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[ERROR] No.8811951 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Since it was so good last time, we continue our discussion of the good aspects of Chaos/how Chaos are the good guys

>> No.8811966

Uhhhh joining Nurgle make you immune to pain?

>> No.8811993




>> No.8812007

Khorne is a God that rewards you for taking your aggressions out. He promotes a low stress, high exercise lifestyle.

>> No.8812015

Ok, you made me smile, sir.

>> No.8812016

I thought 40k had those traits, or they both shared

Also, Nurgle loves his Isha.

>> No.8812037

So on one hand, Ive read that Khrone hates slaughtering of the weak (and punishes those who fight who cannot fight back)

On the other hand...World Eaters...although Ive not read anything explicitly saying they kill everything, barring Kharne

>> No.8812273

>> No.8812294

There are no good guys in 40k. Everyone's endgame fucks over everyone else.

>> No.8812296

The Cuteness of CHAOS! FEAR IT!

>> No.8812298

I can't see Nurglette with thinking female Luke.

>> No.8812319

I love my Papa Nurgle and my Mama Isha. Though I wish that Mama was less sad.

>> No.8812334

Khrone fluff has changed (and changed back), a lot.
early khrone only wanted the strong to fight the strong
new khrone cares not from where the blood flows

>> No.8812342

I once wrote a writefaggotry about a Slaaneshi Priestess who ascended to Daemonhood to become the Forge Mistress- she would reforge Slaaneshi worshippers so they could feel things again, but she'd take a portion of their soul/memories every time. Eventually none of them could do epic deeds or plan or shit like that, they'd be no better than Spawn.

Shit was cash, but it was on my old fucking computer. And the Virus of the Warp took it.

>> No.8812362

Chaos is at least true to it's self. It knows it is tainted, but it embraces it, for it's own good. The Emperor and his stead are far too holy in their own mind, and as such, decay from the inside.

>> No.8812369


Its more complicated than that though, because Isha would leave, only to find out she really does love Nurgle.

After all, Nurgle is a jolly one. Decaying, bloated...but jolly.

Its the ugly guy/hot wife phenomena

>> No.8812386

This is gonna be like one of those Japanese cartoon...

>> No.8812402

I see you. I see all of you. You think I don't see you? I. Fucking. See. You.

Everybody line up for a spanking.

>> No.8812424

... Now wat?

>> No.8812446


To me, it is inevitable the Emperor would have the rebellion on his hands. He deserved it. Pretty much everyone who rebelled was justified in doing so.

>> No.8812447


>> No.8812458

i bet nurgle smells like swiss cheese and feet. slaanesh all the way.

>> No.8812486

I can't hear you over what a raging faggot you are. Tzeentch is the way to go.

>> No.8812493

That is one huge vagina.

>> No.8812505


And astro-glide and ballsweat beats swiss cheese and feet?

>> No.8812506


>> No.8812507


That is not a vagina.

It is a censor bar.

>> No.8812517

Someone missed the part about the whole "Raging Faggot" rant.

>> No.8812529


>> No.8812534


Really, if only Slaanesh did look like that. Culexus did a real good interpetation of her...it...

Also, this is so cute

>> No.8812547

Tzeentch is the one who willed Creed to be a tactical genius. It's his plot after all...

>> No.8812569

>> No.8812580

Yeah we may not smell the best or look the best or anything else like that, but then again all of Papa Nurgle's mortal and daemonic children are the happiest servants of all the chaos gods. So we don't really care anyway.

>> No.8812590

Slaanesh enforces anything that makes you feel good, man. He doesn't want you do change who you are, he want you to come out of the closet and experience life to the fullest. To Slaanesh it doesn't matter if the feeling comes from sucking on a dead horse cock or having a loving wife and a steady job you like.
-Liber Chaotica and the author with whom I've had a few chats.

Tzeentch does does not punish people who disagree with him or even sabotaging his plans, for nothing shuffles the deck quite like a traitor, be it working for him or not.
-Pawns of Chaos, Tzeentch himself.

>> No.8812606

It depends. The true followers of Kharne are pretty damn happy with their job. And the followers of Tzeentch that don't take shit personally are happy too. You can't get screwed over if your outlook is that you're a part of the grand scheme.

>> No.8812612

New interrogation techniques, my lord?

Sir... is that your...?

>> No.8812625

>hugging a plague-bearer

enjoy your aids

>> No.8812635

Tzeentch enjoys speaking in the third person. It's so that Tzeentch knows what Tzeentch is plotting. Because everyone knows Tzeentch is a plotter.
-- Tzeentch, Musings on Tzeentch.

