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56366789 No.56366789 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Meanwhile on Late-Night Demon Hunter /tg/
Alright Hunters, so here's the rundown: Reality got fucked sideways, Magic is fucking everywhere now, Demon Realm bullshit has stirred up all across the globe, giant fish-things are rising from the sea, the Necronomicon has disappeared, there are floating islands as far as the eye can see, the stars have gone fucky, Oliver Cromwell is besieging England (Again. For like, the TENTH TIME), and there are now cultists crawling out of the woodwork en masse. Cthulhu is also awake and is doing shit around where the Nips are at.

Oh, and there's a Greater Demon coming to murderfuck us all into oblivion too. So all in all, lots of Fun for the whole family!

>> No.56367174
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>> No.56367323
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>> No.56367448
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You'll never find her, you Fiend! She is safe from your vile grasp! Now, En Garde!

>> No.56367558


>> No.56367650

Stop this shitposting please.

>> No.56367675
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Nay, you shant! By the power of the Light, we march to stand against you, you restless shade!

>> No.56367816


>> No.56367873
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Shitposting cannot be stopped, nor can it be ocntained. It is a universal constant, infinite and eternal in its perfect unity and wholeness. To become one with the Shitpost, is to know it is ntimately In a manner such that now words may describe it, for it lies transcendent beyond all things, yet still remains as one with them.

>> No.56367894

All is calm.

All is bright.

>> No.56367939 [SPOILER] 
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>> No.56368109
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>> No.56368514
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>> No.56368975
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>> No.56369068

Guys, the dragon hunters in my area are being pricks. Reports of a demon dragon have surfaced and we can't decide which group should go after it. I suggested that we just both hunt it together, but dragon hunters are arrogant dickheads who won't let anyone else have 'their' glory. On top of that, we can't even decide what the demon dragon is. Is it a demon taking a dragon's form? Is it a dragon which is possessed by a demon? While the dragon hunters are forcing this argument, the damn thing is toasting villages left and right. What can I do about this shit?

>> No.56369598
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>What can I do about this shit?
You are perfectly within your sworn duty as a Hunter and protector of people to chain the arrogant pricks to a tree, and use them as bait for the thing. They shall not be missed whatsoever. Anyone who has *ever* had any experience with Dragon Hunters whatsoever knows them to be selfish, conceited, narcissistic asswipes of the highest order.

>> No.56370326

Russias fine. Chilling with Perun.

Well it is if you call fighting of Elder Undead and Undead with guns. Also how does one summon Warriors granted an honorable death to assist you respective patrin.

>> No.56370408

Tell them to man the fuck up and get some demon hunters and figure shit out as you go.

Go aquire Dragon Slayer Class weapons, if your a gun expert go get a Sacred tipped round.
Recite the blessing of the hunters and boom.

Next: Don't be an idiot and shoot the demon. Unless its a core based demon, then you gonna have to pin it down and peform a sacred Right of banishment.

Also the color determines the layer of hell and status in the hierarchy. Plan accordingly.

Now if that doesn't work. Summon a Valkyrie Battlion, Can't do that just blast with magic. Impartically Holy incantation type music.

>> No.56370510

Get to >>>/qst/ with the rest of the riff raff.

>> No.56372087

>there are floating islands as far as the eye can see
hey man, each of them have a sort of physical law fuckery stone. if you dig it out of the island and put it in a lead-lined box it stops working and the island falls. but if you then chain that rock onto a big flatbed you have a handy skiff for getting altitude either as a handy gunner tower or as a way to get to other islands, I got one with an old air-boat fan.

1.) figure out where the dragon IS
2.) figure out its specific shtick
3.) prep-time
4.) tell the dragonrapers that its someplace else
5.) deal with the demon lizard.
6.) as fully as possible destroy any trophy parts of the creature you can't keep for yourself because fuck those guys, they WILL try and take credit if they can lay hands on bones teeth or skin.

>> No.56372628

Guys, can we take an aside from demon hunting for a bit? I need some relationship advice.

I met this cute Japanese qt3.14159 (she's got this mole under one eye... I wonder why japs call 'em "beauty marks", but I digress). 12/10. We're hitting it off great. Can't post pictures because she doesn't want her photos taken due to her having a previous experience with a stalker. I recently encountered said stalkers. Yes, stalkers. She had two. With knives. They came on the same day. One of them had acid. Being both a demon hunter and ultra-beta-white-knugget-savior-of-babes that I am (hurhurhur) I kicked their asses and put them in the hospital (after getting my ass chewed out). The two dudes were screaming that she was perfect and she was theirs and were going at each others throats at the start of the fight before coming together and deciding to cut her in thirds her so everyone can her (thankfully, I kick-fisted them the fuck off).

Okay, okay. Enough backstory. She asked me if I wanted to go to a love hotel with her and here lies the problem: 1) I don't know shit about love hotels. 2) I am a fucking V.

I'm assuming she wants to spend time in private having a conversation (that's what I heard about Japanese and why they visit love hotels) because she didn't ask me about condoms. Then again, what the fuck do I know about women? I am almost a wizard here.


