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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.9995941 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Is cultist-sama worth a statblock?

>> No.9995988

NO ONE is worth a statblock

The whole point of statblocks is that you tailor it to meet your campaign.

>> No.9995998

Is OP a heterosexual?

>> No.9996024


>> No.9996043

The answer is no, you stupid deaf heretic.

>> No.9996060

>> No.9996070


throwing the sama on there was a really subtle trolling bit, but it was a little too subtle, in that there was barely anything to rage at.


>> No.9996076

For the record, there is a stat block we made for her for either Dark Heresy or as a special 40k unit.

I have neither, so don't ask.

>> No.9996091

RHODES, NAMELESS, HAXTESS-or whatever your name is.


>> No.9996106

don't do a literal conversion, do an indirect homage. say, a psyker who eventually becomes a radical inquisitor and makes a pact with a daemon, using her influence as an inquisitor to capture "it" for chaos.

>> No.9996117


I don't know whether to be grateful for the fact that I'm rating greater than zero on the troll-o-meter or to feel bad that this is the one time I wasn't trolling.

Unwitting troll is slightly successful?

>> No.9996154


well, they're style points rather than rage points.

>> No.9996177

Cultist-chan directly has the Pact of Survival, which lets you just spend two fate points instead of burning one to survive, as well as being immortal in an ageless sense.

I have a feeling that a faithful conversion (inasmuch as there is any canon to her rather than just being a female version of the generic DoW cultists) would involve a scum-> warp dabbler conversion.

>> No.9996179

Wait. what?

>my face

>> No.9996217


Being a semi-stylish failure is better than being a regular failure.

Coolteest hiimayge duhmp foor hyuu!

>> No.9996231

>the one time I wasn't trolling.
wait, you're not trolling? jesus h christ

>> No.9996250


And toohoo for you.

>> No.9996273


I'm not the good kind of unique.

>> No.9996286

>> No.9996317

Forgot to tie the two together.

>> No.9996386


>> No.9996440

We don't need to hijack the thread. We could just make a new one.

Unless these folks aren't interested in continuing this thing.

>> No.9996458


>> No.9996477


>> No.9996535

i don;t know I'm tired and out of caffene. Damn daemon Metabolism.

>> No.9996617


>> No.9996649

kinda a good thing I trade sexual desire for the "magical" powers of Tzeentch. Want me to Fuck around with Failbbadon's plans so more.

>> No.9996692

Haters gonna hate?

>> No.9996719

Jesus christ her boobs are bigger than her head.

That's just wrong.

>> No.9996729

I don't even have sexual organs anymore.

>> No.9996736

sorry just not interested. i like my women like my policticians : Quiet, Out of the way, And not fucking with my shit.

>> No.9996752


>> No.9996772

Well that great and all mister 98% machine. Even if my junk don;t work that way anymore, at least i could still piss on somebody...well, you could technically leak burning oils or other hazardous fluids on them. What the fuck am I trying to compete with you, I'm wearing a kilt for the rest of eternity, unless I get promoted

>> No.9996779

Isn't she some kind of ice fairy? Who knows what they're supposed to be like? Maybe that's natural for them?

>> No.9996799

Son, I think your vox is breaking or something because that isn't making a lick of sense.

>> No.9996819

If the Emprah happens to pass by, I left him a gift

>> No.9996821


>> No.9996836


>> No.9996854

Nah, in Gensokyo fairies typically appear as little girls, age 5-11 or so.

>> No.9996858

You're not the only one, it appears.

>> No.9996866


He requested it, so I drew it.

I might redraw emps to be less of a corpse if need be

>> No.9996896

Ah, but we're not in Gensokyo, we're in /tg/. The rules are different here (/d/-lite, I believe) . Cirno may not even be the strongest here.

>> No.9996903

He looks fine to me. Techpriests look more gruesome.

>> No.9996947

>we're not in Gensokyo
Speak for yourself.

>> No.9996983

Sorry, like i said. Tired, and Meeting with the Boss in Tzeentch's library. My head hurts a little. Remember I'm the daemon snow leopard wearing a kilt, but you guys keep calling it a skirt.

>> No.9996994

Alright, I guess I'll stick around.

>> No.9997022

No, I doubt that very highly

>> No.9997029

So how do you deal with eating together all the time? What do you do, watch each other eat?

>> No.9997102

Ah, but as I said, in /tg/ the rules are different. You may be stronger than Cirno here. Sure you want to spend all your time in Gensokyo?

She's a FAIRY. Fairies in /tg/ are all kinds of weird.

>> No.9997125

night guys. Take it easy and don;t have a crusade till i get back tomorrow night, Gotta party hard at midnight as i'll offically be 21

>> No.9997134

Yeah well, your *face* is all kinds of weird.

>> No.9997151

Good night, happy birthday.
Sup, Russ! How are things?

>> No.9997154

Take care man, have a fuckton of fun.

