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/vr/ - Retro Games

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File: 69 KB, 610x343, kefka laugh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743364 No.743364 [Reply] [Original]

I've never seen a thread about video game jokes, so let's begin!

What does Crono do to Marle when she's out of HP/MP?

Elixir.

[He licks her]

>> No.743369

>>743364

What is Sephiroth's title if he's testifying for his mother in court?

Jenova's witness.

>> No.743371

>[he licks her]

yeah, we got it. protip: never explain a jok

>> No.743374

>>743369


Ken and Ryu are hanging out one day. Ken approaches Ryu and inquires "Hey, man, I got a hot date tonight. Could I use some of your cologne?" Ryu ponders it over, then replies. "Shoryucan!"

(Sure, you can...)

>> No.743379

>>743374

What do you call Madonna after she falls into Mako?

A Materia Girl!

>> No.743384

I don't want to live on this world anymore.

>> No.743393

>>743379

No one else?

Who's Pacman's favorite Final Fantasy character?

WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA

>> No.743403

>>743384

What did Link use to win the basketball game?
His hookshot.

>> No.743412

>>743364
What did Cloud do after Aeris died?

He raped her dead body.
Over and over.
And made Barret watch.

>> No.743409

>>743403

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't open the door?
Triforce.

>> No.743421

How do you kill Bowser?
By slicing open his stomach and careening him over a cliff by his entrails whilst throwing each one of his children off the cliff that leads to a canyon full of ravenous Baby Yoshis.

>> No.743425
File: 63 KB, 539x700, 1226711936429.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743425

Be careful.
He might be awoken.

>> No.743428

What did Megaman do after beating Wily for the 11th time?

He raped him with his robotic cock, Wily would never walk or dance ever again.

>> No.743430

How do you kill bowser?
By axing him a question!

>> No.743436

>>743364
Why does Kefka laugh?
Because he is a schizophrenic off his medication.

>> No.743438

How do you get Pikachu to board a bus?

You poke 'em on.

>> No.743457
File: 899 B, 128x94, Unfunny Faggot.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743457

What did Mario use to surf the internet

His Web Bowser

>> No.743476
File: 66 KB, 500x500, 1365749765731.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743476

>>743457
oh my fuck

>> No.743481
File: 48 KB, 720x480, Carlos_Ramon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743481

Why are they called EA games? Because when you are asked if you want to buy them you say "いいえ"!

>> No.743482
File: 204 KB, 500x500, did you know dk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743482

>>743364
There's a reason.

>> No.743538

What does a digimon do when it is scared?
he cries for his mamemon!

>> No.743551

>>743481

Alright, this one was good

>> No.743575

Did anyone hear that song about having guts that Ness released?

It was a smash hit!

>> No.743584

>>743575

my nigga

>> No.743603
File: 147 KB, 960x540, ultros2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743603

What did I say when the shitty game developers woke me from my slumber?

I'cie you need some talent for your game

>> No.743608
File: 63 KB, 400x366, 1367009105545.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743608

>>743412
>>743421
Edgy.

>> No.743613
File: 87 KB, 800x533, 1366662330183.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743613

>>743403
>>743409
fucking classics.

>> No.743620
File: 4 KB, 320x320, crack.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743620

Eggs buster.

>> No.743624
File: 155 KB, 500x375, ultroscookie10.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743624

What did the Imp say to the Moogle?

>Implying I'm not gonna kappa your ass, cracka

>> No.743637

>>743603
That's an amusing rendering of Ultros, that's half realistic, half cartoon, and kind of works. No way I'd waste my time playing that game, though, even if I got it for free.

>> No.743639

>>743551
Explanation for us non-Japanese-speaking peasants?

>> No.743654

>>743639
いいえ or 'Īe' is pronounced like 'ie eh', so it's a sounds-like pun. This word means 'no' btw.

For the record, I don't know much Japanese.

>> No.743681
File: 70 KB, 243x200, 1358896513095.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743681

>>743374
stop explaining the jokes, they fall completely flat

>> No.743692

What happened when Relm painted an Intangir?

3 red apples, because a vest has no sleeves.

>> No.743705

>>743692
Only funny joke in the thread

>> No.743706

>>743692
I see what you did there

>> No.743713

>>743654
I'll take your word, clever.

>> No.743724

What do you get when you cross a Sid Meier simulator with an alien threat?

Arr-Type

http://instantrimshot.com/

>> No.743734

>>743481
best in thread.

