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[ERROR] No.9616369 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Beholder here.

Ask an Eye Tyrant anything.

>> No.9616373

Whats your dad like?

>> No.9616379

Will you be my friend?

>> No.9616380

Is beauty really in your eye?

>> No.9616382

I don't think you're a beholder at all.

>> No.9616391

>>9616373
Don't know. Beholders aren't that fond of children (except maybe fried). My dad ate a couple of my brothers then threw me out the lair as soon as I was born.

>> No.9616398

>>9616391
I wanna meet that dad.

>> No.9616403

Do you use your eyestalks to type?

>> No.9616415

Do you have an anus, or do you poop out of your mouth ?

>> No.9616418

Do you find it's difficult to find a job in today's economy?

>> No.9616419

>>9616379
That depends. Are you immune to Charm Person and/or Charm Monster?

>>9616380
Sure is!

>>9616382
Yeah, well I don't think you're a Beholder either. You look like a freaking Gauth.

>> No.9616420

>>9616380

More important, is the rest of the party in your stomach as well?

>> No.9616431

What are your feelings on the Arizona immigration controversy?

>> No.9616433

>>9616369

Would you make me a Beholder? Pretty, please with tyranny on top?

>> No.9616437

Hello, Beholder!

Let us say that hypothetically a Beholder were to learn, oh, Psionics.

Would said hypothetical psionic beholder be hunted down even more so by his fellow eye tyrants?

Hypothetically hunted down, of course.

Hypothetically.

>> No.9616439

How do I triforce?

>> No.9616442

¿sɟpd ʇuɐɹʎʇ'ı ǝɥʇ ʇǝb ı uɐɔ ǝɹǝɥʍ

>> No.9616450

>>9616403
Nah, I use my Telekinesis ray.

>>9616415
Beholder anatomy is pretty disgusting, even to Beholders, but if you really want to know I will tell you.

>>9616418
Actually, the financial crisis has only increased the number of adventurers seeking gold in monster lairs, so business is booming!

>> No.9616451

What have I got in my pocket?

>> No.9616458

Would you say your aggression against trespassing adventurers is a projection of your own self-loathing?

>> No.9616468

Do you have a cloaca or a penis?

>> No.9616476

How is babby formed?

>> No.9616490

What happens if a beholder has myopia?

>> No.9616492

>>9616431
I don't really pay attention to the lesser races.

>>9616433
Only the Great Mother can make Beholders. She made me, exactly as I am now!

>>9616437
Psionics? That's a pretty good idea, maybe I should learn psionics! I've never met another Beholder though, just shameless abominations copying my own perfect form.

>> No.9616513

>>9616442
In uh... in my lair. Are you delicious?

>>9616451
How am I supposed to know?

>>9616458
Sure. My TASTY self-loathing.

>>9616476
Oh, it's... it's icky.

>>9616490
Depends on which eye.

>> No.9616524

Hey Larry, wheres that book I loaned you a few weeks ago?

>> No.9616530

>>9616513
>9616442
Fine Beholder since you can't seem to understand Common,
Where can I get the I,Tyrant pdfs?

>> No.9616545

>>9616530
Don't you mean undercommon?

>> No.9616569

>>9616530
Dude, I told you! In my lair!

>>9616524
Oh, hey Tom. Man, is this awkward... I actually ate the book. Sorry.

>> No.9616579

You mostly get myopia on every eye. That's why I'm worried about beholders getting it!

>> No.9616596

What's your favorite OTHER dungeon dweller? I'm not talking about adventurers,

>> No.9616604

>>9616415
Beholders don't have a special orifice for excreting waste. They just drool it out of their mouth in a constant slimy stream.

>> No.9616608

Do you have a brother ? I know this other beholder that bears a striking resemblance to you.

>> No.9616610

>>9616569
Well then go to your fucking lair, and upload a damn viable copy before I go sunder off ALL OF YOUR EYES.

>> No.9616622

>>9616604
So, no buttfucking then ?

>> No.9616651

Do you know that Spectator from BG2? He seems like a bro.

>> No.9616664

>>9616476
Beholders are born with a sack buried in the lining of their mouth that swells after they reach a certain age. They eat ravenously when they enter the reproductive phase because eventually the sack grows so large they cannot even eat, and they retreat into their lairs during this period of vulnerability.

Eventually they eject the sack from their mouths and bite it off. From this birth-sack bursts a number of beholder infants, of which the parent will usually devour a few that it deems too different from itself and ignore the rest for a time until territoriality takes hold and it forces them out, or eats any foolish enough to remain.

>> No.9616665

>>9616579
Our eyes are all disconnected though. That would suck. I would recommend reducing the size of your lair or maybe, y'know, killing yourself because you are clearly not a true beholder and it saves me the trouble.

