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/vr/ - Retro Games

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File: 54 KB, 340x293, Metal_Gear_Solid_cover_art.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2803029 No.2803029 [Reply] [Original]

Metal Gear Solid's "plot" is batshit retarded, and would never be accepted in a Hollywood movie. And that's saying something, since the bar for movies is set pretty low. Metal Gear Solid is like... sub-Michael Bay tier.

>Solid Snake goes to Alaska to fight a gang of mercenaries and rescue hostages.
>But actually, mercenaries have new metal gear! We're supposed to be surprised for some reason.
>Solid Snake meets old friend McDonald Miller.
>But actually, McDonald Miller is bad guy in disguise :^)
>And actually, bad guy is Solid Snake's brother :^))
>Yes, Solid Snake has a brother...
>But then Solid Snake meets DARPA chief and ArmsTech man just in time to watch them die.
>But actually, Solid Snake is killing them, with a virus that was designed to kill bad guy :^)))
>And actually, bad guy is clone of Big Boss, who has all of Big Boss's inferior recessive genes :^))))
>Solid Snake meets a friendly scientist.
>But actually, scientist invented metal gear, because he wanted to make anime real :^)))))
>Solid Snake needs to find three keys to deactivate metal gear.
>But actually, it's just ONE key that changes forms :^))))))
>So Solid Snake takes the key to metal gear, and deactivates it.
>But actually, it was already inactive, and Solid Snake just activated it :^)))))))
>And actually, bad guy has all the dominant genes from Big Boss :^))))))))
>And actually, the real bad guy is someone else :^)))))))))
>And actually, the real bad guy is president of United States :^))))))))))

It's like the most convoluted episode of G.I. Joe ever.

>> No.2803040

>>2803029
It's a video game, how is that anything new? The video game's which have plots that actually could hold up in another medium like film or books are less than 0.01% of all of them.

If you're playing games for story you're wasting your time. If you care about the plot of Metal Gear you need to seriously think about your priorities in life.

>> No.2803041

nice bait it's a great game

>> No.2803043

>>2803040
pretty much

>> No.2803047

>>2803040
>If you're playing games for story you're wasting your time

So should I just be skipping all the cutscenes and codec conversations then? That's like 75% of the game, lmao

>> No.2803049

>>2803029

>> No.2803050

>>2803047
Just turn off your brain and enjoy it for what it really is.

>> No.2803054

hey mom come check out this shitpost i just wrote!

>> No.2803056

>>2803047
No because they are giving you clues as to what to do and the story is still there to give context. My point is that expecting it to make as much sense or be as well written as a movie is pointless. Accept that the story is ridiculous and just a foil for the gameplay and run with it.

>> No.2803057
File: 3 KB, 747x33, 123414.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2803057

>>2803047
>So should I just be skipping all the cutscenes and codec conversations then?
Yes, skip the gameplay as well

>> No.2803104

Okay.

>> No.2803106

>>2803054
>"I'm unwilling to internalize someone else's viewpoint so I'm going to ignore it instead!"

>> No.2803115

>>2803029

this is a good read about Kojima's writing :

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/metal-gear-solid-5-it-time-admit-hideo-kojima-terrible-writer-1517034

>> No.2803123

>>2803029
You must hate almost all vg stories, then.

>> No.2803131

>>2803106
No, you really are just a shitposter and a lousy one at that.

>> No.2803132

>>2803115
>ibtimes
No thanks, fâm.

>> No.2803209

>>2803029
MGS could be a fantastic movie if done right...... BUT....... so much of the bat shit crazy plot would have to go.

Keep it inline with the "basic" plotline and maybe add a few things. Here's what I would want to see.
>Snake sneaks into base
>told he has x amount of time to fulfill mission before base will be bombed
>kills enemy soldiers, find weapons, etc
>find Meryl talk, to superiors thru codec, a wild greyfox appears, etc
>engage in fights with bosses as story progresses
>find a "mostly" finished but vulnerable now operational metal gear(none of that key stuff)
>fight liquid on top of destroyed Metal Gear
>times up base begins to be bombed. Escape in jeep thru nearby tunnel

>> No.2803213

>>2803029
>video game plots should focus ont the most mundane and boring events because that's what reality and verisimilitude are supposed to be about, right guise?

