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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.9702820 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I NEED A TECHPRIEST.
MY MICROWAVE HAS BEEN ACTING UP AGAIN. IT ONLY WORKS ABOUT A THIRD OF THE TIME, AND IT HAS STARTED TALKING. I DO NOT THINK THAT IS NORMAL.

>> No.9702848

>>9702820
GREETINGS, HONOURED GRANDFATHER.

...HAVE YOU TRIED THE IMPACT-BASED RECONFIGURATION TECHNIQUE?

>> No.9702850

Grandpa Dreadnought, have you been flirting with that dark god again? I can never remember who these fleshies worshop anymore.

>> No.9702852

Grandpa Dreadnought, that's not a microwave, that's a Combat Servitor with a Plasma Cannon!

>> No.9702853

is it a holy symbol of the undying emperor punishing heretics in the flames of war?

>> No.9702862

inb4 namefag circlejerk

>> No.9702899

>>9702848
I HAVE SMACKED IT A FEW TIMES, YES. PUT A FEW DENTS INTO IT.
>>9702852
WELL LAST WEEK IT WAS COOKING MY BURRITOS, SO I JUST WANT IT TO WORK AGAIN.
>>9702850
... UNLESS THE DARK GOD YOU RE REFERRING TO IS A STRIPPER... NO.

>> No.9702904

Do you have a dick in that giant metal case you are in Grandpa, because even if it was wrinkled and falling apart I'd still try to suck it.

...just keep that in mind.

>> No.9702906

>>9702820
Silly dreadnought, you are a dreadnought.
Dreadnoughts don't eat. If you don't eat you have no use for a microwave.
It doesn't even heat food well.

>> No.9702936

You rang, honored grandpa Dreadnaught?

>> No.9702947

>>9702820
Greetings and salutations, Venerable One.

Have you tried Emergency Repair Procedure Number One?

... wait, that's the same as the impact-based reconfiguration technique.

>> No.9702955

>>9702906
WELL IT HEATED THEM JUST FINE UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO.
>>9702904
I... WANT YOU TO KEEP AWAY FROM ME.
>>9702936
YEAH, FIX THE MICROWAVE. I WANT IT TO COOK FOOD, NOT SCREAM AT ME.

>> No.9702965

>>9702899
>S 10 power-weapon hitting a microwave
I CAN SEE A PROBLEM HERE.

YOU COULD ALWAYS REQUISITION A NEW ONE.

>> No.9702987

rolled 31 = 31

>>9702955
Stand back, guys, I got this shit.

>Techpriest smacks the Servitor!

>> No.9702989

>>9702904
Woo! A clone!

>>9702955
Pay no mind, there are a few clones running around.

>> No.9703003

>>9702955
I can't stay away grandpa dread! I'm part Daemonette and I need a good dicking. Do you perhaps have a vibrator setting?

>> No.9703021

>>9702989
>>9703003
Yeah clones go away! There can be only one!

>> No.9703026

Evenin' Gramps.

Nah, it ain't but you'll get used to it.

>> No.9703033

Have you fed it any Holy oil as of late Respected One? I figure it must be angry from all of the human food you have been giving it.

>> No.9703044

>>9702989
As a clone it's fairly obvious. Doesn't even know what a wraithguard is.

>> No.9703053

>>9702987
I think that might have done it.

Does anyone have a burrito on hand?

>> No.9703078

Have you tried hitting it with a dead escort girl?
That worked for mine.

>> No.9703083

I am honored that you require my services.

>> No.9703098

>>9703053
THERE ARE A FEW BOXES IN THE FREEZER.
>>9703033
OIL? WHERE WOULD I PUT IT, IT IS A MICROWAVE... OR A COMBAT SERVITOR. I AM NOT REALLY SURE ANY MORE.
>>9703026
HELLO RUSS, HOW ARE THINGS?

OH! THAT REMINDS ME! IT IS MOTHER'S DAY. I HOPE YOU ALL DID SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU MOTHERS.