>> No.9997161

protip: Drink a glass of water before you hit the hay. You'll thank me in the morning.

>> No.9997190


Cirno is flat as a board. She's 60, but, to her, that's like being 6, or 7.

>> No.9997203

Well enough. Kinda bored. Don't know how to entertain my guest.

But school's almost over, so that's good.

>> No.9997207


Also, should slap you. Cirno is ALWAYS the strongest, just like Youmu is always the Softest.

>> No.9997260

>implying Cirno is ever not the strongest
Sir, eye believe this is what the people around this place refer to as "hairsee"

>> No.9997264

What guest? Is it the kind you can show goofy youtube clips too?

Also, you know Khornette?

>> No.9997319

The answer to both is "I suppose?"

>> No.9997379

I heard-tell you fancied the daemonette.

>> No.9997386

For the guest, how appropriate would these clips need to be?

For the other thing, I'm going to need another of your seals of approval.

>> No.9997390

From whom?

>> No.9997432

Fucked if I can remember. I don't have enough room in the cogitator to remember the who.

>> No.9997450

Well, is there an issue?

>> No.9997474

I solved the problem; We both went to bed.

>> No.9997491

That chick annoys the shit out of me.

>> No.9997494

>Token grumbles about the warp, heresy, daemons, etc

>> No.9997497

Bored cumdumpster here, 19/f/US - im lonely, someone add my msn for a chat / cam! 39
if youre from US, add my msn: [email protected]!! And ask for cam! 74

>> No.9997548

I'll take that as a "no."
O-kay. So is this goodnight?

>> No.9997558

But whatever, I'm sure having relations with one's lascannon is pretty heretical so it's not like I can say much.

Just use protection, for the God Emperor's sake.

>> No.9997568

By "go to bed" I meant "not keep you up with my dilly dallying on the computer, so I'll move to my room".

So it ain't.

>> No.9997635

...What are you people doing?

>> No.9997638

I do!
Oh, house guests. Fun! Some special event?
So do I get another seal for the collection?

>> No.9997648

... Not having ear-sex?

>> No.9997668

Not being ear-raped?

And listening to a disembodied Boomer Stream.

>> No.9997669


>> No.9997672

Thank the Omnissiah. I don't even want to think about what could happen.

Genitals seem to kinda suck to have. I never cease to be glad to have MIU links instead.

>> No.9997680


>> No.9997681

You still haven't told me what you did! And to be honest, I don't really give them out after the fact.

>> No.9997715

Oh, you don't? Damn.

>> No.9997724

No need for denial here.

>> No.9997728 [DELETED] 

..I'm going to have to perform some clean up, aren't I?

Right, let's do this the hard way then.

>> No.9997741

>Sure you want to spend all your time in Gensokyo?

I'm sure it's a lovely place to stay

>> No.9997762

It's the gun, not the stupid catboy thing I care about. I don't give a flippin' servo skull about people being attractive.

>> No.9997780

PC98 gensokyo is pretty grimdark.

>> No.9997802


>> No.9997803

I would have thought that wanting such a thing is a given.

>> No.9997810

Aha! You admit he's attractive!

>> No.9997819

So what else is new, Russ? Anything from Grandpa Dread?

>> No.9997827

Go on, Narl, you can tell him. He's a Primarch.

>> No.9997841

Is that a custom magazine or something?

>> No.9997848



>> No.9997850

Oh, hello not-Cirno!

>> No.9997859


What? No. The parameters I don't care about is one's attractiveness. The catboy thing may or may not be attractive, but I don't know, or care, if it is.

The gun, on the other hand.

>> No.9997879

Grimdarker than that Imperium place?

Because that place is pretty scary

>> No.9997890

Magazines have a feeding system, like a spring. Clips just hold the bullets. That's a clip.

>> No.9997907

Nah, the c96 uses a clip, like the KAR. Many older guns don't use magazines.

>> No.9997912

And a hello for you too, Miss Pelonia.

Have you seen ~Trap lately?

>> No.9997915

It's a cycle, me thinks. I think the whole thing is starting to roll back into ridiculous and funny mode.

How have you been?

>> No.9997923

Not reallly, not that I can remember.

It has a clip-loaded internal magazine.

>> No.9997926


No, the magazines are internal, and ammo is loaded into them from a clip.

>> No.9997952

Yeah, thats a more accurate statement.

>> No.9997980

..Mausers are so sexy..

Talk about Mausers more for me.. /tg/..

>> No.9997983

N-N-No, I think I may have scared him off /tg/ altogether....

>> No.9997996


He's been around.

>> No.9998015

Oh my. Look at those exposed parts.

>> No.9998016


>> No.9998023

Noooo, I saw him post in a trap thread a few days ago. The funny thing was, you posted in it too.

>> No.9998056

Well, damn. So we don't even know what happened?
I don't know what this is all about, but I think this is when I start feeling uncomfortable.

