/vr/ - Retro Games

>>9004043
Everyone knows that IGN gave God Hand a low score, but did you know the Associated Press gave it 1 out of 4 stars, less than the 2 out of 4 for Mortal Kombat Armageddon?

>>9004054
>game called bully
>immediately think of a mass shooting instead of bart simpson cartoon shit like atomic wedgies and slingshots
Did people actually assume rockstar was psychotic enough to just have you mowing down kids like gta?

>>9004085
Yes. They did release Manhunt before Bully as well.

>>9004054
The deal with Godhand is that it was memed by /v/ because "IGN bad Jap game good", the game is ok, a little above of the shovelware that the PS2 had but not bad as the IGN review and far from the master piece /v/ says it is.

Mandatory

PC Guide was a general PC magazine, it wasn't specifically aimed at PC gamers. This was still an atrocious review.

>>9004101
Was the reviewer a PC gamer? If so, I get it.

>>9004104
>Theme Park
>Bullfrog's 1988 title
What is fact checking

If you think those are bad, you should check out Famitsu reviews.

All those masterpiece action games you all love? Naayy, average stuff, it's okay best. But does it have RPG mechanics? Oh boy, 9/10, must buy. The memes that they only like RPGs are true.

>>9004112
>Cries Sawyer
is the one that gets me.

Whoever wrote that "review" had clearly never heard of Sawyer, let alone Transport Tycoon.

>>9004107
A lot of the reviews at the time said the same thing, it just wasn't a good replacement for proper aiming and looking. Also: that it was a shit game on top of it.

>>9004124
Greg hates car culture.

>>9004043
I never cared what the reviewers said about the games, I just checked the images

>>9004114
I always just assumed famitsu was some honorbu japanese thing where they automatically gave every game 40/40.

>>9004124
Crispin was an OG soiboy. His reviews were always like that.

>>9004098
God Hand is on par with the other Clover games, and probably one of the most unique games ever. Nothing is remotely like it. And high end players who have understood the system can make the combat flow pretty well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDMKSCZqb68

>remember a segment in a nintendo magazine where one of the editors would answer letters and just rip the piss out of them
>thought it was the funniest thing since sliced bread when i was eight
>looking back now realise he was basically comic book guy power tripping on kids who were too young to even pick up on his ebin sarcasm and wit

>>9004114
>>9004139
Both are true, although you don't tend to find weebs touting famitsu as a prestige mag much any more since they gave fucking nintendogs a 40

>>9004114
I wish there were adequate sources for Famitsu reviews with translations. So many people hold it in high regard but whenever you find something they actually reviewed it's just like every other game magazine.

They're all misguided, even the paid off ones.

>>9004190
Famitsu had a reputation for being a tough reviewer, but in recent years that's gone away. Also Nintendogs is in fact a really neat game and the sort of thing that should be praised.

>>9004210
Anon I HAD nintendogs it wasn't glaringly bad in any way but a perfect score? It was super shallow after about 30 mins you'd seen everything it had to offer I think even those desktop Petz games from the 90s were more in-depth doggo sims, plus Nintendo all but dropped the idea and never did anything with it

>>9004170
A lot of letters columns would take the piss out of some of the shit their readers sent in.

>>9004210
That's really because of their format. To get a 40/40 a game had to get lucky and just happen to catch four separate people on a good day. The same thing happened with Game Informer back in the day when they were using three reviewers per game. They'd each rate it out of 10 and then assign "the bottom line" score as an average. I think one and only game to ever get a 10/10 this way was Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. Once they switched to a single reviewer format the 10s started coming a lot more frequently.

>>9004207
it's literally pic related, you see it in here all the time too

>>9004170
>>9004237
British magazines go extra hard on this because they just try to hide it as "the bants"

>>9004114
like 80% of games get a 27-29/40 in famitsu, is insane

>>9004251
They're all employed from London too so it's that dry southern stroppiness with a middle class flavour.

>>9004170
>>9004237
That's because in the 90s the magazines were being written and edited by 20 year old stoners.

>>9004252
That's a tad bit too harsh, but at the same time not entirely unearned. The game has tons of charm, but the sad thing is that the gameplay itself is pretty boring. Lots of endless samey areas and combat that's not very engaging.

>>9004262
>ljidkijidk Sun

Did they legit not know about the Puyo Puyo series? Surely they'd know the damn name if they have a review copy right? This is some next level retardation.

Talking of British reviews, I am convinced the only reason they gave NASCAR '99 this 5/10 review is because they can't into turnleft. Though to be fair, NASCAR console games didn't peak until Thunder 2002-2004 happened.
>sauce: https://archive.org/details/official-playstation-magazine-uk-special-racing-special/page/n77/mode/2up?view=theater

>>9004262
That's just being fucking stupid.

>>9004262
lmao based

>>9004114
Famitsu isn't hated nearly enough.

>>9004272
Stock car racing does exist in the UK, but it is nowhere near as popular as NASCAR is in the US.

>>9004249
Yep. Famitsu reviews are nothing special, it’s just long running.

>>9004284
Famitsu was the gold standard up until the 2000's.

Also, what is it with OPSM and NFS2 (apart from not having cops?)

