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8398164 No.8398164 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Catachan: First Blood - gory adventure movie about heroically-thewed guardsmen on a hellish but no-doubt-fictional jungle planet

Battle-Brother Susan - heartwarming comedy about a female chapter serf who disguises herself as a man to go through Space Marine training alongside her twin brother

Ow! My Greater Good! - 90 minutes of Tau getting kicked in the crotch really hard

>> No.8398172

(I'm planning out an Imperial movie theater terrain piece, and I need something to Photoshop into the posters)

>> No.8398176

I second the last panel

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>> No.8398207

Das Imperator - Emperor class battleship stuck in the warp with failing gellar fields

>> No.8398218

Can Love Bloom?: the Motion Picture

>> No.8398239

>Ow! My Greater Good!

hahaaaha oh wow, i lol'd


Chaos undivided: [120 minutes of just static]

eldar: oceans 11, 12 and 13 - or any other "just as planned" movies

>> No.8398250

Me and My Titan

Animated feature, hilarity ensues when a farm kid on an agri-world finds a dormant Warlord Titan buried in a field of space-corn. The Machine Spirit is strong enough to give it the personality of a loyal dog, but the mean local Mechanicus thinks they need to destroy it for tech heresy! Can a young boy convince the techpriests to let his "pet" serve the Imperium instead of being turned into scrap?

>> No.8398264

I Was A Teenage Redemptionist - a tale of youthful zealotry GONE MAD in a world THAT HAS BEEN TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. By Scavvies.

>> No.8398271

>>8398250
More like "Iron Titan". Boy's name is Hogarth.

>> No.8398297

Inquisition IV: Still Pimpin'

Latest in a series of schlocky "hereticsploitation" films featuring action star Brucius Lee and a bevy of bosomy beauties in need of a purging.

>> No.8398306

>>8398271

That's what I was going for, but I thought "Iron Titan" didn't make much sense as a title.

>> No.8398313

XENO - Horror movie about a genestealer infestation on an Imperial supply ship after trip to a supposedly dead planet.

>> No.8398321

>>8398164
Pitch Black Crusade

>> No.8398335

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0150401/

I'm not going to say it.

>> No.8398338

Eventus Horizonus

>> No.8398344

Genestealer vs Dark Eldar 2

>> No.8398346

Primarch Patrol: the Movie

Long-awaited big-screen version of the sensationally-popular children's show. Rumors persist than an important character (possibly even Roboutimus Prime?) will die at some point in the movie to make way for a new line of toys.

>> No.8398352

Saving Private Ryan - A Guardsman is trapped deep behind traitor line.
Stalingratus - A Fortress planet under siege by enemy of the Imperium.

>> No.8398353

>>8398164
Law-Abiding Inquisitor
A radical inquisitor, on trial for heresy, may hold the clue to finding an unbound daemon-host who happens to be his own child.

>> No.8398361

Sororitas Gone Wild! vol MMMXII

>> No.8398372

>>8398352
>Stalingradus
Never heard of Stalinvast Grenadiers, eh?

>> No.8398373

Preceding every feature is a WW2-style newsreel and a cartoon short with Wile E. Coyote as an Ethereal trying to abduct a ratling.

>> No.8398374

>>8398344
Whoever loses, we win

>> No.8398379

Coming this Emperor-mas.
Dude, Where's My Baneblade?
Now in exciting PSYKER VISION!!!

A Stubbs production.

>> No.8398380
File: 143 KB, 897x638, 1253474620448.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8398380

"By Blood Redeemed"

An Ecclesiarchy-funded film about a wayward hive youth who realizes his sinfulness and repents of his wicked ways before the Immortal Emperor. He joins the local Guard in order to do penance for his sins and valiantly gives his life for his comrades and his God during a dire xenos invasion.

Throw in some other characters, a few special effects and some... what are they called, "one liners"? It will be not only entertaining, but spiritually enriching! Now to cast the lead role...

