/vr/ - Retro Games

What the fuck is that?

>>1429252
Mortal Kombat.

Where the fuck was that marketed

>>1429265
China

http://mb.zeldaxtreme.com/threads/chinese-knockoffs.4210/

we all gon mak it sum dae

>>1429454
Would make a good "check em" dubs image.

>>1429454
These men are so inspired by the PlayStation logo.

It's truly amazing how godawful western 8/16-bit box art used to be.

>>1429465
looks like a dude

>>1429465
ACTUAL CO CINEMA SCREENS

>>1429468
>>1429469
It gets worse.

>>1429474
this pretty much sums it up

>>1429465
>>1429474

thread can't be complete without phalanx

>>1429490
i remember seeing this in my local video store 20 years ago and never renting it cause I hadn't the slightest fucking clue what it was about, I was so turned off by the front cover I never even bothered to check the back.

>>1429496
Same here. I also remember renting earthbound for no reason other than the box being 4x larger than normal.

>>1429490
OP said bad/weird, not fucking awesome.

>>1429490
This is a bad/weird cover thread not an awesome/weird cover thread
>inb4 minimal SMS graph paper covers

>>1429504
is it really more adventurous to transform into a big guy without a gun rather than stay a small guy with a big gun?

>>1429520
now that's horrifying

>>1429523
FOR YOU

>>1429519
>>1429520
Phalanxmind

>>1429531
These Donkey Kong covers are rad as fuck

>>1429529
I-I want thsi

>>1429531
this is easily one of the best Donkey Kong covers out there.

>>1429490
I wonder if that box art was the predecessor to those irritating ONE WEIRD TRICK ads with some random fucking picture. Seriously, I wonder if they thought "Hey, if we make something completely weird and nonsensical, maybe people will pick it up just out of WTF-ness"

>>1429547
>dat loading screen

This one doesn't look too bad, until you see the face...

Truly the stuff of nightmares.

>>1429465
>godawful
>not completely awesome

C'mon, steel coned tit covers, how can you not like that

>>1429571
Well it makes you panic, that's for sure.

>>1429576
because that's a dude

>>1429564
>not for use in the mattel of nintendo versions of the nes
>licensed by nintendo for the nes
ok

And the award for the longest title in a retro game goes to....

>>1429535
>high resolution impact graphics

Only a matter of time before someone makes one of those mémé pictures where there's an extreme closeup of someone's face with a random phrase in said picture under the face.

>>1429520
>inb4 minimal SMS graph paper covers

I was thinking of it only for the weirdness of them. There were a few bad ones if I remember right however. But personally I find the Master System graph paper like background look pretty neat to me.

>>1429657
They usually garner a mention in these threads, especially the "hand holding a gamecard with the cover on the card" covers

>>1429218

Beware the Red Arremer!

Ehr... Green Arremer. Yeah, that.

>>1429531

I like how this symbolizes everything Miyamoto wanted to avoid when he made Donkey Kong.

>>1429218
>Subzero with a purple Jewel in his forhead
>Kano looking Arabic
>Johnny Cage still a too cool asshole
Looks legit.

>>1429728
I think it's a Goro/Kano hybrid of sorts

>>1429713
*citation needed*

>>1429751

Mario was explicitly meant to be an unassuming everyman, not a super hero.

>>1429519
>>1429520

can't deny the weirdness of the phalanx cover alone.

another pretty necessary one this thread seemed to miss

>>1429758
Where I come from that's what unassuming everymen look like.
i.eNot America

>>1429776

First thing that popped into my mind when I saw this thread.

For shame, /vr/, for shame.

>>1429776
>>1429785
Come on, that's one of the handful that are just too obvious to even post. see also: Phalanx on SNES

>>1429776
Using megaman is almost cheating

if I wasn't on mobile i'd have used the filename this always gets

>>1429561
His glasses look like the facebook logo.

