/vr/ - Retro Games

Master System covers are inevitable.

>>1006024
I've never played Alien Crush, and I bet its completely unrelated to the cover, but you're a fool if you think that is "terrible" boxart.

>>1006036
Nah, I like it a lot, but it's certainly silly.

It's just clip art of a foot.
Poor Kenshiro.

With a handful of pretty cool exceptions (Keith Courage and Splatterhouse, for example), almost every US release on TurboGrafx-16 had an unfairly craptastic cover hurting its sales.

I always hated the first cover of resident evil. The stupid face of who I assume is Chris with the weird eye. The plastered on ghost spiders added with no elegance. Its an ugly mess of a cover and at first glance I would assume it was a low budget launch title and never give it a chance.

>>1006024
that game is awesome and I want that airbrushed on the side of a van

>>1006028

>>1006079

oh god Secret of the Stars was such garbage

>>1006079
>a fantasy
Appropriate phrasing considering how creepy those childrens' faces look.

>>1006042

One of the few games I'm grateful for the PAL version.

Not only because of the box art but the music actually sounds better with the PAL slowdown.

>>1006036
Well its in the background in the game, so it's fairly accurate.

Hey guys, what's going o-

>>1006036
additionally he should have just picked Devil's Crush, that boxart is grade-A TG16 terrible. Awesome series of games, though, probably the best 2D pinball series ever.

There's even a mostly forgotten SNES entry (Jaki Crush) that's also fantastic.

Yup.

>>1006241
Tracy Scoogins?

>>1006374
that's actually the mexican cover. looks like it was designed for Mr. Do! and accidentally put on the wrong game.

>>1006232
This is awesome

>>1006374

>>1006374
wat

>>1006079
This game was bad. So, so bad.

>>1006071
Also gotta love the batshit nonsensical weapon he's holding that looks like nothing in the game.

>>1006374

Nightmares.

>>1006071
Ernest Scared Stupid right there.

>>1006324
Why does it look like that anyway? Is there a story? What's the game about?

>>1007002
They wanted it to look odd and unique so people would get interested, due it just being an ordinary shoot 'em up game.

Can't believe no one's posted this yet

>>1006028
>dat cat

>>1006970
smug_titty_kong.jpg

Tommy's poorly cropped and photoshopped face staring out of the game aisle will always haunt me.

>>1007081
Why is Bill Clinton on a Genesis game

>>1007081

>>1007002

>>1006986

So shiny

>>1007023
>>1007345
Huh. I like the cover tho.
I wonder if that fellow had any idea what he was posing for.

>>1006057
True dat. Finding good covers on the TG16 is actually impossible.

>>1006027

Master System covers now have a stylistic elegance about them though, like they were designed by Apple or something.

>>1007086

jesus fucking christ

>>1006079
How did they go from a masterpiece like Radia Senki to this crap? Good God...

>>1007023
Wasn't it because they took pity on the poor old man? He was doing a santa claus photo shooting when they found him.

Who knows, might be for both reasons.

>>1006071
At least they caught on and the US Dualshock/greatest hits and Satrun release used the Bio hazard cover.

>>1007446
Damn, this cover rules.

>>1006324
This is a terrible/silly boxart thread, not best

>>1007086
That's completely accurate though

>>1006374

>>1007495
Holy shit

>>1007495
>>1007497

Dayum. I mean, DAYUM. Mario been lifting, son.

>>1007081
Probably the strangest game I own. Someone bought it for me as a present when it was still new. I have no idea WHO because it was a Christmas gift with no name on it. I assumed it might have been one of my brothers, but they know I never buy myself sports titles. No idea why I still have it, but I could never bear myself to part with it even though I don't still own anything else from my childhood collection. I even still have the box and manual for it.

>>1007008
But that's fucking awesome cover.

>>1007584

Ah, good old semi-competent polygonal graphics.

>>1007592
I remember when I bought Asghan about 13 years ago and how I was disappointed that my family computer couldn't run it. Years later I tried it on my new computer and the game was pretty awful.