>>9616596
Honestly? I like goblins. Crunchy.

>>9616608
Really? Got a picture?

>>9616610
SILENCE, PATHETIC CREATURE! YOUR FLESH WILL LACK EVEN THE HONOUR OF GRACING MY TABLE!

>> No.9616714

>>9616665

>>Our eyes are all disconnected though. That would suck. I would recommend reducing the size of your lair or maybe, y'know, killing yourself because you are clearly not a true beholder and it saves me the trouble.

Thanks, I gathered +1 at Dungeoneering today!

>> No.9616797

So do you ever get double-vision?
Do you ever wish you could do that sunglasses->YEEAAAAH thing?
How do you clean your teeth?
Can you moonwalk?

>> No.9616930

Why is it that, even though you're listed in the Monster Manual, that you're not listed in any of the online SRDs I can find?
...and in the one you ARE listed in (look up "IMarvinTPA") it lists your details as "closed content republished without permission" when everything from the core books, Monster Manual included, is counted as "open game content" everywhere else?

>> No.9617433

Hi Larry, nice to meet you!

Um, what did you think of that big scandal on the news last month? Like, the one involving beholder Senator Weigert?

One of my teachers said it was "a huge blow to non-human political legitimacy" or something.

>> No.9617614

>>9616930
You need to read the OGL a little better. Things claimed as product identity (Such as "Beholder" and "Illithid," among other things) are clearly called out as being exceptions in the "everything is open content," of the license.

note: I am not a beholder, I am an Illithid.

>> No.9618158

>>9616665
>>Really? Got a picture?

Yeah, here you go

>> No.9621835

Real fucking classy, OP. Start one of these threads and let it die. Your lack of commitment disgusts me almost as much as your horrifying imperfect body. And your retarded name.

If anyone wants to ask a beholder some worthwhile questions, I'll be here. I've just eaten, so I probably won't devour you.

>> No.9621860

>>9621835
So how sharp is the sight through the little eyes, compared to the big one?

>> No.9621888

>>9621860
Every bit as sharp, but that doesn't mean I pay equal attention to every eye at every moment. My two minds will seize upon eyes and fixate upon things dependent upon the thoughts running through them. Usually there's enough to go around.

Usually.

>> No.9621906

>>9621888
Three upons! Three upons! There's some significance there, I just know it. Who else knows? I have to find out. I can take it from them then, and kill them, so they can never use it against me.

Who has more questions? WHO HAS QUESTIONS, DAMN IT!?

>> No.9621907

>>9621835

see

>>9616797

>> No.9621956

>>9621835
How do you deal with not having depth perception?

>> No.9621991

>>9621907
GRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Your questions are idiotic. I will answer them anyway. It is my choice. It amuses me.

>So do you ever get double-vision?
Only if two eyes are attempting to focus on one thing and for some reason cannot. Usually from an injury. One will automatically move away and have another take its place if it occurs. It's only logical. Idiot.

>Do you ever wish you could do that sunglasses->YEEAAAAH thing?
No. That's stupid. You're stupid. You're no good for conversation. You're food. You're a light snack.

>How do you clean your teeth?
I don't. I don't have to. My saliva is toxic even to the microbes that live in my mouth. Colonies of bacteria cannot ever develop to the point that they are able to infect any of my teeth.

>Can you moonwalk?
Do you see legs, Twinkie? That's my little name for you. A snack. That's what you pathetic creatures eat, right? Disgusting little spongy things packed with simplistic sugar paste, wrapped in the byproducts of multi-million year old putrefied corpses?

>> No.9622010

>>9621835
My eye! My Eye! the googles do nothing
curse you!

>> No.9622011

>>9621956
I have depth perception where I choose to, maggot. I have better depth perception than you, when I so choose. It depends on how many eyes I have fixed upon an object. If it's far away I can even get all eleven eyes to look upon something. Right in front of my face I can usually get at least four. My sight is better than you could ever hope to achieve.

The rays are just a bonus.

>> No.9622017

>>9617614
Ah, I see... perhaps I should have better read the OGL.
Guess my mind's not working that well for me today... got anything for that?

>> No.9622025

>>9621991
Ha! Yet another thing bipedal creatures have over beholders.
Moonwalking!

Second chuck of questions:
Have you ever wished you had a body attached to where your neck should be?
Do beholders have headbutting competitions? If not, do they play any kind of sport?
What happens if something pokes you in the eyeball?

>> No.9622100

>>9622011
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but is there love in your heart?

>> No.9622108

>>9622025
>Have you ever wished you had a body attached to where your neck should be?
Again with the stupid questions. I have a body. I have a brain to house my two minds and long lobes to store magical energy in. I have a digestive system and a circulatory system and a respiratory system. Everything I need to live.