>>1429835
He must be wearing Google Glass

>>1429779
But thats a pretty cool logo

>>1429859
>logo
I mean boxart, fuck

>>1429454

muh sides

>>1429571

It's a really good cover in terms of the artwork, but Jesus Christ. I can't even bring myself to save it on my hard drive, and I've got some fucked-up shit on there.

This would have given me pure nightmares as a kid.

>>1429779

Yeah, sorry, this is fucking awesome.

>>1429465
this looks awesome. fuck you.

>>1429982
Pocky looks hot there and not like a little girl. I approve.

>>1430426

Not all that weird if that's what the game looks like.

oh, Japan.

>>1429465

Looks like Zachary Quinto in drag

>>1430451

Get out faggot.

>>1429819
but that one is cool

>>1430513

Not that guy, but that's a pretty emblematic example of how American releases fuck up box art.

Have you seen what they did to Ico? Ugh.

This

>>1430527
Uh

>>1430513

Ardok detected.

>>1430523
not trying to start a america vs rest of the world war, but the best example for this is Slider for the Game Gear

>>1430531
you can guess which cover is the most accurate

>>1430527
Excuse me?

>>1429632
Liefeld?!

>>1430571
>buckley_draws_box_art.jpg

>>1430451
That model looks like he wants to be elsewhere.
>Here, just put this on and hold hat sword on the cliff.
>Wait, no lighting, no background?
>Yeah.
>It's a living.
This is the stuff that porn actors are made of.

>>1429461

like this?

>>1430601
>Wow, Karou-sama...it's...it's 256kb.

>>1430602

Here's a version without the spots under Coach's arms

>>1430608

Trans-parent version

This game was creepy on so many levels. Please tell me you've seen Bad Street Brawler walking.. . .

>>1430610

glorious

>>1429751
bait needed

>>1430671
haha that fucking game

i did man i did

>>1430685
he seems like a fucking pedophile or something the way he struts around

I love Carlos Valderrama but this cover is... not aesthetically pleasing.

>>1430753
>Charles Barkley and Marky Mark.jpg

>>1429697
Since you mentioned it, here's some OC.

>>1430824
w-what

>>1430857
I don't see what your post has to do with anything

>>1430753

>SIMULTANEOUS TWO-PLAYER ACTION!

Remember when everything in pop culture didn't have to have pretensions to higher art or take themselves so fucking seriously?

>>1430818

>donaldfaisonandmarkmaronna.jpg

>>1430804

I don't know from football (or football for that matter) but that dude looks like some tramp.

>>1429490
Looks more like Banjo & Kazooie cover art.

>>1429697

"Ok guys, apperantly this game has a Skeleton in gold armour"
"Well gee, skeletons are always the bad guys in videogames"
"Yeah and there's this huge buff dude with a sword, he must be the MC"
"Ok guys get the cheapest fantasy artist we can afford and lets desigh a box for this shit"

>>1430871
Precisely...

Basically he was one of the last players who were entertainers, who saw it almost their duty to try goofy things and not only win, but play with style and great tricks, so he was a great figure-head for a video game, but that cover art just turned out horrendous.

>>1430867

>donaldfaisonandmikemaronna.jpg

fix'd

>>1429646
Actually saved this months ago.

>>1429547
>>1429561

>>1431243

Did Stuart Ashen cover this game?

This is certainly not bad, though. It's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.

>>1431290
are you thinking of the osama bin laden 911 LCD game?

I agree though that cover is amazing every time I see it pop up somewhere I have a good chuckle.

Master System has a trove of lazy/awful box art

This one sure looks exciting

How to box art:
1. Glue Millennium Falcon to a thing
2. Spray-paint that shit silver

>>1430837

>>1431309
>>1431314
Are you sure they didn't mix up the titles for these two?

>>1431320
1. Shove random spaceship model parts up the asses of toy dinosaurs
2. Spraypaint that shit silver
3. ???
4. Profit

>>1431298

Yeah, that was the one.

It is transcendent.

>>1429982
JESUS CHRIST HOW HORRIFYING

Any funny ones with hitler?

>>1430426
That's pretty damn cool actually. I like the claymation look.

