/vr/ - Retro Games

bump

>>765607
>8 minutes ago is when thread started
>bump

Relax. This is a slow board. Some topics last for a week. If somebody doesn't answer right away, don't continue to bump it until they do.

Sage for off-topic.

Whenever Midna was riding wolf link in Twilight princess I couldn't stop myself from being bonerized and sub-subsequently jerking off

That fucking ass and those sounds man

>>765626
>I couldn't stop myself from being bonerized and sub-subsequently jerking off

That's not weird at all. Everyone loves Midna.

>>765626

>>765626
>>>/v/

I opened a candle shop in Ultima 7 by collecting literally every light source in the game and commandeering a store by killing the shop keeper and disposing of his corpse

>Jump over pit in any platformer
>Hold controller in that direction
>It didn't do anything, but it felt like it did.

>>765661
>some platformers have controllable jumps
>some don't
wow so whacky!

>>765594
you sound like you were a massively screwed up kid
I'm not even sure if I knew what sex was at 8

>>765671
what?

>>765685
i accidentally reading

^+B in Pokemon

Still do it.

It just feels right, dammit.

>>765709
It's all about B and down man.
Or in the games where the ball sways, holding B and pressing the direction the ball's swaying.

I was about 8 when I played FF7 for the first time.

The scene at Don Corneo's mansion where a bunch of dudes start feeling on Cloud gave me a raging boner for some reason. I just sat there for half an hour rubbing my dick.

I don't even know man.

I always press and hold B when the smoke appears from the Pokeball on a capture attempt. I also always press A in time with animations of certain attacks, as if they made use of SMRPG's action commands.

When passing the giant gate at the end of each level in Super Mario World, I would try to hit Left on the D-Pad at the last second in an attempt to make Mario walk backwards. I did the same thing at the end of stages in Adventure Island for GameBoy. Also in SMW, any time I'm riding a Yoshi and exit a level through a keyhole, I spit the key out as the exit animation plays.

This one doesn't really fit into /vr/, but on the XBLA version of Terraria, I feel a strong urge to slaughter every bunny that is unfortunate enough to enter the screen.

>In Final Fantasy 4 and 6 I used to hit R + L 3 times really fast at the beginning of every fight because I thought it gave me an increased chance of preemptive attacks.
Not sure where I got this, it was more like superstition than anything.

Also pretty sure I wasn't the only one who did this:
>Playing Street Fighter II
>Pause Chun Li in various provocative poses
>Fap like a raging baboon in heat
The shit we did before internet porn lol

>>765652
I did basically the same thing in Morrowind with the Seyda Neen Lighthouse.

>>765709
>>765729
>>766080
You could have a whole thread about the buttons we held down to catch the pokemon.

>>766080
If you weren't pressing and holding A+B as soon as the pokeball smoke appeared (or as soon as the pokeball opened, in the later games like FireRed) you were doing it wrong.

>>766080
When I was 8 I caught Mewtwo at full health with a Pokeball by spamming ABABA...

No one has ever believed me but it remains the greatest accomplishment of my life.

>>766221
i believe you anon

>>766221
I believe you!

>>766221
I don't believe you, you little shit

>>766243
that's what ur mum said in bed last night, when I told her about my 10 inch dick

Needless to say, I proved her wrong.

My friend and his brother said they would each claim a block in Block Fort in Mario Kart 64 and would do something they called "banana farming" where they'd try to cover their blocks with bananas and destroy the bananas on the other person's block. They said they'd do it for hours.

>>766248
She was expecting five inches.
Little did she know that she'd only be getting three.

>>766248

I'm sorry but I can't hear you down there because I'm fucking your mom on top of the Eiffel tower. She said this was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for her and then talked about how you would give her worthless macaroni art and how she would step on them before throwing them away. I told her to keep going because it was going to make me cum. She said your dad was a worthless cumstain on her life but she got locked in by his poisonous sperm. I told her to move away with me but she said "my son is too retarded. If I left him, he would just sit there with his mouth open until he died". I told her I understand and came in her eye.

step it up nigger[/spoiler[

>>766248
>>766257
>12 yo insults.

>>766263
>jokes

>>766250
That sounds pretty fun actually.

>>766240
>>766238
Believe-mind! Jinx, pinch poke you owe me a coke!

>>766250
Block Fort Wars?
Shit, me and my friends would do that all the time.
2 vs 2. Each group claimed a single block stack. And we'd go on attack runs on eachother. Shit was awesome.
We had a variation in Goldeneye's Facility that we'd play every now and then, too.

