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75840099 No.75840099 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Hey, do Halflings have sex?

>> No.75840145
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75840145

>>75840099
This is a retarded quote. Of course Hobbits have sex, the end of the book featured multiple Hobbit weddings. They simply didn't fuck "on screen" because Tolkein wasn't interested in describing cocks the way GRRM does.

>> No.75840194

>>75840099
>>75840145
Martin is a fucking hack

>> No.75840236
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75840236

Of course they do, but that wasn't the point of the Legendarium. Tolkien was making an Epic Poem, not shut. Though Tolkien would make very, very cerebral smut.

>> No.75840244

>>75840099
I refuse to believe GRRM can't imagine Hobbits having sex. He's a dirty perverted fuck.

>> No.75840295
File: 173 KB, 550x823, halfling.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75840295

N-no of course halflings don't have sex!

Look at this halfling clearing pests out of her garden. You wouldn't try to have sex with her, would you /tg/?

>> No.75840319

>>75840099
>[...] since you can't imagine hobbits having sex.
Speak for yourself.

>> No.75840320
File: 72 KB, 416x750, halfling 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75840320

Pictured: an innocent halfling out on a walk, totally oblivious to even the concept of sex.

>> No.75840372

Bros. I think the fat in GRRM's jowls has started to replace parts of his brain.

>> No.75840373

sex is literally everywhere - he's right about that; but it doesn't need to be everywhere, especially not in fucking Tolkien

imagine having to read a highly detailed hobbit sex scene, i think it'd only detract from the overall experience personally

>> No.75840376

>>75840099
I don't get this quote. Of course hobbits have sex and of fucking course it can be imagined. They are just short people in terms of their overall appearance. Now, maybe they have prehensile dicks or something that JRR didn't write about, but that's besides the point. Hobbits are not so outlandish that their procreation is utterly alien to us humans is what I'm saying.

>> No.75840377

>>75840145
Its because he can't imagine them saying "fuck" and "cunt" because they are too focused on their manners, so martin assumes they don't have sex because in his mind sex is inherently vulgar.

>> No.75840390

>>75840244
Is he trying to imply that Hobbits are children and that he's not actually a pedo, by professing an inability to visualize Hobbits rolling in the hay?

>> No.75840391

>>75840373
Not gonna lie, I kinda want to read a sex scene written by JRR.

>> No.75840397

>>75840390
He can't picture the British having sex.

>> No.75840409

>>75840377
What about "copulate" and "lady parts"?

>> No.75840412

>>75840099
GRR and most modern authors are unaware that the world existed before it got exposed to it's modern post sixties pornification.

>> No.75840426

>>75840397
It's basically the same except instead of "oh fuck I'm cumming" you say "good heavens I'm arriving".

>> No.75840427

>>75840145
Tolkien's hobbits were probably really strict on potential promiscuity/extramarital sex. I mean, a society placing so much importance in familial gossips where just going on an adventure was enough to brand a guy as a weirdo and bad influence for decades? In such society, a child born out of wedlock or to an undetermined father would have so much shit heaped on them that self-imposed exile would be the only real option.
So no wonder we don't hear about hobbit sex. It's a fact of life, everyone know they do it, but it's not discussed in polite conversation (nor in stories told to kids, which Tolkien's books originally were).

>> No.75840454

>>75840397
I guess that the truth value of that depends on how one defines "sex." Is what British slags engage in, actually sex?

>> No.75840470

>>75840391
I bet hobbits would have those sheets with a hole to stick the weiner through when having sex.

>> No.75840571

>>75840470
Utterly the wrong direction. Hobbits are wholesome and make love in a wholesome manner as an expression of deep emotional love rather than just the crass demands of the flesh. The reason for hobbits often having large families is because they love each other more.

>> No.75840597

Hobbits preferred sex positions are missionary and mating press.

>> No.75840733

>>75840391
>about to nut
>did this bitch just start singing in elvish

>> No.75840802

>>75840099
They do.
You, evidently, do not.

>> No.75840817

>>75840571
Do you think that in Middle Earth there's the term 'hobbit twins' which is analogous to 'Irish twins' from our world?

>> No.75840844

>>75840320
Gender bending faggots deserve the rope.

>> No.75840880

>>75840099
go read some 'Alfie', jack off, then come back to post on the board. stop posting when you're horny.


also GRRM is such a fucking retard for so many reasons. his disdain of Tolkien is one of them. he treats the godfather of fantasy fiction like a retarded uncle he's not allowed to directly insult. so sick of this lazy obese dumbfuck lecturing people and poisoning an entire generation of fantasy fans and writers to think you need to have detailed descriptions of people taking shits to believe in a fictional world.

the Lord of the Rings literally ends with an appendix showing the genealogies; giant trees and lists of who fucked who approximately when and what their cum stains turned into as adults. fuck cashGrab of Drones and fuck anyone who likes it.

>> No.75840889

>>75840880
It's No Nut November. I can't jack off.

>> No.75840906

>>75840817
No. That would require anyone past the Bree lands knowing what the fuck a hobbit even is. Elrond's people only knew what they were because of Bilbo and Rohan only remembered them from old fairy tales despite the Stoors once being a vassal of their people.

Possibly the Bree men or the rangers would have something like "hobbit twins", but that would be all.

>> No.75840922

>>75840099
> .t coomer

>> No.75840967
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75840967

>>75840397

Bong here. Ess-Eee-Inverted-Lozenge is a rather distasteful and unseemly biological function that we must endure with stoic patience as part of our ancient penance since we were cast out of Eden. Duty is sometimes dreary, just lie back and think of England.

>> No.75840994

>>75840099
Every time I see another GRRM quote like this, I become more and more convinced he's never actually read anything by Tolkien. Did he forget Beren and Luthien? Or how Feanor's sons try to abduct her? Or hell, when you have Eol and Aredhel's marriage, the Silmarillion says to the tune of "it wasn't *exactly* rape".

Then we have Rose cotton's courtship by Sam, the tittering gossip as to the marital affairs of Drogo and Primula, and Eowyn's hero-worship turned awkward hitting on with Aragorn. There's sex and sexuality in Tolkien's books. If GRRM didn't notice it, he needs to read more carefully.

>> No.75841023

>>75840099
>you can’t imagine hobbits having, sex can you?
Can I imagine short, plump women melting into their husband’s arms after a sizable, home-cooked meal in front of a roaring fire? No George, I’m not sure I can.

Seriously though, what the fuck?

>> No.75841024

>>75840889
>Non Nut November
stop being single.

>> No.75841033

>>75840295
That angry salamander is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week, thank you anon

>> No.75841064

>>75840377
I just assume hobbits are largely sappy romantics. They never curse, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t explicit. That, or they just use a lot of food analogies

>> No.75841069
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75841069

>>75840099

>> No.75841097

>>75840733
>going down on him
>was that black speech?

>> No.75841120

>>75840889
That’s what lent is for chucklefuck, go beat your meat or find a mate. Then come on back to post

>> No.75841149

>>75840454
Naw mate we dinnae huv sex we jist have quickies aun shags.

