/vr/ - Retro Games

>>3490280

>>3490280
A Chinese translation of the original Zork

Ghosts 'n Goblins. And the punishment doesn't end until they get the real ending.

>>3490372
There's a line between punishment and out-right torture, you know.

>>3490280
ninja gaiden. punishments over when they beat it. so never.

>>3490280

"Oh so you like to play some FPS games? Heres a couple for the weekend, dont say i didnt help you"

Moh and underground for ps1

Chrono Cross or Zelda II.

>>3490587
Ohh, Chrono Cross, that's a good one. That battle system takes a little bit of time just to figure out, and even more to master.

>>3490280
Wizardry with no graph paper

>>3490552
>Moh and underground for ps1
Those were pretty good though. Try Po'ed instead.

>>3490280
Steam indie pixel shit. Not only would it be excruciating but it would give them a better appreciation of pixels that aren't designed by talentless hipsters.

>>3490552
You want to punish them by having a blast killing nazis?

>>3490280
All six loops of Akumajou Dracula X68000.

No subweapons.

No whip upgrades.

No continues.

E.T. 2600

>>3490716
if your kids didn't know any better they'd slurp it up. See: Star Citizen, Terraria, Minecraft etc.

>>3490763
>Star Citizen
meant Stardew Valley

>>3490758
fucking brutal

>>3490763
I really like Terraria. It's much more of an actual game compared to Minecraft.

>>3490775
Eh, felt more of the same to me.

Silver Surfer NES

Pit Fighter SNES

>>3490432
oh you're real funny.
wrong pic btw

>>3490912
i dont my kids turning into faggots

>>3490917
haha nice one, gays suck!

>>3490280
>force him to beat Sim City 2000

Tower of Druaga without a walkthrough

>>3490930
you turning queer like one of them left-wing activistis son?

>>3490763
But they know better so it's an effective punishment. Although those first two would be cruel and unusual punishment.

>>3490772
>memebase

>>3490552
not TENKA for PS1

>>3490758
that's hard, man

>>3490775
Minecraft becomes an actual game if you add some mods that expand combat, like Thaumcraft.

>>3490758
Children detected the game is not bad read the fucking manual it will help. You want bad atari games from that time try the majority of the games surrounding that year. And by atari games i mean games released on the system

>>3490280
Anything on the game.com would be punishment. Really you should try it to appreciate every other game in existance

I don't think I would punish my kids, it would feel weird to teach them that you can change someone's mind through use of force or coercion, or that their minds should be able to be changed by such things. I would probably talk to them until they ask for punishment to ameliorate their guilt, or teach them a way to repent.

I also really believe that the punishment should fit the crime, and that they should really understand why what they did was wrong, and I could see myself limiting their privileges or force them to experience the consequences of their sin first hand rather than causing them direct suffering for any reason.

>>3491456
Just reading half your post makes me want to ask for punishment to make it stop.

>>3491456
Truly spoken like someone who hasn't been around kids and doesn't realize what hellish shitheads they can be if they're not disciplined.

Ecco The Dolphin: Tides of Time

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the NES.

>>3490280
Ultima Underworld, just from the fact that no kid nowadays is going to like its controls.

>>3491456
>I'm a beta cuck

Not really related to thread, but it made me think of this.

>Be teenager in early 2000s
>Do something bad, get grounded for a month
>Mom takes away all my games, is smart and makes me open up my Gamecube and Xbox so she can get the game in there
>PS1 still hooked up, she forgets to look in there
>It's Crash 3
>Play nothing but muted Crash 3 for a month
>Can't stand that game nowadays

>>3492617
We'll be the wiser generation of parents who know that all you need to take away are the controllers, or the power cord.

>>3490372

>>3490291
Maybe I'm just too good at jrpgs but I'll never understand this meme of 7th saga being hard. Lux/Esuna combo made the game a breeze to walk through

>>3491581
but that won't actually change their attitude towards you, and if anything might worsen it, because instead they'll lie to you and try to give the impression of behaving or telling you what you want to hear instead of actually changing their ideas

it forms in them the idea of being on a side against you

like if I treated a woman that way I would expect that she'd cheat on me and waste my money when she thought she could get away with it, and if I raised a child that way they might turn into the same kind of selfish and worthless whore

>>3491410
>Children detected the game is not bad
Did they?

>>3492669
>that won't actually change their attitude towards you, and if anything might worsen it
You're supposed to be their parents - not their friends.
>because instead they'll lie to you
They'll lie anyway, unless you make it clear - perhaps even through punishment - that lying in unacceptable.
>instead of actually changing their ideas
Their ideas are irrelevant. You just want them to stop ACTING like shitheads.

Battletoads, the Zelda CDi games and Hotel Mario.

>>3490552
so you want to punish them by let them play the best fps ever released. cool

>>3492698

Hotel mario isn't even that bad, it's just a mediocre comical action game, but hardly a punishment.

>>3490947
yes!

>>3492725
In before someone comes to defend that game.

