/vr/ - Retro Games

OK, Wind Waker. I get a lot of requests for this one. Back when it was revealed, if you can believe this, everyone hated the graphics. The graphics are actually pretty cool, it's like you're playing a cartoon. But GODDAMN, if it's a cartoon it's like one played in slow motion! Link moves so SLOW on those stubby little legs of his... like a doped up snail covered in molasses. Getting in your boat is no better. If you're not going in the direction of the wind, you aren't going anywhere. So what do you do? Well first you open the menu... equip the rod... then you gotta hold the direction of the wind song, not time it like you'd THINK you have to do, then the game plays the exact same song you just played. THEN you can change direction, and watch Link confused at the sky every time. FUCK. Is all the song and dance really necessary?! It's an actual song and dance! And don't think you can avoid this, you'll need it to find the triforce pieces which are scattered all over the world... though good luck finding them, since it's all the same MS paint blue!

And even if you KNOW where they are, guess what? You can't see them unless you pay this fat little dwarf guy 400 bucks to tell you where they are. 400 bucks! And there's 8 pieces! This is worse than that guy who sold me those old Atari games! Now there's nothing wrong with triforce pieces, in the Legend of Zelda you had to find 8 of them too. But they were in dungeons, full of monsters and dead ends and this weird grumble grumble guy. Not a little kid's scavenger hunt! What were they THINKING!?

Wind Waker? More like SHIT TAKER! The wind isn't the only thing that blows! I'd rather get buried under Dodongo dung! I'd rather get manhandled by Manhandla! I'd rather dig my own grave with Digdogger!

OK, Wind Waker. I get a lot of requests for this one. Back when it was revealed, if you can believe this, everyone hated the graphics. The graphics are actually pretty cool, it's like you're playing a cartoon. But GODDAMN, if it's a cartoon it's like one played in slow motion! Link moves so SLOW on those stubby little legs of his... like a doped up snail covered in molasses. Getting in your boat is no better. If you're not going in the direction of the wind, you aren't going anywhere. So what do you do? Well first you open the menu... equip the rod... then you gotta hold the direction of the wind song, not time it like you'd THINK you have to do, then the game plays the exact same song you just played. THEN you can change direction, and watch Link confused at the sky every time. FUCK. Is all the song and dance really necessary?! It's an actual song and dance! And don't think you can avoid this, you'll need it to find the triforce pieces which are scattered all over the world... though good luck finding them, since it's all the same MS paint blue!

And even if you KNOW where they are, guess what? You can't see them unless you pay this fat little dwarf guy 400 bucks to tell you where they are. 400 bucks! And there's 8 pieces! This is worse than that guy who sold me those old Atari games! Now there's nothing wrong with triforce pieces, in the Legend of Zelda you had to find 8 of them too. But they were in dungeons, full of monsters and dead ends and this weird grumble grumble guy. Not a little kid's scavenger hunt! What were they THINKING!?

Wind Waker? More like SHIT TAKER! The wind isn't the only thing that blows! I'd rather get buried under Dodongo dung! I'd rather get manhandled by Manhandla! I'd rather dig my own grave with Digdogger!