For those who don't know, this game is only like an hour long and the first two levels are piss easy, but the later levels are hard as fuck.

>>9004309
Gamest was the real enthusiasts magazine.

The push for 3D graphics at all costs did absolutely fucking terrible things to people's brains.

>>9004394
Gamest was arcades and Famitsu was cosnoles (with a tiny tiny bit on arcades). Arcade fans are going to be more dedicated than console fans given the types of games.

>>9004318
you can tell who played the game and who didnt

>>9004318
>only FIVE (5) levels
>in a 1992 game

That's what 128kb PRG gets you, fucking nothing when a tenth of it is eaten up by DPCM.

>>9004406
Megaman game reviews of the time will either be "ah this is timeless fun" or "fuck shit this is outdated trash like a SNES game" with little in between.

>>9004406
Why does games """""journalism""""" always attract the most worthless human beings?

>>9004043
but metal slug 3 is the second worst mainline metal slug game

>>9004501
that's still just plain wrong, there are 7 levels

>>9004043
Reviewers were mostly shit anyways, I never gave much of a shit. Demos were still a thing back then for a lot of shit, which was much more informative.

Anyways, good example is the common FPS stick layout and mapping we use now that reviewers called shit and would never catch on, even though it's default now.

The sooner you learn that 90% of "reviewers" are just retards with bias, the easier it is to ignore, it's mostly friends or relative on the publishers paycheck.

>>9004536
Same thing happened with Castlevania and Megaman again towards the end of the 2000's. Tons of critics who just didn't like them to begin with complaining that the formulas were outdated, oversaturated, and needed to go away. Now both series are basically fucking dead and fans are left starving or elevating spiritual successors to get that fix.

>>9004043
I doubt this reviewer even played Metal Slug 3.

>>9004262
LOL @ that name

>>9004054
>Calls God Hand tedious
>The one brawler where you can choose every single move in your combos, with absurd variety
Its just fun watching dumbasses out themselves as being filtered

>>9004098
Just like this shitter.

>>9004043
God what little shitheads video game "reviewers" were back then.
I wish companies actually sued them and fucked the cunts over in court.
Evil smarmy jew mutts.

>>9004539
You think that's bad? Just look at music journalism.

>>9004043
The xbox port of MS3 is easily my most played title on the system. This review almost feels fake and makes me wonder what kind of unloved fuck actually played it.

>>9004606
>igivanias
yeah they were pretty much right on that one.

>>9005138
No.

>>9004098
Somebody with some sense finally. Too bad you'll just be called out as being "bad at le hardcore ps2 gaem!" because godfags have no other argument to back up the quality of their gayme

>>9004558
Worst mainline MS game is still a 8/10 tho

>>9004043
I can just picture the Fred Durst looking Gen Xer dudebro who wrote this shit.

>>9004809
Please tell me more, you got me curious.

>>9005148
God Hand's my favorite game of all time and we can have a conversation about why I feel that way about it, but I feel like you'll probably get upset at me and the conversation won't be productive. Regardless, I'll ask before bed and maybe reply in the morning if I'm in the mood for it, what did you dislike about it?

>>9004272
When I look back on it, Officiual UK PSM was really bad. In some reviews you can outright tell they never even played the game, their review of Soul Reaver is a good indicator of this (every screenshot was from the Alpha build too).

>>9005148
You never played it.

>>9005303
Anthony Fantano made me hate music critics more than any writer in Rolling Stone or Spin.

>>9004101
Bahahaha this is the greatest

>>9004251
>>9004256
kek yes that was exactly what i had in mind. i might try and dig some of those mags out the attic later

>>9004104
>more scientific... and less fun
>...
Even back then they were writing like twitter trannies

>>9004210
Famitsu has always ALWAYS been garbage
Mega Man X? 26/40
Dragon Quest JARPIG SHIT???? 40/40 BEST GAME ALL YEARS SUGOIIIIII!!!!!

2 nukes weren't enough
Fuck nips and their shit taste in games
Unironically worse than IGN or Gamespot

Yo wtf is going
Fuck off jannies

>>9004210
Famitsu has always ALWAYS been garbage
Mega Man X? 26/40
Dragon Quest JARPIG SHIT???? 40/40 BEST GAME ALL YEARS SUGOIIIIII!!!!!

2 nukes weren't enough
Fuck nips and their shit taste in games
Unironically worse than IGN or Gamespot

>>9004043
Review seems to be accurate criticisms of Metal Slug 3

>>9005502
Yep. They've been faggots and fart-huffers for a long time. SJW movement didn't come from a vacuum.

>>9004101
They were right, console FPS controls suck.

>>9005502
Can't go one fucking thread with you people, jesus christ.

>>9005616
feel like that image will out a lot of underaged anons, people forget that no one thought fps belonged on consoles and even goldeneye was memed on for having autoaim

>>9005616
they're ok, not everything has to be wasd + mouse to be enjoyable.

>>9005606
Jeremy Parish

Do we have a jap mod here or something?

>>9005618
Cope

>>9005605
b8

>>9005663
i've found jannies most often suddenly remember global 3 when you use no no words for dog eaters for some reason

There should be 2 kinds of reviews for each game: Genre fan, and non-genre fan.