>>3491410
it is definitely NOT the worst game ever.
there are waaaay worse.
quite a few atari games people say are "bad" came with a magazine or comic to play along with it, which made them a blast at the time, like sword quest

>>3491689
ask to use the computer next time

>>3492698
don't fuckn talk smack bout battletoads

Colecovision Smurfs and Cabbage Patch

Dragon's Lair
Adventure Island

And they can't look up any help online either.

>>3492786
>tfw watching the GCCX episode of this right now

>>3492734
It's not that bad

If you compare it to like, Hydlide or something...

Life.

Conway's Game of Life?
I fidgeted with that shit for hours.
I think I developed the super auts from it.
Why would I do that to my child?

>>3493285
Well.. You turned out okay, didn't you?

>>3493286
I have skitzo effective disorder.
I don't think blue and red squares can do that to a person.

Make them play Hotel Mario with eyes taped open. And remember to hide the pills, rope and the pistol.

>Forcing kids to play vidya as punishment
You know kids will just eat it up almost no matter what it is, right?

How about daddy's belt simulator

>Make them play Shower with your dad simulator
>Think it will traumatize them into following your advice
>They want to bathe with you and help wash your back

What have I done

>>3490280
>you won't play anything else until you finish this one!
:^)

>>3492689
>You're supposed to be their parents - not their friends.
How badly did your parents mistreat you, anon?

>>3492725
>>3492734
I kind of like it. It's a comfy game. Confusing as shit but comfy.

>>3493317
How was this fucking game even allowed to be released?
>gives you electric shocks if you don't press the button in time
This could put some old fucker into cardiac arrest.

>>3492625
>implying they wouldn't just borrow a controller/power cord from a friend

>>3492669
>like if I treated a woman that way I would expect that she'd cheat on me

Kek, pretty sure all those Muslim countries where men brutally discipline their wives and children have very low rates of cheating

>>3493509
My parents were wonderful, but if I was being a little asshole then I got punished accordingly. Looking back, I definitely deserved it and I'm glad they did it.

European computer platformer games.

Eventually they'll learn to love it, and be smarter, better people for it.

>>3490280
Sauro.

>>3493317
They will, as long as they don't know other games exist.

>>3490280
>no rubber on the analog sticks

>>3491297
>complains about memebase
>responds with a tumblr meme

This game is trash.

>>3491456
You've never actually been around kids, have you?

A text adventure.

>>3491456
You can't reason with a 2 year old, you just wait.I just had to whoop my kids ass for shitting on the floor.

Making them feel guilty or taking their favorite things is the best as they get older. But some ass whippins until they're older so even when they're bigger they still won't want t o step to their parents. Kids are fucking animals until you nurture and discipline them into humans.

>>3493341
Initial reaction: >:)
After reaction: :O !

You should never make kids clean up as punishment.

Cleaning, whether it's a home, or dishes, or just their room, or just cleaning up their act is a necessary act throughout life. For all of us.
Some of us are just lucky enough to hire mexicans to clean our shit for us.

Same with bad games. You need to play bad games to appreciate the good ones. Don't use them as forms of punishment. They're tools of education.

>>3490372
Kid develops necro fetish
>>3490432
Kid grows up to be an emo cunt, overcompensates by buying huge truck.
>>3490912
kid grows a cunt, if its a female, grows second cunt.
>>3490545
kid becomes rainman
>>3493498
kid grows up to be trans lbgtsjw bot.
>>3493781
>PAL
any game is punishment enough

>>3494219
>if its a female, grows second cunt.
So what's the problem here?

>>3494228
will never shave either of them and grows up spouting womb is sacred bullshit even though she's a lesbian. and not the pretty kind either

>force children to play with

My dick.

*BA DUM TUSH*

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night.

*the crowd goes wild with applause, making Anon the greatest /vr/ comedian to ever visit this flaming shithole of a board*

Why THANK YOU, THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT.

*the wild goes CROWD, ba Dum TUUUUUUUUUUUSH***

THHHAAAAAAAN

YUUUUUUUU

aasddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

Mission Impossible for N64

>>3494289
I laughed at this more than I should have.

>>3493524
If one woman covered head to toe in black clothing switches places with another, how can you actually tell?

I'm also pretty sure that they exchange wives like trading cards anyway

and it's more of a society that doesn't let them go outside without a man to control them, because they're absolutely sure that women will cheat or run away or try to learn how to read, than it is about the women actually being obedient on purpose

>>3490280
>>GAMES
>>As punishment

Guess how I know your are a shitty parent.

>>3494184
I might be biased because I shook a child in a restaurant when I was 9

I literally did not know any better and thought that was just the normal way to treat something smaller than you that was being annoying (as in being shaken and screamed at and smacked around was something that happened often enough that I considered it completely acceptable)

I might be overcompensating by thinking I could get away with not doing that to my kids, but you know, children are able to read facial cues and emotional interactions and get a basic understanding of what's being said to them, even if they can't speak properly, I can't really think that punishment is the only possible solution

>>3490280
Well, assuming I end up having kids (unlikely, given my student debt, lack of employment, and psychological problems), they'll probably grow up with gaming standards that are completely alien to me. So I could just force them to play anything from before my own childhood, like 2600 or NES games, without explaining a damn thing to them. Even games from more recent, non-/vr/ generations would be a horrible slog to them.

