/tg/ - Traditional Games

Dammit /tg/

stop jizzing on the elves.

Fuck you, elf. Back to the bedroom and get lubed up.

What is this knife-ear doing not working. Get back to work, bitch.

He can't help it. You just look like another rare parrot to be shagged by him.

>>9156334

I see floors that still need scrubbing, elf. Get to it, or I'll have you and your mother thrown off the estate.

>>9156397
Protecting that rapist parrot, again? I thought we talked about this.

>>9156397
He can't help it. You just look like another pedestrian out after dark to be shagged by him.

>>9156334
What? I need to practice my swordsmanship. That wall had it coming!

shut up you little blond haired shit, the dolfie > you

>>9156401
source

It's what we do.

>>9156587

Poor sammich.

What's an apologize? Is it something you do with your fist? If so, I'll apologize right now if the little bitch doesn't get back to work.

QUIT YER BLUBBERIN' AN GET out ' ... mah fort...

>.>

<.<

*hugs*, c'mon, quit yer cryin.... we'll get ye on the next caravan when yer parents ... come back next season...

>>9157687

DAWWWWWW

Must now be drawfagged.

>>9157687
By then you'll have flooded the outside with lava.

She, and all her family, will burn.

>>9157748
... Well I'm never gonna live this down, am I?

>>9157798

And when she realizes what you did to her whole familiy she'll murder you in your sleep, and keep your corpse as a trophy.
So, technically, you could.

no

>>9157779
So long as they don't start making ridiculous demands... Like last time they set a limit on the trees we could cut down so we ki- *looks at wee elf* LET THEM GO HOME UNHARMED.

Hey, wench, my boots need cleaning.
And do you know how a person cleans my boots?
BY FUCKING LICKING THEM
LICK MY BOOTS, YOU ACCURSED ELF

>>9157849
there are worse fates.

Go on. Flap those ears. FLAP THOSE EARS, BITCH.

>>9156334
might as well post sauce on that animu

>>9157930

saging in a shit thread

>>9157849

Thus creating her first legendary artifact, and sealing her place in dorfy society forever.

>>9157948
YOU ARE NOW MORALLY REQUIRED TO CARE FOR IT

But it's cool, you can teach her the ways of the dorf and pray she doesn't find out about the HORRIBLE things you have done to her race.

>>9157849
I didn't pull that lever, I just came up outa the mine and found this 'un in the food stocks... Damn it, now I actually feel bad about it! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!

>>9158003
Bah! Ill teach 'er engraving! She 'll be no bloddy tanne- ARMOK DAMN IT!!! NOW I'M ALL ATTACHED TO THE THING!!!

>>9158062

Just think of her as a tamed wild animal.

One that gives all the boy-dorfs very weird fealings in their +=giant cave spider silk trousers=+.

>>9156334
........
*Hugs elf and pats her on head*

Dont worry lass all will be well.

*Picks up wee elf girl and takes her into Fort to be raised by Dorfs*

>>9158037
Thats it! She'll be a wee, girly, Cacame!

Hey don't look at me, I'm from /co/

>>9157971
This is why dorfs and humans don't exterminate elves once and for all.

>>9158125
Your a wee bit late to the party there McReadthethread.

>>9158109

Dammit if I don't like cute elf girls who become epic elf warroirs of dorf training.

Why is that healing blob wearing skin?

Bah, knives first, questions never.

>>9156334
So... Whats yer name then?

Raise the wee elf girl to be a beer swilling,badass, mining warrior dorf.

When she grows up and gets married to promising young dorf lad, Urist Helmbeard

You walk her down the aisle on her wedding day.

She leans down hugs you and calls you father.

You feel a manly dorf tear fall down your cheek and down your beard.

I won't let my actions be held to her childish emotions and fancies.

>>9158212
Helmbeard? The Clerks whelp? Damnit!!! DAMNIT!! I Jus agreed te raid it donna go doin that te me!!!

>>9158372

Do you want a better title?

>>9158372
> I Just agreed to raise it don't go doing that to me!!!

Just realized how illegible my ramblings were... Damn it /tg/ why the hell did you need to do this to me?

All right, might as well feed the poor little twerp.

Here ye go! A decent meal, meat free to boot! I figured you probably couldn't stomach it yet.... Here, got you some well water to wash it down.

>>9158372
Urist von Derpendorf?

>>9158433
I apologize, I'm under a wee bit 'o stress recently.

Someone added a new masterwork carving to the secondary entrance corridor. It shows a dwarf and an elf, surrounded by dwarves.

The dwarf is raising the elf.

The dwarves are laughing.

>>9158467
*Smacks Fellow Dorf*

How do you expect the Wee Elf Lassie to grow if you feed her so little?

*Puts down tray full of roasted rat with ketchup,potatoes,dwarf bread,tankerds of beer and some greens down*

Eat up lassie! After this I'm going to show you how to mine like a Proper Dwarf!