>> No.8398388

The Road Arbitor
Maxamiumulus Rokistancy, an officer on a penal colony must struggle not only to stay alive while driving his supercharged Leman Russ across a barren continent in pursuit of the eascaped arch-anarchist Toe Cutter but to keep his faith in the emperor and humanity.

>> No.8398390

Children of Khorne

>> No.8398395

ASTARTES - Delicious propaganda, about a crack squad of Ultramarines defending an Imperial Agri-World from an Ork WAAAAGH.

The Folly of Idleness - A cautionary tale involving a group of high-born teenagers being slowly seduced to the Ruinous powers, then ruthlessly hunted by the Inquisition and their agents. Rumor has it that it contains actual footage.

>> No.8398401

Arbiter Dredd
American Psyker
Robin Hood Prince of Scum
Marbo II
Void Born Supremacy

>> No.8398406

Okay most of these are TV shows instead of movies. *shrug*

Thunderhawk Down.

Dads PDF (Theme Song : Who do you think you're kidding Warlord HiltSkrog)

NHAD (Necromunda Hive Arbite Division)

Arbites (Auspex relay crew following around real live Arbites as they bust vicious felons)

Inquisitor Judith (Heretics and mutants stand trial for their crimes, friday is execution day.)

Avatar. (Good honest Imperial Troopers bring death to the filthy deathworld loving xeno, including some freakish body swapping traitor/heretic)

Hades Hive. (Tale of the heroic defence of Hades have, as told from the perspective of legendary PDF sniper.)

Tyranid. (Mining vessel touches responds to distress beacon from the unexplored moon of ymargl)

Tyranids. (Lone survivor of ymargl moon disaster returns with a platoon of hardened Imperial Guard to kick arse and take names.)

>> No.8398408

Marbo- 1 Hour 20 mins of Guardsman Marbo doing what he does in Ork territory.

>> No.8398421

Enginseer Frediminium Dibnah's Visual Cornucopia of Fascinating and Most Unusual Cogitators, Logic Engines and Data Slates: Director's Cut.

>> No.8398424

Beauty and the Xeno

Animated musical. Will the lovely, intelligent, and chaste Sororitas Belle be forced to marry an Ork Warboss? Not if Chapter Master Gaston and the Emperor's Antlers have anything to say about it!

>> No.8398425
File: 79 KB, 350x218, Epic Smiley.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8398425

>>8398390

>> No.8398426

Miles Edgeworth : Ace Inquisitor

>> No.8398442
File: 325 KB, 800x700, 1254290789980.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8398442

Fear and Loathing in Commorragh

>> No.8398447

Machine Cult of the Cave Bear

>> No.8398451

Hive Saints - Two brothers go on a crusade to rid their hive home of scum in the Emperor's name.

>> No.8398452

Mawloc Day

>> No.8398462

The Passion of the CREEEEEEED

>> No.8398475

City of Blood Angels

>> No.8398478

Donnie Darko (Imperial Assassin drops a jet engine on rogue psyker before he can go critical and doom his world to daemonic infestation.)

>> No.8398482

Being Olando Pius

>> No.8398484

>>8398424
By the Emperor's Name, Fund it!

(I now am trying to imagine Gaston as a Space Marine Chapter Master..)

>> No.8398486

The Chainswod in the Stone

>> No.8398493

Independence Day - a startling cautionary tale of a rogue world falling from the Emperor's holy light, only to face the righteous wrath of His most holy Inquisition. Has boobs in it too.

>> No.8398496

The Perfect Warp Stom - In just 20 hours a freak warp storm sweeps across a system claiming many ships.

>> No.8398513

Kill Flabius Bile
Kill Flabius Bile II

>> No.8398516

Honey I Daemonhosted The Kids

>> No.8398520

>>8398424
YES, SO MUCH YES.

>> No.8398530

>>8398478

NOW THAT MOVIE FINALLY MAKES SENSE

>> No.8398538

m41.012

Overblown, zeitgeist-tapping disaster film starring Johann Cusakius

>> No.8398550

The World Eaters of the Dead
Dances with Space Wolves
The Da Vinci Codex

>> No.8398552

I would start Photoshopping up some posters for these movies, but I don't have it here at work, alas.