>> No.9703106

Being a Primarch and a Namefag is a lot of hard work. Sometimes I just like to unwind by stepping outside and letting one of the big' ol mounts have their way with me!

>> No.9703140

Try the dead-escort!
Works best with full rigor set in.

>> No.9703141

rolled 78 = 78

>>9702862
you saged.

you might as well be a name fag

>> No.9703162

>>9702820
I kan alwayz bring the fing back to da mekboyz back at kamp.

Theyz good at fixin' things.

>> No.9703167

>>9703098
Let's have a look, Grandpa.

Wait a moment. What do you mean microwave? Why would you need a microwave? Don't you have a flamer?

>> No.9703168

>>9703044
I'd post that 'how to stop trolls' thing but I've lost it in my hard-drive somewhere.

>>9703053
>oil in a microwave
Surely I am not the only one who sees a problem here.

>>9703098
IF IT IS INDEED A COMBAT SERVITOR, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE. THEY DON'T RECOVER FROM DENTINGS VERY WELL.

>> No.9703176

is your mother still alive grandpa? if so, did you do something for her?

>> No.9703201

Well it's simple. Put it inside vial and all, and turn it on. Wait for it to blow up and your microwave will be happy! Or sexually aroused. I forget which.

>> No.9703208

Papa Dread! Papa Dread!

SLUTS!

>> No.9703209

>>9703098
Well enough, friend; I shall be cooking her dinner.

>> No.9703217

>>9703098
I don't know what a cooked burrito is like.

I mean, sure, let's get that shit cooking, but I can't tell you if it'll be any good.

LET'S ROLL

>> No.9703220

>>9703176
>GD's mother
>oh god
I just imagined a mother-dreadnought. Do not want.

>> No.9703248

>>9703098
Why would talking to Leman Russ remind you it's Mothers' Day? Unless....

>>9703026
Greetings to you, Primarch. Is there something you didn't want to share with us?

>> No.9703251

>>9703220
YES! MOTHER DREADNOUGHT. In an apron with curlers and a rolling pin arm attachment.

DRAWFAGS! GET IN HERE.

>> No.9703258

WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING TO BUSEY?!

>> No.9703281

>>9703258

Hell if I know.

Dey don't pay much attention to me either. I sez we take dat microwave ans make it dead orky!

>> No.9703288

>>9703258
Because you're more of an insane alcoholic than all of us put together.

>>9703248
Why do you insist I am hiding things from you?

>>9703220
Actually, I could go for some MILF-naught.

>> No.9703289

>>9703217
THAT IS A CHIMICHANGA, NOT A BURRITO.
>>9703167
THAT WOULD BURN EVERYTHING TO ASH. THAT IS COUNTER PRODUCTIVE.
>>9703176
SHE HAS NOT BEEN WITH US FOR SEVERAL THOUSAND YEARS.
>>9703209
WAIT... I THOUGH THE EMPEROR... HMMM

>> No.9703298

>>9703258
Sorry, we heard you, but we don't have any dead joygirls. I mean, Fuuka's here, but she's not dead. Or a joygirl. I think. Admittedly she has an AMAZING arse, but...

>> No.9703300

>>9703098
Hey, it is mother's day!

Good thing I got my mum a card, a gift card to her favourite spa-- the one that does individual massages for each of her strange distended masses of tentacles-- and some really nice handmade chocolate~.

>> No.9703303

>>9703217
OKAY SOMEONE NEEDS TO TASTE IT.

>> No.9703314

>>9702820

Oh, hey Grandpa, how's it going?

>> No.9703319

>>9703303
I'z do it!

>> No.9703323

DAMMIT GRANDPA

ANSWER YOUR COM

THATS IT IM COMING OVER THERE

>> No.9703331

>>9703303
IT'S WORSE THEN I THOUGH!
Grandpa's microwave is infected by the Warp! It turned that Chimichanga into an off-brand burrito. WE NEED A PRIEST!

