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/vr/ - Retro Games

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File: 117 KB, 838x810, Gold_Skulltula.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1404270 No.1404270[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

If Ocarina of Time were made by Rare you would learn right after getting the last medallion that you have to go back and collect all 100 Gold Skulltula tokens in order to get to Ganon's Castle.

>> No.1405063

If Ocarina of Time were made by Id, the end of every dungeon would show you a percentage of how many skulltulas you found.

>> No.1405092

If Ocarina of Time were made by Square there wouldn't be any skulltulas. Just an ether or a hi-potion every now and then for checking random cupboards.

>> No.1405102

If OoT were made by Square, it would take up five carts and never come out.
Also, It would be on PS1.
Also, it would be three discs.
And Zelda would have a hit single.

>> No.1405103

If it were made by EA, the entire adult section would be DLC

>> No.1405115

if ocarina of time were made by capcom it would be good

>> No.1405119

>>1405115
...said no one, ever.

>> No.1405120

If Ocarina of Time were made by EA, an internet connection is required to play. Also, the game itself would be chopped into multiple pieces of DLC. Want to continue the game after getting the master sword? That will be five more dollars. Also, Ura Zelda will be rushed to to completion next year and it will only be the second in a very long line of yearly installments where hardly anything is changed.

>> No.1405121

If OcaTime were made by Valve, we'd still be waiting for A Link to the Past.

>> No.1405131

If Ocarina of Time were made by Valve, it would be a "pay-to-win" game and all the item shops would use real world money

>> No.1405139

If Ocarina of Time were made by Trilobyte, it would be a point-and-click with shitty fmv patched all over it

>> No.1405140

If Ocarina of Time were made by Nintendo EAD like they made Super Mario 64, you would learn right after getting the last medallion that you have to go back and collect 70 Gold Skulltula tokens in order to get to Ganon's Castle.

>> No.1405148

If Ocarina of Time were made by Ninja Theory, Link would be shirtless and he would have a "fuck you" taunt with customizable profanity. The combat would be based on juggling enemies, which can be done by simply pressing "B" repeatedly. There would be multiple endings, with the only difference being how hard Link and Zelda fug. The game would feature a soundtrack by Drowning Pool.

>> No.1405158

If Ocarina of Time were made by Konami, then the game begins at the point where child Link infiltrates Hyrule Catle, with child Link emerging from the moat then evading guards, using a Kokiri homegrown rolled cigarette as an extended-time bomb fuse, the Great Owl is actually Ganondorf wearing little more than a wig, Navi's background is explored, she dies unless you can get Link to endure a sequence where Ganon places a Bombchu inside the hero's rectal cavity, and Zelda is a girl.

>> No.1405163

>>1405119
Capcom made great Zelda games though.

Oracle of Ages, Oracle of Seasons, and Minish Cap were all made by Capcom.

>> No.1405184

>>1405163
Tangential, but yes, one of those was good.

OoT was good w/o Capcoms help, tyvm.

>> No.1405185

If ocarina of time was made by gearbox, navi would be Angel.

>> No.1405187

>>1405140

This guy is best so far.

>> No.1405190

If Ocarina of Time were made by Rockstar, you could hijack horses and punch Zelda.

>> No.1405194

If Konami had made Ocarina of Time, 80% of game time would be cutscenes, and close blocking shots of Link's tight, shapely ass.

>> No.1405203

If Ocarina of Time was made by Nintendo it would be one of the greatest games of all time.

>> No.1405220

If Ocarina of Time had been made by Team Ninja, the game would've been 66% shorter to facilitate the boob jiggling engine.

If Metroid had been made by Team Ninja.... oh... wait...

>> No.1405227

If Ocarina of Time were made by WayForward, the music would be done entirely by Virt.

>> No.1405228

>>1405163
That's 2 games compared to all the mediocre ones they made.