Both are important. The first gives the review the game deserves, while the other gives you an idea of what you're getting into from the perspective of someone who was in the same shoes as you. Each review should be marked by one of these two labels.

>>9004085
It's an American paper. They tend to associate bullying with potential shootings in the US due to the fact it's become a genuine worry for them.

>>9005663
lmao based jannie. Nobody wants to see you autistically rage like a tard

>>9004054
They were both right, godhand is pretty shit

>>9005681
Do game reviews even fucking matter now? I'm that much of a dinosaur when it comes to modern gaming it really confuses me how everything is either an indie effort people just download off Steam or a AAA disaster that is released incomplete and is distributed mostly digitally. I still find it weird PS4 games don't come with manuals.

>>9005728
t. Button masher

>>9005727
t. janny
Have sex

>>9004272
To be fair NASCAR is very much a US thing. It's the same reason why you'll generally find shit like NFL games or in certain regions Baseball games will always just get middling scores as most people don't really give a shit. (obviously a bit different with baseball as Japan, Taiwan, places in South America etc seem to love it)

>>9004054
>all heck breaks loose
do really

>>9004795
Did you not notice it back then or were you just not reading these reviews?

>>9005223
i never got the hype for gunstar heroes and metal slug, they're just so slow and clunky compared to contra

>>9005759
For me it's the big feel of chaotic destruction that both games are able to convey. Contra feels like little cap guns going off in comparison.

>>9005759
Gunstar controls like a dream.
Metal Slug controls like shit because it was initially designed to be a tank game and after it got bad reception at a trade show they put in Marco and Tarma there haphazardly so they don't control very smoothly.

>>9005771
This is categorically untrue.

>Janny still seething and blocking my posts because I called him out multiple times exposing his butthurt lmao
Remember that YWNBAW

>>9005782
Fuck off back to /v/. And no, I'm not a jannie but this shit belongs on that fucking hovel.

>>9005303
The American music press spewed endless vitriol at Queen, Rolling Stone in particular called them the world’s first fascist rock band.

>>9005730
>Do game reviews even fucking matter now?
Idk about others, but to me they do.
>I still find it weird PS4 games don't come with manuals.
Same. I hate what gaming has become.

>>9005730
Kind of. most of the big websites basically stagnated around a small group of power users that have used the sites daily since 2002, that and shitposters who will come in to flame a controversial review. Maybe a couple like IGN and kotaku manage to match a single influencer in totality. The closest thing to old media that's made a successful transition is stuff like digital foundry, youtube channels with a handful of personalities that are nominally an editorial staff.

>>9005816
that sounds like robert cuckgau

asshole called jimi hendrix a porch monkey and was endlessly butthurt that people liked black sabbath

>>9005730
>I still find it weird PS4 games don't come with manuals
Apparently they still get them in Africa. Was talking to an African anon on /v/ in one thread that was shocked and appalled that the biggest markets in the world didn't get them. He was showing off pictures of his game manuals that looked properly legit.

>>9006084
Based African.

>>9006173
Can't even remember what country it was which annoys me. Just remember it was one of the African countries most people don't even think of. And they get full colour manuals akin to what we used to get. He showed off his Mario Odyssey one as well as another game I can't remember.

>>9004252
Colours = bad! How far we've come!

>>9006224
For whatever reason UK journos really had it in for MM Legends. As a kid growing up in the 90s with no concept of the NES games it led me to believe MM was a dumpster fire series.

>>9006261
Also growing up in the UK I always remember the mags comparing Mega Man to the Police Academy films, in that there were too many and they were mostly shit.

>>9004139
That's current Famitsu, they give 30+/40 scores to like half of the new releases. Old Famitsu gave Mega Man X 26/40, Contra III 28/40, etc.

You can notice the change when you look at their 40/40s, no game before OoT (in 1998!) got a perfect score.

>>9006261
British journalism is an absolute dumpster fire

>>9006390
Being from Liverpool you don't have to tell me twice.

>>9004043
Metal Slug 3 is bullet hell tier bullshit galore designed to suck your quarters away from you, based review.

>>9006507
>suck your quarters
Who the fuck is playing this shit at an arcade
Play it on a collection disc or emulator like the rest of us

>>9006507
Dumb faggot doesn't realize this dumb faggot is reviewing the home console port that lets you restart at the beginning of each mission after you die upon beating the prior level.

Plus even the arcade version had difficulty adjustment, you dip.

>>9005339
funnily enough my memory of PSX mags was that they were more open minded

the UK tendie mags were run like a stalinist newsletter, there was never a single unorthodox take on anything. if it wasn't a nintendo EAD flagship they weren't fussed. i remember getting tired of the constant ocarina dicksucking every other page before the game was even released

>>9004101
This is still accurate, but aim assist has been added to modern games so kids don't realise how bad it is.

Have critics and audiences always existed on two different planes?

