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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.9007238 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Nobody is immune to Chaos. Everybody who visits /tg/ is tainted by one Chaos God or other. All that we ever do is pay lip service to the Imperium.

As proof, I offer this picture of Cultist-Chan, who will be capturing all of your posts for kay-oss (seeing as this thread is most likely going to get 150+ replies before you all lose interest and go worship some other aspect of Chaos).

>> No.9007262


>> No.9007268

I don't even bother paying lip service to the Imperium.
I'm an open Chaosfag.

>> No.9007275

>Implying I don't already worship Slaanesh of my own volition

>> No.9007285

>all caps

Obvious Khornate influence.

>> No.9007297


>> No.9007326

The Lord of Battle approves of your bloodthirsty ways, as does the Lord of Change approve of your devious and underhanded interpretation of the Codex Astartes to maintain an effective strength of around 6,000 in a single chapter.

>> No.9007329

>Implying all fa/tg/uys aren't all either soulless nulls and immune to chaos or followers of Nurgle, whether willing or not, with the way we waste away infront of the internet, completely and utterly complacent in everything we are and do.
Just because you like porn doesn't mean you follow slaanesh. The fact that you sit around and constantly look at porn rather than seeking out women to ravage is actually closer to an act of nurgle, who is all about sitting around doing the same thing day in and day out.

>> No.9007356

>implying every fa/tg/uy is as alone, stagnant, and lonely as you

>> No.9007358

Nurgle is a god of Platonic love and Entropy, not apathy. And any pursuit of Excess is a worship of Slaanesh. Constant inundation of pornography to the exculsion of real life concerns counts as Excess.

>> No.9007373

>this thread

>> No.9007425

The Inquisition follows the tenets of Slaanesh, what with their excessive paranoia about the taint of chaos. They may also be tenuously said to follow the tenets of Nurgle, as they have let the Imperium of Man rot from the inside out with corruption.

>> No.9007452

It's true, the Imperium is a bit obsessive as a whole.

>> No.9007465

>implying I don't use wargear that grants a redemption bonus

>> No.9007474




>> No.9007486

>> No.9007487

Psykers for the psyker throne

>> No.9007499


Even the Ultramarines, whose love of the Emperor distracts from love of the Emperor!

People who should be worshiping the Emperor are worshiping the loyalty the Ultramarines have for the Emperor!

>> No.9007506

>> No.9007511

Nurgling here, always sick, gotten used to it

>> No.9007527

Ye gods.
They may be the greatest heretics of them all.

>> No.9007532


>> No.9007544

The rage, nay, the righteous fury you feel when a battle brother falls? A tribute to Khorne.

The same rage that prompts you to fire long after the beasts and the xenos have died, shooting their mangled corpses? A tribute to Slaanesh.

The tenets of the Codex Astartes, which promote, nay, ENCOURAGE stagnation within the ranks of the Space Marines? Shades of Nurgle.

And lastly, the fact that even though you may not think so, you are fighting a losing battle versus the forces of chaos and not electing a strong leader, despite evidence that your emperor is nothing but a glorified light house?

Tzeentchian overtones.

>> No.9007557


That made my brain hurt.

>> No.9007562


>> No.9007568

You are correct no one is immune to Chaos. However, through venerating the Emperor, smiting his foes, and obeying his holy example we may find ourselves delivered from the wickedness of the warp.

>> No.9007574

Why does he have cleavage?

>> No.9007600


tl;dr but oh lawd is dat some Cultist

>> No.9007605

which of your chaos gods you think I would serve?

>> No.9007609

>Though being incredibly obsessive and never doing anything else, the former being very Slaaneshi and the latter being very Nurgle...esque, does not empower Chaos
Quit deluding yourself, you silly boy.

>> No.9007613

Obvious Slaaneshi Taint.

>> No.9007634

sounds like u also accepted Rowboat Girlyman as yur spiritual liege emprah loving scum

All Hail the Urizen!!!

>> No.9007643

I'm Tau, and what is chaos?

>> No.9007646

Nurgle, due to your indolence.

>> No.9007649

Khorne, because you piss -everyone- off.

>> No.9007650


>> No.9007664


>> No.9007666


This won't do at all. I'm going to have purge this thread for OH GOD VAGINA TONGUES the Emprah. You'll thank me after I've burned your soul away with the light of faith.

>> No.9007670

I'd think I'd go with Nurgle.

>> No.9007695

Its like the Imperium of Man, except they'll commit unholy atrocities with your mangled corpses.

Granted, the Spess Muhreens already do this with Tau corpses, but just EVEN MORE ATROCIOUS.

>> No.9007708


>> No.9007717

So attempting to kill it with fire upon sight would be appropriate?

>> No.9007729

Nurgle has that despair thing going on, right? Probably him.

>> No.9007739

gah.. I chant weezzist. I fullloah Slaanesh-san. :3

>> No.9007748

That feeling of joy you get as you burn away heresy? The rush you get from exterminating the enemies of the Imperium of Man?

Those are Khornate in origin, baby.

>> No.9007753



>> No.9007757

Really, you consider me Chaos?

>> No.9007778

Tzeentch is all about plans.

How can you have a chaos god of things going the way you expect?

>> No.9007784

As a maybe-Warp entity, you're technically Chaos. So yep.

Everyone is Chaos. Everything you do is Chaos. The universe will burn. Eventually. Entropy mothafuckas.

>> No.9007786


She doesn't look like she got much out of that encounter... dude who fucked her must've popped off fast or is a crappy lay.

>> No.9007789

The emperor moonlights as slaanesh are you kidding?
and he's chums with tzeentch

>> No.9007791

don't really know who that is

been having a good day today, not clawing off its own face in rage

>> No.9007805

If Chaos ever notices the Tau race you're pretty much fucked, boyo.

I'd cut your losses and just destroy the whole goddamn planet (though that would fall under Khorn/Slaanesh's jurisdiction, it'd be better than letting your race fall to Chaos).

>> No.9007811

The emp is the embodiment of chaos undivided.

>> No.9007838

<Necron here: The warp is for fagots.>

>> No.9007841

What in the warp tainted blood baths of Lady Bathany is going on here?

