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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.9523088 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I'm tired, hungry, I can't sleep, and I want a drink.
Ask a cranky Lamia anything.

>> No.9523096

Ahh, I'm sorry, but I don't deal with anything that doesn't have a God.

>> No.9523097

Name sauce?

>> No.9523099

You like gnolls?

>> No.9523106

For future reference, would you say you taste more like snakes or elves?

>> No.9523114

If I pull out your ventral scales one by one, how long until you die of infection?

>> No.9523115

How do you kill a lamia?

>> No.9523116

how hard is it to find decent clothes?

>> No.9523135



>> No.9523143

Any progress on project 'ouroboros'?
Remember, that one time when you were really drunk and you thought your tail was a nacho?
Ah, memories.

>> No.9523146

Why are nagas so much better than you?

>> No.9523147

HEY! I have a few gods!
I mean... just because I don''t worship them all the time...
I don't have anything AGAINST them, no.
Well, you little creep, I'd say more like a blend of the two, with a pinch of human.
Not bad. I can shop at most humanoid stores. All I really need are tops.

>> No.9523148


Kyle were you always a dragonborn?

>> No.9523158


>> No.9523163

So then, to clarify, those rumors I've heard about lamia flexibility are wrong?

>> No.9523175

Hi Sharkashier!

>> No.9523178


>> No.9523192

What kind of question is that? Yes.

>> No.9523198

Well, I guess because you can only have sex with women who can't hit back.
No, their true... what are you getting at?
No I'm not. I'm neutral lazy if anything.
Project what? I... was probably high at that time... refresh my memory.
Hey there, how's the cat?
I'd rather you didn't.

>> No.9523199

do you feel any rage at the preconceived notion that you are a monster race?

>> No.9523201

You really shouldn't ask...

>> No.9523214


>> No.9523247


>> No.9523248

Because I like living. There's way more weed to smoke and booze to drink and people to have sex with.
Not really. Monster Race isn't the derogatory term it used to be. Yeah there are those Silver Flame pricks, but I can still go out and get a real job, if I wanted one, and I can vote. So no biggie.

>> No.9523251

I'm growing the catnip on the other side of the garden, like you guys said! It's working... um, I think. The cat's attacking me less today.


>> No.9523258

Well, you said if you ate yourself you could break reality and become a god, so you, well, tried. And the paramedics got a great laugh out of it. Best line ever said to a cleric: "She was just trying to become Jörmungandr."

What are you two muttering about?

>> No.9523265


you are not a lamia you are a naga. Lamia are part deer or lion and carry the souls of Muslims how have killed a christian in battle to paradise.

>> No.9523268

yeah I got one, is that description about human men getting married if they stay after sex true? Also are you warm blooded or cold blooded?

>> No.9523274


>> No.9523285

How can someone meet a Lamia and hit it off with her?

>> No.9523293

What I'm getting at, dear, is that you're not fooling anyone and that you know damn well what you taste like.

>> No.9523296

tastes like basilisk.

>> No.9523297


>> No.9523298

I suppose the same way you would any women. Man that description reminds me of the Nurglettes.

>> No.9523303

Didn't see you there, Kate.
I forget, are you deciduous?

Four words: High core body temperature.

>> No.9523307

The same way you hit it off with anyone else. Not many non-humans in your town? That sucks.

>> No.9523309

Greek lamia may have snake tail, The defining trait however is that she eats children and is female.

>> No.9523325

That's how it was way back when in the "Old Country." Some traditionalists still act like that, but me? I like a good lay too much to marry the first guy to show me a good time.
And a little of both, as to your second question. We can SURVIVE on our own body temperature, but we're much more active and comfortable in warmer environments.
Chill out. Drink this and smoke this.
Well first off, TALK TO HER DAMN IT! You wont get anywhere if you don't open your mouth. Second, once you get to know her, ask her out. I like drinking and dancing myself. Movies are also good, but make sure its a nice theater, slithering through gum SUCKS!
And just be yourself. If you are compatible, then OH WELL. Plenty more out there.

>> No.9523326

no none. Stupid ancient wards set before colonization.

>> No.9523327

Well, at least they consider your race to actually be sentient. Speaking of which, how do Lamia feel about Warforged?

>> No.9523333

So are you warm or cold blooded?

I can't really which is which since Lamias and Gorgons, or similiar sister races have both humanoid and serpentine features.

>> No.9523344

Yeah, that's a bonus, defiantly.
I don't mind them. I wouldn't date one, but that's just because they're too cold for me. Just more people. Sucks I can't sell anything to them though.

>> No.9523366

That's some good stuff. What was it?

>> No.9523367

Yeah, I can be um... slow during those months.

So what's up Kyle?

>> No.9523375

Gorgons turn people into stone or have some other similar gaze powers, wouldn't want to date girl who might kill me unintentionally. By the way, where does the lamia tail start, at waist, below the waist or where?

>> No.9523378

Oh. What do you think about paladins and the whole burning with the inner light of justice thing?

>> No.9523383


I don't know, I was aware of your magicial gender change, and I just thought you had been a human git or soemthing.

>> No.9523387

It's nothing to be ashamed of, dear. All you damn bony races are lucky. You've got soft squishy parts to rub against that are a part of your own body, so they go everywhere with you. You know how many soft, squishy things there are in the desert?

Here's a hint: cacti and tumbleweeds are not soft and squishy.

>> No.9523397

I'm also, er, answering questions.
Baneful polymorphed Dragonborn, ask me stuff.

Well, she did ouroboros once.
How DO you taste, Kash?