>>9004043
That MS3 review is pretty much on point. Levels are way too long and tedious. Besides its the 4th game in a row using the same engine, mechanics and sprites

>>9007435
Probably just because i have played so much of it, but takes like this feel alien as fuck to me. Only section that maybe could be shortened are the 2 spaceship sections and the clone ending. I only really see this being an issue if you are playing on highest difficulty, which most never will bother with. Mission 5 could probably have been split into 2 however.

>>9004124
Having played the game, I can understand their frustration. The aiming isn't terrible, but the fire button is mapped to the face buttons instead of the shoulder buttons, meaning you can't aim and shoot in a natural way.

>>9004098
lol at the contrarian faggots coping with ''you were filtered''
Reddit Hand is a mediocre game and not even in the top 10 beat'em up PS2 games

>>9007312
I remember one Nintendo magazine at the time was doing a top ten stealth games chart because MGS had just released, so they of course made it multiplatform and placed it I think 7th, entirely so they could go on about how it wasn't that great and placed Goldeneye at 1. It's hilarious how petty that shit got.
I'm sure that was the same magazine that used the terms Phony Greystation and Sega Sadturn.

>>9007392
Always. One is getting paid and one is paying.

>>9004085
Yes. There was a ton of controversy before the game even came out cause of retards.

>>9004262
Someone post the comic.

>>9004043
cool thread anon

>>9004043
>>9004054
>NOOO YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO PUBLISH AN OPINION PIECE ON THE GAME THAT ISN'T ON LINE WITH GENERAL CONSENSUS, PREFERABLY A GENERAL CONSENSUS ON A MONGOLIAN ANONYMOUS RETRO BOARD QUATER CENTURY LATER
Op is a retard.

Let's invert the thread theme for a moment.

>>9007247
I'm pretty sure anon was aware it's a console port

>>9008612
>eminently fair
What the fuck

>>9008604
Imagine missing the point this hard because you can only post in memethink.

for those who can't see the text they gave bubsy 3d a 93%

>>9004539
this is a little off base but any IRL community centered about interest in vidya tends to attract the most adult baby type of people ever. It's like the same people who unironically fill their house with Marvel movie merch.

>>9004312
This review is correct though. The first NFS had better car physics than the NFS2. If you think about what made NFSII so memorable it’s in order: the god tier menu music, the menu in general, the narrator, the cars, the fact that you could break 200mph and it actually felt fast. The actual quality of the handling and racing itself was garbage. If you were expecting a good racing game you would have been disappointed

>>9008632
Maybe all the people who cry about this game are actually just bad at it.

>>9008056
Rather, critics think they have a better understanding of the medium than the average consumer, but in reality it’s not really true.

>>9008672
You mean man-children. Adult babies are....different.

Pretty much every 2D game released in the late 90s was shat on by reviewers just for being 2D

>>9008929
>Pretty much every 2D game released in the late 90s was shat on by reviewers just for being 2D

That's totally wrong though. Most game reviewers praised them. The exceptions are what is being pointed out here. The core gamers liked 2D games, but it was the casual and outsiders who didn't like them. I mean, Symphony was on every game mag at some point.

>>9005305
The game was really hard and it really frustrated me and i dont like when i die in games because i should never die in games because im so good at games and gene isnt funny and spanking women is problematic and themes of stereotypical racism are never funny and it just makes me feel bad because i know my brain wont ever function well enough to let me beat it.

>>9008949
Most magazines back in the day bemoaned anything 2D.

>>9009087
Most magazines that I read I should add.

>>9008929
Not gaming, but to add to the "2D vs 3D in the late 90s" conversation, in Digimon's first 3 seasons, there was a clear bias towards the "leaders" of the teams and their Digimon, where during some evolution sequences they'd have 3D animation, while the rest of the team were 2D. Back in the day we thought these animations were the shit.
But now looking back, they were just shit, while the 2D animated ones aged well. Everyone was just following the 3D trend and hyping them up.

Some of these 3D ones are: WereGarurumon, MetalGreymon, MetalGarurumon, WarGreymon, Paildramon, Imperialdramon, Imperialdramon Fighter Mode, Dukemon, SaintGargomon.

>>9008662
>beautiful graphics
jesus christ the 3d craze really made people retarded

>>9009091
>>9008929
Example:

2D Taomon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QcEGYZnkgE
3D MegalGrowmon (skip to the middle of the video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6ckDRGHjLM

>>9009165
It's not much different nowadays, just different crazes and trends.
I think people hype up what they think looks "futuristic" and don't really stop and think about if they actually want this.

Remember "hover boards"? Which neither hover, nor are boards? People looked at Back to the Future 2, and wanted the future they were promised 2015 would be like, so they deluded themselves with these.

In terms of gaming, realism and VR are what people have a craze about, because they're futuristic. But realism sucks ass and looks fucking ugly. "Instead of using a creative art style, let's limit ourselves to what we literally see every day. All of us. Collectively. Barely any games will have a unique look, because that's the future."

>>9009008
But it isn't hard or funny

Ever watch a James Bond movie? They're basically Doom.

>>9009207
Yes it is.

>>9009204
>Barely any games will have a unique look, because that's the future
tru dat, i sometimes wonder if were ever going to have an another video game industry crash

>>9009210
There is nothing wrong with this article. "FPS" didn't exist then, the name of the genre was Doom, which is what the article is referring of. Not Doom as a game, but as a genre. "The plot is basically Doom" just means expect as much story as in any other game of the genre.