>> No.9703338

>>9703319
BOSS! I 'ear dat da burritos taste bestest if'n ya toss it into da Warp and let it cook for thirt'eh secondz!

>> No.9703339

I'm feeling oddly nostalgic. I haven't seen Gramps in ages. How you doing you old tin can? Turnips still full of Kriegers and Orks?

>> No.9703349

>>9703331

Den what did I jus' eat?

... IT BURNS.

>> No.9703359

>>9703289
>>9703303
CHIMICHANGAs are superior to BURRITOS

>> No.9703363

>>9703339

No kriegers in the turnips.

>> No.9703364

>>9703248
Nnnnnnnno.

>>9703303
I would but I don't have a mouth.

>>9703300
STOP SHOWING OFF, you zany navigator you.

>> No.9703383

>>9703288
I'm not insisting, I'm just wondering why Grandpa Dread thinks you remind him of mothers. I'm sure you know how hard it is to get a straight answer out of Grandpa.

>> No.9703386

>>9703363
Then what happened to them? You don't just lose a shipment of Kriegers.

>> No.9703397

>>9703331
Yes?

>> No.9703398

>> No.9703401

>>9703331
LIKE I SAID, IT HAS BEEN ACTING FUNNY.
>>9703323
WHAT? WHO ARE YOU?
>>9703339
I WAS HERE ABOUT TWO WEEKS AGO. THE... MONTH BEFORE THAT I WAS DRINKING. HEAVILY. FOR ME.
AND THEY ARE DOING NICELY. GOT ANOTHER SHIPMENT OF KRIEGERS LAST TUESDAY. I WAS TRYING TO GET RAKES.
>>9703300
GOOD FOR YOU GIRL! THAT IS THE WAY TO TREAT YOUR MOTH- DID YOU SAY TENTACLES?

>> No.9703403

>>9703364
>>9703300
Nimue needs to make a pic of herself making this face with the caption: "Yeah I'm a Sorcerer"

>> No.9703412

>>9703386

My guess is that their tour was over and they got shipped elsewhere.

>> No.9703426

>>9703331
>>9703349
welp time to shunt the thing out to a furnace and get a new one.

>> No.9703428

>>9703383
I don't think that's what he meant.

>> No.9703432

>>9703363
>>9703386
Maybe they're so entrenched you can't determine them from the soil itself?

>>9703303
>not a chimichanga
FOUL WARP-SPAWNED MICROWAVE COMBAT SERVITOR.

>> No.9703437

>>9703412

Me and some of my boyz got ambushed by Kreigers, recently.

...Waz a great scrap.

>> No.9703438 [DELETED] 

>> No.9703451

>>9703412
Likely.
>>9703401
Eh, I haven't been floating around here as much on the weekends any more.
And you could just have them pick up the leaves by hand. I'm sure they won't complain. Just call it the "Emperor's Chosen Duty" or something.

>> No.9703459

>> No.9703462

How dare thee not pay attention to Busey-nought's insights!

Busey Rage!

I FEEL THE WARP OVERTAKING ME.

>> No.9703468

>>9703462
Are you sure it's the warp? And not cocaine or something?

>> No.9703478

>>9703426

I kan take it back to kamp, make it real orky ans all.

...A looted kombat mikrowave cybork boy.

>> No.9703481

>> No.9703487

Perhaps you should just get a new one Gramps, my specialties don't really lie in the area of exorcising possessed microwave ovens.
I could blow it up however.

>> No.9703515

>>9703462

>> No.9703518

I still say you need to give it Holy Oil to please it/arouse it.

>> No.9703519

>>9702820

Not happy with your microwave, eh?

Would you like some toast?

>> No.9703520

>>9703487
I think that's the one thing everyone here can do, honored runepriest.

>> No.9703523

>>9703462

I hear weird voices.

