Quantcast
[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games


View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
[ERROR] No.8352990 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

KATANAS >> OTHER SWORDS

>> No.8353006

This thread again...

>> No.8353018

>> No.8353029

oh my.

>> No.8353036

>>8353006
This fag again...

>> No.8353038

>> No.8353062

>>8352990
Fuck you bro

>> No.8353065

>> No.8353082

>>8353036
pot and kettle etc etc

>> No.8353102

>>8353082
I'm not sure green tea works like that.

>> No.8353106

rolled 15, 13, 8 = 36

Look at the gif.

>> No.8353122

>>8352990
That's actually pretty good form. Sage for troll though.

>> No.8353130

Hey, OP.

We have documentation that this is false.

That is all.

/thread.

>> No.8353146

>>8353102
not sure if trolling or stupid.

probably both.

>> No.8353159

ohlookthisthreadagain.jpeg

>> No.8353171

>>8353146
At least I can grammer properly.

>> No.8353193

The katana in the gif is clearly not one of the real ones, but one of the shitty stainless steel variety that you find for $200 at the mall.

>> No.8353229

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork
(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?
tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353237

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353251

That's it. I'm sick of all this "bastard sword" bullshit that's going on in the 4th Edition system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the 4th Edition system. Here is the stat block I propose for katanas:

(Superior One-Handed Melee Weapon)
2d10 base damage
+5 proficiency bonus
Heavy blade, light blade (counts as both)
High crit, off-hand, reach, versatile

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of katanas in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in 4th Edition, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353261

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Katana" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Bastard Swords deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Bastard Sword in Germany for 10,000 Euros (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my Bastard Sword.

European smiths spend years working on a single Bastard Sword and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Bastard Swords are thrice as sharp as Japanese swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a Daisho can cut through, a Bastard Sword can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a Bastard Sword could easily bisect a samurai wearing pieces of wood for armor with a simple horizontal slash.

Ever wonder why Japan never bothered conquering Medieval Europe? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Knights and their Bastard Swords of destruction. Even in World War II, Japanese soldiers targeted the men with the Bastard Swords first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Bastard Swords are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Bastard Swords:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Bastard Swords in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Bastard Swords need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353263

>>8353251
...reach?

>> No.8353265

>>8353229
Weeaboo, or copypasta troll?

>> No.8353278

>>8353265
GET OUT

GET OUT NEWFAG
GET OUT AND STAY OUT

>> No.8353283

>>8353229
>>8353261
Bastardmind.

>> No.8353292

GUNS >> MELEE WEAPONS

>> No.8353293

Oy, ya ignorant gitz. I's sick of all dis "puny dakka" wot been goin' on in me WAAAGH right now. Shootaz is more dakka den dat. Gobs more dakka.

If some git don't think I know what I'm talking about, I'll crump 'im good. I got me a Shoota from a Mekboy fer loadz uv teef (an' I mean loadz) and 'ave been blasty wid it for a real long time now. I can even crump a Squiggoth wiv it.

Bad Moon Mekboyz spend minnitz workin' on just one Shoota an dey put up to a million gubbinz on it to produce the finest Shootas known to da orkz.

Shootaz is lots more shooty than 'umie gunz and lots more 'ard, too. Anything a 'umie can shoot, a boy with a Shoota can shoot betta. I's bettin' all my teef that a Shoota could take down a Titan wit' no problem.

Wanna know why dem Beaky Boyz can't evah beat Orks in battle? Dat's right, cuz dey's scared of Shootaz. Even at Armor-geddum, da 'umies shot da boyz wiv Shootas first. Dat's coz Shootaz 'ave loads uv dakka and dey know it.

So wot, you sez? I'll tell you wot, ya stupid git. Shootas is da most dakka dere evah was, an' we need real wunz, not dese puny fings. 'ere'z wot dey need:

More Dakka Iron Gobz More Dakka Dakka Spikez Fixa Grot Red paint Stikkbomb Chucka Shootier Blasta More Dakka Bolt-on Burna Bolt-on Rokkit Launcha Turbo Boosta Big Grabba Bolt-on Big Shoota More Dakka Ammo Squig WAAAGH Beer WAAAAAAGH

Now dat's wot I call a Shoota.

