/vr/ - Retro Games

>people that flip by hitting both flippers at the same time
>sometimes they don't even aim, just flip the moment the ball hits the flipper

God damn that shit gets me mad. Unless you're like six years old, develop some proper fucking coordination and learn how to cradle.

>>1360503

I would like to press up against her and sink some balls.

>tfw playing medieval madness and the pop-up target launches the ball up into the glass with such force that it sounds like you broke something

scares me every time

>>1360651
Ha even worse during multi. you keep your attention on the one ball rolling in. And then bang you look like what the fuck and loose a ball. I can't be sure but i think the Sopranos one and. Playboy did that too.

Thinking of visiting the Pacific Pinball Museum with some friends in a couple weeks.

Anyone been there before? Looks pretty cool from their website, and you can even look inside via google street view which is kinda cool and crazy.

This is now a "girls playing arcade games" thread

>>1361008
TILT!!

>You don’t play pinball with just your hands, you play it with the groin too. The pinball problem is not to stop the ball before it’s swallowed by the mouth at the bottom, or to kick it back to midfield like a halfback. The problem is to make it stay up where the lighted targets are more numerous and have it bounce from one to another, wandering, confused, delirious, but still a free agent. And you achieve this not by jolting the ball but by transmitting vibrations to the case, the frame, but gently, so the machine won’t catch on and say Tilt. You can only do it with the groin, or with a play of the hips that makes the groin not so much bump, as slither, keeping you on this side of an orgasm.

And if the hips move according to nature, it’s the buttocks that supply the forward thrust, but gracefully, so that when the thrust reaches the pelvic area, it is softened, as in homeopathy, where the more you shake a solution and the more the drug dissolves in the water added gradually, until the drug has almost entirely disappeared, the more medically effective and potent it is. Thus from the groin an infinitesimal pulse is transmitted to the case, and the machine obeys, the ball moves against nature, against inertia, against gravity, against the laws of dynamics, and against the cleverness of its constructor, who wanted it disobedient. The ball is intoxicated with vis movendi, remaining in play for memorable and immemorial lengths of time. But a female groin is required, one that interposes no spongy body between the ileum and the machine, and there must be no erectile matter in between, only skin, nerves, padded bone sheathed in a pair of jeans, and a sublimated erotic fury, a sly frigidity, a disinterested adaptability to the partner’s response, a taste for arousing desire without suffering the excess of one’s own: the Amazon must drive the pinball crazy and savor the thought that she will then abandon it.

>>1361095
I remember when i was younger at my local arcade. I was watching this older dude using this method. Fucking pro status.

>>1361083
this is great

>>1361114
It's a classic subject

>>1361017
Not yet but I've been looking at it for a while. I went to that pinball museum in Las Vegas and it is fantastic. If you go, please post pics!

dat Red Tent

>>1361196
>Wanna come up and check out my joystick sometime?

>>1361204
Soon, the home computer will help run your life.

>>1360503
I'm loving these vintage butts.

>>1361123
>>1361127
>>1361157
>>1361160
>>1361210

>>1361223
>>1361224

>>1361230

never. stop.

whoa this is the best thread ever.

dem ashtrays

>models paid to pretend to play arcade games/pinball

>>1361224
a bunch of chicks pretending to play video games?

>looking at the camera when you're supposed to be looking at the screen

>>1361267
now thats a real woman who plays arcade

>>1361363
>>1361364
>>1361368
>merely pretending

i wonder if these were the
>im a gamer grrrrrrrrrrrrl dont hit on me silly boys XXXXDDDDDDDDDDd
of the 70s and 80s

>>1361098

yeah

This girl is fat but holy shit dem electro-mechanicals

>>1361667

psh psh psh psh psh that's just a paid model she's only pretending to hold a mallet and they photoshopped in the mallet later OBVIOUSLY psh psh psh psh psh

>>1361123
>SvC Chaos demo screen

Bitch didn't even put in a quarter.

Forgot her pants, too.

>>1361697

yeah exactly psh yeah psh they're "female" those degenerate "female" stupid people they are so beneath me and you psh psh psh *masturbates disdainfully while stroking beardfuzz*

>>1361718

*tips fedora*

>>1361157
>>1361160
dat hair

>>1361710
>>1361718
>psh psh psh
>psh

>>1361723

Please take your awful meme somewhere else

>>1361697
I still find it amazing that in 2014, you people think there's some ulterior motive to playing video games. Every time.