>> No.8398576

Sequel to The Davinci Codex: Space Marines and Daemons

>> No.8398579 [DELETED] 

Dr. Strangelove

Some fucknut Krieg commander went totally ape...oh well, luckily exterminatus has been invented...

>> No.8398580

>>8398164
Adamantium Man: The history of Tonycus Stark an Admech that escapes imprisionment from a Cultist group by crafting a Dreadnaught in a cave, with a box of scraps.

>> No.8398585

Arbites Mechanicus: Arbites is maimed and murdered by hive scum but is brought back to life thanks to a cabal of Techpriests. Now he's back to kick some ass. Action.

Cloaked in Glory / Glorious Bastards: A group of Imperial infiltrators are sent to a renegade colony and start a reign of terror upon the populace. Action, drama.

Composit Dogs: A group of guardsmen hold out in a warehouse, waiting to be evac'd with a valuable black box. But is there a traitor amongst them? Action, suspense.

The Ratfolk: A mild-mannered ratfolk is taken from his underhive by an Inquisitor and his height-challenged retinue on their journey to find adventure and riches. Adventure, animated.

All Imperial Dogs go to Paradise: A hive scum is resurrected by the Emporer to redeem himself by finding a young, wayward Sororitas find a home. Family, animated.

>> No.8398598

Are We Space Marines Yet? A Salamander's adopted family's young, aged 16, 16, 17, and 18 are all accepted as Neophytes.

>> No.8398600

Der Untergang

A historic drama about the last days of Gorge Vandire during the second siege of Terra, and his assasination by Alicia Dominica

>> No.8398610

The last Gue'la: a moving tale of an Imperial Guardsman stranded on a Tau planet. He learns the xenos ways and starts to appreciate them, to the point of becoming a honorary Firewarrior. When the Emprah's armies arrive, he helps his xeno hosts to fight them off. Que Exterminatus including a scene of Guardsman Thomas Kruze dying horribly.

>> No.8398617

Sin Hive

>> No.8398619

GORBLДT:
Lurnins wat oomies do so Iz can tell da Boyz abouts it

Widely known Imperial comedic actor portrays GORBLДT, an Ork correspondent who is on assignment to examine Imperial Hive culture and life. His wacky antics draw unknowing Imperial citizens into controversial situations stemming from cultural misunderstandings. HILARITY ENSUES.

>> No.8398633

Dr. Strangelove or How I stopped worrying and learned to love the exterminatus.

>> No.8398640

Comissar Academy(1-7) a popular comedy series about a group of Comissar cadets.

>> No.8398644

>>8398633
Inquisitor Strangelove, then.

>> No.8398671

>>8398644
Nah...psyker, maybe. Bionic arm n stuff...

set on Krieg. Now you know why it is such a craphole it is now

>> No.8398689

Augustus Powers
A rouge and sexy Inquisitor from planet Brittania, is send to destroy the "Death star" a powerfull ship captured by Dr.Demon.
Comedy

>> No.8398697

>>8398689
Baby eating Ogryn...

>> No.8398698

Exterminatus Now

>> No.8398719

In His Majesty's holy secret service.
The man with the golden psycannon.
The cultist who loved me.
Live and let purge.
Quantum of plasma.
The warp is not enough.

>> No.8398722

The Day Holy Terra Stood Still
The City of Lost Emperors Children
The Daemon Prince of Tides
The Silence of the Lamentors

>> No.8398738
File: 70 KB, 550x309, grizzlyman1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8398738

The Tyrant-Man

Narrator Werner Herzog warns good imperial citizens about the dangers of Xeno infestation, Xeno Love and rough psykers. Based on an acutal material.

>> No.8398752

On Mars: An assassin fucks up a job by killing an innocent. His inquisitor tells him and his partner to wait on Mars until further notice. Cue sightseeing, drugs, midgets and attempted murder.

>> No.8398758

>>8398719

>Quantum of Horus

Fixed.

>> No.8398782

Eric the Space Wolf.

