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75865640 No.75865640 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Here's my character, DM.
What do you do, /tg/?

>> No.75865663

So is she a full sized centaur or like, a small pony? I'm not playing a full sized centaur, but if you wanna be like, a pony/halfling centaur, sure. But she has to put on a bra. I'm guessing druid?

>> No.75865698

I hate centaurs. I hated centaurs before I encountered you degenerates who try to sneak around your sick horse fucking impulses by them and I hate them more now. Spines do not bend at ninety degree angles. And don't give me your shitty physiologically impossible illustrations of horses' skeletons with the neck held back perpendicular to the spine. That's not how necks work. Back to /mlp/ with all of you.

>> No.75865712

Go back

>> No.75865726

go back

>> No.75865730

>Spines do not bend at ninety degree angles.
Centaur spines do.

>> No.75865749

Fine by me, but I'll warn him privately that we're not playing an ERP, so no flirting, blushing, emphasizing the boobs etc. during sessions.

Apart from that, looks fine, could be interesting.

>> No.75865767

---> /mlp/

>> No.75865773

at least not another elf

>> No.75865782

Does she fuck?

>> No.75865829

>Centaur’s are allowed but you’re lack of clothing is a social taboo and you will be treated accordingly by NPCs. I’d advise against.

Is there another way to handle it?

>> No.75865838

Yeah how about "no centaurs you sick horsefucking faggot".

>> No.75865855

I’m thinking you might have trouble with stairs

>> No.75865860

Sure, my character is obviously going to be a fish out of water in civilised lands, just like the knight and rogue are going to be a fish out of water in the wilderness

>> No.75865940


>Fantastic. You'll fit in perfectly with the group's Scorpion Gunslinger and Chartered Account with a suitcase They Can't Open.

>Now, let's start talking about backstories so we can integrate your PC deeper into the setting...

I legitimately don't see anything wrong with this as a DM. Hell, even if their horn grants wishes, I look at that as more of an opportunity than a liability.

>> No.75866046

At least it's not a chakat...

>> No.75866100

I mean, as long as you're not creepy and weird about it, and your homebrew centaur race isn't overpowered, that's probably fine.

>> No.75866109

What in the actual fuck

fucking furfags

Put a shirt on when you're in civilized lands, and hope you're OK with severe prejudice if hot outright hatred, because people fucking hate centaurs for destroying towns they deemed "too civilized". Good luck.

>> No.75866163

>What in the actual fuck
Did you just learn what it is? Oh, if I could be so innocent again...

>> No.75866197

The campaign now has a heavy emphasis on ladders and spelunking.

>> No.75866241

Spelunker centaur sounds cool desu.

>> No.75866247

I'll allow it. She doesn't even have to put a top on, because most of the culture doesn't sexualize titties like our sanitized real world does. In the height of a tropical summer, you bet your ass people are going to wear as little as possible.

>> No.75866321

Oh she will, she will.

>> No.75866438

Strad would be happy about new undead toy.

>> No.75866539

It could be possible if you fused the humanoid pelvis to the upper equine rips and the humanoid spine had major lordosis, you would probably have to add a muscle group going from the equine shoulder blades to halfway up the lumbar curve on the humanoid spine to support the humanoid portion of the centaur. This may be a viable creature, but it probably wouldn't be very functional, firstly it wouldn't be able to bend down as that motion would snap it's spine, secondly the added muscle group would be subject to constant cramping as it would be flexed constantly, lastly this design is dependent on the humanoid portion having lordosis, which is already a complication in of itself, which would doubtlessly cause further complication, that's not even mentioning the complications inherent in adding that much weight to the front of a horse's body.

>> No.75866541
File: 139 KB, 256x256, female_fairy_elven_sylvan_forest_nature_spirit_mage_spellcaster_enchantress_token_3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Actually for this character, the "horse part" is male. Proof? I draw the naughty art.

What if they want to buy a female mare as a travel companion? Can my character stay at the stables instead of paying for a room at the inn? "My character can eat just grass and leaves as we travel.", So they don't need to pack rations right?

If you want real disruption, its when the DM lets you play a micro-tiny sized fairy and you hide in someone's pants/shirt and cast healing spells on them, or when they let someone literally be a magical baby unicorn trap in a campaign where you get exp for getting pregnant.

I've been there friends... We're talking levels of lewd, disruption, and chaos that shouldn't even be possible!

