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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.9632490 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I was running a game today and one of my players criticised me for something. I'm a big enough boy to accept that I'm not perfect but the complaint he made was... well, pic related.

He said, and I wish I was making it up, that it was unfair for me to run combats against their characters because I knew their stats.

ITT: Most retarded things you've heard from your players

>> No.9632550

In a Mutants and Masterminds game, one player wanted to make a guy who had spent all his powers on the Additional Limbs power.

He keeps complaining that I didn't let him make Ball Of Arms Man to this day.

>> No.9632716

Next time, break out your best Eastern European accent and say the following:



>> No.9632720

I had a player who wanted to carry around over 100,000 pieces of chalk. He argued because they have no weight, they have no mass, and therefore take up no space.

>> No.9632768


But that's amazing what on earth is wrong with you.

>> No.9632779


Best. Episode. EVAR!

>> No.9632794

>Ball Of Arms Man

This is my next M&M character.

>> No.9632836


It's a hilarious concept, I agree, but mechanically he'd be useless. There's no mechanical benefit to more than one rank in Additional Limbs.

I houserule that more arms gives you higher lifting strength like Super-Strength and more legs gives you a greater movement rate like the Speed power, so with those modifications Ball Of Arms Man might be viable.

>> No.9632847

You're a terrible GM.

>> No.9632849


That one, or the Apocalypse Now one.

I mean shit, Apocalypse Now? In a children's cartoon? Fuck...

>> No.9632886

Another Mutants and Masterminds character

>I have power over Light and can make hard-light constructs.
>My team and I are battling a hostile pantheon of gods who are holding a convention centre full of nuns hostage
>I am the only one in my team who can fly
>I can and will therefore turn the floor of the convention centre into laser beams.

>> No.9632888



>> No.9632903


>> No.9632922

Play a serenity game... Some kid that didn't watch the show and didn't even prepare and we did have a month time. Well he just destroy the game by try to take over the ship in the first game.

>> No.9632926


Toss in Ambidexterity so he can multi-wield all those dakka guns.

>> No.9632927


I assume that results in all the people dying.

>> No.9632956


Did you at least shout "THE FLOOR IS LAVA" before doing this?

>> No.9632963

More like omnidexterity.

>> No.9632967


>> No.9632981

He can do that already, just with accuracy penalties.

And when you've got more dakka accuracy doesn't matter.

>> No.9632982


It resulted in all of us going "What? No, that's retarded" and then laughing at him for five minutes straight. There was a game of Vampire going on in the same room as us and some of their players came over to see what all the laughing was about. So we told them. And they started laughing too.

The best part? He was completely serious about his idea and tried to back it up with science. It's pretty much become my go-to example of demonstrating the difference between INT and WIS; INT is knowing something might theoretically be possible and WIS is knowing it's retarded.

But yeah, his plan would have resulted in like two hundred dead hostages and possibly some team mates too. GREAT WORK SUPERCOP.

>> No.9633010


True; that much dakka is more like an Area effect than anything else.

>> No.9633033


No, he didn't. He actually thought turning the floor to lasers was a clever, tactically sound move. Yes, he was aware of the hostages.

>> No.9633076


Ball Of Arms Man, thank god you're here! Evillor has turned the city's supply of pickle jars into thermonuclear devices and they're going to explode unless someone can open two thousand jars at precisely the same moment! You're our only hope!

>> No.9633082

Extra legs don't make you faster. Millipedes and crabs have tons of legs, but they move slowly, or are forced to move sideways.

>> No.9633088


But you see this man is a ball. Of arms. Being spherical makes him faster.

>> No.9633104

Remember that MnM is a superhero game so use superhero logic.

>> No.9633125


True, but comic book logic would tell us that more legs equals more goes-fast. And Mutants and Masterminds runs on comic book logic.

>> No.9633127


So he has hundereds of arms all coming out of the same two shoulder joints?

>> No.9633136



>> No.9633141


Comic book logic.

Also, they should be some compensation for someone sinking four or five points into a power that would otherwise be wasted. Having eight arms should give you an advantage over four.

>> No.9633157


Who knows? No-one has been able to pierce the veil of arms to see the man beneath. For all we know, he could be arms all the way down. His body might be a portal to the elemental plane of arms.

>> No.9633170

imagine a ball made entirely of arms

thats him

>> No.9633178

>a portal to the elemental plane of arms

>> No.9633195


Oh god the elemental plane of arms.

I lol'd hysterically

>> No.9633222

There need to be plenty of ramp-shaped buildings for him to roll down, to gather speed for a ball of punches directed at a giant monster.

>> No.9633223

>Running PARANOIA.
>Sending the Troubleshooters to the moon.
>Assign vague mission ("get your stuff, go to this room, fix this machine")
>Players in PLC Office that is suspiciously like the DMV, waiting
>Everyone gets a suit of reflec and two laser barrels
>"That Guy" gets only one laser barrel
>"That Guy" immediately opens fire on the clerk, and kills several random people in line
>Other players kill him
>"That Guy" is dead, one other is dead, one is Down, one is perfectly alive
>Repattern "That Guy"
>He bitches about skill point penalty
>"Well what did you want?"
>"I was expecting to get my clone line erased! I'm not deducting my skills!"
>My face

>> No.9633233

>Ball of arms man
Why has no one suggested making ball of arms man the world's most powerful martial artist? Give him a small dose of super-strength and there's no telling what he can do in close combat. He's like a rolling tornado made of fists!

Although he may have to use sign language to communicate, unless there's an actual face buried under all those arms. But I like to think of him as more a land traveling, arm based sea anemone.

>> No.9633237

>elemental plane of arms.
I actually think that's a sub-plane of the meat dimension that or possibly where the punch dimension comes from.

>> No.9633255

>> No.9633286

the punch dimension is a sub-plane of the elemental plane of arms

>> No.9633305

I'm faceplaming and loling so hard i bit my hand...

>> No.9633311

Katamari Jitsu

>> No.9633315


He's got a potentially infinite number of fingers, so he can get about normally.


My god. How would you fight Ball Of Arms Man? He'd never stop punching you!


The punch dimension is a particularly angry sub-plane of the elemental plane of arms.

>> No.9633335

Someone get /co/ in here. Ball Of Arms Man would be right up their alley.

>> No.9633339

just imagine though. you're godzilla. you year someone yelling "HES GONNA JUMP!". you take a look, and you see three hundred and sixty degrees of punch rolling down the front of the bank headquarters and in your direction

>> No.9633349

I would post about it but I don't know how to do cross-board links

>> No.9633358


>three hundred and sixty degrees of punch

There's his tagline-slash-catchphrase.

>> No.9633364

We need a few things in here. Writefaggotry and Drawfaggery for starters. Also Ball of Arms Man hijack.

>> No.9633373

so he's not a ball of punch but a circle of punch?
it should be 129600 degrees of punch

>> No.9633376


He's got so many arms it'll grab anyone's attention!

>> No.9633389


Comic book logic.

