/vr/ - Retro Games

>>6560689
A challenger approaches.

Well, /vr/? What was his name?

>>6560712
Not Yawiga Kanawi, that's for sure.

>>6560689
https://youtu.be/yTeOjiw08AI

>>6560689
I love Bad-Cosplay Dracula.

My friends and I were all hype as absolute fuck when we saw this ad. Only people who weren't were soccer moms who thought Doom was about worshiping demons and not blowing them into gibs.

Loved how utterly screwed these kids were.

Does pinball count as whatever?

>>6560781
Ye

>>6560890
Bowser what the fuck

>>6560689

>>6560689
2/?

>>6560689
3/?

>>6560689
4/?

>>6560689
5/?

>>6560689
6/?

>>6560689
7/?

>>6561001
>>6561003

None of this is video games, but I can't tell what's wrong with these ads compared to the others. What is it?

>>6560689
8/?

>>6560689
9/?
>>6561004
doesn't have to be vidya, read the OP
>whatever ads!

>>6560689
10/?

>>6560689
11/?

>>6561010
Oh shit, those designs look like they came right out of Killer 7

>>6561004
>can't tell what's wrong with these ads
niggers

>>6560728
Konami had the goofiest fucking ads.
Also fuck off cluttering up the image limit with shit that's not retro video games. You know what OP meant. This board is called /vr/ for a reason.

Game Boy Pocket: the Plinkett Review.

>>6561021
Besides the obvious issues with the ad, it doesn't even make sense.
It's like they hired someone so incredibly horny, he took a bunch of fetish pics and called it a day.

>>6561029
It makes plenty of sense. He was doing some light bondage foreplay with his wife or gf, but then got distracted with Tetris.

>>6560689
Is it weird that my first exposure to Sonic Adventures was through a pawn shop that had a Dreamcast on display with the demo playing repeatedly?

>>6561030
Then why not make her annoyed, like in that sega ad? You know the one. She's looking away from here and looks terrified.

Imagine having a dad who wasn't a Software, Etc. Sega Superstar.
>>6561035
She's trying to look annoyed but she's a terrible actress.

I'd direct hit that.

It's hard to see with all these fucking awesome Sega Saturn graphics, but if you look really closely you'll notice there's a beautiful naked woman on this page.

>>6561039
>terrible actress
It's the camera man's fault for giving her terrible direction. All she had to do was look at the camera and make an angry/annoyed face. Anyone can do that.

>>6561045
>Anyone can do that.
You'd be amazed, anon.
Fact is we'll never know who fucked up here.

Imagine not being a real hot dog. Weenie fucking shits

>>6561021
The virgin Game Boy Advance SP vs the chad Game Boy Pocket

>>6561052
holy shit didn't see that lol

Wish I had this in higher res.

I love this game.

>>6561067
>Stevie likes to play alone even if he has no idea what's happening
>"I just love the sound of fun."

>>6561079
Audibly kek'd when I read that.
Ads need to go the based route again.

>>6560732
I guarantee you this ad would be considered iconic if Daikatana was a masterpiece.

Sometimes I forget how big FFVII's marketing was at the time.

My college roommate had a vectrex and a bunch of games and screens for it. Good times.

>>6561067

>>6561084
>funny
I really don't see how that ad wasn't anything but depressing.

>>6561097
Stevie Wonder is so successful he doesn't mind joking about his blindness. The man is a legendary musician; he's not gonna let not being able to see get him down.

Ads were better before they became sexually charged for the teenager coomer audience.
Atari ads were straight forward and didn't divide the audience. It was a product intended for all audiences. A wider market. Then the video game crash happened and it was assumed that buying out the male audience with cheap sex appeal was the only way to go.

Even the PC version got some love.

>>6561104
how do you know he's blind, ever see him in person?

>>6561106
Well said.
>>6561108
Yes, but he didn't see me.