>> No.9007847


Another day, another victory in the making for our glorious Emperor!

>> No.9007852

Every Angry Post is a tribute to Khorn.

Every Excessively Angry (or just excessive) post is a tribute to Slaanesh

Indifferent posts are a tribute to Nurgle.

And ALL the posts pay a tithe to Tzeentch. This thread was planned from the start, after all.

>> No.9007862

Anon speaks the truth
Unless Tzeentch is so chaotic...he's not even chaotic

>> No.9007863

Be it flesh and bone or daemonic soul, all shall be devoured as equal lessers to our lords.

>> No.9007899


Don't listen to this heretic.

Dedicate your every action to the God Emperor and it denies the foul beings these heretics worship any strength.

Faith is your shield and hatred is the sword with which you will cut these bastards down!

>> No.9007909

>Not Chaos as fuck
The Imperium would be Rossiu.

>> No.9007930

>Implying I enjoy killing.

I merely fulfill my duty, ma'am. No more, no less. I do what I am told. What is required of me by the inquisition. I derive joy from completing my orders as given. I feel nothing, one way or the other, when I chop heretics in half with my giant chainsaw.

And I should warn you. Your chaos given armor will not help you. I've cut space marines in half with this damn thing.

>> No.9007935

Dude what. TTGL would be anything -BUT- the Imperium. It would either be Chaos or Orks.

>> No.9007940

would your emperor have beef jerky and nice cold, air conditioned place rest my head?

>> No.9007952


Foolish heretic!
TTGL is one long HUMANITY FUCK YEAH series!

The whole thing shows our vast superiority to every race in existence!

>> No.9007983

Hatered is not my sword. Hate is a pretty pathetic sword. You can't cut anything with it. It's an emotion. Things pass threw emotions.

My sword is the sword by which we protect the imperium from the Daemon, the Heretic, and the Xeno.

>> No.9007987


All good things come to those loyal to the god Emperor.

>> No.9007993

Look at the Anti-Spirals. They were trying to preserve Order through the whole universe, and were willing to kill anything to fulfill that. The Anti-Spirals are the Imperium if the Imperium wasn't weak as shit.

>> No.9007998

All that excessive pride? Slaanesh.

>> No.9008001

>> No.9008009

Sure. Eat the emperor, he's pretty much beef jerky by now. Plus, the Golden Throne is air-conditioned (or so I'm told).

>> No.9008015

Shhh don't tell them to the imperium "FUCK YEAH MANKIND"fags, they think the imperium of man aren't corrupt as shit.

>> No.9008021


>> No.9008036


Nay the anti-spirals represent the inevitable stagnation of chaos!

Only through devotion to the god Emperor is there any hope for humanity's future!

>> No.9008044


>> No.9008054

Well that and by turning to the teachings of Sanguinius.

>> No.9008056

>Of chaos


>> No.9008065

he kept the beef jerky coming, would be loyal to last beat of its heart

>> No.9008072


I was going to say this, but he beat me to it.

You're a very silly person.

>> No.9008088

>this is what the Inquisition actually believes

>> No.9008109

The entire Imperium is about as stagnant as it gets.

>> No.9008131

I am just trying to figure out how can someone call "Chaos" stagnant. That's all.

>> No.9008135

That is very much what Nurgle stands for.

>> No.9008137


Chaos inevitably turns on itself and destroys itself.

The forces of Chaos do not create, they are only capable of destruction and when they can no longer find something external to destroy they turn on themselves.

Or just turn on themselves anyways for the hell of it.

Whereas the Imperium stands united!

>> No.9008143

This thread needs moar GREAT CRUSADE

>> No.9008154

I'm agreeing with you. The "you're a silly person" was meant for the guy who said it.

>> No.9008161

Because half of the chaos pantheon wants to keep their followers in stasis, and half wants to degrade them till their spawn.

>> No.9008169

turning in on itself, like some sort of self-defeating spiral...

>> No.9008180

what does Saint Drussus look like?

>> No.9008184


>> No.9008188

Gee, Chaos turning in on and destroying itself sure does sound like what happened in the TTGL universe before everyone was forced underground.

>> No.9008192

Technically, the only way that Chaos will ever be completely eradicated is if every creature that feeds it/the warp all tank/are destroyed.

Your move.

>> No.9008197

>bitches don't know 'bout my Tzeentch

Brb conjuring up eldritch horrors with my MIND. Gonna make a giant fortress out of eyeballs.

>> No.9008203

But the mere act of turning in themselves isn't stagnation at all, in fact it's the very oposite!

>> No.9008211


An...anti-spiral if you will.

>> No.9008248

You don't hang out around the Marines much do you. Not many of us can stand the Boyscouts in blue. Honestly Girlyman's followers pretty much treat everything that man penned as the sanctified seamen of o the blessed emperor himself.

>> No.9008254

You are now aware that Chaos is the Beastmen, the Imperium is the humans, and the Anti-Spirals are Necron, and that Chaos and the Imperium are going to join forces and fuck shit up and embrace each other. The Imperium will become less faggotrocious and terrible all around and Chaos will chill out a bit.

>> No.9008264

Rage. Fury. Hate. All echoed impotently around the inside of the metal sarcophagus that trapped him. Blood ran hot and splattered his frame as the pathetic planetary defence troops were rent limb from fragile limb yet his metallic screams were of frustration as it still felt distant. All the power and no way to experience it. Dead and dying, the forgotten renegade continued his rampage, and callously directed the fury of his weaponry closer and closer to his own allies. Watching them cake themselves in the bright gore with jagged knives and screaming chainblades, the temptation to sunder them grew greater.