I still have the game on my shelf, complete in a box.

>>1007392
Mommy, why is that man wearing girl's armor? And what's wrong with his arm?

>>1007392
Hey it's Richard Grieco!

I love the Sega Card games that shows a hand holding it

So bad it's good?

>>1008139
Definitely.

>>1008096
sig heil you crazy gundam

>>1008170
Broski, that's not terrible, that's awesome.

>>1006079

I have this fucking game. I think I read that it was developed for NES but released for SNES. Would explain why the graphics look 8-bit and the x,y,l, and r buttons are never used for anything.

>>1006324
I actually love this box art. I own the game too.

>>1007002
Unfortunately, it's just an R-Type ripoff.

>>1008175
Nothing says "Hockey" like Parliament Funkadelic.

Every time I see it I think of that retarded "what happens if a sun of lava hits a sun of ice?" picture.

>>1007576
creepy story, bro

>>1006951
>Central High Art Club present MK

>>1007392
Cannot be worse than all of this Americanized box artwork for Jrpg's and Anime themed games.

>>1009106
forgot picture.
The worst part is that the cover art basically lies to you. They claim they americanized a lot of cover art because of a low interest in anime and JRPG's in the US during the 90's.

So you slap a conan the barbarian style picture on the front and they buy it, only to find out that they have been duped into buying a game with slim femenine lookinganime guys totally unlike what they are portrayed as on the box.

I personally liked those sort of games so if I was searching for them, it was hard to tell what was a JRPG and what was a western rpg.

>>1008175
>pk subban and wayne simmonds.jpg

>>1006071
I always think of Ken Shamrock when i see that cover

>>1008112

God damn I loved rival turf.

>>1008139
I knew what it was before reading the name, and it is the first time I ever see it.

>>1006265
>dat carrot

>>1007446
>dat muscular Blaze

>>1007495
Best DK cover

Alisia Dragoon - judge for yourself.

>>1011074
I personally like the PAL cover better but the American cover really has it going on, one real ripped bitch shooting lightning out of her fingertips and a dragon behind her breathing fire. Thats what would have gotten me to purchase the game as a kid. But it is a bit misleading. It is an anime themed game and to slap high fantasy artwork on the front to appeal to American gamers which at the time apparently weren't too keen on Anime....

remember me?

>>1011074

I held a ritual in my back yard when I burned this game. I wanted to rid its horribleness from the world.

It was the game I picked when your parents out of the blue would offer to buy you a new game before Christmas or birthdays.

Played it for a day. Put it back in the box and set it in flames. Picked out a crappy game, then got grounded for 2 months and a year of no games as gifts for doing it.

Was sooo worth it.

>>1008156
I remember playing that over my friend's place. Just a top down basketball game. Funny thing is you can't actually dunk in the game you still just throw the ball in the basket no matter how close you are.
>>1011754
To people new to RPGs (if you never owned a pc in the mid 80's) then yes that was very misleading. But if you played 80's RPGs then that cover works amazingly well.

>>1011832

>>1011074
Was the Pal cover drawn by Shirow? If it wasn't him it was someone heavily influenced.

>>1011895
It was he. Also check out Lords of Thunder. Oh, here ya go.

>>1006986

>>1011904
>Squirrel pixie things with tails (!)
/tg/ approves.

>>1011074
Both are good. I don't see what this is doing here

>>1007446

dat middle-age-crisis Axel

>>1012094
If you see this boxed for the amiga.. it's worth an awful lot of money.

>>1012089
There's something unsettling about that cover.

It's obviously a PacMan clone but look at his sad but determined expression as he swallows those long metallic rods.
The ghost (far from menacing, possibly a friend) looks on with a disappointed countenance. His buddy the red ball is a slave to the silver crack rods of doom.
He could have saved him, but now red ball is on the inevitable and descending path to his own demise. You can even see the suicidal intent in his eyes.

Killer Kong box art makes good reaction image

Palace's Barbarian...