> Play Crash Bandicoot 3
> Play the jetski Coco levels
> The jetski motor-boating the water causes my controller to vibrate roughly
> Stick controller up my balls
> Use this method as a quasi-masturbating technique
> One time my mom walks in on me
> Stares for a good few seconds
> Closes door
> I continue doing it as if nothing happened

I look back and really begin to hate myself sometimes

>have SSB but no siblings or friends
>play Saffron City with me as Pikachu, my extra controller as Jigglypuff
>proceed to roleplay and pretend I was in the Pokemon world with myself

>>766250
My brother and I did this all the time. I don't think we're the two you speak of because our totally super special unique rules involved fake item boxes as "the main power cores" we'd have to defend with our lives.

Not really /vr/ (It should be! Damn game's 13 years old now)

But my brother and I used to, in Halo on Beaver Creek. We'd each claim a base and stand on top of it. And we'd take turns hail mary-tossing sticky grenades across. The goal was to get the grenade into the little hole on top of the base.

Of course, you were allowed to block grenades you think might actually go into the hole... But there's only one way to do that...

>>766331
>(It should be! Damn thing's 13 years old now)
That defense doesn't go over in court as well as you might expect.

>>766305
>the main power cores
That's adorable.

Personally, I'd just fire endless salvos of green shells into the pit until and then drive around dropping traps until everyone who wasn't me died.

"To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill." ~Sun Tzu

>>766210
>A+B
>Not down+B
It's like you don't want your Pokeball to magically turn into a Master Ball.

>>766331

My brother and I were in a duel on Blood Gulch, and he got into the Warthog's gunner seat on his end of the map and started randomly firing without caring where I was. I grabbed my rocket launcher and blasted his ass from across the map. As soon as he respawned, he proceeded to get right back in. In his defense, he was probably 12 at the time.

>>765628
don't lump me in with you, TP was a turd.

My first boner I can remember was from Yoshi's Story. I kept getting eaten by those flying piranhas that shrunk you after eating you, and then obsessing over how small it made Yoshi.

To this very day, I will sometimes sit and fucking narrate/converse with gameplay in a cockney accent for hours on end. I've got to be in the mood, though.

>playing motorcycle racing games where you can fall off bike
>fall off bike and instead of getting back on walk around and explore level

>>766787
I do that too, but sometimes me accent slips and I end up with Irish or Russian.

In fighting games I would time my attacks to the beat of the music

Mother 3? Easiest game ever

>>766810
I did that but with a car. It is clear the whole point of the game is to drive until you are where you need to be then get out to shoot.

How many people try to live a normal non-protag life on a game? I did it on GTA2 and up.

>>766837
I have a complete inability to detect rhythm so I just could not do. Mother 3 made me feel just forgotten about and left behind and it made me sad and the battles were really frustrating for me. The person who recommended the game to me watched me play through it and I eventually just had to have them tapping me to the rhythm in all of the battles in order to do it. Even then i fucked it up a lot.

>>766119
We have had that before.

>>766864
I do that whenever I can, anon.

Some of the stories I make up for the character I'm playing amaze me, too.

>>766787
Every retard capable of switching on a webcam has a youtube account; and yet you don't.

I would watch the shit out of that.

For some reason me a friend would call the Lens of Truth the "Bubble butt". I uhhh honestly don't know how that came to be.

>>766810
there are games where you can do that?? I always wanted to do that with my racing games but the fucker just automatically got back on his bike...

>>767323
Now that you mention, it kinda looks like a goatse.

>>766787
>mfw I do this
Not exactly in a cockney accent, but I talk so much fucking crap whenever I do anything on a computer, it totally blows my mind when I record any of it.

>>767393
I do something similar. Whenever I get frustrated while playing a videogame, I just start spewing insults or just random shit. Similar to the AVGN, only not as coherent.

>>767308
I was singing a fucked up version of Goldfinger's Superman while playing Tony Hawk 2, because HERP CAN'T PUT ANY GAMEPLAY ON YOUTUBE IF IT'S GOT A SONG RECORDED SINCE 1920 IN IT. APPARENTLY ALUCARD YELLING SOUL STEAL AND GRUNTING ALL THE TIME OVER TOP OF SOME RANDOM BACKGROUND MUSIC IS ROBBING SOME JAPANESE TWAT OF VALUABLE CD SALES.

Oh right, I got carried away. But if I play Tony Hawk, I will sing that fucked up version as badly as I can while the ingame music is muted.

>>766221
Pure chance bitch. Button presses never gad shit to do with catching pokemon, it was always random chance,outside of the masterball,

>>766787
I usually verbally narrate any game I play that doesn't have proper voices, in a voice I think would suit the character.

It's strangely entertaining.

>>769205

My friend and I do this when we play single player games together. Somehow it always ends up accented in some way

>>769213
Really depends on the character. There's not many that are base American accent, but at the same time there's not many Jamaicans or South Americans.

There's at least one Sean Connery in every game, however.

>>766221
Mine isn't as impressive, and not retro, but I caught Azelf with a timer ball on the first turn.

