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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.8656531 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

We share our stories of bad game masters.

>> No.8656686

I had this DM for a few games that just decided if you succeed or not, he never really statted monsters and half the time he blatantly did not even roll any dice. He would just make up a number higher then your ac if he wanted to hit or lower if not. To make matters worse he had a ton of house rules. We were playing 3.5 so heavily modified that he might as well have made his own system. Spell casting was completely different, leveling up was done differently, even random non overpowered feats and spells were changed.

>> No.8656716

This crazy old lady who runs at our LGS is like that

>> No.8656865

I had a Dm who was ok but my worst experiences were when he played. He tried to argue that combat reflexes allowed him an attack of opportunity every time an enemy within reach made an action. Any action. Everytime they moved, or attacked, or spoke.He used a spike chain and said since trolls were beasts they could be used as mounts.

>> No.8656900

Basically played with someone trying to write his own LotR novel.

If it was Tolkien, it wasnt in the game.

The game was littered with "You're traveling to this town, it is three days away.. WHAT DO YOU DO"

Uh.. we keep walking.


Keep.. walking?


Keep walking.


I fucking hate you.

>> No.8656939

Three players in our group were elves from the same village, we spent 3 months in game to get back there and when we do there's literally nothing to do there.......nothing

>> No.8656975

Sounds like fun.

>> No.8656995

Had a game master roleplay a girl getting cunnilingus while we talked to her, followed by smoking a cig and playing his guitar out of nowhere. Also liked to have sessions on school nights starting at 11 PM, calling to invite you at 10:50 PM. If you didn't show up, he started declaring that it 'broke the feel' of the game for your character to show up mid adventure, and you couldn't come for two weeks.

>> No.8657100

Where do you guys find people like this?

>> No.8657126


He was the new kid with the Dungeons and Dragons books on his desk. I had never played a pen and paper game before, only online. Was curious.

Also, it didn't help that he got hella addicted to pills.

>> No.8657150

I've only ever heard of this man.

He runs nothing, NOTHING except either DH or Ravenloft. He often dictates to players how their characters should act, often forcing them to follow these 'reccomendations' or leave the game. He takes PRIDE in TPKs.
I've seriously heard him say, ten times in the same session, "Your character wouldn't do that." and then proceed to state what ther character WOULD and is, in fact, doing.

>> No.8657172



>> No.8657246

It was cool though, because if you missed a session and "couldn't come for two weeks" he'd still airdrop you in.

>> No.8657375

DM had no plot, but had a ton of plot hooks. Whenever we'd try to follow one, he'd intentionally get us side-tracked (he RAIL ROADED us into GETTING SIDETRACKED) and we'd have to follow his new thing because there were no other options.
We've also spent entire games making skill checks. Not roleplaying, making skill checks. We needed to help a town rebuild after an orc invasion, so he made us roll a strength check to move each log every ten feet so that we could go make craft checks on buildings. Every building. I don't even know WHY we were helping these people. This went on for hours and culminated in nothing. Thank God someone thought to look for a cart.

>> No.8657395

This sound like an epic trollface.

>> No.8657418


Just wow.....

>> No.8657464

His spell system was a weird mana system where your mana was determined by your int and wisdom added together. Also you got every spell at level one. Only if it did damage it would only to your level damage even if the spell normally said more. I joined the game around level 4. Now his way of deciding stats was roll 3d6 and add 12 points total to your stats (point for point not point by style) by luck i ended up with all 18's and the half dragon template powering those 18's up higher. I then learned that my caster level is decided by my levels in all my arcane classes added together. I started off with a caster level of 4 and the class abilities of a wizard a bard a hexblade and a warmage with the spell lists for all of them. I gained two more levels in the games i played and picked up hexblade and spellthief

>> No.8657468

Had a DM that got upset when the players did well against his combat encounters. To be fair, we had a few players who min/maxed the hell out of their characters and played them to +/- maximum potential, but he still just about had a hissy fit when he couldn't kill anyone with a CR fight 4 levels above us.

>> No.8657608

I forgot to mention. The orc invasion included trolls and homebrew tiny trolls all with their regeneration resisted only by fire and acid. The group had, collectively, one way to producing magical fire and no means of producing acid. He decided it was raining that encounter.
We were level 3. The encounter was CR 8, minus the tiny trolls because I had no means of calculating that. The ONLY reason we survived was that after at least an hour of fighting and bitching it finally got through his skull that there was no way we could do more than 15 points of damage total with the fire cleric's one domain spell. Deus ex machina townsfolk with flaming arrows to "help" us.

>> No.8657625

Oh, boy. Horror stories about a potentially aspie DM.

How about the time when we had to somehow scale a slippery, sheer cliff-face with no proper climbing gear except 100 ft. of rope between a 6-person party, and most of us had very few ranks in Athletics. Not to mention that the DC was apparently astronomically high.

And we weren't allowed to take 20.

>> No.8657782

All of these stories make me cringe.

>> No.8657911

There was an unkillable DMPC who was like a cross between Elminster, Auron from FFX, Darth Vader, and Clint Eastwood.

I stopped counting the number of times he showed up out of nowhere to save us.

Also, in the games I played before I quit the group forever, he disguised himself as a drow bard who joined our party for no reason and summoned hordes of undead and could kill people with her goth loli powers.

>> No.8657972

I put down impossible traps and puzzles: whatever they try third works and changes the plot to suit.

They haven't caught on yet.

>> No.8658026

This thread is hilarious. I kind of wish I had some horrible GM stories, but the GMs I've had have been mostly very good. However, I was pretty shitty when I first started.

I remember a campaign I GM'd that I had planned a lot and got lots of players together for. It was one of my first campaigns. It involve demons and cthulu gods, cyberpunk greatness, a betrayer in the group, and even a messiah of sorts. So you'd think "how do you fuck that up?" Well, the answer is the following:

First, close to the very beginning of the campaign give your players a bunker and easy access to surveillance equipment, then let them sit in their bunker for six games in a row with plot lines that don't ever really convince them to leave. Then kill the messiah when they go to finally hunt some demons so that they are too afraid to risk fighting them afterwards.

>> No.8658224

I made a deal with my gamers that we sit down beforehand and work out some details about a setting.

I then fashion a sort of plot beginning with a meet up, that can last a good few sessions because really, who the fuck meets up in the middle of nowhere and says "Hey you wanna raid this tower?"

I think our most productive campaign was when we started out with a story that we were friends who had done cool things before. We kinda started out on the road, it was a Kender Handler, Human Fighter, Bozak Draconian Mage and a Cleric of Mishakal. Their adventure started right on the road, but they decided to ignore my plot hook and just walk away after the Kender, so I shifted my focus to an adventure of following the Kender's map. Jesus I don't think we've had such a great session as the time they got lost in the Plains of Dust, trying to find some Daewar treasure and ended up running into a Ogre Titan and had to rescue the Kender from becoming a tasty desert.

Goddam, shitty sessions don't have to happen

>> No.8658304

When i was younger I had this dm that liked to give you excesses of stuff.

an actual encounter excript:

"You encounter a slime (discription was allways absurdly long, and i dont even remember half of it, i just remember it was like he was spewing out novels) it attacks what do you do?"

Me:(im this elven sorceress thing that got lucky with the dice and had 4 18s) I poke it with my spear.

(he rolls the dice and i crit, and one shot it somehow)

"In side the (absurdly long discripton of the slimes corpse) you find a bag, with in it you find 10k gold, 50 blue potions (he had modified the loot lists to include custom potions that did various things, red was health blue was mana for some reason, i dont even recall us using a mana baised spell system, but low and behold) 100 arrows, 20 +5 daggers..

It just went on, I had to remind him i was a fucking sorcerer and had like a 100 weight limit..

"oh its ok, you manage to find 6 bags of holding =)"

I wanted to punch him, i really did.

>> No.8658422

Game of 3.5 in a super-special OMG ORIGINAL SETTING DO NOT STEAL

-Chick DM with elf fetish
-World of Warcraft references all over the place.
-Forbidden to use things that make non-magical classes fun to play, along with psionics on the grounds that they were built to be mage-killers
-In-game punishment for not being able to pronounce the names of the gods in the Celtic pantheon, leading to removing any and all connection to divine sources from my character and refluffing my monk to be a blacksmith that likes to beat the shit out of people with his fists
-Truly legendary amounts of using Hold Person on the new player, who rolled a fighter, to allow her pet player more chances to shine with his elven gestalt warlock/rogue.
-More DMPCs than we could possibly get rid of within the span of a single gaming session, one of which was immediately latched onto by the pet player because she was half-elven
-Spending a great deal of time cackling about how short I am, then moving onto the next point as soon as she found out about it
-Riding my ass on the topic of Christianity and how Catholics are evil and oppressive and assholes, then failing to understand A) Not a terribly important part of my life, B) Protestant, and C) Uninterested in talking about this in the middle of game-time.

>> No.8658618

I fucking hate people like that. I'm not even Catholic and I think that's disgusting. If she wasn't a girl, I would have punched her in the face.

Discrimination is bad. Misanthropy, on the other hand, is a-OK.