>> No.75866568

Back in undergrad, I had a friend who wanted to play a centaur for his first DND character. When you're introducing people to the hobby, and they have no background in the usual milieu of fantasy rpgs, you get a lot of requests that push the boundaries of "usual player character material."

I went out and found mechanics for it. 5E homebrew at first until we converted to Basic Fantasy RPG halfway through the campaign. Tardor Horzan was a treasured character and not quashing his stride was one of my better choices as a DM.

>> No.75866589

Every one of these problems ceases to exist if you make it clear ahead of time that this isn't an erp game. That said, that would most likely cause OP to immediately lose interest in the character.

>> No.75866603

I always hated faces like that. The lips are fucking colossal and the cheekbones are such a weird fucking shape. She looks like a downie.

>> No.75866619

Fix bayonet and charge

>> No.75866723
File: 45 KB, 256x256, mana_kobold_spellcaster_dancer_sorceress_mage_spellcaster_bard_wizard_enchantress256.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

hahahAHHAaH! Problems? Since when was fun outlawed?

You haven't lived if you have yet to play a whip wielding, female dominatrix half succubus-kobold with a wolf mount and a sex slave mate. What is best in life? To lay 1d6 eggs, and nurture them for two weeks until you see they are infertile by candling them, so you prepare omlettes for the next party dinner!

You haven't really played the game until you've roleplayed as a young elf boy named Shotaru who disguised and took the place of his twin sister Nympho in an arranged marriage with a mad wizard named Tentaclese.

Your loss my friend!

>> No.75866752
File: 34 KB, 320x216, Purge.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.75866754


>> No.75866813


I always see that style as a 'cutesie' way of drawing a character that isn't supposed to be particularly attractive. Cartoons are already often very 'everyone looks fine except for the very obvious uggos that we drew with hunchbacks and warts', and no one wants to draw their beloved main character as actually unattractive even if they're meant to be. Especially if they're a girl.

So you end up with that aesthetic where they're kinda chunky all over in a way that just generally suggests they're not on the centaur cheerleading and bulimia squad or whatever.

>> No.75866823

How well insulated against the cold is she? we're running Rime of the Frostmaiden

>> No.75866852

>Magic? Ok
>Dragons? Ok
>Ghosts? Ok
>Giants? Ok
>Dire Ants? Ok
>Alternate Planes? Ok

>> No.75866859

Monster races are perfectly fine for a monster campaing
Now, mixing monster races with clear racial advantages in a normal party is akin to being asked "Can I be an archangel I want to figth some devils"
Sure, monster races are perfectly fine for a monster campaing.

>> No.75866910

There is approximately 0% chance of that being the case.

>> No.75866917
File: 240 KB, 1513x1107, 1595923355215.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Here's the obligatory reply to your pasta

>> No.75866925
File: 104 KB, 439x522, 1572708400014.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I figured you'd appreciate this anon.

>> No.75866938

Do you think giraffes are imaginary because their necks bend 90°?

>> No.75866946

"She's cute, but official stats for centaurs aren't out yet for this edition and thisis a no homebrew game"

>> No.75867003

OK but I will need you to clarify where her womb is.

>> No.75867082

Okay, but I tend to run things on the dark and violent side for most of my games, and I do lots of combat, often large scale battles. Your character is going to look a little out of place but that might be a good thing, we'll see how it turns out. Being a centaur isn't a big deal, centaurs and satyrs are both in the alliance against Duke Ingledark, so you're a welcome ally.

So, you guys are a group of special forces troopers and your first mission is to go to Sanchee Village and find out who's loyal to the Alliance and who's guerrilla rebel scum and execute all guerrilla rebel scum. You get one scroll Zone of Truth and the village has about 100 people in it. Go!

>> No.75867669

She cute

>> No.75867682

>tfw every centaur thread devolves into rants about their anatomy

>> No.75867712

I accept centaurs. It's going to be a bit more challenging for that player but if they understand that no problems.
They're kicked out at the first sign of degeneracy though

>> No.75867783

If the PC is a guy I bend him over a table and fuck his twink ass until his life feels empty without my cock in him. If it's a girl I kick her out.

>> No.75867835
File: 144 KB, 720x540, comment_8wSG5hQwUStTF81GijA0Pz7ohpNQtFCo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

and here's the obligatory reply to your reply

>> No.75867863

>Actually for this character, the "horse part" is male. Proof? I draw the naughty art.
Uh, Are you OP? Is that in a ERP game? And source?