There was a sudden and powerful impact, and what little the renegade could see of the controls he manipulated told him that something had struck him. Armour had been pierced, and the talon arm he had used to tear apart so many of the False Emperor's lackeys had been disabled. No matter, the renegade snarled to himself, it was a simple matter to turn and blast apart the foe with-

The thought was gone as suddenly the Chaos Dreadnought was pulled backwards, all against its own volition. Joints groaned as resistance failed, and helplessly the walker was pulled backwards. Two mighty arms of metal ensnared the frame of the Renegade war machine in a hug, crushing the sarcophagus as its Blood Fists crackled with energy. Warning lights were flashing, and the renegade for a moment basked in the emotions of panic as the new feeling it was. How long had it been? How long had it been since someone had made him feel such a way? More confusing emotions bubbled to the crippled marine's mind, and a husky metallic voice spoke up from behind him.

>> No.9008283

“I come to end you”

Heat. He felt something in his metal tomb beyond the numbing cold of metal. Something from behind him was melting through his rear armour. With what sounded like a mash of metal on metal the heat increased. Something was spearing through. Agony. Beautiful agony. Tears were in the eyes of the renegade, and moments before the melta-gun poured its charge into the Chaos Dreadnought's frame a tiny voice called back to his attacker.

“Thank you”

Revered Ancient Brother Fornnikatis of the Blood Angels released the shuddering Dreadnought, his mighty groin-melta pulling out from the hole it had melted, allowing the gooey remains of the renegade to ooze out with the rapidly cooling liquid metals. The claw of the Magna Grapple detached itself from the inert frame, and Fornnikatus turned to face his next victim. A Death Guard Rhino shuddered along the battlefield with a cargo of disease and suffering.

“It shall be great pleasure to best you” Fornnikatis declared loudly, super-heat spittling from the head of his groinal-melta.

>> No.9008295

But that would involve plot advancement, and Games Workshop is far too entrenched in their Nurgle-esque stance on changing their product to ever do that.

>> No.9008305

DMAN hes right. I'm totaly under the influence of the Warp god THE EMPRAH


>> No.9008321

Granted, but you have to admit it makes a hell of a lot of sense. Just look at everything's origins and the state of both the Imperium and Chaos.

>> No.9008324

/tg/'s full of faggots.

>> No.9008336

I was nodding my head until the Groinal Melta happened.

Then the laughter couldn't stop.

>> No.9008345

You are now aware that the God-Emperor of Mankind is not only a Chaos God but the PENULTIMATE Chaos God, and wants to keep all the worshippers for himself.

>> No.9008359

Chaos does pretty much represent stagnation. Never mind there is even one whole Chaos God entirely DEVOTED to the very concept of stagnation and decay, chaos is destructive. The only way it appears to be ever changing is because it has something to consume.

It will consume and consume and consume till it has nothing left to consume. Even itself.

It represents the ultimate goal towards nothingness. That is all true chaos ever strives for. Destruction of everything till there is nothing left.

Where life still persists.. there will be change. Always. Even in the Imperium. It cannot be helped or stopped no matter how hard you try.

>> No.9008364

So, if tau take over?

>> No.9008388

>implying Tau wouldn't get overrun by Orks.

>> No.9008398

>Chaos does pretty much represent stagnation.
>One god represents stagnation
>One fourth
Either way, another one represents change.
You're the dumbest thing I've ever met.

>> No.9008402


>> No.9008409

well tau or necrons

>> No.9008438

They simply don't have the numbers to combat the Ork Menace.

>> No.9008447


>> No.9008453


Tau are small time, just one of many small alien empires throughout the galaxy. The Tau just happen to be the small alien empire that GW decided to make models of. Maybe in about 20k years they will have a shot but by then we will either have SUPER IMPERIUM, MEGA CHAOS, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING THANKS TO NECRONS, AN OMNOMONONOMOMNO'D GALAXY (FUCKIN' 'NIDS), or ORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZORKZ

>> No.9008461

They have the only number that matters.

Seventy three.

>> No.9008506

Funny how all you can do is laugh, anon. When anyone makes my point, all you do is laugh. Not once has any counter argument been made in this thread other than U R RE TART ED.

You fail debate. We win. The ultimate goal of chaos is decay and stagnation.

>> No.9008558

I did provide Tzeentch as a counterpoint to your "Nurgle is why Chaos is never going to do anything" idiocy. But okay.
The Imperium is about as stagnant as stagnant can be. They adhere to customs from forever ago, and kill anyone who tries anything different.
Chaos doesn't want the destruction of -everything-. They want justice against the Imperium and the Emperor. The Orks aren't a major drive for them, Necron, Eldar, nothing is. They just want the Imperium gone forever.

>> No.9008564


>> No.9008583

>implying Slaanesh doesn't want hot, forbidden, and horrifying sex with Eldars

>> No.9008600

>They want justice against the Imperium and the Emperor.
That's not really Chaos so much as the motivations of those who would beseech Chaos for power or use it to their own ends.

Chaos itself only saw The Emperor as he was able-bodied as a great threat that necessitated dealing with so they could continue The Great Game.

>> No.9008623

Also I'd like to add, the only point you presented I just laughed off was "Chaos represents stagnation" which defies the entire fucking -concept of Chaos.
You also say "You fail debate" accompanied with "You lose, we win" which is just about as dumb as you can get in any debate.
And misspelling retarded doesn't make you look any better.

>> No.9008641

Chaos wants CHANGE not destruction. destruction is just a means to get there.

It could also be argued that IoM is pretty much a manifestation of the 4 gods will combined.

>> No.9008643

That's true. The Chaos gods themselves though don't desire destruction. They have their goals but none of them are outright destruction of the universe.

>> No.9008704

Additionally there are plenty of lesser Xenos species that have not flourished across the galaxy that have fallen to Chaos, and either become fixated on it or wiped themselves out through it.

Chaos does not want change. Chaos desires two things. Worship and sacrifice. Both sustain and empower it. They have their means to doing it, but ultimately the goal of Chaos is and will always be to maintain their own existence to usurp one another.

That's right, the Chaos Gods seek to undo one another, and the realm of realspace is merely a means to ensuring they are able to do so. The nature of The Great Game and The Four ensures that never do the Gods have superior footholds for lone.

It is likely to stay that way.

>> No.9008746

Here, let me bring in TIE CAT to help educate you on the true nature of Chaos.

