/vr/ - Retro Games

all of them

I have obvious ones in mind but i'll try to be original.

Dr jekyl and mr hyde is a pretty obscure shitty NES game

>>1267635
>Dr jekyl and mr hyde
>obscure
I can't tell if you're being serious or not

How about we try to avoid posting the obvious culprits that get shitloads of attention (ie Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde).

I would submit, the worst NES game from my own collection was Lynx' Winter Games. In this case, the Winter Games consist of Hot Dog Skiing, Speed Skate, Bobsled, and Figure Skating.

Of them, only Hot Dog Skiing was mildly amusing, as trying to do more than two tricks would result in your guy landing in an ugly heap, and then you waited for the judges to give you a 0.0 score. Bobsled, once you've done it a few times, you could win in your sleep. Speed Skate was merely alternating left and right, about three times a second was the correct rhythm for maximum speed.

But the rules for Figure Skating were fucking inscrutable as hell. Push A to Land! said the manual. I pushed A during the trick, and she didn't land. I pushed it right before her feet hit the ground, and she didn't land. I double pushed it as the trick started, she didn't land. I instead then HELD A and she didn't land. She can only land if you hold A at the exact halfway point of the trick. Spins, don't even bother, she has to complete six rotations for maximum points and becomes unresponsive after two, three, four, five, six, seven, THUD.

What a mess.

>>1267650
Maybe he doesn't watch AVGN, the game would be pretty obscure if not for him.

>>1267635
fuck off james

>>1267660
I knew, as I was writing that, that someone would mention Jekyll and Hyde.

>The games should be so horribly bad that they are actually entertaining to play.
Wow, I can't think of any.

>>1267675

Action 52

>>1267686
That is not entertaining.

>>1267702
One man's shit is another man's...shit.

I dunno, I find the game hilarious because of how awful everything is.

eh?

Also, Urban Champion.

>>1267650
Is the game famous or anything? Sorry I kinda live under a rock.

Spiderman and the X-Men: Arcade's Revenge. You see the badass cover art with an epic super hero war. You turn the game on; you're all excited to be Spiderman in the first level, ready to do whatever a spider can, but then you just run back and forth for a half hour collecting shit in a specific order. There are several lights around the level, and only one is lit at a time. You have to navigate a stupid fucking maze and follow your "Spider Sense" to find the one light that's currently lit up. You pass several dimmed lights in the process; they don't matter. You just have to find the one light in the convoluted fucking labyrinth of boredom, and when you find it, another light you passed ten minutes ago at the beginning lights up, so you climb out of the dull fucking abyss and find that one. But now a light in the maze is lit up. Are you getting the idea?

I beat the Spiderman level, but I don't think I ever beat any of the X-Men levels immediately following it. They're too damn hard, and they're not that interesting to play or look at. (Seriously, this game looks like a latter-era NES game. I'm not one to say graphics make or break a game, but this game isn't even trying to be visually stimulating.) The first X-Men parts are some of the most uninspired, generic platformer/beat'em up sections I've ever played. If the developers didn't give a fuck, why should I?

I haven't played these yet because my Famicom hasn't come in yet, but Japan (naturally) already has a word for it: kusoge.

Anyway, I've got:
Takeshi's Challenge
Ikki
Bird Week
Super Monkey Daibouken

I'm kind of excited about Bird Week. I mean, how could you NOT want to play this motherfucker?

This is /vr/ we don't play bad games, we only play games people like to believe are bad but only because they're stupid.

The game I remember playing as a child Ghostbusters on the NES. Japanese version. This tune is haunting my nightmares

>>1267739
>Bird Week

HOLY SHIT FORGOT ABOUT THAT GAME

I played that shit for a bit as a kid. I didn't pay too much attention to it but still tho... it's nice to remember a game you had forgotten about.

I can think of many games that are barely playable but horrible and entertaining?

Amagon? Probably not horrible enough...
Captain Planet and the Planeteers? Probably not entertaining enough...
Mickey Mousecapade?

Clu Clu Land

>>1267879
Fuck you Clu Clu Land is awesome.

How about we talk about bad games that aren't on AVGN...

Like every game in this thread you post has been on avgn

Fuckin' HOME ALONE 2 on SNES.