>> No.8658732


I stuck it out for twelve sessions. By that point, we had three actual players and five NPCs following us around, I'd been repeatedly punked by several gods for mispronouncing a jumble of fucked-up letters on a cue card, and the past three sessions had been interrupted for Catholic-bashing and her attempts to intimidate me into agreeing with her.

On the bright side, before I left, I'd successfully passed a Fortitude check to avoid being turned to stone by a medusa and uppercutted a bear's jaw off with an arm that had been set ablaze by one of the enemy's bullshit powers.

>> No.8658749

SW Saga: Our characters are basically re-enacting the "Big Fat Paulie" episode of Family Guy, but Paulie is now a Hutt.

After a botched bombing attempt, my character (and only my character for some weird reason) chases our would-be assassins. After going through two destiny points and several Force points, my character still loses the assassins.

After some underworld diving, my character learns where the assassins are hiding out. After ambushing the driver (some weird rabbit thing), I get a name out of it. The wookie, who wasn't present before, rages and attempts to grapple me while a sniper from the earlier chase somehow happens to situate himself at the top of a parking garage across the street for no comprehensible reason.

So after escaping the wookie and preventing getting grappled (it was rage and grapple combo focused), my character escapes to the bottom floor of their hotel. Being too far from running range for the wookie to chase, he throws his vibroax at me.

Apparently, the wookie could throw a vibroax, which is a two-handed weapon that was not intended to be a thrown weapon, over sixteen squares with enough accuracy to hit a human hiding behind total concealment.

I now hate wookies and this GM even more. Also, fluctuating stats.

>> No.8658758

Any more stories of Crazybitch McPsychoathiest?

>> No.8658827

fucking this is terrible ugh. I hate when people bring the topic of religion into their games. The gods in D&D and most other settings tend to be REAL tangible things that break your windows if you don't believe in them.

There was a thread about an awesome paladin/blackguard a while back where a dick GM made him fall for following his religion.

Shit that infuriates me so much

>> No.8658830

Athiestfag here, bitch sounds more like some newage wiccan bullshit. Also, most athiests I know wouldnt give a shit about somebody else's religion.

>> No.8658840


Actually, if I remember correctly, she was some kind of pagan. Judging from the nonsensical pantheon choice, I'm going to say she's one of those New Age people that cobble together their own religion and claim to be deep.

As for stories, the only one that really sticks out in my mind was the last one, about the Catholic-raging and how she tried to use her more massive frame to intimidate me. I stand at 4'9". She, at something like 5'6".

A lot of "I could crush you like a bug, you arrogant little shit," met with "I don't care. Can we please move on?"

>> No.8658847

My apologies, I was over-generalizing.

Crazybitch McNeopagan.

>> No.8658853

Myself and 2 friends decided to start a fallout campaign one day, a few years ago. We DL'd some .pdfs, got everything set up and made our characters at home the day before to save time.

I show up, and my one friend made a fucking cardcaptur knock off, who uses magic... In a fallout setting. The DM allows it. I'm cool with it, because I just wanted to play a game.

However, the GM ISN'T cool with my character, because he was a Ghoul. AND ALL GHOULS ARE MINDLESS ZOMBIES IN THIS CAMPAIGN.

I never went back.

>> No.8658863


>"I don't care. Can we please move on?"


>> No.8658873

The only good neopagans are the ones that worship Odin.

>> No.8658892

No biggy. Really, except for a few douchebags, most atheists don't care if you're religious or not. Same with religious people.

>> No.8658943


>> No.8658954

I had a GM who bought into the whole White-Wolf "story" bullshit, except, instead of letting the players drive the story (basically run it as a trad sandbox game) or find a happy medium where players could offer OOC input, he'd just force IC the whole time, wouldn't let us reference anything (even if it was for combat and we didn't know the specifics on the dozens of powers we had as mages), and constructed plot devices just to push us "back on course."

"We get the fuck out of there and take off down the highway."
Some hours in game-time later.
"Ok, you're at the truck stop, and this snarling beast comes out and chases Mike's character into a dingy car, and it takes off back in the direction you were going away from."
"Doesn't he get a test to see if he can avoid freaking out and running? Can't we stop it?"
"No, you don't catch it in time, and he's too scared to avoid the trap."

Sad thing is, he was a fairly good actor, could set scenes like no motherfucker I've ever seen before (he was a musician/artist type, and not a stereotypical geek, so he was pretty creative), but the railroad thing just killed it for the group.

I would've kept him around, but when I found out he was manipulating players in *my* campaign to build the party he wanted for his own "story", I had enough.

>> No.8658955


>I stand at 4'9"

What are you, twelve?

>> No.8658974

I've basically made up my own pantheon. It consists of 12 incredibly nubile, horny bisexual goddesses each representing a certain aspect of life, and 1 straight male god.

He's the god of Luck.

>> No.8658981


>> No.8658990

Forget Asatru, do you have a newsletter?

>> No.8658998

I lol'd.

He obviously wanted you to read a book in the shade, before being attacked BAI A MONSTAR. The monster was actually just some ronery, hideous thing with a thorn in its paw and wanted you to pull it out. He would then offer you loads of gold coins, which you would use to haggle a nearby market dude, end up with a really heavy vase, that actually contains hundreds of flying pixies. Feed them the thorn you pulled out of the monster; oh snap, turns out that thorn was actually enchanted. The faeries grow exponentially, and then you ride their asses to the village. Of course, they seduce you and you have lots of sex because you fed them and they were hungry from being in the vase the whole time!

This would take approx. three hours. THAT'S OBVIOUSLY WHAT THAT GUY WANTED YOU TO DO.

Also, how did I end up on /tg/? Sorry...

>> No.8659008


I was 4'9 at around 15 or 16. To this day, at 25, I'm only roughly 5'9.

>> No.8659019


.....were you malnourished as a child?

>> No.8659027

Wrong thread.

>> No.8659037

This one Dark Hersey campaign, we were on our Inquisitor's flagship (The Gui Le Douche) and it was under attack by Ork Freebooters that the GM had stolen from RT (which made them like 2x the level they should have been) well anyway, half our group was getting bionics and was recovering in the medical bay when we tried to run away via the hangar, but instead of fighting our way through a few Meks and a big Mek who were disassembling our only escape route we decide to meet up with our still drugged from their surgery team mates and run to the "Disco room" I kid you not this ship had a fucking "Disco room" and we go up there to find the Inquisitor, Macho Man Randy Savage the team from Gears Of War (Fenix, (Dom had already died cuz he bitched about his wife being dead too much) Cole, Baird and fucking Carmine) The Inquisitor's Disciple or whatever and the fucking Ghost of John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever all fighting against like a zillion orks and a big fucking Freebooter Nob... Yea... what the fucking fuck, I mean we won the fight but the inquisitor almost died... and half out team was still "high on pain killers" fucking crazy ass GM...

wait... come to think of it...

I was the GM of that game...


>> No.8659039


This is why I like my group, we are all capable of hurting each other rather equally and generally like each other, so no such threats ever ensue when arguments take place.

>> No.8659040


I wish I could have thought of something witty to say in response to her, but I was too frustrated.


Nothing wrong with a guy that scores more regularly than he gets hurt in battle.


Close! 22.

>> No.8659041


>> No.8659063

One of our GMs was a pretty cool guy, and it sucked because it wasn't his fault at all that he ended up being a shitty GM.

He was a fantastic actor, a great storyteller, and he always had good adventures that offered every player the chance for interesting roleplaying implications.

He also had narcolepsy.

He would pass out right in the middle of a session, even right in the middle of explaining something. There wasn't really any waking him up, either, so it was just we go and do something else for the next 15-30 minutes until he wakes up. It happened at least three times in any given session, and he was always so apologetic about it that we could never be mad at him.

>> No.8659117

For a while, me and the rest of my group had one GM. He was a good GM, and we were all new players, but we eventually got better as time and are now GMing ourselves. But those are the now and good times.

Our old Gm told great stories, often had engaging characters, but near the end of his reign, he started to put us in situations that no longer were a result of our actions, but simply because he wished to see an end to the campaign. Well, I can't say why he did it, I simply suspect that he was bored and sought the easiest end to the game. Usually this ended with most or all of the party dying through asshole means. I won't bore everyone with the details on these.

But yeah, that's my Bad DM, and that's why we don't play with him anymore.

>> No.8659142


Oh geez... Poor guy.

Wouldn't classify him under Bad GM... Just... Unlucky.

>> No.8659158

So we're in a setting where there's no metal weapons or armor. We're in this village when a fuckload of orcs/ogres/etc show up, and they keep coming until we're all dead or dying. Then the DMPC is a genie who takes the form of a Gnome, who magically revives us and then suggests we all join him in "the revolution where nature comes first".
We are in the stone age.
No industry, no worked metal.
DM was drunk and smokin' the weed.
We never went back.

>> No.8659162

I joined a pirate-themed game once, where I really wanted to be a Dread Pirate Roberts master swordsman type character. So I put all my skill points into swordsmanship and so on, had one left over (BESM so variable skill costs), so I put it into the cheapest skill in the game: cooking.

When we roleplayed meeting our captain and joining the crew, my character was asked what he could do, and this exchange occurred:
Me: "I'm about the best swordsman you could ever hope to meet!"
GM: "Swordsmen I got already. Anything else?"
Me: ...Huh? Aren't we joining the crew now?
GM: There's plenty of NPCs already that are way better than you.
Me: "I can [looking desperately at character sheet] cook?"
GM: "Great, you're the cook!"