>> No.56372915
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>hey man, each of them have a sort of physical law fuckery stone. if you dig it out of the island and put it in a lead-lined box it stops working and the island falls. but if you then chain that rock onto a big flatbed you have a handy skiff for getting altitude either as a handy gunner tower or as a way to get to other islands, I got one with an old air-boat fan.

Sounds intriguing. Will definitely come in handy when someone needs their own personal floating island for whatever reason.

>> No.56372963


D'ya wanna spend time with her? Then spend time with her. If she wants to spend time with you in a love hotel, whatever that is, then whats the problem?

Virginities are overrated, imo, but they ARE one of those things you only lose by doing the thing you fear.

So go do.

>> No.56373028

Uhh... I get kinda giddy whenever we hold hands and uh... this may sound weird but... I have an urge to cut her up. Lewd, I know. Never felt that way before. Again, don't know if this is normal because this is my first relationship and I'm not even on home turf... So I don't know if this is normal in Japan.

>> No.56373100
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>Uhh... I get kinda giddy whenever we hold hands and uh... this may sound weird but... I have an urge to cut her up
..........We believe that you may have issues. As in, a LOT of issues.

>> No.56373108

Ah son here has a Tomie on his hands. You're probably too far gone already, but what you need to do is kill her and dissolve the body in lime. Make sure not to leave any pieces, getting cut up is how Tomies multiply and grow.

Does anyone know a castrati hunter in the area who could help him out? Preferably one with a flamethrower.

>> No.56373111

Isaiah here.
We're doing okay, Toby's working on unfucking reality to the best of his abilities. Hate to admit it, but having eldritch buddies does have it's benefits.
Doubly so since i think we may have caused the whole reality fucking in the first place, trying to figure out where my daughter's gone off to.
I did see some fish-faces on the outskirts.
They keep going back and forth between the forest edge and the town border.
I can't say for sure, but they look a bit scared to come in.
But, all in all, New Hunterswake is doing just peachy.
I've heard talk of those Bluerun brothers building some sort of defence grid on the town ramparts.
I don't know what it's worth in the long run, but there's been regular earthquakes and flashes of blindingly bright light shining in.
Oh, and some nutjob started building a log ladder all the way up to some floating island above us.

Tex, if you're still here, could you go to Louisiana to check up on my daughter? I mean, she can stop time, but i'm still a little worried.
She's wearing a full-platinum suit with heart accents last i saw her.

>> No.56373122

Damnit, why do you persona types need to get so messy. Every time blowing up some tiny allegorical threat into a huge world ending one. It makes no sense how this keeps happening.

>> No.56373151

In our defence, we didn't know any reality resets were going on - we were just looking into the otherworldly to find out where time has stopped recently.
New Hunterswake is in the middle of a forest of mists and near New Innsmouth, reality doesn't work right here anyway.

...but what's a Persona? I've heard talk of some japanese demon hunters using them as weapons, but i don't know the specifics.

>> No.56373153
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Yeah. Don't know what she wants, for starters... And if we're going to get lewd... I don't even know where to stick it in.

Just remembered that I got a pic of her on my cell taken in secret. Ain't she cute? Yeah, don't mind the goofy picture. It looks like she has her hand cut off, but if you look close enough behind her hair you can see her fingers grabbing her shoulder.

>> No.56373180
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Ah, that explains everything then. You need to kill her. Do It Now. Please, for all our sakes.

>> No.56373221
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Russell Group detachment here. Cromwell is now missing pretty much all his artillery and most of his Dragoons, and we've laid some mines for him to find later. We got a bit shot up in the process, though, pulling back for more ammo. Whoever else is fighting him, can you please tell us where the hell you are so we can get a bit more indiscriminate about blowing things up? Collateral damage is kind of a concern here.

Will take us about five hours to make up another batch of applied chemistry at least, so you're on your own for now.

>> No.56373244

Well. Okay... Kinda weird considering it's our first night together... :/

Just a moment. Gotta prep some take-out bags... Cutting wire... Plastic mat... Guess I can do this naked so I don't need the hazard suit... weighted bukkits... Map of safe dumping sites... Shovel and trowel...

Alright. See you guys tomorrow.

>> No.56373336 [SPOILER] 
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>Well. Okay... Kinda weird considering it's our first night together... :/
Trust us. The moment you start cutting and burning, you'll see the terrible truth of what you nearly made love to.

>> No.56373354

Argh, forget the knife, let's get some gasoline and burn whole damn place down.

>> No.56373366

I've got a group of 26 men down in Kent right now working on these bloody cultists and keeping the media away from the real weird shit. We've already had a few near-misses with some mass human sacrifices and daemonic artefacts. give us a shout if anything big starts heading this way and good luck with the bombs lads.

I can spare a few men if anyone needs reinforcements but getting to anyone more than an hour away is probably out of the question, I'd rather not have these guys moving through unprotected land for too long.

>> No.56373369
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Whoa, didn't know she did a bondage shoot...

Alright, whatever you say. The plan is to cut and scatter her remains so nobody will find them.

And... I ain't got time. Date's in 20. Portlander out.

Here's another photo of her... Kinda boring though.