>> No.1405234

>>1405227
you forgot that the game would be like Zelda 2

>> No.1405248

If Ocarina of Time were made by Team Ninja Link gets permission to leave the house and perform various actions until Navi okays the use of his Biggoron's sword. Once he is given permission to save Hyrule and his game, we see a 30 minute cutscene showing Link obtaining all the equipment in all the dungeons in Hyrule. After a brief tutorial on how to obtain permission to use your equipment you start the games only dungeon, the Great Deku Tree.

>> No.1405252

>>1405220
well shit

>> No.1405265

If Ocarina of Time was made by Sonic Team, it would feature the tragic backstory of Dark Link, who is now equipped with an MP5.

>> No.1405268

If Ocarina of Time were made by Sega, it'd be a classic title that people still played today, instead of some obscure shit only nerds online talk about.

>> No.1405296

If Ocarina of Time were made by Sierra, everything would be designed to delay you, make you mad, and force you to restart the adventure to do an arbitrary list of things starting in the right order this time.

>> No.1405346

If Ocarina of Time were made by ZUN all bosses would be ugly drawn moe girls wearing hats and shooting ridiculous amounts of fireballs at you, all the music would be remixes of older zelda games

>> No.1405351
File: 394 KB, 800x649, zun.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1405351

>>1405346

>> No.1405393

If Ocarina of Time was made by Wayforward, we'd have died of dehydration from weeping with joy.

>> No.1405396

>>1405393
wat

>> No.1405401

>>1405396
you heard him

>> No.1405423

>>1405119

Do not engage the known shitposter troll.

>> No.1405447

If Ocarina of Time were made by DreamWorks, it would star Shrek and be called Ogerina of Grime.

>> No.1405475

>>1405148
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

>> No.1405518

If Konami made OoT, all vital gear found in dungeons would be replaced by keys to unlock rooms on the other end of the map that contain the item you need. Also, most of the friendly NPCs would make no sense whatsoever when spoken to outside of cutscenes.

On the bright side, the combat would be a hell of a lot better.

>> No.1405565

>>1405346

Don't forget the gratuitous amounts of fanart porn and doujins mainly featuring the girls.

>> No.1405760

If OoT was made by Konami it would had akward controls and you would have to fight the camera.

>> No.1405768

>>1405518
did you even play castlevania 64?

>> No.1405769

>>1405120
DLC is barely retro

>> No.1405776

If OoT was made by Romero, you would be Ganondorf's bitch

>> No.1405783

if ocarina of time were made by infogrames, there would be language selection during title screen.

>> No.1405789

If Ocarina of Time were made by Blizzard, it would get a sequel where Link and Ganondorf have to team up to beat an ancient evil while reversing Ganon's corruption and discovering his shamanistic roots

>> No.1405807

If Ocarina of Time was made by FROM you would not have to listen.

>> No.1405809

If oot were made by Bethesda it would be much more sandbox-y and have more traditional rpg elements but would get boring the second you learned how to optimize Link and you'd never want to play it again thanks to knowing all the steps you're going to have to take to get all the shit you need to actually play the game. Also every dungeon would look exactly the same.

>> No.1405810
File: 95 KB, 1190x1260, smirk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1405810

>>1405776

>> No.1405813

>>1405809
Trying this hard when you could have said:

If Ocarina of Time was made by Bethesda you'd get day 1 horse armor dlc for epona.

>> No.1405816

>>1405807
*Obviously that also means no targeting.

>> No.1405817

>>1405813
I like mine better. Plus Epona can't get hurt, silly. Unless you count from your ass slaps

>> No.1405818

>>1405817
The joke

-------------

Your head

>> No.1405821

>>1405818
No, I got it. I just purposefully ignored it

>> No.1405832

>>1405821
Ok, so you just pretended to be retarded.

>> No.1405838

>>1405832
How was I being retarded? Please explain your joke then if you really think I didn't get it. I played the two most recent Elder Scrolls games on xbox and never got any dlc lol

>> No.1405845

>>1405838
>How was I being retarded

I don't know, maybe because you got the joke and decided to make a serious reply anyway.

>> No.1405846

>>1405845
it wasn't really a serious reply. I guess I just wanted to mention ass-slapping

>> No.1405849

>>1405248
Oh, so it'd be your standard Aonuma Zelda game?