>>1006374
is that literally jumpman

>>1012234
I have the poster!!!!!
Maria Whittaker mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

>>1007495
good thing it's not based on the fake arcade game

>>1012230

>>1012293

10/10

>>1012234
This thread is about BAD art, not awesome art you complete idiot.

>>1006241

>"Um, eddy, I don't think that's very..."

>>1012293
>>1012230
Was funny 2 months ago

>>1006027
SMS game had notorious bad covers.
I don't mint the clip art and all that but damn it looks so terrible.
At least they had plastic boxes, unlkike those fucking cardboard boxes from Nintendo.

>>1010720
Cannot unsee.

>>1011759
honestly, i think that game was fucked during programming. i really believe the can was supposed to deal damage, they just forgot to program the hit detection.

>>1012491
cane*

>>1012491
Didnt it kill the flies? Either they forgot to add hit detection for other enemies, or they actually thought having a button dedicated to swatting flies is a good idea.

>>1011762
Quan_Chi_has_allergic_reaction_to_spider_bite.jpg

>>1007008
>Nazis are wearing 1950s American uniforms
>with 1950-80s East German helmets
>and 1960s American rifles

>>1006232
Bruce Lee Megaman's pretty cool. But I'm more partial to chrome Megaman.

>>1007048
I think I like that more than the actual game.

>>1007446
>wonder what's so bad about this
>take a closer look at Axel
Oh god.

>>1011916

>>1007048
was gonna post this

Vic Tokai had ridiculous box art

>>1011759
>seems to have an above-average comprehension of the English language
>uses it to tell edgy video game story that never happened

mfw

>>1012293
le naughty primate face

>>1007446

>>1012957
I guess it's one of those ironic nicknames, like calling a big guy "Tiny".

Bad cat is bad

>>1011074

The one on the left is alright but the "MAGIC, DRAGONS, MEDIEVAL SHIT" thing is so cliche. I can't count the number of games that have adhered to that stupid fucking theme without adding anything interesting to make it stand out.

hehe

>>1012984

>That egg/human abomination on the cover

>>1012957
The artist must have had no idea how guns work. Or maybe that's actually some sort of futuristic telescope and he's about to go watch the HELL out of the stars.

>>1007446
why'd they put roo on the cover instead of skate if roo has to be unlocked and skate doesn't?

>TOKI™'S HERE WITH BALLS TO THE WALLS ASS BUSTING APE ACTION AT A FULL SIXTY MEGA-HERTZ! THAT'S RIGHT, THIS GAME'S SO FAST IT HURTS! GO APE SPIT© IN OVER 20 DIFFERENT REAL LIFE APE SCENARIOS! POWER UP AND GO BANANAS WITH THE RIGHTEOUS POWER BALLS™ AND SPIT MORE SHIT®!! (ooh ooh ah ah!!)
>AND REMEMBER, SEGA© DOES WHAT NINTENDON'T
all ports of this game got ridiculous cover art aside from maybe the famicom version

>>1013616
This is pretty much what the game looks like, though. I will admit that the game has a slightly more cartoony look, but not by much.

>>1013616
There is just no way for anybody to walk into a store, see this boxart, and say ," I understand what the game is about." Even though the boxart is as accurate as you could get

>>1013616
that looks fucking awesome

well i guess i'll dump the arcade version now (no silly fake game ad included)

>>1014501
now the NES.. argueably the least interesting

>>1014501
I love this one, myself. It's like the cover to an awesome comic.

and to finish the amiga version for comparison.. i gotta admit, a couple of ports got good covers genesis is best one
>>1014505
lol i just noticed the heart above Dr. Stuart(?)'s head and how he's looking at dat jungle booty.. well played, Taito..

>>1012957

Mel Gibson in.. The Warriors
>>1014532
lel

>>1014513
I don't think any of those Toki covers qualify as awful.
Ironic that the Sega one looks the best when the game itself is the worst fucking port of the lot.

>>1014550
And how is that a bad cover?

