/vr/ - Retro Games

What, besides the obvious Superman 64?

I don't really play a lot of shitty games on purpose. Oh wait, Trio the punch.

>>3938396
>Trio the punch.
That's the kind of fun bad game I'm looking for!

>>3938401
Nice.

Watch some AVGN or something.

SQIJ for the ZX Spectrum. If computer games don't count (and I wouldn't blame you if they didn't), Street Combat or Spiderman & X-Men for the SNES.

>>3938396
>>3938401
Trio the Punch is considered kusoge????

i like data east a little too much to where i'd probably consider all their trash novelties, even Edward Randy

>>3938426
>Edward Randy

It's how we got Gunstar Heroes you fag.

>>3938426
Trio the punch is definitely considered kusoge by even the original developers.

>>3938426
>Edward Randy
Top quality kusoge.

>>3938418
Sqij is more fun to read about than "play" but the other too sound good.

Stargazer

TG16 Impossimole

>>3938390
>doesn't know the definition of literal

Fuck off millenial

>>3938483
It's correct.

>>3938492
Literal Kusoge as in not figuratively Kusoge?

>>3938454
seriously, i don't know what i was expecting from this game

played it with a friend and it was a jank piece of crap that resembled a cheap stage production. there are way better games that came before it, so the person who hyped it up for me was probably just good with words.

it's a quarter muncher that unfortunately has an exciting premise and good sound/visuals, that must be why people are fond of it

>>3938390
Got you covered

Hong Kong 97

>>3938540
Not a real game.

>>3938547
Okay, if bootlegs don't count, then Super Monkey Daibouken.

what's that terrible game about being a guy with a whip that swings on shit

>>3938563
Mario

>>3938568
It had a really great cheesy name like Dick Dangerfuck or something, god what was it

I think it might have actually been a Capcom game

>>3938547
Imaginary? What is the image then?

>>3938390
tried this?

>>3938589
>DISSING ON HUGO
frogg off

>>3938587
I mean officially, it's a homebrew distributed in rom form only

>>3938575
Earnest Evans?

>>3938390
You might as well watch the AVGN on youtube if you're seriously looking for recommendations on bad games. I don't find all of them as bad as he portrays them (like TMNT and Castlevania 2) but most of them are so bad they hurt you by simply watching footage of it. If not there's plenty of other ways to find bad games.

I don't know why you would go out of your way to play bad games unless you want to play them and pretend you found some "hidden gems" or whatever bullshit word hipsters use to make themselves feel superior to other gamers to make some YT videos yourself and make money of that and making the retro games market even more fucked up than it was before. Wait, that wasn't actually your intent, was it?

Kusoge that is so bad that it's good: Soul Fighter on the Dreamcast.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzI5BzKPqnc

>>3938728
>I don't know why you would go out of your way to play bad games unless you want to play them and pretend you found some "hidden gems" or whatever bullshit word hipsters use to make themselves feel superior to other gamers to make some YT videos yourself and make money of that and making the retro games market even more fucked up than it was before. Wait, that wasn't actually your intent, was it?
The fuck nigger. I just want to have a laugh, like watching a bad movie.

>>3938736
>The fuck nigger. I just want to have a laugh, like watching a bad movie.
This. Games like Cheetahmen and the like are funny as hell.

Remember when this game was a meme on /v/?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4shac02_ks

Not quite a Giana Sisters level clone.

>>3938742
It's single screen like Hudson Mario Bros.

>>3938743
Yep. Those sound effects too.

Still the greatest soundtrack of all time.
https://youtu.be/qneFuPjiVVo

>>3938417
He's gonna

>>3938426
I too love every fuckin stupid Data East game.
I can't think of a game deliberately funny and stupid as a kusoge.