I stuck with that game for ten sessions and got to participate in one fight.

>> No.8659198


>> No.8659240

To elaborate on that, I spent ten sessions listening to the other players whine about their DEEEEEP backstories while I roleplayed, you know, cooking. Because these pirate NPCs were so great, they did all the attacking, and I never needed to defend the galley or anything like that.

Eventually we put in for shore leave or something, and I roleplayed wandering around, when the GM said that three kids showed up because they wanted to challenge my supposedly great swordsman.

I reached for my dice, and the GM said "You don't need to roll it, wouldn't it be funny if they kicked your ass? So they do."


>> No.8659242



I mean, if you had been able to be an awesome swordsman who cooked awesome meals as well while participating in any fight that was thrown at you... So be it...

But wow, your GM is an ass...

>> No.8659251

I think I just had an aneurysm.

>> No.8659255

Worst I've encountered yet is a game master who used the critical injuries table for every enemy in DH. Meaning that we spent just about an entire session fighting gobbos who couldn't do anything but just didn't die.

>> No.8659256

i've been DMing some fallout for 5 years. i will find that guy you talk about. And i am gonna add some reasoning to him. I am gonna add hard.

>> No.8659263

Plot where the villain's whole plan was to build a giant cannon to blow onyx dust into the atmosphere and raise ALL corpses from the dead, supposedly with him inside all of them, so that he could become an undead horde. For no reason except to fulfill his alignment as lawful evil. This is after the DM's girlfriend succeeded in polymorphing said villain into a salmon. Later he became an undead (somehow surviving lack of air and escaping the waterskin we put him in, regaining spellcasting ability, and putting himself inside a golem body). If pressed the smartass DM would explain it all away with some shoddy miraculous reason why the villain was able to do this and that. Also he leaves shit at my house all the time, such as his DM notes, and according to the barely legible paper the final battle was supposed to be unwinnable/TPK and we STILL managed to topple the villain, at least as well as we were allowed to.

>> No.8659275

At first, the whole thing seemed like a funny situation, but railroading a character into losing a fight because it would be funny is just lame.

>> No.8659302

At one point a player failed a jump check that would have resulted in him falling to his death down an endlessly long pit. Why it was there if he didn't want anyone to die is beyond me. So, rather than just have the character die, which the player of said character was perfectly ok with, or tell us "I'm going to stop here tonight so I can think of a reasonable means of coping with this disaster," he devoted an hour of game time to this ONE character being saved by deep gnomes.
Which all didn't speak his language.
Their language was represented by iterations of the word "deep" in various high pitches.
And suddenly, just as he finds an interpreter, the room he was in is getting smaller for no explicable reason.


He was ACTUALLY captured by kobolds while he was unconscious! And they're giving him to drow who are working with lizardfolk! To do what? None of us know! But they're all good cannon fodder for his DMPC pally to angst against. We'd all just met two in-game days ago, but he's gotta go on his emo rage because he lost a dear, close party member. Shut up, man, he was my backstory-bro and I didn't throw a bitch-fit.

>> No.8659373

Alright, so, the worst fucking DM I've ever played with.

Last Summer I was looking to start playing D&D and the new edition. I find out my friends are interested as well, and surprisingly that one of our "Friends" (the kind of guy who is only just barely your friend) is actually running a campaign.

So I say "Cool, I'd love to join, I'm mostly up to speed on the new rules, and have a bunch of ideas for a useful non-obnoxious character. Hey, do you think he'd any of the modules and supplements I downloaded?"

"Well actually we're playing an Evil campaign."


"Yeah, an evil campaign. We just took out a town last week with Vampire Horses."

"....................... okay? See you at 6."

Oh I figured it wouldn't be that bad. Sure, evil campaigns are a major peeve of mine, but what's the worst that could happen? So I rolled up insane berserk paladin who thought he was worshiping Kord but got all his power form that one eyed Orc God instead. When we all arrive I ask the DM about the setting, major plot stuff that's happened I should be up to speed on, and motivation for the party. What I got was "Custom setting, Revived Dark-Rider-esc henchmen destroying a corrupt kingdom at the will of a evil lich. We killed a few thousand people last game. The end."

>> No.8659413

>Vampire Horses

>> No.8659478

This GM was bad, but in an entertaining kind of way.

I joined his game at a club because a friend wanted us to go together, so I wasn't particularly invested in it, mostly because the GM was one of those dead-serious types. The system escapes me now, but it had a stupidly large amount of detail available. When I asked what the campaign was, the guy just said "vampire hunting" and moved on.

He comes back a while later and asks what my character is, so I tell him: An ancient Jamaican capoeira practitioner who's now a professional raver / vampire hunter.

He doesn't bat an eye at that description, just says "Well, you need some kind of superpower to be on the team." (Turns out it was a superheroes game, I guess.) So I tweak my character a little more.

Him: "So what's your character now?"
Me: "An ancient Jamaican capoeira practitioner who's now a professional raver / vampire hunter, who can... predict the weather!"

He wasn't being ironic.

>> No.8659499

>"An ancient Jamaican capoeira practitioner who's now a professional raver / vampire hunter, who can... predict the weather!"

I plan on rolling my next character to practice capoeira because breakdance fighting.

I'll throw in an obsession of figuring out how the weather will be each day in your honor sir.

>> No.8659517

> Their language was represented by iterations of the word "deep" in various high pitches.

more like

> Their language was represented by iterations of the word "derp" in various high pitches.

>> No.8659523


>> No.8659554

So the DM is horseshit. We start playing, and we have to infiltrate the next town over. But we spend 20 minutes dicking around with some war horses and a wagon that 2-3 party members have. Then 10 more minutes just with a fucking boat and loading it up with zombies.

So we finally get to the town, and we're railroaded into the only option for entry being going in through the main gate and tricking the guards. So I'm all pumped for a roll playing/ skill challenge set piece.

We give the guards the usual story about being travelers and an alibi which should have been successful. Shit was solid. Yet the DM can't take a hint and refuses to let us through. He even starts giving us shit about how the horses he GAVE the party look funny to the guards.

I say "fuck it", and I butt in, and concoct a elaborate story about how the Vampiric horses are actually rare high performance race horses imported from a foreign country. "They're an import" I stressed. So after a breakneck piece of improve that resulted with me stating one of the party was "slow", and ugly as hell, and hence why he didn't like to remove his cloak and bandages... and how the horses were "perfectly normal"......

the DM says "LOL NO" and makes us leave the horses, the "retard", and half our shit outside the city. But then we waste 20 more minutes trying to get our shit into the city until the DM finally caves and we progress. This is then followed by a ridiculous "The town is instantly over-run by the corpse minions you create who infect the other townspeople" later on, and being forced into a battle that nearly wipes the party until a deus Ex machina.

>> No.8659660

I left the game with a sensation of utter rage. So I said "Fuck this, and fuck this shit." and I called up some of the other players and said "Hey, that game sucked. I NEED to play REAL D&D this summer. How about I DM? I already picked up a lot of the rules from those Penny Arcade podcasts, and we can try out that entry level module Keep on the Shadowfell."

I have to thank that horsefucker. Thanks to his shitty DM I manned up and ran my own adventure which has largely been fucking awesome (if a little conventional). The party even managed to end up fucking awesome.

I even invited shit-DM to play under the pretense I wanted to give him a break from DM'ing and let him play as a PC. So of course he showed up with a fucking "custom" Shaman that BROKE an entire session's worth of encounters, and I swear he probably cheated with his character sheet.

Later on we lied and told him that the game fell apart, and we never invited him back to play.

>> No.8659699

You know how GMs will often try to hurry up table talk by threatening in-game action? You know, "make it snappy guys, the kobolds are getting closer," that kind of thing?

I once had a GM TPK us with that. No dice rolling, no nothing, just "Well, those guards kill you. Guess you should have been paying attention."

>> No.8659707

... that's fucked up.

Unless you sat there deliberating in combat for like an hour, that's way over the line.

>> No.8659743

>So of course he showed up with a fucking "custom" Shaman that BROKE an entire session's worth of encounters, and I swear he probably cheated with his character sheet.

Mistake #1: You let him walk in the door with a pre-gen character. That's the neckbeard equivalent of an enormous flashing neon arrow that says POWERGAMING CHEATER. You roll it with witnesses or you GTFO. And this isn't Rifts, so no, you can't play Darth Gokuverine.

>> No.8659821

This isn't so much about a bad DM I really had, personally, but one I helped deal with.

My little niece plays DnD 3.5 with some of her middle/high school friends, which amazes me because she's about 12 and can roll out a Deus Ex Machina in a second. We were at a family gathering or some shit that I can't remember, and I'm playing around with her and her sister. I'm a 6'-5 1/2" gorilla, so I'm picking them up and whatnot having a grand ol' time, and she starts making jokes about how I keep making successful grapple checks or something because she knows I play a little 3.5 myself, it's really adorable. Somehow we end up talking and she tells me all about this campaign she's in, and the DM keeps rail-roading her elf mage into these horrible situations where if she doesn't cast something JUST FUCKING RIGHT a fleeing family gets killed or something and it's really upsetting her. So we figure out a way to get me into this campaign (another high-dex lizardfolk ranger, heh) to help her out.