>> No.9523399

Do you like to coil up when you sleep? or do you prefer to spoon with a warm blooded partner?
Ah, little one. Hows the new body working out for you?

>> No.9523420


who before baleful polymorph was a dragonborn?

Do you ever have people go up and rub your belly?

>> No.9523441

Homegrown Chronic and some Malibu Coconut Rum.
see >>9523325
If they're like the Silver Flame fundies, then fuck them, but I've met a few OK paladins in my time. Only a few.
Mine starts at what would be your lower wait, mid hip.
Hey there sicko, most Lamia come from the desert.
When Alone I like to coil under a heatlamp. When I'm with someone... well now that depends on what their into. I love cuddling.

>> No.9523450

Not much. Decided to take up sorceror-ing, if only for the obvious reason.

>I just thought you had been a human git or soemthing
What? No. I've always been a Dragonborn.

Scales protect you from the spikes suprisingly well, actually.

Nobody touches the belly.

>> No.9523461

>I love cuddling.
I heard that snakes (the animal) are strong. so have you ever broken the bones of anyone during... The act?

>> No.9523466

Have you ever secretly lusted after a pair of really sexy boots or shoes?

>> No.9523486

what in the world is going on here...

>> No.9523496

Sicko? I'm just stating facts. Facts such as the fat content of your body, and how tender your muscles are, and whether your scales have a high enough protein content to be worth what it must take to digest it, and...

Sorry, it's been a bad year for the pack. Do you have a goat or something that you don't need anymore? I've got some of those shiny things you weirdos seem to like so much.

>> No.9523498


>> No.9523500

I have better muscle control then that. I COULD if I wanted to but no.
... I HAVE left some really nasty bruises a few times.
Uh... no? I've never had need of shoes. And as for snakeskin boots and the like?
Have YOU ever lusted over monkeys or their hair?

>> No.9523502



>> No.9523507

Where is your...funpouch?

>> No.9523516

Paladin here, perhaps a trade could be made with my town? We offer your pack beasts to feed on and you keep the other insects from our crops?

>> No.9523529


the bass... its glorious!

>> No.9523533

Don't ask. She's in one of those moods that those crazy mammals always seem to get into. She doesn't act much like a snake.

At least with reptile folk you can always count on them being grumpy. Anyone squishier and it's a goddamn crap shoot.

>> No.9523539


Good lord. I've not seen you around for a while.

Was starting to wonder if someone had made a coat out of you.

Happy to see I was wrong.

>> No.9523540




0:30 do it, feel more manly.

>> No.9523541

No, I live in the warp, if I want something it just appears. I actually hate monkeys, and mon-kei but thats another story, hair on slaanesh demons is usually icky, so no on that field. I just wondered if you had ever admired the craftsmanship and wondered what it would be like to put them on.

>> No.9523547

How do you like my name?

>> No.9523548


>> No.9523564


we have are ways...

>> No.9523577

That's not a name, it's an adjective.

And you stole it from me.

>> No.9523589


>> No.9523596

Original character do not steal drama?

>> No.9523603

Eh, I was around the other night. Do... do people still DO that?
Hey, I like your taste in music. A bit too heavy for every day listening, but good.
Not without dinner and a drink first, and I have to like you.
But no, it's in the normal place. Just takes a few muscle twitches and a little shifting... well you get the idea.
Bite me you little chitinous pervert. And no, I don't mean that literally. Get something out of the fridge if you're so hungry.
OH, well when you put it that way...
Yeah, sometimes I do wonder what feet are like, but generally I like my body.

>> No.9523613

do you like a fine wine or do you prefer the hard liquors?

>> No.9523615


Wait wait.....

I don't know how deal with this.


*Greeting, fellows, this is a prototype warforged. He isn't very smart, and he tends to forgot his name and give himself simple names for things he wishes he could experience.

Please don't make him crash.

It makes him murderuous.


I kinda blanked out there....

what happened?

>> No.9523619

Learn anything cool yet?

>> No.9523631


Humm. Have you not been keeping up with the news?

There have been a few....issues...with the Silver Flame of late. There was a raid on one of the higher up's houses, and, well, such things were found. Wolfman coat, lamina skin boots, that sort of thing. About the only thing they were missing was something from a dragon, and there was a space for that.

Of course, it was just an "isolated crazy", and not representative of the rest of them.

>> No.9523633

I'll have you know I'm seven feet tall and that for the record you're the one who does it, I just pointed it out.

You should get some breathmints, by the way.

>> No.9523634

OH Liquor! Defiantly! Most Lamia like the light stuff, but not me. Mixed drinks are good too.
See what I mean? I mean, what use would THIS guy get out of any of my product? Bongs and pipes, no use to him.

>> No.9523652

>glorius spelling failure

>> No.9523658

Man, makes me think of how terrible it must be to not be able to swap out your parts. Modularity is awesome!

>> No.9523661


Do they make noises when you hit them against things?

Oh, I forgot, I have no money.

Hungery.... Poor.

*attempts to cry, but only makes prerecorded crying noises.

>> No.9523670

About that, some of my clutchmates wanted me to tell you that you need to offer some smaller mouthpieces with your mini-hookahs.

It's impossible to get any suction through spiracles with them.

>> No.9523671

Personally due to a high con score I prefer the harder stuff myself.

I wonder if a paladin of a concept like Justice would fall from use of your product.

>> No.9523681



>> No.9523683


>> No.9523691


>> No.9523692

Hotbox like civilized people.

>> No.9523696


As long as you did not hurt anyone, I can't see why.

