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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.8284906 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Hey, kid! Wanna try some heresy?

>> No.8284916

Ooo! What's that?

>> No.8284920

No thanks. I had some this morning.

>> No.8284947

You don't know what heresy is? Oh boy, have you been missing out. Come on, let's find the heresy for you. How do you feel about hygiene?
And how long has it been, huh? Come on, you know you need this hit.

>> No.8284968

No thanks, apostasy is more my speed.

>> No.8284972

I heard heres-

...Your warp-fu is weak.

>> No.8284984

Sorry, but I'm only a social heretic. I only commit Heresy in large groups.

>> No.8284991

Well have you ever tried heresy?
Hey, man. Be cool. It's just some kids trying something new. It's not hurting anyone.

>> No.8285006

Nah, but how bout some of this Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake?

>> No.8285007

take this you heretics

>> No.8285009

>> No.8285037

You're doing it wrong. You can't hand out heresy, you have to explose large numbers of people to it all at the same time. That way, nobody feels like a heretic because everyone else is doing it. Peer pressure!

>> No.8285043

Gawd, I am not just trying, you know?

Someone needs to know how heresy feels. How it interacts with the mind. How people on heresy think ... and act. I only do that to hunt them down, and boy, you wouldn't believe the shit my mates give me for that ... but I know better. I will learn and turn heresy against itself. Even if I have to dip into it, I will find and purge the sour ... wait a second, hey, you!

You are under arrest! Though if you could be swayed towards a certain arrangement ...

>> No.8285076

You just need one person to turn heretic, then he'll do the job for you.
Reason begets doubt.
Doubt begets heresy.

>> No.8285079

Well how about escorting some of these fine young lads to one of these events, hm?
Back off, jack-off. This is my turf.
Those are so much easier to find, you fool! But if it's slowly introduced into the culture as something rebellious and cool, it's much harder to root out.

>> No.8285084

this is what happens to those who commit heresy

>> No.8285088

My brother told me his best friend's cousin tried heresy at a party once because everybody was doing it. It was his first time but now he has a dick growing out of his vagina.

>> No.8285112

Rebellious people get shot. But, if you got the Commisar into it...

See attached pict, brb scrubbing eyeballs with acid

>> No.8285115

I sampled some heterodoxy once or twice. It just wasn't worth the effort of finding the high-quality stuff, though; do you know how much a premium sample of Gnosticism goes for these days?

>> No.8285123

so is this how chaos rising is gonna play out? i will stay loyal to the emporor

>> No.8285157

Hey, man, for you? The good stuff. Come on, take your pick. Take some for those pesky co-workers too, show 'em how much it helps.
And it feels great for him, doesn't it?
I'm trying to get to them while they're still in the Scholas.
Hey, if you want some free samples, I'd be happy to provide...
It's just heresy! You don't have to surrender your loyalties! Why, think of those renegade Space Marine chapters!

>> No.8285158

Actually, it won't matter anyways.
'Nids will consume all of your biomatter anyways.

>> No.8285172

Dude! What the fuck, man?!

>> No.8285187

Oh. I see what you're doing now. Oh man, Heresy Commisars.

Ultramarines suck.

>> No.8285208


>>8285088 here.
You know, I haven't heard him complain about it...
And who am I to judge as long as he's happy, right?
Sure, let me get some of this heresy.

>> No.8285217

I wonder if there's a way to get them to heresy...
Hello again, little man.

>> No.8285238

Oh, hey Narl.

I was contemplating convincing someone to make a planet out of cocaine for them to eat but Doomrider beat me to it.

>> No.8285240

Alright! And you know what? For you, the first hit is free.


If the Emperor is so powerful, why is he anchored to the his throne?

>> No.8285254

Why are you giving advice on spreading heresy?

>> No.8285273

So why exactly shouldn't I use you for my devotions to Slaanesh?

>> No.8285285

P.R. Keeper of Secrets is taking a holiday,going off to possess some cultist somewhere. I'm covering for it. How's the crusaderin' going?

Maybe some REALLY bad tacos?

>> No.8285289

Sorry buddy, but if I don't fall for the "free samples" trick when they try to con me into getting razors that only work with the most expensive blades, why the fuck would I fall for yours?

I might as well just go grow my own heresy somewhere and have more control over what flavors I get in the final product. It'll be cheaper in the long run.

>> No.8285297

Russia's heresy will be bigger than that of anyone else.

>> No.8285313

Is there a reason why you are giving heretics advise on how to spread HERESY?

One good reason why I should not execute you for heresy now. Go.

>> No.8285328

The academic portion of the training blows. I'm just barely getting by.
We're related?

>> No.8285360

But if he were perfect, that would be no impediment!
Hey, far be it from me to stop you. Why, I'll even get you some seeds to sow.
That's the spirit!
Why would that st-
HOW are we even related?

>> No.8285418

I'm your... cousin's... father's... brother!

>> No.8285446

My cousin's father's brother?
My cousin's father being my uncle?
My uncle's brother being my father?

>> No.8285461

>narl, a crusader from a feral world
>goldberg, chaos space marine and probably older than aforementioned feral world

I see no problem with this.

Sure he was perfect! Tacos were his weakness. Even a perfect digestive system struggles with three tonnes of taco.

>> No.8285481


>> No.8285504

Wait, won't the Chaos Gods just eat your soul, like all the rest?

>> No.8285509

That would make you my father. You're saying you're my father.
If it has to struggle with something, it isn't perfect!

>> No.8285519

As a part of our War on Reality, no, they will not eat your soul. You may eat the souls of others, though, to fatten yo-
It is possible to eat the souls of others for your own power.

>> No.8285523

Would your digestive system handle three tonnes of taco?

So. Does the mother know?