>> No.75841153
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75841153

>>75840391

>A sex scene by JRR

[17] For þām hit is on ūs eallum swutol and ġesēne þæt wē ǣr þysan oftor brǣcan þonne wē bēttan, and þȳ is þysse þēode fela onsǣġe. [18] Ne dohte hit nū lange inne ne ūte, ac wæs here and hunger, bryne and blōdgyte on ġewelhwylċan ende oft and ġelōme. [19] And ūs stalu and cwalu, strīċ and steorfa, orfcwealm and uncoþu, hōl and hete and rȳpera rēaflāc derede swȳþe þearle, and ūs unġylda swȳþe ġedrehtan, and ūs unwedera foroft wēoldan unwæstma. [20] For þām on þysan earde wæs, swā hit þinċan mæġ, nū fela ġēara unriht fela and tealte ġetrȳwða ǣġhwǣr mid mannum. [21] Ne bearh nū foroft ġesib ġesibban þe mā þe fremdan, ne fæder his bearne, ne hwīlum bearn his āgenum fæder, ne brōþor ōþrum; ne ūre ǣniġ his līf ne fadode swā swā hē scolde, ne ġehādode regollīċe, ne lǣwede lahlīċe. [22] Ac worhtan lust ūs tō lage ealles tō ġelōme, and nāþor ne hēoldan ne lāre ne lage Godes ne manna swā swā wē scoldan. [23] Ne ǣniġ wið ōþerne ġetrȳwlīċe þōhte swā rihte swā hē scolde, ac mǣst ǣlċ swicode and ōþrum derede wordes and dǣde, and hūru unrihtlīċe mǣst ǣlċ ōþerne æftan hēaweþ sceandlican onscytan, dō māre ġif hē mæġe.

>> No.75841185

>>75840426
epic reddit joke! Upvoted. :^)

>> No.75841195

>>75841153

>ne fæder his bearne

Kinky.

>> No.75841199
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75841199

>>75840099
I believe the taxposting one, but there's no way this one's real

>> No.75841263

>>75840844
What are you talking about?

>> No.75841800

>>75840427
>In such society, a child born out of wedlock or to an undetermined father would have so much shit heaped on them that self-imposed exile would be the only real option.
Isn't that a dead on description for one of the Tooks? Bilbo or Frodo's uncle or something.

>> No.75841849

>>75840295
>>75840320
>trying to downplay that she's absolutely stacked
I would absolutely have sex with this halfling.

>> No.75841883
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75841883

>>75840236
My god, what would Tolkien-written smut even look like?

>> No.75841898

>>75840889
you misunderstood. it's nonstop nut november

>> No.75841926

>>75841800
Also worth remembering that the majority of hobbits we see are upper class hobbies interacting with upper class hobbits and one lower class lad who is on his best manners.

>> No.75841957
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75841957

>>75840099
>GRRM is competing with Patrick Rothfuss on who can be the horniest AND who can take the longest to get the next fucking book to the publishers

>> No.75841998

I seem to recall someone writing a paper or article on how sensuality is present in Tolkien, only not so much in T&A as in Tolkiens descriptions of the hair of pretty women. Galadriel in particular.
So I guess he was some sort of hairfag, if that theory holds true.

>> No.75842069

>>75841883
You know how detailed Tolkien is with scenes of trees and landscapes and histories? Imagine him describing every inch of a thirsty hobbit wench.

>> No.75842112

>>75841883
Horrifically verbose and somehow still hot

>> No.75842180

>>75841998
>So I guess he was some sort of hairfag, if that theory holds true.
Absolutely patrician.

>> No.75842217

>>75842180
I mean, at least he didn't fear his own desire if that was the case.
C.S. Lewis had a pretty obvious, raging boner for Jadis but had to make her the villain, rather than his waifu.

>> No.75842230

>>75841153
>worhtan lust us to lage
People were complaining about ye olde coomer even then.

>> No.75842277

>>75842217
I wonder what implications it has for hobbits, given their hirsuteness.

>> No.75842286
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75842286

>>75840880
>disdain of Tolkien
Stop. GRRM loves Tolkien and references his work constantly, even writing a book about a rock band called the Nazgul. The whole "tax policy" meme is a massively blown out of proportion, incredibly minor comment of his that Tolkien tends to gloss over the daily struggles and organization of a medieval society in order to focus on spirituality, while GRRM finds them fascinating. His books are his "answer" to Tolkien because, unlike most critics, he actually wrote a fucking book to show everybody what he wanted to see in LOTR. Your simplistic analysis is bullshit.

>> No.75842331

>>75841998
Tolkien and GRRM disagree in that Tolkien sees nothing dirty or wrong about sex, but thinks it’s intimate and personal, while GRRM thinks it’s gross and profane but meaningless and primarily a pleasurable moving of parts. Much like using the bathroom, it’s absurd and stupid to think the hobbits didn’t use the bathroom, but Tolkien (for obvious reasons) didn’t feel the need to write pages about how sunset found them shitting next to bilbo’s stone trolls.

The only place I could remotely imagine sex at all being relevant is as a way of tempting people to serve evil (as sex itself in its proper form and function isn’t something to write in detail about) but not only is that not really how the evils of the world (specifically in their mythological roots) function, it’s also not a very great tool for seducing the most devout and powerful figures we see in lotr. Notice Sauron tries to corrupt heroes by perverting their core good purposes rather than assaulting them with temptations of his own making.
This is all to say, GRRM is a retard hack and as much as I do enjoy asoif, I roll my eyes at almost every quote I see from him.

>> No.75842520

>ITT: tolkiots assblasted that their "sub-God" was never smart enough to develop a coherent tax policy, or eloquent enough to describe Eowyn's diarrhea

>> No.75842525

>>75840099
Yes. The wholesome degenerate kind.

>> No.75842632

>>75842217
>C.S. Lewis had a pretty obvious, raging boner for Jadis but had to make her the villain, rather than his waifu.

Impossibly based

>> No.75842691

>>75842286
>GRRM loves Tolkien
No he doesn't. He says he does, but he clearly doesn't understand JRRT's work at all, and I think that disqualifies him as loving it.

>> No.75842851

>>75842331
His writing is just gross. Like not even just the senseless violence and sex, but how he writes just sounds like a creep.

>> No.75842921

>>75842632
I ,for one, found Jadis quite hot, even as a wee lad.

>> No.75842928

>>75840099
Is Gurm just JK Rowling for adults?

>> No.75843022

>>75840967
Oscar Wilde thought otherwise

>> No.75843075

>>75842928
Yes, he's an old fat pervert who can't write, and he constantly says "I love tolkien BUT" because nitpicking the greatest fantasy writer in history is a way he attempts to validate his own works

>> No.75843080

>>75842851
I know what you mean. McCarthy writes one of the bloodiest books in history and its profound, downright incredible.
George writes pulp and you get the sickening suspicion he was beating off to it

>> No.75843101
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75843101

>>75842286
GRRM "loves" Tolkein the same way the dyehairs who write shit like Magical Girl Friendship Squad "love" anime.

>> No.75843139

>>75841153
>>75840391
>In a hole in the mound there thrust a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

>> No.75843559

>>75842691
You're an idiot.

>> No.75843585

>>75842691
>>75843101
/pol/cel got exposed for not knowing anything about either Tolkien or GRRM and was comprehensively BTFO.

>> No.75843629

>>75843585
You will never be a woman

>> No.75843653

>>75843585
The fuck are you on about? What does /pol/ have to do with anything. And wouldn't a "/pol/cel" be someone who is politically celibate or at least /pol/ celibate, meaning they abstain from political and/or /pol/ related shitflinging? In which case, wouldn't being a /pol/cel be a good thing since the rampant politicization of the current era is why everyone looks on the verge of balkanizing?

>> No.75843656

>>75843629
And that's a good thing. You however will never have sex.

