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[ERROR] No.72221033 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

There are MULTIPLE coast to coast "rivers" in this map from an UFFICIALLY PUBLISHED D&D sourcebook. I challenge you to give me a reasonable excuse for this

>> No.72221078

>A thing exists in DnD
>It's shit
>OP acts like this is a surprise to anyone

>> No.72221082

It's fantasy bullshit, so maybe a fucking wizard did it

>> No.72221084

I don't know, but this is a valid reason to gatekeep the lowest common consoomers who eat this schlock up. Keep up the fight, brother!

>> No.72221109


They're not rivers, they're straits.

>> No.72221265

>fantasy setting
Nice reach, sperg

>> No.72221280


Multiple times?

>> No.72221290


If your fantasy setting isn't gonna make sense, have it not make sense in a huge and spectacular way.

This is giving me original 7th Sea Map flashbacks.

>> No.72222781

Kingdoms of Kalamar is the only carefully designed d&d setting
Outside d&d you have Harn.

and stop playing the shit of a game that is d&d. They still don't have any setting books (besides that short sword coast guide) yet they published one rick morty book and one twitch/streaming crowds kithensink. Realize you are not the target demographic anymore, move on to other systems.

>> No.72222825

>and here, for no reason, water goes up
Your brain is so smooth they use it as a measurement tool for admission on /pol/

>> No.72222855

the water is sentient

>> No.72222867

Explanation: Autistic faggots who don't even pay for their books are the only people care about this shit.

>> No.72222884

>ITT Antarctica without ice

>> No.72222922

He got bored.

>> No.72222978

The answer is obvious: Exandria is flat.

>> No.72222990

This is just pure laziness (or ignorance) on the part of the designers.

>> No.72223042

Shit exist:

>> No.72223053


I dunno the history of the setting. They might be artificially made (either by people or by events)?

>> No.72223062

>and here, for no reason, water goes up
We call those 'tides'.

>> No.72223077


>> No.72223095

Saying that just because it's fantasy means you can draw whatever retarded shit on a map and nobody is allowed to criticize it does nothing but encourage laziness. If you want water to flow up that's fine,, but explain why it does that in setting, don't just make squiggles wherever.

>> No.72223130

Its not that you're criticizing a mass produced setting for normies, it's that you're posting it here clearly expecting others to agree with you when every normal-passing person doesn't fucking care about WotC's normie bait 9000 does.
Priorities, son. Get some.

>> No.72223178

Why is that a problem?

>> No.72223195

>Priorities, son. Get some.
First of all, fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Secondly, this is /tg/. Do you really think anyone with better shit to do would be browsing here?
> you're posting it here clearly expecting others to agree with you
I'm not OP, so I can't claim to know his reasons for posting, but it seems to me that he's talking to fans of Critical Role and WOTC asking them to justify and defend what is seemingly a poorly designed map. It's fair enough to do, seeing as both types of people are clearly at least semi-frequent users of this board.

>> No.72223198

I appreciate this thread because it reminds me I'll never be this autistic.

>> No.72223212

Brainlet here, why is that not possible in theory?

>> No.72223228

>I challenge you to give me a reasonable excuse for this
Natural canal. Now let this trash thread slide.

>> No.72223318

>plate carrée projection
>no distance indicator
>longitudes and latitudes are not labelled
Fucking pleb tier map

>> No.72223340

There is a permanent Gate to the Elemental Plane of Water in the middle of the continent. While appearing to be one river, it is in fact simply two rivers pouring forth from one central source.

>> No.72223341

Water flows downhill

>> No.72223344

>on rivers
If your tides can pull water hundreds of meters up then your setting has more problems than that

>> No.72223365

there is a distance indicator. it's just very small and has no units, though the natural assumption of miles means it's smaller than australia by a fair margin. if it's in Kilometers though then its TINY

>> No.72223382

It's so tiny I completely missed it. What kind of miles though?

>> No.72223384


My man!

>> No.72223386


>sperging this hard on maps

This is why /tg/ sucks anymore. Use your autism constructively or fuck off to a different board.

>> No.72223407

>those place names

Is this a parody setting?