>> No.2803225
File: 45 KB, 500x375, ZM5WS1W.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2803225

>>2803029
You're blowing the lid off this whole thing OP. How could nobody have ever realized that Metal Gear has a silly story?

We're through the looking glass here people

>> No.2803282

>>2803029
Are you the same autist who's been remaking the same thread over and over again over how overrated MGS1 is? I'll give you credit for at least changing the OP image this time.
>>/vr/image/FiQwPxwEZpxQydK4F2K-8g

>> No.2803303

>>2803225
>We're through the looking glass here people
>>2803282
>>>/vr/image/FiQwPxwEZpxQydK4F2K-8g

we sure are

>> No.2803601

you're critiquing something from a genre fiction perspective when it should be looked at from a literary perspective. why not criticize its message rather than the "logic"? maybe because you're a braindead idiot that doesn't understand even the simplest postmodernism.

>and would never be accepted in a Hollywood movie

and wat's your oint? ollywood movies are low brow sit.

>> No.2803628
File: 372 KB, 772x1024, escapade in new jersey.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2803628

>>2803029
Have you never seen a silly 80s action movie or even a movie in general? There is an infinite amount of very unlikely scenarios but it's fun, just like MGS is fun. Great job typing all that out to bait me :^)

>> No.2803637

>>2803628
Of course not. He was born in 2005 and his parents wouldn't let him watch anything that violent.

>> No.2803639

OP, I had the same problem as you. I'm trying Syphon Filter instead. Maybe that's more your thing?

>> No.2803649

>>2803628

But see, fans of the series never let in anyone in on the joke: instead of just coming right out and saying "It's about the narm-charm, dude." they act like it really _is_ some kind of masterpiece narrative/storyline.

There comes a point at which your satire or lampoon or what-have-you can be so subtle it crosses the line into just being a poor attempt at humor.

>> No.2803747

>>2803029

You could make any plot seem stupid by trivializing it like that.

Romeo and Juliet

>romeo loves juliet :^))
>but oh no, romeo is not allowed to be with juliet because she is from a rival family :^))
>they both die :O

So fucking shitty and stupid

>> No.2803771

>>2803649
How hard is it to believe that different people would like a series for different reasons?

>> No.2803776

>>2803771

That wasn't even the point of my post.

>> No.2803780

>>2803776
But it was the point of mine.

>> No.2803816

>>2803029
And that's why I love it.

>> No.2803828

>>2803780

What the fuck does that even mean?

>> No.2803836

>>2803029
i don't give a fuck. it's metal gear game and it's awesome at begin metal gear game.

>> No.2804183

>>2803029
Still sounds better than most action movies from the 90s. So what.

>> No.2804187

You shouldn't look for a logical plotline in Metal Gear because that never was the point. What you should look for is the overall message and theme.
Kojima has said this over and over, yet people keep ignoring him.

>> No.2804201

>not enjoying MGS's plot for the goofy yet cool fun it is
>being such a teenager you can't enjoy anything unless it's realistic
Why are you on a video game imageboard on a site for chink cartoons? Serious question. I don't think this place is really for you.

>> No.2804208

>>2803029
>Metal Gear Solid's "plot" is batshit retarded
yeah. I realised this when I was 12 and scratched my heads at the morons thinking it was 'genius'. looking at this thread it seems these kids grew up to be the manchildren we are witnessing itt. it's pretty funny.

still love metal gear tho, even the story. just play/watch it like you'd watch the story in a b-movie. at least mgs doesn't take itself seriously.

>> No.2804210

>>2804201
>>not enjoying MGS's plot for the goofy yet cool fun it is
pretty much this. mgs is just goofy fun and it knows it's that, while still being a technical masterpiece for their respective times (MGS5 is kind of an exception in this regard). really great audiovisual presentation too.

>> No.2804686

>>2804187
>What you should look for is the overall message and theme. Kojima has said this over and over, yet people keep ignoring him.

Those are written even more poorly than anything else. Kojima is completely over his head. They are just freshman-tier info dumps.