>Do beholders have headbutting competitions? If not, do they play any kind of sport?
Our anti-magic eyes would reduce fighting with one another to idiotic fly-bys wherein we try to tear at one another with our teeth. When I'm certain that another beholder will be paying me a visit, I have a wide variety of traps in my lair to fall back on. If I can crush him with rocks or put out his great eye with something sharp then it's a simple matter to sneak up and disintegrate him.

And no, those weak and pathetic eye tyrants who fall under the sway of a hive mother do not play sports. They are slaves to her will, and she does not have time for sport.

>What happens if something pokes you in the eyeball?
I do everything I can to ensure that is suffering is prolonged for as long as I can. If I can force the creature to destroy something dear to it in its last moments, so much the better.

And of course I always have Regeneration scrolls sealed away for emergencies. Wouldn't want to accidentally drain them of magic by gazing upon them now.

>> No.9622117

>>9622011
I have a question for you good sir Beholder.
What is your stance on gay/homosexual/lesbian relationships and marriage?

>> No.9622126

>>9622100
There is blood in my heart and nothing else. Well, maybe some cholesterol. Dwarves tend to drink too much ale and get beer guts.

Love is a foolish concept latched onto by weak and pathetic creatures that must reproduce sexually. What use have I for love?

>> No.9622130

>>9622108
So are beholders like floating magic 8-balls, if I shook you around enough would you tell me my fortune?

>> No.9622161

>>9622108
i always wondered, if you get dust in one of your eyes, what do you do?
it must itch like a bitch and you have no hands to scratch it with?

Also, how do you eat, do you just float at it fast enough that you can scoop it up, or telekinesis it into your mouth, or can you use chopsticks with your brains or what?

>> No.9622173

>>9622130
Also a good question.

NEXT CHUNK

Do beholders ever have staring competetitions?
What kind of liquor do beholders like?
What's the max altitude you can float?

>> No.9622179

>>9622126
hello mr. Beholder
Which should I choose, Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3.
Theres a million dollars behind one of the 3 doors, and certain death behind the other 2.
Please don't misguide me, I trust you implicitly.

>> No.9622206

>>9622117
It doesn't affect their flavor or texture, so I don't give a levitating fuck.

>> No.9622208

>>9622126

Greetings, good and valued customer! Can Crazy Hassan interest you in a better-than-new, slightly-used camel?

>> No.9622257

>>9622130
Try it, I dare you.
>>9622161
I blink. What the fuck do you think, you idiot?
And usually I kill or charm them first and then eat them. Telekinesis can be used on the corpse if I'm feeling lazy.
>>9622173
We make a point of not interacting with one another, large quantities of whatever's available, whatever fucking altitude I want.
>>9622179
I'm going to disintegrate you now.

>> No.9622267

>>9622208
My intuitive mind tells me that killing you would be a bad idea for some reason.

Do your camels go well with sweet and sour sauce?

>> No.9622284

>>9622267

Why would you eat my camels? They are fine camels, but not for eating. I tell you what: Buy one of my camels, and I throw in a barrel of dates! Dates perfect for eating!

>> No.9622286

>>9622267
You did not just say that.
Take that back now. Right now.

>> No.9622288

>>9622267
Quick, I need your help.
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO!

>> No.9622303

1) Why are you talking to creatures you hate instead of something more productive, like plotting downfalls or watching paint dry?

2)There is not second question, you're still wasting time.

>> No.9622311

>>9622284
Listen, you sandy little such and such, if you leave your camels here I will eat them. I cannot ride them even if I wanted to. Find a different customer. They're around for some reason.

>> No.9622317

>>9622303
My intuitive mind tells me to, and I feel compelled to do so.

My rational mind realizes that if I shut the door I have dinner.

>> No.9622319

>>9622208
YOU IMPOSTOR.
YOUR TEXT IS NOT ENGAGED IN CRUSE CONTROL.

>> No.9622381

Where the hell is that snake creature anyway? And the stupid tree? And the one who vomits fire?

I can't be the only one willing to indulge the puerile mental meanderings of lesser beings.

>> No.9622435

>>9622381
>the one who vomits fire
Are you talking about me? 'Cause if so, it's acid, not fire.

...But yeah, I haven't seen the gang lately.

>> No.9622442

>>9622435

Isn't bg a fire breather when she has a breath weapon?

>> No.9622460

>>9622435
So you just vomit then. A fitting defense mechanism for so base a creature.

>> No.9622470

How's depth perception with all those eyes? Is it weird to have it shift all the time whenever they move?

Can the little eye stalks blink, or just the central one?

When you eat something, where does it go?

>> No.9622492

>>9622460
Spitting acid for defense is a fair bit more dignified than verbal diarrhea at all times.

