/vr/ - Retro Games

Issue #9. I just remembered how once Future bought Nintendo Power it lost all of its charm.

More later.

>204 posts
>1 ip
Is anyone even reading this?

>>8001292
>I drove over my children's NES with our 1984 Cadillac
>after carefully plugging it in, it worked perfectly as ever

Calling bullshit on this. It would be flat as a pancake if run over with a car.

>>8002293
I'd say the bigger story here is the kid who called the hotline about help on the final dungeon of Zelda only for the faggots working the tipline to say "No, lol, that info is top secret, you gotta do it yourself." He paid money to get nothing of value. They should have given him a refund on his call if they weren't going to give him the info he asked for.

>>8002864
That's bullshit too. Even moreso the guy was mad enough about it to write Nintendo and again they told him to fuck off. And this was Nintendo Power who spills the secret codes and maps for everything. Just wtf was their problem here?

>>8001293
>Mark Discordia

Oh boy
http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/nes/mark.htm

>>8002234
Nope. Some autistic fuckhead keeps spamming the board with this shit

Thanks, OP. Didn't know Faxanadu was that popular.
>>8003114
Oh no, how terrible! Now there isn't going to be any space left for N64 hate threads and Sega System shitposting.

>>8002293
Are you retarded?

Thanks, OP.

I admire the patience it takes to upload an issue one page at a time, Doing the stupid capcha over and over. OP you are too good for this place, honestly

>>8003062
Even funnier is they printed it. Now it's enshrined in history that Nintendo Power ripped off some kid in Washington state and admitted to it.

>>8002293

Not necessarily, if there was something around it to take some of the weight. But yeah, probably there was so much stuff around it, or the blow was enough of a glancing one, that claiming the car ran right over it is an exaggeration that the person made in order to sound cool when retelling the story.

I think this is an issue my mom bought individually, before I ever had an actual subscription to this magazine. I remember poring over it at what I think was Christmas.

It's funny to look at all these detailed maps of stages and these articles written in an excited tone about The Three Stooges or whatever... I didn't really need any of that as a kid; I never once used one of those maps, and I don't recall ever trying out a sketchy-looking game just because Nintendo Power had run an article on it. But I still liked reading the magazine, even if I'd only skim aspects of it that I didn't have much use for. Just reading about this world of games I'd never play that COULD be good was enjoyable in its own right.

>>8002293
Why was the NES sitting in the driveway to begin with?

>>8003776
Exactly. It sounds fake as fuck.

>>8003776

The family was packing stuff for a trip. The kids wanted to take the Nintendo. So it was put atop a bag filled with clothes, with a few other things stacked next to it, unstably because the kids did it and they were stupid kids. The whole pile fell over, leaving the NES behind the car amidst some other items (toys, a bag of toiletries, whatever). A few minutes later, Dad went by himself to put gas in the car so it wouldn't have to be done with the family along. He didn't notice the pile (which the rest of the family was still working on, but slowly because they were disorganized and got distracted by something hilarious Steve Urkel was doing on the TV) and so he ran over it. The NES was partly crushed, but it was also partly protected by the other stuff around it.

Source: the mystical realm. I composed a long series of questions about what happened on that day and laboriously fed them, one at a time, into Taboo: The Sixth Sense, which gave answers pointing to the above explanation.

Thanks, OP.

>>8001512
>>8001513
Howard saves the day

>>8001293
I wanna lick that girl's thighs

>>8001418
Those cutscenes didn't make it into the final game; though there is a beta version out there with them

>>8007019
The issue for Maniac Mansion has a map from the uncensored original version of the game, with the tasteful nude statue. NP always got the goods before everyone else, it's why they had the only copy of NES SimCity for ages.

>>8007005

Nice.

>>8007169

I'm pretty sure they briefly previewed Mother at some point, as well... I don't remember whether the screenshot(s) they showed came from the unreleased localized version or the original Famicom version, though.

>>8007879
Could be either, the screenshots didn't have text. Funny enough, it was on the exact same page they were talking about the NES version of SimCity. Page 89, issue 18.

>>8007707
There's nothing wrong with what he said. That girl is like 45 now. She is completely legal.

>>8008064

Weird. I was working from memory of my childhood magazines, which I haven't seen in decades. And I don't remember that SimCity reference at all. I guess I wouldn't have paid much attention to it then, since I didn't yet know how much I would come to like that kind of game?

Maybe I'd recognize it if I saw it again though. I suppose it may come up in these threads soon enough.

>>8007707

Thank you.
The certificate for excellent taste will be sent to him in the mail.

>>8001292
>I'm 16 years old [...] Some people think I'm too old to play NES games.
Haha imagine playing videogames past 16.

>>8008078
Got it right here. The previous issue they were talking about the Robin Hood action RPG that was made, and how the dev was also working on a LotR game as well called War in Middle Earth.

>>8001284
Holy shit. I think this was my very first issue.

>>8003072
Oh, shit. It's the legend himself.

>>8008165
You gotta admit though that guy has some balls admitting to the world he still plays games when he should be out banging hot cheerleaders every night.

>>8003072
Anybody who thinks Seanbaby doesn't make those up is naive as fuck.

>>8008183

Huh. That looks about like what I remember. I even remembered it being on a right-side page... but the SimCity section doesn't look familiar to me at all. I guess I had played Dragon Warrior by then, so I knew that RPGs were extremely important things? But I hadn't ever played anything like SimCity, so it didn't mean very much to me.

>>8001589

I never understood that troll sprite. I still don't understand it.

>>8001301
I'm surprised they didn't mention the trick to skip paying the statue.

>>8011346
It's just a bearded dude with horns

>>8007879
They got Mother, and Final Fantasy V, which was referred to as Final Fantasy Extreme.

>>8001284
Bless you OP, I had about 15 years worth of these spanning from early 1990 to 2006 and my father threw them all out. I haven't stopped being mad, I haven't seen these issues in many many years.

>>8011573

Right but he's sprouting out of nothing. Where are his legs?