>>3938589
That's kamige

>>3938390
>he worst retro game you can think of
>kusoge

I don't think you have any understanding of the phrase Kusoge

>>3938459
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYCts4_bJ64&t=10m22s

>>3938845
take you back to the past

>>3938390
http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/nes/w20-1.htm

Super Pitfall
Dr Chaos
8-Eyes

Megaman 1 and 3 for the pc

>>3938390
This is an adventure game where you need to search around to find items you need to solve puzzles.

But the items are so hidden and the graphics so janky you usually can't even see the thing you're looking for on screen. I remember finding a wrench completely at random when searching an alley.

Every time you look and don't find anything the game freezes and your character says "I can't do that!" or "I can't do anything!". You will hear that phrase hundreds or thousands of times if you plan to "play" all the way through.


Ohh, and if you want to save your game make sure you have a memory card set aside just for it. It requires an entire, empty memory card just for a single save file.

The movie it's based on is pretty awesome though.

>>3938907
Isn't it literally "shit game" in Japanese?

Steven Seagal Is: The Final Option

>>3938969
>8-Eyes
YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

>>3938390

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sppquTzh2Uc

This is my go-to video when I'm feeling down.

>>3938390
looking for some video ideas, anon?

>>3938390
Hoshi wo Miru Hito. One of the worst and most bullshit rpgs ever.

>>3938390
And now, The Cheetahmen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jiw_pKd9Cws

>>3940658
You're so cynical.

Fist

I don't know if it counts but there's always Big Rigs...

>>3942296
Damn this is a really good mash-up.

>>3938726
YES. What a piece of hot garbage.

>>3938390
Metal Mech (NES)

Most disappointing thing I have ever played.

>>3938390
Maka Maka (Riddled with bugs and not properly tested)
Stargazer (Known as a legendary shit game)

Play Pepsiman

>>3943936
You shut your mouth bitch.

90's Mortal Kombat clones are best of the worst games out there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ade9hmVbDbI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oantDTxiLG4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EGUGDArhtE

I am convinced there isn't a single retro game as bad as this.

>>3944029
Not Retro.

>>3938739
To this day, I don't understand why people like watching bad movies or playing bad games, I think it's a sort of humor you have to be born with. For example, I had a friend in college who insisted we watch some movie about killer birds that had the production quality of a junior high student with windows movie maker (seriously, the birds were static animations played on a filmed background while the rest of the movie was live action with rubber birds just thrown at people to emulate an attack), he thought it was absolutely hilarious, and I was just bored to tears.

>>3938536
dude why, the speech synth is fun and pac-man is fun

>>3938390
Takeshi's Challenge

>>3944029

That game is fun for a playthrough, not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

>>3944342
You have to go in with an open imagination.

I find it fun to play kusoge and watch questionable movies because it's fun to imagine what the people who were making this were trying to do but may have not had the money/time/skill to pull off. Sometimes you end up with some ideas that are genuinely creative due to the limitations, art from adversity in a way, and that can make it a gem in it's own way.
Being able to apply your own imagination makes these thing feel more personal as well. Filling those gaps yourself. Its hard to do such thing with products that are extremely refined/polished since you're already seeing the full realization of what the creator.

Not saying it's for everyone or trying to convert you, but giving some insight on why it's enjoyable for me at least.

>>3943995
Bloodsorm looks like a shitty DOS game.

>>3938390
Hypercycles

Extreme Paintbrawl for PC.

>>3943995
Add Pit Fighter to that

How the fuck hasn't anybody mentioned this yet?

>>3945960
Fuck you, anon, I had almost repressed the memory of that game.

>>3945960
because only ecelebs think its bad.

>>3944446
I honestly think that anyone who had fun with that boring as fuck piece of shit is at least semi-retarded. There's zero challenge, it's either walking empty hallways whipping the glowing "platform spots" or stuck in an arena doing the same two combos over and over.

>>3938589

Game Players gave this game a 0 for a reason.

Starshot on the N64. There's not a single enjoyable thing about the game

>>3938390
Wild Woody for Sega CD

>>3938390

Any game with "Cho Aniki" in its name?

>>>AMAZINGLY EXCITING!

