/vr/ - Retro Games

Anomen: 'Tis truly an adventure for the weak-willed. I've fought campaigns against the Hillgnasher giants, and slew twenty of the foul beasts.

Jan: Did I ever tell you the tale of the Lobotomized Orc, my good knight Anomen?

A: You have not and I've no wish to hear it.

J: Well anyway, as a child my mammy would give us kids a bowl of gravel, which was all we could afford, and tell us this parable. Now listen, knighty, lest you be eating gravel. Twas once a heavily brained damaged Orc named Ano. Ano was trudging though the forest one day, looking for bull droppings with which he could stuff his mattress, when he happened across a remarkable scene. A brave and noble knight, Jen the Brilliant by name, fought with an evil giant. Ano watched as Jan slew the giant. Then the knight had ridden off to save several small children from a wicked witch, also known as a nobleman, who was attempting to poison the poor dears. Regardless, Ano promptly cut the head off of the fallen giant and ran home to his home in the Dung Orc village and claimed that he had killed the monster.

A: I warn you, gnome. Cease your prattling immediately!

J: Did I tell you that Ano had a nasty habit of interrupting folk? Anyway, the giant's brother heard of his siblings demise and the subsequent display of his head in Dung Town. He caught up to Ano, who was stupidly stuffing his mattress with bull dung, and returned to his cave with the orc stuffed through his belt. As punishment for his brother's supposed murderer, he tied a porcupine with the orcs head and proceeded to clean his latrine with the makeshift orc brush. Much to the giant's dismay, Ano actually enjoyed it. Fascinating tale, that! I love to tell it!

A: I'll suffer no insults from you, runtish one!

J: Calm yourself. There was no insult to you. It was merely a parable told to me by my dear departed mother.

A: I shall not forget this, gnome! Your blood shall stain my blade, yet!

J: Whenever you wish to try it, Ano.