/vr/ - Retro Games

Action 52

You think all the stories about that game are exaggerated. Then you actually play it and it's every bit as terrible as everyone says. The only thing I find interesting about the whole affair is the company story for Active Enterprises. It's hilarious and sad, all at the same time.

The Genesis version of Action 52 is better, though. In the same way that having cold is better than having pneumonia.

>>1859953
I don't get angry at video games, but Action 52 makes me boil over. It was a sickening fraud of a product.

>>1859943

IDK, but Super Monkey Daibouken at least has some catchy tunes (the overworld music is permanently stuck in my head) there are plenty of games with zero redeeming values

Probably some obscure ZX Spectrum/C64 game made by a 14 year old bedroom coder and a publisher with no shame.

Can't go wrong with >>1859953 though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGPuRUNDgdI

>>1860372
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGPuRUNDgdI
>aliens landed
>on mt. wayupthar
>disguised as sugary foods
you've piqued my interest, game.

capcha: cheesemonger öhaohiA

>>1860391
Are you from Sweden?

>>1860372
Seems like a game thats more guilty of having a strange premise than being shitty. At least, its far from the worst game I've ever seen.

>>1860393
isn't everyone here from sweden?
why?

>>1860372
I can only imagine the poor kids suffering from severe juvenile diabetes, that got this game as gift from a clueless grandparent or parent. like instead of a good game that would take your mind off your disease, heres a shit game that will remind you of your affliction

>>1860436
God, diabetes must suck.

>>1860482
That is a way to say it, especially since people can actually die from diabetic complications

>>1860482
Not really
After a while, it just becomes a minor annoyance. It's very managable

Color a Dinosaur
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXl4qHiirT0

And anything made by Color Dreams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFkiADY0Cro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERJHVHF8WT0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nxyzrO-rAA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PriTocGzp3o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYrNvAm7Cvo

Truth be told, nothing Color Dreams ever did could be considered "commerical"

>>1860173
it has good music, but i was playing it earlier today and i honestly was astonished at how bad it was. gameplay wise, there's not a single aspect that works and is enjoyable. i honestly couldn't imagine a worse game, if there is one i'd like to hear about it

Whoever got Brian May to do a theme song for this game must have had some real dirt on him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-uO5-kzQfk

>>1861267
I'm almost shocked that Captain Comic was a Color Dreams game. It's heads and shoulders above everything else they made. It's still very difficult and suffers from questionable design, but if you must own a CD game, I recommend this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IPVckgAISI

>>1861327

Here's what happened:

>Devs: Compose a track for our game and we'll give you thousands of dollars
>Brian May: Sure

It's a lot of money for not that much work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNQYTWoaqnE

It's not a bad song. I'd love to hear it fully fleshed out and without the limitations of a snes.

The real issue is why are devs blowing money on something like that? Just give a talented in-house guy to make a song that sounds like something Brian may would produce. Oh wait, that would require some talent.

>>1861267
I can't believe that they didn't put any background music into Color a Dinosaur's art mode. Wouldn't they have learned from Mario Paint?

>>1863606
Star Fleet is better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7GFU5ncKhU

>>1863597
Captain comic was bundled with my dad's 386sx, first IBM PC we got.

Oh my god what the fuck. Fuck this give me the c64.

Actually loom and monkey island soon followed and that was cash

>>1860195
>ZX Spectrum/C64 game made by a 14 year old bedroom coder and a publisher with no shame
That's almost literally Cassette 50: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassette_50

Takeshi no Chōsenjō, since it was marketed during release as a "normal" game. It took some time before it started to gain appreciation as a pseudo-dadaist "epic trolling xD" game.

What about ET?

>>1863961
Not even the worst game on the system.

>>1861269
stargazer?

Hoshi wo Miru Hito

It even has the status of "Legendary Shit Game" in Japan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrDxi3WEOcc

Super Mario Bros

>>1863991
I thought that was the choose where to embark screen from Dwarf Fortress

>>1861327
Rise of the robots was actually pretty ambitious.
It's too bad it turned out terrible.

>>1860391
There was enough wrong with the game already, but then they had to make the protagonist speed walk instead of run.

>>1860534
>minor annoyance
Maybe if you have type 2 diabeetus, my little cousin has type 1 and she's been temporarily blinded by it several times, not to mention men who have it are usually rendered sterile by it, just imagine what it would be like knowing that some idiot teenager at McDonalds accidentally giving you full sugar soda instead of diet could land you in hospital.

>>1860428
helvete.

>>1864026

Was about to post this. I still even have the Gameplayers mag containing the review that gave it a 0%.