>> No.75843672 [DELETED] 
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75843672

>>75843653
>And wouldn't a "/pol/cel" be someone who is politically celibate or at least /pol/ celibate, meaning they abstain from political and/or /pol/ related shitflinging? In which case, wouldn't being a /pol/cel be a good thing since the rampant politicization of the current era is why everyone looks on the verge of balkanizing?

>> No.75843676

>>75843559
Not at all. Anyone who says that Tolkien espoused a medieval philosophy of leadership and not an early modern one, or that in Tolkien, the land prospers if the king is a good man, is simply wrong, and by a colossal degree. The books that GRRM has in mind when he praises Tolkien's authorship only vaguely resemble the books that Tolkien actually wrote, which is why GRRM keeps making idiotic misstatements about them.

>> No.75843713

>>75843656
Chud

>> No.75843734

>>75843672
>trying to be politically agnostic is a bad thing!
You don't actually play traditional games, do you?

>> No.75843735

>>75843676
Give me one example in Tolkien of the land not prospering when the king is a good man.
>Theoden and Rohan
Theoden wasn't in charge of his faculties when Rohan was in decline. Wormtongue was effectively in charge.

As I said, you're an idiot.

>> No.75843746

>>75843713
>>75843734
>/pol/cel(s) desperately try to divert attention away from the fact they got BTFO

>> No.75843755

>>75843735
Mordor is prosperous when their king is a malevolent nonhuman intelligence and thus is neither good nor a man.

>> No.75843791
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75843791

>>75843755
Holy shit you really are an idiot. You actually think that's a clever response. I was just trolling but it turns out you really are a moron.
Mordor isn't prosperous, neither is it a realm as such and Sauron isn't a king. It doesn't apply in any way.

>> No.75843798 [DELETED] 

>>75843746
>tranny trying to divert away from the fact that he got molested as a kid
Sad! Many such cases.

>> No.75843809

>>75843755
Any society gets prosperous when ruled by a malevolent nonhuman intelligence. Alexa can't take over soon enough.

>> No.75843811

>>75843735
>Give me one example in Tolkien of the land not prospering when the king is a good man.
I'll give you three. Numenor under Tar-Miriel, Gondor under Telamnar, and Rohan under Theoden.

>Theoden wasn't in charge of his faculties when Rohan was in decline. Wormtongue was effectively in charge.
So, in other words, the king being a good man wasn't enough to ensure prosperity, he needs to be able to tell the difference from friend and foe and act with vigor and judgment. Don't forget, that when Gandalf revives Theoden, and gets rid of Wormtongue, he suggests that the old king quasi-abdicate in favor of Eomer. Hardly a vote of confidence even when the supposed problem in his rule was removed.

>> No.75843813

>>75841185
have you tried not being a faggot?

>> No.75843826

>>75843139
Underrated.

>> No.75843846
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75843846

>>75843791
>Sauron isn't a king.
Sounds like you're the moron.

>> No.75843890

>>75843811
Tar Miriel is female. Not a king. She was also never in charge of the land because Pharzon married her and became king instead. You fail.

>Telamnar
It doesn't say whether he's good or not.

>Theoden
Lol, at no point is is stated that "goodness" is the ONLY requirement for good stewardship of the land. What a fucking retarded argument. Your only recourse is to autistically hairsplit? What a fucking failure at life you are.

>> No.75844038

>>75843890
>Tar Miriel is female. Not a king
Oh you hair splitter. Fine, I'll bring in Thror instead, or are you going to invent some objection where it's dwarven kings?

> She was also never in charge of the land because Pharzon married her and became king instead
So, in other words, she didn't exercise her rightful reign and things went to crap.

>It doesn't say whether he's good or not.
Sure it does. He gives immense help to the Rhovanionites and is valiant against the people of Umbar. You may as well say none of the kings in the legendarium are listed as good.

>Lol, at no point is is stated that "goodness" is the ONLY requirement
Actually, Gurm says exactly that.

> Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper.
It's a very clear if-then formation. If King is a good man, then the land prospers. Not, if the king is a good man, then the land might prosper but maybe not depending on a wide variety of other factors I won't mention.

>Your only recourse is to autistically hairsplit?
That's hilarious since your entire argument is built around making strawmen and flat out lying.

>> No.75844088

>>75844038
>Thror
Greedy to the point of imprudence precludes "good".

>Sure it does. He gives immense help to the Rhovanionites and is valiant against the people of Umbar.
Brave and wise do not neecesarily mean good.

>Actually, Gurm says exactly that.
No he really doesn't. Only a genuine autist or a dishonest disingenuous fellow arguing in bad faith would claim that he said it was the ONLY requirement. It doesn't even hold up purely logically. Just because it was the only thing he mentioned doesn't mean it's the only thing. It would be a fallacy to claim.

>That's hilarious since your entire argument is built around making strawmen and flat out lying.
You are misusing these terms.

How many times can one man fail in a night? You're on course to set some kind of record? Did someone call you smart once and you believed them? Oh my sweet summer child, they lied to you. You're a dumbass.

>> No.75844114

>>75844088
Wow, not him but you sound like a retard grasping at straws.

>> No.75844131

>>75844038
>>75844088
>So, in other words, she didn't exercise her rightful reign and things went to crap.
In other words, irrelevant.

>> No.75844148

>>75842286
the virgin multiple kingdoms in prehistory england with well defined interwoven histories for each vs the chad single empire europe island with a population in the billions and thousands of years of history in which six events happen

>> No.75844211
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75844211

if GRRM had his way, shelob would be an untrustworthy humanoid woman with a sexy ass who used to fuck sauron but then turns on him and helps someone destroy the ring over not being fucked anymore.

oh wait.

>> No.75844225

>>75844088
>Greedy to the point of imprudence precludes "good".
Except he's not. He's generous, loyal to his family, and valiaint in battle.

>Brave and wise do not neecesarily mean good.
Helping your friends is not good. You heard it here folks. Every single thing we hear about Telamnar's reign is positive, except of course that whole plague thing that killed half the country.

>No he really doesn't.
He really does. You are lying, or just unbelievably stupid. It's part the infamous tax policy quote, his exact words were

>Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it’s not that simple.
It's not my fault he's a total moron. It is in fact the only requirement he mentions Tolkien setting for the land's prosperity. It is in fact the popular conception for how medieval philosophies of ruling worked. It is what GRRM claimed.

> It doesn't even hold up purely logically.
No, it doesn't. That's why it's such a fucking idiotic thing to say. But GRRM did in fact say that.

>You are misusing these terms.
Nope. But I'm starting to see why you like Martin and defend him so rabidly. It must be a very interesting world you live in.

>> No.75844299
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75844299

>>75843139

>> No.75844312

>>75844299
if only he wasn't a namefag it'd be 100

>> No.75844332

>>75840099
This is retarded. Normal people dont tend to kiss and tell. Its not because theyre ashamed either, its just because you dont need to blurt or gossip or brag about what you do with your significant other.
Only a porn addict would see things so black and white like this.

On a more literature focused take:
ASOIAF isnt better because GRRM detailed the dyke sex Cersei had with her aid, nor was it improved by writing out any of the sex scenes (aside from Jon and Ygritte, and only to show how much he loved her after he ended up choosing honor and duty, over love).
None of GRRM's sex scenes are particularly well written or interesting. And they add nothing to the stories being told.

Chekov's gun applies here.
Gratuitous sex scenes are gratuitous.

>> No.75844888

>>75843746
Not him chuddite, but you awful livid at some supposed /pol/cel retard, isn't he supposed to be the pissed off one?