>> No.8659829

Next gaming session I drive my niece over to the cafe they're playing at and she introduces me to the group. I towered over these kids, the oldest being 17, and still a full foot shorter than me. So we get through the (albeit nervous) introductions and start playing pretty quickly, which pleased me greatly. They were helping some rich family escape a mansion so they can talk to the father about the clue to some loot stash etc. The place is on fire, the wife and three small kids are running through the large foier (entryway or something) and there's a giant troll chasing them. I can tell the DM (the oldest, looked like a douchebag) was setting up something where my niece was going to have to miraculously save the family from getting ripped to pieces, and she was already getting noticeably upset and her turn was two away. So my character is watching, and when it's my turn it goes:

>> No.8659840

Me: "Hm, is there a chandelier up in here?"
DM: "Wha?"
Me: "A chandelier. Is there one?"
DM: "Yeah, it's (long description), and hanging over the trol-..."
Me: "Cool. I shoot an arrow to drop it on the troll."
DM: "Woah, hold on... fine, roll for it."
Me: *Natural 20*
DM: "Uh... another one!"
DM: *obviously displeased, with everyone staring at him* ..."Fine. The massive crystal chandelier crushes the troll. Hurray."

The rest of the group sigh's in relief, which tells me this has been going on long enough to where they could see it coming 4 turns away, and my niece's head practically rips in half from the smile she gives me. After that, the DM only tried to pull something like that one more time, but halfway through his set up I crack my knuckles in a very loud, menacing manner, and he quickly changes direction. We actually ended up having a good time with the rest of the campaign.

>> No.8659869

Bad DM thread you say? Allow me to nominate myself.

>> No.8659896


But hey, well done if it actually happened.

>> No.8659916

I operate my table on the basis of trust. Trust to not be a dick. Trust to play fair. Trust to get along with everyone. He violated that trust

A few months later I sat in on another game he put together. Almost as ridiculous. He made a big deal out of a new character joining the party, but then gave no ledge to stand upon and build a story off of, and wouldn't retcon him in after it became an issue.

So we travel into a magical high-rise apartment to find a dude.... and we break into his room... did some rather bland investigation of the room... only to then find the dude in the closet. He was a naked, raving drug fueled berserker... and we had a 30-40 minute "encounter" where we sat around beating on the guy. His HP was too high, but beating him unconscious and not killing him was too slow, so we said fuck it and tried to tie him up. The DM said LOL YOUR ROPE FAILS.

We got so bored half the party wandered off to investigate the other rooms of the apartment mid fight. We got so fed up we worked out how many turns it would take to bash open the wall and throw the fucker out the window. "Won't that kill him?" "With as many hit points and the kind of stats he must have, I'm sure he'll be fine. Either way it's not worth it."


>> No.8659923

This one time, I got totally stuck. I couldn't think of any good way to advance the plot in any meaningful direction, so I just threw thrash mob after trash mob at the party to buy me time.

>> No.8659932

This happened to me at a convention in Indiana, playing 4th edition modules:

My paladin's got a Giant Ant riding mount, (Large creature, 2x2 squares in size) and I use an equivalently-sized beetle fig whenever the mount comes into play. The first module I use this character in at the con is being DM'd by an older lady with giant glasses who doesn't appear to be all there.

Seeing the beetle fig, she asks what it is, and when I tell her she perks up and goes "Oh! I've got an ant you can use" and I'm like, "Oh... umm... okay cool" and she proceeds to go digging through ziplock bag after ziplock bag of figs looking for it. 15 MINUTES PASS, and my friend from back home leans over and says "Dude, you broke our DM" just as she finally finds what she was looking for.

She pulls out a little gummy-rubber ant that doesn't have a base, hands it to me, and we move on.
I didn't use my mount during that module.

God, it was sad.

>> No.8659954

Ugh, that sounds painful.

>> No.8660000

The ultimate lesson of this thread? Never play D&D with Players or a DM that you couldn't punch for being a dick, and then laugh about it over a Beer later that night.

>> No.8660052

>The game was littered with "You're traveling to this town, it is three days away.. WHAT DO YOU DO"

>Uh.. we keep walking.


>Keep.. walking?


>Keep walking.


Keep moving.

>> No.8660062

>>make a neutral good character who just wants to make the world a better place
>>party is full of "IM CHAOTIC NEUTRAL" characters
>>lots of bad shit happens to my character, including the DM purposely going out of his way just to see stuff happen to my character
>>character doesnt change and tries to stay the same
>>DM thinks i'm trolling, purposely makes everything harder for me and character almost dies several times
>>character is forced to become selfish and paranoid
>>rocks fall everyone dies because the DM was bored

>> No.8660077

This was pretty bad. The group for which I GM had no game going at the moment, one of the players had the brilliant idea of running a game himself even though we were down a few players. Normally when we do dungeon fantasy we use GURPS, mostly because we switched to GURPS when I stated GMing for my group after they stopped playing with their old GM because they didn't like dungeons and dragons 4th edition and wanted to use a generic system so they could play different types of games without learning new rules. So this guy decides to run the game in Dungeons and dragons 4th edition, because, and I shit you not, he was too lazy to stat fantasy monsters in GURPS.

This is what happens when you A) Can't run a game worth a shit B) Invite certifiable retards to the group to make up numbers C) Decide to change to a system that your group has previously given up because they didn't like it prior to your joining.

Picture related.

>> No.8660082


She was a doddering older lady, and for what it's worth did some good RPing with the NPCs later in the module, but by god if I didn't look like a little kid with an PS1 who just got an N64 memory card from his grandmother.

>> No.8660086

Additionally, the black drawing/red writing was the DM's brother.

>> No.8660091

>B) Protestant,

Fucking lol.

>> No.8660100

That is spectacular victory indeed.
Also, fuck that DM.

>> No.8660143

GM had a crush on his one female player, constantly bended the rules and outright cheated for her benefit (let her make any magic potion with her 4 ranks in Alchemy and no spellcasting, etc.)

That's not so uncommon, really, but this GM took it to the next level: apparently he felt the need to cockblock the rest of us, so everything we tried to do in game was received as if we were retarded, to make him look better by comparison.

Four guys unable to get anything done, and constantly mocked for it, and one girl sailing through every challenge. Feels bad man.

>> No.8660191

God damn. So many. I have a general dislike for people who say 'roleplay not rollplay' because of a specific GM who would rage whenever we beat his encounters and would be like 'Thanks for breaking the game, guys, maybe you should try 'r-o-l-e-playing instead of r-o-l-l-playing' but whenever I would try to act in character he'd be like 'let's keep the story moving guys.' He also showed pretty blatant favoritism to some of the other players in the game. Basically he was a huge dick the whole time, I don't know why I put up with that shit. Oh yeah, because some of the other players were fun. Plus it was fun to kill Kyuss in 2 rounds without taking any damage and watch him facepalm.

>> No.8660273

I do that all the time for my girlfriend when she is playing in my games. Of course, we are playing SotC and she has to pay a fate point like everybody else...so...

>> No.8660340

Adventure saved by half-giant uncle!

>> No.8660407

He gained a +5 to niece saving.

>> No.8660539

Having a premade character isn't unfeasible, especially if you're using point buy. Hell, I'd prefer it over making the character at the table; saves time. He should still have given it a look over to make sure all the numbers add up right and all the choices are legal, but done properly it's a perfectly fine and even polite thing to do.

>> No.8660582


It might just be personal bias, due to the fact that the absolute worst of the aspie grognards I've personally encountered never went anywhere without a premade character sheet handy, and they dove on the chance to tell you just how SUPER AWESUM SPESHUL the character is like starving hyenas on a newborn baby.

>> No.8660613

please forgive my english.

/tg/ i'm making my first ever dnd character, i thought i would run it by you guys to see if
its vialbe(i dont want to minmax, but i want to be able to pull my own weight) i got no idea for
feats cus my dm told me to just come up with a concept, name, looks, weapons, armor, motovation, backstory
that kind of thing and he would help me with the rest. anyway her goes.

a female fighter in full plate with a helmet or hood on constatly
(i'd like no one to know my character is female, can i pull this off?)
i want her to claim to have a horibly scared face and thats why she never
takes off the helment/mask, she is adventureing since the best she could
do as a woman is marry some commoner pop out a few kids and live her life as a
homemaker, she dont want that.her dad and brother where great adventurers, and they allways
told tales of thier deeds, she want to at least experience that before settleing down.
i want her to have a sword and sheild, thats perfect since they need a defender any way

she took care of her ill father till the day he died, the next day she took his armor,weapons and horse and
spent some time as a mercany(she had been training secretly with them for months)

age: 20
hight: 5,7
name: no idea, need help with this

if you guys can think of any way to make her backstory more interesting
i'd love it, or if you could tell me whats feats would be good, i'll just write them down.

how should i prioritize my stats as a defender

pic related i'd like her to look like this minus the boob plate and long hair,plus a cloak and hood.

>> No.8660696

I've had one that tried to force mating season when we had all furry characters(By his request, the group did not like it but rolled with it) Among other things he did was including several fetishes, including, but not limited to gender bending, futa, tentacles, transforming(Not like the robots), and gangbang attempts.

