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/vr/ - Retro Games

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1525480 No.1525480 [Reply] [Original]

Good job contestant..
You have defeated all other players now what is your wish?

>> No.1525481

>>1525480
I wish that you would not grant this wish.

>> No.1525484

>>1525481
Seconding this. Fuck you, Calypso. I just want to go home*

*This does not count as a wish.

>> No.1525486

>>1525481
GRANTED!
I am calypso.. And I thank you for wasting your one wish idiot!

>> No.1525487

>>1525480
>now what is your wish?

I wish square enix would fucking die

>> No.1525493

>>1525484
Then go..? Why did you enter my tournament to began with?

>> No.1525497

>>1525493
>Why did you enter my tournament to began with?

I like blowing stuff up. Is that so wrong?

>> No.1525503

>>1525480
A sequel that doesn't suck terrible dick, please.

>> No.1525504

>>1525487
GRANTED!
I am calypso and I thank you for playing!
- your granted unlimited weapons and ammo of your choice, however as soon as your done killing everyone in SEhq, the army kills you. Alternatively: everyone whoever dealt with SE through interaction or playing their games dies except you. So if your family ever played a SE game they would die as well. EVERYONE except you.

>> No.1525509

>>1525497
Sweet tooth pls go..
>>1525503
GRANTED!
You are given a sequel of your dreamsdeveloped by square enix

>> No.1525516

>>1525504
>the army kills you.
>Alternatively: everyone whoever dealt with SE through interaction or playing their games dies except you.

so what i dont die? and everyone else does? because i live alone and have no friends. Did i just save humanity?

>> No.1525520

>>1525516
thats subjective
Humanity was kinda fucked already don't you think?

>> No.1525523

>>1525520
nah quit your shit Calypso you lose!

>> No.1525528

>>1525523
Lose what? I have everything I need..
Anyway enjoy those extra deaths on your hands more souls for me!

>> No.1525540

>>1525504

Nah, should be:

You wake up next to a beautiful woman, in a big, spacious bedroom. Not knowing what's going on, you answer the phone next to you. It's your chauffeur, saying he's here to pick you up. Your wife tells you to get dressed, and you barely have time to enjoy your amazing surroundings before you have to leave.

Once in your Rolls Royce limo, the chauffeur reminds you of the amazing schedule you have ahead of you, including big business meetings, one month vacation on a private island in a weeks time... etc. You arrive at a tall office building, and are ushered upstairs by waiting men in suits, all buzzing to you about the latest performance statistics and profits. You reach the door of the office, and look at the name plaque on the door. Beneath your name, it reads "C.E.O., Square Enix".

A sick feeling overwhelms you. One of your aides opens the door to your office, just in time for you to see the front end of a jumbo jet approaching your big, soon to be non-existent, office windows.

>> No.1525560

>>1525486
You fucked up.

>> No.1525571

I wish SingleTrac would produce a new vehicular combat game

>> No.1525607

>>1525571
They don't exist anymore.

>> No.1525613

I wish for a banana flavored soda in a regular 12oz can with no funny business that will prevent me from enjoying it.

>> No.1525642

>>1525613
You've just asked for some thoroughly unfunny business preventing you. What a rookie mistake.

>> No.1525654

>>1525642
When it comes to my banana flavored soda I am not in a laughing mood if someone decides to fuck with me. If any kind of business is gonna prevent me it's gonna be the unfunny kind.

>> No.1525690
File: 99 KB, 800x533, 1349409129454.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1525690

I wish to be a bear that isn't killed or about to be killed.

>> No.1526424

>>1525607
You fucking heard me.

>> No.1526440

I wish the McRib was always back. I think eating whatever McRibs are actually made out of is punishment enough.

>> No.1526953

I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard. And... and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises, you got it?

>> No.1526971

>>1525480
first, infinite wish,
then, try to be as good as Carmageddon next time.

>> No.1526972

>>1525607
Next Car game by Bugbear, and Carmageddon reincarnation.

>> No.1527087

>>1526972
No, Singletrac doesn't exist anymore.

And Next Car Game is just Flatout.

>> No.1527104

>>1527087
What's wrong with Carmageddon ?

>> No.1527148

I wish you would fuck yourself.with a dragon dildo onstage in front of a thousand people while telling the audience all your most humiliating secrets without harming them or anyone else.

>> No.1527315
File: 453 KB, 1500x1407, 465493-teddy_bear3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1527315

>>1525690
POOF, granted I hope you enjoy your life forever as a bear, nobody will want to kill you don't worry

>> No.1528426

I wish you would never do another Twisted Metal tournament.

>> No.1528481
File: 116 KB, 600x412, 1350274206288.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1528481

>>1527315
Thanks Calypso.

>> No.1528495

I wish... I wish... I wish Mickey Torrelli hadn’t been drinking on the job two days ago.

>> No.1528587
File: 37 KB, 600x447, 1349421383830.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1528587

>>1528495
Someone here saw Wishmaster and actually enjoyed it enough to reference it?

>> No.1528607

>>1528587
"Enjoyed" is a strong word to throw around discussions of Wishmaster, Bruce

>> No.1528734

>>1528426
This happened once, I think it was in the unused TM1 cutscenes. Guess what he did?

He rid the world of the tournament... along with everything else.

>> No.1528754

>>1528734
Which character?

>> No.1528790
File: 30 KB, 320x314, time[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1528790

>>1526971
>first wish, infinite wishes
Granted
>and for my first wish, infinite wishes
Granted
>For my first wish, infinite wishes
Granted
>I wish for infinite wishes
Granted
>First off, I'd like infinite wishes
Granted
>Wish #1 is infinite wishes
Granted
>first wish, infinite wishes
Granted...

