/vr/ - Retro Games

It's weird that Capcom has never referenced the original game in anything that the Noid version was a reskin of.

xmen nes

I like Yo! Noid. I doubt OP has played a lot of licensed games if a competent Capcom platform game like this is his pick over the usual rogues gallery of licensed trash on the NES.

>>11215462
They knew it was kusoge which is why they stuck the Noid license on it and localized it to pad-out their release schedule.

>>11215473
OP here. The art style and idea is fine. The game is a pain in the ass with the pizza minigame and constant bullshit like the levels with the screen scrolling.

It's literally doesn't have anything to do with the Noid. They just slaped the claymation rabbitroo on it and called it a day.

>>11215451
The GBC was the king of shit licensed games
Godzilla: the Animated Series and Bug's Life were particularly atrocious

>>11215451
>character intentionally designed to be unappealing
>let's make a game about him
Was it at least free or something? Should be since it was advertising.

>>11215538
No I think you bought it like a regular game with money.

>>11215451
Armorines: Project Swarm, I think it was based on a comic or something. Bought it with allowance money because I thought it would be super cool, I don't know why.

>>11215462
what was the original game?

>>11215538
they learned from it since they only ever since then hired miku for a once-in-20-years promo instead of trying to invent a new oc and invest the marketing into forcing them to be popular

>>11215532
It isn't too unfitting for The Noid since his whole thing was using weird contraptions and there's some of that in this game. That aside, I just think it's a fun game. It's challenging without feeling like bullshit. And honestly, The Noid is funnier than the original protagonist in the Japanese version, so I'm not too bothered with the reskin. Though the ninja battles were better than the pizza-eating contests.

>>11215581
Eh. Maybe I should have used a better example. I loved Gilligan's island and played the NES game and it fucking blew out my ass.

>>11215585
I've never played that one. I've heard it's pretty bad. I've played a lot of them and it would be hard to choose, since so many of them are unplayable. X-Men is definitely a strong contender. I also remember playing some Robin Hood one based on the 80's movie that was not only boring as hell to play but I also remember all of the graphics being brown on brown, so it was ugly too.

PC/micro licensed shovelware is a different beast when it isn't the usual application but with a licensed skin. The west is probably a bit better when it comes to licensed PC/micro trash in the 80s, but I've also been "lucky" enough to only get videogame licenses for western systems of that time. I might have one, but I'd have to check.

Here's Project A based on the 1983 Jackie Chan movie. I had to cut out the exciting extra 30 seconds of me being beaten up. You actually beat pirates by getting them on the ground and attacking them, iirc they'll get back up otherwise. Then a big pirate shows up and you beat him and the game loops. The game is as stiff as it looks.

>>11215605
Is Jackie Chan supposed to be the green man?

>>11215605
Finds it funny how ree-rees jerk it to muh MSX when 98% of MSX games look like this lmao

>>11215605
This here is a based on the movie of the same name as well. It's a maze game where you move around and open doors to check for items or events to progress. You get a laser to fire, iirc one stage has a friendly "ghost" that isn't allowed to die, but enemies will be able to fire at some point. It doesn't seem quite as bad due to the simple base gameplay, but the ally stage saw my ally die quite a bit and the final stage is a blind maze where you'll have to find the right door (you can see the knobs) and have an extra short timer. Notice the Ponyca logo once again.

>>11215609
Yes. His name is green so he will be green. He's white in the MSX version, but every player controlled object is white/white outline on that.

>>11215612
They'll probably be jerking to the MSX2 at the earliest as they don't differentiate. Everyone ignores the MSX1 except people who have tolerance for early 80s PCs.

>>11215451
>On January 30, 1989, Kenneth Lamar Noid, a mentally ill man who believed that the "Avoid the Noid" campaign was personally directed towards him and was antagonizing him, entered a Domino's restaurant in Chamblee, Georgia. Armed with a .357 Magnum, Noid then held two employees hostage for over five hours.[9]

>>11215615
The nice thing about these early games is that there's so few colours, means I can be lazy with the few .webms I have. This is probably the least offensive game I have played, but it is exceedingly simple for a 3200 yen game.

>>11215619
This one's originally a western game (Comptiq ported a lot of those) and the port doesn't change too much either. Works fine despite being on PC-88 too. The .webm doesn't actually show much except how the fighting is a bit janky, best to just jump kick and then run away to jump kick again. It's actually a decent little flip-screen platformer. I guess Bruce Lee wins this.

>>11215618
Hero. They killed him all because he asked for free pizza and wanted them to stop using his annoying name against him.

>>11215628
This one is based on Cannonball Run II (Japanese title is Cannon Ball 2). It's just an avoid cars and jets bombing you, but shunt fuel tankers slightly to regain fuel through osmosis. Shunting enemies in the same way won't lose you fuel (which is also health) and you can set your speed. Probably the better one of the posted Ponyca titles.

probably one of those Jimmy Neutron games for gba, I don't remember which one specifically I played, maybe the Jet Fusion one?