Why does he have gyno tho

>>1431383
THis is all I can think of

>>1431409
fucking playing that over a modem back in the day woulda been sweet

>>1430824

Even the art of Fatman is shitty, this is probably the worst game I've ever played. They should've buried all the copies in the desert instead of E.T game.

>>1431409

This cover is awesome.

>>1431383
This is the only box art I know of with Hitler. It's for the Japanese version of Bionic Commando.

>

>>1431374

And this is funny/creepy how...?

>>1431506

Really?

>>1431367

'Gary's appearance on the half-pipe that day was met with a recall of all children and an immediate amber alert.'

>>1431441
lmao what game is this. is it actually called shit

>>1431606
It's called Oh Shit!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nlcrh4reWc

>>1431612

This can't be real.

>>1430903
That looks totally awesome, I must play it.

>>1431409
>dat :/

A classic.

>>1431704

>>1431509

There's nothing wrong with it. It's badass.

>>1431737

You were a big fan of Image Comics in the 90s, weren't you?

>>1430565
I love this game. But that art is awful.

>>1431737
Not even Liefeld is that bad at drawing muscular men.

>>1431840
That doesn't look bad or weird.

>>1431858
But it is, it's totally ridiculous the game it's based on. It's also homoerotic.

>>1430804
>Tampa Bay Mutiny

lel that team folded in like 3 years.

>>1431865
considering the game it's based on, I mean.

>>1431860

I actually always liked this ad in magazines. Never saw the game. I guess the only reason I liked it was Milius Conan.

>>1431787
>>1431832

Still not that weird to consider, it would look pretty normal to a kid seeing it for the first time.

And no, I hate Rob Liefail.

>>1431860
What's with all those covers that looked nothing like the ingame characters?

>>1429529
>featurelength.jpg

>>1431734
what in hell

Sorayama-ish.

Not really bad but might as well post this anyway. I wonder why they went for the regular cartoony look for the European box art rather than a more hardcore action style.

EVE?

>>1432004
Same reason they are called the "hero" turtles. Ninjas and weapons are too cool for Europeans.

>>1432004
>hero turtles
>No weapons on the cover
Heh.

>>1431998
holy shit lol

>>1432000
"My girl just gave me a space job, shit was so cash."

Post this because the title

>>1432419
Intentionally cheesy in a B-Movie kinda way

>>1431984
That's really awesome

>>1431986

It's like they drew a cover for PIPE and one for MANIA and then were informed they were in fact one game, so they just used both at once.

I saw this one the other day. Fuckin weird man.

>>1429779
This guy

>>1430527
I'm sorry anon, but I must disagree with you. In my opinion that cover is neither weird nor bad, I believe it is very good.

Apologies for any confrontation.

>>1432448
Brother?

>>1431734
>>1431734
Asia Kong?

>>1432004
They usually went with the cartoon look for the japanese releases.

It's more faithful since it's based on the cartoon, but the comic style was downright awesome, IMO.

>>1429728
Unrelated but that fucking pacman game had the best fucking reactions i've ever seen in a video game.

>>1432000

>making the most astounding achievement of human society sound boring and rote and everyday

>>1430610
>>1430608
>>1430601
More like "Dicks, Dicks Everywhere"

>>1430571
To be fair that's pretty much what you can expect from an issue of Viz

>>1429520

>>1429585
>>not for use in the mattel of nintendo versions of the nes
>>licensed by nintendo for the nes

Yeah there where actually three versions of the NES in the PAL territories, the UK, Italy and Australia got a Mattel version and a NES version A while the rest of Europe got a NES B. The not for use in the Mattel of Nintendo versions means it's for version B.

It's all very stupid

>>1431737
the body proportions are all fucked up

>>1429819
Heihachi Mishima?

>>1432851
woo I'm drillman

>>1431612
>>1431630

>>1431630
It's real.

>>1433086
>>1431612
So it's an exact clone of Pac-man but with a single swear and different ghost names. What was the point of this? To bring Pac-man to the MSX, or make a profit of off what could barely even be considered a romhack?