>> No.56373406


>> No.56373413 [SPOILER] 
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>Alright, whatever you say. The plan is to cut and scatter her remains so nobody will find them.
No. Do NOT do this. That is how her ilk breeds. Just try to find a quick and easy means of burning her mass away, whilst leaving as little material as possible.

>> No.56373567

What the fuck are you guys talking about?

>> No.56373577
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>Not knowing about the things stalking in the night.
Normies get out.

>> No.56373579

Are you new here?
We have rp threads like this all the time, get involved and stop shitting up the thread.

>> No.56373586
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>> No.56373823
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>> No.56374208

Portlander back. Gonna give an update...

Well, it worked out. Got her cut up and put in the various containers.

Got spooked by a pack of local dogs... But they were friendly, so I fed them some.

Loading up to dump some of this off a bridge then I'm going into the countryside.

Fuck. I didn't get to make love to my girlfriend. I shouldn't have followed the advice of you faggots.

Portlander out. Busy night.

>> No.56374375 [SPOILER] 
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>Got spooked by a pack of local dogs... But they were friendly, so I fed them some.
........Please tell us that you didn't feed them her flesh. Please.

>> No.56375045

Hey guys did we ever try you know burying Cromwell properly as a means to pacify him? Just throwing ideas out as the fight him plan seems not to be working

>> No.56375114
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We usually don't get the chance to. Dude's so fucking resilient that the usual course of f action is to reduce him to giblets and hope that he's dispersed enough that he won't return for a decade or so.

>> No.56375208

Yeah but that's just his murder ghost body. His real body got posthumously decapitated and quartered. Maybe he'd be less pissed if we reunited and buried his corpse
Then we could use him to hunt devils with us

>> No.56375218

Not him, but right now there's this girl in the Hunter's Dream inn.
Black hair, mostly just rags, inexplicable mutt-dog ears.
Keeps muttering about having lost connection with her sisters.
Think there's a relation?

Have you tried blending him?

>> No.56375617
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Do we even know where is real body is in the present day? Because I wouldn't be surprised if someone found it and has just been juggling it around the world.

>Black hair, mostly just rags, inexplicable mutt-dog ears.
>Keeps muttering about having lost connection with her sisters.
That wouldn't be spoiler related would it? Because if it is, well let's just say that you won't have a good time.

>> No.56375716

That's what i'm trying to figure out. Either way, she seems lost, and, well, no one, even the resident womanizer, has had any sort of reaction to her beyond the barkeep letting her stay in the inn in exchange for serving as a barmaid.

>> No.56375736

no idea but it would be worth it

>> No.56375958

Good news the Russian Threat has been dealt with. Also quickest way to burn away roughly overly a thousand years of history and multiple World wars worth of bodies, (we have tried fire and even more fire.)

>> No.56376602 [SPOILER] 
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>> No.56376761

Somebody run a IP trace on this dumbass
Chances are he's cutting her up because she provoked him.
We need a dragon or ifrit to light this bitch up.

>> No.56376873

The Idiots located in a dead zone in Tokyo. Fucker is probably dealing with the Yokai that have manifested around when the last thread went up.

>> No.56377034
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<Thanato-Pathogenic Invasion in Progress
> Everyone in that area take out your flame-imbued weapons and flame throwers.
> Put on something to counter her charms. If you have no counter-charms, at least put on a sunglasses and earphone.
> contain her ashes in a mix of tar, cement, or anything that can slow her growth.
> send those ashes to hell via teleport
Don't send them to space, that's how we got that googly eyed space rapist.
I hope you're happy because
you unleashed the Beauty Plague of 1987 all over again.
Where's my IP trace.

>> No.56377200

WELP. Time to call the plague O'mancers and Null Magicians.
What the hell is that IP. My Mob Comm Reading bricked itself getting that IP and how the hell are you located on IS and inside fallen Carcass of Beauty Plagues host.

>> No.56377325


>>56375218 here.
We're probably safe. As i mentioned earlier, New Hunterswake works a bit weird where reality is concerned.
Toby claims it's because of layered realities compressing as a result of eldritch energies causing pressure outside of the known reality, but i'm no expert.
Anyway, i've read up on this Tomie figure, and done some footwork.
It seems the local reality abnormalities link dog-ear Tomie with a reality where she's the inverse of herself, cancelling the two out and leaving her a bit out of it as long as she stays here.
I can also confirm no one, despite her efforts, has been infected.
Not only does the local hermit doctor confirm no contamination has occurred, but i've heard her lament how her saliva has no effect.
Apparently she's been spitting in drinks the whole time she worked as a barmaid.
She's getting more and more unfocused and out of it, so we're guessing eventually anti-Tomie takes over and converts into the first person to touch her...which, if Anti-Tomie is properly anti, will probably end up being someone with massive amounts of booze in his systems.

>> No.56377460

Lets hope the fabric laws don't kick in, fusing them together.

>> No.56377722
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>Thanato-Pathogenic Invasion in Progress
We need to burn everything. *Everything*. Down to fucking bedrock if need be. It's the only way to be sure.