>> No.2804986

>>2804686
remember that gay as fuck moment where otacon asks snake if love can bloom on the battlefield? so much cringe. the worst thing is that I bet these emotionally stunted autists here on /vr/ actually tear up on that kinda shit. these people are so fucking pathetic.

>> No.2805015

This way of thinking and demanding "realism" from everything is what ruins fun. You know why japanese and chinese have much more fun with their kung fu movies with ropes and their mangas with wacky stuff that doesnt make sense (IE: giant monsters, giant robots etc)? Because they dont give a fuck about details, they care much more about the overal premise and action. They know its cheesy and defies logic, they just dont give a fuck and its all there because its fun.
This is why you will never ever see an entertaining north american godzilla movie, and instead you will be given pseudo sci fi crap that feels more like a cheap Rolland Emmerich's disaster movie than a fun monster movie.
And to be far, even with all flaws, mgs on ps1 makes much more sense and has a better plot than both mgs2 and mgs4.

>> No.2805124

>>2804986
Otacon had stockholm syndrome, whats so hard to understand?

>> No.2805128
File: 12 KB, 130x170, MG_Trained_Killer_Scorpions.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2805128

>Metal Gear has always been retarded
>every time a new game comes out fake fans complain about how the story doesn't make sense

You're right guys, parasites are so much dumber than nanomachines which are so much dumber than poisonous hamsters and trained attack scorpions

>> No.2805135

>>2804986
To be fair he was talking about sniper wolf.

>> No.2805147

>>2805124
theres nothing hard to understand about it and I never said there was you fucking faggot. i'm saying that shit is gay as fuck and utterly cringeworthy. the fact that your emotionally stunted brain doesn't even register this only proves my point that you faggots are socially and emotionally stunted beyond belief. i bet you actually get emotional during that faggot shit. all it does to me is make me roll my fucking eyes. not only is the scene contrived beyond all hell, it comes with otacon's cringeworthy voice acting to boot along with the shitty video game scripting that is often typical of mgs. i bet you watch anime too don't you? top kek

>> No.2805157

>>2803029
Hollywood movies are the biggest pieces of shit ever. There's a reason why movies aren't making any money any more compared to games

>> No.2805158

>>2805157
>There's a reason why movies aren't making any money any more compared to games

Ah, you've been fooled by the statistics shitted out by the games industry. Its revenue is higher (owing of course to the much higher individual unit price of games / hardware compared to movies) but its profits are lower.

>> No.2805167

>>2805147
I never said it was done well, just that it makes sense.

>> No.2805170

>>2805147
What do your points have to do with anything? We're discussing the game here, not your stupid emotionally stunted humans shit. Complain about the game, not the people.

>> No.2805173

>>2805147
Omg a game did something I didn't like so I'm going to cry about it on some website. The faggot here is yourself.

>> No.2805181

>>2805170
>Complain about the game, not the people.
i did, you emotionally stunted basement dweller

>> No.2805191

>>2805147
You made it sound like Otacon was coming to Snake but he was really talking about Sniper Wolf after she took him hostage.
But yeah the writing is horrible, we agree with that.

>> No.2805205
File: 51 KB, 344x237, snake wears a thong btw.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2805205

>>2805191
>You made it sound like Otacon was coming to Snake
i didnt mean it in that sense ffs

but yeah now that you mention that aspect, otacon and snake were fucking fags for each other holy shit. i mean by the time mgs4 rolls round they've eloped together and have even have an adopted child top fuckin KEK

i really wasnt talking about literal homoerotica but goddamn mgs series is full of that shit too with all the crotch grabbing and what have you

>solid snake
holy fuck why not just call him raging boner?
>naked snake
>DEEP THROAT
>punished snake
>snake eater

el o el

>> No.2805237

>>2805205
>DEEP THROAT
please be a troll, no one could be this ignorant

>> No.2805262

>>2803029

actually compared to recent Hollywood excrement, MGS is Oscar material

Now that comic book adaptations are going down the shitter they`re actually going to start making movies based on games. Blizzard is doing it, Nintendo is getting into it and Sony has a whole fucking studio.

Games are going to be turner into movie, mark my words.