I felt like a true champion

>>769213
I wish I had friends like you

>>769241
>base American accent

>>769276
What most people refer to as "no accent". I can't just say American accent because there's too many in play in the country. Southern, Posh, Boston / New York, etc.
Think average Joe.

>>766828
>sometimes me accent slips and i end up with Irish
>sometimes me accent
>Irish

>>769276
>>769283

He means General American.

>>769314
Last time I used that the guy thought I meant southern.

When I used to play Sonic 2, at the end of the stage you hit the capsule, the animals jump around, and then the stage finish music plays.

Every time the victory played I used to start to spin dash on the ground and let go, imagining Sonic and Tails rushing off to their next stage by doing that near the end of the stage finish music.

I thought it was cool, I still do it now sometimes.

Status as retro is iffy, but I have to share this shit...
>Playing Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel of the Roses
>Dueling Pegasus
>Last turn pretty much, about to finally beat his ass.
>He pulls out a Mimicat card.
>Fuck no.
>Can't get to new card in time because lol spellbinding.
>He beats me with an unblockable Tremendous Fire attack.
>Start yelling expletives at screen.
Fuck that smug bastard.

Actual retro thing, I used to play Smash Bros. scenarios where Fox would have been hired to kill everybody. Made Melee's Stamina mode that much more awesome.

>>766358
>Down+B
>Not up+A+B
do any of you people know how to play Pokémon

>>769378

I used to time it so the stage transitioned right at the apex of a jump.

it just felt right

>>769394
I used to think Pegasus was Joey.

Well...

When I played Super Mario Bros. when I was a kid every time I made Mario jump I would kick up my legs just as I hit the button.

>>765594

> playing FF VII
> get to sephiroth
> really low level (mid 30's) on my first playthrough, didn't know any better
> keeps wiping on last form
> fight goes on for 45 minutes, he's almost dead
> sephiroth confuses cloud
> cloud uses elixir on sephiroth
> threw the controller at the t.v. and cracked the screen
> blamed it on my sister
> didn't play again for a long time

I tend to slip into the habit of providing a rolling, snooker-esque commentary during a difficult part of a game, usually using a really broad Yorkshire accent. Soothes my nerves and really narrows my concentration for some reason.
>"Twinsun's gotta make these blowgun shots in order to 'ave a fightan chance at becoomin' a wizard - let's see how he makes them... OH! Get in! It's a BOOTIFUl shot right there, just clean nicked it on the 9 o'clock side. Great play".
If I was particularly retarded that day, or if I was filled with relief at completing it what ever puzzle or task it was, I'd give a response to my imaginary Yorkshire snooker commentator in a nasally posh accent.
>"Yes indeed, Jim, that was a sublime shot right there by Twinsun - this young scallywag really is moving on up in the world."

>>769276
American accents are regional

>>769601

I want to play video games with you now.

>>767308
Yo nigga, dat my girl Dorothy

>be 7
>playing Primal Rage on the SNES with best friend
>he beats me in a match
>I go crazy
>smash my controller on the ground, the force makes my SNES fall
>his face when

The SNES and controller were fine, thanks to it being made out of Nintendium. Think that was the last time losing a game made my rage that hard.

>>766221
I caught a Kyogre like that once. Was pretty happy!

>>765594
Holy fuck I laughed so hard

>>765709
I was a A+B (sometimes, + select) kind of guy

>>766250
I did that too

Okay, my weird thing

>be 6
>playan Dr. Franken on SNES
>level one
>entering bathroom triggers big franken enemy to attack
>stand just outside door
>verbally taunt him
>thought it was the funniest thing in the world
>get bored
>sprint in and waste his ass

I would do this almost every single run I did of this stage.

I used to swear at the TMNT arcade game. "Do not resist us" "FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I'LL RESIST YOU ALL I FUCKING WANT"

This was a public arcade and I was doing it loudly.

>>769601

>not being the commentators from the Mitchell and Webb look

>>766118
I literally cannot play Morrowind anymore because I'm such a greedy fuck I become obsessed with stealing everything in the game and displaying it in my house.

>>769601
For some bizarre reason we used to do impressions of Loyd Grossman, back when Through the Keyhole and Masterchef were around.

>>771771
Had that sauce last night on my pasta. Waste of a £1. Sauce was far too thin and weak. 2/10 would not purchase again.

>>767308

god dammit I read it in her voice

>>765594

washing all those Stellar Patrol solar panels clearly gave you PTSD

>be 12-14
>San Andreas comes out
>Find strip club
>turn volume to mute
>take pictures of pixel booty
>borderline porn
>mfw thinking on it now

>>771993
I did this with Duke Nukem 3D when I was a kid. Also not retro.

I use to inspect the tits of the dead spys in half-life, then crouch on top of them and pretend I was fucking them.

>>771759
Shit, I'd do the same when I played.