>> No.9633392

I like the idea that there's this Chicken Boo thing going on with BoAMan. Like, everyone in Bicep City loves him as their native hero and see him as looking just like Superman, but there's this one guy who's just moved there who sees him for what he really is.

"For God's sake, he's a BALL OF ARMS! Why don't you see that?"

>> No.9633405

Also on the sign language part. Depending on how fast the mental processes are of Ball of Arms Man (BAM), he could be carrying on several different conversations in sign language at the same time.

Alternatively BAM could be reading/analyzing several Braille texts simultaneously.

>> No.9633423

When humans first started experimenting with dimension travel through the multiverse, it was a very unrefined technique. In labs hidden beneath rock and concrete, scientists worked to open portals to new dimensions, but without any navigation aid and only the vaguest idea of how to open portals, progress was slow.

It was in one such base, on a cold december evening that the hero we know as 'Ball Of Arms man' was created.

>> No.9633445


Who says that BAM would be only good at punching. We don't want to railroad him into a purely combat role. He could be the most productive intellectual in the world.

>> No.9633448


Eh, it lacks punch.

(c wut i did thur)

>> No.9633458


I like the idea that every arm is a different 'head' and can carry on multiple conversations - with each other as well. He's not really one man, he's a hive mind.

A hive mind of arms.

>> No.9633463

so is he a portal to the plane of arms or is he the manifestation of the plane of arms?

>> No.9633471


He's an arm elemental.

>> No.9633474

He could be a great lady's man.

>implied "he's all hands" pun

>> No.9633490

Why is him being a Ball of Arms so bad if he has a NOBLE SOUL?

>> No.9633504


He could be a gifted technician or repairman.

A handyman, if you will.

>> No.9633519

this thread is really getting out of hand now

>> No.9633530

With that many arms at least one hand is probably constantly touching himself. You might not be able to tell at first look, however, all the other arms provide cover.

>> No.9633533

This thread is too full of puns and I'm not gonna give you a hand with it...NO WAIT!

>> No.9633538

One hand should be designated the representative and have one of those googly-eye ring thingies!

>> No.9633541

Of course no one knows where Ball of Arms man lives.

But secretly it's Palm Cove

>> No.9633542


Touching himself where? He's MADE OF ARMS.

>> No.9633548

You sir, are a pox to creativity
It's funny because he was replaced right after his rant

>> No.9633555


It has a face drawn on it in marker pen and moves the 'mouth' by waggling the thumb up and down.

>> No.9633558

Chief Scientist Henry Chase ordered a new portal be opened. So the technicians scrabbled to the machine, calibrating at random in the hopes of opening a portal to a completely new world. One in which there could be some new technology to be stolen or some resource to be exploited. Of course, no-one had ever considered that most other dimensions were not like ours at all, and the random openings were the most dangerous thing they could possibly do.

The machine calibrated the technicians scuttled to begin the countdown to activation

3 minutes to go.

Dr Henry Chase took up his seat in the control room. Surely this time he could find something of worth.

2 minutes to go
The power began to amp up. The hum of the machine began to get louder.

1 minute to go
The sound is getting to an unbearable level. Everyone on the floor wears ear defenders, but even these cannot block the noise completely

10 seconds to go

Henry Chase leans forwards in excitement

the sound is deafening to all, defenders or not
A blast of light, severing a gap in our very reality.
A portal is open, and from that portal falls...

Hundreds of Arms, all pushing for freedom through a tiny gap.

>> No.9633562

I had a player lie to me that he was down when he was just prone. I would have just let him get away with it if he tried to roleplay or ask if he could try bluff check.

Outright lied to me. He stands up his next turn and was just "lol I pretended" and thinks it's ok to lie to me. I tell him not to do it again and he does it again. So the next encounter, he was the focus of every single attack until he was dead. He gets pissed off because I never coupe de grace a player when they're down. I tell him I can't trust him anymore and that I will not have my players cheat.

>> No.9633571


Look, there's no need for conflict. We can reach an armistice.

>> No.9633572

I linked them but /co/ seems to move a lot faster than us, I don't think anyone's noticed aside from one /co/mrade who corrected my link.

>> No.9633581

I don't really see him as a Reed Richards type. He's probably more like a super powered everyman, who just happens to be a ball of arms. If he's more insightful, it stems more from his unusual condition than any innate power.

>> No.9633588


>Henry Chase

Fail. His name is Henry Armstrong.

>> No.9633605


I can see him being a great dramatist.

Well, with shadow puppets at least.

>> No.9633614

Your post is off topic now. This thread has been strongarmed towards BAM.

>> No.9633617

I come here in search of player stupidity, and instead find Ball of Arms Man.

never change, /tg/.

>> No.9633637

His themetune:

>> No.9633640


>> No.9633644

BAM does have its problems though...

how many tubes of lotion does he go through in a day

>> No.9633649

>Level four characters
>Looking over sheets
>Barbarian has 80+ HP
>Ask why
>Responds with "Well, I drank a bunch of healing potions, and those add HP, right?"

>> No.9633653

Recursive /co/ link:

>> No.9633654

come on, it's obvious if you read it, that the name of the scientist has no relevance to ball of arms man. He is a portal to the plane of arms.

>> No.9633667

Ball of Arms Man became that much better now.

>> No.9633674

By night - Ball of Arms Man!

By day, mild mannered Wally Armsman, skilled masseuse!

>> No.9633681


Hand model.

>> No.9633695

He's a living goddamn portal how the hell would he have a secret identity?

>> No.9633702

...What would be his nemesis?

>> No.9633709

I'm thinking every arm has it's own agenda.
So some want to punch, some to stroke.

But they communicate with eachother (I guess I'm thinking geth style, but not quite so gay)

>> No.9633712


He is an internet based hand model. he can type and phenominal speeds (He also does data entry)

>> No.9633725

I had someone who wanted to make portals into the subway to throw subway trains at people.

She also wanted to have a telekinetic power to rip people's arms off.
That was saved against by Will.

>> No.9633727

opinions on this as an origin story?

It's my first attempt at writefaggotry, and I know it could use some work

>> No.9633728


The nemesis of ball of ARMS?

The cube of solace?

The pyramid of pain?

>> No.9633735

A Mound of dicks.

>> No.9633742

>Rip people's arms off...

Never Fear Ball of Arms Man is here.

>> No.9633743

Something related to charlie horses?

>> No.9633752

Box of legs.

>> No.9633762


Ball of Legs Man, duh.

>> No.9633764

I just tried making a PL 10 Ball of Arms man in Hero Lab. The program literally cannot handle the number of arms 150 Power Points worth of Additional Limbs would give him.

And after that I was planning to give him the Disability (No Legs) and use that to buy more arms.

>> No.9633765

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

>> No.9633773

Doctor Charles Equestrian and his terrible cramp ray?

he once once a famed medical researcher who too joy in helping people throwugh electrmagnetic field manipulation,

but a terrible pulse occured when BAM came to be, which disrupted his work, and ruined him.