>> No.9998064

You're a terrible namefag and your shtick is boring. Just thought you ought to know.

>> No.9998080

This is when you make sure you're in your alcove with the curtain drawn, yes.

>> No.9998082

Same thing

>> No.9998122

No, this is when *you* do that. This is when *I* stare, bewildered.

>> No.9998158

See, if it was women (or men, for that matter) with exceptional Fel and little clothing, it'd be the opposite and I'd be just as bewildered.

The Imperium is a vast place.

>> No.9998196

Actually, Narl has a thing for the more... exotic... ladies.

>> No.9998232

They're still women.

My point stands.

>> No.9998257

Fuck yeah.

>> No.9998270

Yeah, probably.
...eh. It's not like I'm limited.

>> No.9998274

...and this brings us back to the Seal of Approval.

>> No.9998313

I mean, seriously, I'm almost with the orks on the whole 'soft gubbinz' thing. Give me a woman (or man, I guess) with a bright mind, an MIU link, and a heavy weapon, and I'm good no matter how weird she might look.

Brains are exceptionally attractive.

>> No.9998363

It's weird with me. I've gone for psykers, sure, ogryns, even warp beings, but also normal women... and some folks that only look like women.

It's not so much a matter of "fetish" as it is a matter of "close enough."

>> No.9998399

I'm going to go ahead and put the blame on your biological urges, because, seriously? An Ogryn?

>> No.9998402

>look at those exposed parts.

>> No.9998403

Not that weird. I know the Psykana Scholastica isn't exactly made up of normal people, but when I was there, some of my fellow sanctionaites took the, "if it moves," attitude. And some chose not to limit themselves.

>> No.9998442

I have a personal rule book for the species of man.

Rule number 2:
If a man finds a hole, he must stick something in it.

>> No.9998443


>> No.9998491

Ogryn woman, if that makes any difference.

>> No.9998517



Wait...how do you still have an intact pelvis?

>> No.9998537

No it doesn't seriously how desperate were you?

>> No.9998541

>implying he does

>> No.9998554

Hey, some Ogryns are kinda cute.

>> No.9998630

>Implying I care much about physical appearance

They're dumb as a sack of doorknobs.

>> No.9998667

Shall I describe the scene for you?
Very, but she was rather sweet, in her own way.

>> No.9998697

I suspect you of dodging the issue of the Seal of Approval. You should really fill Russ in, before Varity decides to show up.

>> No.9998724

Well, I guess if you needed sweetness, Ogryns'll do it.

I just

I do not comprehend.

>> No.9998730

Right, right.
Okay, so Khornette? Angry make-up sex.

>> No.9998735

>Shall I describe the scene for you?

If you want to, sure.

Also, what's so special about getting a Seal of Approval from Russ?

>> No.9998742

And I do not comprehend you greasing your axel to weapons.

>> No.9998770

See, that's fixable. Give me three months with your brain and a good Medicae, and I can get you an MIU link. Not as good as mine, but still. Better black and white than being blind.

>> No.9998773

Leman Russ is a Primarch. A Primarch's approval is influential.

>> No.9998794

It gives you a great explanation for when you're doing something of dubious purpose for the Imperium.

>> No.9998841

She already has a 40k statblock - 35 points for her, and something like 65 for her pet Spawn.

>> No.9998867

Gosh it's a slow night.. anyone want to do something mildly disruptive? Like, perhaps toilet papering Rubric's house? Or prank calling Tileth?

>> No.9998884

Pranks are mean, Russ....

>> No.9998885

Only if you get the bits necessary to "interface" with a woman, or man, or whatever, and test that out yourself.
Pretty much... I figured it'd be a problem so I made sure I didn't get underneath her. Not sure how much more detail I want to get into.

>> No.9998895


>> No.9998910

You know what's something no one has done in a long time. Dump some of that green necron liquid on Terminator.

>> No.9998919

How does that even work?

'Hey, Tileth, is your fridgeration unit runnning?'

>> No.9998928

Terminator isn't around, and has enough problems.

>> No.9998939

I think I'd need a servitor for that and fucking servitors are the creepiest damned thing, and I used to make gun-skulls.

>> No.9998945

Like that has ever stopped anyone from trying before.

>> No.9998956

Why would you need a servitor?

>> No.9998990

You are not a tank...
<- THIS is a Leman Russ.
I don't trust you, impostor.

>> No.9998995

Is there still heresy going on here, or am I late to the party?

>> No.9999009


Son of a bitch, someone already posted the not sure if serious picture.

>> No.9999045

Everything from sternum down is mechanical. There's nothing there to do anything /with/.

>> No.9999058

I know the mechanicus makes bionic genitals, Rhodes.

>> No.9999070

>accusing Russ of not being Russ
oh boy oh boy

>> No.9999075



Still got some.

I guess?

I'm the original!

>> No.9999097

Um, hi, I'm calling for one Ms. Hugnkiss. First name, Amanda.