>>6561104
It's being blind and liking video games in general that's the sad part about it. There are plenty of blind poor fucks out there and listen to their friends play, love it, and constantly have to deal with the fact they'll never be able to see it. "I love the sound of fun" is just tragic.

Finally this sick cover for that one jap ps mag.

I have a copy of Playboy with this ad.
>>6561115
I doubt he actually gives a shit about video games. Celebrities don't always care about what they're being paid to endorse.

>>6561113
what was he like in person

>>6561121
It was a long damn time ago and I was a little kid. Seemed friendly enough.

>>6561116
When Vincent is revealed for the FF7 remake, the internet is going to go into meltdown.

Genesis does what nintendon't.

>>6561123
>he's player 2
>p2's shit is being pushed in
Its the little things.

>>6561123
yeah? did you get a good look at his eyes under the sunglasses or nah?

God I miss real console wars. The petty shit on /vr/ and modern garbage is nothing compared to Sega vs. Nintendo. That shit was fun as hell.

>>6561132
Nope. I just remember thinking sunglasses were cool.

Man this one probably fucking stung considering FF7 was almost on N64, especially when the sales rolled in.

Why was game freak encouraging me to watch my freinds get DPed by Pokemon? Is this what led to Pokefuckers?

>>6561106
>it was assumed that buying out the male audience with cheap sex appeal was the only way to go.
And they were goddamn right.

>>6561106
It's mostly because it caused a huge divide. It caused a generation gap where the female audience was shitting on video games and those still playing games or wanted to were being alienated. Then puzzle games became more accessible and the surge in mobile games hit. The female market was just as prevalent as it was during the arcade age of the late 70s. Atari also had a fairly decently sized female market at the time. All those years and all that money down the drain. All because toy isles were separated and they figured kids would save the video games market.

>>6561141
Team Rocket did all the advertising.

Gotta say I like this cabinet design. Can't go wrong with gold, black, and wood paneling.

I love how arcade ads differentiated from home ads by going for "you're gonna make so fucking much money on this game".
It's the point, but it's always kind of hilarious to see.

>>6561106
>Ads were better before they became sexually charged for the teenager coomer audience.
Here's the first commercial video game. There was never a "before they became sexually charged".

>>6561106
>The female form fucking disgusts me
Cool story bro.

Fucking kek never seen this one.

Hillary no!

I'm remembering an ad with some neon blue vampire bloodying up somebody but I can't find it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Might not be /vr/ but was definitely for a videogame.

>>6560781
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGCScm4lecQ
pinballmap.com

I love this one. Nude codes for consoles were infamous in the 90s because of course they mostly didn't exist and that never stopped 12 year olds like me from believing them.

I have no idea why Forsaken got an M rating looking back. I played a bit of it but it just didn't have anything in it that other T rated games didn't have.

>>6561185
Pretty sure this is another jab but I could be overthinking it

>>6561115
There are plenty of games for blind people. Audiogames, they're called. Also, a lot of blind people play roguelikes with screen readers. The screen reader talks so fast, it beggars belief that they can follow.

>>6561181
Not quite neon blue, but it sounds like the Soul Reaver ad.

>>6561184
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuPB8N_gGbo

>>6561106
I'd tell you how I feel about that, but this ad said it better.

>>6561164

That ad failed horribly and was not targeted to home consumers. And wasn't the first video games ad either. Not only did this ad fail because it was trying to copy "booth babes" from car shows, it did so poorly and wasted so much money they tried to reprint it with actual specifics on what made their arcade system better than date quiz cabinets at low resolution and was frankly laughable.
The advertising campaign for the Odyssey is what became the big breakthrough for video games. And it was always advertised as the console anyone could enjoy. "Something for the whole family".

>>6561203
Shit, I think that's it. Thanks, Anon. I remember seeing it in some videogame magazine my bro got. I got so spooked I gave it back immediately.

>>6561214
I think I'd just hit my early edgelord phase when I saw that ad. I got hype because it turned out you'd end up doing that exact move all the time.
>>6561210
Not my point. My point is that sexual advertising in video games is nearly as old as video games themselves. Hell, Pinball was just as famous for it. That ad didn't work because it was vague, not because of the woman.