>> No.1405874

>>1405220

If OoT was made by Team Ninja under Itagaki there would be dismemberment, a fighting game tier moves list for the Master Sword, Biggoron Sword, Megaton Hammer and Deku Stick. Impa, the bombchu girl and the gerudo women would have jaw dropping physiques, the great fairy would be unabashedly nude, Zelda would have big jugs even in child form (hell, big tits all round) and Ganondorf would be pretty much the same.
There would be dismemberment out the wazoo and the game would be stressful as fuck to try and beat. Anyone that ever complained about the water temple before better prepare their anus.

>> No.1405880

>>1405838
Ending your post in "lol" doesn't do you any favours either.

>> No.1405882
File: 55 KB, 300x300, hdewd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1405882

>>1405880

>> No.1407470

>>1405393
If the OoT was made by WayForward, the game would have ended after beating the first three dungeons.

>> No.1407676

>>1407470
You know Contra 4 is one of if not the longest Contra 4, right?

>> No.1408403

>>1405265

MY SIDES

>> No.1408424

>>1407676
Contra 4 is by far the shortest Contra 4

>> No.1408428

>>1407470
If OoT was made by WarForward, the music would have ironic wubbing interspersed at random parts. Likewise, the game would would be in 3D and run at 60 FPS, while the characters would be in 2D and run at a measly 24 FPS, clashing horribly. Also, the game would be even more formulaic and repetitive in that every stage is almost exactly alike except for different enemies and wubbing ranging from insincere to ironic.

Every boss will be "find item, wait for boss to lunge at you and make him wait for 20 minutes, sprinkle the pepper you found at his nose, make him sneeze, attack the giant glowing circle on his chest 3-5 times, repeat the process three more times".

>> No.1408435
File: 80 KB, 576x768, 1337415963447.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1408435

If OoT was my dad he'd show people who's the boss of this gym.

>> No.1408958

>>1407470
Ah, so it'd be Majora's Mask.

>> No.1408981

If oot was made by you sazuki epona would be a steam punk motorcycle. All boss fights would be qte sequences. Dungeons would just be long pathways with no backtracking. Any enemies you come across drag you into a screen wipe a nd feature acompletely different control scheme.

You could also pick up and examine everything including blades of grass where link would make various comments like "...hmmmm"

>> No.1409007

>>1408424
By that tenant, is Contra 4 not also the longest Contra 4?

>> No.1409013

>>1409007
No, what are you retarded? It's commonly known not only is Contra 4 the shortest Contra 4, its the easiest Contra 4.

>> No.1409038

>>1409013
My bad, I didn't realize that there were such long and hard Contra 4 in existence.

>> No.1409075
File: 7 KB, 191x165, 1315225994878.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1409075

>>1405163
>Capcom made great Zelda games though.

They really didn't. People latch onto those games only because they're the next buried 'obscurity' below Link's Awakening.

>> No.1409981

>>1409075
Link's Awakening was never obscure. Hell, it even had Link's Awakening DX to help revitalize it's popularity. You're just an underaged faggot. Or your parents didn't love you and you didn't have a Gameboy until after Pokemon came out.

>> No.1410004
File: 526 KB, 750x543, DSP sentenced to death.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1410004

>>1409075
>one of the best selling GB games
>obscure
>two of the best selling GBC games
>obscure
>fucking ANY Zelda game
>obscure

>> No.1410018 [DELETED] 

great memeing guys :^)

>> No.1410041

>>1409981
think he meant oracle and ages.
they're decent and the concept for em are whats coolest but they're some of the weaker zeldas.
almost doesn't even feel like zelda

>> No.1410062

>>1405807
If Ocarina of Time was made by From, there would be 250 different weapons, 300 hats and tunics, and 6 endings.

>> No.1410084

>>1410041
>almost doesn't even feel like zelda

Now now, don't need to exaggerate. Both games were very good and they clearly felt like a good Zelda game. They're both MUCH better than the DS games, for example.

I feel that Minish Cap is the most underrated Zelda game.

>> No.1410305

>>1408424
That's very wrong.