>> No.75845008
File: 18 KB, 305x305, pussy magnet.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75845008

>>75840099
Imagine how much sex this guy used to have

>> No.75845103

>>75843746
You have brain problems that HRT can't fix and I hope you get real help some day my friend.

>> No.75845293

>>75843735
not who you're talking to, but nations do prosper when ruled by good and just men. and they suffer when ruled by sinful and smallminded men.

>> No.75845306

>>75844312
Yeah, that was my bad. I didnt see it before I hit go

>> No.75845309
File: 460 KB, 1428x2200, 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75845309

>>75841998
A trait he passed on to gimli no doubt
>>75842217
She's a mommy who likes short guys so I can relate

>> No.75845356

>>75840377
That's because they'd say "Make Love" and "Womanhood" for those terms.
Example: "So, I saw my wife Doris' womanhood from under her skirt at the end of second-breakfast when she kicked her legs up to put her feet on the table, and I've been thinking about how much I'd like to make love to her tonight all afternoon."

That's how a hobbit would say it. As opposed to "I saw me wifey's cunt this morning and I been horny all day! Can't wait to fuck her tonight!"
Which is still a fine way to write, but it's not how they talked in LotR.

>> No.75845393

>>75844211
Every so often, I forget that Stoya was in a video game, and then someone on the internet has to ruin that for me

>> No.75845401

Of course there's no sex, the majority of lotr is a bunch of dudes rambling cross country, and they ain't queer.

>> No.75846261

>>75845393
Is it actually her?

>> No.75846410

>>75840099
not sure why he couldn't imagine them having sex, they had a shit ton of leisure time and big families with a huge importance laid on them

>> No.75846483

SUNSET

>> No.75846513

>>75840320
Have you seen the festivals they throw? This halfling is intimately familiar with the concept of sex, if not the practice. She looks more like the "English landed gentry" halflings than the "surprisingly durable flower child" halflings, so it's likely she's having to dodge(and occasionally brain with that stick)unwanted advances every summer

>> No.75846541

>>75841957
Seriously, what was up with Rothfuss? His MC spends a month with the Goddess of Sex clapping cheeks and staying alive through sheer magical willpower, then went to No Facial Expressions Free Love Land for a while, then continues to whore his way through magical college. We're experiencing multiple magical realms here

>> No.75846545

>>75845356
>make love to her tonight all afternoon
Talk about your interesting times...

>> No.75846554

>>75845008
>he's got a fucking medallion or something
He held every woman he met under his sorcerous control

>> No.75846596
File: 97 KB, 647x864, elder thing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75846596

>>75844332
>This is retarded. Normal people dont tend to kiss and tell. Its not because theyre ashamed either, its just because you dont need to blurt or gossip or brag about what you do with your significant other.
Are you some sort of alien from a world where beings reproduce by releasing clouds of spores or something? Because this shows a serious lack of insight into the ways humans operate.

>> No.75846678

>>75844332
>its just because you dont need to blurt or gossip or brag about what you do with your significant other.
The tales told far and wide of your mother say otherwise

>> No.75846795

>>75840295
>>75840320
Cute!

>> No.75846818

>>75840099
>can't imagine hobbits having sex

>two(or more depending on setting)short people pip pip the diddly doo
>maybe there is a snack break

It's not that hard, it's just normal sex but with hobbits, that's not rea-
wait a minute

>> No.75846819

>>75846795
Agreed. Female halflings/hobbits are cute, comfy and wholesome at the same time

>> No.75846828

>>75846541
Don't forget about his girlfriend fucks another man and yet when [PLOT] presumably she dies while he saves the world given the preamble he's so devastated he quits the world

>> No.75846840

>>75846828
>Always Sunny theme plays
>"Kvothe Forgets to Quicksave"

>> No.75846889

Considering the number of halfling bards I've had to deal with... yes, of course they have sex.

>> No.75846893

>>75846261
no, too much chest. stoya is all about face and audio.

>> No.75846961

>>75846261
no, I'm just meming from the fact that her face and general body type is so similar, I'm convinced that they modeled sexy shelob off of her

>> No.75846978

>>75841957

At least GRRM has a large bibliography to his name. Rothfuss has two books and a novella.

>> No.75847015

>>75840397
>Continental people have sex lives: the English have hot water bottles.
George Mikes, "How to be an Alien", 1946

>> No.75847099
File: 779 KB, 2448x3264, The Cuck of the Wind.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75847099

>>75841957
>Rothfuss

>> No.75847151

>>75845393
>when you catch yourself thinking about shelob's arsehole gaping.
Abstract feel.

>> No.75847189

>>75842520
What is Danaerys' tax policy?

>> No.75847769

>>75843022
Well he was a deviant, of course he'd have the wrong opinion.

>> No.75847879

>>75847099
what does he have that his bulls don't

>> No.75847885

>>75847879
An emotional connection.

>> No.75847940

>>75847189
She has no good policies, on taxes or anything, just quippy one liners with no regard for consaquences. She is an effective warlord but a terrible leader.

>> No.75848027

>>75847940
What's Ned's tax policy? What's Roberts? What's Edmure and his father's? What's Jon Arryns? What's Lysa Arryns? What's Illyrios? What kind of taxation system does the North use in comparison to the South? Do the Dornish collect any taxes?

I was just making the point that it's funny he ever said that and yet the only time a tax policy was ever mentioned in the series was when Tywin made people pay extra for whores.

>> No.75848135

>>75847885
I would say that's valuable if he wasn't romantically hung up on her despite all the dicks that aren't his she's taken. Also lol not even a hug means she doesn't give a shit so he doesn't even actually have that

>> No.75848189
File: 90 KB, 407x545, vera_pervert.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75848189

>>75840099

>> No.75848199

>>75840372
>started to

>> No.75848220

>>75844332
>None of GRRM's sex scenes are particularly well written or interesting.
Probably because he's clearly some sort of autistic scat fetishist.

>> No.75848228

>>75848027
Wearer's fiscal policy seems to be to borrow an ever larger amount of money from not italia.

>> No.75848272

>>75843101
What is that? I don't follow cartoons all that much nowadays.

>> No.75848298

>>75840194
>Martin is a fucking hack
This

>> No.75849723

>>75843890
>Tar Miriel is female. Not a king
Not actually how that works. King is a government position that holds no requirements involving gender in many cases, and Europe has in fact seen several female Kong’s due to this

>> No.75849738

>>75840099
>you can't imagine hobbits having sex
That...sounds like a lack of imagination on his part, but given his series we all knew he lacked one of those anyways.

>> No.75849743

>>75840194
/thread

>> No.75849760

>>75846818
>maybe there is a snack break
How in the hell are you the first person in the thread to suggest this?

>> No.75849951
File: 1.52 MB, 1059x802, 1557938773521.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75849951

>>75840099
Why is Martin seething about LOTR harder than Michael Moorcock?

>> No.75850150

>>75843080
Which mccarthy book?

>> No.75850189

>>75844211
>an arachnophobe huh? I bet that means you want to fuck spiders!

>> No.75850215

>>75840099
>or should be
What an incel

>> No.75850235

>>75840295
I wouldn't have sex with female Hobbits but only because I have a giantess/tall women fetish and tiny girls turn me off

>> No.75850249

>>75848027
>Tywin made people pay extra for whores.
Truly his death was well deserved then.

>> No.75850278

>>75850235
t. low test

>>75850150
Blood Meridian is the only good McCarthy book so I assume he means that.

>> No.75850289

>>75846513
>For the last time, stop trying to get me to "ride on your maypole" Mr Merrywithers

>> No.75850905

>>75850278
In fairness not everyone who likes tall/muscular women are low t. It's the submissives that are a problem.
But I suppose "giantess" handles that question.