Now he seeks vengeance with a number of vaguely medical evil inventions.

>> No.9633777


>rip people's arms off


Seriously, that's like Unstoppable Force meets Immovable Object material right there.

>> No.9633786

give him some levels in super strength too.
Is there a super movement (rolling through fucking everything) type feat?

>> No.9633791


also imagine having a tentacle monster which each limb ends in an iv, to drain the blood of a thousand arms.

to steal the very life force of BAM!

>> No.9633795

To preserve his secret identity, when fighting crime he puts on like 5000 gloves. People never seem to make the connection between the crime fighting ball of arms and the mild-mannered ball of arms they know in everyday life.

...Except for that one dude, but everyone thinks he's crazy.

>> No.9633805

Ohgod. That reminds of a whimsical shadowrun session where a goo-grenade went wrong, covered me in goo and I decided to go katamari damacy on everyone. I soon became some kind of lovecraftian horror, a walking, stumbling ball of bodies and junk with me as the nucleus, tumbling through the city with the moans of my outer shell echoing through the streets. My reign of terror ended soon after my former teammates formed a new team called GLUE BUSTERS. And promptly blasted me with a rocket launcher.

>> No.9633810

It's only unfair to run combat against players when you play the monsters as if they know the players stats and abilities as well as you do. Were you doing that?

>> No.9633811

a pile of tits

>> No.9633812


I second this motion.

>> No.9633821


Love interest he can never get close to.

>> No.9633836

Player is climbing up a rope. No special powers, just getting his ass out of fucking moat after being a retard.

Dwarf aims a kick at his face. Dwarf is stood on the ground he's climbing onto.

>"I dodge"

My only question was how? He then goes onto some crazy-ass mary-sue rant about athletical ability, to which the answer is no. Just, no.

>> No.9633848


I ran a duel as if the opponent wanted to win the duel, as in making tactical decisions that actually levied only a minor advantage, which the PC duellists own statistical bonuses more than compensated for anyway.

>> No.9633858

Also I now have a vision of a ball of arms rolling over the top of a metro grabbing the end and throwing it back at the reciever while that one constantly rips his arms off who seem to be replaced by even more armes as a sort of ball shaped hydra

>> No.9633860

> a pile of tits


yo homie, whats up?

>> No.9633867


>> No.9633868

>I had someone who wanted to make portals into the subway to throw subway trains at people.


>> No.9633869

Hello, new and valued customer! See you have many hands, few legs! It must be tiresome to walk on hands all day, but now Crazy Hassan has the answer for you- for only twenty dollars you can take home this glorious slightly used camel with not one, not four, but sixty seven legs! Not only you get off hands, you also have similar companion!

>> No.9633879


What I'm thinking is this:

30 Ranks in Additional Limbs (1955032704 extra arms)
Super Movement (Wall Crawling 2, Sure-Footed 4)
Super Strength 5 (+25 Carry Capacity)
Area Strike 10 (BALL OF PUNCH)

>> No.9633890

Well, if BoAM could make sounds somehow, he could communicate like the helping hands from that movie - labyrinth, was it?

>> No.9633899

my players once stopped a life support system on a ship to kill the alien but it took them half an hour to work out why they had died from lack of oxygen .....

>> No.9633903

I remember the giantess thread. That was a good thread. Only on /tg/ is such a thread loved and adored and not turned into an overspammed meme.

>> No.9633950

>ball of arms
You have my attention.

>> No.9633954

I don't think wallcrawling really fits

>> No.9633955


if he's a living portal to the elemental plane of arms, then i would imagine some form of regeneration would be in order, so damaged or lost limbs could be replaced

>> No.9633959

Sleipnir the Camel?

Sounds good. I'd fluff his wall-climbing as coming more from his fantastic grip than from any spiderman like sticky or clingyness.

>> No.9633984


Goddamn Hassan you are the best new meme ever.

>> No.9634005

Guys, archive this. We really need to archive this thread right now.

>> No.9634018

or the fact that everyone has grip for a small time, only before that small time is over one of his other hands is already beginning its small grip and thus sort of rolling vertically

>> No.9634019



>> No.9634020


so a new arm just appears out of the portal?

>> No.9634029

pretty much.
Since it's the elemental plane of arms, there are pretty much infinate arms

>> No.9634041

why has nobody tried to draw ball of arms man yet?

>> No.9634052

I tried, but I couldn't draw enough arms

>> No.9634059

the concentrated awesome would make any paper it was drawn on combust

>> No.9634060


Disability (Common, Major, -4) No Legs

>> No.9634074

Many have tried, all went mad in the attempt.

>> No.9634075


Don't worry. I tried computing Ball of Arms Man in Hero Lab and he broke it. Even technology pales before him.

>> No.9634090

Need 4 more requests.

>> No.9634091

What's the sound of billion hands clapping?

>> No.9634093

This thread is... gripping.

>> No.9634102

is there something that will lower the additional limbs power as he gets damaged?

>> No.9634104

4chanarchive is shit tier, it's already on sup/tg/

>> No.9634105


>> No.9634107

actually 2 billion

>> No.9634118

I imagine he could use his many fingers in conjunction to make a face on the outside of the sphere, so that he may taunt his enemies.

>> No.9634123

Ball of arms man suffers from the same affliction as the arm hydra. When an arm is lost, 2 more grow in its place. He lost ALOT of arms

>> No.9634128

A face? He could make dozens of faces. It'd be terrifying.

>> No.9634133

...and all of them armed.

>> No.9634134

He could give them a million fingers instead.

>> No.9634152

In a fantasy world, he'd be an Awakened arm hydra.

>> No.9634154

OP here

>shamelessly bump own topic
>offhand mention of joke character
>go away from internet to do Productive Activities
>come back, see thread
>feels good man

>> No.9634156

Bow down to the god of rock paper scissors

>> No.9634162

and by clapping his hands extremely fast and in different speeds it would be possible for him to sort of speak by clapping

>> No.9634169


Hell, his appearance would be enough to terrify criminals into submitting to justice. A hundred faces appear, all made from hands, all shifting and moving and caressing.

I'd imagine the madhouses are full of criminals.

"Those hands! So many hands!"

>> No.9634173

Fuck he's immortal: he can chalange death to a game of rock paper scizors and win every time

>> No.9634177

>Hundred Arms man
Bitches don't know 'bout my hecatonchieres.

>> No.9634181

They can't handle it

>> No.9634187


This link should be relevant to your interests

>> No.9634189


>> No.9634195

A hundred? Try 2 billion he could knock them all out and still play card games with all of china at the same time

>> No.9634209

makes me think some of his hands will be constantly playing rock paper scissors

>> No.9634211

Ball of Arms Man, charmed by Succubina's vile spell, starts to grope random women! Imagine what he could do!

>> No.9634218


If BAM is a hivemind of arms, then every lost and regenerated arm would change his personality slightly.