>> No.72223502

What OP is talking about is not a D&D only thing, retards.

>> No.72223516

Never reply to those trolls. They do it just for attention.

>> No.72223710

>Being SO fucking desperate to defend DnD that you unironically try to claim a WILDEMOUNT map isn't from DnD.

>> No.72223742

>learn to read dumbfuck, he's saying it's not *only* a DnD Thing, as in, that DnD isn't the only one that does this, not that Wildemount isn't DnD, as much as we all wish it was still just gay homebrew.

>> No.72223806

>Reading is too hard hard for D&D haters

>> No.72223961

>clever, flavorful, thematic answer appropriate for setting and cosmology
>gets completely ignored
sasuga autismos

>> No.72224013

There are positive effects to making your setting have superficial realism (excepting the fantastical parts). It gives it more weight. Even if you're not consciously aware that rivers don't go from ocean to ocean and that they don't usually split, you ARE used to staring at real-world maps and your brain DOES find it subtly weirder when the map doesn't look quite right.
If you have a gonzo setting with actual river-wizards then by all means reinforce the gonzo-ness by having a weird map. You want them to feel that subtle not-quite-rightness in that case. But otherwise, it is better to make things seem more concrete. That way the fantastic bits (dragons, demon armies) seem more fantastic IMO.

But, in the end, it doesn't matter that much.
>Priorities, son
>speaking like a boomer

>> No.72224092

Because I am a literal boomer. I've been playing D&D since 1978.

>> No.72224171

In that case you have my condolences.

>> No.72224224


>> No.72224461

Underrated. Then again spergs will be spergs.

>> No.72224597


>> No.72225993

You picked a really weird hill to die on. Of all the fucked up shit in 5E, THIS is what you chimp out on!?

>> No.72226043

I'm adding one to my setting just to hurt you.

>> No.72228659

Dream on, torpid faggot

>> No.72228783

Like /tg/ is filled by intellectuals

>> No.72228820

Because there isn’t a elemental portal. It’s cope for this shit setting

>> No.72228830

No one is forcing you to play, read or buy this OP.

>> No.72228873

Critical Role sheep be like: “Just turn off your brain, bro!”

>> No.72228970

OP here. I don't watch CR, but the setting is actually alright. I'm running one of the pre written adventures right now and was studying the map more for more detail when I notice this garbage, and it made me really mad, but it's not a deal breaker, I can either think of some bullshit to explain it or just change the map.

>> No.72229020

They could have literally just aped any map upvoted beyond 10 votes on that one fantasy map subreddit and got something better than this shit lol

>> No.72229022

I hate critical role, but people who complain about fantasy geography are nitpicking autists who also do shit like judge fights in fantasy movies like their opinion means anything. I'm not talking critiques like "why is the camera on their faces, I want to see them fight" or "I can't see shit through all this cgi blood" I'm talking those fuckers who go "well he should have done a mordhau fallowed by half-gripping through the armor slits" kind of critique. Fucking retards trying to pretend they're fantasy badasses.

>> No.72229153

>but people who complain about fantasy geography are nitpicking autists who also do shit like judge fights in fantasy movies like their opinion means anything
You're the reason all movie fights are now marvel-style run-at-them-in-a-V-formation clusterfucks.

>> No.72229173

Why should I get this book? What does Wildemount do differently or better than other settings? I don’t each Critical Roll.

I’m genuinely curious and a prospective customer, but I don’t buy whatever WotC shits out and this looks like a cynical cash grab what with the lazy art on the cover.

>> No.72229229

It's good, but just get a pdf. It's on the trove and on 5e tools

>> No.72229254

Either you're trolling or ignorant, I'll take the bait.
Rivers always flow downhill because gravity. The ocean or a landbound sump lake is typically the end point - almost always the ocean. The ocean is at one generally consistent elevation. Unless there's a common midpoint for each of these rivers, like a glacier which has outputs in both directions, these rivers are impossible. The sea never flows back up to land and then out to the sea again.

>> No.72229300

What a cuck OP

>> No.72229313

Just wanted to drop in and say that your post reeks of autism OP. No on cares. Also, OP is a faggot.