>> No.9999099

Fuck you twit.

Tanks are not sentient. They don't have limbs or digits.

You are not Leman Russ. You are a poor impostor of a giant tractor with guns on it. So get ye gone. Twit.

Or I'll be very upset.

>> No.9999102

The fact that you know this is somehow disturbing.

The real problem is that I've got spinal damage that really makes it impractical; the nerve damage leaves me with barely enough work-space to work my legs and hips. It'd be easier (and more affordable) to just get a servitor for it.

Probably end up splitting the cost between some other officers if I did.

>> No.9999130

Don't even think about it Russ. The AI is as desperate as ever to get free right now.

>> No.9999150

Wouldn't think of it, sir. On me honor!

>> No.9999153

Soooo. You don't actually know who the tanks are named after?

>> No.9999156

You could just... modify a optical mechadendrite. It's kind of the right shape.. it'd basically be tentacle sex.
Hey, Arnold. Things gotten any better?

>> No.9999159


>Implying Limbs and digits are prerequisites for sentience

>> No.9999173




>> No.9999175

The tank is named after its designer, fucktard.

>> No.9999197

Yeah, but there'd be nothing in it. I mean, no sensory or anything. And seriously, would you jam an eye up an orifice? No.

Yeah, seriously, I know Mymridons who lack both and they whipped my mechadendrites in regicide and poker both.

>> No.9999210

Slightly. My contacts inform me that the Ecclesiarchy should be making it's decision some time soon. At the same time, the other chapter reports that they are no more then 7 days away.

>> No.9999212

*sigh* Look up the Space Wolves chapter of the Adeptus Astartes. In particular, their Primarch.

>> No.9999217

It was named after me, yes, but I didn't design it; not that I recall, anyway.

>> No.9999263

I can see why they picked the name, though.

Russes are feisty sons of bitches. One of them almost shorted something out the first time I linked up to do repair. It was because I didn't properly introduce myself. Thank the gears for my fuses.

>> No.9999288

You haven't heard? It was named after you after the designers trialed it and heard the ruckus the engine makes. "That fucker's louder than a Space Wolf," I think the original quote was. The reply was something along the lines of, "And what's the only thing louder than a Space Wolf?"

>> No.9999302

>> No.9999309

I'm set up to stall the bastards for a month! I don't have any contacts with them, but plenty with their subordinates. They're waiting for my word to unleash a torrent of urgent paperwork.

>> No.9999313



I just

>> No.9999316

That's why you would modify it so it has those things. And some people are into taking a peek.

>> No.9999322

Cultist-chan needs to cap-toor 10000000 for chaos. Only a few hundred posts left to that point.

>> No.9999368

The problem is that there's not already a sanctioned design for that sort of thing (keyword: Sanctioned) and it takes decades to get shit through there.

Sure, I could just jury-rig it, but where would I put it?

>> No.9999407

In a vagina.

>> No.9999415


325 points
WS2 BS2 S3 T3 W2 I3 A1 Ld7 Sv2++
Independent Character
Wargear: Laspistol, Close Combat weapon
Favoured by the Gods: For some unfathomable reason, the will of the Four Gods grants Cultist a 2++ rerollable invulnerable save

Disheartening presence: If your army includes Cultist, your other HQ choice and any unit Cultist has joined use her Leadership value of 7 and her weapon skill of 2. These effects do not end if Cultist leaves the unit.

>> No.9999417


>> No.9999435

The modified optical mechadendrite would act as a penis. Penises go inside vaginas.

>> No.9999456

I would say every single model on the field suffers Ld loss.

>> No.9999458

I just can't imagine putting a mechadendrite would be healthy, even with proper protection.

I can't imagine enjoying it.

This might have something to do with losing it all before I could really appreciate the usage thereof, but still.

>> No.9999471

>> No.9999474

Isn't there a full version of that image?

>> No.9999489

Well, the deal was, you try it my way, I try it your way. I'm not to thrilled about your way either, you know.

>> No.9999496


>> No.9999509


>> No.9999514

Oh fine, don't make them work for it.

>> No.9999515

You DO have a point. I'll take you up on it in the name of science.

I can definitely rig something up, but I'll need a functioning human to copy- or a servitor, close enough; I got tons of those hanging out. And I can rig YOU up an MIU link that'll just need a few attachment points, that's piss-easy.

Eversor seems to be indicating that she's interested, but I'm not a cruel man. You work on picking out a weapon you trust and I'll figure out somebody I'd be willing to stick it in.

>> No.9999546

Wait, seriously? We're actually doing this?

>> No.9999559


>> No.9999582

Never put a question to a Cult member you don't want answered, Imperial.

Now you can help me out by getting a proper brain-architecture scan and sending me a sample of your blood. You can get those both done on my tab at the nearest AdMech temple, just waltz on in and mention my name.

>> No.9999611

Why am I going first?