>>9008632
It’s fair only if you’d been playing literally nothing but the first three Wizardry scenarios for the preceding six years.

>>9009210
>>9009234
>pierce bronson

>>9009165
I seriously can't understand it, reading this shit doesn't correspond to my lived reality. I specifically remember the first time I saw a polygonal game and thought "this looks beautiful", and it was Soul Calibur in 1999 (or 2000, don't remember exactly when I saw it).

>>9004165
God that looks so kino. I need to stop procrastinating gitting gud at this game.

>>9009234
It's funny that no one ever came up with a better name for "roguelikes".

>>9009469
There's tutorials, but some key things to understand:

1. Every combo that enemies do has a weak point where if you attack it stuns them or launches them. each combo is unique and you just have to learn all of them.

2. there's several undocumented moves you get for free that the gaem doesn't tell you about but they're useful. The duck sweep is with you the whole game and counters high attacks.

3. The game is not that balanced for high level play. That's what "no cheesing" means. You can easily stun-lock enemies and completely dominate them. Even without that, the player is often launching and guardbreaking enemies so that they rarely are doing their full attacks.

4. enemies only have invincibility frames for getting up or going down. Most people assume they have more than they actaully do. You can use this to do longer combos.

5. A simple few hits then kick is often a better combo than just mashing attack.

>>9005616
playing with mouse aiming is way too easy

>>9004170
nintendo power used to be rude as fuck to some of the kids who wrote in

>>9004043
It was considered cool to be a contrarian game journalist in the 00's
Chumps had to give high scores to everything to please the announcers, but the semi famous celeb critics prided themselves in finding ways to obliterate a game's score and delighted in the online controversy they caused.

>>9004406
journos hated sotn because it was 2d and didn't advance the medium as a result.

>>9009772
Vast majority of reviewrs in Japan and outside loved SotN. A handful of very misguided people were critical of it. And for some reason it was almost always the british reviewrs who were oddball contrarians. I think that's the second british article bashing Symphony.

>>9009740
What a dumb fucking comic.

>>9009469
>kino
You ain't gonna make it.

>>9004043
>**** off granddad.

Reminds me of how white liberals spew le boomer meme as a generic NPC response. Now THIS was foreshadowing.

>>9009932
>le boomer
>NPC
Fuck off, teenager.

>>9009474
Or metroidvanias

>>9010015
Can you blame them? There's no specific thing you can point to in them that is unique to them.
Non-linearity? Backtracking? Exploration? Power-ups and areas locked behind them? Hidden areas?
It's the combination of these that makes these games, rather than any individual aspect.

>>9010085
>Can you blame them? There's no specific thing you can point to in them that is unique to them.

It was meant originally to literally only refer to the Sub-series in the Castlevania series that had open ended level design. As in about 7 games total. Instead fools used it for every game.

>>9004256
Except Future publishing was based in Bath....

No American can ever criticise British game journalism American mags have some of the most threadbare asinine reviews and retina damaging high contrast lay outs. Any Future publishing magazine was better than any game mag from the states

>>9009772
desu people do act like SOTN cured cancer when i think it was a very flawed game

>>9009772
>>9009840
British journos hated it. American ones praised it.

>>9009772
Motherfuckers like this are the reason traditional animation is basically dead in the US. Disregarding actual technical skill and design choices to cry that it's not the hot new thing and needs to stop existing because of that.

>>9010206
What game was that? Clock Tower A struggle within?

>>9010226
That's it, yeah

British gaming mags were full of horrible attempts at being funny

>>9010206
>Disregarding actual technical skill and design choices to cry that it's not the hot new thing and needs to stop existing because of that
Hate this so much. Japan is the only one making games and shows with a soul.
Japan is the only one consistently making great 2D animated shows and movies, while the US is busy making 3D movies with the same horrid play-doh style, like Turning Red.
Nearly all games coming out of the US are following the same trend of hyper-realistic open-world "mature" story crap (i.e. stuff that takes itself too seriously and lacks fun), with no well-designed iconic-looking characters. They have to rely on the faces of well-known actors for you to remember their characters. Giancarlo Esposito, Keanu Reeves, Michael Mando, Ellen Page. While Japan, especially Nintendo, makes the best designed characters and isn't afraid to experiment and try wacky game ideas (which would be called "immature" and "for-kids" in the US). I have literally never played a Zelda game, yet I've known who Link was for a long time, and could identify him no matter what game or art piece he's in.

>>9004284
>>9004114
That's not how Famitsu works. How it works is that they give anything that buys ad spots in their magazine a high score. That's it. Nobody in Japan takes their scores seriously because everyone knows that.

The actual content of the reviews is usually pretty accurate though, and having multiple reviewers go over the same title means multiple perspectives which can be interesting or even funny at times when one of the reviewers is an obvious outlier rating the game way higher/lower than the others. But nobody bothers to actually translate the reviews and retarded westerners only look at the scores.