Da short uv it is, Shootaz need more dakka.

>> No.8353300

130 posts and 43 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view

>> No.8353310

>>8353263
dude the cutting force of the wind vacuum created by the slice of the katana was a well known ww 1 anti-tank weapon

>> No.8353313

hat's it. I'm sick of all this "Man" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Women deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine woman in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with her for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with her teeth.

Japanese parents spend years working on a single woman and send her to school and training dojos up to a million times to produce the finest gender known to mankind.

Women are thrice as sharp as men and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a man can cut through, a woman can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a woman could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple cutting remark.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering the Amazon? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Amazon people and their women of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the women first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Women are simply the best gender that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Women:

+4 to all ability scores, 25% EXP bonus

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Women in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Women need to do more in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353334

That's it. I'm sick of all this "age" bullshit that's going on in this thread right now. Sage deserves much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine sage in 4chan for 2,400,000 Internets (that's about $0) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even sage threads of solid awesome with my sage.
Weeaboo fags spend years working on a single sage and type it up to a million times to produce the finest sage known to mankind.
Sage is thrice as sharp as age and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything an age can bump, a sage can unbump better. I'm pretty sure a sage could easily sage the most epic thread in the universe with four letters.
Ever wonder why /co/ never bothered conquering /a/? That's right, they were too scared to fight the weeaboo fags and their sage of destruction. Even during the re/b/oot, Moderators targeted the men with the sage first because their sageing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Sage is simply the best thing that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in this thread. Here is the stat block I propose for sage:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Sage 19-20 x4 More Sage +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork
(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Sage 17-20 x4 More Sage +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the power of Sage in real life, don't you think?
tl;dr = Sage needs to do more damage in this thread, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353337

>>8353229

Hmm so after seeing this posted many times I wonder. Is it a change to a real post or was it a troll post from the beginning.

>> No.8353343

>>8352990
i've got trolled :(

>> No.8353344

A katana will kill you dead
A bastardsword will also kill you dead

Discussion over

>> No.8353363

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Jason" bullshit that's going on in horror movies right now. Chainsaws deserve much better than this. Much, much better than this.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself bought a genuine chainsaw at the hardware store for $150 Australian (that's about $250 American) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut through helpless teenagers with my chainsaw.

Automated factory machines spend years working on a single chainsaw and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest logging tool known to mankind.

Chainsaws are thrice as sharp and machetes and thrice as fun for that matter too. Any helpless teenager a machete can decaptiate, a chainsaw can decaptitate better. I'm pretty sure a chainsaw could easily bisect a helpless teenager with a simple slice.

Ever wonder why helpless teenagers never survive a horror movie? Because it would ruin the plot. But if it didn't, they would be too scared to fight Leatherface and his chainsaw of destruction. Even when the teenagers had meat cleavers and a van, they didn't target Leatherface first because his chopping power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Chainsaws are simply the best murder weapon that horror movies have ever seen, and thus, require better chopping power. Here is the stat block I propose:

(Masterwork Murder Weapon) Automatically hits teenagers, even in vans; grants automatic R-18+ rating.

tl;dr = Chainsaws needs to be more effective in horror movies, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353389

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork /b/tard" bullshit that's going on in the 4d20 system right now. Fa/tg/uys deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine fa/tg/uy in 4chan for 2,400,000 gp (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut Nobolis rulebooks with my fa/tg/uy.
4chan trolls spend years working on a single fa/tg/uy and provoke it up to a million times to produce the most rage-prone posters known to mankind.
Fa/tg/uys are thrice as angry as /v/irgins and thrice as grammar nazi-ing for that matter too. Anything a /v/irgin can rage over, a fa/tg/uy can rage over even harder. I'm pretty sure a fa/tg/uy could easily derail a /v/ thread with a simple single-line troll post.
Ever wonder why medieval /d/ never bothered buggering /tg/? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined fa/tg/uys and their rulebook citations of destruction. Even in World War II, /co/mrades targeted the fa/tg/uy first because their trolling power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Fa/tg/uys are simply the best trolls that the internet has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the 4d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for fa/tg/uys:
(One-Handed Exotic Poster) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork
(Two-Handed Exotic Poster) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the trolling power of fa/tg/uys on the internet, don't you think?
tl;dr = Fa/tg/uys need to do more damage in 4d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353391

>>8353171
>At least I can grammer properly.
>grammer
It's a good thing considering you sure as hell can't spell properly.