There are a few compelling arguments, in fact, that the non-legality of the items in question is in fact, an intrusion on your own liberty.

>> No.9523707


You look familiar....

>> No.9523713

Sweet, another Warforged!
Oh... looks like you could have used a little more time in the creation forge.

>> No.9523723

I know how to set someone's nads on fire from ten feet away.


Vodka. Puts the fire in your belly, so to speak.

>> No.9523726

Where the fuck am I going to get a car? Your stupid laws make it that I can't open a line of credit until I'm in the last years of my life.

I mean, if she just made brownies or something we'd be in business.

Why would I want to die? Then I'd be no help to my clutchmates. I'm all stringy and tough, no good to eat, so I can't even help them that way.

>> No.9523729

Well the reason I ponder this is twofold. First, the local authority is considering legalization and second, the war on drugs as it is called is an unjust war that disproportionately targets the middle and lower class and encourages violence and trafficking in less developed nations. Its... been on my mind lately.

>> No.9523731

Please do. Hell, I will even find some clarified butter, and a crab bib if you need it.

>> No.9523732

The FUCK you say, hardskin?

>> No.9523733

Tell them I'll look into it. A happy customer is a repeat customer.
Sick Bastards. At least most of them just march around yelling. It's good to live in civilized society.
Chill man, chill. is it the end of the world? Were you able to understand my meaning? Besides, I use Firefox Spellchecker.
No man, it's natural. I don't add any of that other crap. I mean... I won't bullshit you. You're still breathing smoke into your lungs, but its healthier then cigars.

>> No.9523743


Yes. Just don't roll any ones.

>> No.9523747

Neat! Um, you haven't tried it on anyone, have you?

>> No.9523752


I don't remember that......

I don't remember much.

wait, what's my name again?


Dragon lady upset?


>> No.9523755

Is purple a normal hair color for your kind?
Did you trade for that jewelry, or do your people forge their own weapons?
Do all of your kind have rattlesnake tails, or are there variations such as Cobra hoods or the stockier bodies of anacondas?

On that note, are you venomous?

>> No.9523774


Forgot one, can you hypnotize?

>> No.9523778


I'm not particualry worried for myself, as, well, there are advantages to being able to mimic a human form. the only issue is I show hot on thermals, but, even then, it would take something that could drop a tank to really bother me. Most people lack that.


Frankly, legitimization and taxation would starve the cartels of a LARGE part of their income. As well as providing for the country. It's less worse then smoking a cigar, as my laminan compatriot said. Also, she's not one to be funding harder drug users, you can trust her on that.


Setting people on fire is a good start. Be sure you use it responsibly.

>> No.9523779

Brownies? Hell, I have a pan in the oven now. And you can hotbox in a bathroom or other small room. Just put a towel at the bottom of the door.
Nah, I dye my hair. I'm naturally dirty blond.
We do a lot of trade, but we make our own stuff too.
All kinds, depending on were you're from. Kind alike how humans have different color skin. This is my cousin, she's from a more tropical family.

>> No.9523786

I think it might have been... no wait... he works a bit differently... hmm "Worry" maybe?

>> No.9523788

No, not yet.
...Are you volunteering? Because it sounds like you're volun-teeering~

>dragon lady upset
DragonBORN. There's a difference! And no, just worried about insane Warforged running around killing things.

>> No.9523803

I said you're cranky, like a human child who doesn't get his way, and that's when you've just had a meal and found a big rock to lie around on. I guess you don't get enough lying around done while it's dark like the other lazy folk do.

Great One forbid we want to do any hunting near your territory while you're molting (or was it "shedding?"). Then you'd think the Apocalypse has begun, from the way you carry on.

>> No.9523828

Exactly how many topless pics of your "cousin" do you have on your computer?

>> No.9523830

Crap, forgot your other question.
No I'm not venomous myself, but I have a cousin with fangs and a mild venom. And I like to mix a bit of rattler venom in hot sauce.
And no, no hypnotizing. However, that flute trick sometimes works. Especially when I'm high... that flute is fucking fascinating.
Hey, now I know you kind molt as well! How do YOU like it?

>> No.9523839


Odd that my name was Hungry when it was really Worry



Dragon ladyBORN?

Am I saying it right? Besides, if(subject==scaly with breath weapon){subject= dragon;} no?

>> No.9523840

>nomadic insect-like person with a limited grasp of the concept of property

You're being surprisingly polite, given the previous offense you took to my words.

>> No.9523841

>legitimization and taxation would starve the cartels of a LARGE part of their income.

Which is why it will never happen. Unfortunately we find ourselves at the mercy of our elected officials. But you've sold me.

Are all members of your species this lovely? or is it just a family trait.

>> No.9523849

I think you'll be okay as long as you don't get aggressive with him, like the vermin over there.

>> No.9523868


Legal affairs become a fascination when you are long lived. It's that or go utterly insane from the boredom. I'm glad I could aid you in making a choice.

>> No.9523869

Oh yeah, because it's totally acceptable for types like you to just randomly assume that you can say things as the such.
You're totally perfect, no flaws here whatsoever eyup eyup eyup.
Just remember who reigns supreme in the natural food chain before I give my Kobold friends a new set of armor and weapons.
Hint, hint.

>> No.9523870

Have you ever had problems with were-mongooses?

>> No.9523875

If you were to have children, would they gestate in your human bit or your snake bit?
How many births are normal for you species?, IE single, twins, or brood?
I don't mean to get personal, I am just curious.

>> No.9523878

Painful and uncomfortable. But the hunt goes on. Complaining scares away the prey.