The group did not approve of this, but lucky for that guy, he redeemed himself after doing a full campaign(That was actually fun for everyone) without any kind of sex in it(Except the reference that the bard had fun in a back room during a tavern stop, but that's fitting.). So I guess he was a bad DM, and then changed to a good DM after the group threatened to leave him.

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>> No.8661164

So as a DM what do you do to be a good one? Where do you draw the line between letting your players mess around creatively and railroading them onto your plot?

Because while these stories are indeed hilariously bad, I'm sure we all have experienced the opposite: Players that just dick around, go terribly offtrack and ruin the DM's set up story.

>> No.8661252

As DM, I make several plots, and insert them into a game world. The players will be starting off without a quest, and they can either mess around on their own, providing their own fun, or take one of my many questhooks that lead to adventures.

I make 15-25 quests for every time a game starts, it's a bit of preparation, but it's worth it. Besides, I can just recycle the ones they don't take.

>> No.8661261

Fuck me, this threat is shit.

So: We don't like railroading, we don't like not knowing what to do, we don't like hardcore simulation, we don't like stories, we like bitching.

>> No.8661302


> Whining from passive-aggressive problem players who were unable to muster the confidence or social skills to deal with the situation.

>> No.8661312


ITT: Many people, none of them "we".

All of them dislike different things, depending on the circumstances and skills of their DM

Then some commie storms in and starts talking about "us".


>> No.8661326


Hm, interesting. I might use this. See, I'm thinking of starting out DMing for the first time with some of my friends and I have what I think is a pretty good story laid out...but I don't know how I'm going to be as a DM. I'm not very good at improvisation, so if my players go off-rail, I don't know what to do. :/

And yet I don't want to be "that railroading DM" if I want to keep them to my story.

Wat do if I want to keep my players on my story? Find a way to gently weave their path back into my story? Or just let them have their fun?

>> No.8661329

However: The term "Bad" is used as an objective descriptor rather than "something I disliked at the time", suggesting that individual stories are representative of a violation of an agreed-upon social norm.

>> No.8661344


Both. Have plenty of pre-fab side content ready for them to screw around with if they so choose, and have it all lead back into the overplot.

>> No.8661366


>Find a way to gently weave their path back into my story?

If you can manage to do this, you're on your way to having a pretty good experience for everybody. Your players get to have their fun/curiosity rewarded, while you still get your story.

The key is to get them back onto your rails without them realizing it.

>> No.8661423

Improvising is an important skill for a DM, but it is nowhere near as important as planning. Plan out your first few sessions, get a feel for how things work. Make sure you keep the game interesting for the players, it's easiest to do this by having one big quest that's more of a long term goal.

It's easier to keep characters railroaded in dungeons and tunnels, players also accept that more, if there's walls there, they usually can't be breached.

Most of all..Always have fun. If the DM has fun, he is more open to the players, which in turn lets them have more fun. (As long as you're not a sadist)

>> No.8661435

And now back to our regularly scheduled bitchfest.

>> No.8662848


>I operate my table on the basis of trust. Trust to not be a dick. Trust to play fair. Trust to get along with everyone. He violated that trust

This might be the best quote I've heard in this thread.

>> No.8664417

I'm sorry to hear you're a bad GM.

>> No.8664584

Our former DM had this fucking nasty habit of giving his semi-gf all the stupid shit she asked for, even though everyone else complained about it in disgust.

These inlude:
- A talking fox that had some sort of dual-mini lances mounted on it's back
- An overweight young Black Dragon with fur
- One of those blue monkeys from Rokugan as a companion

But one of the most stupid moments came when we were starting, or rather continuing, a campaign that featured the monkey I mentioned earlier. So my char, who's a moustache-twirling show-fighting magnificent bastard (Swashbuckler/Duelist/Rogue/Bard or something like that) comes down to the tavern after a long night of drinking and lovemaking. The first thing he sees? A sixteen year old girl dressed in fucking kimonos accompanied by a gigantic, talking blue monkey (campaign took place in the Sword Coast, yet her character got plotported from Rokugan or some shit). Said monkey then immediately comes up to him and offers him a bag of gems in exchange of helping them on their journey TO BASICALLY KILL EVERY NON-METAL DRAGON IN EXISTENCE. My character basically went 'fuck that', at which point the DM starts to rage at me how I'm 'not playing in character' and 'deliberately trying to go against the plot'. He then went onto his balcony and raged for five minutes, including almost breaking his hand from punching the walls.

>> No.8664690

I only once played with a GM who was really bad. We had decided to do a side campaign where each member of our group would GM one session, so our regular GM could play as well. The one player from our group who would go first obviously had no interest in GMing at all, and did not put the least bit of effort in it. First of all, he got the idea for his story off the Internets. Now, that is not bad in itself, if a little lazy, since he had literally changed nothing about the plot hook. I say plot hook here, because there was not even enough here to call it an adventure.
The idea was that a fire and a water elemental had somehow switched their domains, so water now burns things and fire cools stuff. I could go on about how that made no sense in the setting we were using, but I am willing to overlook that. So, at the beginning of this adventure, the party gets into a rainstorm and discovers that the rain burns them. They proceed to go into some nearby farmer's home for shelter (which somehow did not burn down for some reason). We just lounge around a bit and after a minute or so, the GM seems to think that things are not going fast enough. He tells one player: "You get hungry and decide to raid the food cabinet. There you discover a trap door." We get some story about how that farmer's grandfather was some kind of necromancer or something, and there was supposedly treasure to be had below this farmhouse. What followed was a bland dungeon crawl that lasted about an hour, some fight against a mummy that was way too easy and us convincing the elements to behave normally again.
I have played with a few GMs who are not very competent but at least try. This guy just put zero effort into his game, and that was what made it terrible.

>> No.8664753

I would be laughing at that prissy little bitch and his girlfriend.

>> No.8665267

Here's my story about a bad DM. He wasn't that bad at DMing, but his personality.... just unbearable. Liberal to the max.

So one day one of the player's father(who is a psychologist) asked us to take some college kid in the group (i think he was 19). The guy was seriously depressed and had an Avoidant Personality Disorder or something like that and mr.Dad thought that playing with a group of people would be good for him. So we took him in and started playing.

My god was it awful. Our DM, in his usual fit of political correctness, put up with almost any bullshit from this guy. Gimped his character? Oh, that's ok, i'll help you make a new one! TPKed the party? Not his fault guys, let's just explain what he did wrong and forget about it! Nearly TPKed the party again by fucking up a diplomatic conversation? But guuuys, you're still alive!

After two sessions i got fed up with the idiot player, told him that he's a fucking failure and advised him to get the fuck out. And than the GM kicked ME out, because HURRRRR U HURT HIS FEEEEEELINGS. Seriously, kicking an old-time player out because of some retard? What the fuck :/

>> No.8665288

Let's be fair here; clearly he didn't belong in the game, at all. But you also sound like a huge fucking dickhead.

>> No.8665352


Actually, considering the fact he was a new player with absolutely no experience in the game beforehand, i think this goes beyond being a complete fucking dickhead.

>> No.8665393


I'm pretty hard conservative but if I was in that DMs shoes I probably still would have done my best to accommodate the new guy, assuming my players were good enough human beings to realize the guy had problems and to help ease him into it.

>> No.8665404

>> No.8665443

This isn't just a single DM, but many. I'll keep this short and sweet.

Me: I draw my sword and attack
Shit DM: Okay, that will provoke an attack of opportunity
Me: Wait wut?
Shit DM: Drawing a weapon provokes
Me (feigning ignorance): Oh... really? Is that a house rule?
Shit DM: No, it provokes
Me: Never mind... I five foot back and huck a javelin

To any faggot DMs out there who think drawing a weapon provokes, it fucking doesn't. Read the god damn rules. Every time I get a shit DM they seem to think that pulling your fucking sword means you get hit.

>> No.8665543

ITT: White Knights.

There's nothing noble about tolerating idiots.

>> No.8665559

What? The GM didn't tolerate any idiots. Good end.

>> No.8665570

>someone diagnosed with a disorder

>> No.8665585

WTF is an Avoidant Personality Disorder?

>> No.8665618

Adults who don't like social interaction.

>> No.8665635

Go home, Beck, you're drunk on Fox-cable again.

>> No.8665640

Yes, i do not need to tolerate him. Retards should go and play with other retards.

>> No.8665643


no, you fail to understand.

This is about cutting out the fucking cancer at the heart of one's gaming group.

>> No.8665668


Wow, i wonder why he decided to kick you out of the group then?

>> No.8665673

Two sessions and you were ready to kick out some one who had 0 RPG experience. I would say you should have still cut the guy some slack.

>> No.8665685

Yeah, that's what your GM told you. He didn't want your retard ass in his group. And you fucking agree with that. What the hell is the problem?

>> No.8665725

More like "adults who are afraid of social interaction because they could do some little thing wrong and then EVERYONE WILL HATE THEM FOR ALL ETERNITY, so they just sit in a corner and try to be as unnoticeable as possible".