That shit.

I don't see what the point of this thread is, is there anything you can say about these game that hasn't already been said by AVGN, etc?

>>1267891
I've never watched any AVGN, so how would I know?

This game has Muppets, so it's always entertaining. Kinda terrible though.

>>1267891
I don't remember AVGN (or any of the other "notable reviewers") reviewing Captain Planet and the Planeteers for the NES which is something I have hoped him to do for years. That game really is toxic waste no one should expose themselves to.

Another game I could mention is the Hunt for the Red October which is Dr.Jekyll & Mr. Hyde bad.

>>1267891
I can't remember if he covered it or not, but Jaws is pretty terrible.

>>1267971
He did Jaws in his "Spielberg Games" episode

I have nightmares about this god awful peice of shit.

>>1267760
I'm not saying this isn't bad, but I kinda enjoyed it. That peppy fuckin music running around trying to save all those little kids from getting slaughtered!

It was impossible to find your way around inside of a cabin though.

>>1267971

I liked Jaws a little bit too, not a perfect game but I enjoyed playing it as a rental with my buddy years back. Did you know Westone apparently had a hand in making it?

The arcade version of this game seems like a decent driving simulator for its time, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Saturn and 32X ports do it justice. I own the Genesis version of this game and it plays like a glorious piece of shit and the YouTube videos I've seen make the SNES version look a little worse with it's lack of a track editor and not as good menu music. They also put this out on the Game Boy.

>>1267891

Did he ever talk about Action 52? Regardless, that game is well-known for being awful, without his input.

Also, I don't watch AVGN, so how the fuck am I supposed to know what he covers?

>>1268094
He covered action 52 and cheetahmen 2

This game is pure shit. It's controls are sluggish, your slingshot only travels a very short distance, the music is repetitive, and it is just plain not fun to play. It was all I had as a kid for Game Boy other than Kirby's Dream Land and I hated it.

>>1268252
Night of the Living Treehouse of Horror is fun.

>>1267650
I'm surprised it took till post #3 for AVGN to come up in this thread

>>1267725
Welcome to 2006

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M_4Yqk65f8

I cant think of any that jump out at me right now on the NES or SNES. Ill have to think back but, Pretty much any game on the GB or GBC that was based off an animated movie.

Especially this heap.

>>1267891
I can't believe he was bitching so much about McKids... in my opinion it's probably the second best corporate tie-in game after Spot Goes to Hollywood. It was challenging, but not that hard, varied lands and gameplay, decent controls, and some unique physics. I consider it an 8/10, not in the least bit shitty.

Rocky & Bullwinkle for the NES
What a pile of shit

>>1268309
Fuck, I played this. Many times.

>>1268347
I don't think I made it passed the 2nd level in all honesty.

Worse than Shaq-Fu. At least that game was memorable in a bizarre sort of way.

It was originally a Ramna 1/2 game before it was "Street Combat", maybe it was better then.

>>1267736

I actually liked the Spiderman level in the beginning, but after that the game gets so much worse.

Good title music, though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8Q0s95SRXM&list=PL224CFF3B77A60C49

>>1268324
What's the best platform for McKids and Spot Goes to Hollywood?

>>1267891
How about fuck off, not everyone watches that twat or knows what games he has or hasn't played.

>>1268354
Neither did I. I just gave up out of boredom and frustration at that point.

>>1268387
Mc Kids the NES version is best, Spot Goes to Hollywood is best on PSX or Saturn, although I prefer Cool Spot to that game.

>>1268071

>not playing it on the definitive c64 version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntEz4o5eq7k

>I wouldn't be surprised if the Saturn and 32X ports do it justice.

Unforunately, they don't. Pretty much every single port of Hard Drivin'/Race Drivin' turned out a disaster. By the time consoles came out that could run the game competently, the game was just too dated to be any fun.

>>1267949
>toxic waste

>>1268398
Yeah, I'm a diehard fan of Cool Spot.

>>1268398
Thanks bro.

>>1268389
http://cinemassacre.com/category/avgn/avgnepisodes/

you're welcome

>>1268404
C64 port confirmed for best sound and graphics.

