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[ERROR] No.9121122 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

So, I am back with more tales of Victus Khan (original thread http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9079059/) because apparently /tg/ is full of sadists that wish to hear about my pain. These events all happened maybe three or four months ago.

Last I left you with the tale of the first encounter I had with Victus Khan. Well, after that... 'adventure', we let the Dark Heresy campaign take a backseat to a few other one-off D&D and WoD adventures. Eventually we returned to Dark Heresy, and some time into it REDACTED thought it was a good idea to go once more into the breach with his experimentation with prescription drugs. SPEED and Critical Damage charts, a wwwwonderful combination.

>> No.9121139

OH GOD YES

/popcorn

>> No.9121145

So prior to the drug-experimentation, the few adventures after the first with Victus Khan (in the guise of Arbitrator Tinko, simple-but-well-intentioned Adeptus Arbites) go relatively uneventfully- though as time wears on it becomes increasingly obvious that he has no idea what he is doing. The other characters of our group begin to see him as a sort-of lucky charm; he's strong, he's got "authority", and he always seems to have a little bit of luck on his side. Then one day a Psyker joins our group. To recap, Victus Khan is, despite his disguise, a Psy-Rating 2 Daemonic "Hellspawn" mutant Adept with a Ravaged Body and an Int of 12. In plain speak, this means he is an "unremarkable" Chaos-touched mentally retarded rogue psyker-Adept. He thinks he's "blessed by the Emperor." Others would, most likely, disagree.

There was one particular moment of note where he tardraged and killed a Commissar for calling him stupid. He got a way with it because the commissar turned out to be a mutant who had been orchestrating the black market trade between an Imperial legion and the local criminal elements. He got a commendation from the local Arbites out of the whole thing.

So now the Psyker has been through an adventure or two and REDACTED is already a bit jittery. The mission at hand is an investigation of a Death World camp which went derelict very recently. Victus Khan/Tinko is patrolling the site, showing off his astounding Perception of 24 (which has not advanced whatsoever in the intervening 2500 XP, which was apparently all spent on Blather advances, training for his "fun zap stick", and random fellowship/melee advances).

>> No.9121168

>>9121145

The Psyker, Savant Militant Quint, begins using Psyniscience to check for any Psyker sign or left over memories. Yeah, 2+2= VICTUS KHAN IS EMANATING DAEMONPSYKERJUICE LIKE WOAH. Psyker freaks the fuck out, not quite able to tell if it's someone trying to control Victus or if it is just him. Victus Khan notices the Psyker screaming and doing his "IT IS A GOOD PAIN" schtick, immediately rolls a Common Lore (Imperium) test (which he succeeds at with 0 degrees), and thinks PSYKER GOING DAEMONHOST. So he begins to beats him to death on the spot. Swift Attack shock maul helps in this endeavor. The Psyker player, the former corrupt Arbites from the first adventure, is a bit dumbfounded on what to do at this moment. As I have said before, REDACTED is a bit of a chud.

So the death-screams of the Psyker attract not only the attention of the other members of the group but also the local fauna- the location being a Death World, this takes the form of a corpse-strewn Enormous-sized xenos. As the other members close in, the critically-damaged Psyker spends his only fate point to survive the beating. First thing he does? Manifests "Flash Bang". Rolls a 9. Psychic Phenomena. Rolls a 75. Perils of the Warp. Rolls a 92. Daemonhost. His overall score against possession was 32. He rolled a 42. Answer of Life, the Universe, and Everything... and also the answer to why Victus Khan is a total chud. Psyker gone Daemonhost. This adventure went from 0 to bullshit in about two turns. However, because he was at 0 Wounds, the Psyker-Daemonhost is also at 0 Wounds. The Flash-Bang goes off. Victus manages to avoid being blinded.

>> No.9121190

>>9121168

We all arrived in the Chimera to see Tinko (Victus motherfucking Khan) standing over a savagely beaten goat-headed monster which is thrashing at him in an attempt to bite off his bollocks. At the same moment, the smell the Daemonhost gives off (of corpses) causes the xenos deathworld creature to go completely bugnuts and attack immediately, plucking the corpse-smell Daemonhost out from under Victus Khan and swallowing it whole. Needless to say, the party is flabbergasted by this turn of events. Victus Khan runs off crying, because "dead people ate my friend!" I, as the party Cleric, exhort the others to fight like they never have before, while the Guardsman picks up Victus and drags him into the back of the Chimera.

So, the deathworld creature appears to not have enjoyed its meal- it is thrashing around like a heretic forced to swallow hot coals. The gunner chooses this time to fire multi-laser on the thing. It appears mostly ineffectual other than burning off some of the corpses. We high-tail it out. Victus blubbers that the poor Psyker turned out to be a witch. The entire vehicle rocks and suddenly flips, tossing everybody about. Victus fails his Agility test. His disguise gets torn in the tumble, and we all get an eyeful of whitie-mc-daemonpants.