You people have truly forgotten what fun is, haven't you? God help you all.

Nothing even comes close to OPs pic. Too many disgusting teenagers and Asians.

>>1362821
The girl in OPs pic is almost certainly a teenager.

>>1361703
>fat

Those are curves. They are often found on healthy human females.

>>1362808

This is /v/, what do you expect, worst here since this is /vr/, most people are dangerously close to wizard territory.

You wanna see just how insane this board is regarding women? Go to /vg/ and find the mighty number 9 general, its just perpetual posting about some forum mod who happens to be an SJW, most of those people are convinced the game will be ruined because of her.

>>1362821

>Too many disgusting teenagers and Asians.
>Disgusting

Cause I'm sure you're a fucking adonis.

>>1362879
I've stayed away from that general because

a) there isn't much to talk about
b) nothing they talk about focuses on the actual game

So I bailed.

>>1362874
>curves
Hahahaha no. Her sides are as straight as a Kansas highway. Bulges are not the same as curves.

>>1362894
>bulges
>straight sides

???

>>1362896
Straight as opposed to actual girl curves, as are featured on most of the girls posted itt. Kansas highways also are not perfectly straight.

>>1362067

80's hair being gone for good makes me eternally sad.

>>1362885

Pretty much, the general is entirely pointless as there's nothing to discuss related to the game.

>>1360558
>I came here to post the same thing

>>1362808

there can be many ulterior motives to playing games

like making money off of let's play videos

>>1361703
she's actually chubby,not fat

>>1363273
"Chubby" is a nice way of saying fat.

>>1363309

Find a GF whose name doesn't end in .jpg.

>>1363273
>over 100 pounds
>not morbidly obese
fat advocates shouldn't be allowed to exist

>>1363447
Challenge accepted.

>>1363497
If you can describe your weight with pounds, you're fat. Nice try not trying to look fat, fatty.

I'm so thin, scales don't even pick me up.

H-hey guys. I-i-is there any good pinball games I can emulator?

>>1363510
There's a pinball emulator called PinMAME also the Crush series is a pretty good retro pinball console game.

>>1363506
>trying to quantify your weight using euclidean physics
i bet you're multi-cellular too
probably hasn't even heard of quantum pounds
surrounded by fucking corpuscles, what a rift

>>1363510
Sure. Just make sure you use retroarch running on a retron plugged into an LCD using an AV to HMDI converter.

>>1361095
>>1361098
the fuck?

>>1363510

You can always just grab Visual Pinball with VPinMAME and get the best thing in PC pinball next to the Pro Pinball series.

Best place to start for that is VPForums.org - it's the most centralized website as far as table downloads goes, and it's got a good installer and guide.

>>1360503
>The girl in OPs image is now in her sixties

>>1366383
She's 54. Her name is Vicki Witt. She was Miss August 1978. The pic is from that shoot.

>>1366383
>>1366501
Here's another pic of her enjoying the arcade lifestyle

>>1366383
People don't stop being attractive just because they get older.

>>1366515
Have another. Do you think she liked arcades?

>>1366539
If you look at how everything in those pictures is so blatantly "DISCO ERA", its obviously all staged. Probably thought pinball machines were kind of cool, like most people who aren't pinball fans do.

>>1360503
>you will never fuck a woman bent over a flipper-table while playing

why.jpg

>SIGN: Aries
>GOALS: I'd like to find some way to use the talents that I have to my best advantage. Singing and acting are definite possibilities.
>TURN-ONS: Sex in unusual places, massages, boy watching.
>TURNOFFS: Men who try to buy women with expensive gifts.
>FAVORITE ACTRESSES: Julie Christie, Raquel Welch, Angie Dickinson, Kate Jackson.
>FAVORITE PERFORMERS: Linda Ronstadt, Diana Ross, Stevie Wonder, Neil Diamond, Ohio Players.
>FAVORITE FOODS: Anything, as long as there is a lot of it.
>FAVORITE PASTIME: I like to see movies, then read the books they are made from.
>SECRET DREAM: To be shipwrecked on an island with Lee Majors.

Seems like probably a cool girl.

>>1362067
90s hair is best hair

>>1366560
Confirmed
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0936906/

>thread music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9H5qt_C5oM

>girls in arcades
>tfw I've never seen one in my local mall's arcade

;_;

>>1366636
Just be glad you have one - although the one in my mall has girls in it all the time.

>>1361196
>joystick
>Super Cobra
Any more dick jokes in this image? I was hoping they'd go for the hat trick.