Every lost limb would effectively hurt his memory and muscle memory, as new, inexperienced arms take the place of the older and more experienced are lost.

BAM gains negative levels when he looses his limbs!

Drawing from this, BAM could even have the comic book memory loss. After being brought into the material plane he attempted to escape the labs he was imprisoned in. During the escape, he was badly wounded loosing several arms. As most of his arms have then been replaced, the memory of the labs, and who he is is terribly foggy.

BAM is wondering aimlessly, trying to remember his past, who he is, and why he is a ball of arms. He witnesses a mugging, and decides to help the blind old lady getting robed. During the subsequent battle with the muggers, some of the original arms of BAM retain the muscle memory of combat.. it feels familiar, but he cannot remember from where.

He retrieves the old blind lady's purse, and she is thankful. BAM decides to dedicate his life to the pursuit of justice, while attempting to remember his past.

>> No.9634227

>Dark Heresy game
>Guardsman takes Basic (Melta) to get a Meltagun
>Arbitrator takes Basic(Melta) just in case
>Guardsman misses session where a Meltagun is introduced
>Arbitrator uses up all the Melta ammo, blows up a Leman Russ
>Next session, Guardsman wants his experience points back for Basic(Melta) because he missed the chance to use a Meltagun, wants to take Basic(Launcher) and TELLS ME to put a Grenade Launcher in the game.

>> No.9634233

This thread is.... glorious.

>> No.9634235


>> No.9634252

This must be archived

>> No.9634268

refer to >>9634019

>> No.9634270

Guardsman player can't make demands but generally when you've got a guardsman designed to provide heavy fire support in a cell you should give him a couple of chances to cut loose with that sort of weaponry.

>> No.9634283

we need a picture of BoAM standing over the battered form of his defeated nemesis clutching a ripped off arm. The entire form looks a little less like a ball and more like an oblong slouch as the arms express their grief in a their own way at the loss of one of their own.

>> No.9634286

already is
So the backstory is
Portal to the dimensional plane of arms
Arms gained a hivemind sort of sentience
as arms are lost, so are memories
Lost a lot of arms in the escape from the labs
Hence, many memories lost
Unsure of who or what he is or how he came to be, he takes up the cause of justice for whatever reason

>> No.9634287

Gotta hand it to you /tg/, Ball of Arms Man is a solid concept.

Bravo for going out on a limb!

>> No.9634303

Couldn't some of the limbs teach other ones. I mean, we have established that they can communicate via sign language.

It'd be like an oral history of the collective only the exact opposite but the same thing

>> No.9634312


No, he's clutching this villain by the scruff of his cape. The villain is battered and has a black eye, and Ball of Arms Man is about to deliver the villain to the police.

And the villain is saying "Unhand me!"

>> No.9634314


Bonus points if the player actually learns some sign language gestures and uses it to have his own arms communicate with each other.

>> No.9634324

no no no no no think from our childhoods men the labyrinth had the tunnel of arms it got bored and hopped over here

>> No.9634331

This thread is quite handy. I will keep it in reach. Don't want it to fall out of arms reach.

>> No.9634345

Can use his arms to push himself away from things with great force, making him capable of pseudo-jumping great heights and distances.

Also, he needs to have a fetish for gloves. Can't resist something with silk along the fingers.

>> No.9634351


Themesong for the grittier Frank Miller version of BoAM?

>> No.9634355

Im DMing D&D 3.5
I start my campaign in a small colony town on the edge of dwarven territory made by people escaping the generic ominous evil empire of evil to the west.

The town itself is mostly farms with a tavern/town hall and smithy/malita armory being the actual town.

Party doesn't play, rather then complain how a community like itself lasts long enough without this and that and that and this and this and that and that and this, complaining about economics and stuff for about 3 hours, before we actually get onto playing the damn game.

>> No.9634366


I'm now imagining a telepathic villain causing some of the arms to betray each other, trying to strangle their compatriots, not realising they don't actually have necks.


No, no, a SHOE fetish. It's like the forbidden fruit for him, the thing he wants but can never have.

>> No.9634383

Let's just hope he never develops a tickling fetish, that could be fatal

>> No.9634392

Sounds like this guy's armed and dangerous.

>> No.9634397


Ball of arms man should meet crazy Hassan at least once

>> No.9634408


But with more arms.

>> No.9634416



>> No.9634420

There is no space between the arms. ONLY MORE ARMS! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>> No.9634428

inb4 hundred handed one

>> No.9634431

Master of plate spinning and origami.

>> No.9634433

oh god....the grapple checks....

>> No.9634444

Can a drawfag sketch up BAM?

>> No.9634447

Hundred Hand Palm!

>> No.9634449

In after, actually.

>> No.9634454


>> No.9634462

What about that time Ball of Arms Man joined the Army?

>> No.9634465

so when he rolls around, does he just roll over everything or skillfully roll around?

Does he climb up walls with his AWESOME TRACTION?

when he captures badguys, does he just roll them up, katamari style and take them to the police?

>> No.9634466

When a difficult task comes to him, he doesn't palm it off to someone! He knuckles down!

>> No.9634467

Grapple checks are: it works the end, try rolling 2 billion times without it working

>> No.9634473

They kicked him out. Was too expensive to provide him with enough guns.

>> No.9634483


I've seen in the gaps between the stars, between the spaces we know.



>> No.9634485


>Does he climb up walls with his AWESOME TRACTION?

I imagine it more like he's AMAZING at finding fingerholds and handgrips.

>> No.9634487

think of the deoderant costs D:

>> No.9634490

He doesn't really walk, he perpetually pinwheels.

>> No.9634495

Imagine this

BoAM+endless supply of small rocks+super strenght+throwing them all after eachother at a single target

Machine gun rock throw anyone?

>> No.9634497

Anyone still doubt that /tg/ is the best board on 4chan? (right after /d/, of course).

>> No.9634499


So basically he's a benevolent Lovecraftian horror?

>> No.9634504


They didn' t want to provide him with ARMS then?

>> No.9634524


I'd make an armed and dangerous joke, but I think that's already been made in this thread.

>> No.9634527

Not to mention a fairly sweet muscle-to-body weight ratio.

>> No.9634538

Given that he has no genitalia, can he go around publically naked?

I guess what I'm asking is if he has the right to bare arms?

>> No.9634542


Oh shit. That's his nemesis.

BoAM was pulled from the arm dimension by the portal device, and he's be come almost human in the time he's spent on Earth. But he's inadvertently acted as a becon. At weak points throughout space, more Arms are pouring through, headed for Earth. Their objective? The disarmament of all of mankind.

>> No.9634546

some arms grapple well others continue moving. you get to smash the opponent into the ground over and over :D

>> No.9634552

Dave, get off 4chan.

>> No.9634556

He`ll definitely need the Arms and Equipment Guide.

>> No.9634562

Spreading links to more areas, hoping someone will draw it.

>> No.9634571

"I want a gun that shoots lightning and shiruken"

I knew he was stealing this joke. He knew it was a joke. I knew it was a joke.