>> No.9622496

>>9622470
PAY ATTENTION MAGGOT. I've covered the subject of depth perception before. I can blink all of my eyes, but some other (flawed) beholders cannot. And what a stupid question. When I eat something it goes to my stomach.

>> No.9622505

>>9616369
Is it true you get to argue with the DM if you're a beholdermage?

>> No.9622508

>>9622442
...I thought she was ice.

>>9622460
Sure. This is a breath weapon, though. I've been thinking of selling bottles of it, but I can't find anything that can hold the acid.

>> No.9622515

>>9622496
Oh. It must be elsewhere then. But why do you need a mouth that large? You can't possibly eat anything that would take up the whole thing, you'd be eating several times your body weight daily.

>> No.9622520

>>9622381
I see there's no love for lizardfolk in you spiel...

>> No.9622531

>>9622515
>why do you need a mouth that large
I can think of a few reasons.

>> No.9622533

>>9622492
Dignified? Ha! What do you know of dignity. You, who must cover your imperfect flesh with cloth, who must use words to bend others to your will, who must flail around like a buffoon if you hope to move about. You possess no grace, no power, no right to exist. You're a plaything here to amuse me until I tire of you, at which point you become food or dust at my pleasure.

And for the record, my primary defense mechanism is a ray of necrotic energy that kills the target instantly.

>> No.9622563

>>9622531
...

>> No.9622571

>>9622505
No. Lords of Madness makes it quite clear what must be done to play a beholder mage.
>>9622508
Of course a creature such as you would be too stupid to try alchemy-quality glass.
>>9622515
My stomach is behind and above my mouth. My mouth is so large because I eat a lot compared to a pathetic speck of nothing like yourself.
>>9622520
Love is for lesser things. Imperfect things. Things like you, maggot.

>> No.9622572

>>9622381
Snake Creature? My species has a name damn it! Lamia!

>> No.9622590

>>9622572
How fitting that the first syllable is "lame." Wahahaha!

>> No.9622598

So... "Ask a _____ anything" thread then?

>> No.9622605

>>9622590
You see, this is why you don't get invited to parties.

>> No.9622627

>>9622590
Personally I pronounce it "LAM-ia."

>> No.9622641

>>9622605
Who needs parties? There are people there. Entities that plot against me and try to steal from me or injure me or bend me to their will. Fear the other, hate the other, the other is the enemy, the other is danger and betrayal and misery and pain.

>> No.9622643

>>9622571
I have tried alchemy-quality glass.

>>9622572
Oh. Hello, me and the floating cueball were just talking about you.

>>9622590
No it isn't. It'd sound all wierd. I say it larmy-a not lamey-er.

>> No.9622695

>>9622627
I always thought it was LA-mia.

>>9622641
Well then be a grumpy-ass eyeball with no alcohol or friends.

>> No.9622698

>>9622598
Why not?
Kyle Sanders, baleful-polymorphed Dragonborn here.
Ask me anything.

>>9622641
>the other is danger and betrayal and misery and pain
Obviously you've never gotten a pizza delivered.

>> No.9622728

>>9622598
I want to try this too...
Gecko, Poison Dusk Lizardfolk here, ask me anything.

>> No.9622736

>>9622698
When the delivery boy didn't come back the first time they refused to send another one.

So I threw his car through their window and disintegrated everyone inside. Well, not everyone. I made the manager hold a big bowl in his hands and then I petrified him.

Best birdbath I ever had. Birds make great late-night snacks.

>> No.9622752

>>9622728
Why are you called poison dusk? Don't you find a warm hole to crawl into when the sun sets?

>> No.9622757

>>9622736
I bet the birds in question were "Swallows."

>> No.9622782

>>9622736
You're supposed to eat the pizza and pay the boy, not the other way around.
The pizza's the disk the guy's holding.

>> No.9622784

>>9622752
It's from our ancestry. The fleshy ones also added a menacing feel to it because they like to trespass on our grounds.
Mostly it's because the poisons we secrete kill before dusk or something sentimental.
And yes, I'd rather be underground than exposed in cold, night air.

>> No.9622793

>>9622757
Jokes that attempt to imply that I perform some sort of sexual act are fairly futile. I'm an asexual being and I already chased some little versions of me out of the lair a long time ago.

There were a few that had scales out of place or were too many color shades removed from me. I disintegrated the little fuckers rather than let such imperfection worm its way back into my body.

>> No.9622808

>>9622782
And I suppose you'll tell me next that I eat the cherry and send the sundae back?

>> No.9622822

>>9622793
>rather than let such imperfection worm its way back into my body
...Incest?

Oh, uh, Kash? I bought you some replacement Windex.