>> No.75851020

>>75847099
Is this meant to be some sort of sad comedy?

>> No.75851169

>>75840099
Fascinating Martin fascinating indeed HOWEVER.

What do they fucking eat in Westeros during the fucking winter? Winters that go on for years at a time, that doesn't raise questions for you Martin? Not even enough to address it once in the entire fucking series? Are we to simply skip over the fact that ten year winter cycles would result in the extinction of virtually all herbivorous life as we know it on Earth? How are there still deer, Martin? How are there still deer, Martin? Do you know what deer eat? Cabbage seeds prior to the invention of cryopreservation had a viable storage life of about four years. How are there still cabbages, Martin? How do squirrels still exist, Martin?

You spend too much time thinking about cum, Martin. You're a cumbrain, Martin. Even when you write about food you write about eating it and never about where it fucking comes from, Martin. Martin, life is very full of farming, or should be, and as much as I admire your scatological morality play about totally morally ambiguous gray characters like Janos Slynt or Euron Greyjoy or Vargo Hoat the Evil Goat or the Mountain that Rapes, and I think you've written a terrible book series that is already being forgotten - you do have to wonder where all of that fucking food came from.

>> No.75851249

>>75850215
Incels aren't real. Everyone who hasn't had sex is a volcel unless they've tried raping a woman and somehow failed.

>> No.75851293

>>75840295
I wouldn't tackle her and fuck her up her skirt, but only because she's so cute and wholesome that I feel like I have to earn it by romancing her and eventually marrying her.

>> No.75851483
File: 48 KB, 600x586, Brennus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75851483

>>75851249
>tfw you fail at rape

>> No.75851505

>>75851249
Woah there, buddy, they could be quadruple amputees. Mighty hard raping someone, if you are one of those.

>> No.75851634
File: 41 KB, 611x590, Curry.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75851634

>>75851249
I feel that the entire incel meme was leading up to this revelation.

>> No.75851968

>>75850235
It's OK anon, small is cute and I don't like larger women so there's something for everyone.

>> No.75852004

>>75851505
>Mighty hard raping someone, if you are one of those.
You keep telling yourself that, buddy, any excuse not to try right?

>> No.75852151

>>75848189
Aging tranny face

>> No.75852191 [SPOILER] 
File: 119 KB, 250x350, 1604941239060.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75852191

>>75849723
>Europe has in fact seen several female Kong’s
Yeah but none of them were THE LEADER OF THE BUNCH, YOU KNOW HIM WELL

>> No.75852216

>>75844114
no argument faggot

>> No.75852229

>>75845103
you literally got exposed retard

>> No.75852245

>>75844148
t. has never read asoiaf
don't post if you don't know what you are talking about dumbfuck

>> No.75852249

>>75848272
Imagine if someone had a deadline to write a magical girl show, left it to the last minute, and had to look at precure memes and the laconia pages on TV Tropes to catch up.

>> No.75852276

>>75842851
read more books pussy

>> No.75852294

>>75851169
I'm pretty sure lifeforms on a planet that regularly gets winters lasting for years and even generations will have evolved and adapted to survive prolonged winters.

>> No.75852334

>>75849738
retarded post

>> No.75852346

>>75840145
Ia this fat asshole still pretending book 6 is coming

>> No.75852372

>>75852151
not really? she's just a middle aged woman in a setting without many cosmetics or surgeries.

>> No.75852441

>>75852372
Looks like an aging femboy trying to look like a middle aged woman since incase only knows how to draw one face. So now instead of looking like a mild on the decline it looks like hon about to explain to gamestop how IT'S MA'AM

>> No.75852468

>>75852334
for a retarded author of a retarded series

>> No.75852484

>>75852441
naw there are unlikable cunts who are genetically women that look like this. they drink Franzia by the gallon, alone on christmas.

>> No.75852490

>>75852229
You want to expose yourself to kids

>> No.75852502

>>75852484
And they look like aging trannies. Ugly, unlikeable biowoms are the closest thing a tranny gets to "passing", after all.

>> No.75852517

>>75852502
okay fair point i laughed

>> No.75852547

>>75840099
Wait, is this an actual quote?
Or just an edit of the tax quote?

>> No.75852592
File: 1.50 MB, 250x233, 1598265921294.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75852592

>>75840099
why is every single one of George's hot takes such utter shit?

>> No.75852604

>>75852592
Because subversion fags are brainlets, every fucking time.

>> No.75852646
File: 427 KB, 834x364, bbbfa594d0561ecd5a8893be200925fd568bb9fad145c7e98e8a6903ca2ab8c6.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75852646

>>75840295
>>75840320

>> No.75852749

>>75852592

Because he ends up falling into the very things he criticizes? Remember him bitching about Gandalf coming back from the dead?

What is Euron Greyjoy's tax policy?

>> No.75852765

>>75841097
>Hitting it from behind
>Feel the nut coming
>lean down and mournfully whisper to her
>"For Frodo."

>> No.75852780

>>75852592
Because he's not that bright frankly. He's a miserable old cunt that can't grasp that sometimes having a sense of wonder about something is actually part of what makes it enjoyable.

Not everything has to be subversion and the characters having fully detailed Curry shimmies every other chapter.

>> No.75852810

>>75840099
It's called "inference," which is the process of piecing together logical information without being explicitly told; this sort of thing requiring only the most basic forms of cognitive function.
But I wouldn't expect a fucking hack who hinges on subversions and puts his incest and feces fetishes in his writings.

>> No.75852873

Nobody in this thread has ever read a single GoT book. You all make it so blatantly obvious when you repeat the exact same buzzwords you've heard from other people who also never read the books.

>> No.75852948

>>75852873
I've read them all so far. I think he was amazing at pacing the chapters in the earlier books which was a large part of what cemented his appeal imo, though the quality of the pacing and story structure dropped a lot in the last 2 books. Other than that he's slightly above average at worldbuilding

>> No.75853077

>>75852873
Keep projecting there buddy. And to prove my bona fides: Grandbastards is a funny word to describe some of Walder Frey's extended progeny, Gurm hugely telegraphed Robb Stark's total failure by being the only one of the kids (aside from Rickon who is a toddler) to never have any chapters narrated from his point of view, and if the fat slob was actually honest in his "anyone can die, no characters have plot armor", Arya would have been killed about 15 times over before she got away to Essos.

>> No.75853091

>>75852441
No, he knew one face that was good, in trying to branch out he ended up stuck with only ugly old hags and pixar younger ones. Or the snake and alien chicks I guess.

>> No.75853093

>>75840099
Finish your books before you croak you sausage-fingered assdragger or these quotes will make you look like a fool of a tool. “Incomplete world” is preferred to “incomplete story”. A Dream of Spring will die a dream.

>> No.75853135

>>75853093
Completely wrong. His quotes already make him look like a fool of a tool, even if he does finish his series. They're just stupid and often based on completely unsupportable 'readings' of the texts he's commenting on.

>> No.75853175

>>75851249
Woke up my roommate. Perkele.

>> No.75853200
File: 3 KB, 223x263, why.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75853200

>>75852294
And that might actually be interesting, which is why it's a shame that we never get to fucking SEE any of them.

>> No.75853235

>>75851169
Hideously based. I'm using this any time somebody "quibbles" about Lord of the Rings.