I forgot how hilarious the "Ohhh SHIIIIT!" in "OH SHIT!" really is.

>>1433086
Winnie the Shit.

>>1431994

>>1433215
It's just a Pacman clone trying to stand out among a million, well, clones. That fact that it's still being talked about shows that it kinda worked

>>1430885
Looks more like Star & Wars cover art.

>>1432771

You ever played this? It's a Steve Meretzky game, and it's at least as weird as its cover. Great game.

>>1431860
Isn't that the guy on all those hunky Scotsman romance novel covers?

>>1433730
yeah it's Fabio

>>1433781

>tfw fabio's got an old person neck

>>1429706
Now I know where this is from

>>1430527
No.

>>1429564

Reminds me of Rygar.

>>1431983
I don't know why, but the thought of a "Bionic Granny" creeps me out a little.
>You have to go to your grandma's house.
>Grandma opens door.
>HELLO DEARIE SUBMIT YOURSELF TO THE COLLECTIVE
>Nope

>>1429531

Look at Mario. He's so bad-ass. He's like some sort of early 80's action guy. Look at that bad-ass mullet. Look at them muscles Look at that golden-ass hammer. I bet after he rescues his ladyfriend he's gonna drive her home in an '82 Firebird and blast some ZZ Top while banging her. This is just awesome.

>>1429713

How?

>>1430527

No nigga
nigga no

That's a bad-ass cover

>>1431409

B-but where is most honorable Emperor Hirohito-sama?

>>1430527
I too see absolutley nothing wrong with this cover.

It's perfectly acceptable.

>>1432009
>youll never play a game based off the Hells Grannies Monty Python sketch

>>1432448
>>1432501
whoa, thats fucking spot on

>>1433974

>these are true feels

>>1434039

FUCK YO TAIL, NIGGA!

>>1434046

This reminds me of Struwwelpeter. Disturbed.

>>1429529
Does that gorilla have a monocle?

>>1434016
got more of these?

>>1434957

It's really not bad.. I'm guessing there was a time when they thought the anime artwork would look too "foreign" or something. Much different nowadays.

>>1434907

'So, my shit has been glowing, has yours?'

>>1435153

As much as I've always hated this kinda shit, this isn't too bad. You know we would have loved the anime artwork if they had used it like for those early NES games, though.

>>1435153
So you try to fool people to buy a different game?
I never got the purpose of those "westernized" covers, both people buying the game for the cover or for the game itself won't be happy in the end.

>>1435153
>worried about looking too foreign
>the fucking logo still has kanji all over it

Plus none of these people on the cover really resemble anyone in game.

>>1435195

Well it does take place in feudal Japan, doesn't it?

They just thought the kid's heads would explode if they saw an unfamiliar art style. I don't like it either, but the art isn't that bad is all I'm saying.

>>1431840
The artist is a guy called "Tony Gonzalez", according to Wikiped.

>>1435202
I think the game takes place in China.

>>1435183

Well you can argue the ethics here of "tricking" the consumer into a deceptive or uninformed choice. Hell, that's practically common now to all products. All I'm saying is the artwork isn't bad.

>>1435391

Apart from cultural differences, what always bothered me is that, especially in the early like Mega Man or Dragon Quest games, the chibi anime art much better represented what you were actually going to see in the game.

>>1435153
>anime artwork would look too "foreign"
Dunno, dem chinese girl cartoons have been exported for a long while. Rather than "foreign" they probably thought it would be dismissed as "kiddy shit".

>>1435402

>rex nebular

Didn't they mean 'Ace Rimmer'?

>>1435397

They do definitely fit better, we can easily see that in retrospect. And it's pretty obvious why: video games are a multimedia project, and tampering with even one of the outlets not only deviates from the original game makers' aesthetic intentions, but the change is based purely on selling the product. So they fuck shit up to make a quick buck. I would assume most of us on here, since we're (mostly) adults on an image board about old video games, see the artistic merit of a video game and the importance of keeping all the pieces intact.