>> No.9622827

>>9622793
>There were a few that had scales out of place or were too many color shades
I hate to sound like that gnoll fella, but what you just said reminds me of my family reunion.

>> No.9622839

>>9622808
No, you eat the sundae and THEN eat the cherry. I mean, that's what I do anyway.

>> No.9622851

>>9622822
Thanks, put it in the closet.
Speaking of which I should probably clean up my monitor...

>> No.9622861

>>9622851
What did you do now, spill bong water on it?

>> No.9622876

>>9622752
Speaking of "dusk" I heard you don't sleep, ever.
What do you do during the night? What's it like not sleeping?

>> No.9622877

Magnets, how the fuck they work?

>> No.9622910

>>9622861
NO! It's just gunk and grime from having this monitor for a year and a half.
I use the Bong Water to water the plants. They need more then that, and I only use it on my private stuff, but yeah.

>> No.9622915

>>9622877
It's a miracle~

>>9622851
Probably another personal question, but how long are you anyway?

>> No.9622926

>>9622877
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnets
>>9622915
How long? Um... from the tip on my tail to the top of my head... about 10, 12 feet?

>> No.9622953

>>9622876
I can't speak for other tribes, tribes being somewhat analogous to species mind you, but my pack and most other packs of my tribe do what is most common for kreen at night. We settle down, make camp, repair weapons, preserve leftover food for later, mix medicines, talk, tell stories, practice the Way. Two of my clutchmates have taken to meditating, after seeing a kreen of another clutch doing so. They say it grants them focus and insight. I have no patience for such things, but perhaps it is because I do not follow the Way. I think I did not get those genes, though I have some blood memories of psionics. Very vague, very faint, who knows how many generations back?

>> No.9622962

>>9622926
You're shorter than I expected a Lamia to be...
Do you coil around those you hug?

>> No.9622975

>103 posts and 18 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.
Only one Paranoia Beholder? I'm ashamed of you, /tg/.

>> No.9622993

>>9622975
People tend to not give a shit, so I tend not to post them, even though I've got like a dozen that I've made.

>> No.9623016

>>9622962
I'M NOT LITTLE!

And no, not for just hugs, unless I'm close to the person.

>> No.9623027

>>9622926
Huh. Another question: Have you ever considered like a bodysock or something for the colder months?

>> No.9623057

>>9623016
No need to shout at me...its just that snakes from the home marsh usually get at least 18 feet long if not longer...
I'm just curious at why you're not as big as some of the native animals back at my home.

>> No.9623086

>>9623057
For the same reason some lizardfolk are smaller. And some kreen. And some dragonborn. I hear the desert nomads of those ones are shorter than most, and quite wiry. We don't have any of them out here, just the big bulky ones who live on the edge of the desert and trade with us sometimes. They like our art. They try to trade us theirs sometimes, but it's mostly more statues of their dragon god, and we just take the food like we usually do.

>> No.9623115

>>9623057
DON'T CALL ME TINY!
Just because my stupid sister is 20 feet...
>>9623027
I just stick inside for the colder months. I have a heater and I use it! When I HAVE to go outside I bundle up, and a bodysock would look silly. It also helps that I live in the Southwest, so it doesn't get TOO cold.

>> No.9623162

>>9623115
You seem to have some anger issues. Don't resent your female birth-clutchmate simply because she is larger. Her place differs from yours. Does she blow glass as well as you? Is she as forgiving to strangers with customs and manners that anger you?

If you're jealous of her you should purge yourself of that jealousy before it makes you lose your way. It can only cause enmity between you and yours. She's part of you, in a way.

>> No.9623176

>sigh
Nobody ever asks me questions.

Seems like eight-ball's floated off somewhere as well.

>> No.9623223

Losers, the lot of you.
Demons are the top dogs.

>> No.9623224

>>9623162
Blow Glass? OH! You mean the bongs... No, shes a goodie goodie in that regard. Doesn't smoke OR drink and got perfect grades and is already married and I DON'T WANT KIDS YET MOM!

>> No.9623256

>>9623086
Hmm...this would explain why the emerald scales are so bulky. They try to give us lip because of it too, but the last one that tried to do any thing stupid to me got his. I backwashed in my drink and swapped cups with his.

>>9623115
Ok...dang...

>> No.9623260

>>9623176
Being multiple creatures is taxing. But I'll ask you a question.

How do you cope with being such a pathetic and miserable imperfect creature? And not flying?

>> No.9623282

>>9623176
Are you free tonight?
ssshhshshhhheheh

>> No.9623288

>>9623224
Oh gods, not again.
Here, sit in the beanbag, relax, and I'll get you some hot chocolate.

>> No.9623393

>>9623224
I don't understand why you other races don't just settle dominance quickly like we do, instead of letting it fester and turn ugly like this.