>> No.8812637

The wonderful thing about Chaos,
is that Chaos is wonderful things.
Our asses are all made of blubber,
Our tits are all made of springs.
We're lazy, crazy, hazy, dazy,
But the most wonderful thing about Chaos, is that I'm the not only one!
The wonderful thing about Cultists,
Is that Cultist are wonderful chaps!
They pray with all their vigor,
and fall right into our traps!
They're lumpy, bumpy, dumpy, crumpy,
But the most wonderful thing about Cultists,
Is she's not the only one.
Cultists are cuddly things, Cultists are sweet to eat,
Everyone else be hatin'
And that's why I repeat!
The most wonderful thing about Chaos,
Is that Chaos is wonderful things.
Our asses are all made of rubber,
Our tits are all made of springs!
But the most wonderful thing about Chaos,
Is that you're not the only one!

>> No.8812684

I lol'd heartily.

>> No.8812686

W40k only attempts to be grimdark. I mean how the fuck can you shoot a Necron that cute?

>> No.8812693

Also weve had Chaotic presidents too...

>> No.8812697

Like this.

>> No.8812707

Read that in Mark Hamil's joker voice.

It was awsome.

>> No.8812729

You sonova...

>> No.8812752


lol I was doing that too, made it so epic XD

>> No.8812757

I'd assume that if the Joker were somehow transported to 40k then he'd practically be guaranteed for Daemon princehood.

>> No.8812758

Fukken saved. That is amazing anon.

>> No.8812775


>> No.8812787

... Hey, bro... Your dust is showing.

>> No.8812830

looking good. Did you lose weight?

>> No.8812844

>> No.8812922

She..she's embarrassed to admit her love, guys

>> No.8813438


D'awww... She'd be adorable if she wasn't going to rip my arm off and beat me with it.

>> No.8813595

I think she just noticed that she's not wearing any panties.

>> No.8813637

>> No.8813752

Isn't that the proper way for a girl to dress when she's giving a guy Valentine's chocolate?

>> No.8813976



>> No.8813981

Yes, but usually they still wear a skirt.

>> No.8814014


What, and deny him the opportunity to peel them off her?

>> No.8814036

papa nurgle loves you

>> No.8814058

"Here is your damned chocolate, now copulate with me or I will kill you!"

>> No.8814069

>...now copulate with me or I will kill you and copulate with you afterwards!"

>> No.8814093

How would that work? Ram a rod down the corpses dick? Use severed fingers? Seems like it would be a bit cold.

>> No.8814100

>Mary Sue

>> No.8814101

She cuts off your balls and squeezes your semen out.

>> No.8814119

Why would khornette bother? What does she want with semen?

>> No.8814126

Because deep down, she's a sentimental sweetheart.

>> No.8814127


Rigor Mortis.

>> No.8814145

I bet she would beat the shit out of you during sweaty sex then try to cuddle with your bruised and broken body afterwards.

>> No.8814168

It's one of those edgy neonazi faggot kids who wears trenchcoats and thinks that Chaos is so fucking awesome and anti-establishment.

He's a pretty firm sexist, racist and everythingist last time I checked. So, in his eyes, a woman who is capable of fighting on a man's battlefield is "Mary Sue", while his super-cool Chaos Commissar who does super-coll shit all the fucking time because he's just that awesome is a perfectly fine character.

>> No.8814170

>> No.8814172

No muscle in the penis, I'm afraid. It's purely the blod that makes it so stiff.

Otherwise, handling corpses would be *really* awkward.

>> No.8814190


Were you to hold him facing downward, would pooling do the job, or is a pulse required for erectile tissue to remain tumescent?

>> No.8814201

Pretty sure a pulse is required.

Necrophile chicks generally do it by inserting a rod via the ass into the cock to make it stiff, then they do it that way.

>> No.8814225

Thank you. I've learned my creepy fact for today.

>> No.8814239


I hope /tg/ troll the shit out of his DA account already.

>> No.8814243

Artist's webpage: http://torture-device.deviantart.com/

Laugh your ass off in 3, 2, 1.

>> No.8814260

>Any person is an egocentric. A humble little chick working at a pet rehab, is, in a fact, egocentric. A lowly engineer blowing his life away pressing buttons on some metal press, is an egocentric. A microbiologist is egocentric. Even a nun is egocentric
That was as far as I could go.

>> No.8814277

Keep on reading. Shit is hilarious.

>> No.8814304


I know the rage and its pure stupidity will keep me up at nights to come. So one more time, no.