>> No.72229342

>either youre an marvel retard
>or a swordfighting genius (read:autist) like me
There's a middle ground between the two, fuckface. I prefer my fighting on the fantastical ala wuxia, where all the "unnecessary movement" is just showing off the dexterity, creativity and artistry of the performers, not just marvel cgi explosions. I've seen stuff like The Duelists, and though I appreciate the tense lethality, it requires a certain mindset most realismfags don't have, where they just insist that one move they learned from skellagrim is an uncounterable insta-death attack.

>> No.72229565

You cared enough to reply, homo.

>> No.72230342

Hey. Imbecile. Reread the OP. You colossal faggot.

>> No.72233543

DnD is just an elitist circlejerk

>> No.72233997

It has an in-depth gazetteer on every named location to give details for any direction of travel, which makes it decent to mine for homebrew ideas.

>> No.72234191


>> No.72234693

>no setting books besides sword coast

eberron has a full book, as do ravnica and wildemount. not that i'm a d&d defender but this is just factually wrong.

>> No.72234791

are the rivers formed by flows from those nearby mountains which appear to be proximal to each of those rivers you highlighted?

>> No.72235198

I've not watched even a whole minute of Critical Role. I simply understand that normalfags don't fucking care at all and its a waste of everyone's time for anyone else to care about what normalfag focused content does.

>> No.72235221

Faux Intellectuals.

>> No.72235325

this unironically

>> No.72235348

cope harder consoomer, your setting is shit

>> No.72235369

yes, stop questioning products and CONSOOOOM

>> No.72235394

>i prefer wuxia

Asians have no culture worth emulating, try again

>> No.72236827

Would you please actually read the posts you're responding to? Save your time, money, and criticism for content that you actually care about. Bitching about stuff not targeted to you is a waste. Nobody making the content will ever listening to you

>> No.72236885

>but not in any other situation haha I'm too stupid for that

Really tired of this arbitrary shit you retards are always on

>> No.72236902

I see what you did there

>> No.72237061

different anon, but couldnt the areas that go "up" be going down in reality? cause its a 2d map, not a 3d one, so couldnt the water be going downhill regardless?

maybe im another brainlet but i dont see anything wrong with the map

>> No.72237151

>water flows two ways from one source
Boom, answered, next?

>> No.72237536

every time.

>> No.72237623

Assuming the altitude goes up towards the center of the landmass, and ther's no reason to assume it wouldn't, the water would have to defy gravity to flow inward from one end to the other.
You could also read it like>>72237151
but that would mean a single inland source somehow flows in two opposite directions simultaneously, and that doesn't happen much irl either. Even if you say that's it, there's no indication on the map of where that source is and where the flow changes from one side to the other, and it really feels like whoever made the map either didn't think about it or doesn't give a shit

>> No.72237644

why do canals have different levels if you dont mind me asking

>> No.72237693

not >>72223344 but
because they are usually at sea level, and the water from the sea tides comes in

>> No.72238102


>> No.72238263

Do you seriously have the 'tism?
Quite frankly nobody but a straight up autist would even notice or care.
Oh wait, forgot where I am

>> No.72238294

Do you think the people this book is for give a single shit about geography? Do you think geographic accuracy affects the decision of any potential customer?
You're an absolute retard if you think they would or should go to the trouble.
Before anyone accuses me of anything, I'm not defending CR shit. Any product being more accurate in any way is a good thing from an artistic and practical standpoint for making your world more believable, but if you're criticizing it as a product, it absolutely nails the target demographic, at least in this sense.

>> No.72238356

I think that was meant to be unironic. If so, based.

Also based

>> No.72238445

I actually like Matt Mercer, but he's honestly really bad at naming stuff.

>> No.72239117

What, you never commited a mistake several times?

>> No.72239217

Of all the things to sperg out over. I’d understand your rage if it was over something meaningful.

>> No.72239335

>Hard hard

>> No.72239376

It was so hard the word hard popped up again just to show how hard it was.

>> No.72239460

Yes, -that- is what we are saying. Smoothbrained fuckwad.