The marriage thing confuses me as well. If you and your mate choose one another why does the rest of the community have to participate in the choice? Maybe it'd be easier if you tried arranged reproductive pairings like I hear some tribes of my kind do.

Of course, it's easier with us because the chosen female can lay her eggs and be led away, and then the chosen male can just mate with his female and spray on them once she's gone. The ootheca doesn't set quite as well, and that's why my tribe has never tried it, but... you know what, I'm getting into technicalities here. You are different and you have your place. It's the way of things.

>> No.9623409

>>9623224
I feel as if this is my fault somehow...
Is there something I could ...do to make it up?
Nothing embarrassing though, I said favor not slave.

>> No.9623430

>>9623288
Stupid Sharshahi. She's my YOUNGER sister for crying out loud! No one should be so... so damn perfect! And I don't even KNOW how she scored such a damn good job straight out of college... no internship or nothing!
Thank you.

>> No.9623440

>>9623260
>How do you cope with being such a pathetic and miserable imperfect creature?
Well, if you've always been what you are, you have nothing to compare it to. So you can't really tell.
>And not flying?
My brother can do this thing where he can make wings come from his back. I'm working on it!

>>9623282
Want me to headbutt you?

>> No.9623462

>>9623440
Headbutt me?
I didn't think you were into those types of games...

>> No.9623494

>>9623393
Dominance? The only dominate ones are mom and pop, and they love all of us equally so it's not like its a competition... Sharshai would probably win if it was. She wins at everything.
>>9623409
No, I'll be alright. I just get a little jealous of my sister. I love her, and all my sisters, with all my heart. But it's frustrating, being overtaken in all regards by your YOUNGER sister, when it's YOU that should be setting the example for THEM.

>> No.9623496

>>9623260
I'm not sure about Kyle, but I don't like heights.

btw hi Sharkashier and Gecko!

>> No.9623516

>>9623430
If you fear you're inadequate I think your fears are unfounded. The approval of your parent is not as important as you seem to think. If the problem persists...

Well, there was a pack member who never seemed to fit in with us. He left and went adventuring with some non-kreen and when he returned to trade stories with us it seemed he could sway with the wind once more. I suppose he is still out there, hunting for peace and happiness. I hope so. He is part of my birth-clutch and I want only good things for him.

I get the feeling that your kind are less accepting of such things. Resolution would be better than cutting ties, if that's the case. All you non-kreen like to complicate things and I'll never understand why.

>> No.9623547

>>9623462
>sees what you did there

>>9623430
Let it aaaaaaaall out.

>>9623494
>it's YOU that should be setting the example for THEM
How do you think she became so successful? She followed in her older sister's footste-
Uh, slither-marks. That's how.

>>9623496
Hey Kate.

>> No.9623565

>>9623496
You live in a tree, right? How do you stand being in one place, all the time, never moving? How do you not go insane?

>> No.9623572

>>9623496
Greetings to you too!

>>9623494
Aye...such clutch rivalry is common even amongst my clan's hatchlings. It's common to even see them biting and clawing before the adults come by. Some usually loose an eye or a finger before finally reaching adult rank amongst our elders.

>> No.9623595

glad it's too cold for many insects, reptiles up here

have enough pests on two legs, eh?

>> No.9623604

>>9623547
Following in MY steps? HA! I was a C student. I was thrilled to ever get a B.
I don't think she's ever gotten lover then a 98 on... ANYTHING.
She even managed to get her driver's license before me! Do you know how EMBRACING it is getting a ride from your YOUNGER sister in high school?
>>9623496
Hello Kate.
>>9623572
Lose an EYE? Yeah we fought when we were little, but I would never hurt her!

>> No.9623608

>>9623595
GET OUT FAGGOT

>> No.9623614

>>9623604
>EMBRACING

>> No.9623617

>>9623608
... alright, alright

goodnight, anon

>> No.9623636

>>9623604
>>9623494
Oh sis! Don't be like that!
I always DID look up to you! I'm STILL envious of how laid back and relaxed you're able to be. And out of the 8 of us, you're my kids' favorite aunt.

>> No.9623641

>>9623614
I CAN'T EVEN TYPE RIGHT DAMN IT!
Fucking hell...
>>9623636
Oh... hello sis.

>> No.9623653

Nobody says hello to me. I wonder whether I should take it personally or not.

I should probably get moving soon anyway.

>> No.9623658

>>9623604
Yes, eye. My clutch-brother lost an eye to an older clutch-brother. One of my friends lost the tip of his tail to an angry clutch-sister. It happens. I only maintained all my appendages because I attempted to think my way out of problems.
Like the time I was caught with my sister's friend. I was an inch away from getting a permanent scar across my face.
It happens.