>> No.75853275

>>75840099
Oh, George, I can imagine it *very well*, thanks to
>>75840295

... that being said, there's a lot of shitting on GRRM in this thread, but I think he's a pretty good author, I wouldn't put him up there in the pantheon with Tolkien and Pratchett, but he still built a deep and interesting world *and* a complex plot with a lot of interesting twists.

>> No.75853517

>>75840295

The average Halfing male is around 3 feet tall, assuming everything is similarly scaled to a average human male of 6 foot, then the average Halfing dick is a little under three inches long

>> No.75853556

>>75853517
>date Halfling
>everyone knows you're a dicklet

>> No.75853561

>>75853556
If Human women can take BBC then a Halfling can take an average human cock.

>> No.75853568

>>75853561
Big Bavarian Cock.

>> No.75853673
File: 1.02 MB, 1200x1080, 1573586973941.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75853673

>>75853561
>blacks aren't human
Pretty based for a cuckposter.

>> No.75853699

>>75853091
>Or the snake and alien chicks I guess.
Still look like femboys. Dude never learned how to draw faces that aren't soft but mannish

>> No.75853742
File: 34 KB, 320x320, 1488124851369.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75853742

>>75851169
Why did my brain read this in Ricks voice from Rick and Morty?

>> No.75853895

>>75853556

>Be human male of of above average length.

>Halfling gf tells every one of her female friends about you and how you absolutely destroy her in the sack.

>Now no Halfling woman in the village can look at you with out blushing.

>Praise Pelor

>> No.75853909
File: 905 KB, 826x1000, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75853909

Do Nixies have sex?

>> No.75854042

>>75853909

Yes but other Races confusing wet with consent is a major problem for them

>> No.75854070

>>75854042
>>75853909
They're fish, they spew out eggs and the male spews out semen.

>> No.75854122

>>75853895
>above average
I get this is a fantasy for you, but let's not get too crazy here

>> No.75854130

>>75843022
Oscar Wilde was Irish

>> No.75854134

>>75852191
Goddamn it.

>> No.75854158

>>75851169
You forget that winter means the entire outdoors become a free walk in (walk out?) freezer so all the food gets preserved all winter for free qed mother fucker

>> No.75854173

>>75853517
Halflings actually have larger dicks than humans by average. Every halfling is enormously well hung proportionate to their size.

>> No.75854190

>>75854042
>confusing wet with consent
I've read that hentai, too.

>> No.75854196

>>75851249
Obviously. But admitting that would mean incels assume responsibility for their failings and ain't nobody got time for that. Much better to blame all women and the society that raised them to not put up with assholes.

>> No.75854199

>>75853742
>aggressive rant that ends nearly every sentence with "Martin"
>aggressive rant that ends nearly every sentence with "Morty"
Gee I wonder why

>> No.75854208
File: 27 KB, 220x354, 1A4E9FF3-333F-4FD5-93AD-30957436E285.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75854208

>>75852646

>> No.75854211

>>75854196
You sound like an incel

>> No.75854224

>>75854130
'irish.'

>> No.75854346

>>75854208
You didn't need to make me cry, anon

>> No.75854705

>>75851169
Kek
"What was westeros' agricultural policy" is now the perfect response to questions about Aragorn's taxes.

>> No.75854740

>>75851249
Been saying this for awhile now. Go ahead and keep calling guys incels because they aren't getting laid, and eventually they're gonna realize that rape is getting laid and they're pissed off at the women who mocked them enough to not care about hurting them.

>> No.75854765

>>75852334
Seething retard

>> No.75854839

>>75854740
a good example would be dworkin & co. 1st-2nd wave feminists were obviously incels, 'lesbians' who never had a choice or pity fucks.
if women had responded to those feminists the way that men respond to roosh types then i doubt they'd ever have gotten the vote. it takes a very weak mind to accede to that kind of henpecking, 'do what i want or you're an x,' but most men are weak minded, and they pretend to others that they are on top of the pyramid simply to avoid degradation in status - those men who are on top don't care if women are in the kitchen or on the moon, since life for them will be good any way you cut it.
subordinate men, in aping these guys, burn their own interests for the sake of play acting.
who would have thought that, at the end of it, men were the servile sex all along?

>> No.75855299

>>75854740
>>75854839

H U R R A Y F O R G A M E S

>> No.75855664

>>75855299
This thread was never about games.

>> No.75855881

>>75840099
the more he opens his mouth the more I think that he's a total hack fraud

>> No.75855942

>>75854158
seeds have a shelf life.
SEEDS HAVE A SHELF LIFE.
ALL FARMABLE CROPS WOULD GO EXTINCT IN A 10 YEAR WINTER.
READ NIGGA READ

>> No.75855961

>>75853742
yo maybe the cabbage seeds survive the westeros winters because a bunch of unfunny cartoon characters store the seeds in their assholes?

>> No.75855989

Does GRRM have worse world building than Harry Potter? The more I read this thread the more I'm convinced.

>> No.75856040

>>75840099
Damn he forgot to include anything that might persuade the reader. This guy gets paid to write? lol

>> No.75856059

>>75855989
yes and no.
his world-building flaws are probably much much worse than HP purely because he and his fans expect you to take ASOIAF soooo much more seriously than Harry Potter, which remained a series targeted at children for fun until those children grew up to be retards.

>> No.75856083

>>75855989
Nah. It's terrible, don't get me wrong, but HP is way worse.

>> No.75856096

>>75855989
Yes

>> No.75856209

>>75856083
Yeah, in terms of world building I'd rank

Tolkien, Pratchett (hard to rank, different styles) > GRRM > Warhammer > J.K. Rowling > Me > That guy who made a thread yesterday with dumb rivers and provinces in "Lourne" > Age of Sigmar.

>> No.75856474

>>75843653
No, no, no, stop. You're trying to have an intelligent conversation with somebody who thinks the Daily Show is a news channel.

>> No.75856634

>>75840099
He didn't say hobbits don't have sex. He said it's hard to imagine that they do because their culture isn't vulgar.

>> No.75856857

>>75856634
They're wholesome down-to-earth country folk who enjoy nothing more than a good meal, walk around barefoot, and sing songs about drinking beer. Sex totally fits into that picture.

Maybe I'm biased by having grown up listening to the (French) songs of George Brassens, who sings about wholesome young country folks boinking (La Chasse aux Papillons, Je suis un Voyou, Comme Hier, Brave Margot). But it also ties into some romantic notions tying bucolic life to love stories, the idealisation of young shepherdesses etc. (typically, in "Arcadia")

Heck, in the whole of middle earth, the hobbits sound *by far* like the most likely to be boinking offscreen ... the elves are above such matters, the humans are tied up in their wars and politics and drama, the orcs and trolls don't seem to have any women (they grow from the ground?), the dwarves seem to all have a bunch of weird hangups, and the ents got ditched by their women.

>> No.75856903

>>75843735
Arnor had some good kings and princes, all of which died, and their kingdom was turned to dust

>> No.75856981

>>75856857
>They're wholesome down-to-earth country folk who enjoy nothing more than a good meal, walk around barefoot, and sing songs about drinking beer. Sex totally fits into that picture.
Exactly my point. The enjoy the simple things. They're not overtly sexual because sex is just another one of life's simple pleasures to them, but they're also very tactful and polite.

>> No.75856986

>>75851169
this, i actually dont dislike ASOIAF but i think about this all the time, and the question looms more and more in the later books when winter is finally coming.
in the last book, at the wall, and in winterfell (the bad guys have it now), everybody is already starving to death and winter just started weeks ago lmao. apparently they are going to survive the next 5-10 years somehow?