>> No.56378729
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>> No.56379822

Portlander reporting in. Fuck me and fuck driving at night.

Got to this town near the city. Went to the a local butchery to dispose of some of the guts. They had a blender. Funny huh? Yeah, so I thought it would be pretty good to dispose of some of the soft organs by making a smoothie and and pouring it down the drain.

You know how I said it was a butchery? Japs don't like butchers, I think... Some social tier thing. So that makes this a pretty good place to drop off the rib cage. Just gotta skin it first then place it in with the rest of the hooked meats. Pretty sure nobody can tell the difference between pork ribs and baby-back (get it?) ribs.

Portlander out, still got half a body to dispose. During the day no less.

>> No.56379899
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>> No.56380003

Hey guys do wearwolfs die from something other than silver bullets over in the USA? Im a slav hunter on vacation and a freind asked me to clean up. I'v allredy filled the guy full of bullets two times and im starting to get tiered of this shit. I just wanted to do some hiking

>> No.56380046

Fucking hell.
Stop what you're doing. Find some acid and melt down the remaining remains and dump the vat of Tomie-sludge down an active volcano.

>> No.56380244

in my area things are mostly fine, but I did have one really fucked up encounter yesterday that still has me shook up(even if compared to the bullshit a lot of you guys are dealing with it's relatively mild, and more disturbing than dangerous);

>went to local game store to pick up a preorder(was my day off)
>cashier was acting really off, like she kept having issues typing my info into the computer properly and was acting in that way where someone is trying to hold back laughter(or crying) and doing a really bad job at doing so
>eventually due to both frustration at how poorly she was doing her job and my rising suspicions(even in my relatively peaceful area you don't last long as a Demon Hunter without at least some paranoia), I told her I'd come back for my order later
>after I left the store I snuck around behind the store and did a scrying ritual to determine whether anything screwy was going on(although at the time I was hoping she was just a meth-head or something)
>turns out the girl had FOUR fucking Soul Taps spiritually embedded in her
>I had never heard of anyone surviving having more than one of the damn things jammed in them, let alone four of them
>the worst part was how long they had been in her, it's rare for one of those things to be kept in a person for more than maybe a month or two, somehow she'd survived having four of them in her for almost 20 years(when she'd have been one or maybe two years old)
>which means there's possibly either a demonologist or unsanctioned necromancer running around my turf shoving soul taps into babies and toddlers
>I waited till she got off work to ambush her, hold her down and rip the damn things out of her soul
>she'll live but her soul looks like a piece of swiss cheese, and I doubt her mind will fully recover from the trauma either

god I need another drink after recounting that, not to mention now I've got a lot of work to do hunting down the bastard who did that atrocity

>> No.56380322
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I doubt he's in control anymore. It's likely manipulating him in order to spread itself further. We can only hope some lucky Hunter finds him and kills him before it's too late.

>> No.56380379

Question, why is a kraken in my city? we're closer to bloody space than the sea by fourty kilometres, WHY IS IT HERE OF ALL PLACES?

>> No.56380438

That might of been my fault, i had to deal with some shitty sea cult, you know the kind, the great old thing will rise and bring on a age of darkness yada yada, anyways, they were doing some ritual when i get to them, they pulled it off except i managed to switch a few runes around on their main circle and turn it into a gate opening spell from our world to our world

>> No.56380447

Oh yeah that happens from time to time.
It happens when some idiot gets a bit of egg fragment on his body.
After that they'll probley washed down some pipe and regenerate in water over there.

>> No.56380475

god damnit then I'm gonna kill the thing before it gets to our local museum, I don't know what will happen when it gets its tentacles in there and I'm not looking to find out.

>> No.56380570

I recomend using a high caliber rifle

>> No.56380584

Good luck, you might want to get some sodium, works like a charm

>> No.56380959

I'm sure that if we all just stay inside and go to bed, this whole thing will resolve itself in the morning.

>> No.56381308
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No way you bastard. We're staying up all fucking night.

>> No.56382069
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So now heres the question of the night, I need work. Since are task force has just been disbaned due to UN bitching about me siding with another Pantheon and angering Vatician due to the "Impure gods"

Anyone know a good combat contracting angency who won't bitch about my allies.

>> No.56383387

Psychic rape catgirls are only really a problem in locations with severe gun control laws. Otherwise coordinating the four high power rifles you need is more or less beginner work.

>> No.56383432
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>> No.56383511

Fear not brothers. The true gods are with us. We have achieved our true potential. The Fifth Church has been reunited. Brothers fo the south and west coast walk hand in hand. Star Signals has reached ascension levels on all seven continents.

>> No.56383565 [SPOILER] 
File: 4 KB, 318x302, 1510532972522.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>The Fifth Church has been reunited.
>The Fifth Church.

>> No.56384471
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>> No.56384811
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>> No.56385376
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>> No.56385487
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I've got just the guy

>> No.56385690

>some stupid new hunter fucker opened up a Type T and now its running fucking rampant across america
Chicagoguy here, alls quiet on this front for once since halloween seemed to have been the biggest thing and got alot of shit got spooked hard by some of the biggest big bad fuckers came through here to point out how much of a collective bitch they are comparatively.
still though odds are likely the Type T already broke into city limits, theres just too many open areas still from the lack of personnel and I've heard of terrors being unleashed coming from the southside once again in that gigantic wreck.