>> No.8665728

from google health:
Avoidant personality disorder is a psychiatric condition in which a person has a lifelong pattern of feeling extremely shy, inadequate, and sensitive to rejection.
People with avoidant personality disorder are preoccupied with their own shortcomings. They form relationships with others only if they believe they will not be rejected. Loss and rejection are so painful that these people will choose to be lonely rather than risk trying to connect with others.

>> No.8665759


>> No.8665774

You were a jerk, man. Own up.

>> No.8665777


This is deeper than hurting someone's feelings, fucktard.

>> No.8665785


0 RPG experience and some serious issues.

>> No.8665792

Really, you were just being a jerk. The guy didn't have any experience roleplaying, and he screwed up a few times. Who cares? You probably did the same thing when you first started roleplaying.

>> No.8665795

Like I said before;
Opera = extra carriage return in post = troll = opinion worthless.

>> No.8665805

And he told this guy that he's a failure and should GTFO? Ow.

>> No.8665831

How is it deeper? I told him what a failure he is, he got butthurt, then DM got butthurt. End of the story.

>> No.8665859

No, the end of the story is that YOU'RE now butthurt and crying about it on an internet forum.

>> No.8665866


>> No.8665881


It's a psychological illness.

What part of PSYCHOLOGY don't you understand?

>> No.8665887

Man's got severe psychological issues, and you were whining about his tendency to screw up as a newb player.

His Avoidant Personality Disorder wasn't even the problem here. Hell, if I were DM, I would have told you to GTFO just for being an asshat to the new guy. However, since you decided to be an asshat to the guy who already has even goddamn problems that he doesn't need your assholery adding to it, then you've pretty much gone from being "dumb asshat" to "guy the DM is no longer willing to put up with."

>> No.8665938

The part that states that idiots should be lumped in with normal people instead of being kept with other idiots :/

>> No.8665939


Probably also amazingly awkward for the doctor who went out on a limb to attempt this kind of therapy to treat a legitimate mental disorder and wound up making things worse.

All because "heh heh that newbie was totally harshing my game, guys! Newbies should go get a life."

So in one fell swoop you alienated your friend, a potential new player, and caused your DM's father some considerable inconvenience.

Not sure if troll.

>> No.8665960


woooooow, so you're going to exclude every single person in society you think is an idiot?

You have issues, man.

>> No.8665981

That's especially hard because most of society is made of idiots.

>> No.8665983

Every time I see a troll post on /tg/, it has an extra space between the lines of text, like >>8665267 has. It's a cunt's callsign.
By 4chan's posting mechanics, that means he's posting via Opera. Therefore, Opera = troll = disregard.

>> No.8665984

You sound like a total douchebag, man. I'm glad I don't game with you. Not a team player, either.

>> No.8665995

He WAS an idiot. "On no, i'm shy, that obviously means that i deserve to be treated better than others". Fuck this shit.

>> No.8666008

>Not sure if troll.
If you have to ask, it probably is.

>> No.8666015

Thread was great, then devolved into this faggot ass argument.

>> No.8666018

Have some hints:
1. No one is normal. Everyone is a little fucked up. Avoidant Personality Disorder isn't even that bad of a "fucked up" compared to what most people have to deal with.
2. Avoidant Personality Disorder isn't "lol I'm a tard." We don't separate out people who can function in society save for problems socializing. He was probably in the game to help correct that problem. If you'd given him a couple of weeks, so he could learn how to bloody play, he probably would have turned into a pretty decent player.
3. You're playing a god damn tabletop game. If the worst you have to deal with is some guy who's shy, you've gotten off well.

>> No.8666034


So, now you're saying it's wrong to expect people to get along with each other and not go fucking apeshit at the drop of a hat, and that anyone who DOES expect this is an idiot who thinks they deserve special treatment.

You either have an inferiority complex, or you're being a complete and utter fucktard.

>> No.8666055


>monty haul

Are you a girl? That would explain it. That would explain it nicely.

>> No.8666080

Never said anything like that. I'm usually calm and polite, i just hated the way this tard was getting all HURT and SADDENED every time i pointed out some stupid thing that he did.

>> No.8666102


The Shermanator? In MY /tg/?


>> No.8666106


The more you describe the situation, the more convinced I become that you're some kind of autistic retard. Incapable of comprehending social cues much?

>> No.8666107

Well, you'll have to forgive us, but that's what you're coming off as.

So, instead, you got pissed off at his moping, and decided the best way to solve this was to kick him out of a game you aren't even DMing?

>> No.8666159

What cues?

>> No.8666162


What precisely did you expect him to do, say "Thank you mr. experienced player, i didn't realize i was doing it wrong, please allow me to lick your shoes"?

If it was me, i'd be tempted to flip the table over and ram your face through the fucking floor.

Of course, that would be before i reminded you i was new to the game.

>> No.8666175


>What cues?


>> No.8666188


>> No.8666204

Hey, what's the source on the OP pic?

>> No.8666235


(ノ`□´)ノ ⌒┻━┻

>> No.8666271

Har har har.

No, seriously, what cues? He just sat there doing stupid things over and over again. I'm not going to act like a benevolent fairy godmother just because somebody cannot take an insult without crying.

>> No.8666280

I actually have a terrible group in general.

No one works together, no one plans characters together, there is no semblance of teamwork. The DM doesn't even try to incorporate our characters into the plot and the last 3 sessions the same goddamn thing happened. We go out, fight raptors, nearly die, fight something else, nearly die. Session over.

There is no plot exposition and over the course of 10 hours (god forbid anyone wake up earlier than 1pm on a Saturday), we get literally shit all done. It is fucking terrible and I have had enough of it.

>> No.8666298

Why the fuck were you insulting a new player who you know has serious issues with social interaction?

>>8666106 is right. You sound aspie.

>> No.8666314


No one was asking you to act like a fairy godmother, they were just asking you to make friends with some RPing newbie.

Do you have some sort of antisocial disorder you haven't told us about?

It would probably explain this whole fucking thing.

>> No.8666316

> red was health blue was mana for some reason
That reason: Diablo.

Okay, here's my story. After two months of cajoling and convincing, I finally get two female players into our gaming group. Both are fun girls who are hesitant about D&D because, let's face it, most of the players out there are dorks. But they know most of the players in the group, so at the very worst, we all sit around drinking some beers and being geeky.

The first few sessions go great. I'm the DM at this time, and I run us all through a little intro adventure, stealing some shit from a minor noble. One of the girls charms the noble's wizard, enabling the party to get into the tower. Super good roleplaying. The other girl comes up with an idea during the escape. They're excited about the whole thing, and want to come back for the next adventure.

Now, in this group, we rotated DM duties, phasing out the DM's character for each session. He'd be off training or visiting family or whatever. One time, the DM's wizard made a brief appearance... like, we went to the town library, and there he was, studying a new spell. But that was it.

But this next DM... well, two girls in the group, idiot DM, and a pre-made DMPC? Gee, what could possibly happen?

There were tentacles, penis monsters, naked ladies chained in the dungeon, a near-total PK, and a miraculous save by the DMPC. In the first hour of gaming. Of course, only the girls' characters survived.

Both of them quit gaming forever after that.

>> No.8666328


That sounds pretty grim.

Imo get everyone drunk before your next game.

>> No.8666339

I have just literally thought of pulling out my own eyes after reading that, but decided that my boss would like to keep me alive.

>> No.8666397

>cannot take an insult without crying
Here's something. If you know someone has a social disorder, try to have some empathy and not insult them. Constructive criticism is always preferred over blatant insulting. Hell, do that even if a person DOESN'T have a disorder. It's just common courtesy. "You are a tard" doesn't help anyone improve. If you're not willing to even TRY and help someone improve, you don't have any right to complain about them.

>> No.8666404

>Why the fuck were you insulting a new player who you know has serious issues with social interaction?

Because he done stupid shit, duh. Normal people learn to overcome their shyness instead of weeping because somebody called them a failure.

>> No.8666410


You forgot to call him an asshat.

>> No.8666438


DO WHAT I SAY! DO WHAT I SAY! MI NPCS ARE BETTER THAN YOU! YOU RE NOTHING IN THIS HISTORY, YOU ONLY CAN SEE MY NPCS DOING EVERYTHING! TWO WAYS, LEFT, RIGHT. AND IN THE RIGHT WAY I PUT A RED DRAGON, SO GUYS, CHOOSE WITH FREEDOM. (Hur hur, in the left way there is a black dragon, because i dont want anybody alive because i like to KILL PJS when im the DM because i suck as player.

>> No.8666447

Did he seriously cried? Just curious.

>> No.8666463


And we're back to the "i'm better than you" argument.

"Normal" is something that people label themselves as a pre-conditioned ideal that they are somehow better than other people.

In short, someone who calls themselves "normal", thinks they're better than someone.

So in short, you think you're better than the newbie, and you didn't hesitate to put him in his place.

Even people you would consider to be "normal" would think of you as a fucking faggot.

>> No.8666469

Stop being a prick you douchebag.

>> No.8666486


Yeah, I get /k/d out sometimes.

/tg/ is a fun little vacation spot. I love reading these guys' wacky stories and shit.

>> No.8666514

Yes. After i finished telling him my thoughts about idiots who fuck up everything he got redin the face,sat there for a ten seconds or so just staring at the table, then mumbled something about being "very sorry" and fucked off to the corner. I heard him weeping on the way there.