>>1268429
You seem to be under the mistaken assumption that I WANT to watch it.

>>1268457
wow so edgy

>>1268460
>hur you can't talk about games if some youtuber already did
I repeat: fuck off
This isn't /avgn/

>>1268463
It shouldn't be that way, but avgn casts a long shadow. A critical mass of people interested in the topic have now seen his show so it needs to be factored in to a general conversation about bad classic games.

I just watched it a month ago for that reason. It was better than I expected.

>>1268498
You can't be serious.

>>1268540
>hasn't watched the show
>thinks he's entitled to have an opinion on it

>>1268540
About which part?

>>1267739

For being a piece of shit, that Super Monkey game is expensive.

In b4 "Kacho played it"

>>1268463
I've already heard AVGN's opinion and reviews of the flaws of these games. Do you really think you are somehow going to bring up some flaw in the game that AVGN hasn't already discussed in his videos?

>>1268562
super monkey daibouken is famously shitty though, honestly I dont think its any worse than that one RPG where the kids have psychic powers THAT ISNT EARTHBOUND. I cant remember the name of it but its 100x uglier than SMD too which gets called worst famicom game by a lot of sources.

>>1268562
not really, it sells for a few bucks cart only, and I got it CIB in almost mint condition for 30 a few months ago.

>>1268463
This may not be /avgn/, but James Rolfe is essentially /vr/'s Anthony Fantano.

Like his reviews or not (hell avoid his reviews or not), his web series has a huge impact on the discourse here (and elsewhere on the web) that isn't going away just because you don't like him.

>>1268578
Who is Anthony Fantano?

>>1268578
omg that faggot is such an idiot, I don't know why anyone wastes their time with him, opinions on music are the fucking stupidest shit less credible than any other opinion on any other hobby or pastime.
.

>>1268578
>a huge impact on the discourse here
>a guy who literally shits and pukes on videogames because lel so fanny xD
>The only times he is ever mentioned here is by underage crossboarders

>>1268589
scarufi for plebs

>>1268608
settle down, son.

>>1268562
>For being a piece of shit, that Super Monkey game is expensive.

Not really.

I did buy it because of Kacho though.

>>1268608
The scatological scenes are a bit broad, I agree, but they are great way of visualizing and realizing that frustration and anger you get when playing a really shitty game. The game shits on you so why not shit on the game? Of course none of us are actually going to shit on the game, so we can enjoy it by proxy by watching AVGN do all the things we wished we could do.

>>1268608
That is so off base its not even funny. like it or not the AVGN has a huge influence on the retro gaming community. Hell he might have even helped start the bubble you all whine about. If you don't think his millions of fans have had any impact on the rest of us you are full retard son.

Guess what, AVGN has his own forum! You can go ride his dick there.

>>1268608
AVGN has been making retro video game reviews on his show since 2004. That is almost 10 years! He has had tremendous influence on revitalizing the retro-gaming hobby throught the world. Do you even remember what the retro scene was like before AVGN? Did you even play retro games before 2004 (not counting playing when they first came out, since it wasn't retro then). AVGN was the first popular retro video game reviewer online, and because of him, he inspired many others to get into retro video games reviews as well, creating even more retro buzz, reaching new viewers, further building the retro gaming scene. AVGN's use of poop/fart/puke and other such "juvenile" jokes was crucial to this success. He attracted the 14,15 yr old kids (and older of course). They came for the diarrhea, and left with an interest in retro games, games which they probably would not have heard of from other sources. In short, you and everyone else in the retro gaming community owe a huge debt to James Rolfe, and you should be grateful to him and show him respect, even if you don;t watch his videos yourself.

>>1268663
>Did you even play retro games before 2004
Yes I did, and I didn't need some useless cunt that appeals to braindead teenagers to do so.

>>1268663
I remember my faggot ex-friend running to me and telling me about this epic AVGN guy back around 2004/5. I never found him funny, and I've always been a classic gamer. Underage Youtube kids need to leave /vr/.

>>1268663
Not that I think he pulls it off anywhere near as well, but it is clear that the scat humor is heavily influenced by Troma. While certainly low-brow, it's not necessarily juvenile by default.

