/vr/ - Retro Games

[Anonymous No.10759751]

Hey guys, this is Layne Floigley. You might know me as the lead singer of Floigan in Chains (formerly Alice in Chains). By the way, I'm dead. Anyway, I ran into a couple old buddies of mine while I was buying a pack of smokes at the Circle K last week: Floig Jones Jr. and Tyrese Floigson. We used to shoot junk and watch cartoons together n' stuff... it was real cool, man. By the way, I'm dead. Anyway, they were telling me how there was some anti-floiganism going down 'round these parts, and they said I should stop by and have a little chat with you guys. The first thing I want you to know is that I used to be a huge faggot. Everybody thought I was super chill and friendly n' stuff, even though all I ever did was sing about depression, drug use, and suicide. I also invited a guy on stage during one of my concerts and sucker punched him for giving a Nazi salute while surrounded by hundreds of fans and security guards because of how tolerant and brave I was n' stuff, even though I had no problem directly funding murder and child trafficking by buying massive amounts of black market opiates. I even let my girlfriend get fucked by a bunch of old men for heroin money even though I had millions of dollars, because I spent it all on heroin. By the way, she's dead. Anyway, the point is, I was a total douchenozzle n' stuff. Then, I found Floigan, and everything changed. Floigan made me realize how much of a retarded fag I had been. After undergoing floigalysis, I started changing myself for the better: I started regularly washing my bed linens, I got a Costco membership, I read Mein Kampf, I stopped shooting as much junk, and I even started working on the whole me being dead thing n' stuff. Look friend, the fact is... Floigan changed me, and Floigan can change you, too. Just stop like, being all hateful n' stuff. Open your heart and accept Floigan into your life. By the way, I'm Layne Floigley, and I'm dead.

[Anonymous No.10759760]

Holy fucking kek
10/10