>> No.9703530

>>9703428
Ah, my mistake.

But while people are around...
>>9703208
FUUKA! HELLLOOOO! CAN YOU ANSWER A QUESTION PLEASE?

>> No.9703535

>>9703487
LET THE GREENIES HAVE IT. HOPEFULLY IT WILL EXPLODE INTO A DAEMON AND KILL THEM BEFORE FALLING TO IT'S OWN WOUNDS.
>>9703451
THE KRIEGERS AND THEIR ENTRENCHING TOOLS HAVE TAKEN THE PLACE OF THE VAST MAJORITY OF MY GARDENING TOOLS.

>> No.9703536

>>9703478
Oho. I fully support this endeavour.

>>9703403
But where would her third Navigator eye point?

>>9703520
>>9703487
Blow it up AFTER it's on the ork.

>> No.9703555

>>9703515
>>9703462
You're one weird bastard.

>> No.9703559

>>9703468
BUSEY KNOWS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO!

>> No.9703561

>>9703536

Instead ov dakka, it shoots warp-spawned squig burritos!

...Dat eat people. Do we fund it?

>> No.9703594

>>9703535
>I have possibly illegal immigrant Krigers doing my garden work.
>my face

>> No.9703612

>>9703535
>Implying that you'd need any tools if you have kriegers.

>>9703561
FUND IT

>> No.9703627

>>9703612

WE NEEDZ TEEF!

Know where da nearest bar is?

>> No.9703643

>>9703594
WELL WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM? THEY KEEP ARRIVING IN BOXES. THEY NEED TO EARN THERE KEEP SOMEHOW.
AND I DOUBT THEY ARE ILLEGAL.
>>9703612
I LIKE TO DO MY OWN YARD WORK SOMETIMES. IT IS THERAPEUTIC, LIKE MY SLIPPERS.

>> No.9703652

>>9703555
>>9703555

Says the yiffing primarch! Hah!

>> No.9703653

>>9703627
I hear there's one 5 clicks north of here. If I remember right, the special tonight is a cement mixer, with real cement.

>> No.9703681

>>9703594
>>9703612
>>9703535

I find these comments slightly offensive.

>> No.9703686

>>9703643
LET ME SEE THOSE SLIPPERS

>>9703652
Well at least *I'm* in focus.

>> No.9703692

>>9703594
Gramps has a point. They would have been shipped with all the forms duly notarised by the Departmento Munitorum. They're not going to make a mistake like that.

At least, I'm not about to accuse them of making a mistake like that.

>> No.9703723

Well, that was a trip.
Busey-nought is going back to rehab now.

>> No.9703724

>>9703653

execus me while I go get da fundin fer my taktical kombat mikrowave cybork boy.

*puts on power klaw*

>> No.9703725

>>9703692
>>9703643
Both of these are true.

Not to mention I bet you have the squarest hedges this side of boxton.

>> No.9703734

>>9703724
Not to be picky, but wouldn't you need an ork to attach the cyber bits to?

>> No.9703749

>>9703681
IT WAS A COMPLEMENT!

>>9703643
>THEY KEEP ARRIVING IN BOXES
EXCUSE ME, HONOURED GRANDFATHER
ARE THERE RETURN ADDRESSES ON THOSE BOXES?

>> No.9703750

>>9703734

hmm...Good point.

Where's squigzog?

>> No.9703770

A hundred years in the warp, and you people never changed.

It is good to see you again Venerable Grandfather.

>> No.9703785

>>9703725
Hah! Squarer. Unless Boxton has Kriegers.

"Krieger Hedgeworks - None Squarer!"

>> No.9703810

>>9703770

Don't know where you've been, but it's not been a hundred years.

>>9703749

Bah.

>> No.9703827

>>9703770

itz one of them shiney gitz! Where's the green beamy thingy?

>> No.9703831

>>9703810
I was stuck in the Warp for 100 years.

>> No.9703835

>>9703770
Hello there, comrade! How have the years fared for you?