>>1268670
The point is whether you like his style or not, most of us are well aware of most of his reviews and accept his impact on the community as a whole in attracting new members. Just like on, let's say /mu/, more of the talk about Fantano is negative or at least with some level of implied humor/irony, he is discussed ad nauseum. Whining about it won't change the influence of either web reviewer. You just sound like an angry aspie by acting so superior that you refuse to acknowledge the popularity.

There is no escaping the references, so at least accept it and get on the hate train, or just ignore silently.

>>1268696
says the kid who is probably just avoiding the b&waggon by all of 6 months.

>>1268701
Says the AVGN dickrider Youtube faggot who is definitely underage.

>>1268663
>revitalizing the retro-gaming hobby

Whether you think he was funny or not ever (I think he's well past his prime), he ain't funny anymore.

I want /v/ to leave.

>>1268670
Believe it or not you CAN make a point without being a fucking asshole about it.

Deadly Towers.

To this day I still want to hunt down and slowly torture to death anyone who had anything to do with that abortion.

>>1268742

Dark Castle. Milons Secret Castle. Castlevania 2.

>>1268696
If a 14 year old started watching avgn in 2006 he'd be 21 yrs old today.

>>1268309
the gb/gbc probably has the worst shovelware to good game ratio ever

>>1268742
>>1268763


AVGN already did all of those. I would expect more from this thread than people just looking at the AVGN episode list, and copying all the games he reviewed in to here.

>>1268763
Those games arent even bad. Dark Castle is an alright action computer game that got a shitty console port, and the other 2 are just a little too ambitious for the time and not shitty. nice try though avgn kid

>>1268828
why do companies do this? Does this ever make them money? Are enough people ever duped into buying shit like that that the company makes a profit? No of course not where is THQ now lol

>>1267715

Urban Champion in Abbobo is cool tho

>>1268404
Of all fucking platforms, the NES version is not only the most impressive, but also the best version.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWacLAxHZzk

This game was eventually cancelled.

don't post in this thread. this is where that retro angry video game faggot piece of shit steals all his ideas/oc/jokes from.

>>1268849
All they have to do is manufacture a cartridge with a popular thing's logo on it, and a lot of dopes will buy it. I guess a lot of this went away as more people were better informed of what they were buying, unlike 10-30 years ago when all you had were magazines and word of mouth

>>1268860
why are you so upset though

>>1268860
You realize he was reviewing games for years and years before /vr/ even existed right? If anything, you lot are stealing jokes from him.

>>1268562
Super Monkey Daibouken, according to Chrontendo, is "to video games as to what Penn and Teller's Desert Bus is to racing", and has compared it to "some aliens finding and 8-bit computer, playing some games, and deciding to make a game of their own. The graphics are there, the music is there, the game works, but it just isn't right."

Most of the budget was spent on the commercial. For 1986, these are some impressive effects.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N6Gjvn4B7E

>>1268563

Hoshi Wo Miru Hito. Seriously, how is it even excusable for games to be this kind of bad? Were the programmers amateurs? Were they severely handicapped? Were they asked to make the game within a weekend?

>>1268460
You are not welcome here

>>1268663

I'm just in it for the games, not any pathetic "scene" or "culture".

I'll also laugh you straight in the face for even suggesting that i'd show gratitude or respect to a youtube shitter.

Get fucked you manchild.

>>1268663
Wow. What a colossal faggot. Does the guy pay you to suck his cock and blow smoke up his ass or something?

>>1268694

He's a huge Troma and classic to 80a horror fan so its not surprising.

Why do people who hate AVGN seem to know the most about his videos? I mean yeah, you see a bunch of fuss and you decide to see what's up with him. Yeah, that's fine. It's only natural that you would.

But some of you niggas have his entire video library memorized. How? Did you watch years of content that you didn't like? For what purpose?

I never watched him (and don't really care to--I like retro video games on youtube, but don't care for reviews) and know nothing about him. Yet all you who are vehemently against him know exactly which games he's reviewed and when.

>>1269354
Not really -- the argument started for the opposite reason. People who didn't like him felt they should be able to talk about shitty games without having to know what games he's discussed.

Which they should, ideally, but many people they're talking with will already have avgn episodes as a reference point so it's going to come up.

