/vr/ - Retro Games

[Donkey Kong is Love, Donkey Ko(...) No.1266870]

>Be 10 years old me
>I loved Donkey Kong so much, I had all the merchandise and games
>I pray to DK every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given
>"Donkey Kong is love" I say; "Donkey Kong is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Donkey Kong
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's Donkey Kong
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear "This is my banana hoard."
>He grabs me with his powerful kong hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Donkey Kong
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Donkey Kong
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Donkey Kong
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his coconut cream pies
>My dad walks in
>Donkey Kong looks him straight in the eyes and says "Expand Dong."
>Donkey Kong leaves through my window
>Donkey Kong is love. Donkey Kong is life.

[Anonymous No.1266874]

So DK is the equivalent of Shrek here?

[Anonymous No.1266880]

Yes, Fellow Monkeybro, Bronana, or Brokong...WHAT SHALL WE CALL OURSELVES?!

[Anonymous No.1266884]

>>1266880
>Bronana
Why am I laughing so much?

[Anonymous No.1266896]

Then its settled, We are...Bronanas

[Anonymous No.1267723]

God damnit.

[Anonymous No.1267779]

>expand dong bullshit finding its way from /v/ to /vr/
I hid this thread in a banano-second

[Anonymous No.1267789]

>>1266896
>tfw Bronana becomes the new Brony.

[Anonymous No.1267815]

>>1266896
Posting in the genesis thread of the Bronana army
Let's take over the Brogres

[Anonymous No.1267817]

>XD EXPAND DONG LE MONKEY KORNHEISER
>>>/v/

[Anonymous No.1267846]

>Be 10 years old me
>I loved Donkey Kong so much, I had all the merchandise and games
>I pray to DK every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given
>"Donkey Kong is love" I say; "Donkey Kong is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Donkey Kong
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's Donkey Kong
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear "This is my banana hoard."
>He grabs me with his powerful kong hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Donkey Kong
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Donkey Kong
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Donkey Kong
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his coconut cream pies
>My dad walks in
>Donkey Kong looks him straight in the eyes and says "Expand Dong."
>Dad looks him straight in the eye and says "Kappa."
>there is a moment of silence
>suddenly dad takes off his mask and reveals he's actually Kappa
>me and DK run to my closet
>see a skeleton in my closet
>flip the fuck out
>realize it's my dad's decaying corpse
>realize Kappa was wearing my dad's rotting face
>Kappa comes in with blood still trickling down his face from the flesh
>DK looks at me
>"there's no apescape now"

[Anonymous No.1267878]

^
|______________YES!!!

[Anonymous No.1267914]

>This whole thread
>Not Maribros

[Anonymous No.1267920]

there's no apescape now vs. its all ogre now

[Anonymous No.1267921]

go back to /v/ or /b/. This isn't "board culture" on /vr/

[Anonymous No.1268036]

Be 35 now, still loving DK. Even though the DKC games on Snes are terrible. Have a DK tattoo on my hairy leg, take this pic.....mario shorts on MFW.

[Anonymous No.1268063]

>>1267779