>> No.8666532

God, my sweet old grandmother would have kicked out out of the group.

Who gives a shit if he fucked up? It's a goddamn game, you aspie.

>> No.8666545

No man, games are srs biznss. Empathy be damned.

>> No.8666573


If this tale is true, you're a douchebag.

>> No.8666584


Wait, what you just said there is interesting, because it implies that you've dealt with people with psychological illnesses before.

Are you sure you weren't just stigmatising the poor chap, you know, like some people stigmatise people with AIDs even though it doesn't transmit unless through an exchange of bodily fluids?

Why are you so afraid of accepting you did wrong, btw?

>> No.8666602



>> No.8666603

I'll just leave this here, and remind Pagans that most of them converted to a superior belief almost a thousand years ago. Anyone claiming they are Pagan nowadays either has their head up their asses, or is in a sex cult. (See: Wicca) So very little of the proto-germanic religions were written down, outside of the Christians inserting themes from the native populaces' into their religion to aid with conversion. So how do you know any of that which survives is valid? Especially in regards to the beliefs?

>> No.8666611

There was other bad shit in there too... crappy railroading, the incredibly valuable and rare treasure awards (to the DM's own character, no less), custom monsters with incredible powers that only worked on male characters (but the penis monster's psi only worked on female characters), and the fact that he spilled grape pop on my pool table. You'd think there'd be only so much stupidity that could fit into a single session, but you'd be wrong.

The game even continued for two hours after the party wipe, while the rest of us rolled new characters and the DM tried to railroad the girls further into his game (the rest of us kept making out of game conversation to spare them). We ended up playing crazy 8s.

The small idiocy all pales in comparison to the loss of two good players. And the loss of my own credibility when I had promised them that no, we weren't a bunch of horny fucktards living out weird fantasies in my basement.

>> No.8666614


Actually i believe in shamanism, which is pre-paganism.

So you can shove your superior belief up your ass.

>> No.8666622


>> No.8666654


Damn right, nigger.

Hey, if you're gonna go all religious and crazy nd shit, you gotta go religious and crazy with >STYLE.

>> No.8666664

Why are you ENCOURAGING him? It was a bad thing to do.

>> No.8666702

No, never meet anyone with a psychological ilness before. No stigmatizing, i hated him for his actions.

I refuse to accept that i was wrong because i believe that i was right.

>> No.8666719

Wow, you are the WORST kind of scum. This is like kicking over a kid in a wheelchair for getting in your way on the sidewalk.

What the fuck is wrong with you.

>> No.8666721


> doesn't understand the slow clap.

> "In some cultures, slow, synchronized clapping by displeased audience members is considered not applause, but the opposite: a form of heckling, or an expression of mocking dislike or disapproval of the performer. The person being slowly clapped at may interpret the clap as an insult, and a sign to leave the stage."

> "Slow handclaps are used widely in yet another popular dramatic device, this time both beginning and ending with a single actor. The clapping is usually accompanied by ironic dialogue such as "Well done", or "Bravo" to indicate disbelief of or show scorn for another character's comments."

>> No.8666757


> never meet someone with a psychological illness before.
> never meet someone
> never meet.
> meet.

Also, i sincerely fucking doubt it.

>> No.8666794

Oh, sorry then. Thanks for explaining it to me.

>> No.8666815


Happy to oblige, my good chum.

>> No.8666889


>> No.8666905

You fucking monster.

>> No.8666906


Excellent trolling. Masterful. You got at least five people to reply in angry tones.

>> No.8666922


Calm down, i was trying not to force it down his throat, instead hoping he would simply see the civilized progress we were making and that it would somehow have an impact.

Of course, i suppose he's probably reading this now and quietly raging his faggoty ass off.

> sigh.jpg.

>> No.8666986

>because really, who the fuck meets up in the middle of nowhere and says "Hey you wanna raid this tower?"

Heh. You've never been to /b/, have you?

>> No.8667015

Here we go again......
I just told him that he sucks. Why is it MY fault that he is a crybaby?

>> No.8667033


Because he can't do shit-all about it?

>> No.8667042

Because you are like a person that breaks glass because he can.

>> No.8667053


Or to extend the metaphor, he is the kind of person who, upon seeing a button marked "do not push this button", will hit the button immediately, without hesitation.

>> No.8667093


Extending this metaphor further, he is the kind of person who would hit the button willingly, knowing that it would cause great physical and mental pain to another.

>> No.8667131

He should've stayed at home instead of annoying everyone with his antics. As i already said: "On no, i'm shy, that obviously means that i deserve to be treated better than others".

>> No.8667132


To extend this metaphor to an even greater height of metaphorical creme-de-la-creme, one could say that he is the kind of person who would hit such a button that would cause immense pain not only to another but also to himself, even though it is marked do not push this button.

>> No.8667150


> sigh.jpg.

He wasn't asking to be treated better than others, where precisely did this judgment of him come from?

Unless you're the type of person who rages at every little thing he can, of course.

>> No.8667156


>> No.8667159

Goddamn, enjoy your autism and lack of new friends.

>> No.8667165


Yes, but you were treating someone who has NO PRIOR EXPERIENCE in RPGs with contempt because of this, and then sheer faggotry because they have a mental disorder.

>> No.8667194

If you see a baby that is crying, do you kick it because it makes loud noises?

>> No.8667239


Ah, that would be my elder brother.

>> No.8667265

He done stupid shit. I confronted him about it. He got butthurt. Conclusion: he thought that i should treat him better.

I'm not autistic. And people in the group weren't my only friends.


>> No.8667279

So its his fault he was expecting to be able to game with people without you being an asshole towards him?

Again, it still sounds like you were angry at him for getting upset on occasion, and thus decided to drive him out, in the hopes of avoiding "people continuing to be easily upset" in the game. In a game you weren't even running, no less.

If anyone has the right to kick someone out, its either the GM, or the majority of players. Not a single player with a complaint.

>> No.8667304

There's a certain difference between a baby and a 19 years old male.

>> No.8667306


> 1. If someone treated you in the same way, wouldn't you think they should treat you better?

Also, you didn't actually answer my question on why you thought he thought he should be treated better than others.

It sounds to me, actually, that you are even more guilty of this than the person you showed such negligable consideration to.

>> No.8667321


We were all that age once, kid.

>> No.8667322


Late to party, I hate you so fucking much. It makes me a little sick to know people like you exist. If troll, 10/10. If not, die.

>> No.8667338


I really, really hope that you're just trolling, because otherwise you are a massive faggot and a terrible person.

>> No.8667353

1) Did it ever occur to you that he might have wanted EQUAL treatment instead of special treatment?

2) Doesn't sound like it.

3) You already forgot that the psychologist father sent this student to your group? Jeez, worst troll ever.

>> No.8667357

Even if he is a troll, he is a massive faggot and a terrible person.

>> No.8667361

He's got shyness to the point of it strongly negatively affecting his life, and preventing normal functioning. That's a mental disorder. You said yourself that he was diagnosed with it. And don't pretend it isn't just because it doesn't sound like one to you; you aren't a psychologist, and you aren't him. You don't know how fucked up his life is. Don't pretend you do.

You said he was stupid. He got upset. That's not asking to be treated better than other people. That's asking to be treated as a normal person. You get upset if people call you stupid, don't you? Sure, you don't cry about it, but you aren't diagnosed with a mental disorder involving low social aptitude.

Grow a god damn backbone. Own up to your mistake, and try to be more accepting and flexible in the future.

>> No.8667387

As i was saying, this guy hates on people for what he thinks is them acting like they should be treated better.

And yet he shows no actual awareness of the fact that he is acting as if the things HE says and does are more important than the thoughts and opinions OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE ROOM.

Raging fucking faggot A+.

>> No.8667395

If i wanted to belong to some group, and members of this group treated me like this, i'd stopped and thought about what did i do wrong and how can i fix it.

It is his fault that he was unable to not act like an idiot.

>> No.8667411


If you look at my response of "I'd of flipped over the table and rammed your face through the fucking floor", i sincerely think you wouldn't.

>> No.8667433

Well, we're a forgiving bunch. We won't blame you for being such a tard. It's just how you were born, and we'll try to accomodate your stupidity as best we can.

>> No.8667435

Psychologists also tend to believe that Asperger's Syndrome is a real ilness.

>> No.8667456


Okay, it's confirmed. You ARE a massive faggot and a terrible person. Even if troll.

>> No.8667457


>> No.8667458


Are you a psychologist?

If not, shut the fuck up.

>> No.8667471

And you're (ostensibly) a well adjusted adult. So you're angry at the guy for being maladjusted. Which you knew when he joined the game.

Also: bullshit. People don't usually "try to fix it" when someone outright insults them. If they've got good self esteem, they get pissed off. If they don't, they take it personally.

Case in point: several people have said you're stupid for being an ass to a newb player. You haven't tried to correct your mistake. You've continued posting, insisting that you're right, regardless of what everyone else says.

>> No.8667473

ITT an asshole tries to defend himself, and fails, because he is blatantly an asshole.

PRO TIP: if you told the story in a "I just snapped at him because of all the stupid, feels bad man" light, it would be received much more positively than "SERVES HIM RIGHT FOR BEING A RETARD LOL".