Would be strange to not include a Gundam license game. This one being a fixed-screen shooter with 2 very similar stages that repeat. It's acceptable, but again for 3800 yen it's not cheap for what you get. That is the tape price as well.

>>11215647
Skipping the licensed ADV games, here's a strategy game for Xabungle. iirc there was a version with actual graphics, but this is what I played. The game kinda feels 3 years outdated which is saying something considering what the Japanese had back then.

>>11215658
Skipping the mahjong licenses with mahjong title. Is Hugo a non-videogame license? This game sucks either way and that was with the fastloading version. Find your way through a maze, checking the map costs gold. Getting out has you jump over a bridge that is quite easy without a phone delay and then you get pick-a-door where I always got fucked.

>>11215667
I forgot I had this as well, a very slow strategy game where the first thing you do is turn off the options announcer that will constantly read out whatever you click. Enemies will spawn without a warning meaning you'll have to do the mission over again when it does actually require some thought. The biggest sin a strategy game can commit is being exceedingly slow without the player being at fault. It's also just a bit old fashioned for 1992.

>>11215671
I can probably find a few more, but I'll probably start repeating myself with some of these games. Generally Gundam/mecha games all end up the same 2 ways back in the day.

>>11215451
This reminds me I still need to play this game.

Yo Noid isn't even that bad of a game though.

>>11215717
It's fun, I mean it's still NES Capcom. OP is just a zoomie.
>playing it is similar to having all the skin ripped off your body
Oh you poor baby. It isn't.

>>11215451
A Week of Garfield.

>>11215451
filtered

>>11215451
Avoid the Noid!

>>11215618
I think he was a little bit para-noid.

>>11215451
DS Happy Feet. The box even promised a game mode that was pulled from the final version and the rest was duller than penguin poo (verification not required)

Wayne's World might be as bad as any other game ever made and I will never stop shitting on it.

>>11215868
CAAAAAAAARLOS!

>>11215750
Okay what about this one. Bill & Ted's excellent adventure.

>>11215451
The Uncanny X-Men on the NES. Nothing else comes close. It's unplayable.

>>11215605
>The west is probably a bit better when it comes to licensed PC/micro trash in the 80s
That just looks like every game only British people have played

>>11216062
There's more countries than Britain and being on-par with a ZX Spectrum is a negative unless the machine is worse than a ZX spectrum.

>>11215451
Total Recall (nes)

>>11215451
Tool Time

>>11215605
Is this a covid simulator?

>>11216330
Tool Time isn't terrible but it's not good either. I just can't believe it even got MADE

>>11215615
>They'll probably be jerking to the MSX2 at the earliest as they don't differentiate. Everyone ignores the MSX1 except people who have tolerance for early 80s PCs.
Yeah, I think most focus on MSX2 releases and/or games by Konami while ignoring that the majority of MSX games are low effort shovelware that looks like ass.

>>11215619

What decides if she falls?
I could see no discernable reason why she'd suddenly fail and lose a try.

>>11215619
She gets hit in the face by a Panic Ball™.

>>11215801
>A Week of Garfield
Pure sovl

>>11216484
She gets hit in the face by a Panic Ball™.

>>11215462
After the surprise success of Rokkuman, I can only assume it was an attempt to kick off another original action platformer franchise from scratch, but when it didn't really catch on, they just dropped it.

>>11215578
Apparently it used the same design as the Wagan Land games.

>>11216597
Forgot pic

>>11216498
Pure jank, 1984-NROM-tier graphics aside, this game plays like ass, and despite that I completed it. This is the worst game I have ever completed.

>>11215451
The Amazing Spider-Man 3: Invasion of the Spider-Slayers (1993/Game Boy)

It's a shame, because I love the previous ones despite them being subpar, the good they had was enough to keep me playing... but here? No, the ending to this perfectly sums up my feeling towards playing it, I just can't be bothered to really play this one. I tried and it just sucked.

>>11216618
It's baffling that the game was made at all. D-list developer, Japan-only, not even based on the Garfield & Friends cartoon that was out around the same time.

I don't remember knowingly paying many licensed games, worst was either pic related or one of the Rebel Assault games.
>>11215545
I actually own that one, kid me was really into Starship Troopers so it activated all the right neurons. But even back then I couldn't handle the controls or slow down. Never got far, kind of want to go back and finish it.

>>11216006
The last level doesn't load like it should, so the game instead gives you hints on how to unlock the stage select, including one written on the game cartridge itself. That's just plain low.