Also, we stop doing it once we grow up. You never seem to.

>> No.9523881

Oh! Oh, they were talking about this in Alchemy 101. Uh..

if(subject==scaly with breath weapon bipedal){subject= dragonborn;}

Uh, personal question. Does your top bit molt as well?

>> No.9523882


I'm bored.


Want to play warforged pong?

>> No.9523892


I'm almost afraid to ask.

How does this work?

>> No.9523899



Want to play dragonborn pong?

>> No.9523912



I don't know the rules....

what classification are you?

catgirl? resacaknal...... I mean extra-evil devas?

>> No.9523914

Sure why not?

uhh... been around meat people for too long, care to refresh me on the rules?

>> No.9523920

You shouldn't have asked.

>> No.9523921

I have a lot of cousins...
I'm too laid back to stay mad. besides, wen you aren't being creepy you're alright.
Aw, how sweet! you're just trying to get into my shawl, aren't you? But really, there are all kinds of Lamia, just like any other humanoid.
We lay eggs. And I have 4 sisters from the same clutch as me. That's normal. Most Lamia only have one or two clutches.
Yes. That bastard keeps his music WAY too loud at night, and I've complained about it to the landlady I don't know how many times!
Mostly the bottom bits, but I peel like CRAZY when I get sunburns.

>> No.9523933



*if(nobody knows rules of warfroged pong){banana; chocolate; everclear;}

Does anyone have a paddle?

Worry mem=shitty.

>> No.9523935

Er... seems friendly, perhaps you should narrow your search terms a bit more.

>> No.9523938


Draconis Noblis. The name is a handle for identification, I tend to keep what I am...to myself, although since we are sharing, it's only prudent.

>> No.9523944


Ah, dragon then.


>> No.9523969

>Mostly the bottom bits
Because I needed some for my alchemy homework. Do you mind if I take some scales next time you mo-
>notices picture
You'll, uh, have to introduce me to your, uh, cousins sometime.
If you'll excuse me.
>staunches nosebleed

>> No.9523972


...do I hit things with it? I CAN take a human shape, for ease. It makes moving around the town much easier then it might otherwise be.

>> No.9523973

Just wondering...

Hey um, last time Sharkashier made a thread, somebody asked me a stack of questions about us dryads. I was REALLY busy then, but I can answer any now if you guys want?

Nothing creepy please, okay?

>> No.9523975

Dragon? Huh...
I'm Warpinus Causus Parodoxicus.
Tzeentch named me that himself.

>> No.9523989


Well, as we are sharing....

You may direct questions at me, as well.

Not just her, of course, anyone may.

>> No.9523990

I'll never understand this "creepy" thing. Facts are facts. Why bury them under sentimentalism? Sentiment is for mourning or mating or teaching the nymphs. Not for practicalities of life.

For the record, I wanted to know if you tasted good because if you do we'd like to try and avoid you during dry spells, just like we do with the elves who keep that little oasis in the center of the desert. It does the tribe no good to cultivate a bad reputation with the other races. We prefer our mutual hunts to be done with price and value, not weapons.

Besides, if it comes down to it there's always the unpleasant task of hunting down errant packs that are heedless of common sense.

>> No.9523991


By the logic of that... I = Biff?



*points to wooden bits of himself.

*points to wooden dryad.

>> No.9523997

>two clutches
Only two a lifetime?!
By the gods...that's sad.
How many eggs per clutch?

>> No.9523998

Err... Isn't it considered strange among you meat people to possess unclothed photos of your siblings?

>> No.9524003


A fitting name, for what I understand of the Knights.

>> No.9524018

Greater longevity = fewer children, as a rule.

10 kids is more than most humans ever have.

>> No.9524025

Can you unhinge your jaw?

Do you ever get Vore requests?

>> No.9524030

I'm a knight of Sigmar! By the light of sigmar! Although he doesn't seem to like non-humanoids.... same with the Emperor... I've tried convincing sigmar to change his mind....

>> No.9524034

What's your favorite book?

Or play, or story, if you're not into reading.

>> No.9524036

I thought you were just some crazy hobo in warpspace. How did you end up "warp infused" anyway?

>> No.9524038

I thought lamia (plural?) had more children than that...eh...

>> No.9524049

>Draconis Noblis
>my face

I have one!
Uh, do you have a tree you have to stay near or is that just made up?

Ooh, ooh! I can unhinge my jaw.
But I don't get any, er, requests.

>> No.9524051


>> No.9524056

I hope not. We'd probably be eating them then because otherwise they'd overrun everything else quickly. And we'd hate to make prey of them, because they make such lovely jewelry, and prey don't like to trade.

Can't walk by an elf without getting a dirty look as it is.

>> No.9524059


The grey knights are untouched by the warp, for the most part.

Your name translates roughly to Warp that causes Paradox.

An amusing play on words.

>> No.9524066





*As the warforged shuts down, a recording plays "This prototype is sleeping. Please don't bother it."

>> No.9524068

Between 3 and 7. And I said MOST. My Grandma had 7 clutches.
If we kept reproducing like that we would never be able to sustain ourselves. Since my... I guess you would hall it 'clan', came from the desert, having too many kids was bad.
Heh, she's the one that's into gnolls.
I CAN, but it hurts like hell and I have no need to. I can chew after all.
And no. Because I don't hang around that sort of crowd.
Favorite book? The 1 Chong, by Tommy Chong.

>> No.9524077


And that reason is why I tend to keep it to myself.