>>6561071

JEAN-PAUL GASSE, NO!

>>6561220
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvsSYcXTbLE

>>6561229
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNj9IjjfA2g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=US-lyfBSK9I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-aXynZIiM0
The birth of a legend.

>Hey, they ought to know
Goddamn savage.
Ironically my sister loves this game and Double Switch.

https://youtu.be/YAHa9-1Pxlc?t=22

kek imagine being that dumbass

If you haven't fucked at 17 then you will never fuck.

I can imagine Santa knowingly laugh at what would very soon happen to Sega Channel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZQwzKnlMRA

>>6561141
>watch 'em spit-roast your best friend
oh myy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUgY7qkrOns&list=PLirSddeMOYZ5Q9bn5U5HsCamkM0ZTC2n8
It's amazing how many of these games don't have TV commercials that I can find.

>>6561220
>>6561229
I'm still in love with her bros

>>6561281
Me too, anon. Me too.

Gravis PC GamePad.
https://twitter.com/GameMagPrintAds/status/1222429360407355392

Microsoft Flight Simulator 5.1.
https://twitter.com/Foone/status/916801334224891905

Super Street Fighter II Turbo.
https://twitter.com/lazygamereviews/status/1224877318453321728

>>6561162
what gun is that

>>6561084
>>6561079
it's not a real ad

>>6561292
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqn2D8mRv0E

>>6561164
is that really the whole ad?
it doesn't even explain what the fuck it is, did they expect people to understand something which is literally the first of it's kind?

>>6561206
did they seriously just liken their product to chlamydia?

>>6561442
Just the title. It's a joke. The 90s told a lot of jokes.

>>6561720
still, i mean, it's a weird thing to reference when advertising a kids game, literally what kind of kid will get that? they'll just see two adults kissing and be all "what does this have to do with the game?"

>>6561731
Fact is, it was aimed at adults. A lot of games were. By that time kids weren't nearly the only target audience. They knew who actually had the money to buy games, and it wasn't kids.

>>6561735
A lot of game ads* were.

>>6561735
no, but it was still typically kids who picked games to ask their parents for
some parents probably did go looking for suitable games, but in my experience parents let their kids pick what they wanted, and only then evaluated their cost or age rating

>>6560781
Ah yes, Doc Beige and Martin McFilet

>>6561750
Oh yeah, you're not wrong there. And Klonoa was an extreme case of a pretty common trend at the time. Imagine being part of an ad team and your boss is telling you to market this shit to adults, using edgy humor to keep up with the trends. There's no hot chick in the game so you're wracking your brains and eventually think to yourself "Fucking Klonoa. Sounds like a goddamn venerial disease. You know what fuck it, I'll spin that." Then the boss OK's it because he was told somewhere that incongruousness sticks with the subconscious and they need that ad on shelves yesterday, so who gives a shit. The fine print tells you about the game anyway.

>>6561771
sounds plausible, maybe you're right that they did it like that, but i would argue they shouldn't have
afaik klonoa was not a very well known game

>>6561783
Of course they shouldn't have, not with a game like Klonoa. A campaign like that would work fine on games that were actually edgy enough to work. Something closer to Doom than what was essentially Tails the Game.

>>6560689
>painting Yuji Naka to be like Miyamoto
lmao

>>6561043
Hah, I remember this and I'm pretty sure I fapped to it.

>>6561771
90s Mad Men spinoff when.

>>6561064
No, I haven't touched it

>>6561209
Hello, based department?

>>6561303
Jesus that aged like milk

>>6561306
I hope they make a Dumb III

>>6561164
There's nothing sexual about that, the feet are hideous and the lady is too old.

>>6563690
>the feet are hideous
All fucking footfags must fucking hang.

>>6561439
They expected curiosity. The Shining trailer similarly said nothing and was extremely effective. Not that this one worked but there's a right way to vague advertising.