>> No.8353404

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Generic 12 Gauge" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Shotguns deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine shotgun in America for $300 dollars (that's about 26,700 Yen!) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut perforate of solid steel with my shotgun.

American factory workers spend minutes working on a single shotgun and pump it up to a million times to produce the finest smoothbore weaponry known to mankind.

Shotguns are thrice as deadly as pistols and thrice as loud for that matter too. Anything a revolver can blow through, a shotgun can blast through better. I'm pretty sure a shotgun could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple trigger pull.

Ever wonder why Imperialist Japan never bothered conquering America? That's right, they were too scared to fight the undisciplined Rednecks and their shotguns of destruction. Even in World War II, Japanese soldiers targeted the men with the shotguns first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Shotguns are simply the best smoothbore weapon that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for shotguns:

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage. Counts as Masterwork Boomstick.

Now that seems a lot more representative of the blasting power of shotguns in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Shotguns need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353428

That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Rations” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Bacon deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine helping of bacon in the American South for 10 dollars, plus tax (that’s about $10.50) and have been eatin bacon steadily for almost 2 years now. I can even belch clouds of bacon-bits after dinner.

Cooks smiths spend years working on a single strip of bacon and fry it up to a million times to produce the finest pork product known to mankind.

Bacon strips are thrice as tasty as Canadian bacon and thrice as savory for that matter too. Any stomach a slice of ham can fill up, a strip of bacon can fill up better. I’m pretty sure a slice of bacon could easily tame the hunger of a sumo wrestler during a breakfast meal.

Ever wonder why European cooks never have shows in America? That’s right, they were too scared to try and cook a slice of bacon, fearing its subtle flavours. Even in World War II, Axis soldiers targeted the men with the food supplies first because their packages of bacon were feared and respected. And they were hungry.

So what am I saying? Bacon is simply the best food that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Bacon:

(One-Handed Exotic Foodstuff)

1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to deliciousness Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Foodstuff)

2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to deliciousness Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the delicious power of Bacon in real life, don’t you think?

>> No.8353433

>>8353391
You need some comas in there.

>> No.8353457

>>8353363
lol good one.

>> No.8353484

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Hy_A9vjp_s

The fun begins at 5:50 where they chop a bastard sword in half with a katana, and then use a bastard sword against another bastard sword.

>> No.8353485

That's it. I'm sick of all this "150ft Rope" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Duct Tape deserves much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself bought a genuine roll of Duct Tape from Wal-Mart for 600 pennies (that's about $6) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even build skyscrapers of solid steel with my Duct Tape.

Underpaid factory machines spend minutes working on a single roll of Duct Tape and roll it up to a million times to produce the finest adhesive tape known to mankind.

Duct Tape is thrice as powerful as rope and thrice as thin for that matter too. Anything a rope can bind, Duct Tape can bind better. I'm pretty sure Duct Tape could easily bind a knight wearing full plate with a simple 3 layer wrap.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Wal-Mart? That's right, they were too scared to fight the elderly door greeters and their Duct Tape of binding. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with Duct Tape first because their prisoner taking power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Duct Tape is simply the best holding item that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Duct Tape:

(70 foot roll) up to 1000lbs of weight indefinitely 2000lbs for 6d10+4 turns 45DC strength escape Counts as Masterwork

(200ft "Value" roll) OVER NINE-THOUSAND pounds indefinitely 100,000lbs for d10 months 75DC strength escape Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the binding power of Duct Tape in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Duct Tape need to hold more weight in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353568

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Default Weapon" bullshit that's going on in the 40k system right now. Bolters deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine bolter in Terra for 3 minutes of sex with the Emperor (that's about $800,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even pierce slabs of solid steel with my bolter.

Adeptus Mechanicus smiths spend years working on a single bolter and test it up to a million times to produce the finest guns known to the Imperium.

Bolters are thrice as shooty as laser weapons and thrice as accurate for that matter too. Anything a lascannon can shoot through, a bolter can shoot through better. I'm pretty sure a bolter could easily impale a Carnifex with an Extended Carapace with a simple trigger pull.