I already knew you'd bring up Mister JUST AS PLANNED as some kind of dinky proof chaos cares about anything but the ultimate ker-plosion of everything. Lets look at what the big blue bird would have you do. You think you're doing this great awesome thing by following in the footsteps of your forefathers. Overthrowing an oppressive regime. Who says it stops there? He's about tearing down the status quo for the sheer sake of tearing it down. Reduce it to ruin. Nothing shall ever stand for long. Another revolution takes place to overthrow the new regime before it can even start just for the hell of overthrowing it. Then another overthrow happens before the previous overthrow is even done. All for the sake of 'change'. This is a chaos god. There is no sense in the action. Only mindless pursuit of their ultimate goal. Throw it down and stomp on the ruins. Sure, you were his loyal troops only a moment ago, but what does that matter to him? Now you are the representation of the status quo.

The cycle goes on till there isn't enough to actually rebuild with. Much less enough free ground to rebuild on or people left to do the rebuilding. You just get a pile of corpses and rubble and nothing else.

What happens then? Tzeentch laughs his ass of cause of his epic troll, "ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU." Nurgal stands arm in arm with him laughing too because he got what he always wanted. Now there is just disease ridden corpses everywhere and not even any pathetic cultists to complain about how his blister started to eat his brain. Khorne had a righteous good time because of all the blood and throws a pizza party on top of the corpse pile. Slaanesh is in a corner fapping after posing the dead in a lewd manner.

>> No.9008828

That's not how I presented Tzeentch in relevance to your point. You brought up Nurgle as a god who desires stagnancy. I brought Tzeentch up as a god who desires change. And still, the Chaos gods do not desire destruction. That's what this ridiculous excuse for a debate over crappy fluff is about. Not the final results. The Imperium doesn't have a chance in the world anyway. Their story ends only in death, which is the ultimate torpor. No change there, unless you want to nitpick and count decomposition.
Also, what you just described is definitely not stagnancy.
Either way, it doesn't make a bit of difference guys. The fluff is inert.

>> No.9008860

I'm a Khronate Bishi VAMPIRE!


>> No.9008873

>this thread

>> No.9008877

Tzeentch and Nurgle are opposed for a reason.

Building and growth are change, too.

>> No.9008893

This thread has a Blood Angel Dreadnought fucking a Chaos Dreadnought to death I think we need a moratorium on Chaos.

>> No.9008922

>Not the final results.
>Implying the final results don't matter at all when determining what something is.

I would say your flawed logic surprises me, but I expect no less from a heretic. If you killed someone in cold blood, I expect you'd try to convince me you weren't a murderer either!

"No, Miss Cleric about to chop me in half. I'm not a murderer! I was trying to help him by ridding him of his dull life! It doesn't matter that this results in him being dead!"

>> No.9008928

I decided to go with Nurgle, because i'm lazy and I rarely get sick. So I could be a plague spreader for Papa Nurgle, and he'd love me and not eat my soul should I die. Unlike that dick Slaanesh who would, or Khorne who'd add you to his ever growing skull throne, or Tzeentch who'd turn you into a mindless chaos spawn and recite "Just as planned".

>> No.9008936


That reason is that Nurgle is CWC and Tzentch is a troll.

Fuck, I can't find the image did of Nurgle as CWC.

>> No.9008948

Who is dat woman?

>> No.9008978

Better dead than shat all over by the Inquisition day in and day out, forced to fight for your life and get shot in the face or get shot in the face for not fighting for your life.
Though outside of my glorified happy anarchic raggamuffin outlook on Chaos they probably don't have it much better. But I like it my way.
So I guess I'd side with the Necrons if it weren't for that.

>> No.9008987

Sounds like the kind of attitude that'll make you a Fury.

>> No.9008993

Just some lady being a paragon of hotblooded awesomery.
I don't think she actually did anything or is anyone noteworthy. I doubt you'd be able to find the moar you so desire.

>> No.9008997


Found it.

>> No.9009010

Always seemed simple to me.

>> No.9009031

That image is terrible and you should feel terrible for having it.

>> No.9009043

fap fap fap

>> No.9009044

See, shit like this is why I roll with the Cult Mechanicus. Robots, Augments, and a chance to work alongside the most holy manifestations of the Machine God's will.

Also punching Orks with lascannons.

Legio Destructor: the best Legio.

>> No.9009062

just as planned

>> No.9009092

So what are your feelings on >>9008264 ?

>> No.9009100

>> No.9009105


So, if you kill someone with your dick, does that make you a Khornite or Slaaneshi.

>> No.9009114

>implying chaosfag is a furry.

OH man.. I can't top an insult like that. That's ruthless.

>> No.9009116


>he thinks machines can't be turned to chaos.

Oh you.

>> No.9009122

>> No.9009125


You follow both Gods.


>> No.9009131

You fucks made the deamoncuabla system.

>> No.9009141

A Fury you blithering box of nipple-clamps. They're little winged whineypants fuckers that couldn't make up their mind on what they believed in.

>> No.9009153

The Dark Mechanicum has more fun!

Except the unbirthing fetishists working for the Iron Warriors, those guys are fucked up.

>> No.9009157

>> No.9009162

But I definitely stick with Chaos until the very end.

>> No.9009165




>> No.9009174

Hard on engaged.

>> No.9009180

Doesn't matter. The Chaos Gods are jealous gods. Unless you're Chaos Undivided, you need to just pick a god a stick with it to the end. Otherwise you get rewarded as a traitor deserves.

>> No.9009186

>> No.9009189


>some crazy guys super awesome cultist self-insert that kills space marines with a knife and doesn't afraid of anything doesn't like mary sues

>> No.9009192

We were cap-toored ages ago.

>> No.9009200

In that case...

>> No.9009201







>> No.9009210





>> No.9009236

Oh Omnissiah that just ain't right. That is what I think.

Maybe if you shed all that flesh, I might call you back.

Oh fuck you Adeptus Biologicus are freaks don't associate me with them.

>> No.9009255

I own both the Liber Chaotica and Xenology...

to fight the enemies of Man, we must walk on a dangerous path.

>> No.9009270

OH well then! Let me take the liberty of saying it for you then.

Chaosfags are furries.