>>6563698
You don't need to be a footfag to find something that hideous a turnoff.

>>6563690
>>6563943
How about the fact that you can see underwear through the dress? Oh right, you were inspecting the ankles.

>>6561303
That's the most '90s ad imaginable

>>6561303
mm, the pungent odor of finely aged milk

>>6561209
Absolutely based ad

According to Steven Levy's Hackers, the women on the ad are Roberta Williams and a couple of Sierra's secretaries, the waiter was an actual waiter from a restaurant near their offices.

>>6566525
Definitely Williams on the right. She's got an odd cuteness about her.

Now this one's so edgy I've gotta spoiler it. You've been warned.

>original tenderfoot wojack blown the fuck out

The fuck is up with these niggas heads lmao

>>6563704
This is a good example. Even if you'd somehow never heard of the movie, the simple challenge to take on the greatest pirate of all time combined with that striking hook dominating the page is fantastic.

Radeon 64MB DDR is so fast we will literally rake your face across barbed wire.

This tagline would've nicely tied in with Souls games considering their features literally having you call for help with bosses and invaders.

This one's so good I can't believe it wasn't a poster for one of the movies.

I love how this one looks like a Final Fight ad.
I also love how Street Fighter is a better title for Final Fight and vice versa.

>>6561048
What did Midway mean by this?

>>6567395
Teenage Mutant Ninja Blobfish

>>6563954
It's about the whole package, bro.
Would you eat a delicious steak if it was served with a side of shit?
>Food analogy
I don't give a fuck, lol.

>>6567445
Read the bottom right text. Damn, so cheesy.

>>6567480
>footfag thinks shit is food
Checks out.

>>6567513
Would've been actually passable if they put it in a bun. As it is it just looks like they're telling me to be a weenie.
Pretty sure both of these were worked on by the same guy, though. They're too damn similar not to have been.

>>6567440
Seeing that ass is like seeing an old friend.

>>6561392
Feels like it's lacking double entendres compared to Scared Stiff. Still, though, it's cool that they got Elvira on video and that dracula guy's voice actor seems to be back. Really like the b-movie music and clips too. I'd play it.

>>6567434
So this is where Yu got the idea for Shenmue

>>6567881
heh yeah I see it

>>6560712
Yawiga Kanawi

>>6561191
This is in dire need of a real, worthy, update.

>>6567881
Well Virtua Fighter was Sega's answer to Street Fighter, which led to the creation of Shenmue, which was suppose to be a Virtua Fighter RPG game, but it ended up being it's own thing.

>>6569508
All kind of came around.

>>6561392
How the fuck is she still this hot? Makeup can only go so far. This woman is a literal goddess.

>>6569982
Get a load of these goons.
Of all the games to choose not to take the sexy route in their advertising and Accolade picked fucking Elvira.

Been wanting to play these. They seemed legitimately fun.

>>6569990
>Free Elvira poster in every game
I will now purchase your game.

>>6561263
This game is bad ass. I still pick it up and play it.

How much Wipeout did you snort back in the day?

>>6561106
>>6561210
Ok cuckold

>>6561172

i want to scream thats how bad i wanna go back. imagine her day when shooting for that advertisement, she got all dressed up, got paid without giving up her goods, went back home with money and fucked her bf/husband, in the 90s no less, imagine if it were the 80s, even better.

we gotta go back.

>>6560712
Boo Radley

>>6561034
Why did Sega Europe brand their audience as coomers?

>>6561094
>be me
>old as fuck by internet standards
>shopped at Sears my whole life
>until recently there was literally nothing wrong with it
>unironically ordered shit out of the catalogs for christmas
>watched zoomers cheer its demise because they're all amazonfaggots
>rip in pieces

it'll happen to all of you one day, time waits for no brand

>>6561162
>>6561162
Why the fuck did the Aliens arcade game get ported to literally nothing ever? It was a good game. You can buy final fight on like 57 different consoles but not this?