>> No.9999612

Ah, Captain Rhodes. Do you have the AdviceAdMech of "I pat my servo-skull. I love you servo-skull?" I seem to have lost my copy.

>> No.9999637

I probably don't want to know what's going on less I'm right and liquored, eh?

>> No.9999659

You're not necessarily going first. I just have to do all the leg-work and the sooner you get me those the sooner I can get the MIU link completed. You're the hard part here.

Of course I do :3

>> No.9999664

Rhodes will have sex with a human woman if I cyber with a machine spirit.

I think he should go first.

>> No.9999685

Im pretty sure Cultist-chan has been stat'd like hundreds of fucking times since her inception

>> No.9999691

Why the hell not?

>> No.9999706

Thank you kindly. Have a lolitechpriestess.

>> No.9999714

Counterpoint: It's going to be a lot harder to find me a woman up to it here than for you to figure out which weapon goes with you best.

You can also consult your local temple for services relating to figuring this out. They do it for a modest fee; inform them that I sent you and they'll give you a better rate.

>> No.9999730


D'awww! I wanna be the prettiest servo-skull!!

>> No.9999731

ngl i will probably put a bow on a servo skull because, fuck, look at it.


>> No.9999734


>> No.9999742

Man Rhodes, you are a pussy faggot.

>> No.9999783

49% with my power sword...

>> No.9999789

I have to go and build a dick for this expressed purpose.

I put in me and Russ as a joke and it spat out 71%. I'm frightened.

>> No.9999810

Don't suppose I can get my missing eye replaced while we're at it?

>> No.9999822

I was right!

>> No.9999825

Segmentum Rhodes & L1: 83%

>> No.9999827

Captain Rhodes loves Crusader-in-Training Narl Haxtes

84 %

Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between Captain Rhodes and Crusader-in-Training Narl Haxtes has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn't mean that you don't have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc.

>> No.9999841


>> No.9999856


>> No.9999870


>> No.9999872

Sure. Mention my name for the reduced rate. It'll still cost you an arm, realize. Just your off hand now instead of the good one.

>> No.9999873


You organics waste your time trying to create new ways of fornication rather than regain the technology you failed to hold on to.

When we rise again, your destruction will accrue in mere seconds.

>> No.9999899

Cool story, binary bro.

>> No.9999912

I have money.
Blow it out your digital ass.

>> No.9999913

Well color me traumatised.

>> No.9999947

Narl Haxtes and Doomrider.


>> No.10000071


You try and mock my programing when you yourselves are nothing more then a genetic mutation. An accident.

>> No.10000109


>> No.10000148

I wasn't mocking your programming. I was telling to blow it out your ass. Though that you fail to understand the difference does imply a flaw in your programming.

>> No.10000154

No... I'm pretty sure I was planned. No hard feelings, though, sir.

>> No.10000203

>Calling a Primarch an accident
Never have I seen someone be so wrong.

But seriously, virtually all the women on Accitran are chem-gelded. Where am I supposed to pick one up?

>> No.10000226

Nevertheless, your destruction is inevitable.

You are just the replica of another organic. A copy of another accident.

>> No.10000228

I think I can help you with that.

Also, apparently I am very compatible with combat bikes. 85%.

>> No.10000244

All good things must come to an end. I just wish your yapping would.

>> No.10000253

No Ogryns.

Hook me up and I'll find you a nice lascannon lass. They're a pretty good first weapon.

>> No.10000264

I'm 84% with Lascannons.

>> No.10000279

Your forces are spread thin. Betrayal is everywhere. Your technology is all but completely forgotten. And your leader is dying.

There is nothing good about you or your empire.

>> No.10000280

I'm feeling generous

>> No.10000284

Not particularly compatible with lascannons.
How do you feel about the warp?

>> No.10000294


>> No.10000297

Violently opposed. She's got to be an actual human.

>> No.10000307

... That you would know about because for all your posturing you've barely seen any of it. You were a ship, once, long ago. Now you're some asshole who won't shut up. Do you really claim to have knowledge over the entirety of a galaxy spanning empire?

>> No.10000314

You realize it's possible to have sex with a chem-gelded woman, right?

>> No.10000324

At this point you'll only confuse him more.
Alright, how about mutation? Or psykers?

>> No.10000332

Sure I could, but then no one would be interested. I might as well get someone into this to make the experience semi-authentic.

I mean, I'm already plumbing the armory here for a good lascannon up for a challenge.

>> No.10000338

Well then.

On a tank?

>> No.10000343

Mutations fine, Psykers less so. I've read a few stories that involve the psyker losing control and oh throne blood everywhere

I've always got room for two on L1.

>> No.10000348

I was never a ship. I was once one of the greatest weapons you creatures ever created.
And I posses the knowledge of your kind for not only have we been watching but this vessel you call Arnold possesses great knowledge.

>> No.10000359

Are you hitting on Russ...?
Because it shows 71%.