>>1269365

Fair point. I guess I was kinda reacting to how it goes in other threads.

Like...I don't think Simon's Quest or TMNT1 are very good games, but any time I bring this up, some guy who hates AVGN starts shitposting and acting like there's no way anyone could have formed those opinions on their own. It's pretty annoying.

>>1269365
This exactly. For example, I've already seen the AVGN episodes covering Ghostbusters, and they were pretty in depth. Do we really need to talk about this again, I just feel like anything relevant has already been said by AVGN and most people here have already seen the episodes, so discussing it here, it's like what's the point? AVGN already did it, and the best we could do is to just parrot the episodes, and at that point, why not just rewatch the AVGN episode instead of talking about it.

It used to be that talking about a bad game with someone meant that you had both gotten duped into playing it and got pissed off at it's shitness. You have something in common with that person, like you had both gone through this "traumatic" experience. But when you're discussing a game AVGN reviewed it's more like the experience you both had was you both watched the episode.

>>1269382
>and the best we could do is to just parrot the episodes

If you experienced the game and give your story, that is not "parroting"

In addition, even if you two had the same experience, it is not "parroting"

Jesus, these games are just lines of code. The same lines of code that came in all of our NES carts and or ROMs. It's entirely possible for two people to have the same/similar experiences.

>>1269382
Eh, it's a good starting point, but there's always more to add and not everyone agrees with his takes.

I haven't beat it but I kind of like Jekyll and Hyde for instance. Just because he's said something doesn't take it off the table for discussion.

>>1267736
>I beat the Spiderman level, but I don't think I ever beat any of the X-Men levels immediately following it.

Wait, that's not just me? I just assumed I sucked at the game, is it generally considered that the levels after the first one are bullshit?

>>1269390
>It's entirely possible for two people to have the same/similar experiences.
Or completely different ones, which is something these droids apparently cannot comprehend.

>>1269382
>I just feel like anything relevant has already been said by AVGN
Then why are you even on this board? Clearly you let AVGN do all your thinking for you, so there's no need or reason to discuss anything with you.

>>1269390
OK, but in any bad game there is a set of problems that are wrong with it, and the set is not infinite. So AVGN does his video, he enumerates all the problems with the game. Then you make your post and you enumerate the problems of the game. Even if you didn't watch AVGN, the game is still going to have the same problems, so your post is going to be pretty much essentially the same as the AVGN episode about the game. Since most people on the board have already seen the AVGN episodes, I don't see the point of trying to rewrite his episode in your own words in the post. It's going to be the same criticism's that everyone's already seen, so it's a waste of time.

Instead focus on the games AVGN hasn't done reviews for. That keeps discussion more interesting and lively because there hasn't been a definitive review made, so there's a lot more things up in the air for discussion, or the poster could miss one of the flaws and someone brings it up, and then another poster argues that really wasn't a flaw, etc you can see how it creates much more discussion.

Am I the only one who could find something to enjoy in every game I played as a child? Obviously I liked some games more than others, but I can't think of one I really hated.

>>1269469
I was that way for the SNES as a child, even with games universally considered shitty like Batman Forever. I think it was when my family got an N64 that I started realizing not all games were good.

I still like Bubsy, though.

>>1269469
As a kid there was always the 1 game I didn't like that I had.

Speaking of which I remember one really bad SNES game I had.

the only bad Tradewest game I think I played.

>>1269469

> When you’re young the odds are very good that you’ll find something to enjoy in almost any movie. But as you grow more experienced, the odds change. I saw a picture a few years ago that was the sixth version of material that wasn’t much to start with. Unless you’re feebleminded, the odds get worse and worse. We don’t go on reading the same kind of manufactured novels—pulp Westerns or detective thrillers, say—all of our lives, and we don’t want to go on and on looking at movies about cute heists by comically assorted gangs. The problem with a popular art form is that those who want something more are in a hopeless minority compared with the millions who are always seeing it for the first time, or for the reassurance and gratification of seeing the conventions fulfilled again. Probably a large part of the older audience gives up movies for this reason—simply that they’ve seen it before. And probably this is why so many of the best movie critics quit. They’re wrong when they blame it on the movies going bad; it’s the odds becoming so bad, and they can no longer bear the many tedious movies for the few good moments and the tiny shocks of recognition. Some become too tired, too frozen in fatigue, to respond to what is new. Others who do stay awake may become too demanding for the young who are seeing it all for the first hundred times.

