/vr/ - Retro Games

>cartridge game stops booting
>OI YOU GOTTA DOUSE THE OUSE IN PETROL AND SET LIGHT TO IT
>BREAK OUT THAT BRASSO AND WEAR THE CONTACTS DOWN TO THE COPPER, IT'LL ENSURE THERE'S NO INTERRUPTION BETWEEN THE PINS AS THEY SCRAPE THE GOLD TEETH OF THE CONSOLE
>PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND BRANDISH YOUR PINK ERASER, VIOLENTLY VIOLATE THE CARTRIDGE CONTACTS
>GIVE IT A LICK AND BLOW, IT'S GUARANTEED TO WORK
>USE MUMS NAIL POLISH REMOVER, TAKE A SWIG AND SPIT IT INSIDE THE CONSOLE
>BUY ME GAME CARDS TO CLEAN EM, WORKS LIKE NEW EVERY TIME

>disc game stops booting
>YOU GOT THAT DISC ROT
>YOU GOT THAT DEAD LASER YOU NEED TO FIND A SPECIFIC JVC CD PLAYER FROM 1988 AND SALVAGE IT
>JUST BUY A NEW ONE
>ADJUST THE POTS WAY OUT OF SPEC AND OVERDRIVE THE LASER UNTIL IT ETCHES CRUDE PENIS PATTERNS IN THE DATA LAYER OF THE DISK
>n-no d-don't use a q-tip and a bit of alcohol and roll it on the lens....it's never just a little dusty don't do that...