>> No.9623677

>>9623653
You've been quiet, that's all. I thought you were observing the conversation like you usually do, or at least that I've noticed you do.

>> No.9623780

Looks like I got here just in time.

>> No.9623816

>>9623780
Yes...your timing is a bit...punctual.

>> No.9623906

This thread is getting very silly. Now behave, the lot of you.

>> No.9623965

>>9623614
>>9623604
>embracing
Incest?

>>9623906
Yes sir. Sorry sir. Won't happen again SIR.

>> No.9623972

>>9623565
I live with a tree. It's um, misconceptions everywhere, I'm not stuck.

How do you stand being without your tree? Seems it would be very cold and lonely. But you're okay, and so am I!

Hi Sharshai, what school do you go to?

>> No.9623973

>>9623965
I MEANT EMBARRASSING DAMN IT!

>> No.9623999

A man lit three candles on a certain day each year. Each candle held symbolic significance: one was for the time that had passed before he was alive; one was for the time of the his life; and one was for time that passed after he had died. Each year the man would stare and watch the candles until they had burned out.

Was the man really watching time go by in any symbolic sense?

>> No.9624034

>>9623965
What is it with you and incest? Don't mate with your birth-clutchmates, it's unnatural and leads to deformities.

>>9623972
But your tree's in one spot, forever and ever! You can't roam around! You can't hunt or seek knowledge or run and jump and see new things and trade with new people and you have no pack so you can't even split apart to find new clutches to form new packs with so you can keep genetic diversity up and and and

I'd go crazy if I were you. Maybe you're crazy already, and too crazy to realize how crazy you are.

>> No.9624046

>>9623973
Suuuure. Anyway, how are all your cousins doing? Did you invite them over?

>>9623972
Theoretically speaking, what would happen if your tree was set on fire?
Is your tree named?

>> No.9624054

>>9624034
Egad, got so worked up I forgot my pic. I need those pics, you non-kreen couldn't pronounce my name even if I told it to you, I'm sure.

>> No.9624087

>>9623972
You're stuck to a tree?
Why didn't you say so, an axe can fix that problem real qui-o wait.
...what do you eat...

>> No.9624090

>>9624046
Not today. You pervert.

>> No.9624133

>>9624034
I'm just teasing her.

>>9624090
I was just messing with you. You know I like you the most~

>>9624054
Try putting it through here: http://www.conveythis.com/translation.php

>> No.9624165

>>9624133
I'm watching you. Don't touch me. AND STAY OUT OF MY ROOM!

>> No.9624173

>>9624133
Way to play the favorites game.

>> No.9624194

>>9624165
Oh come on, I'm just messing with you. I don't go into your room, anyway.

>>9624173
>Way to play the favorites game
I'm just teasing her. What, are you jealous?

>> No.9624214

>>9624194
I have it on the highest authority that Shark swings both ways.

>> No.9624218

>>9624194
And at this rate you never will.

>> No.9624221

>>9624194
...n-no.
It's just my...innate...yes innate reaction to being second place at anything.
Yeah.

>> No.9624247

>>9624214
And who told you that?
I mean... well... WHO TOLD YOU!

>> No.9624273

>>9624214
Citation needed?

>>9624218
Don't kick a guy when he's down, man.

>>9624221
>tsun-tsun?
Oh gods I want that damn dispel scroll RIGHT NOW.
Stupid slow mail.

>> No.9624289

>>9624046
>>9624087
That's not funny. What do you think would happen?

It's not easy to kill a tree without someone noticing before you're done, especially when it's a dryad's tree. Even if I was out somewhere my neighbors would like call the cops.

Anyway, my tree is personal but my bonsai is called Oscar.

...Um, Sharkashier, Kyle.... you guys aren't allergic to cats are you?

>> No.9624295

>>9624273
Haven;t you ever noticed she almost never talks about boys?
All I've heard is that she digs asses. And she's a stoner. Once she said it was important to experiment.

>> No.9624306

>>9624273
What's a...tsun...tsun.
It's a food, right?
I'm sure it's tasty as my favorite stew at home but I'm pretty sure discussion is somewhere elseatthemoment.

>> No.9624321

>>9624289
IT WAS AN INNOCENT QUESTION!
And no, I'm not allergic. Why?

>>9624247
>my face

>> No.9624327

Mind Flayer was here.

Beholder is a subpar villain.

>> No.9624332

>>9624321
>>9624295
>>9624247
>>9624214
A Bisexual Hippy Lamia who makes a living growing and selling weed?
HOT!

>> No.9624358

>>9624214
Swings both ways?
Like a double-edged sword?
I don't get what's being said here...