Pauline Keal.

>>1269494
This is why I don't watch Hollywood movies.

>>1269475

i loved bubsy as well

>>1269469
When I was a kid, I had two consoles. An NES (which was broken but fixed as of last night) and a Famiclone. When the NES worked, we had a library of classics such as:

>Karate Champ
>Karate Kid
>Back to the Future
>Friday the 13th
>T&C Surf Designs
>Operation Wolf
>Popeye
>Mario Bros/Duck Hunt
>Contra
>TMNT
>Ghostbusters
>Spy Hunter
>Fester's Quest
>Wizards and Warriors

There were only a handful of games that were actually decent, I believe you can see which ones were the good ones. We eventually got a second batch of games.

>Mario 2
>Mario 3
>Kickle Cubicle
>TMNT2
>Casino Kid

Which were tremendously better. Might've been more, but that's all I remember.

As for the Famiclone, I had a bunch of those multi-carts, mostly owing to the labels stating that they had Mario 3 on them, and I recall being really fucking desperate to find Mario 2 for the Famiclone. Pretty sure they pirated the game, but I couldn't find it.

But what I did find, though, was a bunch of classics, all thanks to the pirates.

>Tom and Jerry
>Goonies
>Battle City
>Snow Bros
>SD Hero Soukessen
>Toxic Crusader (though this appeared to be hacked to make the player unkillable)
>Kunio Soccer (called Goal 3)
>Kunio Hockey
>New Ghostbusters 2
>Snake Rattle and Roll
>Final Mission
>Captain Tsubasa

And many others. There were games that "kinda sucked", and there were games that were inimpressive, but I enjoyed. Ironically, the Famiclone is what gave me a discerning taste.

Drakkhen is a bad game but I honestly think it could have been good

It has great music though

>>1267949

Aqualung did it, he's right on the boundary of being "notable" though (since he doesn't do comedy skits for kids and therefore isn't popular): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stIEn-p84G4

>>1269704
I fucking love Aqualung. There's just something about the way he talks that's funny.

>>1269378

it's just part of 4chan, it's a dumb forum for opinionated young people who are bad at communicating

unfortunately it's also pretty close to being the best the Internet has to offer, so here we are

>>1267739
Takeshi's Challenge does look like hot garbage but you have to admit, there are a lot of cool mechanics in it.

Pit Fighter on the SNES is probably the most horrendous game on the system, far surpassing the likes of Shaq Fu. It has to be seen to be believed.

>>1269378
>Simon's Quest or TMNT1 are very good games

They aren't that bad either, and for a while you couldn't go the comments of a Simon's quest video on YouTube without seeing a bunch of "This game sucks, AVGN rulez!" comment, so I guess there is maybe some backlash against that kind of stuff.

>>1269736
Are you the dude who was going around a few days ago defending Shaq Fu with the retarded argument that because Pit Fighter was worse, Shaq Fu was ok?

>>1269746
No, Shaq Fu is a terrible game as well.

>>1269712
Sounds like he's from Boston.

"R' else, you'll hit the wawl and die, n' that's buwlshit."

Are all his reviews this long and rambling?

>>1269736
I never played this and decided to give it a shot and oh my god.

What the hell is this?

>>1269751
OK, I'm just finding it weird that with all the terrible fighting games on the SNES, you're the second guy to make some kind of comparison between Pit Fighter and Shaq Fu.

>>1269770
I'm done, I'm laughing too hard at this shit.

>>1267891
ok inb4 he does Trojan (NES) then

>>1269764
It depends on the length of the game. Karate Kid is a short game, so his review is also short. He does his videos in two parts, the actual review and a walkthrough of the game. Most of the length is made up from the walkthrough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJRtbvUWrV4

>>1269790
Once you get the hang of it and know what to get, Trojan is REALLY fucking easy.

>>1268828
I had that when I was a kid. So much lost time trying to get to the end. Looking back, it was so fucking horrible.