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/vr/ - Retro Games

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File: 2 KB, 320x240, SQIJ!.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8070204 No.8070204 [Reply] [Original]

Does it get any worse than the Speccy version of SQIJ? Genuinely asking.
>Impossible to move because the game expects inputs to be in lower case rather than upper case, and the game turns on caps when booting(?) requiring you to edit the code just to play.
>Illegally contains a copy of LazerBASIC which it can't run without.
>Impossible/incredibly hard to even leave the first screen.
>Moving left or right sometimes inexplicably snaps you back to the center of the screen.
>Even if you get the game working, sometimes you will die for no obvious reason
>Score constantly counts up, inputs or none.

I don't think any game is as shit as this, but I sincerely want to be proven wrong.

>> No.8070267

Hareraiser

>> No.8070278

>>8070267
At least the commands work in that "game"

>> No.8070284

>>8070204
The Terminator 2 port for the C64GS is kind of legendary in that you can't even get past the title screen
>100% direct port of the C64 version
>game requires you to press a button on the keyboard
>system doesn't have a keyboard so there's no way to do this
Enjoy your paperweight, kids.

>> No.8070304

>>8070284
Kek. This would only happen with 80s computers.

>> No.8070432

>>8070204
Pretty sure this was made by a 14 year old kid who had no clue what he was doing, seriously.

>> No.8070446

Don't forget the included music: https://soundcloud.com/annabeep/sqij_swimming_against_tide_hex_c64

>> No.8070457

>>8070432
He was fully aware of what he was doing. He simply tried to get out of his contract by pulling off as much shit as possible.

>> No.8070460
File: 14 KB, 512x384, final1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8070460

This game's sole purpose of existing was to be remade into the 2018 version which is actually good.

>> No.8072051

>>8070460
But you could just play any other version, right? Only the speccy version was sabotaged

>> No.8072103

>>8070204
redpill me on SQIJ, what's the actual objective supposed to be?

>> No.8072127

>>8072051
Yes. The Sqij memes are all specifically about the hilarious fuckfest that is the Speccy port, not the game itself, which really isn't THAT bad.

Here's the original:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1eyRXFLp1s

>> No.8072135

>>8072103
You're a retarded bird and someone stole your food, according to the inlay.

>> No.8072139

>>8072127
>C64 game
>1/3 of the video is loading
Sounds about right

>> No.8072151

>>8072103
>Squij was once a happy bird in the decadent days before the population holocaust. THEN THE FOOD RAN OUT. You control this mutant creature who will stop at nothing to satisfy its only driving life force ... INSATIABLE, FEROCIOUS, VIOLENT HUNGER.
>You must guide Squij through the underground labyrinth in search of the pieces of the Ener tree. These pieces, once found, must be assembled in the cave with the Great Platform. To pass through a doorway you need a pass, to get a pass ... well, that wouldbe telling!

>> No.8072161
File: 92 KB, 554x379, Original_SQIJ!_Cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8072161

>>8072151
>INSATIABLE,
>FEROCIOUS,
>VIOLENT
>HUNGER.

>> No.8072181

>>8072103
tldr you need to navigate a maze to find 6 objects and drop them off at a specific location. The maze also has a bunch of locked doors that must be opened with passes you get by collecting fruit and trading these with npcs. It's pretty standard eurocomputer maze adventure stuff.

>> No.8072195

>>8072103
Collect 4 pieces of a tree or something...

>> No.8072284

Based SQIJ filtering casuals.
>b-but I paid for the game, I expect it to be p-playable!

>> No.8072312

>>8072284
the beauty of games like this is they cost so little it barely mattered if they worked or not

>> No.8072373

>>8072312
>it only cost 1 pound, who cares if it's not functional? i can buy so many more games than somebody who owns a shitty Nintendo
Classic speccy cope

>> No.8072420

>>8072373
mate i'm 30 not 150, no stake in your dinosaur game arguments lol

>> No.8073381
File: 12 KB, 640x400, PC88_1.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8073381

>>8070204
>Does it get any worse than the Speccy version of SQIJ?
Yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X1xgkS890s

>> No.8073438

>>8073381
Shitty 80s japanese computer games are something else

>> No.8073462

>>8072103

The core gameplay is basically the same as Sabre Wulf; run(?) around a giant maze, defeat enemies, collect x number of objects

>> No.8073490

>>8073381
Nausicaa has cute girls, sqij doesn't

>> No.8073623
File: 171 KB, 800x902, 231752-obitus-dos-front-cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8073623

>>8072161
Wait a second, that cover...

>> No.8073625

>>8073623
Wondrous times when you could get away with something like this

>> No.8073943

>>8072127
>HELLO FELLOW GAME FREAKS!
...Huh?

>> No.8076045

>>8073625
IIRC it was originally a book cover for some fantasy novel.
A lot of Psygnosis boxart are just licensed paintings, hence why some feel kinda unrelated like the one for Orc.

>> No.8076059
File: 488 KB, 764x880, e6k7j.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8076059

>>8076045
That cover is fucking awesome. Damn.

>> No.8076064

>>8070204
>Does it get any worse than the Speccy
not really

>> No.8076125

>>8076059
That one I saw a while back when I searched to see if anyone had drawn the creatures from Crucible of Time.

The actual creatures of the story I pictured more as an octipodal shrub while I was reading... the little art I have seen shows them as humanoids...

>> No.8076491

>>8076064
It's full of trash but the games that actually use both the strengths and limitations of the hardware to their advantage are fantastic. But of course for every one of those there's at least ten garbage games.

>> No.8076664
File: 239 KB, 766x1280, sqij_underacalculating_cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8076664

>>8076045
Yup.

>> No.8077036

>>8076664
Can't believe they wrote a whole book about SQIJ.