And I let him have that fuckin' gun any way.

>> No.9634577


He's like an infant of their race, simplistic and affectionate that has attached to Earth as 'home'.

In comic terms, the Coming of the Armada is like the Galactus-level threat that he has to face, and he's the Silver Surfer. He has to choose between his people and his adopted home.

>> No.9634591

I suspect he was the perfect Master At Arms?

>> No.9634603


That can also be explained by the memory loss that BAM suffered. He has no idea.

Kakarot? Who is Kakarot? My name is Ball of Arms Man!!!

>> No.9634624


Also, Goku has some good arms that might be useful to copy past into an approximation of BoAM

>> No.9634634

Someone needs to make a comic out of this....I have a feeling it'd sell pretty well

>> No.9634637


>the Coming of the Armada

The worst part is that I had to take like three looks at it to get that one.

>> No.9634647

If BAM is all arms... how does he see things? Or hear?

>> No.9634668

best thread.

>> No.9634679

He feels refracted light and sound waves through an evolved tactile sense

>> No.9634689

Tactile sight and hearing.

>> No.9634690

Not a bad steal, the robber thought to himself as he high tailed it away from the Jewelery store. Coupla rings, some necklaces. They'd make more than enough money to keep the dealer off his back.

And that's when he heard it. Echoing down the dark streets, a noise that was at once entirely alien and yet eerily familiar. The sound of hundreds of clapping, slapping and drumming noises accompanying the sound of something of immense size rolling.

Stricken with fear, the robber bolted, but it was already too late. the Whatever-it-was-and-I'm-not-gonna-look was definatley chasing him. The rolling sound got louder, the slapping sound of hand hitting pavement become louder as it pushed itself on.

"oh jesus-oh jesus-oh jesus oh-"


THe next thing the Robber remembered was tumbling. Tumbling in something while being punched everywhere. Repeatedly.

He begged the cops to take him in when he was spat out, bruised and terrified in the middle of the precinct.

>> No.9634696

Oh SHIT! Two billion armpits are a bitch to shave!

>> No.9634715

Just something to say


>> No.9634716


not when each arm can just carry a razor

>> No.9634733

What armpits, it is a portal that leads to the elemental plane of arms, there are no pits.

>> No.9634736

It's a mystery.

>> No.9634743

Oh god, the Indian Burns...

>> No.9634749

>Ball of Arms man

I've been laughing so much I same 5 times. I need a new pair of pants.

>> No.9634752

The portal to the dimension of arms... the ARM-PIT...

>> No.9634765


>> No.9634766


OOH new member of the Rogue's Gallery.

So far we have Indian Burn (possibly his Chinese compatriot?), the Armada and whatever we decided to call the guy who can rip arms off telekinetically. Disarmer?

>> No.9634779

Every arm is equiped with a sword

He starts spinning while hims arms make slashing motions...

You just pictured it happening in the middle of a group of henchmen

>> No.9634786

Does he pull people that are truly evil into the arm-pit?

Draw thread, needs a bump everynow and then.

>> No.9634801

Ironically "the disarmer" has no arms, losing them in the accident he gained him powers in. (he was present when ball of arms man came into our dimension, and some of the arm power settled into him)

as with all villains, he blames ball of arms man for this accident and swears revenge.

>> No.9634812


Maybe he sees his lost arms in the pile that is BAM, and is simply trying to pull them free!


>> No.9634837


THWACK X 1000000000000

>> No.9634839

He starts off as a tragic villain, then eventually crosses the moral event horizon when in a blind rage he kills mound of tits girl in front of him.

>> No.9634853


He drops Titmountain from the top of the Brooklyn Bridge?

>> No.9634867

This need to be archived.

How do I petition for archive?

I need to archive this.

>> No.9634880





>> No.9634886

Of course, that doesn't kill her, but triggers a face heel turn in her, about the same time it brings BoAM to the good side.

>> No.9634891

Already is

>> No.9634899


It's already up on suptg, but you can go on 4chan archive and request it by typing in the post number of OP and selecting that the thread comes from tg.

>> No.9634903

Yeah you're kind of a dick.

So? You let him get some laughs in and then he gets one-shotted by a bad guy and rolls a new character, everyone's happy and you have a funny story.

>> No.9634908

>possibly his Chinese compatriot?

You couldn't possibly be referring to... the Chinese finger trap?

>> No.9634910

I imagine him just spinning in place, every single hand making a fist.

>> No.9634922

we already know how awesome it is: read the rest of the thread

>> No.9634927

This thread has been a real slap to the face.

>> No.9634929

she blames ball of arms man for not saving her (even though she knows he couldn't) and tries to plot against him. but....being a mound of tits she doesn't make much of a threat until a writer decides to suddenly make her more dangerous and competant in a new storyline.

>> No.9634935

You are horrible at puns
you couldn't even go with "This thread has been a real knee-slapper"?

>> No.9634957

The gloves are off now.

>> No.9634967


Aren't Chinese burns a thing too? I think that's what Indian Burns are called across the pond. Chinese Finger Traps work too - I like the idea that when two hands are stuck in one, BAM becomes suddenly and inexplicably entirely powerless.

>> No.9634971

There is no escape for you now, Barr of Arms Man! Fol you see, I am...

The Dreaded Chinese Finger Trap!

>> No.9634978

This one actually psychically hurt me.

>> No.9634987

that's the problem with these threads, one person's retarded is another person's awesome

>> No.9634988

BAM occasionally dukes it out with a femme fatale known as 'Handjob' a female thief with the quickest hands in the business. Of course she's also a love interest from time to time.

>> No.9634991


Don't talk like that to me you limp-wrister. I'm not afraid to raise my hand to you.

>> No.9635000

"With high Animalism, can I instruct a swarm of mosquitoes to get me N points of Vitae per night?"

To be fair, he wasn't serious. I HOPE.

>> No.9635018


I like the idea that she's kind of a femme fatale kind of thing. All squeezing into a scarlet catsuit, but ends up just looking like some kind of swollen mosquito-stung scrotum because she's a pile of tits.

>> No.9635036

I've got to hand it to /tg/, this thread is armazing.

>> No.9635037

Fingers must take him forever to run out of fingers to count on. 242514091+242514091+242514092= damn, ran out of fingers. :D

>> No.9635041

I was present at both games, ball of arms man was going to work alongside the conquistador my 500 year old Spaniard only to have the game fall through in the end... poor ball of arms man, he was a dream that never could be.

>> No.9635048

What about mount of tits' estranged brother, ball of balls?

>> No.9635058

This thread has become entirely too silly. Off you go, then.

>> No.9635059

That was a little ham-fisted.

>> No.9635064

That guy's just nuts. People ignore him.

>> No.9635065


>ball of balls

Or his alter ego, the Ballamid?

>> No.9635071


He was a bit nuts.

>> No.9635072


Handjob is of course, merely the criminal pseudonym for Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters. High Society hostesses by day, criminals by night. Only one wears the glove of Handjob at a time though.