>> No.9009271

Would you rate it as worse than the fact the Blood Angels still won't hand over the Baal Predator STC? Or less worse?

>> No.9009288

>Blood Angels being stingy dicks



>> No.9009313


>> No.9009322

My next story shall be about this, then.

>> No.9009347

Radicals Represent

>> No.9009359


Also, the Space Wolves successor chapter (Wolf Brothers) degenerated into furry yiffing due to tainted gene seed.


>> No.9009379

I guess I am...lets not tell anyone...hahah

>> No.9009463

>thread reached 150 posts
>interest rapidly tapered off

Thees Throoed Hass Bean sooksezfooly Kap-thoored Fhoor Kay-oss

>> No.9009471

Prance around proclaiming your superiority all you want, you Astartes assholes, but fork over the fucking STCs it's all we want!

>> No.9009478

I self-flagellate in front of a picture of the Emperor every 5 minutes. Wrong.

>> No.9009503

It's funny you post that image.

>> No.9009520

Chaos and Change. You don't plan stuff like that; it just happens. You don't, but he does. They do. That series of small mutations, each one a tiny change, that nonetheless prove useful to survival. That one object buried for millinia to be uncovered at just the right moment. Then the effects being brought to their logical conclusions. But the conclusion is never reached.

"Just as planned." The cry of those fools who think themselves finished. No; the change, the plan, is never completed. Adjustments are made to long laid traps, continuing further as new changes form and old ends begin again.

They watch. They plan. They succeed,

>> No.9009521

>Every five minutes
>To a photo of the emperor
You self flagellate to give picture to a trumped up lighthouse on a throne and end up giving power to Chaos? Tzeentch
>Wounds from flagellation
Delicious Nurgle.

>> No.9009525

Man, with that "accent" it's hard to tell what's she's saying.

>> No.9009551

nho wan eez lohyal, everywhan eez hereteec

>> No.9009557

You mean the infections that'd rise up from flagellating every 5 minutes, don't you?

>> No.9009670

The Emperor has nothing but the gift of death for mutants like yourself.

>> No.9009673

It's one of the few things I (and any good AdMech) totally flip a bit about.

The picture felt appropriate.

Normally, I'm pretty chill.

>> No.9009761

>Talking shit about the space wolves
>primarch Leman Russ.
You did NOT just indirectly talk shit about my husbwaifu.


>> No.9009807

Hand Theen Lucky! Ultra Devoted Killstick of the Inquisition hwas kap-thoored fhoor kay-oss :3

>> No.9009862

Bitch please. My ass already channels Slaanesh. My husbwaifu was in the warp so long he turned into a wolf girl.

And I can still smite you any day of the week.

>> No.9009911

>turned into a little girl
>ass of slaanesh

...That sounds kinda Chaos to me, bro. I'd BLAM you if I was the commissar.

>> No.9010035

You do not want to BLAM me.

You wish to touch my ass.

>> No.9010063

Nope, first you'll be BLAM'D, then we'll put the additional holes to good use.

>> No.9010073

Man, I haven't wanted to touch anyone's ass since I was 12.

I will acquiesce the aesthetics of the ass, but I'm into things more pleasing to the optics of the Machine God.

>> No.9010098

Possibly. Depends on your gender and if it's a good looking ass. Also taking recent showering into account. It's a complex process, this decision.

>> No.9010128


>> No.9010169

That's not a Lascannon!

>> No.9010186

...that's his waifu!

>> No.9010191

Cultist is the queen of /tg/.

>> No.9010343


>> No.9010361


>> No.9010452

I actually always found it kind funny really.

Though honestly it just looks like there was a weapon trade out. Why we even need a whole STC to convert a predator to a Baal predator is beyond me.

Oh well it's that kind of thinking that made me Explorator I guess.

>> No.9010456


>> No.9010481

don't mind me, just posting a female Karskin

>> No.9010513

Chaos gods only benefit from your thoughts and deeds if you specifically offer them up to them or if they are strong enough to attract their attention (you'd have to be a total fanatic for them to take notice).

Changing your underwear isn't worshipping Tzeentch. Going around mutating people in the name of science and your own personal pleasure WOULD be.

>> No.9010531

It's the PRINCIPLE of the thing! There might be things in there that they don't understand because they're all righteous lumps in the name of the EMPRAAAAA- we could do SO MUCH MORE with them!

Shit like this is why I gave up the staff and took up the lascannon. Politics are much simpler in the Legio.

So you boogie on around with a half-crazed Magos looking at xenos? How does that work out? Sounds interesting, no lie.

>> No.9010682

Works out pretty well really. Lots of fire fights with xenos, but totally worth it when you unearth a acheotech vault no one else has been able to get to. Course the magos tends to be a dick and tries to hog all the glory but it's to be expected.

You also end up looking at -alot- of Xenotech. Like i've disassembled so many Tau rifles i could probably strip one down as fast as a guardsmen could a lasgun.

>> No.9010717

This thread..


>> No.9010726

>Magos hogging the glory
I'm a mudslogger for a TITAN. I'm way used to that. No one ever cares about us. EVER.

>groping xenotech
Yeah, I don't think I can handle that. Machine spirits don't like it much when I try it. It's the old techpriest designation acting up in me.

Not to mention every once in a while I can hear the poor crazed things shrieking and begging for mercy in the damn xenos rifles.

>> No.9010872

Oh one downside of being a explorator is that if anything at all goes wrong it is always your fault.

Like this one planet I went to once ended up having a Necron tomb buried in it. So I bluntly let the magos know that we should be careful not to wake the place up.

Come to find out that one of the other priests found his way down to the damn tomb and opened it up letting all the Necrons out to swam the planet.

We managed to get out of there before some Astartes is Yellow and Red armor came in and blew them to the warp and back. And who got blamed for this whole debacle? Me.

Did manage to snag one of the necron rifles for the magos though, not sure why it didn't teleport away, but I figure it's not my problem anymore.

>> No.9010894


Holy gearshafts, and you're all in one piece? He didn't try to graft the damn rifle on someone, did he?

Fuck Necrons. FUCK THAT. I'm sticking to Orks. At least they have the decency to die.