>> No.8285536

This... ah... must be a very big surprise for you... son.
Er... well...
I neither confirm nor deny.

>> No.8285571

We're talking about what defines a perfect digestive system. A perfect digestive system would be able to handle anything. And with his powers, if they were as great as people said, would have been able to take care of the problem.
You. Cannot. Be serious.
I'm a Chaos Space Marine.
I was old before the Horus Heresy! How could you possibly be old enough to be my father?!

>> No.8285596

The warp.

>> No.8285599

Okay, now keep thinking this through.
His digestive system and psyker skills handled the taco.
Then...Wait, three tonnes of taco compressed into one warp-imbued turd?

This is the reason he is on the Golden Throne. So the turd will not escape and destroy us all.
Also, is this your mother?

>> No.8285604

So, what if he was born before that?

>> No.8285607

Exactly. Ask Tzeentch.

>> No.8285625

I murdered my family. Including my father.
Well, she looked a bit like that when I finished with her.
"Ask Tzeentch?" You don't see anything horribly wrong with that suggestion?

>> No.8285640

Yeah, but I got better.

>> No.8285646

Evidently Narl hasn't gone back in time to impregnate your mother yet. Now that he's forewarned, he'll probably survive.
And no, I don't see anything wr-
Oh right, mortal. Sorry.

I've been getting Just As Planned lessons from Nimue.

>> No.8285685

He isn't my father! He's not even Jewish!
And chaos space marine from before the Horus Heresy isn't exactly mortal, now is it?

>> No.8285716

Then why can't you ask Tzeentch?

You probably shouldn't tell the Inquisitors about this.

>> No.8285719

The warp.

>> No.8285727

Sure, I'll take it all!

>> No.8285736

>> No.8285740

I'm not sure I qualify as "lawful."

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>> No.8285759

Sorry guys, have to go. Some slaaaneshi cultists want a 'sign'. I feel for P.R. now, this is hard work. See you later.

I think i'll call you 'kid' from now on, Goldberg.

>> No.8285761

Because then I'll owe the beaked bastard!
By the Dark Ones he's starting to make sense to me...
That's it, I'm outa here.

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>> No.8285790

See ya.
Goodbye, son.
Looks like you got here just in time to catch the end. By the way, you're doing more to bump the thread than anyone else has so far.

Good night.

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>> No.8285797

In Soviet Russia, Heresy tries You!

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Spamfag, you know that you're just keeping the thread on the first page now, right?

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>> No.8285889

Everyone loves Cultist!

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The old switceroo.

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>> No.8286064


One of my coworkers rolled a zealot in WAR named cultist chan. Fucking awesome.

>> No.8286070

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>> No.8286077

>> No.8286079


Why is she so adorable? I mean, I agree she is, but it just doesn't make any sense.

>> No.8286087

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>> No.8286101

rolled 1, 4, 2 = 7

Why not?

>> No.8286103

>> No.8286107


I like pointy teef and girls.

Pointy teef reminds me of cats, which I like, and girls are girls.

>> No.8286109

>> No.8286116


I dunno. Sharp teeth, lots of extreme body piercings, worships evil gods, not really things that make me thing 'cute.'

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>> No.8286135

Who originally came up with this character?

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>> No.8286152


THAT picture is fucking great.

>> No.8286153


I only count one.

In the back.

and 40k is too camp to worry about the goods being evil.

And teef are awesome.

>> No.8286156


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>> No.8286173


I dunno. It's like, I don't wanna have sex with her, but she's adorable. It's not a feeling I'm used to feeling. The only other character I can think of that I feel the same way about is Molly from Runaways.

>> No.8286175

>> No.8286178



>> No.8286181

Do I look like I'm joking?

>> No.8286184

>> No.8286186


>posts trollan cultist.jpg

Oh you.

>> No.8286188

>>8286178 Implying an artist, who draws the concept, owns it.

No U. /tg/ asked for female cultist. He does't 'own' her idea. She's a public character, if not GW/Relic.

>> No.8286192

rolled 6, 2, 4 = 12

Not usually, no. But she tends to have a rather innocent-looking face (teeth aside), and she's incredibly childish, which tend to be 'cute' qualities.

>> No.8286193

>> No.8286197


Looking like you got hit with an ugly stick, man-cultist thing.

>> No.8286199


>> No.8286204

Cultist is always beautiful.

>> No.8286215

When Culexus was new he did a Requests thread.
One request was 'A female Chaos Cultist feeding a Chaos Spawn waffles saying "We have Captured it for Chaos!" in the same voice as the cultists in the Dawn of War games."'
I remember that thread...

>> No.8286217

>> No.8286226

We should post Cultist together to celebrate!

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>> No.8286235


It would sadden me to see the Collector hated as much as you, Cdumper.

>> No.8286236


>Implying mouth full of pointy teef can't be cute

You don't have any small pets, do you?

On the order of cat size.

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>> No.8286249

Why would anyone hate the Collector?

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>> No.8286264

Anon asked for female cultist.

Cullexus gave us Cultist. It's his design, his way of making her talk, it's basically his character.

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>> No.8286281

rolled 3, 4, 1 = 8

I do, actually. But I never thought a mouth full of pointy teeth was considered cute.

Then again, I'm on 4chan. Nothing should surprise me.

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>> No.8286574

Her accent would probably be cute or sexy as long as it wasn't too squeaky or raspy though.

But I just dig chicks with accents. Tali in mass effect is basically my fucking kryptonite.

>> No.8286588


I think she's adorable in how she keeps trying even after so many failures. The virtually non-understandable accent is an amusing addition.

>> No.8286617


Also, the fact that she's clumsy and not graceful makes her a little vulnerable. It's almost like... a lot of people, especially other women, would make fun of her, but she's nice and hard working so you know you'd appreciate her on some level.

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