>> No.75867881

if i said i allowed homebrew and they agreed to show their character sheet to me beforehand, sure. i usually don't like working around homebrew since its always unbalanced though so im not sure why i would allow it this time.

>> No.75867885

Her face looks overweight while her torso and arms don't. That veers a bit into the uncanny valley territory.

>> No.75867936

Few things could happen
1. Centaurs in my game do not have horns and are a warrior culture even as fairy folk.
2. Can take are not on the list of available races. I'm not adding them until you can show me you can play something closer to human well.
3. They literally will not fit through some areas in the setting as a large size creature. Keep that in mind.

>> No.75867949

What game? Centaurs are in every major D&D derivative by now (including 5e and PF) and settings like Warhammer should obviously not have playable centaurs.

>> No.75868207


>> No.75868255
File: 198 KB, 1119x714, anatomica_centauris_by_jackrover-d5i5jov.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Your move, anon.

>> No.75868331

I like the idea of centaurs that are clearly not natural. Some awful magic or intelligent design had a hand in their conception, and as a result they suffer all sorts of health issues and competing instincts as a result of being literally just a horse and a human fused together with magic and dumped out into the world unfinished. Two barely-cooperating hearts, four lungs breathing through one human-scale oesophagus, two sets of digestive organs calibrated for different foodstuffs yet only one omnivorous mouth. They should be abominations.

>> No.75868341


The whole campaign turns really windy all of a sudden.

>> No.75868370

>Another autistic person who got the wrong impression that TTRPG is a hobby for anti-social, autistic, mis-adjusted people that hate fun and escapism
Why this keeps happening?

>> No.75868410

Found it

>> No.75868526

>I'm not playing a full sized centaur
Of course not your player would be.

>> No.75868613

This... This is an 1890's Call of Cthulhu Campaign. Did you even read the group chat? It was just 2 paragraphs, it would have taken you forty seconds!

>> No.75868636

If its in the book, its ok!

>> No.75868671

Because they saw what popular culture thought the hobby was up until famous people started playing it for their podcasts, and they assumed this marked a genuine change in the atmosphere of the hobby, rather than the point where it was finally being portrayed somewhat accurately.

>> No.75868906

If they use the existing centaur race, I don't give a fuck.

>> No.75868917

Centaur Druid sounds kino. I let her play.

>> No.75868924

I'm really disappointed the artist of this deleted the whole comic.

>> No.75869021

suspension of disbelief

>> No.75869324
File: 95 KB, 900x888, this is you.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.75869361

Ban, remove player for even trying that shit

>> No.75869364

"Oh, I'm sorry. This is a human only setting"

>> No.75869509

>Proof? I draw the naughty art.

>> No.75870979

"Sorry but you can't be a centaur *and* a unicorn, pick one or the other."

>> No.75871029

>I already said no furries you fuck I should not have to keep repeating myself.

>> No.75871066


>> No.75871344

Centaurs weren't one of the races you can play in this setting. Make another character from one of the races or peoples in the setting document.

>> No.75871371

This is a modern day SWAT game....

>> No.75871397

Centaurs are not furries you fucking retard.

>> No.75871438

Centaurs in my setting are an exclusively-male race of roving cannibalistic raiders that most races kill on sight, so I'd let that be their character, and depending on where they end up starting that character would either be killed or captured instantly.

>> No.75871464


>> No.75871484

I am sorry, I cannot allow you to play when you enjoy such atrocious art styles.

>> No.75871759

FWIW I find the art style totally fine (and I own plenty of "classical"-style fantasy art books - some John Blanche, Ian Miller, Les Edwards, The Art of Dragonlance, Brian Froud and the like), though I can understand the character not fitting in plenty of settings.

>> No.75871793

Art's cute, but I cant allow a centaur in my games. I'm not one to say no, but ill veto this one.

>> No.75871969

"Fortunately for you this setting is based on several golden age RPG games, so I'll allow your character. Unfortunately for you, the specific mission involves going to the TWISTED LANDS OF EEEEEEEEEVILLLLLL in SVARRRRRRRT METALLLLLL HELLLLLLLL, so it might be hard for you to remain innocent and chipper, are you sure you want to go?"

>> No.75872116

looks like I'll need two players instead of one

>> No.75872198

Unironically reminds me of the amerimutt memes

>> No.75872463

>What do you do, /tg/?

>> No.75873639

yiff in hell furfag

>> No.75873678

The obvious solution to all of this is the Fan no Hitori "Maneater" style centaur. And I dare anyone to read that doujin and claim I'm wrong.