>> No.9010905

>Did manage to snag one of the necron rifles for the magos though, not sure why it didn't teleport away, but I figure it's not my problem anymore.

Well, good news and bad news.
Good news is that you have three or more rifles hiding somewhere nearby; bad news is that rifles are usually attached to Necrons.

>> No.9010941

You know, I've heard this somewhere before.


Eh, nevermind. Just make sure you don't lick them.

>> No.9011031

Well this whole event was how I ended up getting my cybernetic arm. I'd been meaning to but jumping from sector to sector with little time for rest made it a bit difficult to get everything in order. But then one shot took off my arm and I figured it was as good a time as any to get it finally installed.
Oh. Well...shit. I'll make sure I have my Axe ready. Along with an escape route.

>> No.9011077

Now there's a good excuse.

Mine was 'The boiler exploded all over the lower half of my body'. Shit was not awesome, though it was kinda cool to get Initiated pretty young.

>> No.9011095

>> No.9011218


I don't even have any bionics. I feel all left out, now.
...But I guess you guys don't get thunderfire cannons, so it evens out.

>> No.9011253

>thunderfire cannon

I admit, I am a little jealous. I prefer non-projectiles, but that is pretty fucking sweet.

Nothing will top my yearning for a Basilisk, though.

>> No.9011278

What would Ahriman be the god of if he had ascended to being a chaos god?

>> No.9011280

We also aren't pumped full of extra organs.

Wait a minute weren't you a daemonette a while back Tarvus?

>> No.9011300


And not the mind bullets variety, either.

>> No.9011321

Gaining power any time someone requested info through the noosphere... devious!

>> No.9011379


But, but! When you shoot a basalisk at something, if you miss you have to wait ages before it fires again. With a thunderfire cannon, you just keep firing!

Er, yes. Returned from special training a while ago.

>> No.9011425

So wait..you're a daemonic techmarine?

...I do like that cannon though.

>> No.9011437

The god of getting royally fucked over and never being right, even with good intentions.

>> No.9011451

You're Tzeench's right? So I'm just misreading the whole 'many shots v one shot' thing.

And the thing is, anything I'd shoot with the Basilisk only really NEEDS one shot.

I keep almost putting Baneblade.

>> No.9011456


Trade you for a Klondike bar.

>> No.9011484


I tried loading melta charges into the him but I don't think the machine spirit likes spicy food.

>> No.9011504

melta does not go in there silly daemon

>> No.9011545

Hm, let me think about th-

You make a point-maybe we could mount thunderfire cannons on a basilisk somehow?


I object to that possessive noun.
...But yeah, Slaanesh traded me for something. Not sure what.

>> No.9011558


C'mon, how much can a Thunderfire cannon REALLY be worth?

Also, you were probably traded for drugs.

Horrible, mind boggling drugs.

>> No.9011571

I'm just trying to ascertain how sexual the comment was. No offense, daemon of the machine. I may be way into close relations with my lascannon, but there's a limit.

Clearly the answer (if I was into heretek and Daemonic bullshit) would be to somehow combine a Baneblade with a Basilisk.

And then attach Thunderfires to the side.

Just because you COULD.

>> No.9011595

Hey! Daemonic I may be, but I'm not silly!

If it had worked I would have been pumping out four S8,Large Blast melta templates a turn at BS 6.

>> No.9011624

Melta is some picky bitches. I have a few guys with big fuckoff Meltas and they are CONSTANTLY fighting them. 'No do this' 'aim at that' la-de-fucking ALL DAY LONG.

I think they get off on it and that kinda creeps me out at least I keep it to normal battle ecstasy, you know?

>> No.9011634

>I'm just trying to ascertain how sexual the comment was.



Oh yeah, Baneblade-mounted dual Earthshaker cannons with twin-linked Thunderfire sponsons and Pintle-mounted Flamestorm cannon.

Maybe if we found a Raider, and used the cargo hold for an improved engine, we could make a cut-down version...

>> No.9011646


>> No.9011668

I don't know if the frame could hold it. The poor machine spirits would scream their metaphorical brains out.

Not to mention that still leaves the driver in a very cramped situation. He'd have to be AdMech or Daemon to have enough control over the thing- no one without an MIU could do it.

>> No.9011697



Well, maybe we could get a Rhino base, put the Earthshaker on the top, and make the Thundercannons hull-mounted?

>> No.9011718

That might work.

You'd have to basically make the whole thing engine and ammo, but maybe?

You could always just tape two Rhinos together, too. I've seen similar done before in a pinch.

>> No.9011739

Just realized an added bonus: You could ride on top and that is always a great experience.

>> No.9011747

...Or we could get a Raider, elongate the body, put the Thunderfires there...
Get the Earthshaker and put it on the top? There'd be more room for, well, people inside as well.

>> No.9011757


>> No.9011760

>ride on top

I mean, a Raider should work. The Bangles drop them from Thunderhawks, they should be able to take Earthshaker recoil.

>> No.9011774

Honestly, at this point, it'd be Daemons or Admech, and they don't need room ANYWAY. Fuck the passengers.

Riding on top is totally partial reason I have a big fuckoff Lascannon on wheels. Not even going to try and lie.

I'd go with fucking up a Raider. They're sturdy boxes and so damn stoic they'd never make a beep in protest.

>> No.9011799

Rightio then. I'll go about requisitioning an extra Redeemer. You have an Earthshaker around somewhere, right?

...I think I just found the first snag.

>> No.9011823

And now, my plan comes to fruition. Jerking around you guys with this stuff is great.

We don't keep Earthshakers in my Legio. That's for the PDFs to fight over Guardsmen with. We have Titans, we don't /need/ Earthshakers.

>> No.9011857

I don't mind. Deep down, you know that that idea is freaking badass. And also, that if it ever comes to fruition that you won't be taking a ride on the Rape Raider.

That, and can Titans fit on Thunderhawks?
I'm dropping in from orbit when I make this. It will be GLORIOUS.

>> No.9011896

Wait, you're Tzeentchian now? When'd that happe--

er, just as planned, rather.