>>1429529
So that's were this is from. Huh.

>>1431295
>i pooped

>>1430837
.....Is.....is that Steve Martin?

>>1433858

Do... Do you mind if I write a story about this, Anon?

>>1431295

Heh.

>>1436313
>game set in Nazi fortress
>AK-47
heh

>>1436341
This game is actually pretty badass

This were from an old bad cover thread

>>1430426

You clearly posted Plok's US box art by mistake.

This is what you were looking for.

>>1436316
That face always makes me laugh

>>1429571

HE'S GONNA EAT ME!!

>>1436386
Reminds me of this.

>>1436551

>this is the cutesy original box art

Who the fuck ok'd this American cover art? Also, this game is by the same guy who did the D series of survival horror games.

>>1430445
Is this some stupid porn game?

>>1430857
quite the contrary. The 80s and 90s were more serious than it looks like. Pop culture today is more ironic.

>>1436310
is this the reason for 'Mega Man'

>>1431823
Looks like a washed-up lp cover of an 80's NWOBHM band.

>>1437384

I'm from the 80s and 90s, chief. Movies and games didn't all have to be grim and gritty and try to aspire to have serious themes (even though they often did). Even if they were serious, they had a sense of humor about themselves.

>>1436356
Actually the story is after WW2.

>>1429502
That was my reason for NOT renting Earthbound.

God I was a fool.

>>1436315

See >>1436356. Eugene Stoner's Retarded Stepchild wouldn't be introduced for almost 2 decades after Hitler got REKT.

>>1437431
Look at the Rival Turf cover. This is no joke. It's supposed to be grim and gritty in it's own 90s way.

>>1430753
>Gulp... sorry to disturb your youth group's skit about drug safety, boys!

Is it okay to discuss Game Boy Color games on this board?

>>1434907

where's the dungeon?

>>1437438

>story

>>1429632
what the Image Comics art?

Youngblood X 10

>>1429984

>Wanting to defile Pocky

>>1431340
Fuck you man that box art is great.

>>1431895
They were there to get you to buy the game. That's why they don't really bother with them anymore these days because all the info on the game is out online months before it gets released.

>>1429564
>solo monkey's

>>1433848
>Over 1/4 million sold in Japan

Talk about desperate.

>>1431737

Badass, huh?

Is a space shmup

>>1442469
That's just a photoshop using stuff from ads. He is a creepy sumbitch though...

>>1442501
Who's the fella anyway? I only know him as "that Gaiares guy"

>>1436564
Jesus, I love this issue
>Dorrmammu turns Hulk into a statue
>Give him to his sister, Umar
>Umar decides to fuck the Hulk and make him her strongarm lackey
>After Hulk cums, he turns back into Bruce Banner
>She gets pissed and demands Bruce bring the Hulk back
>He can't because he's way too mellow to get angry
>Does pic related to try to turn back into the Hulk

>>1442517

>>1437392
No.
RockMan got changed to MegaMan because Capcom didn't want to explain the whole "Rock and Roll" thing and that they assumed kids would be stupid and think he shoots out rocks.

>>1431506
The thing is that THIS is what the Turrican suit is supposed to look like.

>>1443818

...is it wrong that I want to check this issue out now? The premise just seems hilarious. Wouldn't happen to have a number, would you?

>>1429529
killer dong

>>1436038
You asshole! I want my sides back

>>1431986
Seems like they were going for the "in the court of the crimson king" effect.

>>1433896
You mean General Tojo, right? It would be unthinkably offensive to depict the Showa emperor on a video game box.

>>1434957
I dunno man, that looks kinda cool. Yeah it's not anime girls and guys with spiky blue hair, but it looks about as cool as anything else from the 80s--oh wait, Playstation? What were they thinking!

>>1445138

>unthinkably offensive

Can't violate those beautiful Japanese traditions.

The Japanese are only outdone in pretentiousness by the British.

>>1445161
I mean it wouldn't even make any sense. The Emperor is literally god to the Japanese. It would be like drawing Jesus instead of Winston Churchill.