>>9158531
Oh Armok what have I done to myself?

Well, there goes the live it down option, might as well make the best of it.

Finish up you meal, your going to learn what I do round here...

>>9158531
You dont have to be small to be a dorf.
Being a Dorf is a cultural thing.

Any Dorf that doesnt think this wee elf lass couldnt grow up to become the best damndest dwarf in the Freehold will have his neck meet my axe.

>>9158559
Oi! If ye feed 'er any booze 'er liver 'll pop out and plead for mercy! Plus, thats my food Armok damn it!

>>9158611
Thank you! I am going to teach her my craft like my da did with me, and his with him, and she is going to be the best damn engraver this fortress has ever seen!

>>9158615
She needs it more then you! Ya lummox!

*Takes Tankerd of beer and replaces it with a tiny cup with a bendy straw filled with honey beer*

There! *Grins* She'll enjoy that if my name isnt Bjorn Stronginthefist

>>9158682
Engraver?
BAH!
I'm training her to be a Miner and a Warrior.

Years later, she grows up to be Queen of the dwarves, ends up in a SomethingAwful LP and goes insane.

>>9158710

Oafson Niggeringcomment here

Actually. it's Kindastronginthefist.

You haven't become a masteful puacher yet.

>>9158710
Thanks fer that, I'm no cook.

>>9158752
*Punchs threw obsidian wall*
It's always been Stronginthefist ya weak fisted git!

>>9158738
Ive no argument wi the mining! But shes goin ta be an engraver first an foremost, just like every Zondakost before her, back to the Mountianhomes! We Zondakosts 'ave always been an' always will be engravers!

>>9158798
>threw

Now, what's goin' on here? I might'a lost my eyes to them kobolds...but I hear a dispute 'bout a young lass here!

Now, I don't care which one of 'ya's the father, but she's gettin' raised proper. Now Urist, teach 'er t' engrave till 'er hands are rough 'nough to mine and fight! Then teach 'er how things work here in the fort!

>>9158831
Zondakost? What makes you think she'll want to be a Zondakost?

>>9158841
Aye sir! I'll do just that, sir!

>>9158865

Hey, it's better then Stronginthefist.

Who would want to be a member of a newname linage.

I know I don't.

>>9158841
But Lawgiver! We both found her! She should carry both traditions of Zondakost and Stronginthefist!

>>9158891
My family helped found this Dwarfhold!
I should have expected a Niggeringcomment wouldnt know how to read the runes of our Holds History.

>>9158974

Sorry, its 1 AM, I can read.

I'll show 'er te bed then we can continue this discussion...

C'mon lass! Ye can have my bed, Ill take the floor. But don't get too comfy, Ill have ye a bed o' yer own made tomorrow.

>>9158974
I can make her a proper Dorf Bed.
*Starts turning lump of obsidian into bed-frame*

Wheres the Dorfen Matress Maker?

>>9158896
Are you sure those are Plump Helmets yer eatin an not some other shroom? I found her!

>>9159044
You been putting red-caps in your beer again? We both found her.
We were argueing on the finer points Dorf Pugalism when we found her.

>>9159115
Says the one tryan te make a stone bed!

>>9159215
I said I was making a frame ya git! I need to go talk with Snorri Sleepsinstone to make a proper sleeping matress. Maybe some pillows and a few stuffed critters to keep her company.

>>9159233
Ye make beds from wood ye... wait.. stuffed animals might be a decent idea...

((http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Bed))

>>9159270
*Scowls* well I can make a bedframe outta stone.

ITT: DORFS AND ELF RELATIONS ARE REPAIRED AT LAST.

>>9159309
I doubt it considerin we burnt tha last caravan an' her (looks about then whispers) parents, te a nice crisp.

What's OP's pic from?

>>9159415
Id actually rather like to know that.

>>9159382
*Coughs* We need to get that looked at.

>>9159502
Oh bugger, that we do!

>>9159415
>>9159450
Sacred Blacksmith

>>9159527
Thank you sah!

>>9159527
That'll do.

So... we can blame this on a "Defense malfunction" for a while, but what do we do if they come back?

>>9159907
They feel into a lake of molten hot magma.
I dont think they're coming back.

>>9159907
A: We pumped pressurized magma onto 'em B: I was referring to the Elves in general, not the crunchy warm ones.

>>9159984
Beast from the Forgotten Heights has attacked many and driven them into EERIE MOODs? Shapeshifters? Kobolds in disguises?

>>9159984

Blame it on Communism. Or maybe humans. We humans tend to be pricks and looked down lowly upon anyway.

>>9160051
We could blame anyone really, Humans is one option, gobbos is ano- Thats the ticket!! Gobbos! Then some idiot pulled the lever while the caravan was still in range.

>>9159936
Bjorn? What do ye think? Blame it on the gobbos?

Bjorn?

((So, if none does it, i feel i may need to draw up some of this myself.......))