>> No.56385830
File: 343 KB, 1000x1000, cosmic-web-nn-full-visualization-kim-albrecht.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Oh god not him. Collateral was a bitch to clean up the last time we called him up.

>> No.56385898

Alright guys I found his body and reunited it with his head and then buried it in consecrated ground

>> No.56386759

I have some blueprints for incendiary charges, if need be. Gimme a minute, I have a LOT of blueprints...

>> No.56386791

Nukes? I can't help you there, but I have a few other ways of leveling cities.

>> No.56386980 [SPOILER] 
File: 169 KB, 1024x1452, 1510547917750.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

We'll take anything you have, anything at all. A Tomie invasion is bad enough, but the Fifthists are even *worse*. We will definitely be up shit-creek without a paddle if we let them have their way.

>> No.56387029

What area of the hunters? I'll send you the blueprints through a quick portal.

>> No.56387328

Anyone have tips for what I should be using against full blown demonic incursions, should be noted I operate out of Atlantic Canada so anything bigger than a NATO 5.56 is sadly out of the question.

>> No.56387368


>> No.56387596
File: 548 KB, 1200x630, the-shadow-over-innsmouth.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>What area of the hunters?
We are currently situated in a small fishing-town, if that's what you mean. The locals aren't exactly the nicest sort either.

>> No.56387736

Where should I send the blueprints?

>> No.56387776
File: 84 KB, 330x372, our-angels-are-different2_6896.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Just dump them off next to us if you can. Or on top of us. We don't really mind.

>> No.56387957

Are you a hunter? You're giving me bad vibes.

>> No.56388311
File: 165 KB, 1024x1024, Gloryhammer_-_Space_1992.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This reminds me:
What is /tg/ listening to tonight?

I'm not just talking about those of us who use music to induce trances and summon our totems. Just curious.

>Not that I don't need a constant stream of new albums and bands to keep that right vibe that makes the link work properly.

Also, tips/tricks for dealing with anomalies that have an electromagnetic component? Interruptions in the music destabilizes my totems.

>> No.56388375

I'm probably going to get flamed as close to hell as /tg/ can get me for this but have you ever considered looking for a demonologist in your neck of the woods? Most of them are honestly pretty loath to let an unrestrained Hell portal open near them (they owe debts to half of its residents)

If it's close enough to holy ground you can get one to shift the portal into a church (for the love of god clear the church first if it's daylight hours). The portal will collapse pretty quick on holy ground and cleaning up the demons trapped in a box full of holy water and sanctified candles is the closest this job gets to shooting fish in a barrel

>> No.56388409
File: 40 KB, 250x250, 1509113199251.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This is too beautiful for words.
The grammar is shit though, but it still earns you a (you)

>> No.56388479
File: 278 KB, 1920x1047, F912970C-D01B-4A36-98B9-EDE3E5B57FB6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Hello demon hunters. I am back again with some fine wares. This time, I have some mighty fine sales incoming! I have a 20% discount on all consumable merchandise in stock as well as a 10% discount on all incoming customer orders over weapons and armors you need enchanted or modified

>> No.56388480

So... Odd question, but has anyone else seen people living on some of those floating rocks? I've been driving through New Mexico for the past few days, handling small jobs, and I keep seeing firelight on the tops. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, right?

Also, if anyone wants to get down here for some easy chup hunting, it's breeding season and most of the goats are gone. They're even coming out in the daylight. Taste damn good too after a few hours of smoking.

>> No.56388511

Yo so, I may have a problem here.
Been hunting demons on my own like a dumbass here and heard rumors that there was likely some demon activity going on a few miles outta town.

So in lies the problem where this said area is just a single-story hut gone to hell after years of neglect, and I'm hearing some kid crying inside. Naturally I want to burn the fucker down with as much holy fire I can grab, being that I went there alone but what ARE the chances that it is, in fact, some random runaway urchin that I'm about to leave roasting in there?

>> No.56388531

I haven't seen any fires but I keep thinking I hear music from them. Maybe the phenomena is unique to the individual?

That being said, I think I could make it over to New Mexico. I've been meaning to stop by Louisiana and stock up so it's an excuse to head that way.

>> No.56388538

New Mexico guy here. Pretty high. During demon season here, they seem to find all sorts of kids out in the desert to use as bait. There might not even be demons in there. But there might be some in there.

>> No.56388649

demons are too spoopy so I hunt witches instead

>> No.56388675

So assuming you're not just going to burn the fucker down (and we all know that's the smart move) you've got two options.

>Bombard the place with something detrimental to demons but not to the kid.
A choir singing hymns would be a great option if you could get one but then again so would a firetruck full of holy water (we've all heard someone whose friend's brother's former partner tried this just once before keeling over of cancer and never explaining how he did it)

Let's be honest though, if you could put that together you would have by now.
>Go in there.
I don't mean to make it sound that simple but it kinda is. You be the judge of whether or not you're liable to come out of there with your soul in one piece or not and whether or not the kid is worth it. Few of us would ever judge you for burning the place to the ground and I'm not one of them. But if you can actually withstand the contents of that hut I tend to suggest a frontal assault. If nothing else it's the fun way to die.