>> No.72239477

He used the internet excalibur, dead thread everyone. Anyone that disagrees with him is a consooomer.

>> No.72239528

High fantasy fags are indeed the worst

>> No.72239666

This, desu.

>> No.72239670

>Kingdoms of Kalamar is the only carefully designed d&d setting
I would tend to agree with this anon.

>> No.72239699

>I like it in the butt

>> No.72239710

>What does Wildemount do differently or better than other settings?

not much.

>> No.72239771

>There is a permanent Gate to the Elemental Plane of Water in the middle of the continent.

So what? It would still have to be located on the very exact portion of the continent that is the exact divide between two watersheds.

>> No.72239824


>> No.72239930


It's bad worldbuilding.

>> No.72240081

What's bad about it?

>> No.72240175

Rivers don't work. Setting ruined. This the Entwash all over again.

>> No.72240459

that's actually true though

>> No.72240599

Different anon here. I don't really give a shit about this whole thing, but the problem with the portal theory is that it's unsustainable. Eventually erosion would lead to the flow cutting into the ground and favoring one direction over the other, so the only way for the rivers to have been this way more than ten years or so were either of the portal itself moved to account for this, or a structure that wouldn't quickly erode were the source, or some bullshit specific geology under the portal.

Out of setting, the worldbuilder probably just didn't think about it. But that's mostly fine. Not a sin or anything.

>> No.72240623

The Emerald Gulch is clearly a Gulf too, not a Gulch. What a hack!

>> No.72240643

maybe in backwards faggotland

>> No.72240704

I remember when /tg/ prided itself on trying to learn how actual things worked, and how to implement it into your game. Anything from historical cultures/political structures to geography.
I don't know where all these newfags are coming from, but they seem to just want le EPIICCC scale high fantasy anime-tier shit, where they can play their kitsune loli vampire (that's secretly 400yo). Why do these newfags want this type of low-effort shit.

>> No.72240736

Because if they care (cringe!) they'll called autistic which is the worst insult any tourist has ever encountered.

>> No.72240739

There's only so many potato debates you can get into before you get tired of trying to be more realistic than Tolkien ever bothered.

>> No.72240773

Have you tried not cutting a continent in half with a river? Also did you know that the most kiddie of all kiddie fantasy books "Eragon" had a river flowing like this and actually treated it like a special occurrence instead of doing the faggy hand wavey shit? If your worldbuilding is worse than that of a fucking star wars fantasy rip off, you might have issues.

>> No.72240900

>all of those have beginning points that lead outward for all those rivers
>they're on the map, too
>you covered them with your red line


>> No.72240909

Still doesn't explain why it cuts the continent in two.

>> No.72240910

Got better ones? They're nowhere near "bad".

>> No.72240923

> or a structure that wouldn't quickly erode were the source, or some bullshit specific geology under the portal
Considering someone or something (of vast power) would have had to have made the Gate to begin with, I don't see why they would be unable to form it on some manner of, oh, let's say a large mithral bowl for their artificial lake.
I'm just coming up with a solution for OP at any rate.

>> No.72240924

So you're just lazy with your worldbuilding. Got it.

>> No.72240928

Because the map artist assumes you understand that under the river is just more continent. The river doesn't slice a continent in two.

>> No.72240939

What the fuck are you even on about? Did you think that i was arguing that it literally cut the continent in two or what? Did you forget to take your autismo pills?

>> No.72240965

The river flows out from a point very high up and very wide. This river is sometimes shallow, sometimes deep. Whether or not they "cut the continent in two" is meaningless, they're not just an arbitrary line drawn across a continent they all have sources.

>> No.72240972

Which should tell you how bad it is. Again, unless it's acknowledged as an actually anomaly, it's plain lazy worldbuilding.

>> No.72241003

Yes, but they wouldn't flow in both directions, as anons have pointed out numerous times. And where on the map do you see these "several sources", and the landmass that makes them separate rivers? Because it sure as hell sounds like desperate fanboyism to me

>> No.72241008

I don't see how it's bad at all. Some ancient asshole megawizard with no sense of right and wrong wanted a freshwater lake on top of his mountain, and now we have to deal with two rivers going all across the continent.