>> No.9703871

>>9703831
Greetings and salutations, you weird hybrid archæotech you. How are you? And how is your resident AI?

>> No.9703874

>>9703831

Felt like 6 months for us.

>> No.9703891

>>9703770
So...that you in that picture there? You could do with some moisturizer.

>>9703810
I've always admired those gas-masks, by the way.
...please don't entrenching tool me

>> No.9703943

>>9703891

>> No.9703958

>>9703835
Well the Space Hulk I was fighting on was somehow called back to the Warp. There I fought demons and heretics for 100 years. Once I finally returned to my chapter, I was stripped of my armor do to the Ecclesiarchy.

>>9703871
The AI has been silent since I left the Warp.

>>9703874
Time in the Warp is different to that of reality.

>>9703891
I think oil would be better.

>> No.9703969

SORRY ABOUT THAT. A TAU GOT INTO THE VENTS AGAIN. I AM BACK.
>>9703686
ARE YOU GOING TO CHEW THEM AGAIN?
>>9703725
THE KRIEGERS ARE GOOD AT THREE THINGS. ENTRENCHING, DIEING FOR THE EMPEROR, AND YARD WORK.
THE LAST ONE SURPRISED ME TOO.

>> No.9703973

>>9703943

>> No.9703993

>>9703973

If you are talking about yourself, then yes.

>> No.9703999

>>9703958
Oh.

Well then.

I'm sure I got a spare lying around here somewhere...

>> No.9704013

>>9703969
It makes sense, though. Sometimes they camouflage their trenches and bunkers. And Krieger Hedgeworks isn't entirely a joke - they do landscaping for physical therapy when they're too injured to be on active duty. It's a gift they have.

>> No.9704019

>>9703999
Don't bother, the Ecclesiarchy will just take it away.
If I'm lucky, that's all they will take from me.

>> No.9704071

>>9703993
...I'll just be over here. Way over here.

>>9703958
>was stripped of my armor due to the Ecclesiarchy
>priests took my shit, man
That would suck. Can you get it back somehow? Why'd they take it?

>> No.9704076

does anyone have the advise techpreist pics. like the ''computer boots succsesfully. PRAIS OMNISHIA

>> No.9704138

>>9704019
Pah! Fuck em! If you need someone off your back, just give me a howl... it won't be a clean kill, but it'll get them off your scent, and what do my sons care about those prancing faggots anyway? I'm here for you buddy.

>> No.9704158

>>9704076

...

< Ask, and you shall receive. >

...

>> No.9704164

>>9704138
Er, Primarch? Have you been at the "medicinal" brandy again?

>> No.9704168

>>9704076
>>9704158

...

< And the original. >

...

>> No.9704175

Well, after collecting a grotesque amount of teef and knocking a random ork out cold, I have done it.

BEHOLD, MY TAKTICAL KOMBAT MIKROWAVE CYBORK BOY!

>> No.9704198

FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME!

>> No.9704224

>>9704071
I'm being tried for as a heretic.

There are only two possible ways to prove I am not. Either I destroy the AI, which would kill me do to some...complications. Or I reprogram it, and have it serve the Emperor. Fortunately, my chapter has come in contact with another chapter that believes it has the key to reprogramming the AI. However, this chapter lives all the way on the other side of the Imperium.

>>9704138
While I appreciate your want to help, it wouldn't work. It's not just one person and killing members of the Ecclesiarchy could start a civil war.

>> No.9704265

>>9704224
Interesting that it's the Ecclesiarchy trying you for heresy, and not the AdMech for tech-heresy. And that they're willing to antagonise a Space Marine Chapter to do it.

Do you have any pressing reason to stay within reach of the Eccles?

>> No.9704271

>>9704240
Now that's worth a screencap.

>> No.9704272

>>9704224
Other side of the Imperium you say?

TILETH! LET ME USE THE WEBWAY!