>> No.9121208

>>9121190

The Guardsman fails his Fear test by 8 degrees, rolls a 21 and faints dead away. The Scum, our driver, fails only by one degree, but he rolls a 60 and is frozen in terror. The Gunner doesn't notice, he's too busy dealing with OH GOD THE CORPSEWORM THE SIZE OF A HOUSE. I notice, succeed on my Willpower test, and I immediately train a flamer on him. He was next to the now-thrown-open hatch of the Chimera, I figured it would be fine. He rolls to Blather and fails. I FLAME ON. He takes little-to-no damage and then Spasm's me, throwing me onto the floor and then out the back hatch of the Chimera. I spend my last faint point not to break my neck; Thankfully, the deathworld worm-thing appears to have been in its death throes and I tumble onto its soft, corpse-covered exterior. I get to my feet and start to try to follow after the Chimera (or at least figure out my way back to the rendezvous site).

While I'm trundling through Deathworld Bumfuck Egypt, Victus slows down the Chimera, moves the Scum into a locker and locks it, and then ties the Guardsman securely to the floor "to make sure he doesn't fall out.". Then the gunner comes down from his placing to see what the commotion is about. Victus yells FORGET ME and knocks him out, shoving him in another locker.

Victus feels bad about this, apparently. He turns around to pick me up, because I "Was fun to play faces with". I should mention, once again, Victus Khan is not the most... high in Agility. I see a Chimera headed towards me. He critically fails his Drive test, hitting a random root in the jungle while going at extremely fast speeds. Suddenly, I see a Chimera roll five times- before crushing me underneath its weight with 34 damage. Oh cruel fate. Oh Victus Khan.

>> No.9121227

>>9121208
this is glorious.

>> No.9121230

Batman doesn't use guns

>> No.9121234

>>9121208

Epilogue of this story, sort-of:

Victus Khan later went back to the camp site "to look for his missing friend" (me). He finds my ID and prayerbook in some of my stuff which was thrown free of the collision, and while looking through the camp site he also discovers a small cache of dataslates which detail the valuable research we had been sent to recover. The gunner, the Scum, and the Guardsman survived the entire endeavor, and all fail to remember the events correctly- everything past seeing the deathworld creature is a blur. The lost camp site is blamed on the xenos creature, Savant Militant Quint, Arbitrator Tinko are both listed as KIA, and Priest Mercado alienates all of his congregation by savagely beating one of them who appeared to start "speaking in tongues".

And that is the story of how Victus Khan ran me over with a Chimera and stole my name.

Victus fucking Khan.

>> No.9121333

>>9121234

So I've got two choices for the next story I could tell you folks. Either I can skip a bit on to the end of Victus Khan's game history, or I can go to the interesting time that he dealt with an entire Inquisitorial mission by going on a very long and passionate rant about the deeds and legendary skills of Spez Ultrimaroon, Elite Throne Agent.

Pic somewhat related.

>> No.9121353

>>9121333

Alternatively I can try retelling this tale at another time- 6 AM /tg/ was never known for its attentiveness.

>> No.9121358

>>9121333
This story was awesome OP, but maybe you should save the next one for a busier time. I want Spez Ultramaroon though.

>> No.9121546

I want it all OP, all the stories. Save it so you can repost later if you have to.

>> No.9121549

Oh goodness this is great.

I can't wait to see Victus Khan in one of FFG's supplements.

You know it's going to happen.

>> No.9122285

bump for victus

>> No.9122472

>>9121333
Well this is perfect, I just finished watching way of the gun as well.

I vote for Spez Ultrimaroon, we can archive the thread for posterity if you're worried about no one finding out. In fact, I feel like I should archive this thread except it's too small right now. We need to beef it out with stuff.

>> No.9123226

You know, at least Victus is an interesting chud. Reminds me of "The Pretender" except grim, dark and retarded... er.
Why am I thinking of muppets when I try to picture Khan?

>> No.9124022

i want ALL the stories of Victus Motherfucking Khan!

HAIL VICTUS! HAIL KHAN! HAIL VICTUS MOTHERFUCKING KHAN!

HERO OF THE IMPERIUM/CHAOS!

>> No.9124401 [DELETED] 

bump for Khan

>> No.9124504

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would get along quite well with Nihilius and Fumbles. Nihilius is a triple mutant from character creation aswell and he appears to have Fumbles round about luck. (Fumbles also caused a psyker to daemonhost on complete accident.)

>> No.9124560

Holy fuck, OP.

Alpharius demands MORE

>> No.9124924

I love you story-man.

>> No.9125482

>>9124504
>Nihilius and Fumbles

can one of you gentle men link me to threads about these two by any chance?

>> No.9126371 [DELETED] 

bump for khan

>> No.9126803

Need moar about VICTUS MOTHERFUCKING KAHN

>> No.9126895

Khan is obviously Chaos Undivided's true champion. Abbadon has nothing on him.

>> No.9127020

Bump for VICTUS KHAN

>> No.9129034

bump for khan

>> No.9130162

Sounds like the GM was doing everything in his power to make sure things went the right way for Victus Khan. That's some Grendel-level bullshitting there.

>> No.9131510

bump for victus KHAAAAAAAAN

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