>> No.9624366

>>9624358
She has sex with both men and women.
She ALSO likes to have sex with Humans, rather then just other Lamia.
I wonder what else she's slept with...

>> No.9624374

>This thread
What the fuck.

What the fuck.

>> No.9624395

>>9624327
OOH, BIG SCARY TENTACLE FACE EATS BRAINS EVERYONE WATCH OUT

OH WAIT YOU CAN BE FLANKED AND YOU HAVE NO DEFENSE AGAINST MAGIC

MAGIC LIKE DISINTEGRATION RAYS

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

GODDAMN I GOTTA GET MORE OF THE SHIT THAT WAS IN THAT BARREL I'M TRIPPING BALLS

>> No.9624396

>>9624295
I...guess...

>>9624358
It's-it's nothing. You were saying about, uh, stew?

>>9624366
Now you're just pulling that out of your ass.

>>9624374
GET OUT OF HERE STALKER

>> No.9624407

>>9624374
OH FUCK, STALIN IS HERE AND HE IS PISSED

EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

>> No.9624417

>>9624374
Speak for yourself. I had to get the building's superintendent to clear out someone who looked suspiciously like your sister from my ventilation shaft last Thursday.

>> No.9624424

>>9624366
Males...and? ...Females?!
What...I don't understand...How does she create eggs without...oh dear gods what is going on?
I'm confused...Why would someone...do that.
Please, explain?

>> No.9624432

>>9624396
Shes ADMITTED to sleeping with a Human man before! Words FROM HER!

>> No.9624438

>>9624395
Don't mind me, just taking class levels.

>> No.9624450

>>9624438
I CAN DO THAT TOO

I CAN EVEN BLIND MY GREAT EYE AND TAKE BEHOLDER MAGE LEVELS

FUCK I'M WASTED

>> No.9624451

I'm going to leave before this becomes a whirlwind of death. Do you mind if I crash here again, Kash?

G'night everyone. Don't let the beholder's steal your mentos.
...wait
THOSE WERE MY MENTOS! I KEEP THEM IN THE BARREL TO PRESERVE THEIR FRESHNESS.
THANKS, BEHOLDER GUY. YOU OWE ME A BARREL OF MENTOS.
Ggghhgh. Night.

>> No.9624452

>>9624366
You best not be calling me a whore. Because I'll have to hurt you if you are.
>>9624424
Because it feels good.
>>9624396
No... he's right.

Gods above I haven't been this embarrassed since I told my parents.

>> No.9624467

>>9624452
oh okay that's it, sleeping time now.

>> No.9624483

>>9624452
Feels good?
How does it feel good without the male if you're female, or female if you're male...

>> No.9624485

>>9624321
Can I crash at your place for a night or two? Sis is getting on my nerves, I don't want to talk to her.

Um, and I'm bringing the cat...

>> No.9624514

Nevermind... Night guys.

>> No.9624533

>>9624485
>>9624467
Are you leaving so soon?

>> No.9624563

>>9624533
It's 3:30 AM. I'm going to bed to.

>> No.9624610

>>9624563
Well...ok...
But I'm asking questions again when you come back.
I'm still befuddled by your statements.
It's not that I'm badgering, it's just that I don't get it.

>> No.9624624

ITT: Potential three-way between a Lamia, a Dryad, and a Dragonborn.
Someone must get pictures.

>> No.9624646

>>9624624
3-way?
Pfftt they can't do shit without a male in their. I don't see why people are getting all antsy.

>> No.9624657

And a cat.

>> No.9624690

>>9624646
Gecko... let me explain something to you.
Not all sex is about reproduction. Some of it is just for the joy of it. Some species have clusters of sensitive nerves that are stimulated by sex. This releases chemicals int he brain that make them happy. The Physical sensation is great too.
Also, you don't always need a dick in there to have sex. Tongues and fingers work too. Also dildos.

>> No.9624719

>>9624690

Tails, too. Delicious 12-foot long, sinuous tails.
If that's how you spell it.

>> No.9624725

>>9624690
Well of course I know recreational...stuff.
I...huh...
don't know how to word myself right now...

>> No.9624729

>>9624719
If you look sat it... Only about 8 feet of that is tail. 4 feet is the human part.

>> No.9624758

>>9624725
"Holy shit, that's a mental image to whack one off to later," I believe.

>> No.9624764

>>9624729
4 feet of human? Is she;s as small as she says... proportionally it'll be more like 3 1/2 feet.

>> No.9624821

>>9624758
...
No way. I don't need females who ...want other females.

>> No.9624858

>>9624821
Sharkashier swings both ways.
So she likes dudes as well.

>> No.9624900

>>9624858
I...ah...
hmm...
...yeah...
I just...

>> No.9624911

Man what is going on in this thread?

>>
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