/vr/ - Retro Games

>>798904
Any Kirby game

Umihara Kawase. She'll love it.

:)

Play FFIV, she really can't lose as long as you take time to level. Also Pokemon or Kirby gets a mention.

Just play Goof Troop with her

How about fucking.

Felix the Cat NES.

Pokemon and Kirby are excellent.

>>798920
Well, it is a retro game.

>ballsssssss loook at my baalllllssss

My sister's were always terrible at games, but they really got a kick out of Yoshi's Story. They also liked most of the old arcade games (arkanoid, centipede, DK jr, ect)

>>798909
>Any Kirby game

She's stuck on King Dedede on Kirby's Adventure. She refuses to go back.

>>798915
>FFIV

She's too retarded for menus on RPGs.

>Pokemon
"They're for 12 year olds"

>>798920
>How about fucking.

We do that, but that's not really video games.

>>798927
Go for Kirby's Super Star, the short games might just be a way to charm her in.

Perhaps Mario Party? It's worth a shot.

>>798927
Are you sure she even enjoys video games?

>>798904
Uh, one question: Does she actually like video games or are you trying to push your own interests onto her like a big dork?

>>798938
>Are you sure she even enjoys video games?

She does, but she doesn't like losing. She's not particularly competitive. She didn't even start playing video games until she got a DS, so she's quite accustomed to casual bullshit. I'm having troubles finding games for her, since she can't beat things in her early 20s that I beat when I was 10 and younger. I fear she lacks hand eye coordination and reaction time.

>>798952
Try a really, really easy Zelda game. Wind Waker. Minish Cap.
>not retro
DGAF

She may like Wario Land. Only the games where getting hit just gives you a different form.

Ghosts and Goblins.

>>798952
Get her to play HOMM2 or 3. I've converted many people who otherwise didn't give a fuck about games into true believers. No hand/eye coordination required helps too.

Mine likes rpgs.

You know, the kind of games that are turn based and you literally can not lose until you made your move.

Anything involving coordination though.....she refuses to play

>>798952
she lacks practice

try:
co-op games, tetris clones (great for basic d-pad skills), or if she really is bad have her play as tails in sonic games.

anything that can spend time together and just get used to a real controller instead of slimey touch screens.

Tetris Attack. woman love Tetris Attack

>>798927
holy shit, how did you get such a dumb broad?

>>798927
>FF4 is too complicated for her
Check for signs of Down's syndrome.

>>798904
Most retro didn't do a lot of hand-holding/coddling, OP.I'm trying to find something that fits your needs but all I can think of is point-and-click stuff, or non-retro Nintendo shovelware (DS, Wii have tons of it.).

Kirby's epic yarn?

You could also accept that 'video games' in general is something you have in common, and not necessarily 'retro' ones.

So she likes playing the Sims and Fruit Ninja, and going 'omg im gamr gurrrrl'. So what? Is it worth ruining a relationship over?

Also sage for /soc/ shit.

>>798904
I am terrible at platformers OPster, but it's mainly because I DON'T LIKE THEM.

That was a not-so-subtle hint, BTW.

>>799113
How could you not like the best genre of videogames?

I am a 28 year old male who grew up with every nintendo system ever made and I suck at platformers entirely. I'm no good at anything beyond kirby.

I grew up on nothing but RPGs almost. And a little bit of Mario that I was never good at.

>she's too retarded for RPG menus

Either you're trolling or she just doesn't like console RPGs. You have two options

>Chrono Trigger
It's pretty much impossible to have a difficult time with Chrono Trigger. It is exceedingly simple and fun and charming. If she likes it you can move on to FF6, the other easiest fucking game ever

>She just doesn't like vidya

>>799120
0/10

Why are videogames so hard for some people? I've seen someone try to play a Mario game and say they couldn't figure out what they were supposed to do.

Well OP, what did you start on?
point+click games (putt-putt and pajama sam nigguh!).
pokemon (seriously, convince her its not just a kids game).
Babbies first RPG (mystic quest is perfect for this).
how about Mario+Duckhunt?
Sonic?
I played Star Tropics a lot as a kid, possibly that?

Honestly OP, most chicks aren't into non-casual games. My GF loves movie/cartoon games and (3rd gen and up) pokemon, and thats about it. She's also really big into PS1+2 platformers like spyro or croc, a complete reversal from what I like (minus pokemon and Okami). However I don't know how your dame will take them.
The only point in getting a chick more into vidya is for play party gamin without calling friends over. Lets face it, I've never heard of someone 1v1'ing their GF in perfect dark.
>TLDR: get a wii and some party games
Co-Op on the "new super mario bros" for wii is pretty fun, have you tried that?

>>799183
>Mario
>couldn't figure out what they were supposed to do
Uh... what? You jump on shit and go right. What is there not to get?

>>799193
My wife and I regularly have DM and TCTF matches with our kids, but I guess we don't count.