>>1014579
this thread is for terrible/SILLY art. i never said they were bad, just kinda strange

>>1014597
oops replied to the wrong post.. i meant-
>>1014575

>>1014579
now for YOU, look at those stale poses, how do you kick someone like that, let alone on rollerskates? and is that street thug tryna pole vault blaze's leg? nigga pls

>>1014550
>>1014618
Yeah, I've probably spent too much time on /co/ but that cover makes me dizzy. Though the art itself ain't bad there's no line of motion to any of it. It looks more like they're floating around in fighty poses than actually hitting anybody. No sense of impact at all.

>>1012957
This looks like a 4th grade art project.

>>1014672
yeah that's what i meant by it. if they turned chain thug around to face blaze, raised blaze to look like she's actually in the air, and make skate's body face background thug a bit more it'd look pretty sweet

>>1014672
>>1014705
not to get all off topic and all, but I mean it'd be better if it were posed more like this… (pic spoiler'd for irrelevance)
if its any consoloation to the thread this looks terrible so bless you

>>1014909
>Dr. Heiachi
10/10

>>1014909
looks cool to me

gene simmons would be proud
caption: attached lickgsb

>>1012847
Mickey Rourke as Axel in the upcoming Streets of Rage full motion picture

>>1014961
captcha* damn i goofed

>>1014909
Your spelling needs a little work. 6/10 is the best that I can give you.

>>1007023
IIRC, it was someone at KEMCO or NOA's dad/grandfather who was dying soon, so they put him on the cover so people would never forget him.

Something like that. It was still the "Our game's sort of boring so lets put the most rediculous picture ever on it to trick people into buying it", though.

>>1007392
I never fucking understood american's putting the ugliest, most angular women they could find on the box art for JRPGs.

They're trying to go with sexy, but THAT'S NOT FUCKING SEXY.

I blame this bitch with her ugly feet for starting the Ugly White Women on Video Game Posters/Cover

>>1015056
dat photoshopped foot

>>1008165
That cover is not bad. it's bad ass!!!

>>1012984

>>1014501
JACK KIRBY PRESENTS
TOKI: LAST APE ON EARTH

>>1015073
You made my gnarly monster fall...now you will pay when he gets tall!!!

>>1014961
That artwork is oretty bad from the upside down triangle shaped head to strange fingers and tounge that looks like it isn't even attached to her face.

How could you have draw someone this poorly and still accept that as covert art. How could someone draw this poorly in general, it isn;t that hard to find someone who can draw a decent face and fingers.

Greatest platform game of all time!?

>>1015107

beep

>>1015107
The full quote was probably "Why are they ripping off the greatest platform game of all time?"

Alternatively:

"The greatest platform game of all time? No."

>>1008146
>not ZIEG ZEON

>>1014909
>Dr. Heihachi

>>1008139
Speaking hilariously ridiculous games...

>>1008170
Why is everyone posting actual amazing box art? I feel like only a few of these are even bad. Someone posted cho aniki... Kinda missing the entire point on that one, guy.

God I miss when real artists did covers.

Sure it was never anything like the game but it was fucking awesome.

>>1022959
OP said
>Terrible/silly
I'd file awesomely bizarre under silly.

>>1008112
Straight outta West Side Story we gangsta as heck

>>1020708
THAT LOOKS AWESOME

>this hasn't been posted yet

dun goofed /vr/

>>1008170
That cover is so fucking 90's.
>>1011074
This reminds me of a comparison pic where every US release had tough people with BLOOD.

>>1011728
>PAL

>>1011895
>Pal

lal

>>1018336
It was better than SMB

>>1023595
Here's a screen shot. Most of the art budget went into the box.

>>1023604
Japanese Mega CD games had the best boxart ever.

This is Fabio right?

>>1024991
Yes. Yes it is.

>>1024928
>>1020708

So most of the budget went into cutting out and pasting an old pulp SF mag cover? I bet the original artist had already passed away when the game was released...

>>1024991

>>1012670
>above-average comprehension of the English language
>'horribleness'