>> No.1410870

If OOT was made by SNK many people would still complain they didn't see the ending because of Omega Ganon and the only sequels today would be JP only mobile spinoffs.

>>1405131
Wut.
I've only played TF2 and they items you can only get via dosh are mostly cosmetic. Weapons were mostly drops and almost all were so hilariously situational that they'd barely qualify as upgrades.

>> No.1410886

>>1405163
Capcom made one good and two terrible games.

>> No.1410916

>>1405190
well technically you can do both in the real game

>> No.1410924

The House of Skulltula freaked me the fuck out as a kid. I had no problem slaying the Golden Skulltulas, but those human-spider hybrids were so terrifying that I could not speak to them to get my reward. Too scary.

>> No.1410942

>>1405163
seasons was good, ages wasnt very good, minish cap blows.
If capcom made OOT, it would be a generic 3rd person RPG with over $200 of DLC and quicktime events every 5 steps and it'd get cancelled before even being released after showing "no fan interest" despite everyone having tons of interest in it

>> No.1410978

>>1410886
Which Oracle game didn't you like? Go ahead, say "both" and prove to everyone how much of a master faggot you are.

>> No.1411017

>>1410978
Go ahead and prove how much of a faggot you are by thinking either were good.

>> No.1411480

>>1408428
If OoT was made by WayForward, it would've been based on a licensed property and feature obscenely wobbly and bouncy sprites by Paul Robertson.

>> No.1412043

>>1408428
>Every boss will be "find item, wait for boss to lunge at you and make him wait for 20 minutes, sprinkle the pepper you found at his nose, make him sneeze, attack the giant glowing circle on his chest 3-5 times, repeat the process three more times".

Ah, so nothing different from modern Zelda then.

>> No.1412314

If oot was made by ljn in would be perfect.

>> No.1412328

>>1412314
ha

>> No.1412365

>>1411480

>all redeads replaced by sexy zombie girls
>music composed by virt

>> No.1412412
File: 2 KB, 132x120, Capcom_Sells_L0NK_Sum_Vidya.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1412412

>>1410004
>>1409981
>>>1409075 specifically words it as 'obscurity' because /v/ and /vr/ often touts LA as an obscure gem with personality and charm when it was a popular GB game with as much character as any other Zelda game
>you niggers think that he's actually calling LA obscure

>> No.1414075

>the entire adult section would be DLC
That's crazy enough to be true

>> No.1414080

>>1414075
>>1405103

>> No.1414086

If OOT was made by Suda51, there would be more gore in the American release, and it would have an optional boss fight after the main final boss after completing several conditions throughout the story.

>> No.1414103

>>1409075
>Calling any non-CDI Zelda game obscure
Yeah, sure, just like how people only think Mario 3 is better than World because 3 is more obscure.

>>1410942
>Implying Capcom around the time of OoT was anything but a widely-loved dev with lots of great games
Thanks for making me remember how tragic modern Capcom is, you underaged asshole.

>> No.1414632

>>1410084
>Minish Cap underrated

This.

>> No.1414693

If OoT was made by Code Masters
>you would have to jump onto a sharksfin
>whilst it was swimming
>then run along the fin, as it's movement wouldn't carry you along
>then match a perfect jump from the fin to get into the dungeon
>every movement is frame perfect
>you have to execute this - each way - at least 5 times
>you have 3 lives
your move

>> No.1415637

If Ocarina of time were made by Team Ico, information about it would slowly be realeased. A demo of Link interacting with Epona and sneaking behind Hyrule castle would surface, and then the game would be left in development hell.

>> No.1418042

if OOT was made by John Romero it would have been as good as Daikatana

>> No.1418050

If Donkey Kong 64 was made by Shigeru Miyamoto team, it would be 10/10 GOATY eternal fucksandwich

>> No.1418078

>>1412365
>music composed by virt

See
>>1408428
>the music would have ironic wubbing interspersed at random parts
>the wubbing will range from insincere to ironic

>> No.1418080

If OoT was created by Sega, it would have been filled with cutscenes with bad voice acting.