>>6570316
>>6561034
Obviously they Sega Europe had a guy who liked making dick jokes.
Those could've been in adult magazines, too.
>>6570310
I feel you, anon, and you're not alone. Seems like a growing number of people either want to go back or want to experience what we had for the first time.
>>6570249
One of my favorites. There's nothing really like it besides Road Rash, and even that isn't the same.

>>6570350
Same thing that happened to a lot of arcade beat em ups after the early 90s; they were too advanced to port to home consoles without being severely altered, and then seen as too outdated once 3D became the hot new thing by 1995.

>>6561145
>Atari also had a fairly decently sized female market at the time. All those years and all that money down the drain
wow just think how many incels could've gotten laid if it wasn't for e.t.

>>6560728
I'll give 'em this, they stepped up the cosplay over the years.

>>6561036
>That Fallout Ad
I adore this ad because even though none of those enemies appear in the game, I do imagine the artist was trying to replicate the feeling of a random encounter and being surrounded by Ghouls and Super Mutants near the end of the game. I kinda wish I knew who drew this, because it's pretty fucking rad.

>>6561042
to own this PC now, brand new. Man.

>>6572060
I remember there was this New Vegas mod that made the wasteland look more like this. I don't think they were aware of the ad, but it was a shitload dustier and more dangerous. It's the kind of wasteland game I'd want to see in the modern day. Excellent art.

>>6570331
Fuck that hit hard.

3D Lemmings.
https://twitter.com/textfiles/status/1279817305686450176

>>6561080

Neo Geo was GOAT

I had an entire AES collection I sold in the mid 00s

>>6576173
first thought with that ad is; why didn't they compose the same guy multiple times? being all the same seems to be the idea

>>6576315
I mean they're still individual lemmings.

>>6567445
Yeah, should've been a dog in a bun with mustard or whatever.

>>6577342
sure, though the lemming all look identical in the game (until you change their type)

>>6578751
In the game, yes, but this ad is also a clear parody of the white collar working class. While every man in the photograph is at a close inspection an individual, their dress, demeanor, and style are still identical. As such they lose their identity, becoming corporate lemmings (it can even be argued that the game itself is a light commentary on such conformity, even if I personally wouldn't argue that). It says it all right in the tagline: "Be an individual. Join the masses." Despite what the tweet thinks, this is actually an incredibly strong ad that absolutely fits the overall theme of the game while subtly selling what makes Lemmings 3D stand out from Lemmings, namely using the 3D glasses. Those glasses combined with the green hair (a reference to the creatures of the game) give the whole thing a light ironic punk aesthetic contrasting with the stiff Wall Street look.
The ad also understands that Lemmings has been popular for four years running by this point, and that next to everyone who plays video games knows about it. Consequently they opt to show reviews of the new 3D edition rather than the footage itself, which frankly wasn't all too exceptional.
I wouldn't say this is the perfect ad or anything--there was some room for a couple of screenshots I guess--but I will say as ads go it's really good.

>>6578751
>>6578804
Should quickly clarify. The reason I feel they used multiple subjects over one subject pasted over and over is for a few reasons. One is personal preference; perhaps the photographer found it easier to spray 8 dudes' hair green, stick some glasses on them, and take the shot over cutting and pasting or taking 8 separate pictures and combining them.
Thematically I feel it works better, fitting the contrast of masses and individual. The photographer chose to show individuals as a societal mass, rather than a single individual as an artificial mass. Again, this is a well thought out advertisement. Definitely not an example of "fuck it, let's see what sticks" that pretty much dominated a lot of game advertising.

>>6571946
lol I remember that.

>>6561071
Has anyone ever researched the story of this one? Who took the pic, who was the model, what were they aiming for?

>>6580995
There was a popular poster in the 70s called Tennis Girl. The ad was based on that.

>>6561071
>>6581357
That's kind of neat.

>>6561828
This one fits. Goemon's always been comedy.