>> No.9524080

Them Elves are always something unkind, aren't they?
Always toting around, pretending to dance when walking and acting like they own the place because they're Elves.
I never will get Elves.
But...it -is- always nice to see an Elf and Dwarf meet if I say so myself.

>> No.9524089

No, mommy is our creation forge, I don't think the nature creature is really qualified to answer questions about us artifical life-forms.

>> No.9524093

My lady, I would never presume such. And as you yourself said, dinner and a movie first?

>> No.9524104


>Heh, she's the one that's into gnolls.

Ah. Is it possible for lamina to cross-breed, or is it just humans and dragons that can do that?

I always forget that one, for some gods forsaken reason.

>> No.9524134


There he is!

Sorry about that.

I lost track of B155.

The warning for "breaking" him is a bit .... much.

Out of about 10,000 times of him "crashing" he only went on a rampage 10 times, and only managed to kill a puppy on of those times.

*takes B155 off stage.

>> No.9524140

So, do you have any unclothed pictures of your siblings? I'm still trying to figure out this love thing, meat people seem so content when they're experiencing it.

>> No.9524146

You know, I asked an elf one time if he thought bees liked the fact that they steal their honey. And that a whole bunch of them can die trying to drive them away. He said no. I asked him if he was still going to eat honey. He said yes. He asked me how that was relevant. I asked him if it was his fault that the bees made their honey taste so good.

That just made him mad again. I think he missed the point of what I was saying. I didn't stick around to find out whether that was the case because when they get angry they're... spicy.

I love peppers.

>> No.9524151

Well, her smaller cousin likes girls, so it was probably a present.

>> No.9524158

As far as I know, no we can't. Unless Magic is involved, but magic takes the laws of nature and physics out to the woodshed and beats them.
That doesn't stop us from having a good time with other species, if you know what I mean. But some Lamia, the more traditional, think that intercourse with other species is revolting. My Grandparents were like that.
HA! Bold. I like that.

>> No.9524160

My friend, Love is like the sun. In its presence we are warmed, in its absence we are chilled.

>> No.9524164


I'm going to go sleep before I haemorrhage.
Can I crash in your living room again, Kash?

>> No.9524171


It depends on the race.

lamina tend to be freer about that sort of thing, as do some sub-races of elves. Baseline humanity has issues about it, as do minotaurs.

>> No.9524174

Likes girls?
I thought your reproduction required a male and a female?

>> No.9524175

Demons can do it as well, but most rather we did not.
I find the process to be unsatisfactory, I have no desire to leave a string of bastards behind me. Any nurturing impulse I have is reserved for my younger sisters.

>> No.9524178

Aren't minotaurs all-male, and don't they reproduce by raping human females?

>> No.9524181

Everyone asks that, Kyle.

Only hamadryads are stuck, I can't go too far from my tree, but there's ways around that. Ever seen a dryad carrying a bonsai tree? Geeze, I thought it was obvious.

Gives me migraines but, so I like mostly just stay home and chat online when I'm not at school.

>> No.9524183

Hmmm. True. I thought I was a grey knight for a while... turns out I'm a spirit attached to a grey knights armor. Still don't know WHOSE spirit exactly... I'm not really Daemon material.
I'm artificial yet I think I feel love. Maybe. Not sure. Is it that feeling you get when nurglings are playing inside you?

>> No.9524188

What kind of movie do you enjoy? Comedy? Romance? Do you secretly get pumped up for a good high energy action flick?

>> No.9524190

So, love is how your meat bodies generate heat?

>> No.9524193

Love is that thing you feel for the God-Emperor, or possibly for your armor. It's the opposite of hate.

>> No.9524194


Yes, I'm well aquatinted with magic, as it IS a corner-stone of my own existence. If she needs some help with that, I'd gladly give some aid, free of charge, for members of your family.

>> No.9524199

Unless your body can feel physical pleasure, any explanation I give is going to be pointless.

>> No.9524208

This reminds me of the time an Elf decided to flaunt her new alligator-skin belt and sword-sheath.
Needless to say, no one back home liked the feng shui of my new Elf-skin rug...

>> No.9524211

In the basest sense, yes. quite a bit of heat will be generated.

>> No.9524220

Sure, it's as open as always.
A good shag is always nice too.
It does, but sometimes you can love a member of the same sex... and sometimes that love extends to the bedroom.
I like action movies... but I'm secretly a sucker for Romantic comedies. Well... the FUNNY ones at least. Regular Comedy is good too, watched the Blues Brothers earlier today.
Its an Emotion. It's... damn, it's like explaining Blue to a blind man...

>> No.9524222


Standard reproduction does.

There is always the recourse of magic, bastardization of reality as it is.

However, there is more to love then just reproduction, and not everyone wishes to spawn.

>> No.9524235

Are you an alligator? A stupid animal that has its place and purpose but is still just a stupid animal whom no-one should mourn when it dies?

This is what I was telling you before. You're all ornery and disagreeable and you've got nothing worth trading anyway.

>> No.9524244



Where in the world did you hear that?

It's clearly wrong, of course. Have you never looked online? Female Minotaurs are a growing fetish niche.

>> No.9524249

... The Emperor is a cool enough dude but I think his rules are too harsh! And while I do like my armor I don't really need it to live... just my helmet. Tzeentch is my favorite god followed by Sigmar! Sigmar is like the Emperor but he lets more non-humans be on his side.
Hmmm. Hippopotami. Damn elves.

>> No.9524260


ah, true. Any being made mostly from Mana can spawn almost across the board with other races. my mistake for over-looking you, however.

>> No.9524266

Blues Brothers is a classic. Tis unfortunate that there has been a lack of good comedy films as of late, romantic or otherwise.