>> No.75857047

It's easiest to assume they have sex but I could also see a setting where halfling children come from baking a giant magic pastry like that guy who makes clones in Dorohedoro.

>> No.75857065

>>75851020
he literally inserted a chick who cucked him into his books, and admitted to it in an interview

>> No.75857176

>>75856634
And neither is sex unless you feel the need to narrate it like gurm.

>> No.75857287

>>75841883
Much like everything he wrote, it would be extremely verbose but descriptive to the point that your minds eye can picture exactly what he pictured

>> No.75857602

>>75841898
It's No Net November. Get off the internet.

>> No.75857641

>>75848298
Dumb take, the guy is a great writer, his sandkings story is prob the best SciFi short story I've ever read

>> No.75857659

>>75854839
There's a quote supposedly from Margaret Atwood "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
I've generally found it to be rather interesting, because it completely disregards the fact that throughout history and across many cultures, a woman laughing (lets be honest, she means mocking and humiliating) has very often been a death sentence for men. It has done everything from shame him (costing him honor and status, losing him everything from his family, the chance to have a family, or his social group) to costing him his life (by suicide, dying on a duel, or going off to war).
The White Feather campaign is a great example of "women's laughter." Calling guys incels is basically the same thing, except there's no "out" like going to war.
I wonder if Atwoods quote is the feminist equivalent of a grrm quote about Tolkien?

>> No.75857688

>>75856634
Traditional American culture before the world wars wasn't vulgar, and those people fucked like rabbits though.
Grrm is a retard with no imagination.

>> No.75857709

>>75857602
Can we make this a thing? Get all the normies to fuck off for a month?

>> No.75857778
File: 3.77 MB, 1280x1024, what in damnation.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75857778

>>75857688
>Traditional American culture before the world wars wasn't vulgar

>> No.75857815

>>75840099
Did Incase take this as a challenge?

>> No.75857823

>>75857815
>Incase
Cringe

>> No.75857930

>>75857815
Presumably

>> No.75858033

>>75852346
Of course.

>> No.75858394

i expected more cute hobbits when i entered this thread.

>> No.75858586

>>75853091
So Pixar young faces

>> No.75858614

>>75858394
You can correct things if you see fit anon. I’m honestly just surprised that this thread didn’t devolve into short stack smut, even the pics have been wholesome

>> No.75858644
File: 131 KB, 1876x206, westeros agricultural policy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75858644

>>75851169
Beautiful.

>> No.75858690

>>75856634
and GRRM can only imagine vulgar sex, yes.

>> No.75859106

>>75840099
he does realize there's no sex in Tolkien's books because Hobbit and LotR are about two highly-life-threatening cross-country journeys filled with only heterosexual men?

I guess there could have been like, a couple really snogging it tucked away behind a house in the background of Bilbo's birthday party. But Frodo, our POV character, wouldn't have been there, he was attending to the man of honor and his good-natured but trouble-making wizard guest.

Hmmmm. If I keep trying at this, I think maybe the best opportunity is like, maybe have a bar wench proposition one of the Took brothers since they look like hedonist easy marks for coin, and Aragorn grabbing him by the sleeve and sitting him back down from following her off, cause danger is afoot. That's a decent inclusion because it it helps illustrate that they've moved into seedier areas than the hobbits are used to, and isn't a bad follow up to "Pints" a 'okay, you've had your fun but we're not here to party, slow your roll pipsqueak" kind of moment, a little more foreshadowing that hobbits, especially teenaged ones with poor self control, are easily tempted to simple hedonism and might, say, eat all your trail rations for one morning's breakfast.

Lets see here... you could have something of a scene between Aragorn and Arwen. like the birthday thing above, it doesn't actually serve the plot in any way though. Like the birthday scene, it would just be there to say it's there, though.

Outside of those three instances, I can't even see where you could try and force it unless you started making dwarves or sam and frodo gay, and even then, I don't think they'd have much opportunity to try. It's just not conducive.

Which I guess brings me to the big point here. Sure complete worldbuilding and all that, but everything in a story should serve the story. If it's not important to what's going on, take it out. Good editing says time efficiency is king, and Tolkien rambles about too much irrelevant stuff as is.

>> No.75859176

>>75859106
Its actually pretty funny that the most plot relevant sexual act that takes place during asoiaf (outside bran seeing cersei and jaime right at the start but that could have just as easily been seeing them kissing and nothing would change) happens off screen, that being john and what's her face. Grrm wants to narrate sex but doesn't do the important one, just everyone else's sex life.

>> No.75859267

>>75840391
Could be interesting, but I don't want the scene to be in the main line of books

>>75840967
The last time I went to england I met a girl who sucked my entire large intesting out of my dick

>> No.75859296

>>75841120
I can't give up no nut november for lent because its the wrong time of year

>> No.75859317

>>75840994
he didn't read it like a subtle english gentlement fromt he 1950s

>> No.75859369

>>75845008
he's an old school fat fanfiction writer

>> No.75859396

>>75849951
there's been a cycle of watching the Lotr movies because of c19 and meanwhile nobody's rewatching GOT because it licks its own ass

>> No.75859414

>>75854158
and the living wolves and deer?

>> No.75859425

>>75851249
maybe I want to seduce women?

>> No.75859447

>>75840099
GRRM is a fat neckbeard retard obsessed with writing about swampy wet coochie and fat pink masks and incest and rape.

Yeah, you can imagine hobbits having sex
Why not? Idiot.

>> No.75859470

>>75852592
Its hard to subvert a genre without being self-aware comedy.

Look at one-punch man. It subverts the genre of shonen monster-of-the week anime, but sometimes it is just a straight shonen anime with real emotional moments.

>>75852749
Gandalf came back from the dead because god said so except god was called namulandoring (I haven't btw read lord of the ring)

>> No.75859517

>>75852948
A lot of authors get worse. Series should be 3-5 books at most. Another example of this is harry dresden. THe whole story could be culled down to maybe 6 books. The last couple books are absolute turtle potatos.

>> No.75859554

>>75854839
so you're saying one of the reasons women successfully fought for equality and won the right to vote is because they cooperated better with each other than men typically do?

>> No.75859583

>>75856857
Elves in tolkien probably have sex very rarely because they're few in number and their life goes on forever. Making numerous children wouldn't be practical.

>> No.75859603

>>75856986
maybe they usually eat cock but because of all the war and rape its run out

>> No.75859687

>>75840099
so wheres his proof?

>> No.75859689

>>75859583
I'd need to dig out my copy of HoME for the exact quote, but Tolkien's notes about elven sex lives are basically

>They fuck like rabbits for about a century or two and then usually get bored with it. Feanor was an exception and never lost interest, and one of the reasons that there was tension between him and Nerdanel is that after seven kids, she had had enough.

>> No.75859791

>>75849760
Much more focus on the "sex" bit than the "hobbit" bit?

>> No.75859904

I'd fuck a hobbit.

>> No.75859951

>>75859904
I'd be more concerned if you wouldn't desu

>> No.75859952

>>75851249
Please don't give them ideas

>> No.75859986
File: 1.28 MB, 1584x2176, A1wafOluqjL.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
75859986

>>75859583

I don't recall the exact quote either, but I seem to recall something about how an elf would die of heartbreak before they'd be raped.

Really Tolkien just didn't want to engage in vulgarity and crassness. And It drives me up the wall when people act like a medium must only tell stories in their way and their style and their taste. Thank fucking god not all fantasy is GRRM and thank fucking god not all fantasy is Tolkien. But I don't think Tolkien ever railed against Robert E Howard's vulgarity the way the lurid seem obsessed with trying to desecrate Tolkien's Middle Earth PURELY to desecrate it. That they see something rarefied and pure and thus they intrinsically bristle at such a thing existing.

