/vr/ - Retro Games

It's like, a metaphor for the cycle of death and rebirth.

Just when Mario thinks he's reached the princess at last (nirvana), it turns out he has to go through four more levels again (representing the four stages of life: childhood, young adult hood, middle age, and old age), over and over.

Toad is basically telling Mario point blank that he has yet to reach enlightenment and end his grievous cycle.

>>528270
Let's get some Zelda in here

>>528323

Dig Dug, Spelunker and Mr. Driller represent the symbolic return to the maternal figure's womb.

bowser was a fetus

you had to pull down a flag (i.e., give a handjob to a penis) at the end of every level and fireworks would go off (ejaculation)

then you had to go deep within bowser's castle (vagina) to kill the fetus (bowser)

hand me my psychology degree, please

>Kickle Cubicle is a psychological construct of a widow whose husband solves puzzles but is dead irl in real life
>lrn2collegelit

>>528325
I must have missed the owl text that explained how enemies don't perceive time while they're stunned.

Metroid seems like you are trying to escape from hell and the bosses you fight are demons, that also explains why there is a time bomb at the end.

>>528454
It doesn't?

>>528454
There's a bomb in hell and you have to escape it?

>>528454
You need to make less posts when you're high. It may seem deep to you, but it's stupid to the rest of us.

>>528391
Goddamn it, shit like this is why I keep coming to this site. Bravo anon.

>>528454
Metroid is the concept of 'limbo' or purgatory. Samus has just died, and must reach 'salvation' before time runs out. The Chozo represent Christianity, and Mother Brain is satan. Everyone else represents jews.

>>528490
get off the pipe

these are really stretching.

>>528490
>everyone else represent jews
this is true.

>>528480
Don't speak for the entire board, I thought his post was cool and interesting. Fuck what you thought.

>>528546
Your tripfag has the word princess in it

this means your opinion can be ignored

>>528546
Fuck off feminist scum.

Really guys? Lets not devolve this thread any further.
Fuck I wish I had something mindfuck to add to this conversation.
Ill just post this image in lieu of actual content.

>>528454
You fight aliens not demons, metroid was heavily influenced by the alien movie to further prove that

http://metroid.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_similarities_between_Metroid_and_Alien

>>528590
So was Doom.

>>528625
I'll back this up by saying Doom demons were going to be aliens at one point, and there is narrator dialogue that mentions them as aliens.

>>528546
I only speak for the rationally thinking and the logically inclined.

Time bomb hell isn't a thing.

Sonic the Hedgehog is actually a pro-agricultural propaganda piece inspired by Thomas Jefferson's writing.

Sonic is a young animal associated with the earth (just as farmers are "people of the soil")
who begins in a rural area (Green Hill) and ends in a heavily industrialized city (Scrap Brain). The Badniks represent the dangerous Industrialist ideology which Sonic (and America) must destroy to free the honest people of the soil to fulfill their destiny.
Robotnik is a caricature of Teddy Roosevelt who not represents rampant industry but eugenically-inclined governments interfering with the natural growth of America.

Alpha Centauri.
There was no intentional, direct sabotage on board the colony ship destined for Alpha Centauri. It was just a combination of all the bad ideas that Earth had accumulated that doomed them:
Use untested equipment, for science.
Cut corners on materials to save money.
Treat the work force like slave labor.
Regiment the work force like soldiers.
Don't bother reading the manuals.
Be distracted from the job by relationships.
Make sure everything is a logistical nightmare buried under piles of paper busywork.

>>528325
Completely false when you take Majora's Mask into consideration.
>the pirates that guard the zora eggs do the same trick
>time is exactly how you left it
>If they really stunned Link, why didn't they choose to kill him or attack instead of running away?

>>528717

huh, never thought of it that way

>>528685
Unless he meant time bomb was a metaphor for doomsday clock in which after it's detonated the gateway to hell is opened to all time and space?

nah that nigga just high as fuck

>>528321
OP here.
Oh my. more like 3deep5me. But rather interesting.
Many thanks,

>>528454
>that also explains why there is a time bomb at the end.