Thus explaining her sometimes apparently schizophrenic relationship with Ball of Arms Man.

>> No.9635079

I love the horror element of BAM

at first, the perp only hears the distant pitter-patter sound of small children running.
Slowly this noise builds into the rumble of a stampede.
But, as it draws nearer, there is something distinctly . . . . wrong . . . about the sound.

It's as if a grand audience is giving a standing ovation, and a great horde of bulls is stampeding through the street, all at the same time.

And by the time they realize what is going on, they're being punched, grabbed, pulled, poked, prodded, slapped, and otherwise manhandled all over their body all at once.

by the time they've come to their senses, they are tied up outside the front doors of the precinct, with clean white cloth glove stuffed in their mouths as a calling card.

>> No.9635089

I just imagine MoTG an BoAM getting it on. Hot, angry sex, because he's the only one capable of groping enough to get her off.

>> No.9635090


What? No, that wasn't Ball of Arms Man. That was Gyges, the animated statue of a Hekatonkhire. He's be a functional powerhouse with a few extra limbs.

Ball Of Arms Man was the next logical step in the evolution of that character, though.

>> No.9635098

Wasn't ball of arms man proposed for the magic game?

>> No.9635109

Ball of Arms Man man attack: Fooly Cooly

>> No.9635115


Like I said, BAM is basically a benevolent Lovecraftian horror-vigilante.

>> No.9635139

What would it mean if Ball of Arms Man could cast spells?

Could he cast spells for every two hands he had?

Also -how do we know he's a "man?"

>> No.9635143


His origins were, perhaps. Creating Gyges was when I realised the true power that lay in having superfluous arms.

>> No.9635153


Because he has manly arms, duh.

>> No.9635156

you are now trying to imagine what ball of hands man would look like trying to sneak around on fingertips.

like a quaking pink bush of hands...

>> No.9635158


>how do we know he's a man?

Because none of his nails are manicured.

>> No.9635166

Chokeholds...on every limb!!!

>> No.9635167

The moment you see Ball of Arms Girl, you'll notice the difference.

>> No.9635169

Could be a buff chick, please dont make me find evidence.

>> No.9635181

oh god. Never give him knuckle dusters. He'd go from dangerous to.....more dangerous!

>> No.9635183

I'd argue, that like dwarves, it'd be hard to tell. Only worse, since it's all arms either way.

>> No.9635189

My god. Imagine the inevitable issue where Ball of Arms Man goes evil.

He could strange an entire city at once!

>> No.9635190

BAM is canon in Dark Heresy


>> No.9635200


That's no ball!

>> No.9635205

Manly hands. You KNOW the difference.

>> No.9635206

I am sorry, but this is not enough arms.

>> No.9635208


Though he would have to metamagic every spell into a silent spell. Which would greatly cut down his spell casting ability. Though he could get all his spells off in a matter of seconds though.

>> No.9635217

>>Their objective? The disarmament of all of mankind.

>> No.9635218

Ball of arms man is a collection of the most muscular, hairy, developed, masculine arms you can imagine. The less handsome of his appendages might be disarming, only serves to highlight the elbow grease most of his form displays.

>> No.9635221


Imagine how many people he could flip off while doing it too!

>> No.9635247

will no drawfag knuckle down, get their hands dirty and draw ball of hands man? :(

>> No.9635252

New villain! The Nail Biter!

The analogue of the Scarecrow. The Nail Biter is a demonic illusionist who eats human fingernails. To that end, he uses his powers to cause extreme fear in people. The idea is to make them pass out with fear so he can eat their fingernails. He's been around since the birth of humanity and we evolved the 'biting nails' habit as a way to fend him off.

He sees Ball of Arms Man as a living, rolling banquet. And he shall feast...

>> No.9635287

Ball of Arms Man decides that just ol' knuckle sammiches aren't enough to subdue some of the more powerful evil doers in the city.

So, with his fortune gained by hand modeling and all the loose change he picks up while rolling around, he decides to buy roughly a ton worth of iron, and have it forged into enough "brass" knuckles to cover all his fists.

From the sound of an roaring standing ovation, to the roar of a thousand iron shod horses, Ball of Arms Man is no longer pulling his punches.

>> No.9635288


So, Ball of Arms Man is FINE for a few hundred posts, then all of a sudden becomes silly?

>> No.9635331

I am so glad this thread could be saved, so that it may be handed down through the generations.

>> No.9635332


Whose the lad
who can lend a hand
to you and justice

Whose got fists
that bend and twist
wherever evil

(Its true!)

>> No.9635339


That's when he goes through his XTREEEEM 90's Punisher phase. Normally though, he has a load of boxing gloves on so he doesn't hurt any children by accident. Piss him off, though, and off go the kid gloves.

>> No.9635359

The other day BAM got this sweet tattoo, but every time he wants to show it to someone he forgets which arm they put it on.
He's also lost a few wristwatches that way.

>> No.9635395

While BAM has some villains developed in this thread, he needs something bigger than solo foes but smaller than the dimensional invaders from the plane of his birth.

Simply, he needs mooks to punch. A faceless organization that can be put down again and again each issue.

Might I suggest "The kick line"? An evil taekwondo school posing as a broadway musical cast intent on robbing rich theater goers.

Or better yet, an evil broadway musical cast posing as a taekwondo dojo intent on robbing rich ultimate fighter fans.

Either way, wave after wave of ninjas in legwarmers using kick based combat.

>> No.9635429

He regularly gets people to comb through his arms, and gives all the lose change he's collected to charity.

He's a walking lost and found.

>> No.9635443

Please, he can just steal the Foot Clan from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

>> No.9635460


fuck, anon beat me too it
oh well, have a pic anyway

>> No.9635470


oh, please.

this is comic book physics we're talking about.

He'd buy a thousand powerfists for himself.

>> No.9635480


The things he gives back, without a doubt. But the pocket change helps supplement his income as a hand model. As a Ball of Arms, he doesn't have many living expenses, but by god, he will go through an entire years salary just going to the nail saloon once a month.

>> No.9635489

Needs a little work, but so far so good. Goooooooes sounds off.

>> No.9635521

How large is ball of arms man?
Size of a man?

>> No.9635533

I'm thinking a car, or a bit smaller.

>> No.9635589

This thread is just getting out of hand.

>> No.9635599

The average male arm is his radius, so two lengths of hand-shoulder all the way around. Possibly less since his arms wouldn't all be straight out but rather bent at the elbow somewhat.

>> No.9635602

Based on this, I would have to say at least Monster Truck sized

>> No.9635621

First Hassan and now BAM. Bless you /tg/.

>> No.9635643

All the arms would end at a central point, though. It wouldn't be arms attached to hands whose arms attach to other hands in a long chain. At max he'd be two really long arms across.

>> No.9635648


I was thinking much smaller. As if each arm was the size of a normal, incredibly buff arm.. ending at his central portal/tear to the elemental plane of arms. If each arm is about 1 meter long (3 feet), BAM's diameter would be about 2 meters across when arms are fully extended.