>> No.9704279

>>9704265
>reads up to this bullshit

Tell them to get fucked, phone up the nearest Secutor, let him rip shit up. It'll be awesome.

WHY DO I STILL HAVE ALLERGIES

I DON'T EVEN HAVE A NOSE

>> No.9704283

>>9704224
>my chapter has come in contact with another chapter
What's the other chapter?

>>9704175
Ohohoho.

>> No.9704317

>>9704272

...

< Why? >

...

< You Mon Keigh don't exactly have a good track record when it comes to using the Webway. >

...

< Primarchs in particular. >

...

>> No.9704354

>>9704317
You rang?

>> No.9704355

>>9704317
You saw what Termie needs, it'll be easier if you let me use it! I promise I won't let a bunch of Guardsmen in either.

>> No.9704377

>>9704265
The Ecclesiarchy spread themselves throughout the entire Imperium. Normally my chapter would have nothing to do with them, like usual. However, they and a living saint blessed the AI chip. This gave them a reason to keep a close eye on my chapter. They have always suspected us of being on the brink of heresy.

>>9704281
I do not know it's name. Apparently, it is one of the few chapters we know as friends. And it's home world is known only to the Great Clan Council. They will tell me nothing more.

>> No.9704388

>>9704317
Wraithlord has a point. It's like the webway specifically targets primarchs.

>>9704279
IT'S ALL IN YOUR MIND, RHODES

>> No.9704442

>>9704317
Whine whine whine, it's not like there are any Primarchs hunting Craftworld or Exodite Eldar. Are there?

Now, will you let Russ use the webway, or do I have to ask if anyone has that picture of the wraithlord? With breasts?

>> No.9704456

>>9704388
Yeah, but do you even KNOW how fast my bike will go in there?

Shit is so cash.

>> No.9704467

>>9704442
Hey now, I was asking politely, you don't get to go ordering her around.

Plus I could just go through Jags.

>> No.9704474

>>9704456
Your bike isn't moving, the rest of the webway is moving around you.

Think about it.

>>9704442
>picture of the wraithlord? With breasts
I'm seconding this request.

>> No.9704500

>>9704467
Actually, I do get to. Particularly since it seems the Eldar can be Delivered from She-Who-Thirsts. We had a Solitaire achieve satori a few days ago.
But it was more about courtesy than coercion. Why would a wraithlord CARE about ridiculous fictional mon'keigh scribbles?

>> No.9704501

>>9704442

...

< You mean this one? >

...

>> No.9704513

>>9704474
FUCK! MY HEAD!

GODDAMMIT! I NEED TO KILL SOMETHING NOW!

Back to Camoro or whatever the fuck the sick little bastards call it...

>> No.9704530

>>9704501
Actually, I think there's another one. But thank you.

>> No.9704559

>>9704530
Yes, there's another one.

>>9704501
Hey Tileth, what did you do before you died? What Path did you follow?

>> No.9704580

>>9704513
Seeya bro.

>> No.9704634

>>9704559

...

< I was a Striking Scorpion in my day. >

...

< Before that I spent many years as an outcast. >

...

>> No.9704653

>>9704501
Tileth you've recently become more attractive! What kind of new cream do you use?

>> No.9704670

>>9704634
Next question: Would you be for or against having four brightlances mounted on you?

>> No.9704683

>>9704670
Try "armed with." With this group, you just KNOW someone's going to deliberately misinterpret that.

>> No.9704712

>>9704670

...

< ... >

...

< Is that some sort of crude joke, Mon Keigh? >

...

>> No.9704723

>>9704683
...Yeah. Probably. Question still stands, though.

I mean, the effect would be scary as heck. DISCO WRAITHLORD!

>> No.9704738

>>9704723
You'd need scatter lasers for that.

>> No.9704739

>>9704712
>Is that some sort of crude joke, Mon Keigh
You have a dirty mind, Tileth. I mean, how would that even work?
...
Anyway, as Nameless said, how would you feel about being armed with four Brightlances?