>> No.72241010

I bet you name everything some variation of Kingsreach, Nounverb or N'ounverb (for elf shit)

>> No.72241013

Because they were engineered to do so.

>> No.72241029

But is that explained in the lore? No? Alright then it's just a DM that failed high-school level geography classes, and was too lazy to read up on how that stuff actually works.

As I said, if it's acknowledged as an anomaly (fx. a wizard did it) I have no problems with it. But that wizard sure as hell loved to make a ton of nonsense rivers.

>> No.72241074

>But is that explained in the lore? No?
Reread OP, he wanted an excuse. That's what was given.

>> No.72241610

Lmao look at this faggot thinking a few nobody posters are all of tg

>> No.72241722

That's just a rhetorical expression, he's looking for an excuse to bash this worldbuilding.

>> No.72242469

He literally said "challenge" but fuck whatever I guess I'm autistic.

>> No.72243300

In my setting mountains grow in the middle of tectonic plates. The reason for that is it's cool that the mountains are there. The very space begged for mountaineity, and I don't let geography punk me.

>> No.72243606

Thanks for answering that anon, I'm genuinely just a retard

>> No.72244038

So why not list all of these non-DnD examples from well established settings?

>> No.72244067

>muh plate tectonics worldbuildlet descovers that all his amateur geography knowledge doesn't actually serve his setting and amounts to nothing but mental masturbation
>rather than being liberated by this fact, free to go into as much detail he wants about the dry geological history of his work (or abandon it entirely if he doesn't like it), he chooses to cry about it
/tg/s worldbuilding culture is full of artless autists that don't understand storytelling. Much the same as their smut community, before that imploded.

>> No.72244614

"I challenge you to [x]" basically means "I am confident you cannot do [x]".

>> No.72244635

it serves the setting, read >>72224013

>> No.72244687

There's been an influx of these people over the last few years. But sure, let this board become /v 2.0.

>> No.72244746

Don't try to argue with him. He probably don't want actual depth and thought ruining his super epic high fantasy setting where everyone can do everything as long as it's supporting his speshul donut steel plot. I mean who care about consistency, verisimilitude and other stuff that makes a world feel alive and breathing?

>> No.72244761

>it's another 'rivers can't go coast to coast' thread

>> No.72244795

That's because they've been joined up by canals. read the book.

>> No.72244798

What possesses you to construct these hyperbolic strawmen and not even reply to the people you disagree with
t. the guy you're replying and "agreeing" with

>> No.72246425

This shit is flatter than my ex.

>> No.72246509

Not a river.

>> No.72247089


>> No.72247162

chuubo's marvelous wish-granting machine

>> No.72249897

Panama canal exists. Checkmate, Grognards!

>> No.72249916

Anybody who cares is a retard for playing D&D in the first place, and a double retard for playing le ebin natty 20 Critical Role.

>> No.72249939

Book of Pearls.

>> No.72250444

There are ways you could do this, as long as it's just one river. You could say it's like a cursed river and that when you try to go up or down the river, you are in a parallel world or something. Or you could say that it was a canal created by an ancient powerful race that has since gone extinct. You could come up with all kinds of mythological reasons for it, its' fantasy.

>> No.72250962

>they're straits.
They're not remotely strait, you idiot. They curve all over the place.

>> No.72251062


Isa Lake, for instance, flows into both the Pacific and the Gulf of Mexico

>> No.72251118

According to some random guy on the internet:
>The panama canal needs locks because it goes over a mountain. The locks lift the ships up to the level of a man-made lake, and then let them down again to the ocean on the other side.

>You can have a canal that is all at sea level. The Suez canal in egypt is just such a canal. Because the land was flat and level, they could cut the canal through at sea level. Panama is too mountainous, so a sea level canal wasn't feasible.

>> No.72251140

See >>72251062

>> No.72253846

>It would still have to be located on the very exact portion of the continent that is the exact divide between two watersheds.
That's exactly why it was placed there.

>> No.72253880

>Eventually erosion would lead
You think the Emporer of the Plane of Earth is going to allow surrender to the water portal like that? Foolish mortal.

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