>>1361289
10/10 would give skeeball tickets to

>>1361210
that picture is so awesome. on so many levels.

>>1366642
yeah, but mine is absolute garbage now to be honest.

what's sad is it used to be awesome. I have so many good memories from my child hood. the machines would print some tickets depending on how well you did, and you could trade them in

there used to be so many fucking good games. there was a shmup I still haven't been able to track down to this day.

now they've replaced the good old coin system with a card you have to purchase and pay yearly for and recharge with credits, and the prices aren't just inflated, they're custom for each machine. street fighter 4 machine costs $1.50 per credit, fucking ridiculous, and it's the only remotely good game remaining, besides time crisis.

it's fucking retarded. i'd rather stay at home.

>>1366668
That is truly outrageous.

>>1366648
Ever got into a fight over a girl? Sure you have! As a red-blooded American guy, would you stoop to wimpdom by allowing some geek to steal your girl without a bloodletting fight? Of course not! Whether on the dance floor, football field, street or arcade we are fighting for but one thing: Women!

Women are the only motivational factor in a Man’s life. Next to videogaming, cars, whiskey, football, fishing, soldiering, hunting and sailing, that is. And, pray tell, if there were no women to show off to, then what’s the point?

Therefore you won’t want to set foot in an arcade without a few lessons in manly comportment of the videogaming kind. Obviously, the breed of woman you’ll find common in these garbage disposals for quarters play for keeps. And obviously, there ore other “men” who claim our sex as theirs. Despite their prowess at these interesting and undoubtedly manly games, many fit the definition of “wimp”—which is to be avoided at any cost, no matter how ridiculous. Would you do bottle with the L.A. Raiders in a punk rock hair-do (not cut) and a pocket calculator strapped to you imitation leather belt that holds up you spandex pants? Of course not! Take your pick: Manhood or wimpdom.

Read Sylvia Plath, Judith Krantz or W.H. Auden? Over Robert Mitchum’s dead body! Drink pina coladas? Seek the Duke’s stomach and burp it! Cry over a dead rock star? To quote Josie Cotton, “Johnny Are You Queer?” As far as Men are concerned. Charles Olson is a lineman for the Pittsburgh Steelers, right?

Fact.- all women love the smell of success. The more money you’ve got—or the higher the score—the better. Wonder never again why you see ugly old men with ungodly beautiful, sexy, voluptuous women. The deck is stacked—and if you’re on the winning side, so are the women.

>>1366707
That's some seriously beta talk

>>1366668
>tfw the mall arcade near me closed down a decade ago

they had Raiden fucking 2 there, I'll never get to play it again outside of a console port

>>1366707
The only reason to go to the arcade, of course, is to meet girls. Can you honestly admit you enjoy spending every cent you’ve got at the arcade when, by applying a few rules of business horsesense, you can own your fave game for home use? No, you can’t. Say it loud, say it proud: Girls Are Great!!

All right, men, the first lesson commences… let’s discuss what Real Men Do Not Wear To Arcades . Real men do not wear:

1) Pink Lacoste shirts. If you’re a preppie, that’s entirely your own problem. Remember pink = Wimp. Any other color’s acceptable. But if you really want to be a sex symbol—and what Man doesn’t?—buy a VIDIOT t-shirt.

2) Designer jeans. Would John Wayne wear ‘em? Naw, the Duke’d don nuthin’ fancier than Levi’s. And his word’s law, right?

3) Top siders. Hey, you can’t even run in the damn things. Any sort of tennis, basketball, jogging, all-around athletic shoe is In, Converse All-Stars being the coolest. All boots are manly (except the kind that feature the bags-at-the-ankle look which is strictly new wave/punk rock jerk-like), and cowboy boots are obviously the best way to get your point across. Or up.

>>1366732
Before heading out for an afternoon of hopeful arcade fun, take a gander in front of the mirror. Any of your lunch still between your teeth? Scrub ‘em again, sailor. There’s nothing on earth that’ll turn off all the little women quicker than mungmouth. Take a quick whiff o’ the pits to make sure they’re just so. Also, remove any gold chains, punk rock t-shirts and scarves. They aren’t manly.

When entering the arcade, strut around the joint with your hands thrust deep m your pockets with an impervious scowl on your face. No, you don’t own the place, but remember the law of Supply and Demand: I demand that you supply me with as many women as I desire! You gotta let the girls know who’s boss, plain and direct.