>>9009772
>>9004406
2D vs 3D in 2001: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlLD6Y-bqRo

>>9010490
wow that 3D is some dog shit

And the regular animation is better than most of the stuff on TV right now

>>9010496
Back then we deluded ourselves into thinking this is amazing, simply because it's 3D.
Idk if you're familiar with Digimon, but like I said in >>9009091, the ones in 3D were the leaders' Digimon, so they were the ones getting "special treatment".

>>9010519
I'm not but yeah, I can see that happening.

If you watch anime from that time period you can see a lot of that shit too, Konpeki no Kantai starts to use 3D graphics and digital art midway through and the drop in quality is jarring as hell, but people back then thought it was an improvement.

>>9010158
jesus lol

>>9008762
Unlrss he played the japanese version of it then no.
The original is bs even by Wizardy fan standards.
Fun but extremely bullshit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLDVRMN_FNc

>>9011295
I fucking love George Wood. Genuinely two decades ahead of his time with the Lara Croft breast cancer storyline.

>>9004054
Wait, MK Armageddon had a kart racing game?

>>9006193
>Can't even remember what country it was
I bet it was Chad :^)

>>9010275
Ellen Page was in a French game to be fair so it's not just the US.

>>9010275
>Japan is the only one making games and shows with a soul.
Stop embarrassing yourself, it's flat corporate trash as with anywhere else.

>>9010138
This is basically my view anytime I see Americans criticse anything foreign.

>>9011295
>muh realism

>>9010015
I prefer the term blaster masterish

>>9010015
>>9011608
Willyvania became the preferred nomenclature fairly recently actually.

>>9011537
Don't confuse "x game has a soul" with "y corp has a soul".

>>9011328
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmVKsr4GMdY
The world needs George.

>>9011537
No anon, he's right.
Fuck off.

>>9011624
>>9011678
You guys are hilarious.

>>9011702
Thanks, but that's only because you're easy to make fun of.

>>9011702
It's spelled 'right'

>>9010275
Spoken like someone who knows absolutely nothing about Japan

>>9011760
>>9011702
>non-replies that don't address anything
Obviously you are to be taken seriously.

>>9004170
Good. Kids deserve to be shat on.

>>9010138
I can’t take British magazines seriously when they try and talk like a chav from the East End of London.

>>9009906
When did the word kino start triggering people?

>>9009663
Difficulty should come from the game and mechanics themselves, not from forcing handicaps on the player.

>>9012625
People are getting tired of you /tv/ faggots spilling over. Most obnoxious board on this website

>>9004054
Who owns these media conglomerates? I wonder if it is pay for reviews. Nah, they wouldn't do it again, and again, and again.

>>9008052
The Mexican Nintendo mag I grew up with used to do insane levels of cope around the N64/GameCube era. I remember once around the sunset years of the N64's lifespan they published a pie chart demonstrating how well Nintendo was doing on the market, and it had Nintendo taking up only like a quarter of it AT BEST, and the other 75% was simply labeled Others kek. I'll see if I can find it.

I love how many shitters on /vr/ out themselves as casuals/zoomers when games like Godhand are mentioned. This board is fucking dead.

>>9012625
Nobody likes faggots

>>9012492
I don't think any British mags ever did that, they read too clearly as middle class prats.

>>9011752
Japan pumps out shit and you have to be deluded to not see that.

>>9012775
Ah yes the very hardcore and skill intensive single player beat em up known for its legendary tourny scene and expansive metagame.
You people slobber over these fucking weebbait games like GH or DMC because they look like a anime fight scene. You can beat every one of them with default attacks. You're literally masturbating over your ability to combo a training mode AI, and calling people casuals when you couldnt even finish higher than dead last in fucking Fortnite or CoD lobby, much less a Tekken or Quake tourney.

>>9012824
Of the games you mentioned, only Tekken is respectable, and while it's a hard game, good part of it is because it's very unfriendly to newbies and the move list size is deceptive. FPS is inherently a brainlet genre, and fucking Fortnite? Am I supposed to take you seriously?
Not retro, but I played Overwatch casually for a while and consistently had to carry everyone to victory. Zoomer games are easy as fuck, embarrassing post, apply yourself.

>>9004262
Funniest thing I've seen on /vr/.

>>9004267
No, it's not. Remember that one boss that you circle strafe and shoot. That fight was legendary.

>>9012625
to be fair, the proper term is ludo, but either way idk
kino rarely gets used compared to "zoomer" or "reddit" or whatnot so i doubt it's just complaining about buzzwords

>>9012868
So Ocarina of time has so many things to do that break up gameplay whereas legends is the same thing all the game.

>>9013289
fetch quests, bow minigame...the list goes on

>>9006309
>Kid Icarus: Uprising
I could understand most of the entries or give them the benefit of the doubt until that one. If that game wasn't basically a 3DS launch game there's no way in hell it would have been given anything more than an "ok" score.

>>9004101
I still remember getting to play a round of Halo for the first time and getting a series of headshots with the pistol. After briefly thinking I was good at the game, I eventually came to the conclusion that it was in fact just bullshit. It still is!

>>9009210
That's a pretty great preview though. The game is exactly as described, right down to the dodgy framerate.

