/vr/ - Retro Games

>>2303226

I'm gonna need you to drink some gasoline, stat.
...No, don't fucking type up another witty retort, motherfucker. Go drink that shit NOW, you snarky little wretch.

No.

>>2288561

>"get real"
>now apparently a synonym for "get retarded"

Stay mad wage slave. :)

Ya know Sector 6 in Star Fox64? Well, when I was about 12 years old I managed to get there. Had never before managed to pull off this amazing feat. But, I guess that one playthrough of Macbeth the Force was with me, and I flipped every one of those shitty little rail-locks and sent that baboon-ass motherfucker driving the train careening straight into his own supply depo at max speed.

And in Sector 6, though I tried and I tried to save that Great Fox from going into that missile-filled night, I eventually ran out of lives and was told to "git gud" by Papa Nintendo. Keep in mind, Star Fox 64 had NO SAVE FEATURE. None. Not even with a Controller Pak (N64 equivalent of a PS1 Memory Card, only it got shoved up your controller's asshole instead).

The almost stroke-inducing rage that followed is best summed up by what I did next: I got a pair of the biggest goddamn toenail clippers I could find, yanked that motherfucker out of the N64 control deck with the white-hot fury of a 100,000 nova suns, and proceeded to mutilate that bad boy's data-pins until they were nothing but PCB splinters all down the line. Then I exiled the rebellious cartridge behind my dresser and never spoke of or thought about it again until I was 17 and found it moving some furniture.

And that, Anons, is how I found out I could channel the vengeful spirit of videogame Stalin.