More realistically, like drawing the Pope, but still...

>>1445167

>the emperor is literally god to the Japanese

You realize it's not 1941 any more, right? Japan is one of the most secular nations on Earth. I'm sure there are conservatives that feel that way, and everyone else pays lip service, but come on. They aren't ignorant peasants any more.

>>1445170
Excuse me, I meant in 1941. Jesus isn't "god" to the British either, except the few remaining non-muslim ones...

I'm saying it makes no sense to depict the emperor as one of the WWII leaders instead of Tojo. During WWII (and this is still true today) the Emperor was like the Pope, not the "temporal" authority, even if he was technically more involved in pulling the strings of politics than he had been during and up to the Edo period.

>>1445185

>except the few remaining non-muslim ones

Back to /pol/ with you.

>>1429632
>Jaleco

I'm noticing a trend here.

>>1429632
Japanese art isn't much better.

>>1445197

This is one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen. In a good way. Makes me want to play.

Is that dude wearing a bra?

>>1443821
I WOULD KILL SOMEONE FOR THAT FUCKING SHIRT

>>1445189
Eh come on man it was a joke to stop you getting all anal and saying "FALSE, actually Britain is a more religious country than Japan" or something.

Of topic sage and this discussion is pointless anyway.

>>1445308

Inexcusably horrid.

>>1429529
sorry

>>1445352
i r8 it 9/10 good job

>>1430562
Doesn't looks like it. But this on the other hand...

>>1445361
I don't think that's Liefeld either. The signature (Around his shoulder) looks like it says "Adam K"

>>1429558
that was precisely the point of the cover.

http://www.neo-geo.com/forums/showthread.php?36878-What-the-hell-does-an-old-guy-with-a-banjo-have-to-do-with-flying-a-spaceship&p=376318&viewfull=1#post376318

>>1430465

Holy shit. Someone has to have shown that to Steve Purcell. I wonder what he thinks of it.

>>1432004

It always confused me that our cover has the turtles hnched over a tiny New York while standing in a New York street. I probably shouldn't think about it too hard.

>>1432004
Surprising to me that the Japanese cover is just as aggro if not more than the US one.

Bought this game for 20 yen in Akiba last summer. 20 cents.

>>1445564
You paid too much.

>>1430465
that wasn't the only official art for japan

>>1445167

>It would be like drawing Jesus instead of Winston Churchill.

10/10 would play

>>1445185

>Jesus isn't "god" to the British either, except the few remaining non-muslim ones...

>>1436005
>story

This may be like a week late, but nope.jpg, write what you want.

>>1445953

>this guy pretends 'muh fundamental Islam' is why he isn't getting laid

Can everyone involved in this just cut it out?

>>1447003
Ignore, report and hide shitposts. You haven't got it down?

>>1437453

you dont know shit about the ar-15 platform. please.

>>1431734
Don't you mess with Kong, Hokuto and Toyota, motherfucker.

>>1436341
Every time I see this cover, I think of Ninja III: The Domination.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQFgV38TOyg&t=3m16s

>>1447703

Jesus Christ

Is the whole movie as amazing as the first five minutes?

>>1432009
Lance Vance in background.

>>1445308
Why capcom attract so many bad covers?

Captcha: syllogistic rlieset

>>1448992

kek first post is mine.

>>1433848
Video games didn't sell as large number back then.

The NES version had some gameplay issues, but cool exploration. Kind of metroidish. I'd call it a minor overlooked gem.

>>1447703
>Emerges from the water
>dry
Fucking ninja how do they work?

>>1449076
>>1449080

These are both sort of amazing.

>>1443821

>Gaiares
>Dat Japanese box art

Now that's what I call artistic nudity. Serious, hats off to the guy who did this.

>>1445127

What? They just mirrored the King Crimson - In the Court of the Crimson King album cover.

>>1448117
It gets loonier. It basically turns into a ninja version of The Exorcist.

>>1449076
Derp.