Ever wonder why the C'tan never bothered conquering the Imperium? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Space Marines and their bolters of destruction. Even in the War in Heaven, C'tan soldiers targeted the Marines with the bolters first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Bolters are simply the best weapon that the universe has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the 40k system. Here is the stat block I propose for Bolters:

(Boltgun) 72' Range S9 AP1 Assault 9 Melta Blast Sniper Rending Lance Ignores Armor Saves

(Heavy Bolter) 96' Range S9 AP1 Assault 9 Melta Blast Sniper Rending Lance Ignores Armor Saves

Now that seems a lot more representative of the dakka power of Bolters in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Bolters need to do more damage in 40k, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353571

>>8353433
I don't care.
>comas
It's spelled 'commas' & I don't believe I do - no pauses intended.

>> No.8353595

>>8353568
>targeted the Marines with the bolters first
Wait, isn't that mostly every Marine? They would target...the normal Marines first?

>> No.8353601

>>8353571
I mean I wish you were comatose.

>> No.8353616

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Counter-Strike" bullshit that's going right now. WW2 games deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine WW2 FPS in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing on it for almost 2 years now. I can even spawn camp and wall hax in my WW2 FPS.

Overworked programmers spend monthss working on a single FPS and write up to a million lines of code to produce the finest games known to mankind.

World War 2 FPSs are thrice as cool as Counter Strike and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a CS player can snipe, a WW2 gamer can snipe better. I'm pretty sure you could easily snipe a knight wearing full plate playing a WW2 first person shooter.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering the World War 2 game market? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined game fags and their World War 2 game servers of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men who had played WW2 first person shooters first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? WW2 FPSs are simply the best games that the world has ever seen

>> No.8353638

>>8353130
Cite it, or you're the faggot.

>> No.8353643

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bayonet" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Shovels deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine military shovel in base camp for $15 (that's about 1500 pennies) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my shovel.

American smiths spend years working on a single shovel and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Shovels are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a shovel can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a shovel could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why WWII Germany never bothered conquering America? That's right, they were too scared to fight our disciplined soliders and their shovels of destruction. In World War II, German soldiers targeted the men with the shovels first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Shovels are simply the best weapon that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for shovels:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of shovels in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Shovels need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353691

>>8353310
So.. the nips fought german A7Vs in china with katanas..

>> No.8353709

>>8353643
>American assembly lines spend minutes working on a single shovel and pour molten steel in a mold to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Fix'd
Facts can be funnier than straight up.

>> No.8353778

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Farseer Fanwank" bullshit that's going on in /tg/ right now. Howling Banshees deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself won a Howling Banshee's heart in Ulthwe with a beautiful bouquet of roses (that's about 400 thrones) and have been dating her for almost 2 years now. I can even make Daemonettes jealous with my banshee.

Banshee Exarches spend years working on a single banshee and make her work out a million times to produce the finest ass known to mankind. Banshees are thrice as sexy as Farseers and thrice as horny for that matter too. Anyone a Farseer can make turn heads, a banshee can make heads follow better. I'm pretty sure a banshee could easily seduce an Astartes wearing Terminator Armor with a simple giggling chuckle.

Ever wonder why Relic never bothered promoting Banshee lead characters? That's right, they were too scared to show off the perfect sex icon and their perfect tits and ass. Even in Dawn of war 2, Howling Banshees didn't get that much attention, otherwise all the players would be staring at them too much and never complete the game.

So what am I saying? Banshees are simply the best Eldar to commit xenos love heresy with, and thus, require more sexy artwork in /tg/. Here are fap thoughts I propose for Banshees:

(Shower Sardines) Banshees try to fit into a single shower as much as possible, with their Exarch fitting in last, naked

(Pillow Fight) Said Banshees playfully attack each other with pillows in their underwear, and the Exarch tries to wrestle their panties off

Now that seems a lot more representative of the sexy image of Banshees in our minds, don't you think?

tl;dr = Banshees need more attention on /tg/, see my new fap thoughts.

>> No.8353890

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Pious Imperial" bullshit that's going on in the Imperium system right now. Cultists of Chaos deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Cultist-Chan in base camp for four favors to Slaanesh (that's about 500 souls of the righteous) and have been practicing with her for almost 2 years now. I can even cut through the purity of Adeptus Sororitas with my Cultist-Chan.