>> No.9704751

>>9704738
Did I say disco? I meant strobe wraithlord.

>> No.9704759

OH BOY. SUMMER ALREADY?

>> No.9704777

>>9704759
Not 'til June, kid...

>> No.9704794

>>9704739

...

< The one I already have doesn't do me any good. >

...

< So I don't see how having four would help. >

...

>> No.9704812

>>9704751
I recall the Eldar xenos already being too colorful even without your ideas.

>> No.9704826

>>9704794
Weight of fire.
You're much more likely to hit with four shots than just one. Anyway, it's not like you need a melee weapon. You can just kick stuff to death.

>> No.9704863

>>9704826
Personally, I think it'd just waste four times the ammunition.

>> No.9704876

>>9704863
Well you think its a bad idea, now she's gotta do it.

>> No.9704896

>>9704863
I'll just be going now.
And not because you just annoyed a s10 monstrous creature, or anything. Nameless' servitors are digging me out of the hull as we speak. Have fun, and stay away from the ȓ̖̣͈͓̍̽͐ͮ̚̚͝o̟̣̱̬̪̯͓͒̉̓̕g̴̡̲̝̞̐̿̀͛u̙̱̲̻ͧͬͣ͋͛ͥ̎ͤ̈́ė̌̾
̜̘̩̰̩̤ͨ͒̓̈ḻ͎͚̲̾̓ͨ̾ͩ̄͂̿̃͞ǐ̷̦̠̼̺̫̏͐͊̆́k̵̡̼̙̯͓̬͎̙̰͆ͨ
e̙̺̹͕̝͇̩͚̪͆͊́š̼̭͈̝͙͒̿͢͟.̰̲̘͉̬ͦͮ̏

>> No.9704918

>>9704896
DON'T YOU DARE TRANSMIT THAT!

>> No.9704926

>>9704826
>dat pic

Lol'ing hard, oh god I lol'd

>> No.9704928

>>9704876
Oh, are we doing "Do the opposite of whatever the Sisters say" again?

>> No.9704929

>>9704918
That said, I do wonder what the AdMech would make of the discovery of an ancient roguelike.

>> No.9704950

>>9704896
I make a living out of angering the giant plastic toy.

>> No.9705001

>>9704950
Is that what the kids are calling sensual aid use nowadays?

>> No.9705012

>>9704950

> angering the giant plastic toy.
Hot

>> No.9705031

>>9705001
>>9705012
It has its own power plant, too. No need for batteries.

>> No.9705035

>>9705001
>>9705012
I don't think we're thinking of the same Wraithlord.
>>9705031
It doesn't?

>> No.9705054

>>9704950

...

< Yes, you Sisters would know a thing or two about giant plastic toys, wouldn't you. >

...

>> No.9705062

>>9704950
>>9705001
>>9705031
Wait, I'm confused. How are we supposed to deal with those Xenos constructs?

>> No.9705073

>>9704950
>>9705001
>>9705012
>>9705031
>>9705035
>>9705054

>> No.9705075

>>9705054
What? I don't get it?
>>9705062
Light them on fire and shoot them with melta. Same as everything.

>> No.9705091

>>9705075
Say. What ever happened to Nil? Did he head off with the Black ships on Inquisition shenanigans?

>> No.9705104

>>9705091
More or less. I think he's been re-purposed and reassigned.

>> No.9705116

>>9705062
With hugs and puppies. If Eldar kill puppies they lose their proclaimed moral superiority. So they can't. It's quite delicious, watching them squirm. Especially the Banshees.

Mmm, squirming Banshees.

>> No.9705123

How's Tankred been? Did he need new arms or did they manage to scrub all the Chaos-tainted ambergris off his old ones?

>> No.9705124

>>9705091
>>9705104
Oh.

Ok then.

...

