Kusoge Thread

[Anonymous No.2749970]

Let's have a thread about truly awful retro games, starting with the "classic" DQ clone, Hoshi wo Miru Hito.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksf6qR2CqOs

[Anonymous No.2749996]

The music is literally random blips and blops

[Anonymous No.2750007]

>>2749970
you know what's weird, there are actually fans of this game... and hot-b in general, that will defend this game to death.

[Anonymous No.2750028]

>>2749996

No, THIS is literally random blips and blops:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC0cvwnG0Ik

[Anonymous No.2750032]

I un-ironically enjoy Spelunker. I love playing it as long as I can until I die for the first time, then turn it off and come back to it later. I have gotten better and better at the game, it's gameplay was immediately dated when Super Mario Bros. came out, it's such a strange beast.

[Anonymous No.2750045]

>>2750032
>I un-ironically enjoy Spelunker.
Are you kidding, I love NES Spelunker.

[Anonymous No.2750050]

>>2750032
I wasn't aware that people actually considered this a shit game... saying that a game is unforgivably hard isn't the same as saying a game is shit you know

[Anonymous No.2750051]

>>2750028
the thing is though that game is a homebrew game made as a joke though.

[Anonymous No.2750052]

>>2750028
that really isn't that far off from the music in OP's game, also you aren't randum and edgy for posting that meme game here.

[Anonymous No.2750056]

>>2750032
I know what you mean, it feels like one of those commodore/spectrum platformers even though it's supposed to be an arcade port.

[Anonymous No.2750067]

ITT: HG101

[Anonymous No.2750094]

>>2750007
>and hot-b in general

they had some good games. The Blue Marlin is fantastic..and I hate fishing, Palamades is a hidden gem of a puzzle game, Over Horizon is a really fun shooter and should have got an NA release.

[Anonymous No.2750095]

>>2750050
It's considered "kuso-ge" in Japan, albeit a beloved one.

[Anonymous No.2750113]

>>2750032
Spelunker is good kusoge, if that makes sense.

[Anonymous No.2750124]

>>2750067
Truly the IGN of retro video games.

[Anonymous No.2750565]

Armored Police Metal Jack for the Super Nintendo, based on a series that is only slightly better than the game.

One of the characters can't even complete the game thanks to a poorly designed boss fight later on that is impossible due to the fact that he's too slow to land even a single hit.

[Anonymous No.2750607]

Accidents in Paradise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNVVWL_BJKo

An extremely low budget and obscure Germany-only flight "simulation" about the Earth being invaded by retarded aliens.

The whole thing is absolutely ridiculous on so many levels and simply one big joke, starting with the silly writing that involves Will Smith as US president and gay air traffic controllers, over the missions that involve shit like finding out whether the spotted unidentified objects are actually aliens or just a bunch of drunk airplane pilots, to the unorthodox locations like the Moselle Valley and credits where one of the special thanks is for the erection of one of the devs.

But it all pales in comparison to the joystick calibration where whenever you move the stick into one direction you'll hear a male or female voice moaning.
A shame that there isn't a video of it out there because that's shit that needs to be seen to be believed.

[Anonymous No.2750616]

Hi, I'm Earnest Evans. Check out my keraaaaaaazy limbs! And my game. Which probably counts as 'good' kusoge like Spelunker. Those retsupurae guys called it 'QWOP mixed with Indiana Jones' and I think the bastards were right. No, Annet, your games were NOT better.

[Anonymous No.2750649]

>>2750616

[P No.2750661]

>>2750032
The arcade version is way more superior, it's actually easier and you don't automatically die when you fall. It even has a sequel on arcade.

[Anonymous No.2750676]

>>2750661

>easier = "way more" superior

I wish /v/ would leave.

[Anonymous No.2751469]

This game came with my SNES when I bought it off my cousin. Never got anywhere as a kid and only truly realized how shit it was when I beat it as an adult.

I don't know how well known it is around here since I'm not a regular poster but I'll describe a few of its problems if anyone is unfamiliar

Tries really hard to be Ys. No bump combat but it might as well be with a sword literally 2 pixels long

Tons of cool magic spell options, but they all cost too much MP to use and the basic versions of each spell are the best.

Speaking of spells, you cant actually use magic in boss rooms. You can only equip rings that give you minor boosts for ~6 seconds before they drain all your mp and unequip themselves

There are healing and mana replenishing items but they are rare and purchasing them involves massive backtracking to the one store in the game that sells them. You can only hold one of each at a time.