>>11215993
Not him but Bill & Ted is one of those games that isn't good and I would not recommend nor would I sit down and play, but it's at least playable. If you owned it, and you sat down and put the time into it, yeah, you'd get good enough at it and figure out what you needed to do in it, and you'd be able to beat it consistently. When we're talking about the worst licensed games, the bar is set very low because games like >>11216006 exist where they're just an 8-bit mess and you can't even beat them without using cheat codes. Hell you start up that game and if you play one-player it saddles you with a computer-controlled player that doesn't work because it just moves at random and you have to wait for it to die before you can continue. At least Bill & Ted functions.
You can look at that screenshot of Bill & Ted and you can make out a tree, a rock, grass, two humans. A reasonable person could assume they're in a forest. Essentially you can tell the very basics of what's going on. But you look at a screenshot of X-Men and what the fuck even is this shit. It's just 8-bit shit.

>>11217475
Okay you make a good point. I think I get what the comments were saying about games like Yo! Noid! now. I got filtered by their annoying instant death holes and sidescroll levels and took it out on the quality. It's a playable game. A bit annoying but not the worst. How about I pick out a real garbage dump game

Porky's for the fucking Atari.

>>11215451
I still can't get over the fact that an actually mentally retarded man thought the Noid was meant to be a mockery of him, so he held two Domino's employees at gunpoint and demanded $100k from the CEO.

>>11217558
and they killed him so his life wasn't even worth 100k for "stealing" his name without permission lmao.

>>11217558
>>11217562
>you now realize that Kenneth Noid was right all along, and the entire campaign was intended to draw him out into a confrontation with police so that he could be institutionalized and eventually "suicided"

>>11215462
It wasn't developed by Capcom, just published by them.

>>11215498
>pad-out their release schedule
nintendo only allowed publishers to publish so many licensed games a year.
that's why ultra existed, which was really konami.
i doubt major publishers pissed away their allocated number of games if they thought one would do badly.

>>11217650
Yes, but as far as I can tell the other company was effectively a ghost developer - their name isn't on it and Capcom claims credit. For all intestine purposes, it's a Capcom game.

>>11217738
>”for all intestine purposes”

>>11215451
I think this was the first game that ever made me angry.

>>11215538
Kid culture of the late 80s and early 90s were obsessed with gross-out stuff. Make things as ugly and disgusting and slapstick as possible.

>>11215538
>the noid
>unappealing

>>11215451
i loved yo noid on nes as a kid

>>11215451
i had this game, but was too smoothbrained to consistently beat the pizza minigame

>>11222519
I beat the pizza minigame up until the final one and then I gave up because, as I mentioned, having my skin removed was more appealing than dealing with math minigames with the chiptune music on loop.

also the noid is an appealing mascot

>>11222519
The strategy isn't too complicated. It's more about finding cards in the platform stages. Sometimes they're just floating there and sometimes they're invisible and you reveal them by launching your yoyo at them. You always start out with a much worse deck than the opponent, but the special cards give you multipliers or cards that prevent the opponent from earning points during a turn. Just having the opponent run out of cards without them filling their slots or filling your own slots is enough. But if you fill your slots without letting the opponent score a single point you earn a continue. Once you have the hang of it, that's what you're always aiming for and it feels more like a bonus game than a boss fight.

This is the worst game ever made, period.

>>11222628
I played the PSX version of this. It was ok

>>11222519
>>11222537
You need to find bonus power ups in levels to be able to consistently beat the pizza bosses.

Which means you need to spend your entire time hitting air with your yoyo to make them appear.

>>11215451
Hellboy for the PS1, hands down. I've played some really atrocious games —especially from the 5th generation— but that game stood out to me even to this day. The reason why I mention it over some other dumpster fire from that era like Spawn or The Simpsons Wrestling is because it came out at the very end of the PS1's life, like 2-3 years after the PS2 was already out, and it's still that fucking bad.

>>11215647
That makes Macross for the Famicom look like a bona fide classic.

>>11222926
Peak fucking game design.

>>11223070
I love the concept of simpsons wrestling but not the game. You pick flanders and just smite your enemies infinitely to death.

>>11215451
Rugrats: treasure hunt

Imagine mario party without 10x more RNG and none of the fun minigames.

>>11222628
>rugrats in paris- the movie
>it's a game

>>11223801
What made it bad? I thought it was on the same engine as Rugrats: Search For Reptar

WHERE'S MY REPTAR PUZZLE?!?

>>11222628
I only ever saw the first film as a kid. Sadly I'm too old for the other ones to possibly be funny or interesting to me now

>>11215464
I xried once when the rental place didnt have this available.

>>11215545
Armorines was a valiant comic, acclaim bought valiant comics for an ip farm.

>>11215631
Actually he killed himself in jail
Captcha Is HAA2 which makes me think it's going ha ha to a crazy guy that killed himself over a pizza mascot

I'd say Yonoid is a top 15 nes game.

>>11215451
Noid > Spot.

Fuck you Spot.

>>11222628
It’s really not that bad, one of like a dozen standard, slow-jumping Software Creations/THQ platformers. The biggest issue is the timer, which has no consideration to how fucking sluggish you move.