>>771745
>Red Red Orchestra 2
>Line up rifle shot at enemy
>OH and that's a bad miss

I used to make pictures with the ingame camera in Metal Gear Solid 2 of all the porn posters hidden throughout the game and furiously masturbate to them multiple times. I still remember an extraordinarily sexy poster of a babe in a blue bikini that sits in some kind of fountain.

I also bought hookers in GTA 3 and masturbated to the shaking car. The power of imagination.

During the last years I've started mentally explaining the things I do in the game and the gameplay mechanics as if I was doing a youtube video. I mostly do this in relatively complex games like Europa Universalis 3, Sengoku Rance, Heroes of Might and Magic 3, Civilization 4, Dark Souls and so on.

Ah, fuck, I just noticed that none of those stories are retro. How about this:
When I played Star Fox for the SNES I'd always move my controller through the air hoping it would speed up my airwing movement.

>morrowind
>kill someone and pillage his house
>house is now my new home
>sell stuff, buy pillows
>go to other houses and rob everyone of their pillows
>fill my entire house with stacks of pillows
>go on a quest to find all the pillows in the game and make giant caves of pillows.

hey, i had fun man

>give my chocobos in ff7 names of girls in my class
>have them all mate with a chocobo named after me


>playing sf2 on amiga commodore
>joystick only has 1! button
>attacks fly out at random
>notice the joystick has the same connector as my megadrive pad
>plug it in
>only 2 buttons out of 4 work
>can now choose between punch and kick
>be a happy kid


>play ff7
>no internets
>love the music
>pull my tv on the chair
>pc mic next to it
>record tracks from the game in shitty 64mbps quality
>friends in awe

>>772181
>recording music

When I was a kid, I remember taking a cassette recorder up to the TV to record the intro music to Mario RPG. The tape's probably still in my parents' basement somewhere

When I used to play Mario 64, i used to pretend that Mario was a scientist that discovered how to go inside paintings and began research on the life within each painting. Every time he killed a gomba or koopa, it was to study their anatomy.

>>772208
i find this unsettling

>>772205
hah oh wow. speaking of mario rpg. i still have some photos i took of my borrowed mario rpg instruction book. i took pictures of the 3d character art that was in it. It was still on film and the pictures were so blurry.

>>765709
it was holding down and tapping A as fast as possible

Tap B as fast as you can to catch Pokemon, idiots

While playing shining force sword of hayja I used to press the command button rapidly during the fight sequence. Always thought it'd give me a better chance for crits or double attacks.

>>769378
I do that every time, have for years

>>772152
My n'wah.

After I complete main quest, I'll rob as many bottles as I can and fill Fargoth's house with them. Should be fun.

>>772152
I could never do this. I could never do this.
That does sound like fun though. I preferred to run around having no idea what the fuck to do and leveling up. I think I hit.. level 29?
I had a decent level.

>>772291
I think I'll do this.
Filling up Fargoth's house might be fun.

>>772181
>64mbps
that's amazingly high quality

I entered the boss doors on megaman normally.

>>772406

Dude, that's like seriously fucked up right there...

I used to record random Genesis games through my VHS, I had about an hour of wrestlewar. a bit of Road Rash and some James Pond. Being an older model it also had a mic socket and something called a "moist" button, I have no idea what that is.

Anywho, one summer afternoon six of us crowded into my living room and dubbed over the video with terrible goofy WWF ringside announcer voices. It remains one of my fondest childhood memories.

Imagine my surprise when one of the friends pulled the 20 year old tape out a few months back. Apparently I'd given it to him to record some porn over but he didn't have the heart to part with it.

It's pretty mortifying listening to it, I'm really fucking glad it happened in the years before Youtube.

>>766221
Haha, I caught Zapdos like that, and Articuno with just three pokeballs (without attacking any of them). I do believe you anon.

>>766221
in diamond i caught dialga full health with a pokeball and i didnt do any of that button pressing shit so ha

>Be 7
>Get Resident Evil
>See pic
>Nope
>Run away and basically hide in the lobby
>Refuse to go anywhere except the lobby and the dining room because I know zombies don't go in there
>For weeks I play the game practically every day, just wandering around the lobby and the dining room trying to work up the courage to go somewhere else

>>769378
I would jump around and party with the animals.

>>772406
You're fucking disgusting. I don't even have a reaction image strong enough to show just how upset I am, seriously I just looked.

>>772338
it was mbit.

>>772291
>>772317
i think you replied to my pillow post? it got deleted. I thought morrowind was retro. at least it looks retro

sorry for shitting up the board.

>>772406
I bet you don't dash when you enter boss doors in Megaman X either, faggot.

>>772580
Yeah, it's interesting the stupid, unfunny shit you do as a kid, but which you found hilarious back then and still do due to fond childhood memories. And then you watch the tape of the incident.