HP and MP regen on their own by standing still, but the process is incredibly slow. At higher levels regen from low hp to full takes a minute and a half. In a dungeon where every enemy takes half your hp with one hit this gets really tedious really fast.

Story is the most basic shit ever and might as well not exist. Final boss is a nightmare even when overleveled because of the games tendency to make bosses trap you in a corner with no invincibility frames which instakills you. Also his final form makes this awful high pitched screech constantly that really hurt my ears.

It was still an interesting experience at least. I usually don't force myself through bad games.

[Anonymous No.2751489]

A herd of fuckin' ugly reds is invading your country! What do?

[Anonymous No.2751536]

>>2751469
Lagoon fan site. It's real.

http://secretplace.cml-a.com/

[Anonymous No.2751542]

>>2751536
I wouldn't have been able to get through the game without that site.

[Anonymous No.2751851]

Does the genesis port of Shadow of the Beast count?

[Anonymous No.2751868]

>>2749970
Grabbed this intro text from a shitty PC-Engine shmup called 'Rock On'

[Anonymous No.2751871]

I still go back to play it sometimes. Its bad but interesting.

[Anonymous No.2751874]

>>2751489
>dat loop

[Anonymous No.2751876]

>>2751489
Has anyone taken the time to kill 1.2 billion reds?

[Anonymous No.2751893]

>>2751868
>no one in the world can make it real who has got to be billionet and radical, physically and mentally....

[Anonymous No.2751919]

>>2750607
downloading, this sounds hilarious

[Anonymous No.2751947]

>>2751851
The part where they didn't bother adjusting the game for 60 hz? Pretty hilarious.

Heavy Nova is the worst game I can remember attempting to play. Maybe I was missing something.

[Anonymous No.2752375]

>>2749970
Sword of Sodan on Genesis is wretched

[Anonymous No.2752620]

My biggest gripe with Hoshi o Miru Hito is the nonexistent character progression. When you level up, only your HP goes up. When it's time to face stronger enemies you don't have stats high enough to even damage them, making you run away every fight.

[Anonymous No.2752626]

>>2751868
>>2751893
TG16 games were notorious for having engrishy text, this is amusing but hardly shocking or telling of how bad the game is.

[Anonymous No.2752629]

>>2750094
I meant their RPGs, which were always mediocre at best. There are people out there that defend them like fatlus neckbeards defend atlus... I don't get it.

[Anonymous No.2752632]

>>2750094
>Palamades is a hidden gem of a puzzle game,
jesus christ, this box art
I have to wonder how many NES games horrible box art destroyed

[Anonymous No.2752650]

>>2749996
Same as all music from that era.

[Anonymous No.2752659]

>>2752650
>being this autistic
come one, you knew what they meant.

[Anonymous No.2753261]

the way the music never stops even between levels becomes maddening after a while. Typical Deco, uh, "quality" but you all probably knew that.

[Anonymous No.2753267]

Has anyone else played this piece of shit? I bought it for the cover art. Oddly enough I also bought a game called Robotica for Saturn that same day. It was also complete shit and also made by Micronet.

[Anonymous No.2753268]

>>2751871

I actually love trespasser. And I didnt even play it before like... five years ago. I find it incredibly immersive even when the engine shits itself every five minutes.

[Anonymous No.2753287]

>>2753267
>amazinly exciting

[Anonymous No.2753861]

>>2753267
We used to play this crap in vs mode. Horrible.

My nomination for this thread is Wrath of the Black Manta.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alOjnTxp5co

Also,
Altered Beast is a horrible, horrible game

[Anonymous No.2753862]

>>2749970
I'm far from knowledgeable about music composition, but the music sounds like maybe the "instruments" are slightly out of sync or something.

[Anonymous No.2753983]

>>2753861
>Wrath of the Black Manta
Kusoge levels of awful? I'm not seeing it. At worst, it's kinda average. Controls were responsive, hitboxes and platforming were fine, and some of the special moves were pretty cool. The only negatives I can think of are the laughably bad 80's ninja/say no to drugs story, the lack of variety of music, and the repetitiveness due to the lack of challenge. Maybe I'm a little biased towards it because it was one of the few NES games I could beat as a kid.

On the other hand, I played a ton of Ikari Warriors NES for god knows what reason. The arcade version was decent, but holy shit was the NES port unrelentingly awful. Ikari Warriors II and its morse code intro can go fuck itself too.