Though that would not be able to house a billion arms.

>> No.9635662


>> No.9635664

I've been picturing a writhing core of solid arms so that if he loses one, one of these shoots out to replace it, what lies below the core...who knows?

Also, I'd imagine his nemesis would utilize spikes, since who wants to grab a handful of pointy spikes? So like some sort of hedgehog dude with a spear maybe.

>> No.9635668

Drawfag here. I'm going in. Wish me luck. I may not return.

>> No.9635685

Exactly, I was thinking that even with normal sized arms, the portal would need to be massive to allow for over a billion arms to form a sphere.

>> No.9635688

let's give this man a big hand everyone.

>> No.9635689


Dear god man, are you mad? Who knows what torsoless blashphemy lies within the Arm Pit?

>> No.9635704

>Though that would not be able to house a billion arms.

Right. I've been imagining him several feet taller than the villains in these scenarios, so about an 8-9 foot diameter - this because the logic of having so many arms makes more sense if he's just fuckhuge.

Also he's much less lovecraftian horror if he's not ridiculous in every way.

>> No.9635716


Drawfags are our most precious resource.

>> No.9635718


Good luck brave soul. Many have tried. All have failed. Even the great sorcery of the computeratus failed in its attempts.

>> No.9635728

Good luck, May your sanity hold against the onslaught of arms.

>> No.9635738

BAM is a superhero. So he's wearing a cape.

No-one knows how he's managing this, since he has n shoulders.

>> No.9635746

I still think he should stay relatively human-sized, not having a billion arms at once. He's a portal to the elemental plane of arms, it'd be like a singularity with hands constantly shifting in and out of the core. Billions of arms, but not all at once.

>> No.9635757

This makes three amazing, archived threads in as many days. The last two were about CRAAAAAZY HASSAN. Will the thread tomorrow be the epic crossover of BAM and Hassan - they fight, and sell at reasonable prices to, crime?

>> No.9635759

He can just hold it.

>> No.9635790


He holds it, and as he moves, new hands grab onto it. So he can be rolling full tilt down a road, and his cape seems to be perfectly still.

>> No.9635792


Crazy Hassan and Ball of Arms Man would never fight.

They're BFF's.

>> No.9635817

Hassan gave Ball of arms man a brofist once.

It took him 3 weeks.

>> No.9635822


I like it. He's rolling over cars, pummelling dozens of badguys... but the cape remains in constant position. It's like it's being crowdsurfed around his body, but appears to remain in the same place.

>> No.9635829


>> No.9635833

I meant that to read as "they fight crime", but Crazy Hassan would never fight, anyone, so he sells camels at reasonable prices to crime, and BAM fights it.

>> No.9635835

He has the potential to shift them in all at once though. Punching Cthulhu in the dick would be such an occasion.

>> No.9635886


Hassan might fight someone who stole his camels, or who abuses their camels.

>> No.9635901


>Ball of Arms Man Punching Cthulhu in the Dick With a Billion Arms


>> No.9635919

The only one we had went into the great armpit already. We haven't seen him since. Don't sacrifice another!

>> No.9635943

These hands of mine are burning red!

>> No.9635993


We sent him too soon! He wasn't ready!

>> No.9636023


Guys, I think we just stumbled upon the name of his Fortress of Solitude.

>> No.9636044

What do they tell you?

>> No.9636048


No, it's more like his Omega Sanction; when a villain is too evil and dangerous to simply put in jail, BAM consigns them to the Arm Pit. This basically just involves pulling them into the arm dimension and having the arms form a cage around them.

>> No.9636051

No, the armpit is the name of the plane of arms, his original home.

>> No.9636126

Their burning grips tell me to defeat you!

>> No.9636150

I'm sorry, /tg/. I know it needs more arms, but I did what I could.

>> No.9636154

We'd never seen anything like it. It wasn't until three months from that day that people started hearing about it and I was believed.

Me and about a dozen of the boys were pulling in some heavy shit from China on the docks late one night. Nothing unusual, we'd paid off the right people and the cop on patrol was a personal mate, he had three kids and college to pay for, no need to get yourself killed for catching a few thugs. Anyways Tony had just pulled open a crate of Assault Rifles to make sure it was all there when we heard it.
"What the fuck is that noise?"
"Sounds like kids running or some shit."
"There aint no schools on the docks, dipshit."
"All of you shut the fuck up; Don, Twitchy. Go check it out."
The sound was louder, like flip-flops or barefeet running across concrete, but...more. By the time Don was at the warehouse that...that monster rolled into view. In the same instant Don was grabbed by dozens of hands as Twitchy started to scream before being--what looked like--punched. It was a ball of arms, and it didn't like what we were doing.
"Don't just stand there, shoot it!"
The boys lit it up like rednecks at a bonfire, I pulled an AK out of the crate, locked and loaded and lept onto one of the boats heading to the back where I could jump onto the next, no one noticed. I ran as fast as I could and lept to the next little sail boat, breaking my ankle in the process as I heard the screams behind me. I quietly dragged myself below deck and sat in a nasty little square of wood panel and plexi-glass "port-holes" I suppressed my heavy breathing and beating heart, it was quiet. Suddenly I felt the boat rock and shouted; "Tony, that you Tony? No fucking around, that you?"

>> No.9636198


>> No.9636199


That'll do, drawfag. You looked closer than any man before you had dared, and you came away alive and not much less saner than before. That's an accomplishment in and of itself.

>> No.9636203

This is amazing.
I like how one is smoking, how the fuck does that work?

>> No.9636216


As I said before, Drawfags are our greatest natural resource here on /tg/

Gods bless you sir.

>> No.9636225

Did anyone else immediately begin to hear the snapping from West Side Story when they saw this image or was it just me?

>> No.9636236


He just thinks it looks cool. If he really wanted nicotine, he'd have all the patches in the world slapped on him.

>> No.9636274


It's beautiful.

>> No.9636279

this....this is almost enough arms! MY GOD!

>> No.9636304


Actually I think that is almost a perfect size for BAM.

Great job drawfag.

>> No.9636328

Hands, those hands reached for me, from everywhere. I poured the entire magazine into the roof and pressed into the corner. Silence. Then I saw him. He pulled himself through that tiny door somehow and just stood there. We stayed like that for a long time before a hand started carving on the floor something then it left. It read; "Tell everyone that Ball of Arms Man is cleaning this city up."

When I got back to the dock, nothing was left, no bodies, no goods, no shell casings for Christ sake. It took me a whole two hours to drag myself to a street that had cabs(That fucking Ball must've pushed the cars into the bay). When I finally got to the boss I didn't know what to say but the truth, that was a mistake. He spent two days working me over to find out where everything had gone, I told him the same fucking story every time.
"Arms, fucking arms worked over my best boys and stole five hundred grand worth of shit without so much as a drop of fucking blood in a mile of that pier? You know what I think, I think you've lost it you fucker, I think you're trying to pull a fast one on me. I don't like that...Doc, plug him with some blood thickener and cut off his fucking arms."
"Mr. Casatori, wait! I've worked for you for my entire fucking life."
"Not anymore you don't. Throw this garbage in the dumpster."

