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[ERROR] No.8979424 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Nobody poops.

Nobody in D&D has to poop, not even 4th ed which is highly criticized for being poop.
Space Marines dont poop, they dont even have poop chutes.. Although they probably have like 5 sphincters.
Orks dont poop, and if they did it'd just be another Ork.
I'm pretty sure Eldar are too high and fancy to poop, they probably have to but suck it up anyway so they seem dignified.
Halflings should poop, I mean.. FUCK they eat so much, why don't they poop?
Elves don't poop, too girly, and we all know girls don't poop.
Humans are known for poop, excess amounts of poop. Just not in the D&D world.
If Dorfs pooped, would it be like a grainy chunk of iron?

>> No.8979439

How about sparkly vampires?

>> No.8979444

ITT: OP is a scat fetishist and masturbates furiously whie we talk about he many different kinds of fantasy and sci-fi crap available.

>> No.8979450

>sees picture
>reads and finds out this is not Butt Quest

son, I am disappoint

>> No.8979460

this thread is...



>> No.8979462

>> No.8979463

>I'm pretty sure Eldar are too high and fancy to poop, they probably have to but suck it up anyway so they seem dignified.
Elder have some almost crystal stool from their efficient digestive system
>Orks dont poop, and if they did it'd just be another Ork.
They crap on imperial shrines and alters all the time in canon, and squig pits are also were they shit.

>> No.8979467

I have another image for that.

>> No.8979480

ITT No one has ever heard about the literary device known as scatology, AKA "everyone poops" -- it removes the heroic element from a setting when you find out they have bowel movements just like you do.

>> No.8979633

Wouldn't that make them cooler, because they poop just like you do and are awesome at the same time?

>> No.8979786

>Space Marines dont poop

Also, squig drops are canon (see Deff Skwadron)

>> No.8979843


Yeah. And that's why I play WFRP.

If you pinch a penny and go to a shitty in and eat shitty food, you'll be rushing to the bushes soon enough.

>> No.8979959

I imagine when a Goliath poops it is a solid piece of granite that could be used by a halfling as a club. Or when females menstruate, what comes out is a tear-shaped piece of mortar that could be used once as a shank.

>> No.8980060

>Or when females menstruate
I do not understand why the only female player in our group insists on keeping track of this for her character.

>> No.8980148

Happens offscreen like shit happening in Shakespeare

>> No.8980159

Because for 3-6 days a month she's gonna have to worry about monsters smelling the rags she has to bury.

>> No.8980174

Know when her character is fertile?

>> No.8980195

>Nobody in D&D has to poop, not even 4th ed which is highly criticized for being poop.

lern2ringofsustenance noob

>> No.8980216


Possibly preemptively hanging a lantern over her character going APESHIT one session?

>> No.8980253

>>Elves don't poop, too girly, and we all know girls don't poop.

Whilst it is obviously true that girls do not poop, they do secrete waste matter by producing a pale blue, egg-like excretion about every 3-6 days.

>> No.8980291

Stop that.
I'm already turned on by it being easter, and all.
I don't need you stirring up my ovaposition fetish even more.

>> No.8980319

Eldar poop crystals.

>> No.8980328

My friends were playing D&D, crawling through some dungion.
They got to a safe room to rest and one of them decided to go into the corner and take a shit.
The GM was inpressed by his roleplaying and gave him RPxp...

it developed into a full blown shit-storm

>> No.8980367

Eldar shit fairy dust in xenology.

>> No.8980447


So what, I suppose you don't want to hear about a nubile young lady moaning softly as the smooth, round shape gently issues forth from her orifice, its pastel surface slick with a thin layer of oily mucus? About the final, almost sensual twinge of her nether regions as the egg frees itself from her pudenda entirely, trailing a few, glistening, wet strands that catch the morning light like dew on a spider's web, whilst the ovoid rolls a few inches, rocking gently before coming to rest?

>> No.8980448


>> No.8980473


Cut that out.

>> No.8980477

i came

>> No.8980519


>> No.8981321

Dude, I was just in the bathroom taking a dump when I remembered I had a pic that totally fit this thread. Maybe if you had started this topic with something like this, the tread wouldn't have been soshitty.

>> No.8981342


>> No.8981385

go on...

>> No.8981391

Eldar shit diamonds. No, that's not a joke. Read Xenology.

>> No.8981442


>> No.8981470

Damn this sounds like my dm.
Only he does tell us how to roleplay, in fact I think he'd be the happiest just being both the dm and the players, sitting alone in the basement, rolling dice...

>> No.8981504


>> No.8981538


Cool (ripped off) story bro.


>> No.8981579

Sadly, I'm more aroused by your proper use of the possessive "it".

Oviposition is still pretty hot, though.

>> No.8981596

>Implying this hasn't been SOP on 4chan for years

Oh Anon, never change.

>> No.8981663


>> No.8981933


Part of me wants to write grammatically-correct, nicely-flowing fap fiction replete with vivid descriptions, just as a counterpoint to the mountains of crappy, self-insert crossover writing that plague the internet.

>> No.8982126

I call bull shit.....

>> No.8982258


>> No.8982311


>> No.8983132

Page 11 huh? Looks like this thread went down the [/tg/needsspoilers]shitter.[//tg/needsspoilers]

>> No.8984742

Nope, a involved description of eldar spore is provided.

>> No.8984817


The Warhammer Rulebook (latest edition) clearly mentions orc statues made out of their own dung. So Warhammer fantasy orcs poop.

>> No.8985055

Canon ork poop

>> No.8986497

Adventurer's Journal, Day 1
My friends and I have met in a tavern to discuss out acceptance of the latest quest. I think things will turn out great. We celebrated with a hearty meal and some drink

Journal, Day 3
We are well on our way to completing our quest. However, I think I may have a medical problem. I have not had to releave myself for a few days now. I will pay closer attention and consult the village elder when we return.

Journal, Day 8
Dear god... John... he was... I can barely write it. A troll came out of nowhere and... he's gone. I do not look foward to telling his mother. Maybe she will take solace in the fact that we dispatched the beast. On a side note, I still have not been able to relieve myself. It feels like a boulder is building inside of me, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot bring myself to "do the deed".

Journal, Day 13
I am beginning to think that some unseen hand is controlling me, and has forgotten that I have bodily functions. I am drawn to complete my quest, but no matter what I do, I cannot get rid of this horror in my bowels.

Journal, Day 23
I have been... I think I am dying. I have been stabbed during a battle, and I think this may be my last words. All I can think about is how I will be free from this pain and torment building inside me. No matter what greets me in the afterlife, I know I will finally feel relief.

>> No.8986573




>> No.8986657

What a shitty story.

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