>>9014237
Do keyboard fags really

>>9004252
The good old days when Megaman was the industry equivalent to CoD

>>9004318
>The score would've been higher if it wasn't so easy
What the fuck I always thought this game was pretty difficult, am I that bad

>>9005303
Not many game journalists make or tried to make game but music critics are 100% of the time failed musicians, which makes them extremely bitter and jealous of musicians who actually made it

>>9008929
False, only retards shat on 2d games for being 2d, even back then people knew it was a brainlet take, games like SotN or Abe's Odyssey got a shitload of praise.
>>9004606
>both series are basically fucking dead
Mega Man 11 came out a couple of years ago didn't it?

>>9004207
im near fluent in moon and famitsu reviews are no better than anything in the west. like this anon says
>>9010479 its advertisement and nobody here take the scores seriously. in japan (and korea as well for reference) its common place for game publishers to buy good reviews as part of their marketing and all consumers are aware of the practice. that said, the reviews still serve a purpose in that they introduce the game and its mechanics to readers.

>>9012824
I'd wreck u at gitaroo man. Try me.

>>9004721
Does not matter how many moves are there, it's the mechanics and the movement what makes this game tedious.

>>9014318
I never read game publications really before Y2K, so I didn't even know that sentiment existed. Seems like some sort of industry mandated opinion for shills. In the real world people were being blown away by games like Starcraft, Metal Slug, SotN, etc.

>>9014295
That pretty much explains why so many of them rag on metal and prog but masturbate to shitty indie and punk

>>9004043
Why has gaming never gotten the same “auteur critic” boom that film got? Even the big ones like Seanbaby don’t really compare to Gene Shalit, much less Kael or Canby.

>>9015765
Because gaming usually filters out such turgid cocksuckers.

>>9004606
in fairness you had megaman X, zero, ZX, battle network & it's sequel series all basically coming out at the same time almost weeks to months apart. as >>9014275 said megaman was basically CoD with how rapidly they were coming out at the time.

i've never heard anyone trash castlevaina outside of OoE or judgment.

i however think metroidvanias are boring

>>9012824
>brings up fucking fortnite in a discussion about good retro games
Yeah im so upset im not the best at squishing dog turds between my hands.

>>9004043
Spoony’s Ultima Underworld II retrospective. Holy motherfucking cringe

>>9016028
Modern e-celebs is like shooting fish in a barrel. We're talking about actual reviews that got printed in actual magazines or newspapers.

>>9005303
Look up Christgau, the worst critic who ever lived

>>9008949
Nah it's right. Game magazines are littered with bad/indifferent reviews for SotN just because it was 2D. Nintendo mags in particular liked to call it an outdated SNES game while praising Castlevania 64.

>>9016245
>Game magazines are littered with bad/indifferent reviews for SotN just because it was 2D.

Find these things then? The bad reviews were the total outliers and are highlighted because they're so off base. Most of the reviews were very good to excellent.

https://www.mobygames.com/game/castlevania-symphony-of-the-night/mobyrank
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castlevania%3A_Symphony_of_the_Night#Reception

>Nintendo mags in particular liked to call it an outdated SNES game while praising Castlevania 64.

That was a single British N64 mag that ran a preview of C64 while bashing Symphony. It's the outlier so it gets highlighted online.

>>9016245
Only those shit UK mags which we established aren't even worth using as toilet paper.

>>9010275
Muh quality anime.

>>9004262
lmao

>>9011295
Kind of bizarre that in the whole review, he doesnt mention the fact that the entire castle is connected and you get abilities to traverse it. The way he presents it, the uninformed would think it's exactly like previous Castlevanias, ie. a level-based platformer.

>>9014210
it's good you fag

>>9004124
Fuck. Dragon Valor is a good game.

>SOTNfags
that game is the definition of style over substance, 20 mins in and you're practically immortal and it becomes an awkward platformer. also bishi alucard sucks

>>9016253
I remember GamePro having the top 20 games of all time during the PS1/N64 Era and SotN made it up there. Street Fighter II being the top spot on the other hand.

>>9016217
Christgau is the prototypical Pitchfork reviewer; smug, snarky, praises shit like Pavement and Archers of Loaf. I’ll give him this though, he was willing to see that Radiohead weren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

>>9017234
christgau hated radiohead because they weren't black enough. i'm not even paraphrasing. that's a broken clock striking twice at best.

>>9005730
What’s funny is that so many are just playing older games now versus new AAA shit that old reviews have become evergreen content…

>>9005731
You defensive fanboys are starting to make me loathe this game.

>>9010275
>"Japan is the only one consistently making great 2D animated shows and movies, while the US is busy making 3D movies with the same horrid play-doh style, like Turning Red."
for every 1 good anime there's 5 or 10 where it's all the same boring shonen shit, waifu-bait "cute girls doing cute thing" shit or isekai shit. that's pretty soulless.

>While Japan, especially Nintendo, makes the best designed characters and isn't afraid to experiment and try wacky game ideas (which would be called "immature" and "for-kids" in the US). I have literally never played a Zelda game, yet I've known who Link was for a long time, and could identify him no matter what game or art piece he's in.
nintendo pretty much makes infinite money from manchildren that they get away with doing the same (if not similar) scummy practices that the very same manchildren crucify other triple A publishers in the west for doing the exact same thing. like for fucks sake anon mainline pokemon games were basically one step above sports games like madden until arceus came out. how can you say this shit with a straight face?