Mortal Kombat 1 for Gameboy

Paris Dakar Rally Special

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEtMES2ru-A

>>3938390
Home Alone, SNES.
/thread

>>3947737
reminded me of these desu
Utsurun Desu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6jJISOINrQ
Takeshi's Challenge
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6MIlJYiJUs

>>3938726
Literally what I was going to post in this thread. Technically impressive, musically fucking fantastic, but it's just a dumb puppet man phys-flinging himself through hellish levels with Turrican's health system.

I've grown to love/abuse its quirks and enjoy it a ton, though. You can wallclimb/jump off any flat surface, angling your half-a-screen whip for a bit of extra damage is fun, and there's an Indy hat hidden in a wall that gives you a fucking laser whip, if you can find it.

They found a prototype recently with a previously removed intro - my preferred version, now.

>>3947740
I had that when I was a kid.
one time I made it to the sewer level with a bunch of pipes.

>>3938390

abadox
hydlide

>>3938749
>made in venezuela
>nicolas maduro was a bus driver

was this some sort of socialist brainwashing video game? does that explain the hypnotic, disorienting music?

>>3938390
Literal Kusoge you say?

The Commodore 64 version of Hard Drivin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntEz4o5eq7k

Alternatively, The A-Team: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJMdfUBNHUs

>>3952160
Why is that playing the Star Wars theme?

>>3944342
Well, if you'd ever like to take another stab at truly appreciating total crap, try watching an older episode of the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 television show. (I made no promises whatsoever about the entertainment/quality of the new reboot with Felicia Day in it.)

>>3938390
ultraman on snes it was released in aus and it was the first game i rented for my mint snes, there is no coming back from that

>>3950330
>abadox
Explain further

>>3952141
That's a lot of poop

Bebe's kids

>>3943926
i hated...

>>3947534
for some reason it got a mega cd release as well
and it is equally bad
opening had promise though

>>3947534
Beat me to it. Fuck this game.

>>3952141
Japanese people sure love poo.

>>3938563
Super Casualvania IV?

>>3938974
I thought its presentation had some charm when I played it, but that was admittedly almost two decades ago. The movie is great.

>>3939261
It seems like they accidentally invented a new music genre: ooh-core.

>>3950445
>does that explain the hypnotic, disorienting music?
The music in that so-called game is random. Like, it's literally sound(random(range)+minimum_freq).

>>3938390
https://youtu.be/VAOd25bT6Ik

titus the fox (gameboy)

E.T.

>>3938390
I really can't believe atlantis no nazo wasn't suggested.

It has what may be the worst jump ever programmed in any video game. It's balls to the walls hard and completely fair. Made worse is the game is a huge maze and requires absolutely obscure means that are never explained to you in order to get the true ending. It may sound weird but I actually enjoy playing it like myst or yume nikki and just kind of walking around. Every time I play I find new levels and weird occurences, its really something to experience. Do play with rewind though if you just want to explore, the game is very cheap.

>>3957461
I at least respect it for being pretty novel for its time. Someone once described it as being like a time traveler went back to try to explain to the developers what a Metroidvania was but he didn't have enough time to fully explain it and didn't speak Japanese and they ended up just trying to make their best interpretation of what he was talking about.

>>3957523
That's a very good way to describe it. After watching Arino struggle with this game I've been wondering if letting the player move in the air SMB-style would fix most of the frustrations when playing it. I should try to mod it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh0iWBk63hs

>>3957461
>completely fair.
Do you mean the jumps or the game in general? Either way, I disagree. Most jumps and most levels are fair, sure, but some of most difficult jumps in the game are unfair (you can't see where you're jumping) and some of the most difficult moments in the game are the same (you've got to have a flashlight or a star).

>>3947940
That looks kinda awesome, desu

>>3958992
Sorry, I meant unfair. That game is the last thing I would call fair.

>>3945960
Because it's at least playable

>>3957391
Too easy an answer.

