/vr/ - Retro Games

Crash Bandicoot tier

Oh god, what has microsoft done to you rare. Thanks for reminding us you still exist, but please, put yourselves out of your misery and just go under already.

>>3036295
I-i'm... I'm in shock.

Remember when Microsoft approached Oddworld Inhabitants and asked them to transform their series so they'd be the Xbox Mario?
This is what happens when Microsoft wants anything to be their Mario.

It.. It's real.

Please God, save me from this wretched future.
http://www.theverge.com/2016/2/29/11132952/young-conker-microsoft-hololens-rare-video

>>3036295

>>3036295
I don't care much about Conker in all honesty but still that is one terrible design.

>>3036295
Well, at least they did a convincing job with Killer Instinct. I'm still mourning the fact that we'll never have a decent Banjo again just as well.

>>3036364
Consider it a blessing microsoft will never force rare to bastardize another great franchise like banjo like they've done to conker.

What is this and is it real? That doesn't look like Conker at all.

>>3036423
>is it real?
Yes.

>>3036295
As somebody before said, we want the zika virus audience

This would have been really neat if they hadn't decided to abuse the character for this. Would have been perfectly fine with a new, unrelated character, but I guess they shoved him in for some sort of half-assed selling point.

It's ironic how a character that tried its hardest to not be like every other animal mascot-based platformer out there ends up being retooled as a young and happy deformed version of himself.

Honestly, I would've gone with Banjo.

>>3036295
so this is like the 3ds augmented reality? wtf, if I wanted to play a game in my same old living room I'd buy some action figures or papercraft something. I don't get it. games should play in an alternate reality not an augmented one.

>>3036295
>Young Conker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQeOYi3Be5Y
lol. this is some evil super villain level type shit.

>>3037052
>Conker's a much beloved property that has a huge following
>So we came up with something nothing like him

>>3037059
It's like it was engineered to make people with any foreknowledge of Conker have an aneurysm.

>>3037052
what the fuck AR isn't new at all

And nothing of value was lost. It was never funny, it was crass, dumb, and worst of all had fucking terrible gameplay.

Just another example of the fucking death of gaming starting with the N64 generation.

>>3037072
>Being THIS much of a contrarian hipster

>>3037085
>Being THIS much of a millennial nugamer
Gaming died in the mid-90s, kid. The sooner you all realize this, the sooner modern gaming can die and we can get back to games being fun, actual games again.

>>3037095
[citation: me]

>>3037101
Given that I've been around since Pong and you grew up being lied to by gaming marketed to idiot non-gamers, I think my "citation" is much more valid than your incorrect opinion.

>>3037052
playing up that they made no level designs or backgrounds. dah computah maps you house you play a horribly bland looking game! ooh collect coins on grandma's photo then go bounce on the couch.

>>3037101
citation: truth
Gaming is a sanitized place for fags and women now. We don't wanna hurt their feelings with harsh difficulties.

>>3037105
You can give up the bait, I'm no longer convinced you're serious.

>>3037105
calm down dredd, you're not the judge jury and executioner here.

Young Conker could be spectacular IF and only if near the end of the game we see the tragic event which turns him into the drunken sleaze we all know from Bad Fur Day.

>>3036305

> I posted it again!

I didn't ask for this.

>>3036375
COnker takes 1, 2, 3 for the team

>>3036448
zika virus has been around for 60 years and has nothing to do with birth defects btw.

Those birth defects are caused by monsanto pesticides that are known to cause birth defects!

>>3037947
>>>/x/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQeOYi3Be5Y

>all those dislikes

>>3037101
Nono... he's right.

>>3037973
Even if you don't like Conker, you can't help but agree this is a massive FU to the people who do. This could happen to any franchise that you like. Fortunately for me I don't play modern games so I don't care how people inevitably rape the shit I love nowadays.

Why this is so awful is that they gave people completely out of touch with the source material the right to wallpaper their unrelated shit hardware and software tech demo in an attempt to milk the worthless IP they bought for a premium in a lame attempt to shoehorn in Windows 10. I loath Microsoft. I loath the programmers who worked on this project. Hell, I even loath Conker, but this shit is hilariously awful.

>>3038002
I don't totally agree with him. I loved Conker, the N64 and even the GameCube. But he's generally right about the death of gaming and the poor direction of the industry.

This isn't even a game. It's pretty much just a tech demo.

>>3036295
Using reality as your levels was a cool idea, when I was a kid.

But this. This is just limp-wristed risk-taking.

>>3036295
needs more shit/10

>>3037003
Um Conker started out as a cutesy character and then they edged him up.
If anything he's going back to his proto self

>>3038024
Every console has been saturated with kusoge. You're only noticing it because the internet keeps pointing them out and reviews are absolutely everywhere, along with people's strong opinions.

This is a pretty epic b8 you guys really went the extra mile.

Good thing it's all bullshit.

>>3038241
Kusoge? Nice assumptions into my mindset which I did not share with you.