>> No.8814378


>> No.8814412

This is getting into slaanesh or nurgle territory, Khornette would clearly like a warm throbbing dick. One she could crush with her vagina muscles and spray blood everywhere when she orgasms.

>> No.8814599

sounds a little too slaanesh to me.

>> No.8814630

So basically I know nothing about Warhammer, but if I were to pledge my soul on the open market, what could each of these god dudes offer me in return for my undending loyalty and obedience in body and soul etc.

Make me a pitch in the name of your god.

>> No.8814650

If already tumescent, the blood doesn't drain out of the erectile tissue for a while. You die with a hardon, you KEEP the hardon.

>> No.8814706

similarly interested

>> No.8814809

Khorne: you will get to slaughter all who stand against you in my name. You will be granted demonic gifts that will make you strong beyond your wildest dreams (though they may also turn you into a mindless gibbering killing machine, which is win/win for me). Warning: providing insufficent amounts of slaughter in my name will reslut in you getting slaughtered in my name.

Slaneesh: You will get to be my plaything. That means lots of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Assuming I am not getting my kicks from torture at the momement, but the exquisit sensations you will experence. Demonic gifts may include extra sexual organs, senses, and enhanced relfexes.

Tzeench: You will be able to seek great knowledge and power (as a pawn in my plans). Learn the anceint magiks (if I let you keep them). As one of my valued (expendable) servants you will be gifted with magik and wards of protection.

Nurgle: I offer family. All my followers are my children, and in my love I will gift them with my greatist diseases. Your flesh will bloat and decay, making you immune to pain, and tougher than you could imagine. You will get to spread my diseases to all, and teach them the ways of nurgle.

>> No.8814818

> Nurgle: I offer family. All my followers are my children, and in my love I will gift them with my greatist diseases. Your flesh will bloat and decay, making you immune to pain, and tougher than you could imagine. You will get to spread my diseases to all, and teach them the ways of nurgle.
who the fuck would want this, again?

>> No.8814849

I'm kind of leaning towards Slaanesh at the moment, he seems like a pretty fun choice for an open minded party girl such as myself. What drawbacks does pledging my soul to him have? Why should I pick any of the other gods over him?

>> No.8814865

Hey, at least he's dependable, and he doesn't try to fuck over his chosen.

>> No.8814869

You may not enjoy some of Slaanesh's exquisite sensations. Then again, you might enjoy them all, so Slaanesh would be just right for you.

>> No.8814876

you kinda sound like me yesterday at this same time when I discovered Khorne and how wonderfully he suits me. I think I have to kill you for favoring Slaanesh though.

>> No.8814881


ok fuck this noise, I'm going to stay loyal to the Emperor

>> No.8814884

Let me offer an alternate version:

I am Nurgle. Nature knows me as the End, and so shall you. Embrace me as the Inevitable, and I shall take away your fear, your pain, I shall make your suffering the celebration of all that has been before. New life shall spring from your rotting carcass and you will be reborn, instead of being cursed with the burdens of Immortality.

>> No.8814887

It's just be very, very rough and wild sex, with her possibly clawing and biting every part of your body until you're covered with scratches and bruises by the time the night's over.

>> No.8814888

Exquisite sensations actually sound pretty good to me. Plus, if I've pledged my soul to him as an eternal slave or whatever, I figure it's up to him what he does with me, I'm not picky.

>> No.8814891

Slaanesh = enjoy always searching for something bigger and better than the last time; it's like a growing addiction.

You want to be the best composer known to man? Soon you'll surpass the greatest musicians to exist, causing a tear to the eye with the greatest ballad in the history of man, and still you'll crave more, tearing up composition after composition as nothing will surpass your old works.

You want to be the best swordsman of all time? You'll end up wandering the land alone, decapitating all who dare oppose you with nary a thought and an idle flick of your wrist, eternally bored and unchallenged.

Slaanesh gives the gift of perfection to its followers, but soon nothing is ever good enough. It condemns its followers to a life of emptiness, searching for the next big rise which will never be enough to placate them.

>> No.8814900


Because you'Ve contacted exotic space disease 235, your family has not visited you for a year and the inquisition is about to burn you after they've experimented on you enough.

Something like that usually.

>> No.8814902

Slaanesh is sort of like a drug addition. You constantly need new and greater sensations to fill the emptiness inside you. Eventually there is nothing left to experience and nothing left of you.

>> No.8814903

FEAR and PAIN can be exquisite, in their own ways.

>> No.8814911

If you are actually interested in chaos RS the liber chaotica. Explains the mindsets very well.

>> No.8814912

So basically just like regular fun sex?