>> No.9524267

A little practical application of magic can be used to resolve either one of these situations. In the latter, a simple Cure Blindness (possibly Regeneration) would suffice, and in the former, a Polymorph that lasts long enough for you to demonstrate it to him directly.

Magic doesn't mess with reality, it just... pushes things into a different order for a bit. When it goes away reality snaps back into place none the worse for wear.

>> No.9524275

I know enough to respect my own kind.
Or were you just blowing random factoids at a non-caring elf, for destroying a bee hive, just to show off your knowledge?
I don't know why you're always trying to push my buttons here, but I'm starting to lose patience.

>> No.9524278

"Hey, guise! I gotta question about [tabletop game]!"

>0 replies, thread 404's

"Let's post our ideas for [roleplaying system] stories. I'll start..."

>3 replies, thread 404's

Drunken Lamia shit thread.

>180 posts and 48 image replies omitted

I hate every single fucking one of you.

>> No.9524288


Hmm... I guess it suffices to say this is a kind of programming I have no analogue for.

>> No.9524289



>> No.9524290


Depends on how good you are at, to use your example, fooling it. Reality, I mean.

There are various ways to defend against it catching on, although they take far more prep-work then just will-working normally, would.

>> No.9524295

Quit crying over spoiled milk like a spoiled mammal.

>> No.9524307

roleplaying on the roleplaying board sounds terrible.

>> No.9524313

I'll pass that along, but she wanted to adopt a... what was it... OH YEAH! She wanted to adopt a lizardfolk kid. Don't ask me why.
Love you too.
There have been a few good movies lately. I liked The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus.

>> No.9524317

WHAT HO SPACE SHARK! What is a fellow space marine doing here? And I was most certainly not trying to steal anything.

>> No.9524319

You're missing the point, too. He was acting like an animal, not a person, refusing to understand that the reason my people have, in the past, eaten their kind, is that they're so fucking delicious, and that his begrudging me for that fact was about as logical as the bees hating his kind for not wanting to drink their boiled leaf soup plain.

I mean, we have an understanding amongst our own people. It's better not to eat them, because it makes them hate us and it makes their friends hate us. There hasn't been an incident in generations, and the last time it happened we made a show of the punishment because we wanted them to know that we don't approve. I just wanted some new waterskins for the journey north to where we laid our eggs and he was giving me attitude.

>> No.9524332


Well, it applys to anyone in your family. Always glad to help family of friends.

>> No.9524341

Prejudice exists to make petty people feel good about being petty. No-one else you could have acquired waterskins from?

>> No.9524347


>> No.9524348

Well boys and girls, I;m sleepy and my heatlamp is all warmed up.
See ya next time. Night all.

>> No.9524360

Night Sharkashier!

>> No.9524364

I pinch!

>> No.9524371

Er, well, you see, his stall smelled really good. Um, really really good. And the waterskins were there, and and well, the halfling's skins were all small and we need a lot of water and you see oh my look at my wrist it's time to leave.

>> No.9524378

How do you feel about your cousins of the sea?

>> No.9524385

>is all warmed up.
>See ya next time. Night all.

Goodnight, Milady. Until our paths cross again.

>> No.9524386

Sounds like a bad lay-member to a adventuring group...
That raises the fog around what you said, but still...kinda coming off as aggressive there. And I'll tell ya, to seem in any way aggressive to me is a freaking miracle. It takes a lot to get under my skin...unless you're a scale mite...
I just don't like it when the "normal" ones, as they call themselves, show off trappings of something that resembles my species. I don't get it... if they want to wear scale-skin why don't they just undergo a ritual instead of harming a random animal for no reason?

>> No.9524392

Right, before I go.
They're fine by me.

>> No.9524398

And people ask me why I don't trust boats and steer clear of the ocean.
Oh ho.

>> No.9524400

Go ahead and try it tough guy!

>> No.9524404

Non-sentients don't have rights.
And they are tasty.

>> No.9524406

Good night. Sleep tight. Try not to crush your bedwarmer.

>> No.9524407

Why do Dragonborn hate dragons so much?

>> No.9524409

You got those mixed up.

>> No.9524421

But she had a reason. She needed a belt. She needed to protect her weapon.

And I don't plan on going on any adventures. In my experience it's just the strange ones who want to go out and do that. Ones who daydream on the hunt, or talk to the wind, or stay off by themselves instead of joining in the conversation and the work when we make camp for the night.

Ones who do... very strange things with their non-kreen clutchmates. I think it's better that they leave, now that I think about it.

>> No.9524434

I stay away from large bodies of water because they're so damn scary. Just one misplaced step away from an agonizing death. The thought of weird adventuring kreen subjecting themselves to magic that lets them suck water into their spiracles and live... makes me twitch.

>> No.9524437

Blame Tzeentch.

Strange? Strange how? It has been said that "strange" is merely an opportunity one has not availed oneself of yet.

>> No.9524444

I just don't understand it. I mean, I know the letter-markings, I know what the words mean, but what they say doesn't make sense. Even if she were gravid...

This makes me uncomfortable. There's no memories in my blood to account for it. Can we talk about something else?

>> No.9524445


I have no idea.

It's not like we created them as a slave race, or anything. At least, as far as I know, we did not.

>> No.9524448

Adventuring has it's pluses.
Aren't your types curious about the world and it's inhabitants? I'm constantly on the go due to my curiosities and bring back a little part of wherever I go to my home clan to show and inform.
However, I would rather not go "north," I -greatly- dislike "north." I tried to bring something back from there and it disappeared completely. No idea what that fluffy stuff was but it made me achy and tired.
What did you mean by "very strange things"...?
Eeeehhhssscchhhhh...forget I asked, sorry about that one there.