High tech expressions

>>3942965
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ItNRlV_llM

Jesus

>>3961672
Looks better than Fighter Maker for ps1. Saturn is superior.

>>3938536
why does it say shit on the cover? this is a real game?

>>3961975
different times

>>3947712
This is probably an example of game being severely outdated. It would be cool if we could agree on 1 game being the absolute worst though.

>>3944437
probably because kusoge literally means shit game

>>3938418
Is there anything worthwhile on the Spectrum?

>>3939261
Love the Inigo Montoya ripoff speech at the start.

>>3961672
Why do Japanese voice actresses insist on using squeaky saccharine voices? Only the third girl sounds tolerable.

>>3962428
I don't know but I find it annoying too. I'm glad most retro games didn't have voices.

>>3939215
'Red pill' (for lack of a better term) me on 8-Eyes. I love Classicvania and am perfectly open to clones, but I couldn't get into 8-Eyes. Mega Man style level select and a bird companion seem cool.

>>3962437

When you take the red pill it causes you to shit your pants. The blue one reverses the anal flow and sucks it back up inside of you.

Tin Star SNES

>Recommend me the worst retro game you can think of.

Any Nintendo game, because Nintendo excels at being for babies and man children who run away when they see blood because they are immature babyfags and can't handle a deep, dark, serious game like I can. Sega and Sony had games that reflected the inner darkness of my soul from having two Christmases since my parents were divorced, while Nintendo did kiddy shit because nintentoddlers are fucking babies who never had to rough it in high school like real people, like me, who had to deal with bullies and preppy douchebags since they didn't understand my real power...

>>3938390
C&C Survivor. Westwood/EA refuse to acknowledge it ever existed. It was an online multiplayer-only deathmatch PVP version of C&C 1 where you spawned as a random unit and drove/walked around killing people, collecting crates for powerups. Nowadays probably not that terrible, but I remember it being really badly balanced, really laggy (cuz at the time 28k modems were the norm for internet still), disconnecty and crashy.

>>3938390
Welcome to this fuckass of a game. Montezuma's Revenge probably has the worst control response to commands I've ever seen which makes what would otherwise be a pretty good platformer absolutely borderline unplayable.

You think you've got that jump because you've done it literally a hundred times? Nah, the game is going to jump a whole half second later on you when it feels like it.

>>3963129
Wew lad. That was hard to read.

>>3938390
has anyone played this game? Its probably amazing

>>3938589
I remember there was a kids show where viewers played a crappy Hugo game over the phone i.e. they pushed the number pad in response to what was happening in the game.
>>3944342
Birdemic?
>>3948648
I just want to know what the hell they're saying in the cutscenes.

>>3944342

It was Birdemic.

>>3947712
MK4 for the gameboy is much, much worse.

So much worse.

>>3962151

Rex and Dan Dare are alright, I guess.

>>3967072
You in the UK? The Saturday morning CITV shows used to do that, but I don't remember the name of the specific show. They had a few games like that. I mostly remember "Joe Razz", which was the same phone-in type thing.

>>3944342

http://doctorwhogeneral.wikia.com/wiki/Comfy

I agree about Birdemic, though. It's too dull to be a "so bad its good" movie.

>>3967074
I saw Birdemic with some buddies too. Great film and special effects.

>>3963197
You can't just add y at the end of the words to make them more adjectivey

>>3967212
Yeah - I think the show I'm thinking of was on a Friday. They also had a football game where you had to control ethnic stereotypes straight out of /pol/

>>3963367
Some game versions of montezuma are broken and ending sequence doesn't even work

>>3967223
The movie completely stopping in its tracks to deliver PSA's about global warming are funny enough to make it worth it to me.

the DOS game Stalker

Horrendous controls, bugs and glitches up the ass, the collision detection is off and the graphics are standard no-name shareware fare.

>>3970395
>the DOS game Stalker
Did this come out before or after Shadow of Chernobyl?

>>3970554
It just came out the other day, dude

>>3938401
Indeed