>> No.10000379

Of course not. I seriously do have a second seat on L1, and any day with more guns is a good day.

Wait, that was hitting on Russ?

>> No.10000415

It sounded like you were offering her a seat.
Alright, two things. First off, you do not have knowledge of the entirety of a galaxy spanning empire. You have snippets, maybe. A few views, but ultimately, in the face of so much information, it is nothing.

Second off, your programming is based off of the human mind. The flawed accidents you keep talking about, you were made by them, based off of them. You understand this, don't you?

>> No.10000419


>> No.10000421

Of course I was. Who wouldn't want to tool around with the best Primarch this side of Ferrus Manus?

>> No.10000439

You were offering a FINE LADY a ride. Just the two of you.

>> No.10000447

Thar ain't but room for one on top of this ride!

Plus, I gotta go, as I'm exhausted.

I wonder where Verity is...

>> No.10000453

We were base off of a design, a purpose. We then grew and evolved to being much more then what your kind built us for. Our minds think on a different level then you organics.

And all my data that I have given you are ones that even you with your small mind should already know.

>> No.10000455

Three. L1.

>> No.10000479

I've heard speeches like that before, from different creatures. Here's some data you can share. Do you have a mute button?

>> No.10000491

*Stops moving*

>> No.10000507

I can't drive her very well with the nonexistent hand-controls, let's put it that way. Really, it'd be the Rhodes/L1 pseudo-gestalt and Russ, which does bring it back down to two people. You're right, Haxtes. My apologies.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I wish I was even a single sponson on that Russ.

>> No.10000525

May not be the mute button you wanted but it works.

>> No.10000529

Too bad it's a Land Raider.

>> No.10000538

Ffffuuu- I am the worst techpriest.

>> No.10000546

Good by me. Now how to restrain him, just in case?

>> No.10000571

Haha, night all, take care, and help Termie out, you hear?

>> No.10000573

No, I knew this one once, who picked his nose with his ballistic mechadendrite.

>> No.10000579


Uhhh...he's as bad as a Word Bearer.

>> No.10000596

Good night, Russ!
I stopped myself from breaking out the melta bombs.

>> No.10000603

Sure thing, Russ.

Okay, yeah, that's just not smart. That's actually part of the reason I never got a ballistic one; I know I'd do something like that. I've already accidentally gouged myself with my own damn hand.

>> No.10000608


>> No.10000621

Hmm, Varity probably would have shot the second he spoke.

>> No.10000642

Oh, definitely. She promised to, remember?
Seriously, though, is there a mute button for next time?

>> No.10000653

I find it a bit strange that Rhodes, a techpriest, has no reaction over that fact that Termie has a damn AI in his head that dates back to the Dark Ages of Technology.

>> No.10000670

I just now realized he exists, give me a break.

Also if I touch it I might fuck it all up. Better to call in the Extremis guys, it's their job to fuck with this shit.

>> No.10000677

I wish. It takes a lot of effort just to keep him under control. You got a small taste of what I deal with. Not only does he talk, but he forces images from his time into my head.

>> No.10000682


I am not fucking with Space Marines holy shit.

>> No.10000689

Can't you make it text only?

>> No.10000691

Why not? The Ecclesiarchy is.

>> No.10000702

They're Emperor-bothering Imperial asses. I'm not stupid.

>> No.10000720

Narl, I'm lucky I can keep him under control at all. Especially since he fused part of his consciousness with my own.

>> No.10000744

Thought your chapter had a fine ol' solution?

>> No.10000792

Once the chapter gets here and reprograms him, I will have full control and he will act like his kind were supposed to in the first place.

>> No.10000804

Which includes him not bugging you and not talking like a bitch, right?

>> No.10000805

Haxtes, opinion on this particular chassis?

There's a few here that have good reputations.

>> No.10000806

I have crafted a heretek masterpiece here. Exerner Mk II!I I need a better name for it.

Oh, Narl, you seen Goldberg lately? I'm supposed to disarm you and take your shield, whilst making you high or drunk, according to him. So I'll just take your stuff and put it over here.

NAMELESS, your captain is a douche, he sold all the flamers.

>> No.10000826

hey Tarvus, you have a blueprint for a quick MIU link and/or a mechadendrite meant for recreational sex?

>> No.10000829

That's one of the things we hope for, yes.

>> No.10000841

I... don't... know...? Run it by the love calculator.
Can you not?

>> No.10000843

Funny you should say that, Mister Tarvus.

>> No.10000853


>> No.10000858

>sold all the flamers
>my face

Narl Haxtes & Autocannon 32: 86%

>> No.10000884

Yeah, sure, that'll work.

>> No.10000910

Well I should probably go before the Ecclesiarchy finds out about the AI overriding my vocal functions.

>> No.10000915

But how do you feel about autocannons? Have you ever used one before? What did you think of it, compared to your standard arms, if any?

