/vr/ - Retro Games

nice tranny pills

>>8606269
>What, I need three hands for this thing?
How many times has this particular joke been made?

Vortigaunts are not allowed on 4channel

>>8606269
Literally in every manual it tells you how your supposed to hold it

n-yes

>look at keyboard
>more than ten keys
Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?

>Hurp derp let's all talk about console related stuff not hte games guys, I'm retarded

>>8606269
You're supposed to shove the controller up your ass. Duh.

>>8606269
The bottom hand is supposed to be your second right, retard.

Could OP be any more zoomer?

I honestly want to know what about the N64 controller makes people desperately want it to be a meme. It's just a controller released in 1996, relax.

>>8606269
>not pulling your foreskin over the analog stick and controlling by moving your erect dick
NGMI

>>8606513
It's not the Playstation controller, and people below a certain age can't deal with it, because every controller is the Playstation controller now.
The N64 controller is at worst unorthodox, and susceptible to breakage. It's perfectly usable, and comfortable even.

>>8606513
a good amount of people confused by it are born after 2000.

>>8606670
Or just like the later 90's.
The idea that a big part of games involved learning new control schemes was huge until like the early to mid 00's, and then just wasn't. You had Nintendo controllers, which weren't exactly like Sega or Playstation controllers, and then you had joysticks, PC games that didn't necessarily have mouse control or controller support as a default, and things like light guns and driving wheels which still had a pretty big niche from the arcades. Everyone just took that as a given.
It was probably around the Wii era when the idea that anything that wasn't the basic dualshock design wasn't a "real controller" really got hammered into people's psyches.

>>8606670
>zoomer/late millenial grows up with the PS1/PS2 controller as their accepted standard
>look back at old N64 they know little about
>"lol this controller looks dumb! how are you even supposed to hold it bro??"
>don't even try using it
>proceed to obsessively shit on it on /vr/

>>8606273
Literally since the N64 was unveiled. It was ran into the ground by the time it was released. Fast forward 25 years and here we are.

I'm holding one right now, it's a comfy controller, reminds me of when my auntie sucked me off and I didn't know what she was doing

>>8606269
You were supposed to play with a friend: You used the right buttons and stick while he used the left directional buttons and jacked you off with his right hand. I thought the N64 was a console made with sleepovers in mind.

>>8606269

yes, you need to hold the middle part with your dick

>>8607930
>A man of class
I see you've played goldeneye browneye before.

>>8606670
Born in 88. It's just a shit controller mate.

>>8606290
Just grow more fucking fingers retard it’s easy

>>8606269
No, you want your other right hand on the control stick.

>>8606269
>pills on table
HRT?

>>8606745
I owned an n64 at the time and never heard this joke until today. I pity all of you who grew accustomed to it. I laughed my ass off just now

>>8606269
no

How many games actually used that dpad for anything important?
>kirby 64
>mischief makers
>Killer Instinct
I draw a blank after that

>>8606269
Which games need 3 hands ?

>>8608316
some of the minigames in pokemon stadium you fucking idiot

>>8608473
Wow I forgot about that entirely

>>8606269

>>8608316
All fps games on the system
Bangai-o

>>8606273
>>8606745
So why are you still seething about it?

>>8608316
Do any games use the left shoulder button? For anything?

>>8608316
Pokemon Puzzle League and Bust a Move

>>8608606
Isn't that the minimap on/off button in OoT?

Hilarious and original XD

>>8608473
>>8608478
You also have to use the dpad if you play the Pokemon games in Stadium. Really you use the dpad throughout most of Stadium including in the menus

>39 replies to a bait thread

>>8606269
I remember when this controller was revealed in one of the magazines I was reading at the time, I was a bit confused, but ultimately I ended up stoked because the article about it hyped the shit out of its possibilities (it was an official tendie mag, so makes sense). They made it out to be really versatile, allowing for different ways to play games, fitting for the dawn of a new era or something like that.

Well, at least thanks to that article, I knew how to actually use the thing once I got my hands on it.

>go to friend's house to play Star Fox 64 when it came out
>see his older sister playing it
>she is holding the left-most handle and stretching her thumb all the way to the middle to control the ship
>mfw

>>8609056
People still don’t know how to use them because they are dumb as dog shit

>>8609065
Almost no games used the setup in the middle, right? Off the top of my head, I can only think of that Ekans minigame in Pokemon Stadium.

>>8609072
pretty much every fps has it as an option, along with Sin and Punishment, and Bangaioh.

Worst part of the left side of the controller is that most games don't even allow you to use the dpad even for menus
And if you've got a good springy joystick it can get really fucking annoying to use in menus

>>8609075
Huh, you're right, I vaguely recall it as an option in Perfect Dark, which actually makes sense.

>>8609065
I'm not really sure what there is that's not to get. Do people try to reach all of the buttons at once or something, not understanding that there are at least two distinct "modes" the controller is supposed to be used in?".

>>8609078
Yeah, there are a good number of games that just annoyingly didn't factor in d-pad, when it would have been convenient. Yoshi's Story for one

>Star Soldier: Vanishing Earth
>you can set control to either stick or d-pad
>you have to enter the options menu to toggle this
>you can only enter the options menu from the title screen, not during gameplay
Literally why?

>>8609084
You should be aware of this since you’re on /vr/
People are stupid

>>8606580
>comfortable
Shitty centre of gravity, non rubber coated analog stick, can't press C and R buttons while playing FPS games, it's one of the worst fifth gen controllers.

>>8606269
we get it it sucks, just use a gamecube controller already the joke isn't funny anymore

>>8609129
>gaycube
Even fewer buttons and awful as fuck C Stick.

>>8609116
>can't press C and R buttons while playing FPS games

>>8609147
Remember how you could only cycle through your weapons with a single button in goldeneye?

>>8609147
>>8609230
And Turok and Quake had really, really awkward controls. You didn't get many buttons at your disposal.

>>8609064
haha imagine if she was doing it out of habit because she would stick the middle handle in her pussy when she was alone that would be gross haha

>>8609230
I don't know what you're talking about at all. C-buttons are used for strafing. R is used for fine aim.

>>8609116
>Shitty centre of gravity
It weighs practically nothing, how weak are you that this is an issue?

>>8609263
Weight of the controller is not the problem. There's no balance between your left and right hands.

>>8609256
Exactly. You could only switch between weapons with the A button while in playstation games you could cycle your inventory left and right with at least two buttons. How could you play goldeneye without the 1.2 solitaire control scheme anyway?

>>8609334
Never really struck me as a big deal, considering most levels have you juggling maybe a handful of weapons. They could have just removed the crouch, which isn't even really utilised for anything, but they opted not to, so they probably didn't think it was a huge deal. They also could have had a weapon wheel like Turok.

>>8609334
>You could only switch between weapons with the A button
>he doesn't know how to cycle weapons backwards
lol

>>8606269
The only problem was that for 99% of games you'd be grabbing onto the middle and right handles rather than grabbing both wings like with any normal controller, they didn't think that one through
Not that we cared when we were kids. You would claw that thing, you would spin it with your palm, it was a god damn spectacle of a controller

>>8607984

>>8608249
Congratulations, you're about to become sick of it.

>>8606745
>Literally since the N64 was unveiled

>>8609815
Whoa one article in one magazine whose whole job was to advertise the product

>>8609838
So where's your evidence?

>>8609815
>using the left and center arms offers the best features for right-handed players

kek they were just making shit up at this point.

>>8610282
>bait