>> No.1528801

>>1528607
Someone actually quoting DKR's version of Talia al Ghul except for three words?

>> No.1528809

>>1528754
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztD1r6pKJLc

>> No.1528859

I wish for moot's used onahole.

>> No.1529003

>>1525480

CALYPSO! I HAVE BROKEN AND TWISTED ALL WHO HAVE STOOD BEFORE ME, USING THEIR BATTERED CORPSES TO REACH YOU! AND NOW....and now...uh...

Shit, hold on, give me a minute, I didn't actually think I'd get this far.

Uh...I guess....having a beautiful, caring wife, along with maybe two smart, kind children, and die comfortably in my bed, surrounded by my family, with my holding my hand in my final moment.

>> No.1529114

I forget, didn't calypso not fuck a wish if it was something benign like money or something horrible like wishing a guy dead?

>> No.1529118

also, how the FUCK did sweet tooth get away with switching bodies with calypso and having it work in his favor?

>> No.1529126

>>1529114
>>1529118

One guy asked for tons of money, so it started raining cash and eventually crushed him to death.

And he HAS to grant a wish, even if he doesn't want to. Its one of the rules.

>> No.1529128

>>1529114
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRV__I9tZ3c

>> No.1529212

>>1529114
As far as I remember when sweet tooth wished to be a bug he just turned him into a bug.

>> No.1529246
File: 22 KB, 640x368, calypso_005[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1529246

>>1529114
TM: Black was the only one where Calypso was pretty benign with most of his wishes, otherwise he screws over everyone in the other games save for a few exceptions such as Sweet Tooth in 2 or Cousin Eddy.

>> No.1529258

>>1525503
To Twisted Metal?
Head On Ultra Twisted Edition.

>> No.1529261

>>1525509
>Having the wish make the sequel developed by Square
>Not just making it so the next game sucks ass instead of sucking dick

Calypso plz.

>> No.1529267

>>1525480

I WANT YOU TO STEP OFF

IF YOU HAVEN'T STEPPED OFF YOU SHOULD HAVE

>> No.1529338
File: 28 KB, 269x340, 1392602464144.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1529338

>>1525540
10/10

>> No.1529676
File: 38 KB, 532x247, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1529676

>>1525480
I'm an actor, and I'm really, really good, and I've been struggling, searching for my big break for over six weeks! Please, Calypso! You gotta make me famous! Make it so the entire world knows my face!

>> No.1529715

The completely facilitated ability to control and relinquish any number of times the mind of any other living creature without causing any unintended harm to the target or myself, including the capacity to turn this ability on and off at whim.

>> No.1529721

>>1529715
>they never had a lawyer contestant whip up a wish without a loophole

>> No.1529852
File: 13 KB, 480x360, hqdefault[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1529852

Let's go, Black. It's time to come home.

>> No.1530164

>>1525480
I just want a sandwich

Nothing funny, no poison, no choking hazard, no wierd shit just a sandwich

>> No.1530178

One 1997 Toyota Supra, Turbo, Manual transmission, Blue in color, in factory new condition, which will not be stolen, damaged by criminal acts or vandalism, accident, force of nature/"act of god", or collision, and is legally mine, and is legal to drive at my leisure, which will not include me from incarceration or injury from prerequisite actions taken to aquire it (like the tournament).

>> No.1530182

>>1525480
I wish to be the little girl.

>> No.1530184
File: 541 KB, 1722x1104, jambon-compté.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1530184

>>1530164
Here, a sandwich. Bon appetit! :)
Nothing funny, no poison, no choking hazard, no wierd shit.

>> No.1530190

>>1530184
Take the tomatoes off that thing before you eat it.

Citation: I know evil sandwiches

>> No.1530196
File: 10 KB, 300x225, 228488-kamon_super.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1530196

>>1529676
> You just read that, and this, in my voice, and realized that they are the same.

>> No.1530205

>>1530184
If I recall there were at least a couple wishes in TM that were straight-out granted and resulted in a happy ending with no Monkey Paw shenanigans. A sandwich may or may not have been involved

>> No.1530250

>>1530190
THE BROODWHICH

>> No.1530296

>>1530190
>>1530205
The joke was: it's just an internet pic.

>> No.1530321
File: 113 KB, 477x360, TwistedMetalCalypso.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1530321

>>1529852
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WHATAREYOUDOINGBLACK?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BLACK
NOOOOOOOOOOO

>> No.1530348

>>1530321
heh... best ending ever

>> No.1530514
File: 194 KB, 720x540, 1395268819281.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1530514

>>1530196
>>1529676

>> No.1531875
File: 297 KB, 1750x2500, traditional-german-costume.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1531875

>>1526440
>I wish the McRib was always back. I think eating whatever McRibs are actually made out of is punishment enough.

WISH GRANTED. YOU ARE NOW A GERMAN LIVING IN GERMANY, WHERE YOU CAN ALWAYS BUY THE MCRIB

>> No.1532858

>>1531875
>YOU ARE NOW A GERMAN LIVING IN GERMANY
Wow, that's a pretty harsh punishment.

>> No.1536182

I wish Calypso would leave.

>> No.1536189

I wish you would go spend time with your daughter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhWm6fZ17aM

>> No.1536196

>>1536189
>tfw.png

>> No.1537374
File: 73 KB, 541x570, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1537374

>>1530196
Christopher Nussley?

>> No.1537898
File: 128 KB, 1200x800, full-moon-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1537898

>>1530178
Sure thing. All you have to do is go get it.