/vr/ - Retro Games

[Anonymous No.1443919]

What is the worst retro game you have ever played or owned?

[Anonymous No.1443929]

>>1443919
Batman Forever, for my own personal collection. Action 52 for games that I've ever played.

I don't care if Action 52 is a cliche answer. That game is fucking awful. I went into it thinking that I may have been able to find some redeeming factors...I found none whatsoever. That game is completely deserving of its reputation. The games are so cheaply made and boring, so many of the games are barebones shmups (I can honestly say that if you picked a shmup at random that wasn't from Action 52, I'd enjoy it a lot more than any shmup found in Action 52). I have honestly found better made games looking through GameMaker creations that were made by 14 year olds.

Oh, and I'm the guy from the other thread. Plumbers Don't War Ties is a fucking fappable title. At least you had titties to look at in this game. Action 52 can't even deliver on that front.

[Anonymous No.1443956]

Friend of mine got Superman 64 as a gift when he was a kid. One time, years later, he brought it over so we could play and see how bad it was. After that day, I found the game hidden in my own carts. He had forced upon me the burden of ownership. Eventually I remembered and made him take it back.

As for stuff I actually bought or got as a gift, probably the Jungle Book game on Game Boy. I quit that shit and stole my brother's Mario Land 2 as soon as I could.

[Anonymous No.1443964]

There was a lot of shit. I'll say Menace Beach, since it's a bit harder to find, but honestly Back to the Future (NES) was just as bad. And tons of miserable shit on the C64.

[Anonymous No.1443972]

The worst one i actually own is Dragonball Z Ultimate Battle 22. Everything besides the music is shit. It's not even the worst Dragonball game though. I also have DBZ Taiketsu, which does not even have good music. It's for GBA though.

[Anonymous No.1443989]

Where's Waldo or Family Dog for SNES

[Anonymous No.1444000]

Asghan: The Dragon Slayer
I bought it years ago and I was really disappointed when my computer couldn't run it. Couple of years ago I re-discovered it from my closet and decided to give it a try. Turned out it sucks ass(ghan). It's like Resident Evil with swords. Also, the guy on the box looks nothing like in the game. Oh how many years I spent reading the manual and looking at them beautiful box shots.

[Anonymous No.1444001]

Solar Crusade

Most FMV railshooters at least take the enemies out of the movie when destroyed but this one keeps them in and simply slaps an animated sprite of an explosion over them.
Not to mention that the faux-anime sequences are laughable and the gameplay as a whole garbage.

[Anonymous No.1444005]

>>1443972

this, and also obitus for the snes

[Anonymous No.1444007]

>>1444000
I never got past the first area and never actually really bothered to try it again.
Wasn't it actually made on the same engine as Tomb Raider?

[Anonymous No.1444014]

>>1444007
Yeah I just looked some gameplay and it's definitely made on the same engine.

[Anonymous No.1444574]

This pile of dong

[Anonymous No.1444610]

>>1444574
You bitch.

[Anonymous No.1444676]

Worst game from my own collection was probably Winter Games. The figure skating portion is ass; like, two entire, giant hairy cheeks-style ass.

Worst I've played that I didn't own was probably Castlevania 2. I couldn't fathom that game for shit, and was glad as hell to find out later that nobody else could either. I mean I thought I might have just been a complete idiot with that particular game, but it turns out the translation is so esoteric I was hardly to blame for it slapping a diaper on my brain.

[Anonymous No.1444680]

That I've ever played: Slaughter Sport/Fatman
That I own: probably is Pit Fighter.

[Anonymous No.1444742]

Sword of Sodan (Megadrive) Luckily I got it for cheap (maybe $5) so I immediately put it, and another similarly bad game, up for sale for $10 each. It was still the Genesis' heyday, so Japanese anything for $10 was a steal and they sold quick.

[Anonymous No.1444745]

i remember when i got this game

i expected SMW with Luigi going to rescue Mario

i was so disappointed

[Anonymous No.1444748]

>>1443919
>implying Plumbers Don't Wear Ties isn't an all-time classic of script-writing and engaging storylines
come on man go with the flow

[Anonymous No.1444767]

[Anonymous No.1444771]

>>1444767
Oh damn, I've played this

It's fucking trash. If you told me it was an Action 52 title, I'd believe you.

[Anonymous No.1444786]

[Anonymous No.1444819]

>>1444786
I remember this awful piece of shit.

I read about it in a magazine review - it was like 2 pages long and was fairly comprehensively laying out the features. However at the end the critic's final word was something like "oh yeah this is as fun as a barrel full of rabid tuna" or some other sarcastic nonsense.

I was 8 at the time and didn't quite get what he was trying to convey, so I rented it anyways. Huge mistake

[Anonymous No.1444994]

Ultraman

[Anonymous No.1445021]

>>1444574
Eeeh, really?

The Ultima games are dated as hell, but they're very good for when they were made.

[Anonymous No.1445059]

>>1443919

I'm a little ashamed to say I recently paid money for Lester the Unlikely. Kinda a tame answer, but that's definitely the winner for me.

[Oakland No.1445065]

Batman Forever. The Genesis version to be exact. I still have friends over to play it occasionally though, as bad as it is.

[Anonymous No.1445148]

>>1443956
>the Jungle Book game on Game Boy

I saw that in a thrift store earlier today. Glad it was $8 or I would've bought it.

[Anonymous No.1445175]

It was a toss up betwee this and the gamegear dracula game

[Anonymous No.1445578]

>>1443919
But that's not a game...