Pic related. As much as I hate people using warhammer as a reference for something in real life it's so incredibly apropos for this mentality.

>>75847099
That it's first person makes me mad rather than contemptuous.

>> No.75859996

>>75859517
Wheel of Time is especially bad about this. It should have been four books, five max, but instead we got 14 that are mostly filler.

>> No.75860285

>>75840099
>JRR Tolkein
>married
>children
>clearly had sex
>sex never comes up in his books and there really isn't even anywhere in them that it could turn up, aside from possibly aragorn hooking up with eowyn on the night of helms deep or giving arwyn the BDC after the main plot

>GRRM
>fat nerd who only gets laid (if at all) because his books were adapted to a successful HBO series
>every book is full of rape and sex and shitting and talking about genitals and incest
I wonder who is the better adapted person, of the two. Truly

>> No.75860358

>>75859996
>but instead we got 14 that are mostly filler.
But the filler is the good part anon. Like in a pie, the main story (The crust) would be underwhelming without any filler but the filler needs a vessel of some kind or it winds up far too messy

>> No.75860369

>>75859996
If you want a progressively deteriorating series, go read “maximum ride” I fucking lived the first few books as a teenager but goddamn do the sequels go south fast

>> No.75860953

>If you don't describe sex, shitting, eating, puking, farting, spitting, basically EVERY bodily function in your book, that automatically means it doesn't happen
Can a bookfag tell me if in any Martin book someone hiccups?
Hiccups are a part of life too, did he miss those?

>> No.75861193

>>75860285
incels are always obsessed with sex.

>> No.75861271

Aren't Hobbits just suppose to be dopey British countryfolk? They fuck just fine when they're in their equivalents to late adolescence to early adulthood, after which, they become boring as shit and fuck their wives only to have more hands around for harvest season.

>> No.75861275

>>75852245
so george how is the next book coming along? Still refusing to admit to your own mortality?

>> No.75861363

>>75856634
yes, and he posited that as a criticism, saying that the fact that their culture isn't vulgar makes them incomplete.

>> No.75861425

>>75859517
Technically the last two Dresden books were supposed to be a single book, but the publisher made him split it in two.
Admitedly, I'm not sure it would have improved things that much (then again, the absolute shitshow that butchers life has been the last couple years probably explains the drop in quality more than anything.)
Frankly I find myself torn. On the one hand, I like long, ongoing series. On the other, you do have a point. Any story that takes more than 3-5 books does tend to run into problems. Either because to fill those books it gets too completed to run properly, or the author loses their initial spark for the story. Supernatural is a great example even though it's tv. First five seasons were clear and good. Everything after that slowly degraded as they kept trying to milk it, while never coming up with a serious plot.
Only place I've seen this really avoided is mystery novels like the cat who or Amelia Peabody, which never went for over arching plots and were more slice of life mysteries.

>> No.75861436

>>75859554
If you look at what really happened, it was more men simped out.

>> No.75861608

>>75852151
Trannies don't last long enough to age, that's why they always pray to die late.

>> No.75861682

>>75861363
because there's no such thing as real people that aren't vulgar. even if you think you've met one they're fake.

>> No.75861796

>>75843809
Fuck you, Yandex Alice is the only AI overlord I will serve.

>> No.75861808

>>75840391
the man descibed the action of most battles in terms such as
>and the two armies met on the plain
His sex scene would be some deliciously classy flirting followed by a fade to black

>> No.75861816

>>75840426
kek

>> No.75861817

>>75852441
Are you ok? You seem... unusually invested in this. I think you need to unwind a little and think about hobbit sex instead

>> No.75861819

>>75840099
you cannot convince me that samwise "chad" gamgee does not have the best sex in the shire

dude's bi as fuck and is ten outta ten marriage material

>> No.75861843

>>75840426
the whole "A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to." thing just got whole new meaning

>> No.75861852

>>75861817
Cry more, troon.

>> No.75861861

>>75861843
like ever wonder why gandalf just comes over the shire for no reason? shire's got the best weed in middle earth and he's got a thing for short chunky dudes

also like. second breakfast and double dinner? sign me up

>> No.75861864

>>75861796
>Alice
>not Aлиca
you are not worthy of her loving oppression

>> No.75861879

>>75861843
This is the first time this joke has ever been made, yes.

>> No.75861884

>>75859554
I think the last straw was suffragettes deciding "Alrighty then, we worked like men during the war, we want to vote like men, so I think it's time to prove we can go balls to the wall like men" and started chaining themselves to shit, going on prison hunger strikes to get the papers on their side, and jumping in front of horse races to get trampled in front of the king.
Anyway this has fuckall to do with hobbits, their idyllic pastoral existence is free from the harsh stratification present in urbanized human society and filled with four-foot-tall big booty bitches who like plants

>> No.75861902

>>75859554
>they cooperated better with each other than men typically do?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA have you ever SEEN how quickly wom exclusive companies fall apart?

>> No.75861968

>>75861861
Gandalf really hit the nail on the head with his whole "keep an eye on the world" job. Blue wizards went off to be Arabian Nights sorcerers or some shit and Saruman had to deal with the most power and was under enough strain to fall to Sauron. Radagast got a job he liked but had to go live in a Ted Shed far away from anything really useful and got turned into a crazy forest wizard in the movies. Gandalf makes illegal fireworks, talks to moths, and hangs out in the Land of Chilling where there's good food, drink, weed and Bilbo Bussy, but keeps an ear to the ground so he can go unfuck problems someone else started with the help of his surprisingly tenacious manlets. His movie portrayal stays faithful AND hits on Galadriel, then takes the chance to die in battle when he realizes that this might make Celeborn not help his friends. What a chad

>> No.75862386

>>75852948
>>75859517
>>75859996

This happens whenever an author gets too big for their britches and stops listening to their editor.

>> No.75862625

>>75845356
her womanhood became the world

>> No.75862635

>>75860285
>>GRRM
>>fat nerd who only gets laid (if at all) because his books were adapted to a successful HBO series
>>every book is full of rape and sex and shitting and talking about genitals and incest
He also got cucked twice for one of his friends.

>> No.75862644

>>75847189
tax the Great Masters to pay reparations to the freedmen
and she wonders why her city fucking hated her

>> No.75862664

>>75862644
How does she tax them? Is their income taken? Is part of their estate appropriated?

>> No.75862682

>>75862644
Also I wasn't shitposting, I'm just genuinely curious if he actually bothered with the details.

>> No.75862720

>>75856059
Martin's worldbuilding is OK. Not great but OK.
His strengths are in character building, and in nihilistic realism (what some might call edginess)

>> No.75862736

>>75856986
normally they store up food but this time they just happened to have really bad timing on both an incredibly destructive succession war AND potential zombie invasion with this winter

>> No.75863115

>>75861808
Interestingly that's how Sapkowski does it.

>> No.75863271

>>75845293
I'd give you multiple examples, but I know your goosestep bootlicking type, and you'd call them all good men.

>> No.75863298

>>75861884
>their idyllic pastoral existence is free from the harsh stratification present in urbanized human society and filled with four-foot-tall big booty bitches who like plants
what a life

>> No.75863357

>>75862386
ah yes, the Lucas problem.

>> No.75863368

>>75859106
>Outside of those three instances, I can't even see where you could try and force it
There's also when Eowyn and Faramir are in the houses of healing.

>> No.75863507
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