>> No.2805267

>>2805181
And? What has it exactly accomplished?
All I see is someone that can't reasonably argue their own points and instead resorts to name calling.

>> No.2805282

>>2805147
honestly this post makes me cringe more than any videogame

>> No.2805302

>>2805262
>actually compared to recent Hollywood excrement, MGS is Oscar material
I usually tell MGS fans to go read more books. In this instance I say you should go watch move movies.

>> No.2805305

>there will never be a terrible MGS movie to gawk at
Fuck this shit up f^m

>> No.2805308
File: 2.73 MB, 900x506, this is canon.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2805308

>>2805205
lol
srs tho why is mgs so fucking gay?

>> No.2805313

>>2805267
if you cant handle the banter, back to webbit now dear. no downvote button here :^)

>> No.2805339

>>2805308
I think it's cool that fags also get something to look at as long as I can keep my titties.

>> No.2807660

The writing in Metal Gear has never been stellar. Where the series (once upon a time) excelled is in exploring interesting topics and presenting them in a unique way that complemented the tense sneaking scenarios. This aspect took a nosedive when the series got tangled in its own continuity and self-obsession.

>> No.2807670

>>2803132
What's this autism? Say senpai like the nigger you are.

>> No.2807789

>>2805308
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABavfazPTjo

>> No.2807812

0/10 didn't even read

fuck off op

>> No.2807829

>>2807660
Metal Gear was always more conducive to a James Bond approach, where its the same character (Snake) and supporting cast (Colonel), and the scenario is an isolated, self contained environment.

MGS2 relied far too heavily on MGS1. MGS4 relied far too heavily on MGS1-3.

Peacewalker relied far too heavily on MGS3 as a major plotpoint, and MGS5 relied waaaay too heavily on Peacewalker. The whole "rescue Paz" thing is completely fucking retarded because of the true ending to Peacewalker.

So the only really good Metal Gears are the mostly stand alone ones, MGS1, MGS3, and the OG's, Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 (and the Ac!d series as well)

MGS1 relied a bunch on the original Metal Gear, but presented it in a way where you could have zero knowledge of the original making it very easy to jump into as a starting point. Granted, theres some zany bullshit in MGS1 but that kind of comes with the territory, it is from Japan after all.

Same thing with 3. We're presented a familiar, yet different protaganist (Snake, but not-Snake) a new support team with the same member archetypes as MGS1 (lead, weapons/tech, medical) and a new scenario that had throwbacks to previous games, but was also a great starting point.

MGS4 was a fucking hot mess trying to link 3 -mostly- independent and self contained games into a convoluted mess of plot. Spinning a web with the thinnest strands of seemingly insignificant parts of 1 2 and 3, and retconning a ton of shit in the process.

5's story is actually not terrible, its just presented poorly. If they were a bit more heavy handed with the story (like previous MGS games) instead of hiding it behind optional casette tapes people's opinions of it would be better.

>> No.2808008

>>2807829
>MGS2 relied far too heavily on MGS1.
It relied on it, but in a way that was purposeful and fresh. MG2, Ghost Babel, and MGS2 are my favorites. MGS1 and MG3 are great but unbalanced.

And V's story is a fucking disaster from start to finish. The tapes aren't the only issue.

>> No.2808015

>>2808008
I'm not disagreeing, but if it was more narrative focused instead of what we got which was

>Extract this VIP
>Extract that VIP
>Fight some skulls
>Blow up some Walker Gears
>Extract these kids
>Extract this other VIP
>Fight Volgin
>Extract young Liquid Snake but he's completely irrelevant to the plot
>Fight some skulls
>Extract this guy who actually is plot critical, but its so late in the game that its hard to care
>Fight some skulls
>Fight your way to skullface
>Beat Sahelanthropus

I'm not saying the plot is "great" but if it was presented in a better way then just Miller going "CIPHER" or "SKULLFACE" every so often and actually making some of the casettes mandatory, and presented in a more standard way, then the presentation over all would've been better and more metal gear like.

Instead we got the above, but with "DIS IS PEQUOD, EN ROUTE TO LZ" sprinkled in every 5-15 minutes.