[Anonymous No.1445629]

I know it's pretty played out to talk about how bad Shaq Fu is but it's the worst game I own. It has some of the most unresponsive controls of any game I've ever played. Characters move like they're on the moon. The game takes itself way to seriously for what it is. Characters have I think two unique moves each. Strangely enough the animations of really when done. It's the games only redeeming factor.

[Anonymous No.1445635]

>>1445629
>Strangely enough the animations of really when done

Anon, are you ok?

[Anonymous No.1445642]

20 Games - Family Games Compendium for the playstation is up there

[Anonymous No.1445693]

>>1445021
Ultima 2 wasn't. It's a convoluted nonsensical mess with RNG up the ass.

[Anonymous No.1445761]

>>1445635
Dude. Don't be a lynchmob faggot.

They are.

[Anonymous No.1445781]

I have to say, I own some truly bad games like Bible Adventures, Fester's Quest, and 2600 ET, but I haven't actually played them. I just bought them because they were dirt cheap.

The "Bad" game I've invested the most amount of time in would have to be Pac-Man 2: The new adventures. I sunk so much time into that game and never could get past chapter 3. I don't think it's as bad as people say it is, but it certainly doesn't benefit from having the pac-man name slapped on it.

>>1445635
He's just coming down with Shaq-Fever.

[Anonymous No.1445976]

Ballz. Pure shit

[Anonymous No.1445998]

>>1445976
Would you say it's balls?

[Anonymous No.1446148]

*Shivers*

[Anonymous No.1446168]

Fighting games don't get much worse than this.

[Anonymous No.1446170]

>>1445635

Anon, they really are. The sprite animations are very fluid and detailed.

The game actually LOOKS good, it just doesn't play well.

[Anonymous No.1446186]

>>1446170

Did you even read the sentence I quoted?

[Anonymous No.1446201]

>>1446186

...I got the gist of it at first, but after rereading it I think I understand what you mean. I thought he was just saying the animation was good.

[Anonymous No.1446217]

>>1444745
>>1445629
I had both of these when they were contemporary! And Superman 64!

And this is still my pick. Fuck this game.

[Anonymous No.1446229]

I really wanted to play this since Syd Mead did the designs and stuff, but this shit is, literally, unplayable.

[Anonymous No.1446232]

I really wanted to play this since Syd Mead did the designs and stuff, but this shit is, literally, unplayable.

[Anonymous No.1446369]

>>1446201

How the hell did you even decode that?

[Anonymous No.1446403]

>>1446201
>I thought he was just saying the animation was good

I was. I don't know how I managed to write that. Although you weren't the only one who managed to read it without noticing.

[Anonymous No.1448084]

>>1445629

What you talkin about? Those were some of the best 6 dollars I ever spent. Me and my friends had a lot of fun with it.

Pic related.

[Anonymous No.1448090]

Carmageddon 64 for N64. It's still the only N64 I have ever owned.

[Anonymous No.1448092]

>>1448090
*only N64 game I have ever owned.

[Anonymous No.1448718]

>>1445781
Fester's Quest is not really in the same category as Bible Adventures. Try it with a rapid fire controller. ET is an open debate, I think; I've heard compelling reasons for it not to be shit.

[Anonymous No.1448724]

Hands down, Superman 64. Unfun ring flythrough, not helped by my dumb kid self thinking you had to fly through EACH ring.

[Anonymous No.1448730]

If the GBA was retro then I would have said MK Advance.

[Anonymous No.1448738]

[Anonymous No.1448739]

>>1444745
I actually have a soft spot for the SNES version of Mario is Missing. I rented it a few times as a kid. It's not a bad Edutainment game at all.

[Anonymous No.1448762]

>>1446217
I am gonna have to agree with this. The only good thing about Arcade's Revenge is the soundtrack

[Anonymous No.1449078]

From childhood it's Dragon's lair on the NES. Rented it, literally a waste of money. Even as a kid I knew there was something horribly wrong with that game. Then there was a game which was called Snakes and Serpents or something like that. I remember hating it too, but it was probably just that I didn't understand how to play it.
Also, I tried some Garfield game on an emulator, it was a joke.

>owned
I don't remember owning too much bad games, I kind of enjoyed almost all of them. I had Simon's quest too and occasionally I still play it and I think it's pretty good.
Spec ops on the PS was just.. kinda bad. Not horrible, but everything about it was just.. not too good. Controls, graphics, everything. I remember trying to like this game, but the movement was awkward, throwing grenades was hard, I ended up dying for the wrong reasons etc.

[Anonymous No.1449086]

>>1444745

I actually had the PC version, shit was actually fun for me back when i was just a kid, but it's a bloody shame I didn't get the glorious voiced one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwYKKTGBDlU

[Anonymous No.1449089]

>>1449078
I only played Stealth Patrol back in the day and for $10 it wasn't horrible, but I wouldn't play it again or whatever came afterwards.

[Anonymous No.1449102]

>>1446217
TSK A BOOM BOOM BAG ABOOM BOOM BEG A BEGA GEEBA BE BOOOM CHECALOOOM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPNFBEi8xC0

[Anonymous No.1449154]

>>1443929
If someone remade the game with actual video and a better menu design, it'd make a tidy profit.

As for "worst retro game I've played/owned", that honor goes to Sonic Blast - not Sonic 3D Blast, mind you, that game is decent once you get the controls down - but a Game Gear title that plays, feels, and sounds like it was coded by the hardestcore autisimo Sonic fans with an Amiga. At least Sonic '06 had SOME redeeming features, as shitty as that game was.

[Anonymous No.1449171]

>>1443929
>Batman Forever

I never got past the first screen. Then I saw a video years later on how to do it and felt like a fucking idiot.

[Anonymous No.1449182]

>>1448738
so edgy