>> No.743740
File: 72 KB, 485x213, Umgah.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743740

BETTER. JOKE. YES. BETTER. JOKE. HERE. IT. IS.
WHAT. YOU. GET. WHEN. COMBINE. DEUTERIUM. PELLET. TERRAWATT. LASER.
AND. PRIMITIVE. EARTH. LEADER. FROM. ASIAN. STEPPES.
ANSWER.
KHAN. FUSION.

HAR. HAR. HAR.

>> No.743749

>>743740
I like you.

>> No.743752
File: 10 KB, 200x251, 5star.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743752

>>743740

>> No.743754
File: 79 KB, 920x299, 1361802165-Plumb Bums.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743754

>> No.743767
File: 171 KB, 1440x1080, maxresdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743767

What do you call a duel between Doomguy with only a pistol and 1 health versus a Cyberdemon?

Cherry-Tapping Total-Rape with a side of Frags

>> No.743781

What did Crono say when the Chrono Trigger series essentially died?

Nothing.

>> No.743824

>>743767
Correction:
>What do you call a duel between Doomguy with only a pistol and 1 health versus a Cyberdemon, in the style of ordering from an old-style truck stop restaurant?

>> No.743843

Why did Mario get mad at a Koopa?

Cause he Koopa Troopa'd

>> No.743860

>>743575

solid gold

>> No.743868

>>743692

I feel happy that I get this one

>> No.743879

>>743481
holy shit ahahaha

>> No.743908
File: 20 KB, 628x278, 030_ultros.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743908

Hey, /vr/, what do you call a Japanese church?

A Praystation!

I made it up myself :3

>> No.743913

>>743393
(Because Wakka is also the name of a Final Fantasy character and the sound Pac Man makes)

>> No.743915

>>743409
(Because trying to force the door open is a sensible solution, but the "triforce" is central to the games. Triforce is a homonym for Try Force)

>> No.743918

>>743438
(Because Pokemon, from the Pokemon series, and "Poke 'em on" sound similar, that is why this joke is funny)

>> No.743920

>>743457
(Web Browser and Web Bowser sound the same so this is funny)

>> No.743923
File: 140 KB, 800x582, kukukuk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743923

Thanks to you guys we now have an Ultros infestation.

>> No.743921
File: 150 KB, 250x301, Shadow_Warrior_Coverart.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743921

Can a ninja master kick ass?
Shuriken.

>> No.743926

>>743575
>It was a smash hit!
(Because SMAAAASH hits relate to Earthbound)

>> No.743937
File: 73 KB, 501x343, kukk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743937

>>743926

>> No.743938 [DELETED] 

Why is Air Man so well known, as well as hated?

He provided too much fanservice.

>> No.743942
File: 52 KB, 160x169, top-10-mega-man-robots-20080701024738382.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743942

Why is Air Man so well known, as well as hated?

He provided too much fanservice.

>> No.743948

What did Ryu say to ken?

How do, Ken

>> No.743945

>>743942
(A fan blows air so that is how it relates to Airman)

>> No.743954
File: 44 KB, 850x627, Celes_and_Locke_by_liline.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743954

What do Celes and thieves have in common?

They both know how to pick a good lock.

>> No.743965

>>743428
Missed a perfectly good masturbation joke

>> No.743967
File: 153 KB, 800x631, 1339857323068.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743967

>>743923
>Ultros will never get his tentacles around Terra

Terra pls ;_;

>> No.743971
File: 60 KB, 501x343, kukukkuukk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743971

>>743954

>> No.743976

>>743971
I'm losing my shit with these Ultros pics

>> No.743980

What happened to Duke Nukem when Duke Nukem Forever finally got released?

His signature "Balls of Steel" rusted.

>> No.743983
File: 47 KB, 501x343, FUCK.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
743983

>>743967

RNNG

>> No.743994

A Creeper walks into a bar.

Ba-dum-tss!

>> No.743996

>>743971
>[PUN INTENSIFIES]

>> No.744018
File: 127 KB, 266x600, shaveyourlegsyoubeast.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
744018

What did Candy Kong want?

Dk.

>> No.744025
File: 35 KB, 199x167, 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
744025

>>744018

That one wasn't very good.

>> No.744021
File: 93 KB, 697x1000, Ahriman_(Final_Fantasy_III).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
744021

I'm amazed at how nobody reacts strangely to sending a party of female characters to go after Ahriman in any Final Fantasy game.

I mean, c'mon, they're a bunch of women hunting one-eyed monsters, whacking them, and getting paid for their services while at it.