Before playing your first round of, say, Robotron, you might want to buy a soft drink. How you drink the soda is far more important than what brand. Grasp the can firmly in the palm of your hand, fingers wrapped completely around it. Before taking the first swig, catch the eye of the hottest babe. As you lift the can to your lips (elbow bent 90°) propose a toast in her honor- Here’s lookin’ “at” you! Eyes locked in, throw your head back and empty half the contents down your gullet. Lowering the can, smile at her, then burp loudly. This is essential for your initial introduction. She’ll feel that inner glow of security knowing that a Real Man is present. Then…

>>1366737
Walk away. There’s plenty o’ fish in the video sea. Besides, it’ll be at least an hour before that girl will be coherent enough to start worshiping you . Always remember it’s your moral obligation as an American Man to hit on as many females as possible.

One popular method of picking up girls at the arcade is by zeroing in on a filly having difficulty on your favorite game. Stride over after she’s blown the game a few times and say “Havin’ a rough go at it, dollface? Lemme show ya the ropes.” Proceed to explain the intricacies and finer points of the game. Be polite but firm. After explaining, drop a token into the slot, and then “coach” her. After she triples her original score, you can bet it’ll be Suckface City from there on in!

Let’s reiterate a fact: good women are worth fighting for. If you spot some Elmo employing the aforementioned method, sidle up next to the non-couple, tap the jerk on the shoulder and say “Excuse me, cupcake, your mother says it’s time for your Ovaltine and beddie-bye!” The idea, manly reader, is to simply embarrass the worm enough so he’ll be forced to crawl back under the rock from whence he come. Use your lurid imagination Occasionally, however, the breezebrain will miss the point: stronger medicine must be administered. This doctor prescribes (delivered in the loudest voice possible): “When did they let YOU out of the TERMINAL HERPES WARD!?!” Once he’s on all fours, headed for the door, it’s a mere skate to the desired goal. It’s not really all that fair, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

>>1366731
;_;

>raiden 2

might as well ask, do you know of a shmup with a bomb/super that was a huge green rocket that covered the entire screen?

that's about the only thing I remember about the game...

>>1366739
In some instances, you may even be able to play fair. Let’s assume there’s a lustful lovely gazing on some dope racking up points on a game you know you can stomp the snot out of him on. Walk over, tap Percy on the shoulder and challenge him to a duel, winner (nod toward the babe) take all . The girl will be flattered that two men are going to duel over her — it’s an old trick that works every time. The only trick here’s not only do you have to beat the sap, ya gotta beat him bad. Show what a worthless sleazebag he really is.

If you’re really smart, before even challenging the bozo, hip your buddies to what you’re gonna do. Tell them that after you demolish the sucker at the game, you want one guy to approach the Big Loser and say, “Let meeee be the first to kick you when you’re down: maybe you need a pair o’ granny glasses!” Have your second pal say, “Don’t worry — I hear they’re making a braille version of that game!” Your third and final friend should say something like, “Please don’t cry out here — go in the little girls’ room!” And you, the Cool Winner, should turn to your new prize and ask, “Wanna hop in my van and listen to the new Rush album?”

Guaranteed to work every time!!

>>1360503 holy fuck those pants are disgusting
>>1361008 pretty much the 80's in general
>>1361080 meh
>>1361082 just literal AIDS
>>1361083 ok
>>1361123 whore
>>1361127 whore/man
>>1361132 meh
>>1361135 meh
>>1361150 9/10 would play tekken with
>>1361157 whore
>>1361160 old
>>1361162 ok
>>1361196 whore/man
>>1361210 man
>>1361219 meh
>>1361228 hung like a bear
>>1361230 autism
>>1361234 whore
>>1361267 man/autism
>>1361270 meh
>>1361274 underage
>>1361278 old whore
>>1361280 horse
>>1361282 meh
>>1361289 meh
>>1361292 "i have no idea what im doing"
>>1361294 old whore man with aids
>>1361301 meh
>>1361309 "hey sis pose so i can show my forum friends i have irl people to play with"
>>1361334 horses
>>1361347 8/10 would find her better fitting jeans
>>1361656 underage/boy
>>1361661 aids
>>1361664 meh
>>1361670 kill it with fire
>>1361676 "gun ace dis driving test mom"

i give up

>>1366742

Horizontal? Vertical?

Try Strikers 1945 Plus

>>1366804
>autism
>man/autism
What?