>>6561048
The fucking size of the pads on that thing

>>6583095
Those are arcade sticks. Neo Geo was primarily aimed at bringing the arcade experience to the home more specifically than other consoles. It's a treasure for fighting games.

>>6561081
Who thought Sword of Sodan was good enough to port?

>>6583105
I remember seeing ads for it but I never knew anyone that owned one. I've seen some of the carts are worth a fortune

>>6583105
Interesting that the pads are marked SNK, I never knew they had anything to do with hardware

>>6583152
The SNK was Neo Geo's foray into the console market.
>>6583149
The main reason behind its market failure is that the console was $650 and a hefty percentage of its library was fighting games along with other arcade ports. It was an expensive niche machine and, while goddamned brilliant for what it was, paid the price for its focus.

>>6583164
>The SNK was Neo Geo's foray
kek reverse that.
The Neo Geo was SNK's foray into the console market.

Final Fantasy VII for Microsoft Windows.
https://twitter.com/dosnostalgic/status/1226290112348262401

>You've got to be a damn good programmer to work on Final Fantasy VII® for Windows 95®.
Makes sense, the port was made with beta source code because Squaresoft never bothered to make a back up of the gold source code.

>>6572156
>I remember there was this New Vegas mod that made the wasteland look more like this. I
What mod exactly? I really wanna see that style replicated in game.

>>6583467
Only Duke Nukem could play that console I guess

>>6585364
Interesting they took that route, pointing out that programming the game was the real challenge. Could've been a friend of one of the people who had to deal with porting the game. Seems specific enough to be a small shout out.

>>6561280
I never had a snes but I always wanted to play that one because it reminded me of Solstice.
oh, wait Solstice, Equinox... I wonder why I never noticed that, had to google it to confirm it was a sequel...

>>6561826
>You'll know why the Japanese sent us cars and VCRs. But kept the software for themselves
kino ad
Also I played all of those, including Metal and Lace 2.

>>6560781
LMAO... who are those dopes?

Incredible Crisis.
https://vgprintads.tumblr.com/post/166380600806

>>6586979
Paul Faris, the designer of this and many tables, I think is dressed like Doc Brown. His son, Brad Faris is definitely the guy dressed like Marty.

>>6587084
Excellent ad. One of my favorites. Reminds me of the National Lampoon "buy this or we kill the dog" ad.

>>6576173
Are we not men?

>>6576315
Because fuck you

>>6587996
We are Lemmings!

>>6587989
Thought the same thing. Linking so we won't hit image limit.
https://i1.wp.com/www.interesly.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/7301cover_l.jpg

>>6578804
What a mess this game was. Totally wasted potential and a massive knee-jerk reaction to the then-trend of "fuck everything, we need to go 3D at any price, everyone's doing it"
Gone is the ease of the 2D Lemmings. You're just constantly wrestling with the 3D Camera and its placement. Shame, since the graphics are actually charming in a goofy way and the soundtrack is half-decent.

>>6588014
Well you have to give them it was a push forward. There's a right way to make a game like Lemmings in 3D. I can't fault them for trying to find it, even if they failed.

>>6581357
Tennis girl does have the more iconic ass

>>6561042
Love Falcon NW. I have a FragBox that needs a new PSU.

>>6561048
NEC really had something with the PCE when they released that.

>>6561134
Was Sega calling Nintendo, dogs?

>>6567384
You look good in Black because that's all you'll see in DOOM64

Picked it up again and immediately remembered why I never got very far in it. WHAT IN THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING!?

>>6567413
I have one of those cards. Also finally found my Creative Geforce 256 DDR that I've been looking for, for years.

>>6567445
Yea yae...... Wooo wooo woooo. Wo wo w owo wo oah aaha oaha ohwowo ow wo wooow owwhwoh wohhwo hwowhowh wow how hwohw owh owh wowh owhw

>>6589962
No. They were calling Nintendo players colorblind retards, functionally no better than housepets.

>>6590315
Kek.