>> No.56388698

>So... Odd question, but has anyone else seen people living on some of those floating rocks? I've been driving through New Mexico for the past few days, handling small jobs, and I keep seeing firelight on the tops. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, right?

Yeah a few of us, the islands seem to be made up of chunks of remote locations that just started..levitating. Nothing in Civilization, but you get one or two campers, or idiots like me out hunting gribblies. Whoever you saw must be lower than my island, because I'm in the fucking Stratosphere.

Higher than Major Tom. Equally high it's a demon luring you in with an old classic bait.

Thus, the ethical thing to do is look for the kid and be ready to burn the place down from the inside while legging it out.

>> No.56388712

>There might even be demons in there
>But there might be some in there
Welp, given that the chances are high, should I just say fuck it and burn it nonetheless? I mean I don't want to kill some kid, but I rather not deal with the possibility of getting fucked by demons the moment I step foot into this thing.

>> No.56388761

Unless you've got any of that authentic saint's bone ground into powder and a way to deliver it, you should probably just burn it to the ground and bury the kid in the morning.

>> No.56388857


Well this just turned depressing real fast. I'll give the poor bastard a prayer or two before I get some sort of fire going. Sad way to go, but being that it's Demon Hunting Season and I came out on my own, the risk is too great. Any good suggestions for prayers Though? All I know are a few of the basics.

>> No.56388926

You'd be amazed at what you can do by just hitting demons hard and fast enough. Sure, conventional arms aren't liable to put anything in that house down for good but if there is a kid in there you MIGHT be able to get in and get him out before things reform after you pump them full of 5.56 rounds.

Honestly, I think us totemists have it worse. We're more equipped for the job but you can't just kick down the door and keep shooting till things turn out one way or the other.

It's a lot slower with every move having to be deliberate and anything that takes your mind off from the trance could end you. Plus, even if you succeed the totems you used won't reform for you for some time, maybe not ever if it's bad in there.

Obviously I've never been in a situation where it's gone as bad as it could but I can certainly imagine. You're in too deep and your totem is already flickering out of existence. Too far from the door to actually make it out but with just enough power left to hold your ground, knowing full well you're buying up to five minutes more before you die. Not really how I want to go out.

>> No.56388950

I'm a musical totemist. Prayers aren't really my thing. I've just got a shortlist of songs I happen to think might help spirits pass on.

As a go to:

>> No.56389012

Psalm 27 1-3. It's what I default to, when I find myself to be too afraid to face a monster. Offhand, I don't know any prayers for cowards.

>> No.56389198


I fucked up. I fucked up bad, /tg/.
So I did what I was told, played the song, said the Psalm and got a fire going. By the time that song ended the hut was burning so bright you could probably see the glow for a few miles. That's when this fucking kid came out.
Turns out the fucker, a little girl at the age of 9 from the looks of it, was fucking possessed. Damn thing crawled outta there like a scene outta The Exorcist burning like a god damn scarecrow in a drought. I fucking booked it outta there with what I could grab but I got a bad feeling that I might have fucked over the town next-door for not properly exorcising a possessed kid who, no doubt, is gonna cause hell.
What the fuck am I gonna do now?

>> No.56389273

Regroup and get ready to do your job.

One kid is an acceptable sacrifice the whole town isn't. Out in the open a 9 year old is a pretty shitty host. Might I suggest hitting it with a car to get things started?

Steal the car, btw, you're not getting that car back. But after it overturns the car it's a great time to fill it with lead and douse the remains in holy water.

>> No.56389298

I think we got this shit on lock, guys

>> No.56389307

Portlander here.

My girlfriend's alive! Well, she's just a hand and a face... But she's growing by the hour! Been keeping her in the duffel and feeding her some fish. A growing girl's gotta eat. Oh... Yeah...

I was feeling like I was being followed and I didn't know where to dump the rest of the parts so I got on a boat to China. I was dumping off packages from the boat every hour and then I was bit and discovered her face on the wrist.

I'm just kinda worried that she might be mad at me... How do I make it up to her when she's back to full size? I want to salvage this relationship.

>> No.56389440

Okay, I'm awake after killing the kraken, it was suprisingly easy considering the lack of water, but I do kinda have a rather large cut over my arm, do those things have poison?

>> No.56389520

Not sure if it's technically poison, but they got nasty goo for sure

>> No.56390367

Guys, Oh guys.
I think I fucked up.
I fucked up bad.

I was tracking down a demon worshiping cult in Constantinople. Apparently they stole an philosopher's stone (yes an ACTUAL philosopher's stone) from an Alchemist's grave and wanted to use it for some awakening ritual.

They were operating in some series of catacombs under the city, I managed to track them down in them middle of their stupid ritual around a stone statue, altar and all. What was of very strange note was the christian imagery I found, but unfortunately it was in ancient greek so I couldn't make out much.