>> No.8398825

Cadian History X

>> No.8398862

A'ni'mal Sept: The story about a drunken frat of Delta Delta Tau.

>> No.8398901

Tzeentch's Labyrinth:
A tragedy about a commissar who is given the task to eradicate a small group of traitor guards while his wicked step-daughter is secretely being influenced by a Lord of Change to spoil the commissars plans.

>> No.8398940

Al'ah'rem of Tallarn.
Da Fast and Da Shootiest.
Terra Girls are Easy.
Bill and Ted's Bogus Heresy.

>> No.8398962

>>8398940
Now I wanna make a Tallarn army with a commissar lord named Larrance.

>> No.8398988

>>8398962
Thief of Tallarn

For racing fans, there's Gorkamorka Nights.

>> No.8399008
File: 121 KB, 1024x768, Terminator-terminator-297644_1024_768.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8399008

"Ferrum Vir".

On a word recently reclaimed by the Imperium of Man from the devastation inflicted thousands of years ago on it during the Age of Strife, a machine awakes. And it wants to rebuild its master...and is willing to do anything it takes to realize this.

Can the AdMech and the Imperium stop this technological nightmare from achieving its aims?

>> No.8399014

We were guardsmen.

>> No.8399028

The March of the Kroot
Dark Angels in the Outfield
The Deathwatchmen

>> No.8399089

Mel Brooks Presents Springtime For Horus.

>> No.8399098

Chaos Undecided
Roboarbiter
Band of Battle Brothers

>> No.8399133

Indianus Jonesica and the Black Crusade

>> No.8399135

Gran Torinus
For a Fistful of Thrones
For a Few Thrones More
Titanicus
Imperium Hospital
Groxville
The Constant Guardsman

>> No.8399179

Once Upon a Time in Segmentum Tempestus

>> No.8399261

Saving Neopyte Ryanus

>> No.8399278

Hope someone archives this.

>> No.8399315
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8399315

When a tekno-voodoo practicing AdMech adepts accidentally downloads his mind into a vacant Necron body, hiliarity ensures and high adventure awaits!

>> No.8399345

Enemy at the Cadian Gate. Nuff said.

>> No.8399367

Indianicus Jonesica and the Temple of Doom Eagles

>> No.8399372

Revenge of the Neophytes

>> No.8399382

>>8399372
Alternately

Revenge of the Nurglings

>> No.8399394

Flabius Bile's Day Off

>> No.8399428

>>8398600

So is the scene where Vandire freaks out in high gothic endlessly re-subtitled on ImperialTube?

>> No.8399467
File: 45 KB, 250x250, fight all of us.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8399467

>>8399428

You be it is! Imperials everywhere get over the tragic days with humorous subs such as "Vandire gets pranked by Creed".

>> No.8399517

A man of plasteel - a story about Imperial citizen, who, despite traps set by cultist, manages to live a life as a pure servant of the Emperor.

>> No.8399527

A Spore's Life: a small colony of Tyranid spores lives much as a hive city, though larger spores threaten the smaller ones' existence!

>> No.8399553

>>8398600

In the same vein- Inglorious Sororeetas.

>> No.8399555

The last King of Drookia

>> No.8399569

>>8398164Ow! My Greater Good! - 90 minutes of Tau getting kicked in the crotch really hard

"what's a Tau?"
"I dunno"

Tau are mostly unknown to the majority of the Imperium.

The only xenos everyone knows 'bout is Ork freebooters and Eldar corairs

>> No.8399570

>>8399553
Except with more tits and action.

>> No.8399578

>>8398160
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>> No.8399598

Wouldn't Event Horizon be a documentary in WH40K?

>> No.8399613

>>8399598
Nah just "based on a true story".

>> No.8399645

>>8399569
Pirates of the Segmentum Obscura!

>> No.8399818

Planet of the Jokero

>> No.8399857

The Dark Grey Knight (sequel to Brotherhood Begins.)

>> No.8399881

Children of the God-Emperor.

A xenoplague stops humanity from reproducing, one loyalist finds the last pregnant woman and tries to get her safely to Terra.