>> No.9011898

:( aw what if I say I'm sorry.

>getting airdropped.
Oh god I got drop-podded once.

I didn't even know I could still vomit. It was the MOST DISGUSTING THING.

>> No.9011961

No. I'm not letting you take any credit for this.

>Oh god I got drop-podded once.
What? Who the heck made you get into a drop pod? WHY did you get into a drop pod?

>> No.9011999


My Lascannon was in repairs and they made me oh god it was terrible

But on the upside: I have a line on my bios that says never to put me in a drop pod!

>> No.9012004

Bawwwww. Seriously tho', wut?

>> No.9012010


>> No.9012028

Bit late for that, innit?

>> No.9012035

>My Lascannon was in repairs
And you were not repairing it yourself?
...My friend, your lascannon may be having an affair.

Slaanesh traded me to Tzeentch for something. Dunno what.

>> No.9012036


>> No.9012038

A drop pod? Why are you still alive?

>> No.9012049


Knowing the Slaanesh-Tzeentch relations; drugs.

>> No.9012056

But stealing credit is what Tzeentchians do!

>> No.9012060

We were pressed for people with vox-casters and competency at the time. I had both, so out the garage you go, honored Techpriest!

Neither of us were very happy SHE IS VERY LOYAL SHE'D NEVER THINK OF CHEATING.

>> No.9012069

these threads are a step above edition wars.

>> No.9012072

Of course not. She's not smart enough for that.

>> No.9012074

Oh yes, I have to post this.
And an upside, I don't have to lace my sentences with sexual innuendo anymore! It was getting hard to keep it up.

>> No.9012078


A good thing too, I think.

I was getting so tired of completely missing them.

>> No.9012082


My optics ache I thought I had that fucker blocked.

And now you have to make elaborate plans and/or trolls.

>> No.9012096

Oh? Have you given her some "non-standard" upgrades?

Really. You might as well have a relationship with a servitor.

>> No.9012098

>And now you have to make elaborate plans and/or trolls.
>pict related

>> No.9012110


You, sir, are no gentleman.

Servitors are mindless pseudo-people.

Machines are intelligent beings.

>> No.9012117

Servitors don't have machine spirits that's absurd they're just... Servitors. The lascannon has a robust machine spirit, one that I enjoy to request aid from. Completely different.

And of course I've personalized my lascannon what kind of Sagitarius would I be if I didn't?

>> No.9012119

I can help!

>> No.9012128

You're not Admech you wouldn't understand etc. etc.

That. Servitors don't have those fire-select knobs, and they're too...meaty. Ehe he he.

...Sorry. Still getting over Slaanesh.

>> No.9012129

hi five, AdMech bro.

>> No.9012150

So the holy mechanics you people put in them don't warrant a machine spirit of their own? Why not?

If you go on like this, I might suspect you of making all this shit up.

>> No.9012160


We need work bitches.

We sure as hell aren't going to put machine spirits in work bitches.

That would be demeaning.

>> No.9012169

Because they're servitors. Seriously, that's it. They're not MACHINES. They're corpses being recycled, basically. The soul has already departed to be cogs or whatever the Machine God needs.

Even the Manufactor-General doesn't have a machine spirit, and he's, what, 85% metal? He's still a man.

>> No.9012213

Y'know, I have some knowledge of the Credo Omnissiah, and I'm pretty sure it says that THE OMNISSIAH imbues machines with machine spirits. Not the techpriests.
Hubris much?

>> No.9012220



Hey, now!


>> No.9012239


You know, I was reading up on Navigators in the Black Library.

>All Navigators have a third eye, commonly called the Warp Eye, on their foreheads

>Mutation or deformity is common among Navigators, although the deviations exhibited are limited to specific traits common among Navigators. Navigators tend to be tall and spindly, sometimes with pale and almost translucent skin. Other common traits include scaly skin, extremely large eyes which may lack the iris, and ill-defined facial features

There is overwhelming evidence that suggests you are a Navigator, Nimue.

>> No.9012242

Uh, no?

That other guy might be arguing that, but my stance is still good.

Besides, he probably means completing the rites to entice the spirit into the machine. We (or at least my forge) just don't do them for servitors.

>> No.9012258



>> No.9012274

Yeah, basically.

They're useful, and you might as well use the bodies SOMEHOW, you know? I can only hope my skull will become a helpful servo-sidekick when my mainspring unwinds.

>> No.9012289

Thank you.

So the Omnissiah can be bribed?

As the Omnissiah represents perfection in machine form, is it not essentially unknowable to one who still partakes of flesh? Thus unknowable, who are you to say that it NEVER grants a machine spirit to a servitor, or at least a servitor's mechanics? Is it not POSSIBLE there are one or more servitors in existence who may include within them a machine spirit, and all this time you techpriests have been treating it like... like MEAT?

Oh yeah. She's made that claim. But then, she's also done some things that Navigators aren't known for...

>> No.9012297

>I can only hope my skull will become a helpful servo-sidekick when my mainspring unwinds

I would have thought you'd want to be a gun servitor.
Like, bonded to your Lascannon for all eternity.

>> No.9012322

>she's also done some things that Navigators aren't known for

Random mutation and warpfire? That can easily be explained as psyker wankery.

>Is it not POSSIBLE there are one or more servitors in existence who may include within them a machine spirit, and all this time you techpriests have been treating it like... like MEAT?

Well, the machine spirit would surely speak up if it was being treated incorrectly.

>> No.9012325


I was agreeing to the hubris bit, by the way.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm the shit.

In reference to servitors, however, no there is no machine spirit.

They little more than humans with cyber-implants who have had there higher brain functions wiped making them low functioning work monkeys.

You are more like to find a sentient power arm than a machine spirit in a servitor.

>> No.9012343

The Omnissiah isn't bribed. The Machine Spirit is. As a mere fraction of his divine power, it has only a fraction of his perfection; the machine spirits vary from machine to machine as much as we do from one another.

This isn't Adeptus Rocketry here.

It may be unknowable, but that's part of the Quest: we seek to understand His divinity, and through knowing, become divine ourselves. We can identify machine spirits and commune with them (AND HOW), but they are to us like most AdMech are to Imperials; alien and strange, though at base the same thing.