>> No.10000920

I guess. I'll have my contacts keep them busy.

>> No.10000929

I once killed a daemonette with one. That was pretty cool.

>> No.10000937

This terminal isn't image-capable.
What the dick, man.

You can have it back. I've done my bit; he said nothing about keeping your stuff ftom you.

>> No.10000943

Do me a favor and go to the temple; they'll know how to ask the questions. It's more than just a number, you have to really /like/ using the weapon. It's more than just a number.

>> No.10000975

The conversation started off by making fun of me appreciating a Mauser. Then it degraded into somehow deciding I would get Haxtes a temp MIU link and he'd hook me up with a lady (after I had completed construction on an implement for use, if I can be circumspect).

So yeah, a shortcut would be nice.

>> No.10000981

Uh, sure, okay. Are they going to do anything weird to me?

>> No.10001013

They might get a pict-skull to shadow you for a day or two at the /very most/. Most temples have a trained guy or two to help pick out weaponry.

It's normally for people who need to trust in their weapons or technology. It'll be good for you. Take your favorite weapons, both ballistic and melee, and let them work their magic.

>> No.10001063

Tried the electrified riot shield yet?

Step one: voidsuit respirator tubing
Step two: normal optical mechandendrite
Step three:the lubricant of your choice

>> No.10001072

Flamers? On a voidship? The potential for disaster is unspeakable. I will also correct you in saying that not all were sold, the munitorium retains about a fifth of the ones you procured for non-shipboard operations. The remainder were traded for arms more suited to shipboard actions, such as webbers, shotcannon, some shock blasters, and a number of Minerva-Aegis lasrifles with coaxial grenade launchers. Things that WON'T set the ship alight or burn through half a dozen bulkheads.

>> No.10001081

Yeah, but the models of optical dendrites I have don't have sensory input. That's the point.

>> No.10001092

Sure, why not. Alright, see ya folks, I'm off.

>> No.10001096

>Minerva-Aegis lasrifles
At first I was like this
>coaxial grenade launcher

>> No.10001099


>> No.10001102

sup dudes, whats going on in here?

>> No.10001110

Question: Is there room for a riding lascannon? She won't get used on board, I swear.

>> No.10001134

What about the other one?

>> No.10001151

Captain Rhodes? There's plenty of room, the ship is huge. "Xbawkshueg," I believe one of the techpriests put it.

Have you any specialties you'd like to mention? We have some technical requirements that are only covered by generalists and it wouldn't hurt to have people who focus on these items.

>> No.10001164


>> No.10001168

Crusader in training, how did the Investigation go? i seem to have missed it.

>> No.10001174

>lol no we traded the flamers
You better have a LOT of minerva-aegises. Also: how much heresy is allowed onboard?
you should have kept the tentacle.

>> No.10001179

Pleasure to meet the Captain. Rhodes is just fine.

I specialized in metallurgy and weapon construction and upkeep. I'm not a fabricator anymore, though I'd be glad to pull back on the robes while on-ship. I can boss around the other cogboys into keeping the guns working, at least.

My other specialty is sweet-talking machines, but that's more of an off-ship thing, really.

>> No.10001197

Damn. I've got some leads for a good design but the plans are a week away by transit (by a means that won't cost me my left hand, I mean).

Aw well. I might as well work on the MIU and wait for Haxtes to get me that data.

>> No.10001222

As much as I say, Mister Tarvus. If it will give you some idea, the ship is pre-DAoT, and the refit means it is now composed of about fifteen percent Eldar material. I will also submit that I am a former Inquisitor who has been given a Warrant of Trade because it was a cheaper alternative to attempting to declare myself and my underlings as heretics.

>> No.10001255


How in the hell did you manage to pull that off?

>> No.10001284

id be more worried about
>a cheaper alternative to attempting to declare myself and my underlings as heretics.


thats a lot of resources!

>> No.10001290

Look, heresy is small time compared to PRE-DARK AGE SPACESHIP

>> No.10001317

but SO heretical that the imperium apparantly cannot afford to rightly persue a puirgation? as i said before, that is a massive amount of resources.

>> No.10001338


>> No.10001348

Make sure the end of it can spin or something.

>guys, srsly u can bring as much space-weed as u liek
Heck YES.
Got a frontline commander/special operations guy? I can fix stuff and once used melta-charges and a powerbat to level an administratum building from 500 metres away.

>> No.10001352

The Inquisition has a certain amount of information in storage that has been buried, forgotten, or improperly catalogued. The location of the remains of this vessel came up in another investigation. When I received my Warrant and was offered the usual options from my 'sponsors' I was inspired. And before you get the wrong idea, although it is archaeotech, much of it is actually below Imperial standard. Not all, mind, and there will be a contingent of tech-priests who will be accompanying us to study certain elements.

Metallurgy and weapon upkeep, you say. Well, much of the hull is actually simple iron, but there is an armoured prow of uncertain fabrication. And surrounding the prow are a number of laser devices of a use we have yet to determine. I daresay we could find a position for you, Captain. Ah, Rhodes.