So what, there are always more ways to have fun if you're not a total loser. The way I see it Slaanesh is basically the god of cool and awesome people who are the best. Where do I sign up?

>> No.8814919

Come with me!
It's nothing but shits and giggles.
And sometimes giggles and shits.

>> No.8814921

Think of it more this way:

You've been rejected before, I presume? Kicked out by friends? Left alone and mocked by others? Treated like something less? Shunned because of illness, or physical appearance, or something along those lines? Have you ever felt alone? Have you ever felt despair and just prayed that your situation could improve?

Nurgle comes in at this point. "Don't worry," he says. "I offer you my friendship and my companionship. I will be by your side where others have abandoned you. My friends are yours. I offer you family. I offer you love. I offer you acceptance in a world where you will find none, and I will grant you the ability to bring others who have fallen to despair into our fold."

You don't have to worry about being alone. You don't have to worry about dying. You don't have to worry about being a virgin. You don't have to worry about your 9-to-5 job. You don't have to worry about your family. Nurgle will take care of it all. All he asks is that you accept his loving embrace.

>> No.8814926

That actually sounds pretty kinky.

>> No.8814927

more like extravagent sex/rape/horrific torture at hir whim.

i dunno about 'cool people' but slaanesh is about hedonism, if that's what you're after.

>> No.8814930

Its true, Nurgle loves his followers, the other gods just use them.

>> No.8814946


Well, that and Triple Herpes.

>> No.8814948

Still, Nurgle is as fickle as any other Chaos God. The wrong action might make him think that you don't love him back. And a lover scorned is far worse than a master disobeyed.

>> No.8814955

See how happy this guy is?
You too can feel this way by embracing Slaanesh!

>> No.8814960

Yeah, maybe. I'm I the one doing the torturing/fucking etc. or the one being tortured and raped? Because either way I can dig it.

Where do I sign up? This sounds like a wicked fucking party.

>> No.8814969

Either. Both. And while it may be fun for a while, you'd better not get tired of it, because Slaanesh won't get tired of you.

>> No.8814973

not realy, nurgles love is that of a father, its family, its not a fickle thing to be scorned like romantic love.

>> No.8814994

If I get sleepy I can just get some like space-caffeine to perk me up. And what's the worst that could happen to me if I get tired? People will draw on me? That's so fucking awful I am literally crying IRL ;_;

>> No.8815003

Nah, it's when they start cutting that many people reconsider. Of course, by then it's too late.

>> No.8815007

Cutting what? Lines?

>> No.8815010

Nurgle isn't all about disease, you know.

Do you eat too much? Do others make fun of your obesity? Do you wish that you had the willpower to shape up, yet still end up lacking that mental strength? Don't worry. Nurgle's here. Nurgle's your friend. He doesn't care how much you weigh. Eat as much as you like. Just remember that he will always love you, no matter what you look like.

Are you out of cash? Are you desperately spending every minute of your life looking for a few Throne Gelt? Are you yet another homeless sod that has been abandoned by the rest of society, ignored by the masses and left to rot and die? Don't worry. Nurgle will offer you charity. Nurgle will give you everything you need. Who needs cash? Who needs food? You have the Grandfather's love and that's all that's needed for survival.

Pettiest example yet, but also the closest to our situation. You're a virgin. You've got no real friends. Just a few aquaintances. You're lonely, miserable and abandoned. Everyone who was and is close to you is disappointed in your. You have ashamed them all, because you haven't reached their expectations and standards. Don't worry. Nurgle's here for you. He doesn't care how much you've failed your family and friends, he doesn't care how pitiful your life's been. so far. He offers you company and companionship. Indulge in your unhealthy, lonely lifestyle, because Nurgle will always be at your side to keep you company. You'll never have a reason to regret your choices again.

>> No.8815017

You, you silly gel.

>> No.8815032

Cutting with a chainsaw strapon.

>> No.8815036

Big deal, my awesome god makes pain feel good. That's his entire thing. Plus, more holes to fuck, amirite?

>> No.8815041

A disappointed father, then.

We're on /tg/. I'm sure we all know how wrathful disappointed fathers can be.

>> No.8815043

*pant* *pant* *pant*
Am I too late!?
Sivana, don't do it! It's a trick! These are awful, horrible people who'll do awful, horrible things to you - AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY LIKE YOU LIKE IT!

>> No.8815049

are you seriously crying?

>> No.8815053

no he doesnt make it feal good, he just makes it feal more extreme, weather you think thats good or not is up to you.