>> No.9705161

>>9705116
>sqirming banshees
They the same ones you spank?
Or do they just squirm when they're anywhere near you, because you're such a hideous abomination?

>> No.9705234

>>9705161
Who said anything about spanking Banshees? Although, now that you mention it...

No! No! It's just that the puppies are too cute, and a Banshee's howl is indiscriminate and would frighten the puppies, so they can't use it. But they need it to defend themselves from glomping and close-quarters huggles. But it'd scare the puppies! The dilemma! The agony of indecision!

>> No.9705241

What's all this commotion?

>> No.9705294

>>9705234

...

< Or they could just, oh I don't know, STAB YOU. >

...

>>9705241

...

< The usual. >

...

< Heresy against you corpse emperor, consorting with xenos, all that great stuff. >

...

>> No.9705304

>>9705234
So you spank them...with puppies?
...BRILLIANT.

>> No.9705322

>>9705294
HERESY?

No no no no no, that just won't do.

>> No.9705337

>>9705294
Silly xenos, I wouldn't expect you to understand. You've been a wraithlord for so long, you've forgotten what it means to be alive. Perhaps if you had a boyfriend to relate to or something...

>> No.9705356

Now you leave the thread to cook for a minute.

And you're done!

>> No.9705390

>>9705337
Ixnay on the oyfriendbay...

>> No.9705403

>>9705390
What? Why?

>> No.9705409

>>9705337

...

< I'm going to start brutally murdering you now. >

...

< I'm not sure when I'll stop. >

...

< Presumably once you are thoroughly dead. >

...

< Though to be honest I might keep at it well after that. >

...

>> No.9705426

>>9705409
That.

>> No.9705433

>>9705409
Run out of witty retorts, then? Aren't you Eldar supposed to be smarter than us stupid mon'keigh?

Well, I'll just stand over here, so you have plenty of room when you miss.

>> No.9705473

>>9705426
Wait. Why doesn't it, err, she. just drop some motives towards a guy?
I mean, hell, us guys aren't that hard to captivate.

>> No.9705540

>>9705473
She has a very particular guy in mind, but also happens to be in denial about it.

>> No.9705559

>>9705540
Wait, Gramps?

Why doesn't she just show up in his house wearing nothing but a purity seal and a bottle of whiskey?

>> No.9705562

>>9705540
It's not the Big E is it?

>> No.9705571

I want a techpriest in my house

>> No.9705580

...

>> No.9705585

>>9705562
No, that's Macha's crush.

>> No.9705628

>>9705559

Actually, she doesn't wear any clothes in the first place. She's a wraithlord, after all.

>> No.9705761

Am I dead yet? Can I open my eyes?

... nobody start with that HARMONY HARMONY shit.

>> No.9705780

>>9705473
>>9705540
>>9705559
>>9705628

They had a falling out.

Actually, we had a falling out, and I don't remember much about it...

>> No.9705811

>>9705780
Apparently, none of you do. So the only thing stopping them getting back together is sheer pig-headedness.

>> No.9705813

>>9705761

You don't need eyes where we're going.

>> No.9705816

>>9705628
Actually, she's wearing a Wraithlord.

>> No.9705890

>>9705811

...

< I remember clearly. >

...

< I remember him killing me. >

...

>> No.9705925

>>9705890
... Ah. My apologies.

Do you know why?

>> No.9705927

>>9705890
>Implying that death isn't a fair price to pay for T8
Man up.

>> No.9706007

>>9705890

Hey, he's dead too, you have so much in common!

>> No.9706079

>>9705925
Oh yes...

Child, I would advise you not to pursue the matter further.

As for me, I'm off to sleep away the whatever.

Don't provoke the lady, it's not nice.

>> No.9706216

>>9706079

...

< Good night, Russ. >

...

>> No.9706296

>>9706079
That's one helluva bulge you got down there Russ..

>> No.9706410

>>9706296

>> No.9706483

Microwave needs more dakka.

>>
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