>>799195
I don't know either. Which makes it impossible for me to help them, since they're getting stuck on the stuff I found intuitive even as a child.

>>799040

Yeah really. Bitches LOVE Tetris.

Any cutesy puzzler will do. Bust a Move in particular is like hypnosis to women. It's piss easy to learn how to play, and addicting.

Kirby Adventure for the NES is easy as fuck, if I remember right.

>>798967
man what the fuck

>>798987
I've found this to be the case with my gf also. But it sucks because out of maybe Pokemon, I hate turn based RPG's.

The thing is that girls brains don't work like guys. Guys have more of a risk/reward factor built in. You just gotta have girls play something easy and pretty.

>Kill everyone in this thread

why do you insist she plays games in the first place anon?

retro vidya gaming (to me) is primarily a solitary activity

I would stop seeing her immediately and find someone that isn't mentally challenged.

>>798927
Kirby Epic Yarn

Not retro but it's the easiest Kirby ever (you can't die)

> Tfw no gf

>>799359
This needs to stop.

Too dumb for platformers and RPGs? If you have a PS3, try Flower or Journey. Simple controls and you don't have to feel bad about making her play shit games. Maybe she'd enjoy button mashing her way against a fighting game PC?

Katamari?

>>798952

DS....

I know this might sound bad, but there is a super easy mode....

Hear me out.

Elite Beat Agents

old school computer adventure games, point n click or text adventure if she can string two words together

I understand why women arent well represented and marketed towards in video games thanks to the this thread. Much more than any misogyny thread could explain it

>>799407
Thread agrees this chap's girlfriend is a special brand of dumb, though. Hell, I got my first console for my 16th birthday and I turned out alright.

Does she want soft, colorful fun feels or does she want to wreck shit?

First one, Yoshi's Island. It's impossible to hate and it's so simple. The second one, Thunderforce III. Easy, fun, polished and both games have excellent soundtracks.

>>798904
Piss easy RETRO games are hard to find...

Did she enjoy action games? Because Doom in the easiest difficulty mode is piss easy.

>>799428
the problem is that we have to find piss easy games for a girl to actually enjoy.

Try to get a girl to play megaman, super metroid, or unreal tournament

Youd have an easier time giving a cat a bath

>>799195
>>799198
The worst part of that example is that the SMB series had an attract screen, which started up IMMEDIATELY. All you had to do was sit and watch, and you would have the gist of the game in about thirty seconds flat.

>>799447
What's the retro equivalent of Angry Birds? Or Bejewled? Or those click-on-the-screen-like-a-spastic-monkey hidden-object games?

>>799465
duck hunt?

>>799465
Bust-a-Move
Columns
Ducktales

>>799447
OP's girlfriend couldn't handle those anyway if she can't handle Mario. Shame, if she thinks Pokemon is for kids she could have been talked into them.

>>799465
Yoshi's Cookie? Dr. Mario?

>>799471
Perfect. Now OP,plug in the second controller andkeep the duck in range for her (don't let her see you!).

Crisis averted, /vr/tualbros...let's go home.

>>799447
Plenty of girls play those games. Fuck. I'm enraged because I expected better from this board.
All this "oooh women are so dumb they need such EASSYY games" and that's why all games aimed at females are fucking terrible because men make them and have a shitty view on what women supposedly want.

Keep her on Mario and sonic. You can't play games if you can't handle the kind of button presses that those two game necessitate. Don't backseat play. It's terrible. It's worse than watching your brother play, but the only thing worse than being the person watching is being the person who can't pull off the mechanics the backseat player is yelling at them to do.

I really think the mario and sonic games are where it's at.

>>799495
You can stop trolling now. OP specifically stated (multiple times) that his girlfriend would not play any of the standards, because they were "too hard".

>Plenty of girls play those games.
Just stop.

>>799508
Why don't you stop? You can't even sage properly you tiny dicked piece of shit.

>>799508
>implying girls can't into vidya

virgin detected

>>799495
Women don't need easy games. However they do tend to pick one's directed towards a casual audience, which are generally regarded as easy.
OP has also specified that his chick is at the top of the retard spire.

Quick question OP, has she tried any lightgun games? Whats her attitude towards them?

>>799447
You mean uninteresting twats who couldn't hold a logical conversation if it didn't directly involve their shoes or hair?
Fuck them. They're mindless, vapid waifs without a shred of use.

Yes, I'm angry and implying girls that don't like Megaman are evil.

>>799040

>gf addicted to Candy Crush Saga (popular falling/moving block facebook game)
>introduce her to Tetris Attack
>gf is now addicted to Tetris Attack

F-Zero
Mystic Quest
Arkista's Ring (NES)
Harvest Moon
Yoshi's Island
Yoshi's Story
Pokemon (seriously, sit down and talk to her about that shit)
Sonic

>>798952
If she actually does enjoy some games, then what sort of stuff does she like?
It's possible that retro games simply aren't for her. They tend to be a bit harder than more recent games, and if she's not enjoying them, then maybe you should look into some completely different games to recommend for her.