>> No.8815058

Pain doesn't feel good just because you follow Slaanesh. It's just that not feeling anything is worse, and you've gotten desenzited to all the genuinely pleasant stuff.

>> No.8815074

I'm not sure I can fit that thing inside of me.

Explain! What's wrong with yielding my soul to Slaanesh?

Yes, I have frequent mood swings around this time ;_;

Is there a god that makes you spell good?

So I'll get to the pain after the sex, it's all good!

>> No.8815075

This. It's like a drug. It's not pleasant when it gets EXTREME, but it's a choice between EXTREME and nothing at all. There's no half-way point. You either turn all the dials to 11 or keep them at 0. Anything else and Slaanesh rages at you.

>> No.8815078

No, pain feels like pain. Eventually your mind will twist until it feels good, but you don't start out that way. And eventually, you become a junkie, always seeking that slightly better fix, until you reach the point where you've experienced everything it's possible to experience without dying. And then there's one final fix. Except that Slaanesh has your soul, so there's still the need for a fix you can't ever have.

>> No.8815101

Even if you enjoy it there is no guarantee you mind will be strong enough to handle it, you could always mutate into a giant chaos spawn and become a giant mindless sluglike vagina pleasuring itself with it's tentacles.

>> No.8815112

You don't understand, Siv - these people are pure, concentrated evil! They'll give you what you want, and more, at first - but then you'll start to notice they're not listening to you anymore. They'll do whatever they want to you, despite your cries for them to stop, because they don't care about you! Don't let them do that to you, Siv, it's awful! You'll only make yourself sad again, and you'll make all of us that care about you sad too! What about your girlfriend, Siv - would you really leave her behind for these people and cause her so much grief when she sees you taken from her!?

>> No.8815130

whether or not it fits will not stop slaanesh from deriving immense pleasure by ramming it in you. you will get pain before, during, after sex. torture too. as i understand it anyway. i'm new to this too. :(

also, i'm sorry you're sad. :(

>> No.8815142

Sivana I think your desire to have a baby would make you fit right in with the Iron Warriors.

>> No.8815149

...I think she's gone. And Slaanesh claims another victim.

I call shotgun on her mouth.

>> No.8815194

oh well. one less opponent of khorne. all is well.

>> No.8815198

Of course, there's always the older, more powerful, far less sane option, Dr. Sivana.

The petty little Chaos godlings of WH40K have nothing on their Mother....

Xiombarg is Ariochs brother, one of the great Chaos Gods, who most often takes the form of a young girl with a massive broadsword. She is served by voluptuous red-headed women with sharks teeth who are fierce berserk. She's the Patron Goddess of lesbian lolis, apparently. And yes, the use of 'patron' was intentional.

All it costs is blood and souls sacrificed in the name of Xiombarg. What you get is her attention. I can't say it's SAFER than playign with the petty godlings, but at least you'll know exactly what you're getting into - a fickle, less than sane Goddess who pays attention to you.

>> No.8815372

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord
He has grappled on Eurasia with a slimy pseudopod
He has shattered all the nations with one blasphemous word
And His soul force marches on

Glory glory Aza-tuu-tha
Glory glory Aza-tuu-tha
Glory glory Aza-tuu-tha
And His soul force marches on

His children slither 'cross the world to slaughter slash and maim
They raise up screaming towers in their Father's fearsome name
When you wake each morning you are never quite the same
And His soul force marches on


He has summoned all His servants from the ultimate Abyss
And set them on humanity in ways we can't resist
This is Revelation with a horrifying twist
And His soul force marches on


>> No.8815533

need some change up in here!

>> No.8815588

>> No.8815622

>> No.8815630

guess which god i like.

>> No.8815641

>> No.8815642

>> No.8815648

10 points and neon-parrot sticker for one who guesses where this is from.

>> No.8815651



>> No.8815746


>> No.8816260

WAR, duh

>> No.8816271

tzeentchette is adorable

>> No.8816303

He has a penis

>> No.8816473

and it's on fire

>> No.8819093


and this is different from my usual saturday nights how?

>> No.8819234

If you beat the all loving shit out of Khornette she would be subservient to you, all though you have a 1-10000 chance of actually managing to hurt her, it's worth a shot.

>> No.8820405


>> No.8820419

She might just appreciate the effort.

>> No.8820444

I love this tread... SO MUCH.

>> No.8820683

Well... In the end, the only thing we know for sure is that no matter if we embrace Khorne, Nurgle, Slaanesh or Tzeentch, or other heretical Gods, even if we remain loyal to Emprah, it's all because Tzeentch wills so and has so planned..

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