>>9014289
No. Three of the reviewers obviously played the game for 10 minutes.

>>9017336
Nintendo gets criticized, the problem is, their critics still buy their shit anyways, like Bethesda fans
See: Switch online expansion

>>9012852
From a game design perspective you'd want to reconcile a low barrier for entry and a high skill cap. So any idiot can pick up the game but few can master it. I know that zoomer games are great with respect to low barrier for entry, but I can't speak for their skill cap.

>>9009902
>t. "journalist"

>>9012824
The top dogs consistently winning tournaments in fortnite are ex-CS, TF2 or Quake players. Get your fingers off tyrone's ass and remove goldberg's dildo out of yours already. You're not even funny anymore.

>>9015794
>they trashed OoE but not Portrait for its unstability and convoluted mazes or DoS for how fuckig boring it is
What the fuck. If anything OoE's early game was a return to the classic form with semi-linear but really tough gameplay that incentivized careful play and correct utilization of tools, equipments, resources and your mana bar to advance. I understand Judgement because its a poor 3D fighting game with awful designs that are like hilariously edgy comedies of existing characters but come the fuck on.

>>9009902
It's dumb because its accurate?

>>9017242
Christgau’s like that with a lot of artists. It’s as if doing anything beyond what The Rolling Stones did in the early 70s is too white and aristocratic for him

>>9010085
"Action adventure" to contrast with "action platformer" is what we called them. "Metroidvania" didn't start showing up until I think COTM. Nobody called SOTN a Metroidvania when it was new for obvious reasons.

>>9016253
>That was a single British N64 mag that ran a preview of C64 while bashing Symphony.
Here's that preview.

>>9018820
It's the same retard us vs them rhetoric that the youth have been raised on, isn't it. It doesn't even make sense for Castlevania 64 fans to hate on Symphony of the Night, the existence of one does not threaten the other.

>>9017752
It's dumb because it's shit.

>>9018879
0.02€ were deposited in your kotaku account for this post

>>9005730
Reviews have never mattered. Everyone gets their opinions from word-of-mouth through their friends or from first-hand experience.

>>9009204
No, what people want is for their fantasies to look as real as reality. I have yet to find a convincing dragon.

>>9016217
>>9017234
>>9017242
>>9017858
>>9005893
This dude sounds like a turbofaggot.

>>9019026
Up to you if you want to keep defending your shitlib webcomic.

>>9010158
No one in the UK called Hamad (lol) ever spoke like this.

>>9010135
Just as bad.

>>9019704
He is, pretty much. It's worth noting that at least half of the New York scene hated him, most famously Lou Reed

>>9011295
>GITCY

Why is this so comfy

>>9019767
I don't have to defend shit. I don't care who did it.
Ignore the messenger, specially if someone is slandering them. Look at the picture.
If a clown says the image is real, you don't ignore the claim that you can verify with your own eyes just because a clown said so.

>>9004262
Imagine being a game journalist and somehow being unaware that the Japanese alphabet exists.

>>9016028
Yeah he is a complete and utter retard and you still have morons parroting his opinions.

Polish game reviewers were bad at this. Throughout the entire 90's they had a bad tendency to praise every game made by a Polish developer, no matter how mediocre it actually was. (Except for the utterly terrible ones, when they could no longer pretend it was good.)
See pic related. It was an objectively crappy beat-em-up, but journos still loved it, just because it was set in Poland and the characters swore in Polish.

>>9020502
People can be really blinded by national pride sometimes. At least Polish game development would shape up over the years, they tried, put in effort, and learned.

>>9004262
What's with the name?

>>9009740
>the 20s that game you like is gambling

>>9024280
Not really in line with what the comic is saying. Its saying that shill reviews were popular in the 90s, angry reviews inspired by AVGN were popular in the 00, and wokeshit was everywhere in the 10s (and still going on).
Condemnation of a trend (that is objectively factual) isn't in line with that.

>>9007247
>console port that lets you restart at the beginning of each mission after you die upon beating the prior level
That's the Xbox version, the PS2 version being reviewed is just a straight up port.

>>9009840
I remember Hyper magazine giving 2D games good scores back. I think people that played a lot arcade games the novelty of 3d had worn off by then so were able to give 2D games a shot but for some people the ps1 was their first look at 3D so 2D just looked old in comparison for the next 2 years.
If you have been played 2D games since 1985 even wolf 3d seems real good even if it is pretty bad really after the first level.

I remember official N64 magazine giving Buck Bumple a bad score saying the frame rate was terrible and its blurry. I played it recently for a laugh and it runs pretty smooth. has a huge draw distance and the shooting is the same as starfox 64. I think its one of the top games on the system.

>>9004124
Golden eye has the same controls anyway if you change them which most people did back then.

>>9024595
>saying the frame rate was terrible and its blurry.

but the frame rate is crap, the draw distance is a joke, and it's blurry. It's Buck Bumble in the land of Fog.