Highly intelligent post, dickwad.

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

>>3037823
Fuu is my waifu

Why are they making him kid friendly?

>>3037973
>>3038024
I agree that gaming is on the decline, but I disagree with him that it started in the mid 90s, it was really the early 00s when the decline started with the xbox and PS2 and GameCube.

>>3038737
I have to disagree with that. Gaming, and most other things like the internet, went on the decline around '05-'08, when social media became an extremely huge thing. The Gamecube, PS2 and Xbox didn't really revolve around over-the-internet mulitiplayer ames as much as the Wii, PS3 and Xbox360 did

>>3036295
he was dead ever since live and reloaded

>>3038032
its just a gimmicky tech demo to be completely honest
but even project spark conker looked better then this piece of garbage that looks like it came from some 8 year old's Deviantart

at least they could of made him not look like a fucking mutant

>>3038752
*games

>>3038775
>could of

>>3038737
>>3038752
Also DLC was very minimal until this time period. Even when DLC was released, it usually wasn't anything that was very important to the game. Usually it was just a new game mode or something of the sort and cost very little to no money, usually because the content creators either had this as an idea to implement in the game but due to physical space had no way to implement it in-game . With the rise of the modern gaming circa '08-'09, DLC essentially became less and less about disk space and more about turning a larger profit.

>>3036295
How could they fuck up something so simple?
Just release another Conker game in the vein of the original. Doesn't have to be as raunchy or toilet humor-based, but why this? It's like repackaging Alex Kid into a GTA-type game.

welp theres another mascot that died
he had so much potential too

>>3037967

>>>/x/
Rearrange the whole game with my rugged sound

>>>/x/
Won't even say your own name when I come around

>>>/x/
Stay on top but remain from the underground

>>>/x/ to the Z and we all in the family

>>3036364
imo KI was garbage before, godawful 3D and character designs that DoubleHelix and Iron Galaxy managed to salvage.

Not retro. Logging into mod account now to delete this shit.

>>3040491

I don't really keep up with them these days, but has modern Rare even put out anything that people really care about/generally like in the past decade or so?

>>3041212
Or lose mod for announcing you're mod. Screen capped.

>>3041228
They made Kinect games like Kinectamles if I recall, and I'm not sure if Rare Replay counts. I know some people that like Banjo Kazooie Nuts& Bolts for what it is. At this point though the company is on life support and is only around just so Microsoft can say they have them, and for people who still have feelings towards Rare.

>>3036295
nooooooooooooooooooooo

>>3036295
i hate microsoft, i absolutely hate them. I hate them for the xbox and bullshit like this, i hate them for their partner network, their licensing, everything. I guess they went straight downhill when Bill Gates stopped. Please, MS, please stop fucking up.

>>3041030
Awful 3D for 1994? Really?

And the character design thing is really subjective.

>>3036295
if they wanted a cutsey platformer why didn't they just use banjo and kazooie!? Fucking tiptup would make more sense! hell why bother redisining conker! in that case then! this entire thing is an anomaly of existence!

>>3036295

>>3036295
>have to pay 3 grand just to play this abomination.

>>3036295
I'm just glad that it wasn't Banjo getting rectally destroyed this time. (although this is still bullshit)

>>3044627
They used Conker, because they never played the actual game and only see a cute squirrel.

>>3036295
>From now on Conker will be aimed towards children, with Alvin and the Chipmunks style comedy and humor

Why the fuck is Microdick so intent on killing Rare?
Or are they just that fucking incompetent and oblivious?

>>3046562
It has to be the second one... They xant seriously think that using conker of all characters in an e-rated game rather than banjo, or the battletoads, or fucking tiptup. Is a good idea... Let alone thinking that redisgn is a good idea.

>>3046525
They cant be that incompitent and ignorant though, they just fucking cant knowing the reputation the game has.

>>3040485
Exactly!!!! Also nice alex kidd analogy

>>3046801
>I don't know about Conker's other games
The post.

>>3046841
Pocket Tales?

>>3046841
He had one other game BEFORE bad fur day, since bfd has been both the precident for new games and the most popular of the series the other game is invalid

>>3036295
>2001
>retro

>>3046893
It was released for the N64, so it counts.

>>3037052
Honestly, it looks pretty cool, but it has absolutely NOTHING to do with Conker. Why couldn't they have just come up with a new character?

>>3047460
Because marketing department. Seriously. Chances are they know fuck-all about Conker beyond him being an existing character with some popularity. The reasons for that popularity, why fans want him back, what fans want to see when he comes back, and so on are likely beyond their grasp. Business school textbook strategies come first.

>>3040485
>It's like repackaging Alex Kid into a GTA-type game.

Well, that doesn't sound that bad

>>3040485
>Conker game in the vein of the original
What the gameboy game? Looks pretty much like the original in that case

>It's like repackaging Alex Kid into a GTA-type game.
What like they did with Bad Fur Day?