>> No.9524450

Maybe I did maybe I didn't.... okay I did.
But Tzeentch is such a swell guy!

>> No.9524462

Sure. There's no guarantee any one person will adjust to any one new idea quickly.

Do thri-kreen play sports?

>> No.9524491

Nymphs posture and dance about in the manner of our most ancient ancestors, and children play games where they try to hunt and outsmart one another. Sometimes the adults join in to teach them important lessons. What is in the blood is not fully in the mind, and some things must be lived to be understood.

Also the humans have this thing called tetherball. It's no fun to play against them because we always win, but whenever we stop to trade we always find time to play. It's good for the children, too.

>> No.9524514

I mean, I guess the mind can seek out things in another mind, and the ones who leave are different enough to...

No, this is a joke. Mammals like to make those more than we do. It's a joke. They're laughing at us. It's not real at all. Strange behavior, but I suppose they are clever monkeys after all.

Er, no offense to any humans around. Or orcs.

>> No.9524533

trollplaying shitpost reported

>> No.9524539

And you're a spirit in a suit of armour. Tzeentch do that to you?

Are there any sports played professionally?

>> No.9524566

A joke?
I don't think anything's funny...why would something laugh at me for going out exploring?
You seem irritated at mammals...needless to say I never was on par with them, but still why are you letting them get to you?
Was it something witnessed or just bad ties early on? I'm not saying that I'm concerned or anything, I'm just saying that because I'm curious as to the change in your speech when their topic comes up.

>> No.9524571

No. There's no time. There's the hunt. Maybe tohr-kreen have the time to do it since they've abandoned the long hunt and raise their food.

Speaking of the hunt, I most move on. Sorry.

>> No.9524574

Just read the story, rough-skin. You'll see.

>> No.9524591

Oh eecchh...
I feel like such a salamander right now...

>> No.9524592

What colour are you?

>> No.9524604

Dunno. He says he doesn't know himself.... but its likely he does he just doesn't like the answer. Just kind of woke up one day in the warp with only vague recollections of everything.

>> No.9524640

You know he's a pathological liar, don't you? And he thinks it makes him clever. Honestly, if you want a REAL chaos god, what's wrong with Thanatar? Pocharngo? Even Ikadz the Torturer?

>> No.9524657


>> No.9524660

I was told they're all scrubs. And Tzeentch is totally NOT a pathological liar. He is my best friend. He even gave me a context sensitive everlasting pile of books from his personal library as a gift!

>> No.9524661


I'm a western dragon, if that's what you mean. It's not qualified as D&D might make you think, although my scaling is a mix of red and black.

>> No.9524692

*sigh* Nevermind. I leave you with this: "None are so blind as those that will not see."

Does colouration mean anything to western dragons?

>> No.9524700

The blind will not see, because they are blind.

>> No.9524703

Sounds silly. And like something Tzeentch might say.
Dragons are made for riding! Or chasing.

>> No.9524719


>> No.9524729

Next question: Ever polymorphed yourself into a dragon of the opposite sex to get laid?

>> No.9524733


Not really. It's about the same as skin or hair. Amusingly, black translates roughly into the white skin-tone for commonality, while the red highlights are roughly translations into red hair.

>> No.9524748

Soooo... you're a redhead? Hmm.
Did you get picked on at dragon school for that?

>> No.9524752


Humm. A few times, although if I'm with a girl that's into that kind of thing, it's more expedient to just go the futa route.

>> No.9524767

Red is a nice color. Just look at Khornette. Also. Ew.

>> No.9524770

Uh, next question: What's in your hoard?

>> No.9524786


Dragon-school. That would be a nightmare.

No, it was nothing like that. There's no stigma attached to it. For the most part, there are none like that, outside of some rivalry between the feathered serpents and the eastern, but, outside of that, it's calm.

It HAS to be, as there are not that many of us, and each one has considerable power.

>> No.9524798


Me? I've got some gold, to keep up the appearances, but, most of it is in stocks and bonds.

It's far more efficient, and a lot harder to steal. I must admit, I am FOND of the internet.

>> No.9524807

Also, why did you make the Dragonborn?
And why didn't you put killswitches in them?

>> No.9524819

>I am FOND of the internet.
Makes it easier to strike conversations with random strangers?
Do you shift to human form when surfing the 'net? Type REALLY CAREFULLY? Or have you got yourself a custom keyboard that can handle whacking great claws?

>> No.9524820




I have a distaste for manipulation of a race like that, myself, and will be less then pleased if I find it's true.

>> No.9524824

And how do you get internet in a cave? And don't give me 'oh it's sattelite' minotaur feces, because I live behind a hill and the reception's shit.

>> No.9524835


Human form. It's the simplest, and it's not like I'm much more vulnerable like that, due to the combination of random placement, and magic.

I must admit some fondness for the body like this, as well. It's much easier to feed, and get drunk.

>> No.9524849


Cables, of course. When you have been around since before the city that gets built, you can have some sway in how utilities get laid.

Also, the cave is not an all the time thing. I own a house. A few of them, really, although I let people use the ones I'm not. I detest those "buy a house, live in it one day a year" types.

>> No.9524857

>more partners
>global industrial capabilities geared towards humans
>Tim Tams

>> No.9524864

Have you ever ouroborosed?
Can you moonwalk without the aid of magic?
Can you weld with your breath weapon?