The Chaos Gods spend seconds working on a single cultist and rape her up to a million times to produce the finest babes known to mankind.

Cultists are twice as heretical as loyalist women and thrice as kinky for that matter too. Anything a space marine can convert, a cultist-chan can corrput better and faster. I'm pretty sure my Cultist-Chan could easily corrupt a Grey Knight wearing full plate with a simple titty flash.

Ever wonder why the Imperium never bothered conquering the Eye of Terror? That's right, they were too scared to fight our psychotic cultists of chaos and their cultist-chan of corruption. In the 597th battle for Cadia, Cadian soldiers targeted the manifestations of cultist-chan first because her voice was so annoying and heretical.

So what am I saying? Cultist-Chan simply has the best ass that the universe has ever seen, and thus, requires better stats in the WH40k system. Here is the stat block I propose for Cultist-Chan:

WS6|BS6|S1|T1|W666|I5|A6|LD11|S1+

Special Rule: Corruption - all enemies that fight cultist-chan are so infatuated with her bacon smell and heretical, annoying voice that they immediately turn to chaos if her model is within 6'in of them.


Now that seems a lot more representative of the heretical power of cultist-chan in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Cultist-Chan has got a sweet ass, see my new stat block.

>> No.8353926

>>8353778
So they shower in sardines?
Or is it the sardines that take the shower?

>> No.8353953

>>8353890

Sir, I am far more damned and broken than even your Cultist-chan of corruption. You see, I find the scent of bacon revolting.

>> No.8353985

>>8353953
>I find the scent of bacon revolting

>> No.8353991

>>8353953
I... I... I don't even...
INFINIHERESY

>> No.8354053

>>8353985
>>8353991

The liquefying fat, the congealing grease, the sizzle of meat against pan in the morning: all these things evoke in me utter horror and loathing. Sirs, I long ago cast away my humanity, and live a hellish half-existence where even bacon gives no pleasure. There are few things on this planet that can inspire nausea so quickly in me as the smell of bacon wafting in the morning.

>> No.8354068

>>8353601
Oh. Okay. As you were then.

>> No.8354087

That's it. I'm sick of all this "worst pistol ever" bullshit that's going on in /k/ right now. Desert Eagles deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Desert Eagle in Gaza Strip for 80,000 shekel (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even pierce slabs of solid steel with one shot.

Jewish gunsmiths spend years working on a single Desert Eagle and replace parts up to a million times to produce the finest guns known to mankind.

Desert Eagles are thrice as powerful as other pistols and thrice as fast for that matter too. Anything a 9mm bullet can pierce, a Desert Eagle can pierce better. I'm pretty sure a Desert Eagle could easily cut right through a soldier wearing full body armor with a single bullet.

Ever wonder why dirty sand niggers never bothered conquering Israel? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Israeli soldiers and their Desert Eagles of destruction. Even in the Gulf War, Iraqi soldiers targeted the men with the Desert Eagles first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Desert Eagles are simply the best gun the world has ever seen, and /k/ needs to respect them more. To do that I've made up stats for it in D&D.

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) Instant kill, +5 to hit

Now that seems a lot more representative of the shooting power of Desert Eagles in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Desert Eagles need to be more respected on /k/.

>> No.8354100

>>8354068
Time travel is impossible.

>> No.8354120

>>8354100

Well, to one with as limited a perception of time as yours, anyway.

>> No.8354128

>>8353953

>> No.8354162

>>8354120
This one time I hit my head and was transported to a hospital bed two days in the future.

>> No.8354182

17 posts before the delicious copypasta?

Come on, /tg/. You can rage harder than that.

>> No.8354193

Katanas suck at parrying, much of its use comes from evading and landing a decisive strike without getting hit.

>> No.8354212

>>8354087
*eyes image* Wow. I guess the Jews found a more practical way to keep their gold safe.

>> No.8354240

>>8354182
/tg/ does a different kind of raging to the ones you're used to. We will completely derail a thread given enough time to something else.

Also;
Katanas = dex
Broadswords = str + con

Discuss

>>
Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.
Captcha
Action