>> No.8399899

>>8399598
its the prequel to 40k

>> No.8399915

>>8399428
-Maybe, if the baneblade company stikes from the left...
-"But Sir, we have lost 100 baneblades."
-"Anyone who is not a retarded, get out of this room"
[SWEARING IN HIGH GOTHIC]

>> No.8399922

All Quiet on the Western Front.

A lone guardsmen finds that intergalactic warfare is not as glorious and beautiful as claimed by his superiors and trainers.

Ironically, this film was banned for heresy shortly after release.

>> No.8399951

Chronicles of Narnius: Lion El-Johnson, the Witch Hunter, and the Wardrobe.

>> No.8399995

-The pure, the heretic, and the abhuman: a western in a far arid planet in Ultramar Sector.
-Bad Boys: Ravenor and Eisenhorn are acused of being radical Inquisitors and they have to proof their innocence.

>> No.8400015

The Usual Heretics:
Required observation by prospective Inquisitorial acolytes. If they don't spot the twist in the film before it is revealed, they aren't selected. If they get it wrong, they are punished.

>> No.8400028

OK it has too be done

The Sororitas of the Traveling Pants

>> No.8400063

TA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! OR NOT TA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

DAT IZ NOT DA QUESHTUN. ORKZ ALWAYS LOOKIN FER A SKRAP.


TA GIT SHOOTY OR TA GIT CHOPPY.
*DAT* IS DAT QUESTION.
WEVVER ITZ MORE ORKY TO IGNOOR DER STOOPID PANZY GUNZ, OR TO GO OVER AN CLOBBER 'EM GOOD.

>> No.8400078

>>8400063
ALAZ POR YORIK, HE GOTZ BLASTED REL GUD!

NAO LADZ, REMEMBA: NEVVA LEND OUT DA TEEF AND DONT BE BORROWN NONE NEIVER, CUZ YA GITS WILL LOSE DA TEEF AN CRUMP DA OVVER BOYZ WUT BORROWED EM TOO.

...EY... YA KNOW... FINKIN' BOUT IT, DAT SOUNDS LIKE A ROIGHT GOOD WAY TO START A SKRAP! LEND OUT DA TEEF WHENEVVA YA WANT, BOYZ!

>> No.8400126

The Cermamite Menagerie

Plastisteel Magnolias

Tropic Thunderhammer

The Perfect Stormshield

Terminator II: Arbitrium Dies

>> No.8400130
File: 25 KB, 300x465, Fiddler_on_the_roof_poster.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8400130

Mekboy On Da Hut - A story of Tevzog, a Warboss on a crashed hulk and his attempts to maintain his WAAAGH and orky way of life while outside influences encroach upon their lives.


“A mek-boy on da hut. Sounds a bit daft, yer? But 'ere, on our stinkin' planet of Gorkamorka, youz moight say we'z all mek-boyz on da hut, tryin' ta clobber

WHAZ DAT WEH CALLIN? DAT WICH WE CALL WARRGH BE ANY ALSE WUD BE AS GUDtoogever a deffgun wivout breakin' our necks."
If I wuz a rich nob,
Gorka morka morka, dakka dakka zoggin’ zoggin’ zed.
All day long Oi'd be crushin’ sum ‘eads.
If I wuz a wealfy nob.
Oi wouldn’t ‘ave to bash grots.
Gorka morka morka, dakka dakka zoggin’ zoggin’ zed.
If I were a toothy toothy rich,
Choppy-toofy-stompy-stompy nob.

I'd build a ‘uge gargant and kans by da dozen,
Roight in da middle of da hulk.
Wiv armour plates an’ grot riggers down below.
Dere would be one long gun arm, all shooty like
And one ta chop those t’ings wot skulk,
And one more wiv a banner, just for show!

I'd fill mah pens wiv squigs an ‘umies an fings and grots
Fer da boyz to see and ‘ear.
Screamin’ very noisily just becoz .
Wiv each loud "AHHH!" "EMPERA’ NO!!" "*gurgle*" "*STOMP*"
as a boy lops off d’ere ears,
Will let dem know "’ere lives a wealfy boss."

