/vr/ - Retro Games

>>6897927
Hey guys... Here's... Do you like impressions?
*applause*
Haha great. This is an impression - haha - this an impression of, uhm, Robert Deniro playing Super Mario Brothers?
> Ay! You talkin to me? You talking to me you little Mushroom?

Haha thanks guys. Now this is... This is... Uhm, Al Pacino playing Contra
> AY! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE S!

Hahaha thanks guys. Now this is... This is, uhm, Pee-wee... playing, uhm, Castlevania - HERE WE GO, PEE-WEE PLAYING CASTLEVANIA
> Ooooh! Ahahaha this is chicken ahahaha ooohh it's in the wall haha *pulls his nose upwards*
Thanks guys you've been wonderful hahahahahahahahahaha

....that is the dumbest "joke" I ever heard. A lot of standup comedy is just "hey I'm saying something controversial, laugh at it".

>>6897960
this was in response to OP.

>>6897960
You think killing turtles with a hammer is controversial? I'm not sure it has a lot traction right now

>>6897968
ok that's enough /vr/ for the year.

mario didn't even kill turtles with a hammer

>>6897927
In the late 80s, future Video Game magnate Shigeru Miyamoto spent roughly 7 or 8 months sojourning in the United States. He was there conducting a tryst with a local american woman who later became the visual inspiration for Princess Toadstool. Following the release of the smash-hit platformer, Mario brothers, featuring Nintendo's most popular long-running mascot, Miyamoto's profile had raised considerably. As a result, he was forced to use codenames/decknames/pseudonyms wherever he was staying. Most commonly, he used the name "Scott Foreman" because it looked completely innocuous and uninteresting on a hotel registry. This was confirmed by the then-manager of the best western motel that Shige was staying at, who said, "Well, I'd never met an oriental fellow named Scott before, but his money was still green and I afforded him the privacy I extended to all of my motel guests. I distinctly remember he was a very generous tipper, and one time even gave me tips on beating world 3 in Mario. (We had a NES at the reception desk at the time)"

>>6897981
During his stateside sojourn, Miyamoto was known to use the Scott Foreman name to indulge in one of his more deviant behaviors, hosting plus sized modeling pageants in the lobby or tangerine ballroom of whatever middle-shelf lodging he was currently living out of. Rumors say that Miyamoto had a strong affinity for natural blondes with large breasts, pouty lips and ample hips. The winner of the pageant received several thousand Yen worth of prize money, as well as a once in a lifetime opportunity to attend a private audition, in miyamoto's suite, for the coveted role of princess Toadstool. These women would become known as the "Scott Foreman Girls" and would also be lent out to japanese advertising agencies to endorse products targeted at american GIs. It's estimated that Miyamoto spent as much as $6.5 million dollars over a period of 3 years indulging his eccentricities.

>>6897986
Miyamoto would typically bill his expenses to nintendo directly, once again under the name Scott Foreman. This incensed the president of nintendo of tokyo who said on record "this scott, he lacks filial piety, and his manners are of a lower status than a cambodian's." And thus, the hunt for Scott Foreman was on. Nintendo spent the equivalent of $450,000 USD in a single year investigating the matter. Meanwhile, Miyamoto was on an unflappable hotstreak, notching one smash hit genre-defying wunderproduct after another. He was a veritable rockstar in Japan, he was the toast of the yakuza, and the toast of the salaryman alike. But things were not well in the Scott Foreman camp, unbeknownst to all but his closest confidants, Miyamoto was living a double life in the States. With mounting alimony payments, gambling debts, the walls began to close in. Piles of cash disappeared overnight, checks were coming back insolvent. Scott Foreman was at rock bottom when the dulcet tones of inspiration would strike the most profound harmonic swell of his illustrious career: he had the idea for his next game, he would combine his love of Mario with his love of defacing gardens and his love for french circus. He would call it: Mario Madness

>>6897981
See Asians are humble. If he was American he'd be an obnoxious fucking assholes like Dave Lettermen

>>6897992
After notching another all-time legendary success in his belt, Miyamoto grew ever restless. "Innovation" he said, "Innovation is my brand, how can brand grow if innovation is left to wither like cherry brossom in winter?" During one of his many trips to the united states, Miyamoto resided with one of his Scott Foreman girls to grow closer to his illegitimate son Junichiro. This culminated in a now-legendary outing at the Louisville Zoo, where Scott Foreman would be struck through the heart with divine inspiration once again. While visiting the great ape exhibit, he was taken aback by the raw personality and impishness displayed by the denizens of the exhibit: "They are much like filipinos," he added "but there is glass between us, so I am not in danger." This revelation convinced Miyamoto that consumers, too, would be similarly enthralled with the antics of their simian counterparts, provided that they were only being enjoyed through the proxy of a television screen. Throughout the rest of his stay, the idea grew on miyamoto, and he decided he could repurpose the Donkey Kong character in an action scotformer context, abandoning the horror overtones of the original character. He decided to christen this fresh concept with a fresh design. "Donkey Kong was originally gorilla salaryman, because inside every salaryman is raging beast! but oh no! monkey in suit no test well! so we settle on just tie to accent his divine animalistic fury." Nintendo accepted his final design with profound hesitation: would the game sell well outside of the philippines? would a tie be enough to justify Donkey being elected president of Donkey Kong Country? Time would prove Scott Foreman right once again.

>>6897980
Comedy fans don't tend to be nerds sorry. Still it's an honor for vr

>4 IPs
Real schizo hours. It's strange how Miyamoto manages to get the most schizoid haters.

>>6898005
>low effort post
>complaining
yeah you're really helping the board out retard.

>>6898008
>helping the board out
Where did I say I want to "help" anything? I'm here to laugh at the miyamoto-obsessed schizo.

>>6898021
>complaining just to complain
i didn't know women posted on /vr/