>>1863991
Is there a translation patch for this game? I'd curious to try it...

>>1864184
yeah, there is

>>1859943
No one mentions daikatana. Why?

>>1864262
Because John Romero made us his bitch

>>1864095
>eating at McDonalds

The soda is the least of your worries

>>1864095
>not being able to taste the difference between diet and regular

How's your gout, grampa?

>>1864135

But as the guy at the end of that video admitted, the music isn't too bad. It's pleasant, at least. Therefore it has a redeeming feature, and doesn't deserve a 0%. I think it's impossible for a game to be 0%, unless it' a full price release where you move a white dot around a black screen or something.

In Japan Shura no Mon is considered one of the the worst fighting games ever made and a legendary kusoge in PS. Something curious is that they use a Kyokushin Karate kata in the intro.

http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm23381984

>>1864262
It was disappointing and certainly a bad game but it doesn't even come close to worst commercial release ever.

>>1864459

Watching that vid, what a shame. o sort of get what they were going for - like, the stances and movements aren't bad. The gameplay looks so fucking stiff though.

>>1863991
Looks like dragon quest

>>1864128

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCGm62Bcl1Y

>>1859953
AT LEAST it has one of the best 8-bit tunes of all time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZlYGN5W2Yg

It kicks fucking ass

>>1865469
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jA7nRwQp_E

I watched a longplay of Plumbers Don't Wear Ties today, and I have to say, it is quite possibly one of the worst "games" I've ever seen. Action 52 and the like are at least charming with their horribleness, but PDWT and all the other FMV garbage on the 3DO, CDi, and Sega CD have them beat by a country mile in my opinion.

>>1866003
It doesn't even count as FMV. It's a fucking slideshow. The opening video is FMV sure but the rest of the game is basically a power point presentation.

>>1859953
Yeah, pretty much this. I'd also nominate Daikatana only because John Romero owes me money because I straight up bought a shit ton of games to eliminate the stench of having played that shit.

>>1865469
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l3D-mZepC0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFOaYGSN7fE

>>1863873
But I thought stuff like that was already part of Beat Takeshi's humor, so people "got" the joke fairly quickly?

>>1867067
Nope
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_video_games_notable_for_negative_reception#Takeshi_no_Ch.C5.8Dsenj.C5.8D_.28Family_Computer.29

>the publisher received over 400 phone calls each day, asking questions about the game. Sometimes, unable to provide a solution, they responded by telling the caller "the person in charge died"

>Famitsu magazine positioned the game on the top ranking spot of their kuso-gē chart, reserved for only the worst games

>the guidebook for the exhibition celebrating the 20th anniversary of the Family Computer, hosted by Tokyo Metropolitan Museum of Photography, states in its headline; "a game that sucked so bad"

>>1866068
john romero made doom and wolfenstein 3d, he doesn't owe you shit

>>1865465
this game grosses me out, and is generally just awful as well.

>>1866003
this is astonishingly bad, but i don't know if it qualifies as a game. if it does, yeah it's deffo one of the worst

I still think Super Monkey Daibouken is the worst game ITT.

>>1863873
>to gain appreciation as a pseudo-dadaist "epic trolling xD" game.
So it was Goat Simulator before Goat Simulator?

>>1863991
What's sad is that the concept behind this sounds great, it's almost like a Mother and Phantasy Star hybrid.

>>1866264
That boxart is funny though.
"Zippidy do dah, kicking people in the ass, zippidy day..."

>>1859943
Monkey had really good music tunes.

>>1863991
this is what I was going to say, FUCK the graphics are horrid they make my eyes bleed. Super Monkey Daibouken is pretty damn shit but it doesn't look half as bad as that game does.

Slaughter Sport/Fatman port for Sega Genesis is probably one of the worst pieces of crap I've played, Rise of Robots looks Street Fighter 2 next to it. But damn, seeing games like SM Daibouken, Stargazers and Cosmic Race in this thread makes me wonder about really really unplayable games.

>>1861327
It's not a good game, but it's not even close to being the worst commercial release. Something worse that immediately comes to mind is Combatribes.

>>1863597
You know, if i'm not mistaken, Color Dreams was actually going to make a Hellraiser game too at some point.

>>1864357
You don't consider Action 52 a 0/10?

>Only $200 children! It comes with 52 games, meaning only about $4 a game!
>HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS
>What we mean to say is you're paying $200 to play uninteresting, buggy, and downright broken games made by out esteemed sweatshop programmers in 15 minutes

>>1871496
A52 earns at least a 2/10, if mainly due to the Cheetahmen theme.