Also, this might apply; >>799505
I remember my early console experiences were pretty sour. Some friends of mine owned consoles and allowed me try out their games, but I hadn't played the games before, so I didn't immediately figure out how everything works. I failed at some supposedly simple tasks, and the owners of the consoles got frustrated watching me play. They yelled instructions for a while, until they eventually just grabbed the controller from me to show how things get done.

Just make sure that's not the problem and you're not acting like those people. Allow the newfag some space, and give them time to learn how things work.

>>799479
>Bust-a-Move

This.

>>799495

This too. My gf has recently been glued to my PS3 with DD:DA. It's not the hardest game out there, but she's having a blast with it.

Sage for non-/vr/. Also, splitscreen L4D is always a good choice for couples.

>>799596
On the subject of backseat players, make sure you're actually good at giving advice- if you're not, don't. Knew a guy who was good at games, but couldn't explain directions for shit. Like he'd skip steps 1-5 and call everything the wrong name. You had to ask specific questions to get the right shit out of him. One time I spent ages on one boss before handing the controller off in boredom/frustration only for it to be instantly apparent he hadn't mentioned a vital, basic piece of information that would have made my fight less of a slog. Not out of malice, just bad at communicating.

>>798904
You have to remember you have been playing games your whole life.
She hasn't.
Many things that you think as simple and obvious simply aren't.
It is just like how it might have taken you years to learn to walk but now you take it for granted.
The old baby you had to think about the balance, moving the legs separately WHILE holding that balance, adjusting the balance when shifting weight from one leg to another, thinking how to move the leg and etc... Shit wasn't so obvious to start with. But you learned, things got automated and now you pay no mind when taking a step.

She is in that stage, she needs to think about the buttons, she needs to think about the TV, she needs to think about the character moving on the TV while thinking about the buttons, she needs to think about the enemies while trying to think about the character while thinking about the buttons, and all that thought balancing is pretty complex.
One day she might be as learned as you and be able to play well.

>Hates losing
This is what the pampered and spoiled millenials have become. Everyone is a special little princess who should always win and be the center of all attention. Everyone gets a trophy.

>>798927
Sorry, bro. Your girlfriend has terminal shit taste in video games and sounds kind of dumb. I hope the rest of her is good because you're not really gonna be able to share that.

>>799106
>going 'omg im gamr gurrrrl'. So what? Is it worth ruining a relationship over?
Yes. Fucking casual feminazis.

Reminds me of my little sister.
She bought a PS2 when they started getting cheap.

The only games she has are some PS1 Harry Potter game and Singstar crap.
Well and that Lord of the Rings beat 'em up, because she's a huge LotR nerd.

Everything else we played together feels kinda wasted on her because she's so terrible.

I gave her FF9 as a present but she never played it even once.

Now she wants to buy a SuperNintendo though,
because she doesn't like the feel of emulators.

>>800004
Take your little sister to the vet hospital and have her euthanized. It's the only way to be sure.

>>798927
I know that you can't always explain love, but why are you with a girl who is clearly dumb as a brick?

>>799739

Seriously?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say a good chunk of the board are millenials that love the punishment that can only come from older games we grew up with.

>>798952
Oh god.

Are you dating my sister?

Could you just... push her down a short flight of stairs, please?

House of the Dead with infinite continues.

your girlfriend sounds like a vapid cunt without any sense, you should break up with her

Multiplayer Twinkle Star Sprites. Girls love Twinkle Star Sprites. Play using your feet or something so she stands a chance.

Pong

>>798904
Is dsp your girlfriend?

>>798963
>HoMM
>fucking intense strategy & tactics: the game

but maybe you are right about trying a game that doesn't need reaction time

>having a gf who is shit at vidya

man up.

If you had a boyfriend you wouldn't have this problem.

Earthbound is pretty easy, except for maybe battling Diamond Dog and Giygas, but that's what walkthroughs are for.
Maybe Tetris is up her alley.

Dump her. Her genes are weak.

I'd rather have the supreme vidya gf or one that didn't like them at all. Someone who was really into them but not good at all would just depress/annoy me to no end.

>>799091
That's possibly the worst webcomic I've read.

>>798927
>mfw this entire post

My young cousin can only beat 3 levels in Mario World, one of which is the yellow switch palace.

>>800452
>fucking intense strategy & tactics: the game

Only if you know nothing about the genre. Sure there are some maps that are harder than the others, but it's a very accessible game.

OP There is no games as easy as youre looking for.. anything easier would involve no human interaction. What you want is simple games that are easy to learn, repetitive and easy on the brain so your gf can learn and become better. Games like mario bros., toobin, tetris, super mario kart, snow bros. bubble booble, rainbow islands.. maybe your gf just doesnt try hard enough, its common with ppl who suck at games.. or maybe shes just board.. all in all there just are no games as easy as your looking for.