>> No.75873745

I take out a jug of whiskey and my collections of Grimtooth's traps and ask the player if they're truly ready for the game? If so, my sense of remorse and restraint will be dead.

>> No.75873760

Pathfinder 2nd ed. It has NPC stats for centaurs but no ancestry for them.(yet?)

>> No.75873824

still waiting on that proof you whoremonger

>> No.75874018

They've been appropriated by monstergirlfags, and monstergirls are furry so that makes centaurs furry now

>> No.75874226

Anon you clearly didn't read the application notes. Core races only

>> No.75874268
File: 157 KB, 960x888, 1578308035625.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Here's my character, DM.
What do you do, /tg/?

>> No.75874331
File: 579 KB, 2048x1536, no gay retards stock image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>You haven't lived if you have yet to play a whip wielding, female dominatrix half succubus-kobold with a wolf mount and a sex slave mate.
Pretty based.

>To lay 1d6 eggs, and nurture them for two weeks until you see they are infertile by candling them, so you prepare omlettes for the next party dinner!
Yikes. Flippant or non-existent motherly instincts is not attractive.

>> No.75874387

I think centaurs make more sense as tibbitaurs.
Cat spines and shoulders.

>> No.75875126

"Which one?"

>> No.75875136

Fuck the player to establish dominance.

>> No.75875372

Looks pretty JRHNBR.

>> No.75875387
File: 125 KB, 1540x1540, 1598309626312.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

is this the centaur thread

>> No.75875436

Fuck, if the guys behind Dragonball Abridged can make it work, maybe you can too.

Just don't be surprised if the Wizard wants to ride on your back.

>> No.75875502

What's the point of these threads?

>> No.75875533

Not him but I knew they were a thing, but putting a name on it make me disgusted all over again.

>> No.75875834

Im going to allow it, BUT, you are going to have a few restrictions/freebies. Near and in civilization, you turn into a halfling, in wilderness, you assume your normal form, in fae glades, you are empowered and gain +2 to your prof. Bonus.

>> No.75875883

I think you're going to be making a new one

>> No.75875884

What is the point of any thread?

>> No.75875959
File: 65 KB, 560x423, harry-styles-unzips-pants-main.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

lord forgive me, not for the things I have done but the things I am about to do,

>> No.75876526

Horses are for glue

>> No.75876531

Hot glue

>> No.75876545

fucking calarts

>> No.75876553
File: 54 KB, 500x581, 1573885418331.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Good we needed more glue for our spell books.

>> No.75876574

Discussion, primarily. That's why there's an "extremely low quality" report option; the thread in those cases isn't contributing to the board in any way.
By the way, this isn't announcing a report, because I haven't reported anything, it's simply a spoonfeeding of the rules, which can easily be found by not being such a retarded faggot and reading the site's rules.

>> No.75876579

>he misses Blofeld

>> No.75876919

Just be sure to describe how her beasts move when she walks. In detail. Female players must provide visual aids.

>> No.75876950

Bone the pone

>> No.75876958


>> No.75877040

I find that hideous art more offputting than the idea of a centaur PC

>> No.75878491

is that polish textbook about Mr. Hands?

>> No.75879116

There's something about her having DSLs that gets to me.

>> No.75879151

1.) Get fucked by a horse, dragon or giant
2.) Get fisted by her dutiful squire

>> No.75879208
File: 17 KB, 600x423, 1603916514100.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Spines can do crazy shit anon.

>> No.75879224
File: 22 KB, 600x424, 1603914479583.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Very bendy.

>> No.75879337

If I'm the GM? He's gone, no second chances (unless I actually know him.) If I'm a player, I drop out on the spot. A weaboo dipshit with a shitty anime character that had similar warning signs as your pic killed the game I was in in about 5 sessions.

>> No.75879345

Wow, congratulations, you actually would have persuaded me as a DM. Session 0 would have to be the other characters giving you a crash course on living in a city, starting with you getting clothes, a small in character debate about whether to buy you pants, a dress, or saddlebags, and ending with walking into town to meet the adventure hook.

If you then refused the clothes or even fucking mentioned a bonus feat from a nudism drawback, you'd be kicked from the group for being a horse's ass both in and out of character.

>> No.75879476

Sure, I’ll allow it, but I spent hours planning the session and I’m not changing the content. The party starts at level 5 and will be hunting down a pack of marauding minotaurs that have been raping and murdering every female mammal in the region. You still up for this?