Anyway I gun them down from a high ground, all six of them. The last one was a sorcerer and was harder to kill but I managed to get the drop on him. BUT the ritual had apparently almost finished.

No demons were summoned, but the marble statue (that looks like a king i think ? Some short of big fancy crown and cape) has started MOVING and is addressing me in what I assume to be ancient greek or something, and looks quite pissed off.

Any Idea what the FUCK is going on ?

>> No.56390464

There was a girl who came to town in bits and pieces, luring away our young ones in ones and twos. She seduces boy and girl alike back from the way of spirit to the way of meat, unrounding their souls. We know not if she is Sarkic, Nurgle's brood, or some new freak.

Oh but brothers the harlot's source does not concern us. Every good Fifthist, we must burn, burn, burn her. Every last bit must be burned, so it may be purified by holy smoke.

>> No.56390491

Update, the statue seems to have calmed down or something, here's a transcript of what was written in the altar below the statue. No idea what it means, any hunters know anything about this fucking dead language ?

"Το δε την πόλιν σοι δούναι ουτ' εμόν εστίν ουτ' άλλου των kατοιkούντων εν αυτή, kοινή γαρ γνώμη πάντες αυτοπροαιρέτως αποθανούμεν kαι ου φεισόμεθα της ζωής ημών"

>> No.56390507

Are you sure they were demon worshiping? You might have just killed a bunch of Monophysite leftovers. They aren't definitively right in their brand of Christianity, but their faith and devotion in the face of 1500+ years of oppression has made them favored before God. You done good and fucked up.

>> No.56390530

What kind of christians chug fireballs around and commit grand heists to steal priceless magic artifacts ?

>> No.56390544

Okay so I know it's Demon Hunting 101 to NOT fuck a succubus, but what do I do if it flat out refuses to have sex with me because I like it when girls play hard to get? I mean, I figure I should probably just kill it and be thankful it made my job easier, but what if I'm ruining a potential breakthrough in Demonology? I'm not an expert in Lust demons or anything (I specialize in Wrath dabble in Greed and Pride, how I got to fighting a succubus is a whole other story unto itself) and so I have no idea how common things like this are.

>> No.56390570

Fire is a tool of the lord, one of purification. Hence why the apostles' gifts were signified by tongues of fire. As for stealing, that comes down to where they were stealing it from. An alchemist's stone is a part of hermetic traditions being Christianized. I don't know whether or not the Asian churches count the hermetic traditions as legitimate or not and if they have any hostilities.

>> No.56390646

Okay okay, I may have fucked up on that one. Any idea about the statue though ? The language barrier kinda stops me from communicating with in in any viable way, and I don't really have any large arms fire with me that can take it down if push came to shove. Hell, I don't even know what it IS !

>> No.56391394

Y'know, it may be a Talos. It's got nothing to do with religion, it's just that ambient magic residue from the ritual grounded to it and gave it life and/or bound a soul to it.
Outside of that, i'm drawing a blank. Get some greek philosopher?

Also, update on dog-ear Tomie: she's started skipping work.
She seems oddly bipolar, flipping between normal Tomie behavior and some sort of harem anime lead.
Considerably more anime than regular.
Toby's been talking with anti-tomie, and she's been hoping to become some sort of sex celebrity, but everyone seems to think she's overly plain. So she's trying to merge with regular Tomie and banking on opposites negating each other and rendering her a normal, attractive girl.
Honestly, i'm inclined to let this happen.
In her homeworld, there's more than one Atni-Tomie, enough that they're considered a race of their own right, who incite revulsion and fear in people and transform into an inverted clone of the first person they manage to touch. So an Anti-Tomie touching a muscular delinquent guy would turn into an out-of-shape, nerdy bookworm honor student girl.
Right now, Toby and i are trying to accelerate Anti-Tomie's takeover so Dog-Ear's no longer a problem.

Right now, the best idea would be to give her a proper burial over at New Hunterswake. We've got a priest who can take care of the requisite sermons.

>> No.56391519
File: 89 KB, 718x658, 1451420969301.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

We'll take everything you have, O' Arcanist. Also:

Heh. We've been in this gig longer than you've probably been alive, Crutch.

>> No.56392647


Okay, so, what I have found after a short work, is that the wording translates to loosely this.

"To surrender the city to you is beyond my authority or anyone else's who lives in it, for all of us, after taking the mutual decision, shall die of our own free will without trying to save our lives."

Seriously hunter, google translate is shit but you can get a general meaning of the wording even through it's borking. Get some technological education down the line at some point.

>> No.56392716

Alright so ? Do I just let it be if it's a talos ? What's the chance it goes apeshit on the city ?

>> No.56392818

Really depends on the type. Is there a red, glowing crack on it's leg? If it starts getting openly hostile, a few good sledge thwacks on the crack tend to destabilize the talos' energies enough to trigger a cascade detonation.
But, seeing as it tries to talk greek, find a translator and try to make out proper words.
A quick translation glyph yielded garbled talk about equality within a city, so you may have either a greek philosopher or King Solomon.