>> No.744028

>>744021

What makes me feel bad is for the poor fucks that have to live on the other side of the world with level 50 monsters and behemoths.

>> No.744035
File: 12 KB, 109x96, 3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
744035

>>744025

>> No.744056

>>744025
You pronounce dk as one word and it sounds like dick. I dunno though, I guess it was better in my head, sorry.

>> No.744058

This thread reminds me of browsing gamefaqs when I was like 11

>> No.744060

>>744028
Why? Those people are fucking hardcore.

I mean, to continue living everyday life where godlike beasts often tread, and still somehow farm the resources they leave behind? Just because your characters aren't involved in combat in those locations at the same time as the residents who supply their own towns, doesn't mean they don't fetch some themselves.

To be honest, the citizens (especially in tiny, mostly self-sufficient, towns) at those ungodly powerful enemy wildernesses are probably some of the most hardcore people in any game, outside the obvious heroes/villains; provided they're not complaining about the monsters in their local area code. "Meh, another day, another eldritch horror. So, how's been your day?"

>> No.744072

>>743436
that is a rly gud joek jerri jaxon

>> No.744078

>>744072
Oh man, those shitty flashes that David Firth made? I forgot all about those

>> No.744101

>>744060

"son, don't go outside today, there's Starmen Srs outside."

>> No.744116
File: 197 KB, 351x368, 1357294457593.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
744116

>>744060

>Tonberry start walking to your farm

>> No.744123

>>744101
fucking srs, they ruin everything

>> No.744135

>>743412
This at leaste there´s still funny peopleon this place

>> No.744148

Where did the army guy in Half Life go to get food and clothing?

TARGET!

>> No.744149
File: 3 KB, 125x106, 1362978524446.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
744149

>>743412

>> No.744154

>>743781
>>743781
>>743781
This

>> No.744175

What do you get when you cross a Pirate and a Shump?

Arrrrrrr-Type

>> No.744206

>>744078
they are too good never forget

>> No.744219
File: 197 KB, 400x400, 1349202257073 (1).gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
744219

>>743379
I'M A MATERIA GIRL. IN A MATERIA WORLD.

>> No.744260

>>744175
heee hehe hehe eh eheeh

>> No.744296

Which Kong likes the current CoD games the most?

Kiddy Kong

>> No.744335

>>744175
I guess mine >>743724 was a bit too esoteric?

>> No.744508

>>743923
>>743937
>>743971
>>743983
>>744025
>>744035

I'm dead.

>> No.744536

>Grow up in level 50 enemy zone killing enemies all day
>Take their gold
>By the time you're 18 you're a billionaire
>Go live in the city with all the other rich people

>> No.745826
File: 73 KB, 235x279, 1350419472205.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
745826

>>743908

>> No.745842
File: 38 KB, 620x400, 1355070586461.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
745842

>>744072

>> No.748029
File: 114 KB, 922x920, da.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
748029

i'm bored and high as fuck, so i made shitty oc for Baldur's Gate fans

>> No.748072
File: 22 KB, 420x300, -WARNING-.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
748072

>Though Sega Bass Fishing's premise was toted as something unique bye the arcade press[4], the long running Darius[5] series was a clear influence[6][7] according to series creator King Fossil.

>> No.748103

>>743481
i dun get it

>> No.748104

>people praise kefka as the best villain ever

>his motivation is "because its fun"

Ok.

>> No.748195

>>748104
>motivation is the sole determiner of villain quality

>> No.748258

>>748029
That was so bad it made my asshole pucker

>> No.748272

>>748195

It's a pretty fucking big one to a lot of people.

>> No.748454

rare footage of /vr/ tripfag finally surfaced https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PoOhPg9VIV0

>> No.748465

>>748104
Well the previous villian in the series was an evil tree.
Contrast with other villians in the SNES counts for something.

>> No.748469

>>748454
lasted 3 minutes, I almost passed out

>> No.748478

>>748469
that intro was actually pretty good for a kid his age... must have had help

>> No.748515

>>743843
Ok, I think I do need this one explained to me

>> No.749012
File: 390 KB, 260x317, 1369419563428.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
749012

>>748454
>DOOS EX IS FRICKIN FRICK'A FRACK'A FRICK'A'DOO

I'm glad Youtube and webcams didn't exist when I was a kid.

>> No.749017

>>749012

scruffysecond.jpg

>> No.749052

>>748103
see
>>743654