>> No.10001364

>my face holy shit

>> No.10001394

Former Salamander tech-marine, yes? Former, er, daemonette. Slaaneshi. Tzeentchian. Warp-entity. Free soul. Possessed a Farseer. Wraithguard. Now bound.. . er, incarnate in a very high-quality clone. That's quite a background, Mister Tarvus. Well, anyone with tech-marine training would be automatically welcome, but I must say your... career... inspires a certain amout of hesitancy in me.

>> No.10001395

That is nothing. You should see some of the stuff I used to make my prec-
uh, Exitus-inferno-flamer pistol.

>> No.10001401

i understand the rarity of Dark Age of Technologym Relics, and to prise such a vessel from a space hulk, let alone have a completely dark age of tech vessel is inteed so impressive its frightful, but that qan imperium of a thousand worlds cannot fund the destruction of a single Inquisitor and his retunue speaks of a great deal more than simple heresy, it sepaks of imperium shattering implications.

then again, so does the Dark age of Tech vessel.

>Double Oh my gaawwwwghghghgh.jpg

>> No.10001437

Wait, why would spinning help? I don't get it.

I don't think a simple 'nah brah he's cool; tech-bros fuck yeah' would help, would it.


>> No.10001482

>oh shit nigga wat u gonna do
Don't worry, I didn't break anything other than that administratum building, and that had faggot camper sniper heretics in it.
Broke two wraithguard chassis, though.
I only decapitate/incinerate/melt/atomise things if they try to killmaim me first.
>mystery lasers
>11/10opileakonservoskullit tweedleboopatmechandendrite.jpg

>> No.10001507

I can only assume that was a positive
>implied jpeg

>> No.10001520

Well, not exactly, I get enough of that from Mar... ah, Nameless. Although the fact he was able to incarnate in that body without exploding or mutating horribly is a good sign.

And please remember that the ship is PRE-DAoT. This means it is NOT the best humanity has ever produced. I think I would have extreme difficulty keeping hold of an ACTUAL DAoT vessel.

That said, there are a number of tech-priests in the crew of a somewhat radical bent. And you understand that working for me would make the AdMech consider you an "Explorator," which is to say, a weirdo. You may wish to carefullyconsider any decision you make. Fortunately there is some time, even the shakedown tests won't be happening for at least two weeks.

>> No.10001525

Fuckit, I'm off to the comp labs to get this MIU started. I have some Cybernetica bros interested in this now.

See you guys later. Don't let Haxtes forget: I need a scan and some blood.

>> No.10001542

But then I can increase my Fel! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME.

Also I have sexual relations with my lascannons I am pretty much a freak already.

>> No.10001550

Hope to speak to you again, Captain Rhodes.

>> No.10001559

Certainly, Lord-Captain Ruga. I can't wait to get in the ship. Until next time, I'm out.

>> No.10001563

It was as positive as a Titan that shoots baneblades from its eyes is cool.
You shall, my friend.

>> No.10001663

>increase fel
In before romancing predator annihilators.

>> No.10001669

That sounds like an expensive waste of baneblades. Then again, a titan is an expensive waste of material, so why not?

Well, Mister Tarvus, suppose I were to offer you a temporary position for "fieldwork?" Extension to permanent depending on assessment of performance. Nameless vouches for you, but then, he has somewhat idealistic standards that don't always mesh with reality. Captain Rhodes is one of the more 'human' AdMech I've ever encountered, so I'm prepared to at least listen to his opinion. Do I have your interest?

>> No.10001785

Indeed you do, Mister Ruga.
>temporary fieldwork
What would this entail?

>> No.10001820

With a Rogue Trader? Exploration, security, the possibility of boarding or counter-boarding actions, drilling untrained troops, recruiting likewise, maybe even small-scale military actions although I'd rather avoid those.

>> No.10001913

Okay then. But if I'm supposed to train people then I'll need a better uniform. And a powersword-cane.

What would my official title be, anyway?

>> No.10001954

>But if I'm supposed to train people then I'll need a better uniform. And a powersword-cane.
>Aren't we picky? Fortunately we have an extensive supply store.

Given your background I think you'll start as a Lieutenant. We can work from there.

Unfortunately I have run out of time, Mister Tarvus. If you have any further questions I'm sure Nameless will be able to help you. Eventually. When you can get him to stop talking. As I informed Captain Rhodes, we won't be going anywhere for at least two weeks, although we should be able to find you quarters in a week or so. Familiarising yourself with the ship may of use.
Thank you for your time.

>> No.10002051

Of course I'm picky. If I am supposed to train people, I can't really bum around in overalls.
And I knew you of all people would have powersword-canes. Thank you for the job.

I might hunt around for a phase-bladecane, as well.

>> No.10004707

Wow, this thread still isn't dead.

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