>>1871548
And then it gets two points subtracted for some of the other music being plagiarized.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIqN3OJ1-DU

>>1865469
Yes, and it was stolen from a music making program's sample tunes

>>1873667
Wow, did not know about this.

http://forums.nesdev.com/viewtopic.php?t=4630&start=15

>Some of the music was taken from the example tunes of Music Studio. Ed Bogas composed all the plagiarized tracks.

>Here's a list of the names of the tracks, & their respective games:
>Bossa Nova -> FUZZ POWER & Cheetahmen II's OP
>Aisle Dance -> SILVER SWORD
>Tango -> FRENCH BAKER
>Calypso -> STREEMERZ
>Boogie -> TIME WARP TICKERS
>Mystery -> NINJA ASSAULT

>>1873598
I like that game

>>1871415

You're not mistaken. Not just them, either. I distinctly remember a pixilized Pinhead in the Coming Attractions section of Nintendo Power.

>>1875263

Meant to quote >>1871451

I bet the worst game of all time is some shovelware for the PC in the 90s.

>>1875263
Overview of Hellraiser vaporware:
http://www.cenobite.com/collect/vg.htm

More on NES Hellraiser:
http://www.theman-cave.com/2010/02/oh-what-could-have-been-hellraiser-on.html

>>1871415
>Combatribes
>Worse than Rise of the Robots
Get a load of this pleb.

>>1871415
Yeah I dunno what you're suffering from but Combatribes is pretty damn fun actually.

>>1875283
To be fair. The arcade version of Combatribes is a bit of a quarter muncher. The way the game is designed makes it impossible to avoid enemy hits and the fact that they give operators to turn off health recovery between stages should've been considered criminal. Still, it's in no way worse than Rise of the Robots.

>>1875302
Is that the Joker?

>>1875302
What a silly ad.

Also, I like Combatribes. The SNES version, that is. The game has some nice aesthetics and music. The general vibe of the game is really cool (it's honestly super similar to the movie The Warriors--from the game taking place in NYC, having colorful gangs, as well as a plot that revolved around uniting all of the gangs in the city).

I mean gameplay wise, it's not all that great and kinda plays like a watered down Nekketsu Kouha Kunio Kun Tachi no Banka (one of the best beat-em-ups on the system!).

The SNES version also has a kinda neat versus mode, which allows you to play as various cannon fodder enemies, which was a neat touch.

>>1875814
>Nekketsu Kouha Kunio Kun Tachi no Banka

you sir, are a mouthful

Contenders:

- Legend of Success Joe;
- Dangerous Streets;
- Shaq Fu

>>1875820
It IS one of the best best'em ups ever.

>>1865518
This is awesome.

>>1875820
>>1875857
It's not even correct title. It's "Kunio-tachi no Banka", not "Kunio Kun Tachi no Banka." It's not that great of a beat-'em-up (the game suffers from the same problems every SNES game in the genre had by only having two on-screen enemies at a time). I found it pretty barebones and empty, with not much going for it other than a rocking soundtrack, pretty pixel art and lots of dialogue.

Also, I'm sure Combatribes before Kunio-tachi no Banka, so I wouldn't call it a watered down version of the other.

>>1875248
Yeah, but it's not the Cheetahmen theme. That's just the title screen music.

>>1876041
>It's not even correct title. It's "Kunio-tachi no Banka"
Don't you mean Mr. Kunio and Friends' Lament?

>>1876041
Yeah, Kunio-tachi no Banka is just alright, and is basically built on the Combatribes engine. It's appealing in that, like most Technos beat-em-ups, the combat system pretty complex compared to Final Fight-style button mashers, but there isn't much content besides that.

I happen to own the cartridge- it's ridiculously light. I wonder how it was originally priced in Japan.

>>1876064
>Yeah, Kunio-tachi no Banka is just alright, and is basically built on the Combatribes engine.
I think the same team worked on both games.
>It's appealing in that, like most Technos beat-em-ups, the combat system pretty complex compared to Final Fight-style button mashers, but there isn't much content besides that.
I wouldn't even call it more complex than Final Fight, since Final Fight (even in its watered down SNES form) tended to mix different enemy types on-screen, forcing you to adopt different techniques for each situation.

On the other hand, Kunio-tachi no Banka feels way too stuck in the NES era in that regard, since there's only one instance in the entire game where you fight two different enemy types (a bouncer and a hostess) at the same time. Most of the extra moves in Banka felt superfluous as a result. Is there any point to using any of the backward attacks?
>I happen to own the cartridge- it's ridiculously light. I wonder how it was originally priced in Japan.
The game is only 16 Megabit, which was the standard size for most SNES action games. The MSRP was 9,800 yen though (SFC games were pretty expensive).