/vr/ - Retro Games

>>1891548

All right niggers sit down for a fucking minute and let me tell you about the legendary "horsefucker sword", also known as the macuahuitl.

"the macarena?" I hear you little shits snorting to yourself like you think you're fucking clever WELL SIT THE FUCK DOWN, YOU'RE NOT
The macuahuitl is basically the real life equivalent of Cloud's Buster Sword, because it's fucking huge and two-handed and cleaves through goddamn everything. Like you know how in anime there's always these swords that are stupidly fucking sharp and go through steel like butter but you try that to a real sword and it's like DAAAAAAMN PAPPY'S GOTTA NEW COAT HANGER?
FUCK THAT SHIT, the macuahuitl is made with fucking STONE AGE technology and still manages to be sharper.

YOU SEE THESE FUCKING SPIKES AT THE END? THAT'S OBSIDIAN. One of the nastiest fucking natural minerals on earth, and it's also reknowned for being REALLY GODDAMN SHARP when you sharpen it into blades? How sharp? REALLY GODDAMN SHARP
SHARPER THAN STEEL SHARP
I shit you fucking not, sharpened obsidian cuts you like a fucking lava sword tempered with powdered glass and then glued a million bullet ants hopped up on caffeine ready to eat the fuck out of anything
You know how most IRL swords have trouble even going through bone? Well this fucking thing can go straight through a horse no goddamn issue. There's a reason it's called the HORSEFUCKING SWORD

Okay so I'm the only person who calls it the horsefucking sword but FUCK YOU it was used to kill horses and it still makes those whiny /mlp/ betas cross their legs, giving their shriveled dicks the only source of pressure they've had since they last installed an onahole in their plushie

It has absolutely no goddamn problem going through a human, and in fact can go through several in a row without even pausing to take a breath or blow its nose. It gives no fucks and it cares for nothing except seeing bodies split apart, and needs to be in doom fucking YESTERDAY