>> No.8667483

How is that related to my post? Where's the connection between "he was sent there by the psychologist" and "they believe Asperger's exists"?

>> No.8667486

It is.

The mistake you're making is "people who claim to have Asperger's Syndrome actually have Aspergers." Nine out of ten times, that's not true.

>> No.8667499

>I am better qualified than medical professionals to judge whether or not an illness is real

Personally, I think allergies are bullshit, and people with them need to just MAN UP.

>> No.8667517

And so the Bad DM thread became simply the Bad Thread.

/tg/ is so easy to troll, people troll it by accident.

>> No.8667524

Meh. I still think that i'm right, but since you guys are SO SURE that i'm not, maybe i'll go and apologize some time later.

Though i'm pretty sure that i'll just waste my time :/

>> No.8667525


If you want to post examples of bad DMing, go right ahead.

>> No.8667549


Hey, man, we need our rage.

>> No.8667550


> meh, i still think i'm right and haven't listened to a single thing any one person in this thread has said.


>> No.8667579

Good man.

If you're still certain its his fault, trying talking to your DM's Psychologist parent about it. Odds are, he'll point out that most of the "stupidity" you saw came from the fact that the poor kid was nervous as hell, and people are REALLY stupid when they're nervous.

>> No.8667608

I really hate the kind of people who think being "conservative" translates to being a rude uncooperative shithead to people. They give a bad name to us real conservatives.

>> No.8667611

Allright, i'll ask him.

>> No.8667626


> i hate people who hate on rude uncooperative shitheads.

fix'd that for you, my good chum.

>> No.8667700


Finally, you're becoming human!

>> No.8667809

Have a box of kittens, hater guy. Maybe it'll cure your black shriveled heart.

>> No.8667830



>> No.8667858

>Move out of parent's home in Tennessee
Awesome! Getting started with my life!
>End up in New York City
Jesus Christ, look at all the buildings!
>Obtain place to live, work, and all that jazz
Wonder if anyone plays Dungeons and Dragons around here!
>Find players
Fuck yeah!
>Beverley Hillbillies references for six hours

>> No.8667878

Our DM is pretty good and fair with everything but we were doing one campaign and we were entering a tower to kill someone and as we were going up we had to fight some other people. My friend had made a character with 25 AC at level 1 (D&D3.5) and we thought we'd be invincible against everything. NOPE. DM rolled a 20 four times in a row and knocked us all out. We stabilized and continued playing but it pissed me off.

>> No.8667906

If you have an accent, try to quit it. If you find another group to play with, don't mention you're from out of state. This group already knows so there's no stopping the damage.

>> No.8667913



>> No.8667930

>My friend had made a character with 25 AC at level 1 (D&D3.5) and we thought we'd be invincible against everything.
Magic missile.

>> No.8667940

I am guilty of being a bad DM. I've pulled the dream thing, I've had fluctuating abilites, I've had rocks falling, and probably more than I can think of.

I try to avoid it nowadays.

>> No.8667947


True. Luckily for us the DM didn't think about that.

>> No.8668071


>If you have an accent, try to quit it.

I did that, actually. By the time I got involved with another group, I was free to talk how I wanted. And then I found out that I revert when beer is involved.

>> No.8668098

Tell them you think they've taken the hillbilly shit way too far. If they can't accept it (they're from NY of course they can't be friendly) you should find a new group.

>> No.8668139

I think... I'm the worst DM I know.

I also have, most likely compared to the least experienced members of this thread, almost no experience.

I tried a Rifts campaign where I had 2 of my good friends make ninjas. I was going to get them settled in, every week introduce a mission and a cool bossass hard target to kill each time. I had a couple good concepts for characters but we didn't get past the first mission.

I had a Serenity campaign which I crafted into a Zed Apoc handcrafted world that featured a young man searching out, archiving, and perserving knowledge in the world through the now scarce books in the US. (Far before the Book of Eli shit)

That didn't get past the second mission.

I just repeat myself, always forgetting details. I never make outlines or make too much of an outline and end up reading. I enjoy the ideas I have and once I began to speak it just sounds awful.

I think I also make a bad PC also... Maybe I should just stop completely.

>> No.8668145

Wait, fa/tg/uys, did you just actually convinced an angry bigot to rethink his ways?

>> No.8668228


>> No.8668272

Your picture and your statement contradict each other

>> No.8668379

I think he reads Jojo.

>> No.8668418

I assure you that you are mistaken.

>> No.8668420

Practice makes perfect, bro. Try making outlines for DMing. For gaming, just type up some notes on your character. You'll get better with time.

>> No.8668715


Start getting all Deliverance on them

>> No.8668718

The DM ran a few WFRP games for us before we, um excluded him from our little club and put another of us as the DM.
He decided he'd run an adventure that won some kind of competition or something. The party was in an inn somewhere far from any city or town. There was also an another party there, npc. Well, we've witnessed them arguing, then some of them died mysteriously. All of the time there was this raven hanging around, repeating names. Me and my bro (well, this dude's character who's a bro to my character) decided together that it's probably a trained animal belonging to someone from the other party. I added that they indeed looked like they were from a circus, and we were like DOHOHOHO. Please note the DM heard us talk. The other party member was like "ok, whatever" and the last one was like "Sounds sensible".
Once the raven even woke us up in the night - after a short reconsideration I threw a rock at it, missed, and went back to sleep.
There was also this good-looking barmaid. My bro said something along the lines "Hey pretty, what's..." and the DM uttered the most annoying and retarded TEEHEEHEE ever. God. We couldn't stop laughing.
The last day we wake up to find the inn on fire. Me and my bro check other rooms, find the rest of the NPC party dead, shrug, then loot their stuff.
The DM was all >:| at this point.

>> No.8668732

We run out, to see the last remaining NPC fighting the barmaid, who's turned all demonic and all. So we help defeat her, she falls to the ground, and the third party member cut her head off.
And the DM is like "Well, that's the end of the adventure."
He explains that the raven was a messenger from Morr the god of death, and that he was saying the names of people getting killed. We were supposed to save them. I said "Wait, you heard us agreeing it's a normal bird, why didn't you make his eyes glow or something, to emphasize his supernaturalness?"
He had this defeated face.
He also said that the barmaid was possessed and we weren't supposed to kill her after shoving the demon back into the Warp.
Then we bugged his ass to find how much we were gonna get for what we looted.
It was all just so pointless.

>> No.8669033

>>8666986 Yeah buddy... I'm a little late in coming to this party and all..... but god damn..... I mean avoidant personality disorder if firckin crippling. that just hurts. I mean be offended and all but next time make the learning curve a little less steep and know what you are dealing with. new can o' worms.
>>8666175 Also this. Funny funny funny

>> No.8669037

We smoked weed every game and nothing was ever accomplished because of it. is this awesome?

>> No.8669039

DM was a railroad conductor who was writing fiction and wanted some background minor characters with flavour, enter our characters. Except, he didn't explain we would be two bit chumps in his little fantasy masturbation fest.
All of the NPC were either Lawful Stupid or Neutral Evil, especially the clergy of Neutral and Chaotic Good religions. This was because the DM despises all organized religion, so it is all Evil in his game.
Fucker brings Soviet snipers and Muslim torturers into what was otherwise a shit Ravenloft game.
NPC punches deal Con damage.
The Paladin never falls, even when he does Chaotic LOL things.
The only way to change an NPC's mind is to use mind control magic, even charm and they will only refrain from attacking us.
The weakest NPC we ever fought had 37 HP, he was part of a regular mob.
If an NPC is with us, the DM fiat kills them with attacks from creatures that only deal 1d8 damage, despite the fact that the NPC has demonstratively survived over 40 damage when were were in a landslide.
Oh, and none of our class features work, only attacks and spells.

>> No.8669117

Wow..... that made me lol. it IS a real disorder even if half the self diagnosed people make it seem false, I know somone with this disorder, he is like Spock, no emotion and with the memory capacity of a fucking supercomputer. Coll guy just don't expect him to be socially anything-at-all as he is completely incapable of empathy and emotional reasoning.

>> No.8669141


> implying people are incapable.

> sigh.jpg.

>> No.8669299


I had a guy like that in one of my groups, years ago. He was one of those master memory magicians that could cite the page number of any given rule you cared to ask him. He kept track of the wizard's spells, the barbarian's hit points, the rogue's equipment, and the appropriate modifiers for any skill check that we might need to make.

The best part was that he could also roll with whatever new circumstance that the DM cared to throw at him. Penalties applied to attack rolls because the ground is slick? Okay, sure. Five sessions later, he could bring that circumstantial rule back up and have it work in our favor by pointing out that the rogue of the group has huge Balance and Tumble modifiers.

The only thing I remember him sucking at was character details. Names, height, weight, hair and eye color, background. It was either not mentioned or someone had to give him a hand with it.

>> No.8669361

Anyone from suptg, the IRC channel handled by that website or #DungeonOOC

>> No.8669665

I agree with you completely.

On a side note, someone has to archive this thread from when the guy brought up the story about tearing into some dude with issues over nothing. This would make a fucking unbeatable you rage you lose thread.

>> No.8669895

Just take a bunch of screencaps and make them into one big picture.

>> No.8672679


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