>> No.9636336


I heard something different. I heard.


>> No.9636385

According to my estimates, he'd be just under human-sized in that pic. The bulk of his arms needs to be a good few hand's breadths bigger, then he'd be the perfect size in my mind.

>> No.9636438

Just a question. The arms seem to have just an elbow. Do they end partway in, giving way to more arms? Or do they go all the way to the center? Because extendo-arms would be fatally awesome on BAM.

>> No.9636481

It took the doc an hour to work before he had me dropped off in a dumpster downtown and left for dead, to bad for those bastards it was garbage day.
When I woke up it was a month later and I was in ICU, no name, no nothing, I was a walking dead man. Amazingly enough they'd kept the arms sort of alive and offered me a once in a million oppurtunity, they could reattach some of the nerves and use the old arms as a basis for integrated biotech, the oppurtunity to have robot arms was to good to be true, I'd always loved star wars.
It took them another two weeks before they even started and until then they plugged my nerves and remaining muscle tissue back in, exposed and lying there. All the while all I could think about was revenge, on Casatori, but after that, that monster that had started all this.

>> No.9636484

nobody knows. Somewhere in there is the portal to the plane of arms. On the outside are lots of arms. What's inbetween is unknown and no one can really ask him to stay still long enough to find out.

>> No.9636562


I enjoy this writefaggotry. Continue.

>> No.9636579

It cost me every dime I'd saved over the past twenty five years, and took three months of excruciating work but they did it. By this point there were other attacks by the Ball. He'd taken out those pricks the McLaughlins, a shit Irish gain that sold Coke.
I was getting stronger every day. I Was lifting twice what I did when my arms weren't half carbon-fiber-Titanium alloy. The skin on my arm had failed to survive the ordeal and they had to put a silicon cover over what was still there. I didn't care though, because in one weeks time, Casatori would be making another run of goods, and his place would be short on men. Then, then I would strike.

>> No.9636699

I always figured I'd have a violent retirement. So when I was released from the hospital I went to the stockyards and visited my crate. I had dozens of guns, knives, a giant battle ax(more for fun), enough cash and fake IDs that terrorists would be jealous and of course, bullet proof vests and a few other goodies.
I spent a whole day in that crate, using a table saw to cut porcelain ballistic plates into pieces to cover my arms, legs and neck. I already had a torso set with shoulder pads, groin pad and neck strap. I had a nifty ballistic face mask and helmet. By nightfall I was covered in three hundred pounds of armor, ammo and a battle ax. Casatori was going to die tonight.

>> No.9636701

These two drawfag attempts are truely glorious. Can we get one of BALL OF PUNCH in action? I imagine a meteor of fists plummeting towards the ground.

>> No.9636770


There was a request earlier for Ball of Arms man using all of his armpower to punch Cthulhu in the dick with a billion fists.

That might make a good pic.

>> No.9636821

Casatori was your typical Italian crime boss, a giant fucking house in the hills. His three guard dogs were good practice for my arms as I snapped their necks when I hopped the fence near their dog houses. As expected a few night thugs walked over to see what the noise was. I wasn't about to start shooting yet so I stood perfectly still in the middle of the yard. When their flashlights shined on me, their faces were...beautiful.
"Holy fucking shit, what is that?"
"Who are you!?"
I said nothing, I remained perfectly still.
"Is it a statue? I...shoot it."
"And wake up the boss because we shot his freaky statue, thing?"
"It looks like the dude from army of two man..."
"Was that a good ga--"
My arm was around his neck and my silenced pistol already unloaded into his partner.
"Now...how many of the boys are working tonight, if you shout, you're dead."
"Ten, ten!"
"You're lying..." I tightened my arm with the lightest of effort, unfortunately it broke his neck and killed him.
"Oh, well that...wow."
I stood there for a minute before running towards the house, drawing my ax as I did.

>> No.9636861

Is this building into some kind of BAM/Punisher crossover?

>> No.9636874

this story needs more BAM.

>> No.9636903

You know... if all the arms have their own memory and can be specialized ie: representative hand. Couldn't different arms learn different martial arts?

Like an arm that's mastered Bruce Lee's 3 inch punch, an arm that's learned muai thai, kenpo, drunken boxing (admittedly bad at it since it has no mouth to get drunk with), akido, judo, and that one hand that watched Fist of the North Star till it could actually do Hokuto Shin Ken

>> No.9637001

well I'm gonna sleep now /tg/, but bless you. You've made me laugh many times in this thread.

You deserve a big hand for your work.

>> No.9637009

The cook was already home so when I walked in and saw a man in the fridge I didn't worry about the new ax hole I just put in his back, unfortunately the entire condiments shelf did and broke with a large shatter of glass and relishes. I left the ax and jumped onto the counter next to the dinning room door. When one of the guys walked in he saw the body, me covered in armor and two .44 magnum revolvers pointed at him.
By the time the second shot was off the entire house was awake and I was halfway up the stairs shooting every dumb bastard who got in my way. I've never been one to spare the ammunition so after four henchmen I was empty and now charging down the hall strangling a guard while using him as a shield before throwing him into another then stepping on both of their skulls on my way to Casatori's room. When I opened the door I was knocked back by two rounds of buckshot in my center mass.
"Take that you fucker!"
I rose to my feet, surprised, but alright. I walked towards him, taking another two rounds of buckshot, this time to the face mask. I grabbed the shotgun and broke in half before picking him up by the neck with one arm.
"Who the fuck are you?" He said.
"I'm a dead man." I said as I pulled off my helmet. Casatori started to hiss what was probably a scream.
"You, you're..."
"Shhh, no need to worry. I'm fine, now go to sleep...you little bastard."
I stared at Casatori's face for a long while. It was sweet and I was in the moment before a flood of anger poured through me. I still had one more thing to do.
"Now Casatori, I'll prove to you that that fucking Ball of Arms Man is real, when I rip off every one of his fucking arms. Do you hear that? I'm coming for you!"

>> No.9637138


Nice way to introduce one of the key villains.


>> No.9637160

Writefag here, sorry if that was shit or anticlimactic. I just wanted to write the story of someone who lost their arms because of BAM and was then his nemesis, I call him the Dead Man.
I might try writing a story from BAM's perspective when he comes across Dead Man, but not now.

>> No.9637214

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 6 times now.

>> No.9637639

>Congrats, your request has just triggered the archival process for thread 9632490

Normally we'd save stuff like this on sup/tg/, but hey an extra archival cant hurt.

>> No.9637686

It's already on sup/tg/, but I suppose more is better.

>> No.9637722


That's what I said, only in a poorer sentence!

>> No.9638627

BoAM's power is maximum

>> No.9638806

how is this thread still going?

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