>>3490280
Every Doom engine game

the new doom

>>3490897
You win
Fuck that shit

>>3490280
/vr/ gauntlet on NES. Can't play another game until they beat their pick or clock 40 hours, whichever comes first.

>>3490280

Those educational games from the 90s like numbers munchers, mario typing, etc. They arent even games but shitty learning programs that arent even fun to mock.

If I wanted them to play a real game I guess Bubsy 3d with sound on. Or myst without strategy guide.

No games in my house period.
Waste of time and effort.
if someone has told me this while growing up i wouldn't be here.
instead of making friends and learning about the world i spent hours upon hours trying to pass levels.

>>3490552
I'd go for Disruptor on hardest difficulty, what a smegma cake of a game that was....

>>3495667
>i suck at games
>i suck at life
>i might have sucked less, but parents
In then end we're all responsible for who we are sport.

Retro games, instead of the games they want to actually play.

>>3498157
It hurts because it's true.

>>3490280
The waiting game

>>3493741
>tumblr meme
>that 4chan started a long time ago

>>3493341
Is she at least cute?

Baby Felix Tennis

My nephew seems to like Sonic, but he can't stand anything with even a little bit of learning curve, so maybe Sonic R, Sonic Riders, or Sonic and the Secret Rings. He'll have to deal with his favorite character at the worst ( that I have to offer anyway )

Sonic 06

>>3499424

Not defending the quality of the game, but I feel like most kids would probably like that shit. Especially when they discover how easy it is to break it and mess with physics.

>>3490280
Quake in the morning
Quake in the afternoon
Quake in the evening
Quake, Quake Quake. He has to beat the first two official expansions and Abyss of Pandemonium too. Then when he's ready, he can see me in DM1 first to 10 kills.

>if he wins
he can do whatever he wants with his life.
>if he looses
he has to beat every single map in The Undergate. after that he gets his rematch.
http://quakeone.com/forums/quake-talk/single-player/1463-undergate.html

>if he wins
free from my tyranny and an increased allowance
>if he looses
I disown him.

>>3490307
>thread

Shadow Tower for PlayStation. That'll teach them.

>>3499528
this is going to be your son by the end of that episode.

>>3493341
>What have I done

A big step towards true love.

>>3492689
>Their ideas are irrelevant. You just want them to stop ACTING like shitheads.
this is how people grow up into being shitheads

>>3492689
>You're supposed to be their parents - not their friends.
were you raised in a cristian family by any chance? I've had two cristian neighbors and they treat their children like cattle. out in public they act like the perfect fucking family, but everyone that knew them personally saw how fucked they actually were.

>>3492786
I dropped that game when I was a kid. my mind wasn't ready for trial and error.

>>3499883
No. We're Muslims.
>libtards head explodes
Allah damn it. You beat me to it.

A Boy and his Blob, with no walkthrough.

As a bonus, the music would eventually make his ears bleed.

>>3499045
she's your 12 year old son, anon

>>3490280
Almost any game on the Atari 2600 desu

>>3494219
NTSC > PAL
I really hate PAL speedup on movies and music.
I also hate PAL versions of games.

>>3490280

>>3499528
Yea, but what difficulty?

dr jekyll and mr hyde on the nes,look it up on youtube for more info

>>3502169
Thanks for the suggestion I think I'll take it

>>3502139
all the difficulties.

>>3490280
dark souls

>>3490602
But it still is extremely boring.

>>3490934
/thread

>>3490280

Desert bus

>>3503470
Crazy Bus afterwards

>>3490280
doom

then they can be a bitter manchild when they're living in my basement at 35

>>3490917
>>3493498

>>3502116
>when it is movies it is speedup
>when it is games it is slowdown

virtual hydlide

Nethack.

>>3499561
>you will never be this rad no matter how much retro vidya you collect

>>3505105
too bad the kid in the picture still looks like he's waiting for approval by whoever took the picture.

>am I cool yet?

Final Fantasy 2. The whole thing.

>Dad, Which way is Fynn?
>Can't tell you, son. Pick a direction.
>Son goes left, gets destroyed in random encounter

He'll soon develop a hatred for empty rooms, the word "Ambushed!" and surprises in general.

Eh, it's easier to just hit them

if you put an orange in a sock it won't leave a bruise

>>3498490
>This guy has been around long enough to recall the chronology of insignificant memes.

>>3490280
I would force my children to 1cc Altered Beast. Took me a couple of years to master it. Since it's been a while I can't even time anything properly anymore and it's been suggested that it's input delay but we all know that's a placebo effect.

>>3505365
Nigga I'd have them kids try to 1cc Ghosts and Goblins twice as well as 1cc Ghouls and Ghosts twice in the same day.

>>3505995
if I had to pick between those two GnG games, it would have to be the NES version just because it's buggy as fuck.