If I wuz a rich nob,
Gorka morka morka, dakka dakka zoggin’ zoggin’ zed.
All day long Oi'd be crushin’ sum ‘eads.
If I wuz a wealfy nob.
Oi wouldn’t ‘ave to bash grots.
Gorka morka morka, dakka dakka zoggin’ zoggin’ zed.
If I were a toothy toothy rich,
Choppy-toofy-stompy-stompy nob.

>> No.8400157

Inquisitor's Eleven
Titanicus, a tragic tale of the galaxy's largest transport
Band of Brothers: Battalion of IG fight a squad of Space Marines

>> No.8400196

>>8399995
But Eisenhorn and Ravenor both ARE Radical Inquisitors D:

>> No.8400219

I demand archives.

>> No.8400283

>>8399278
>>8400219
Even if it doesn't get archived, there's always this:
http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/tg/thread/8398164

>> No.8400284

The Sorcerer of Prospero

>> No.8400304

Battlefield Terra. A movie centering on some very large, and hairy humanoid xenos trying to invade Terra. One of the Imperium's best comedies.

Mr. Gene's Holiday. A hilarious movie about the antics of a Mr. Gene, a genestealer cultist, trying to make it to the world of Cannes VI.

>> No.8400335

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

>> No.8400339

Remember Nimbosa

Courageous folk hero Colonel Graff, and a retired Imperial Roughrider Davidicus Croketii (From the greenest world in the Empire's Fief), fight a hopeless battle against the teeming hordes of commander Brightsword to defend the monastery-city of Nimbosa from the Tau invaders.

Reviews!
A stunning tale of sacrifice and faith. Breathtaking. ~Inquisitorial Review~

Shame about Croketti, sounded like a cool guy. ~The Hero of the Imperium, Ciaphas Cain~

A classic story, heartwarming and tragic at the same time. ~Inquisitor Eisenhorn~

What in the Emperor's Bowels is a Tau? ~High Lord Van Der Kamp~

>> No.8400393

Lord Macrage of the Rings

Alice in the Warp

Who Framed Roger Ratling

The Necron

The Necron Returns

>> No.8400423

>>8400339
Born on a Mountaintop in Clemency, greenest world in the Empire's Fief,
Raised in the woods so he knew every tree, killed him a kroot, when he was only three,
David Crok-ettius, king of the wild frontier!

>> No.8400484

we were guardsman once ... and proud
story of the catachan 7th cavalry making repeated valkyrie troop insertions to landing zone X -Ray in the face of overwhelming ork forces

>> No.8400490

>>8399014
We were guardsmen once, and alive?

>> No.8400891

Teenage Mutant Ninja Abhumans

>> No.8400993

>>8400490
But... There's gotta be at least one who made it out to tell the story, right? Right...?

>> No.8401101

>>8400196
>But Eisenhorn and Ravenor both ARE Radical Inquisitors D:
First scene is an elderly gentleman surfing a monolith down a tidal wave before jumping off and pimpsmacking a Governor.

>> No.8401262

Alhardius - the story of how a young downhive thief freed a trapped daemon that promised to grant three wishes....
....and ate the foolish boy as soon as it was freed.

NEVER TRUST DAEMONS

Pale-as-Snow Ulanti and the Seven Abhumans - A rich uphive girl escapes the tyrany of her clan and makes a home with seven squat but kindly abhumans....
....who rape her for several days before eating her.

NEVER TRUST ABHUMANS*

*Except those officially approved by the Administratum

The Governers Daughter and the Jokero - A servant girl wearing the dress of the governers daughter mistakenly kisses a Jokero claiming to be a transformed noble and she is herself transformed into a Jokero...
...after some wacky adventures the witch who transformed his malformed slave into a jokero to lure in unsuspecting youg women to be sacrifices in his blasphemous rites captures and kills the young maiden.

NEVER TRUST WARPCRAFT

>> No.8403330

White Scars Can't Jump

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