>> No.75879477

I'm just surprised that it's about their spines this time and not about their self wiping anuses.

>> No.75879521

>it’s only smellz

>> No.75879533

I assumed it was a Half-Fey centaur... or a Half-Demon centaur that's really banking on the unicorn aesthetic. That's a lot of level penalties though, depending on the edition/system.

>> No.75879593

That... That's exactly the kind of campaign I like playing chipper characters in! Nudist horse butt aside, this is the best possible personality for this campaign.

>> No.75879638

>"Cool, can we make her a futa? With a massive foot long horse cock? With a big ol' musky ballsack? And a flared cockhead that's overly sensitive, even to the slightest breeze? I'm just gonna write it down on the character sheet anyway."

>> No.75879650

>Flippant or non-existent motherly instincts is not attractive.
They said that the eggs were nonviable. What are you going to do, hold a funeral for the rotten, unfertilized egg?

>> No.75879696

dang, that's some leniency right there. I like it. I'd add in some hunters after the character's horn and bones for use as potion reagents.

>> No.75879719
File: 106 KB, 799x800, Sad Panda.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw you die and there is a very good chance your skeleton could become a stripper

>> No.75879722

Absolutely based. The only guy I have ever known to like centaurs is into degenerate shit. Horsefuckers need to be put to the sword.

>> No.75879739

>Not getting mounted in and out of battle by the paladin that secretly has a horsecock.
There are plenty of ways to play the game Anon.

>> No.75879754

The Skeleton War needs camp followers Anon.

>> No.75880107

I only ever allow human fighters in my group

>> No.75880256
File: 1.01 MB, 1200x1095, Canine2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Yes, I am a human fighter. It means to fight humans, yes?

>> No.75880308

I ask them to show me the character sheet. If they don't have one, or if they have one for the wrong system, I'll provide them with a blank sheet and character creation instructions.

>> No.75880646

ladders lmao

>> No.75880925

Sure, we using Centaur stats or would you want to use Alseid stats?

>> No.75882182
File: 28 KB, 453x324, Berserk_puck.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>If you want real disruption, its when the DM lets you play a micro-tiny sized fairy and you hide in someone's pants/shirt and cast healing spells on them, or when they let someone literally be a magical baby unicorn trap in a campaign where you get exp for getting pregnant.

I mean

>> No.75882394

Ops thing looks barely larger than a human, I'm not sure if it would fit.

>> No.75883141

>Flippant or non-existent motherly instincts is not attractive.
Man if I could make a period omelette I would but mammals got the short end of the stick.

>> No.75883543
File: 688 KB, 848x950, __mizuno_midori_idolmaster_and_1_more_drawn_by_7010__ba743bb4e9f3dda3a74ed661bd048ffb.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Looks alright. Horns aren't really a centaur trait, but I'll give it a pass so long as she's a druid or sorcerer, or maybe a celestial warlock.

>> No.75883638

I can see how you would think that if you never actually played a game, but assumed they were exactly like a scripted narrative with professional actors and the DM's retarded girlfriend

>> No.75884785


>> No.75884806


>> No.75884819
File: 86 KB, 900x900, 1583351227695.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I 'm sure she'll get along great with my shota centaur.

>> No.75884874

>when even the horse knows

>> No.75884925
File: 51 KB, 600x812, centaur_warrior.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

We might as well make a full party...

>> No.75885072
File: 292 KB, 665x607, 7f10aad844046aa889ddd89d3dfc7f9e.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

OP literally dragged this shit in from reddit.
making these threads should be a bannable offense.

>> No.75885913

I'd tell her to put on a shirt.

>> No.75889956

I liked how Greek philsophers complained about their mythology being dumb and especially pointed at centaurs as something impractical and unlikely to exist.

>> No.75889978

Hey, that's the girl from FFT2 isn't it?

>> No.75892640

you house nerds need to kill yourselves

>> No.75892654


Teach me your ways.

>> No.75892667

"It is done. Alright lads, say hello to your pack animal slave."

>> No.75892745

>no armor
>no weapons
>not a powerful caster since this is a 1st level game
Tonight the goblins shall eat like kings.

>> No.75892764
File: 28 KB, 522x397, 61xKF2GH4NL._AC_SX522_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Horse spines do.

>> No.75892792

I'm sad to hear that stop having fun guys have been around for thousands of years.

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