>> No.9524865

Seeing as this is still up, should we just call these threads "tavern" threads or some bullshit?
Seems like /tg/ likes this roleplaying vent.

>> No.9524884


And now I'm hungry. Damnit, man.

But, yes, you see the pros of it. Many of the older ones don't. Big, scaly bastards.

>> No.9524895


No, I can't moonwalk WITH magic, and, it takes some working at it, but, yes, you can.

>> No.9524899

Giving something a name makes it a focus of hate here, it seems.
That being said, I thought these were 'X Y here, ask me anything' threads.

>> No.9524901


I like the idea. Sure, works for me.

>> No.9524904

>And now I'm hungry.

>Tim Tams

I'ma... gonna go away now. Away away. Far, far away.

>> No.9524909

yeah...but this is 4chan, trolls/hate/whatever are everywhere.
I'm pretty sure if it's kept to a single thread no one minds much. It's when there's 3x of suchnsuch thread on the frontpage where people begin to rage endlessly.

>> No.9524914

Hurr, I meant could YOU do it. And I can, so I can officially say I have one up on a dragon.
...On the dancefloor, at least.

>> No.9524927

Lamia, if you're still awake, tell me a bedtime story.

>> No.9524937


>Tim Tams

>Tim Tams are a chocolate biscuit made by Arnott's Biscuits, Australia. A Tim Tam is composed of two layers of chocolate malted biscuit, separated by a light chocolate cream filling, and coated in a thin layer of textured chocolate.

That's goddamn tasty and you know it.

>> No.9524948


Yes, yes. Snicker behind your sleeve. "White" dragons can't dance.

Har har.

>> No.9524952

What incentive does that give people to post?
"TAVERN THREAD" doesn't have the same interest as 'WARFORGED HERE, ASK ME ANYTHING" or whatever. You can answer questions and RP at the same time, plus non-RPers enjoy it too, then.

>> No.9524954

I know, and I'm out, so I'm going down to the store to get some. It's far 'cause my cars in the shop so I have to walk. Woe is me.
Also, so MANY varieties! Choosing would be so stressful, so maybe I'll pick up a packet of each.

>> No.9524955


Go read Pretty Lamia.

>> No.9524987

Can't jump, either.

>> No.9525006


Wings. No need for jump.

>> No.9525029

Have you ever heard of parkour?
And you are now realizing that if the floor was acid, you would be stuffed due to not being able jump.
Trolling aside:
Ever eaten someone/thing whole?

>> No.9525031

You're just saying that because you can't jump.

>> No.9525067

DO you lay eggs or have live young?

>> No.9525084


Once, although they WERE trying to kill me at the time, and I was only 50 years old and panicked.

And I can do parkour in human body, it's a bit harder to do if you weigh a ton. Stuff tends to break.


Hate you. So much.

>> No.9525091


Eggs, if in dragon form, but, CAN carry children inside when in other forms.

>> No.9525112

You make me a sad animate suit of armor!

>> No.9525118

I sense a story behind this statement. Please elaborate.
Also, is it true that if you can climb inside a dragon's ear you can stick your hands in its brain and control it like a puppet?
Or are the elves just dicking with me again?

>> No.9525167


That....what!? No! damn elves.

Let's see..humm. It was like....I want to say 300 years ago. I had just settled into my own cave, and was napping. I wake up tied down, with this big bastard of a man trying to pry my neck-scales up, so he could, I don't know, chop my head off or something. Crowd of people around. I go into panic mode, and it turns out that the ropes are thick, but not THAT thick. He comes at me with this big ass ax, and I chomp him without thinking. The crowd panics, and I had to hall ass out of there.

>> No.9525208

Do you have any magical crap lying around that I could use to get back at the elves?
More elven lies, probably, but if you put peanut butter on the roof of a dragon's mouth, will it become submissive and docile?

>> No.9525244


Humm. I do like peanut butter, although it does not render me helpless.

There's no real way to get back at them, although you can try tricking them back.

>> No.9525251

If you withhold their Tim Tams they become submissive and docile.

>> No.9525260

Dragon, what is your stance on giant robots. Apparently a warlord said that to talk to dragons you should use them to not be eaten.

>> No.9525265

With the help of delicious wierd draconic magical items?

Also, will rubbing your belly put you to sleep?

>> No.9525270

I think your elven friend must have seen one of my higher tech things, or a strange Aura Battler!

>> No.9525301


it might....belly rubbings are nice.


How large are we talking? Iron man, or Gurren Lagann?


*shakes fist in impotent rage*

>> No.9525329

I could mail some to you, I guess. One shipping container be enough, or would you like two?

Hmm. Tim Tam Thickshake. Might try that one, with Baileys.

>> No.9525340

Is it true that female dragons prefer paladins?

Well done of course with holandase sauce on the side, and served over wild rice.

>> No.9525341

>rubby rubby
I'm running out of questions.
Uh...How much would a female elf Polymorph cost? I want to troll the crap out of that pointy-eared twat.

>> No.9525344

I have acquired one of these, at 18 meters I was told I should be able to talk to dragons as an equal. Apparently it has strange familiars, to use this world's terminology..

>> No.9525477


Humm. I can't do it for free...but, for say, a two day spell....40 bucks.


Really, it just depends on who you want to talk to. Just be polite, and there likely will be no issue.


I have only ever eaten the one guy!

But, as friends, paladins can be veery nice people. Some are a bit over the top about some things, though.


Nah, although thank you. I'll have some acquired.

>> No.9526417

((I don't see why they need to be called anything, they're easy enough to recognize.

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