No, it doesn't. It doesn't explain that at all.

The Legend of Zelda was about rape.

In the first cave you enter, which is shaped like a vagina, you acquire a wooden sword which symbolizes an erect penis (Woody). You "ejaculate" by firing sword beams and the monster represent different aspects of rape, such as Octorocks with giant mouths (oral rape), Darknuts who can only be damaged from behind (anal rape), and Dogondos who you feed bombs to (spiking drinks and raping them). Link even commits necrophilia when he uses his penis sword to kill ghosts and undeads such as Ghinis, Gibdos, and Stalfos.

Every sword is provided by an Old Man. These elderly men form a patriarchy where they provide Link with larger, stronger penises for him to rape more thoroughly, thuy providing a rape culture that justifies his actions.

You also rape doors with penis shaped keys. The magic key has a loop shaped like a lion's head, where the lion is shaped like a penis head with the mane being the foreskin. As the foreskin makes rape more efficient, so the the key help in unlimited door oppression.

The dungeons have a striking resemblance to vaginas. As Link plunders them with the intention of violating them. In the heart of each dungeon is a piece of the Triforce which comes to symbolize virginity. Link makes it his mission to take the virginities of these unexplored dungeons and defile them with penis gear. In Zelda 2, Link plants his seed in the dungeons, in the form of 6 magical "crystals".

>>528870


The fairies that Link collects are also molested to acquire hearts. As you notice in the first two games, fairies disappear when Link acquires them, never to be seen again. This is because Link eats these fairies and rapes them. In Zelda II, the woman in red and the old lady provide Link with consensual sex whenever he demands it. After the intercourse he proceeds to rape them

Ganon represents the antithesis of female beauty, looking like a hambeast. Link kills him because he sees no value in those not beautiful enough to be worthy of rape. Once slain, he proceeds to cut down the flames to reach Zelda, with the flames representing gonorrhea which is really nasty and hurts a lot. Link doesn't care because he can use potions to heal, with the potions being penicillin and Viagra. The second to last boss is Thunderbird, who is invincible. He obviously symbolizes one of those reverse condoms with the spikes in it that you put in your vagina to avoid being raped. Of course Link has the one bane that negates his invulnerability, the Thunder spell, which is some sort of special counter-anti-rape condom with hooks on the outside where it hooks onto the spikes and disarms and pulls out the anti rape spike condom thing so he can take it on and proceed with yet another rape.

The final boss in Zelda 2 is Dark Link. Considering the crystals being Link's seed as earlier mentioned, Dark Link symbolizes the son of Link, a child produced by rape. In the battle, Link teaches his son how to rape, thus passing the penis baton to him to complete the cycle again in his father's footsteps.

With this in mind, it's clear that Yoshi's Island fucking sucked and only nostalgiafag hipsters liked it.

>>528902
Oh you fucking bastard, you got me.

Zelda is so racist. The good guys are all white blond-haired Aryan types, and the bad guy is a brown-skinned man with a pronounced nose.

Other races like gorons and zora are considered "good" because they submit to the Hylians.

Not the gerudo, though. Nope. They want to be independent and refuse to be dominated, therefore they are "evil."

Say, doesn't Hylian kinda sound like Aryan?

Ganon wants to create "a world of darkness," because obviously a world not ruled by white people = darkness and chaos amirite?

Link is the chosen hero because he has the blood of ancient Hylian warriors. He's a hero because of his blood? In other words, he's automatically the hero because his ancestors are white?

Master Sword, huh? Is that like the master race?

The Triforce is a KKK symbol.

The final boss of Zelda 2 is Shadow Link, who is exactly like Link except he is black.

Nice pointy hat, Link. Was KKK-mart having a sale?

>>529069
>Nice pointy hat, Link. Was KKK-mart having a sale?