>> No.56393870

Hut-anon here, so uh, I managed to somehow kill the damn thing. It ran into the town shortly after I received some advice on killing it, followed the trail of ash and burnt flesh all the way to a manhole leading into the town's sewers. Now, knowing that a burnt, fucked-up looking possessed girl is rummaging around in shit water, I did the next best thing I could think of: I grabbed a can of gas, siphoned a bit (heavy emphasis on a bit) of gas from the locals, made a makeshift torch and took four bottles of holy water from a kindly old priest.
Long story short I tried to light the whole damn sewer on fire in an attempt to enact some sort of 'nuke it from orbit just to be safe tactic'. It kinda resulted in a quarter of the town catching on fire, but it lured that possessed fuck out from the sewers, and I was able to burn it to shit with what remaining gas I had. poured a shit ton of holy water on it and got the hell out before the locals found out who the hell burned their houses down. Didn't get paid though because of the aforementioned pissed off locals, but I guess it's all worth killing a possessed kid for.

>> No.56395386
File: 217 KB, 724x911, one_eyed_demon_army_by_laslolf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.56397233
File: 366 KB, 1024x1024, winged_evil_by_ox3art-d4fjzbf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.56398161 [SPOILER] 
File: 1.15 MB, 500x667, 1510604660969.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.56399890 [SPOILER] 
File: 105 KB, 1024x624, 1510610933382.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.56401329
File: 151 KB, 560x884, c76037e45452d99a3b6c31b0477ac60c--hp-lovecraft-cthulhu-mythos (1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.56402265
File: 106 KB, 900x562, cosmic-heart-of-the-universe-bw-shawn-dall.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.56402693

That's nice
Demon art thread is in /cg/.
let me borrow that epileptic art. I can rework it into memetic virus against Type-Ts

>> No.56402846
File: 1.71 MB, 1920x1920, coverart.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>let me borrow that epileptic art. I can rework it into memetic virus against Type-Ts
You're free to. Just don't summon a Type A into our reality whilst you're at it, please and thank kyou. We rather enjoy existing within this local cluster of realities, thank you kindly.

>> No.56403468

Oh fuck, who let the Idigama in here? Quick someone set the werewolves on him!

>> No.56403613
File: 65 KB, 1024x759, rs_1024x759-150114140752-1024-queen-elizabeth-gun.ls.11415_copy[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Behind you, you wart encrusted revenant.

>> No.56403666
File: 656 KB, 1200x1458, leave the irish to me.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.56403709
File: 91 KB, 848x1200, kingspooks2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

So I met this guy in a tomb round the middle east, He told me to go away as he only takes the heads of his order.

>> No.56403923 [SPOILER] 
File: 98 KB, 600x600, 1510624857465.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Here, give him spoiler related if you ever meet him again. Tell him it's a house-warming gift.

>> No.56404096


>> No.56405989

I think we used it on Nyarlathotep last month?
Doesn't it need at least a year to recharge?

>> No.56406003
File: 53 KB, 730x428, greatfire350.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Fuckin' finally. Most of London is a bloody mess at this point, and a good portion of the population are either fullblown mind-slaves, or are just straight-up dead.

>> No.56408097

Sent them to you last night, get them ok?

>> No.56408583

>are you frustrated?

>> No.56410022
File: 104 KB, 1024x1413, scp_2460_by_sunnyclockwork-d99fkar.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Yep. Though several creatures did try to jump us upon receiving them. I wonder why.

>> No.56410501

Not a clue, maybe they admire my craftsmanship?

>> No.56412070

Constantinople Anon here. I.....I figured out some things.
Found a greek translator to help me communicate with the statue.....apparently, it is (or claims to be), Constantine Palaiologos, and was the last Byzantine Emperor that use alchemy to turn himself into a statue or something until the time was right to awaken.

This story stinks but at the very least his knowledge of the 15th century makes me believe that at least it's a spirit from that era. In any case, I talked (yes, I conversed with a magical statue for 4 hours, not what i was expecting when I became a demon hunter), and I managed to keep him up to date with recent happening.
I pretty sure he isn't dangerous and if he is, it's not dangerous to the common man I'm sworn to protect. He left after a while, mentioning something he wanted to visit "An old friend in Wallachia" or something.

So case is closed, everything's clear on my field, presumably awakened Byzantine Emperors aside. What about you, brothers and sisters ?

>> No.56412705

New Hunterswake reporting in. Dog-Ear Tomie has been completely erased and eclipsed by Anti-Tomie.
She's resumed work as a barmaid and supposedly writes a tome about interplanar travel under the pen name Zeik Twei.
The nutjob's log ladder is complete, he's building some sort of crane on the floating island he caught.
The perimeter defence is also ready, such as it is.
I guess the Bluerun brothers don't get that more dakka isn't always the solution.
They've got a fuck-off big beam cannon linked up with the church for some reason.
We've got a pair of fish faces in town, y'know, the Deep Ones.
They tried to convert some before giving up and ordering several beers at the Hunter's Dream.
I haven't seen sight of Portland-Anon, i'm a little worried his Tomie fragments may have gone to his head for good.
Also, my daughter's still at large.
If anyone's in South Louisiana swamplands and has any news of her after the whole logging incident, hit me up.

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