[Anonymous No.2754115]

>>2753983
It's a sub-standard and even slower Shinobi clone with worse controls IMO. I borrowed it as a kid and considered it a waste of time as I played it, but finished it anyway. I wasn't charmed by any of its cheesiness back then, so yeah I'd put it in kusoge territory personally.

[Anonymous No.2754116]

>>2750616
I really wish WolfTeam wouldn't have fucked this game up so bad. I like the idea and actually like El Viento. But god was that game shit it makes me sad.

[Anonymous No.2754124]

>>2750616
worst part about it was the turrican damage

[Anonymous No.2754134]

>>2750616
Poor Earnest, I really liked the game and I learned to control it pretty fine.
I didn't even noticed a lot of it's flaws or just decided they wheren't important because I assumed my opinions were wrong.

I still like it more than El Viento thanks to his bosses.

[Anonymous No.2754150]

>>2754134
I just can't get past the physics thing they did with his sprite and if the layout was better I would love it. I like the character design a lot though looks cool.

[Anonymous No.2755101]

>>2754150
Chara design is a given because friggin' Wolfteam, but the controls are the main offender because usually their games where tight as hell.

>Arcus Odissey
Using bouncing arrows to hit enemies safely was top fun.

[Anonymous No.2755430]

>>2749970
So how do I get a password in this game? I can't find anyone who saves your progress or anything

[Anonymous No.2755674]

>battles are very SLOW
>all offensive magic misses 1/2 of the time on any enemy
>game emphasizes magic use and most characters are spell casters but mana is always in short supply
>spell MP cost scales up faster than spell power
>difficulty scales up according to your level
>you never feel like you're becoming stronger as you level up

[Anonymous No.2755685]

>>2749970

[Anonymous No.2755706]

>>2755674
>Hey, this can't be that bad, I could probably try it out
>look up a youtube video
>battles this fucking slow-paced with an average JRPG encounter rate
It looks like murder to play. I am a /vr/ JRPG addict and kusoge ones have a certain charm to them, but I'm not touching this with a 10 foot pole.

Pic related is another RPG kusoge. Delirious music, shitty graphics, virtual absence of plot. The only notable thing about it is that you can run out of random encounters in a given location, which prevents you from overgrinding, and that you can reach big 5-digit numbers on your stats rather early on, making it appealing to the terminally autistic like me

[Anonymous No.2755713]

>>2752620
Do you get stronger from equips instead then?

[Anonymous No.2755718]

Reminder that there's a difference between "kusoge" and "bakage"

Kusoge: Genuinely bad game.

Bakage: Can be good or bad. But the premise or graphics are just plain weird.


For example: Cheetahmen is a kusoge

Something like Growl/Runark is a bakage

Many people consider Trio the Punch a bakage, not a kusoge.

[Anonymous No.2755721]

>>2753261
>Doom Guy and his friends the Bad Dudes memorialized as gilded paintings

I've heard things about pic related, I own it and intend to finish it sometime in the next year along with every other NES game I've ever purchased. Is it kusoge or just grueling? The manual makes it seem like the latter.

>7 towers
>all of them have invisible entrances
>and 200+ rooms
>there are also invisible entrances to parallel world mazes
>which also have invisible exits

As a fan of map making I expect to enjoy it but I also expect pain.

[Anonymous No.2755726]

>>2750676
Then leave.

[Anonymous No.2755729]

>>2755721
forgot pic like a foo

[Anonymous No.2755738]

>>2751489
I love Beijing Tiananmen

[Anonymous No.2755757]

>>2753261
LUCKY!
CHA CHA!

[Anonymous No.2755763]

>>2751469
Lol sounds like you just suck kid. Lagoon was hella good.

[Anonymous No.2756064]

>>2755721
>>2755729
>Is it kusoge or just grueling?

I enjoyed it, but it does have some serious flaws. Enemies can sometimes hit you near-instantly if you enter a room from the wrong direction, and it takes an absurd number of hits to kill anything until you get some upgrades.

I'm also not sure you fully comprehend how ridiculous the dungeons are and how difficult they are to map. In addition to what you listed, the dungeon maps loop: traveling off the right edge brings you to the left edge of the map and so forth. I initially tried mapping out the dungeons, but gave up due to that and the way nearly every room looks identical. I still somehow beat the game eventually, though.

[Anonymous No.2756068]

>>2753267
my vote for worst controls ever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VlfPZ-LUA4

[Anonymous No.2756078]

>>2752659
No, it's pretty typical nes music. Fuck him and fuck you.

[Anonymous No.2756112]

>>2756078
we got an edgemaster here