There's been no known recordings of a servitor being granted a machine spirit. His machines might- dull-witted but obedient ones, mostly, but never the actual servitor. It's possible, but that's why we don't treat servitors like IG treats the penal legions. We take care of them and maintain them with diligence, for even in the basest existence is the chance for the divine to reveal new knowledge.

oh omnissiah i can feel the techpriest in me coming back argh not theology!

>> No.9012348


>> No.9012351

That would also be awesome. I could get a metal skullbox and have my own skull as my servo guy.

Too ridiculous or no?

>> No.9012379

I never thought I'd have the chance to use this picture again.

>> No.9012389

I'm trying to imagine that. It's not working.
Maybe... Maybe if you taped the servoskull to the actual lascannon, and used it for sighting...
Aww yes.

>> No.9012400


>> No.9012409

I could use it as my eyes and ears away from the lascannon-self in this hypothetical.

My dream-servitorization is definitely an ordinance one in a Titan. Victus Lustrix if I can; that's the one I serve right now.

>see pict

>> No.9012427

>explained as psyker wankery
Navigators aren't regular psykers. Their particular gene-code only has limited manifestations. Of course, they are also subject to mutation, and if a Navigator has mutated enough to manifest non-Navigator psy abilities......

>machine spirit would surely speak up
But the techpriest aren't listening to them!

Some servitors have power arms.

It is the Omnissiah that grants a machine a machine spirit, says the Credo. It DOES NOT say the machine spirit gets a say in the matter. There is no-one else to influence; therefore, you must be attempting to bribe the Omnissiah.

>> No.9012434

Bribe the Omnissiah with what?
...Bolts? I bribed a shopkeeper with bolts once.

>> No.9012441

I write to you Chapter Master Dante in regards to the recent incident on the planet Roos.

You had informed my lord, that due to his insistent and daily demands for the access to the so-called “Baal-Pattern Predator” designs (Note: that you have foolishly denied us previously) you would “extend a Baal Branch” and assent to the taking of one of the vehicles for us to study and disassemble at our leisure for the betterment of the Mechanicus. Our Diplomatic Function Expedition led by Magos Bleegh met with your “Captain Castigon” of the 4th Company, and were alarmed that there was a condition to our experiment as he brought the Predator out to us.

Your Captain insisted that all we needed to do to claim the vehicle and the denied design, was to touch the vehicle. Magos Bleegh was wary as we all were, but still walked the distance to where the Predator was parked. Upon almost reaching the vehicle, it activated and began to reverse slowly. Suspecting trickery many of us were sent back to retrieve a vehicle as we tried to chase down the Predator on foot, then as it picked up pace to deny it we took a Chimera into the attempt.

>> No.9012445

Do you know how many hours and how much wasted fuel went into that chase? And to the end when we had thought to have out-moved the target it was picked up by a Thunderhawk Gunship and teased to us out of our reach!

We have returned to Mars as fools, and demand the following as recompense:
1)That the Baal-Pattern Predator be handed over to the Adeptus Mechanicus immediately.
2)That you issue a formal apology to Magos Bleegh
3)That Captain Castigon is exiled from the Blood Angels

Failure to do so will be met with admittedly only stern disapproval due to the fact that the others are still drooling over the Imperator Titan you found. Also due to the general dislike of Bleegh. Nonetheless we expect our demands to be met in full, lest the Blood Angels be shown to be liars for the failure of their so-called “Baal-Branch” gesture.

I look forward to your swift capitulation, should you care for your honour at all.
Thought for the day: In Iron. Wisdom.
Attached response from CHAPTER MASTER DANTE:
There are no trees on Baal, you simpering twit.

>> No.9012452

The Shopkeeper was an anomaly?

>> No.9012462

>the target it was picked up by a Thunderhawk Gunship and teased to us out of our reach
I want to meet that pilot.

>> No.9012470

Look, I'm the techpriest here. That is what happens.

You make the machine a good place to be for a machine spirit- one that doesn't have flaws or other bad things- and you are more likely to get a machine spirit granted unto you when you perform the rites.

If you try and tell me machine spirits can't be different from each other then I'd like to see you try and use my lascannon. Shit will just not work for you, while another lascannon, same pattern, hell, same BATCH, will work perfectly fine.

Machine spirits, being a fraction of the Machine God, cannot contain his perfection. Yes, he offers the spirit up, but there is a small window in which the spirit can 'wriggle free' and put itself in the wrong machine.

This is why the recaff machine shits itself on every tuesday or whenever you try to make tanna in it.

>> No.9012490


>> No.9012511

Psyk-Out soon, fellow psyker!

>> No.9012523

Oh Writefag~

>> No.9012524

...Eh. Gotta go. More 'How to use the warp to your advantage 101' training.
...One day, I will make my Rape-Raider. That'll show them.
It'll show them ALL.

>> No.9012527

Well you can't, because he's just out of your reach.

>> No.9012539

Lemme know when you do so I can alternatively be aroused and terrified.

As for me, I have a recharge station bitching at me to go use it. Fuck that, I have Stimm!

>> No.9012575


I do believe it's time for some relaxation, yeah.

Peace out, y'all.

>> No.9012586

>You make the machine a good place
I should hope so. Not doing so might be blasphemous.
If you try and tell me machine spirits can't be different from each other
Never said that. Machine spirits are CLEARLY different from each other. Even machine spirits within two otherwise identical machines will have their own idiosyncrasies.
>there is a small window in which the spirit can 'wriggle free'
Now you're just trying to come up with excuses, and they violate the Credo. THE OMNISSIAH, you know, the big guy, IMBUES THE MACHINE, however IT does it, but that reads "puts directly into", not "manifests it and points it at". There's no wiggle room. The spirit appears or is created within the machine, by the Omnissiah. You sound like you're saying the Omnissiah deliberately puts the wrong spirit in some machines, for ITS ineffable purposes.

>> No.9012624

Ah, buggerit. You sound like any other religious nutjob trying to justify the unprovable. Later.

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