/vr/ - Retro Games

>>6513314
I grew up in a fucked up, rapey / abusive household and it gave me all kind of personality problems like BPD and schizoid personality disorder. I played Xenogears at random, I thought the mechs looked neat. For some reason it really resonated with me. When I was 30 and got all these stupid diagnosis, I tried to find some silver lining but mostly just found a bunch of suicidal people and abusive people. It turns out the second half of the creative team who wrote Xenogears also suffers from BPD. I replay Xenogears every few years and playing it now that I know more about myself and about the female writer who worked on it, I can see that the themes of abusive and abandonment in the game are the reasons it stands out as one of my favorite JRPGs of all time. Not my blog, etc, I just have a really close connection to it and when I play it, I can feel that self sabotage victim complex she suffers from, it took many years of therapy to peel that back.

Anyway, I love Xenogears. My favorite characters are Miang and Ramsus. I feel like he's a good example of how no one feels like they're the villain when they're passionate and his struggle for power to meet his ego's expectation was drop fed in really well. Citan was also a good character. The music box scene always gives me goose bumps, always sets up that 60 hours of gameplay. If I'm honest, the game is pretty pretentious and tries too hard to cover too many complex issues, but I still love it. I preordered the Xeno game on PS2 and 100% thought it was a sequel until I sat down to play it after waiting a year for it, I was so heart broken.