>>1366804
You sound either underage or retarded. Please go back to /v/ or /b/, or just get off 4chan and learn some maturity.

>>1366804
It's easy to see why you're so successful with the ladies.

>>1366804

>Autism, the post

Wow.

>>1366636
I've seen a couple girls in arcades over the years but by far more man boobs than the real thing.

>>1366835
>>1366853
>>1366854
>>1366856
Guaranteed derplies indeed.

>>1366901
I don't think you understand this board

>>1366560
>SECRET DREAM: To be shipwrecked on an island with Lee Majors.

Who wouldn't dream such a dream!

>>1366871
>tfw I've never met a girl who would play with me

so lonely ;_;

>>1369275

>tfw my gf kicked my ass at Tekken 3 and it took every last bit of self-control I had not to ragequit

FUCKING EDDY GORDO FUCK

>>1369332
I wish a girl would kick my ass at games

>>1369346
Just find a woman that plays Tetris. Unless she's like 60 years old, she'll probably school the shit out of you.

>>1369348
what makes women so good at tetris?

well, i don't like tetris very much. i like high-execution games; arena FPS like unreal tournament, fighting games. i suck at strategy, which gets my ass handed to me in the latter

>>1369356
because its casual, and if they play they probably play a lot

>>1369376
what. if a woman would play video games, why would she play tetris of all things.

>>1361095
>>1361098
>1988
That's one old ass copypasta.

>>1369403
89, actually. English translation came out a year after the original Italian.

>>1369376
I'd expect something like Mario to be considered casual, but definitely not tetris.

>>1360503
>machine-gunning the flippers

wouldn't that mean the player holds the flippers down?

God I suck at pinball.

I've always sucked, from the very first time I played as a kid.

It's always guaranteed that I will make the ball go directly between the flippers.

It sucks too because I really like pinball. The lights, the sounds, the mechanical aspect, the moving parts.. Unfortunately I never get more than a few minutes of play for my quarter.

>>1369383
>>1369420
it's a pretty basic puzzle game. if you go on tetrisfriends im sure half the users are female

>>1369491
Practise
Find one table that you like and focus on that, play the shit out of it and learn the rules of the table. You'll eventually learn to master it, and some tables are easier than others.

>>1361080

holy shit I remember playing that at a Tilt as a kid.

It felt like I was playing the future.

>>1369403
Mine is from 1981
>>1366707
>>1366732
>>1366737
>>1366739
>>1366743

>>1366707
>Next to videogaming, cars, whiskey, football, fishing, soldiering, hunting and sailing, that is.

Holy shit. That's a damn fine list of priorities.

>>1369332
I know that feel, my gf kicks my ass at Mortal Kombat, but only because she was taught to spam the punch button and move around like a fucking maniac
I doubt she even knows any special moves

>>1369635
and yet she still beats you

>>1360503

>>1369609
Ron swanson tryhard morelike, I'll bet you he only does a handful of those things, and poorly.

>>1366707
Girls don't like tryhards like you though, you're over compensating and I can smell it from here.

>>1370928
You obviously didn't read the copypasta or are seriously lacking in reading comprehension.

It's from "Vidiot" magazine, a briefly published but brilliant proto-nerd publication. It's obviously facetious.(Parks & Rec is also facetious, you know?)

Also, the article is from thirty years ago so it would be pretty amazing if he was trying hard to be Ron Swanson.

>>1370940
>You obviously didn't read the copypasta or are seriously lacking in reading comprehension.
>It's from "Vidiot" magazine, a briefly published but brilliant proto-nerd publication. It's obviously facetious.(Parks & Rec is also facetious, you know?)
>Also, the article is from thirty years ago so it would be pretty amazing if he was trying hard to be Ron Swanson.

Well excuse me for not being a walking encyclopedia of magazine articles from 30 years ago, and excuse me for assuming someone wrote several paragraphs of dumb shit on 4chan (because that's never happened before, right?). I'll just google the body of every large, dumb post I see on here to double check if some retard is spouting copypasta from now on.
>It's obviously facetious.(Parks & Rec is also facetious, you know?)
Yes, I am well aware, but that doesn't stop the moronic fanbase from trying to emulate him in the most autistic ways possible

tl;dr I'm sorry for thinking someone on 4chan is a dumbshit, and for not knowing about an article that is from a 30 years old magazine.

>>1370961

you must be a really fun person to be around in real life

>>1370972
Is that really the best retort you have? Such razor sharp wit! I'm impressed, man.

Beautiful booty bump